Chapter 4

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The research on any spells or sigils that might have been used to lock her memory away were fruitless. She had read numerous books and even though they could be useful, they weren't the right ones. Most of them were mainly to erase one particular memory and not lock them away. As for the ones that were supposed to unlock them, they simply didn't exist. There were the ones that could help you find a special memory or to enhance your memory but none was what Emma was looking for.

A few weeks have passed by and Emma was adapting pretty well to her new life. She was relaxing in this life as a human, of course. Even though she accepted the fact that she might be an angel and the first one of them. She was still not fully and completely fine with this. It was still hard for her to come to terms with it. She was struggling with this idea. That's why she wanted to get her memory back. So she would know if it was true or not. If all this story with Michael, Lucifer and Heaven was real.

Having no means to know for sure, she just kept doing what she has been doing for Bobby during these last few weeks. Taking calls, doing research, cooking and cleaning. She didn't mind doing all that, she actually liked it. During these last few weeks they rarely have heard of the boys. They called on few occasions when they were stuck on a case. But other than that, Emma didn't know much about them. When she thought about it, she realized that she has never really sit down with them and have a real conversation. Sure, they talked when there was that thing with Anna or when she gave them information about the creatures they were hunting. Other than that she never really interacted with them. Maybe she'll get to talk to them when they'll stop by next time.

They did when Pamela died after helping them. A seal was saved but the cost was her life. Unfortunately.

Anyway, today was another usual day at Bobby's. She cleaned the living room quickly and went grocery shopping. She took the truck. Bobby's car was gone since he was himself on a hunt. And that's when it happened. The radio acted up, the voices came on and she knew he would pop in.

"Why are you not with the Winchesters?" He asked as soon as he popped in.

"Why didn't you come when I called for help?" She countered.

"I was busy." Camael replied shortly.

"I was tortured." Emma deadpanned. "What could possibly be more important than saving my life?"

"I am sorry." He retorted.

"Guess what? I don't do shit with 'I'm sorry.'" Emma snapped. "And just so we're clear, I'm not your lapdog. So, you can't just pop in and expect me to obey to your orders."

"You're right you're not my lapdog." Camael nodded. "But you're wrong."

"How so?"

"I'm not ordering you anything. I'm merely reminding you what you have to do." He retorted. "See, when you've decided you've had enough of your memories, you called me."

"And?"

"And you gave me all the information that I needed to know in order to help you, later." He continued. "But I was delayed."

"Why?"

"For the exact same reason, I couldn't be here to help you." Camael grunted.

"What reasons?" She raised her eyebrows at him.

"I can't tell you." Camael said again.

"Come back when you can." Emma unbuckled her seat belt. Took the keys from the ignition and got out of the truck.

Camael blocked her path. "It is really important that you join them." He insisted. "You are the only one who can help and stop the apocalypse."

"Dean and Sam are doing great without me. They don't need my help." Emma pushed him slightly away. "I'd only be in the way."

"Emma…"

"No, stop it, Camael." Emma snapped at him. "Last time I helped, I ended up being tortured. Pamela helped them with the reapers thing and she's dead. And all this is because of your war. I don't really want to get involved."

"But you're gonna." Camael told her. "Someone's killing angels. Seven of them has been killed this week."

"You're telling me this because?" She said pushing herself away from the truck.

"At this exact moment, Dean is torturing Alastair. He's looking for answers for angels." Camael explained to her. "But I know better."

"What do you mean?"

"It's not demons. It's an angel." Camael revealed to her.

"Why don't you tell them, then? Why are you still here?" Emma asked him.

"I'm the Shadowbroker. I can't be seen." Camael smirked but Emma sensed that there was more to it than that.

"And now you're asking me to do your dirty job?"

"I'm asking you to do your dirty job." He brought his fingers to her forehead and she was thrown into some sort of storage room.


The first thing she heard was the screams. Then she saw Castiel standing in front of door. Camael brought his finger to his lips but it was useless. Castiel knew that he was there.

"I'm counting on you to look out for her, Brother." Camael warned Castiel.

"You're the one who brought me here. Why should he look out for me?" Emma questioned him.

"We have orders to kill him." Castiel replied to Emma.

"And in spite of our disagreement, he knows that you are to be protected." Camael added before popping out with a crack.

"So," Emma started walking up slowly to the door. "Dean is your lapdog, now. The one that has to get his hands dirty for you, angels?"

"Dean has been Alastair's student in Hell." Castiel replied following her. "We need him to do this. We need to know who's doing the killing."

"Well, this is useless." Emma said turning around. She flinched as she heard another scream. "I've been told that it's not a demon who's doing the killing. But an angel."

"Camael's words are not to be trusted." Castiel told her while walking up to the door.

"Why's that?" Emma frowned up. Castiel faced the door keeping his back to her.

"He has been giving up information to angels and demons alike." Castiel replied. "Workings for the ones who paid him with favors that he needed."

"I'm not giving him any favors." She countered turning away from Castiel and stopping next to the table. "He gave me the information and I didn't even have to ask." Castiel didn't say a word. "Do you really think that this is the right thing to do? Doesn't Dean deserve better?"

"These are my orders, Emmanuelle." Castiel retorted sadly.

"Call me Emma." She said and then continued. "And orders are orders. I know. Still, I can't believe that God gave you this order. It must be someone else otherwise he won't be a forgiving and merciful God anymore."

"Are you doubting our father's orders?" Castiel questioned facing her now.

"Yeah, I am. Aren't you?" She returned him the question. Castiel remained silent for the second time. "You do. You are doubting those orders." Emma walked up to him. "Step up, Castiel. Do the right thing. Don't let Dean turn into something he's clearly not."

"Why are you here, Emmanuelle?" Castiel asked instead.

"I'm here to do my job." She replied quite gravely. "Even if I have doubts about what my job really is." Emma frowned up suddenly.

It has been quiet for the last few minutes, she now realized. Alastair has stopped screaming. Even though, she hasn't liked hearing him scream, not hearing him was more unsettling.

"Something's wrong." She stated.

Castiel turned around and look through the small window of the door. He ripped it open and rushed inside. Emma followed him immediately. Dean's face wore several bruises and blood. Castiel stabbed Alastair in the shoulder as Emma rushed to Dean's side. She grabbed his face carefully. His eyes were unfocused and he had difficulties to breathe. She begged him to stay with her but he slowly fell into darkness.

Alastair got the upper hand on Castiel. Pinning him against a pillar, Alastair was chanting a spell to exorcise the angel. Witnessing this triggered something in Emma. Just like it happened with Uriel. Some fighting skills that has been buried somewhere in her brain, just came back to the surface. Emma grabbed Ruby's knife that Alastair has dropped previously. She got up and lunged at him. They both collided with the wall violently. The White-Eyed demon grabbed her throat and lifted her up in the air. She stabbed his shoulder like Castiel has done it before. He released his hold and she dropped on her feet. She punched him twice in his guts and threw her fist in his jaw once. Alastair didn't seem to be affected by it. He blocked her arm as she swung her arm at him and punched her. He grabbed her shirt and brought his face closer to hers.

"You came back for more." Alastair chuckled. "I knew you enjoyed it as much as I did." He said referring to their last encounter.

"You're a sick bastard." She growled before she grabbed his neck and headbutted him.

Alastair staggered back. Emma grabbed his shirt this time and punched him hard on the jaw. She then kneed him. Alastair blocked her hit and grabbed her leg and her waist and lifted her up in the air. Before slamming her back on the ground. He wrapped his hand around her neck and started to choke her. And suddenly he released her and was thrown against the wall. Emma rolled on her stomach.

"Stupid pet tricks." Alastair said to the one that was pinning him to the walls.

"Who's murdering the angels? How are they doing it?" It was Sam. He was the one who was pining Alastair to the wall.

Emma looked up at Sam as he was interrogating the demon. He was using powers, she didn't know he possessed. He twisted his hand and Alastair seemed to find it hard to breathe. He choked out his answers, barely able to tell them correctly. And the truth has been revealed. A truth that Emma already knew. That Castiel didn't want to believe because it was coming from a corrupted angel. It was not the demons behind those killings. It was something else. Emma knew it was Angels and Castiel had his doubts.

Emma witnessed the scene, horrified by Sam's powers. And she noticed it. The change in Sam Winchester. He wasn't the same man that he was when she first met him. Something was different but she couldn't tell what it was.

Alastair challenged Sam to send him back to hell but Sam didn't. Sam showed to Alastair that he was strong enough. Strong enough to kill the powerful White-Eyed demon with his mind. There was lights coming from Alastair's body as if he was burning from inside. He screamed before collapsing on the ground. Dead. Knowing and seeing that Sam has that kind of powers, scared Emma. She didn't know what to make of this. She didn't know if it was a good thing or not. But a little voice told her that it wasn't a good thing. The voice told her that it was actually a bad thing. That it was wrong.


Together, Sam and Emma took Dean to the hospital. He wasn't doing so well. His nose was broken, bruises covered his face. He also had a few broken ribs and he couldn't really breathe on his own. The doctor plugged him to a respirator. Sam and Emma remained at his side. Watching over him.

"Why were you back there?" Sam asked Emma as she was looking out of the window.

"I was grocery shopping when Camael popped into the car and asked me to do my job." Emma explained.

"Your job?" Sam asked.

She turned to him. "Ask me that again later."

Sam looked at the door and Emma followed his gaze. There standing in the corridor was Castiel. Sam threw a last glance at his brother before following Castiel. Emma fell into steps behind him.

"Sam…" Castiel started.

"Get in there and heal him. Miracle. Now." Sam hissed at him.

"I can't." Castiel replied.

"You and Uriel put him in there—"

"No."

"—because you can't keep a devil's trap together."

"I don't know what happened. That trap…it shouldn't have broken. I'm sorry." Castiel apologized.

"This whole thing was pointless. You understand that?" Sam continued. "The demons aren't doing the hits. Something else is killing your soldiers."

"Perhaps Alastair was lying." Emma shook her head at Castiel's obstinacy.

"No. He wasn't." Sam said before walking off.

Emma remained behind with Castiel. "Sam's right. Alastair wasn't lying." Emma repeated. "Camael might be corrupted. He might be playing in both teams but Cas…" She paused. "What if angels were really behind those killings, uh?"

"That's not possible." Castiel retorted. "They would not kill their own."

"Humans kill their own. Demons kill their own. Why should angels be any different?" Emma questioned him. "Listen, believe what you want but whoever is doing the killing, put Dean in that room. They sent Alastair on him and if we didn't arrive on time, Dean would have been dead by now."

"What should I do?" Castiel asked her.

"Find out who broke the Devil's trap and you'll find out who killed the angels." Emma told him before turning away from him. She heard the flapping song of the angel's wings as he disappeared. Camael stepped out of his hiding spot. "Look out for him." She ordered him.

Camael nodded as she walked past him. "You're starting to act like yourself again." He commented before he too disappeared.


"Okay, I got a hold of Bobby." Emma announced as she stepped in Dean's room with fresh cup of coffees. "He's pissed because I abandoned his truck near the grocery store." She continued while Sam emitted a snort. "But he said to give him a call once Dean's awake." She sat down and took a first sip from her coffee.

They sat there silently. Emma considered about questioning Sam on his powers but she decided against it. Maybe it wasn't her business. Sam might not be doing something wrong. What could be wrong with him using his powers to kill demons, uh? Everything, Emma thought. She's seen the way Sam has been the night before. Using those powers like he could do everything. Like he was invincible, not flinching once while he tortured Alastair. Not feeling any remorse for killing Alastair's host.

"Sam, those powers you got, are they…?" Emma hesitated not knowing how to finish this question. "Is it safe for you to use them?"

Sam sighed deeply casting down a look at the floor. "I know they'll help me kill Lilith."

"That's not exactly answering my question." Emma said.

"It's all that matters." Sam retorted.

"No, it's not." She countered. "Sam, it doesn't matter how strong you are with them. If in the end, they're just turning you into something you're not..."

"What do you know about me, Emma?" Sam cut her off. "Nothing. You don't know me. You don't know Dean." Emma squared her jaw tightly at his words. Sam was telling the truth but it didn't hurt any less. "With those powers, I'm strong enough to stop the apocalypse. To stop Lilith."

"It's Dean's job to stop the apocalypse. Not yours." She told him unnecessarily.

"Dean's not strong enough anymore." Sam continued. "Since he came back from hell, he's different."

"Sam, you're right. I don't know you." Emma retorted. "I don't know Dean. Hell, I don't even know myself." She scoffed. "But those powers you got, they're not good. The way you killed Alastair like it was nothing, I have a feeling that—that's not you." She got up and walked out of the room. "I'm gonna get a refill."


Emma sat in the hospital church. Sam hit a nerves when he told her that she didn't know them. And it was anything but the truth. She didn't know them; she didn't know anyone. She didn't even know herself. Everything research she has made about herself, has led her to nothing. Every single thing, she thought she knew about herself, might be a lie. Again it raised up more questions, making her more confused.

On his second night at the hospital, Dean has finally woken up. They unplugged him from the machines since he was finally able to breathe on his own. Camael hasn't showed up yet, so Emma didn't know how Castiel's investigation was going. But knowing that some angels were working for bringing on the apocalypse, instead of stopping was not very reassuring.

So, Emma has made a decision. She will stay with the Winchesters. She will do what Camael has been asking her to do all this time. She'll help the Winchesters stop the apocalypse. Help them against Demons and Angels alike. That's what she was going to do. That's what she was supposed to do.


"Uriel is dead." Camael announced appearing next to her.

"What happened?" Emma asked him.

"He's the one who killed the angels." Camael continued. "Because they refused to join him. To free Lucifer." He turned to her. "Now more than ever you need to be with them. Some angels will try…"

"I know." Emma cut him off. "That's why I'll stay with them."

Camael remained silent a moment, not believing her. "Okay."

"Okay?" Emma scrunched up her eyebrows. "That's all you have to say?"

"Yeah. You being reasonable is making me speechless, actually." Camael admitted.

Emma scoffed. "Let's just say that I'm worried about the angels. The demons. And Sam."

"Oh, yeah. His abilities." Camael nodded.

"You knew?"

"All the angels know about him and his psychic powers." He shrugged. "That's why some of us don't like him."

"Why? Is it dangerous?" She questioned.

"Of course, it is." He answered. "Especially because it's Ruby that made him use them in the first place." He turned back looking at the cross on the wall of the church. "That's all I can tell you about his powers."

"Is Dean capable of doing what he's supposed to do?" She questioned suddenly.

"Yes. He is." Camael said assuredly. "The righteous man who started the apocalypse is the one that can stop it."


"I'll get that." Emma said wearing clothes way too big for her.

"I'm not crippled." Dean grunted. "I can carry that myself."

"Oh, I know but just humor me here." Emma grabbed his bag and walked out of the room. "I feel like a hobbit wearing Men's clothes." She grumbled giving Sam the bag.

"Soon, we'll be at Bobby's. You'll be able to dress in your hobbit clothes again." He joked.

"Ha, ha, ha, very funny, Samsquash." Emma replied dryly. She turned around to see Dean walking to the car holding his ribs. "And that's why I took the bag."

"Shut up, Emma." Dean said.


The trip to Sioux Falls was quite short. Sam being the only one capable and allowed to drive the car, was behind the wheels. Emma settled on the back seat, watching the scenery passed by. Nothing interesting there. Just trees and roads and nothing else. So slowly and surely she drifted to sleep for the rest of the trip. She didn't dream. She didn't think. It was a quiet and nice sleep.


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