I am alive! I promise

I have re-written this chapter about four times. I needed it to be perfect because I think Lily's story might be wrapping up. Unless you all keep begging me to keep going.

Thank you to the people who have reviewed! If you haven't, honestly, it makes me write faster! Plus I love to hear what you have to say about this story.

Please Review and Enjoy!

Everything had changed around me; all I am trying to do is keep my head up and smile. It would be easy, if the Minister of Magic hadn't stepped down and my dad was in the running to being appointed to the job.

It also didn't help that Scorpius refused to see me.

After he had woken up and I saw him, I'm guessing he woke up again. No one was allowed to go in the room unless they were directly related to him. He wouldn't even let me come into the room. It was maddening. The first time I tried to walk into the room, I was bounced back. I almost had to have an overnight stay myself. I talked with Draco but he wasn't much help. He only told me that Scorpius refused to see anyone.

I think I threw a fit when I went back to my apartment for an hour. That was over a month ago. I had been picking up better habits. I had been practicing harder; I had been playing my best so far this season. I ignored people asking me questions about how my relationship was since people hadn't seen me at the hospital and I had been spending my free time with my friends. Lorcan, Lysander, Hugo, Shania and I had been meeting up at least twice a week. I didn't really notice how much I missed them.

It was finally the first Saturday I had off since the season began. I walked into the pub with my head down. I didn't really want to be noticed, but Hugo had insisted that we go out. I opened the door to the pub and was immediately bombarded with people. I pushed through the crowd to see the twins sitting with drinks in their hands. Once they saw me they started mocking the people at the door, squealing and begging for me to sign their napkins.

I laughed at them and dropped into my seat stealing a drink from Lorcan as we laughed. "Any reason why we were told to meet in public," he asked taking his drink back.

"Maybe Hugo and Shania broke up and now we have to pick sides." Lysander joked. "Poor Lil, so are you losing a cousin or a roommate?"

"Gee, I guess I would have to move in with you two." I smirked as someone came and took my drink order.

"I'm sure your boyfriend would love that," Lorcan said with an eye roll.

"Ha. Ha" I said leaning back in my chair. "I'm sure they just are tired of spending all their time at the apartment or avoiding wedding plans."

"I think you are describing yourself there, Lils. By the way, bad picture of you on the cover of the prophet, I bet your brothers were trying not to crack jokes in it."

"I don't even understand why we have to do it. None of us live at home anymore, and Teddy almost didn't show up for the pictures."

"Because, at the end of the day, you are always going to be a Potter, even if you get married to a Malfoy, and don't try to tell us you won't. Everyone will always see the Potters, the happy family after the war. You know this, how many times have you come onto the train screaming about it?" Lysander picked up his drink again, taking a sip.

I rolled my eyes as my butterbeer came and so did my cousin. He said down with Shania, both of them grinning from ear to ear. We looked at them confused. I mean, we always see them happy, but never this happy.

"Well," Lorcan said, finishing his drink.

"Well," Hugo said looking to Shania then back to us. "Listen, you two are leaving for Africa in a few days and this is the midseason break you have Lily."

I blinked a few times. I will also ignore the fact that he called this a "break." I have been busting my butt off with my workouts.

"I finally asked Shania to marry me." We all burst out lout, going around the table hugging them and ordering another round of drinks. We finally sat down.

"Shania and I were thinking, well, I brought it up and she said yes." They looked to one another again.

"Get on with it, mate," Lysander groaned.

"Rose and Nick totally stole my thunder with planning their wedding and well, we have decided to elope."

"Grandma will kill you." I stared blankly.

"Grandma has how many weddings to plan? And a new baby in a month," Hugo said.

"Aunt Hermione will kill you," I said again.

"Why not wait?" Lorcan said flashing back into his normal stare I used to love.

"Because, that is all we have been doing is waiting, and waiting. It's one thing after another."

"Why not just move in together?" I ask. "It isn't like you spend every night in your own bed." I said looking at both of them.

"And you can say the same?" Hugo hissed back at me.

Valid point.

"Look, we know our parents would want to be there, but—"

"No buts," I shook my head. "Look, just move in with us Hugo, Rose is getting married in three months, my dad will be in his new job, and so will yours Hugo. Quinn and James will have their baby and then everyone will be bugging you to death about your wedding."

Shania looked up at us, biting her lip. "You promise?" She was looking at me.

"I can't even visit Malfoy right now, so no; I really think you are fine in your choice, but thinks for thinking of me." I add with an unneeded eye roll. "I can move out at the end of the year, or we both can if the apartment is too small. Lorcan and Lysander will finally have their own rooms again. All will be at peace."

I picked up my butterbeer and took a long drink before slamming the cup down. "We didn't mean to upset you, Lily."

"I'm not upset," I said glaring. I was upset. I was upset for the fact that I felt like I had no control in my life at the moment. This was just another change to look forward to. I hate change. It scares me, it makes me want to run back to be a small child sitting on my dad's lap, listening to him talk about his dad. The adventures he and my uncle went on at work. I missed lying out in the stars in the freezing cold on Christmas night with my best friends. I missed my banter back and forth with Scorpius; I never really knew how much I loved it. How much I miss him.

"I need to go." I told them standing up. "I will see you lot later, yeah?" I walked away before they could say anything else. I rushed out, ignoring everything around me.

"Lily," Lorcan said following me into the warm September air. "Lily, wait up, you know you're in better shape than me."

"What?" I said stopping in the middle of a crowd.

"Hugo," he stopped. "Shania didn't mean to upset you. You have a lot going on right now, we all know that."

I nodded. "I'm fine, I just—I just need to go to somewhere."

"See you tomorrow?" He asked taking a step closer to me. "We all finally have had time since school to hang out. It has been months."

"I understand," I told him giving him a quick hug before apperating away.

"Lily," I told me holding onto my hand, keeping me close to him. "It doesn't have to be this way. Hasn't he done with to you before? You deserve better." I didn't know what was happening when he leaned down and kissed me. It was quick and I pulled away. I looked back up to him, in his beautiful eyes. The person I had always wanted in my childhood, and I was walking away. Talk about change.

I went back into the hospital. I had spent so much time here before Scorpius decided not to see me. Not even to look me in the eye and tell me why I couldn't. I took a seat on the floor with my feet out in front of me. The moment I saw a Malfoy or a Greengrass, I was going to pounce.

I paced back and forth in front of his room, then sat down again. I'm not sure if they can see me through the wards on the room, but I knew someone would see me eventually. I sat for at least another hour and a half before Astoria Malfoy and her mother turned the corner with fresh flowers. They stared at me for a minute before walking closer to the door. I stood up from the floor, straightening out my shirt before walking to them. I had my hands laced in front of me. They didn't say anything, just started to walk past me.

"Wait," I said stepping in front of them. "Please, let me see him."

"Lily," Astoria said, she was giving me a pleading look. The same one Scorpius gives me.

"Please, no one will tell me what is wrong, and I don't know why he won't talk to me! "

"He doesn't want to see anyone, Lily, please. Let him have his space."

"Or maybe she should just take this as a sign," Melena Greengrass snapped. "Miss. Potter, maybe you should just go home and leave my grandson son alone. I know that you are a nice girl but my grandson needs to be with a pure-blood witch."

"Mother," Astoria said giving her a sad look.

"I know who your father and your mother. Even what you do as profession, something a nobel woman should not be doing. Riding on a broom and tossing a ball through a hoop. My grandson doesn't want to see you or be with you. Please, let him heal in peace."

I'm not someone who cries, but I thought that part of my life with Scorpius' family was over. I thought that I was accepted, even if my grandma was a muggleborn. Maybe that really is why he doesn't want to see me.

"Mother, that wasn't appropriate." She snapped to her. "Lily, dear, Scorpius just needs time to heal."

"Please," I said wiping my eyes, the wetness shining on the light on my hand.

Astoria's mother went into the room, ignoring her daughter's comment. "Just give me a moment." She grabbed my hand and patted it gently. "I'll go talk to him."

I nodded my head and fell back on the wall. I kept wiping my eyes and attempting to collect myself. I didn't understand any of this. Why has he been avoiding me for a month? No letter or anything.

I waited another thirty minutes before Astoria and her mother came out. Her mother stuck her noise up at me then walked away. I waited for another minute before she took my hand and led me into the room. It had changed since I had spent night after night waiting for Scorpius to come back to me.

Now I was coming back to him.

The bed had moved to the corner of the room shoved on the wall. There were no chairs but a new table was sitting in the opposite corner next to the window. It had a cauldron and with green smoke coming from it and other bottles in scarlet red and sky blue on the table. In the middle of the room to there was a small walking carpet with railings on each side. I looked to Astoria who patted my hands again. Scorpius was sitting on his bed, looking down at his hands, facing the floor.

"I'll leave you two alone," she told me, walking to Scorpius. "Your father should be here in about ten minutes. Please do not hurt yourself."

Scorpius nodded his head, still not look at me. She kissed his head before leaving us in silence. I kept opening and closing my mouth, trying to think of what to say. How upset I was.

"You have the right to be upset with me," He said softly looking up at me. He hadn't shaved in a while, I could tell. He had scruff on his chin and his hair needed to be cut. "I just didn't want you to see me like this. I couldn't put you through more stress than what I already had. If you were too stressed out or upset and fell off your broom. I couldn't forgive myself."

"You could have put that in a letter," I told him holding my arms.

"I did," He said, looking confused. "How is it you never get my letters?"

"I dunno," I said taking another step to him. "I don't understand you look perfectly fine. You were even offered your bosses job when you go back, right? That is what my dad said."

"If, if I can go back." He caught my eyes for a moment then looked away.

"What do you mean if? You love your work." I walked over to the bed, sitting next to him. He caught my eyes again and put his hand on my cheek. I missed him more than I realized. I missed his touch. "What is wrong? You are fine, right?" I leaned up into him. His lips were slightly chapped but soft and tender. I put my hand to his neck, it seemed like it had been forever since I had kissed him. He tangled his hand in my hair, this body stiff and rigged. I pulled my lips away from his, slowly giving him small kisses here and there before he spoke again.

"I didn't know how to tell you." I put his hand in mine. "When I woke up, well, when I woke up and knew where I was I—I couldn't move. Some things magic can't fix. Everyone kept coming in and out of the room, and my parents and I decided it was best if I didn't see anyone until I was getting better. We didn't expect it to take this long."

"I don't see anything wrong with you." I told him, looking him up and down.

"Of course you can't," He said sharply.

I stood up staring at him. "Just tell me what is wrong. Whatever it is, we can get through it together."

"Lily." He had a warning tone in his voice.

"No, really. You know this. You never had to shut me out. We can just walk out of here and I can stay with you for a while and help you get back onto your feet."

"What do you think we have been trying to do?!" He snapped. "Look around the room, Lily. I can't walk! I haven't been able to stand on my own in the past four weeks. I could barely stand two weeks ago!"

"You will get better," I shook my head.

"Magic can't fix everything, Lily. What do you think we have been trying to do for the past few weeks?" He rubbed his eyes. I think he was crying. "I didn't exactly know how to tell my girlfriend who is a professional Quidditch player that I can't even walk to the bathroom by myself."

"Just like that," I said kneeling down putting my hands on his legs. "It doesn't change the way I feel about you."

"I know, I know that. I just don't know what to do if I can't walk out of this hospital. I can't go back to work if I can't. I have to run down in the Department and—and I just don't know what I will do. My grandparents would panic if I can't walk. My dad and I and all the other healers have been trying to find the right potion, something, a spell, anything. But nothing is lasting."

"It might just take time," I told him.

"No, time is bad." He shook his head. "The more time I am off my feet, the harder it will be to get control back. Everything will change and I know how you have trouble with change. My father told me about your father getting nominated for Minister of Magic. I just thought if you didn't know, then you couldn't—"

"Stop," I interrupted him. "Stop. We will figure it out together," I kissed him forehead. "I promise."