Don't ya know

by aprileagle

COMPLETE! Life can be hard. Especially when you are a teenager. When you see strange shadows. When you realize that you are a little bit different from the other girls in your class. When you recognize that you are in love with your best friend...

3. Chapter 2: Far, far away

Chapter two: Far, far away

In Japan the leaves slowly changed their colours. It was in the beginning of September and autumn showed it first signs. This land was different. It was hotter and here the summer seemed to last longer. The trees were still green and Hotaru started to sweat in her t-shirt and her long, dark jeans as she left the airport. Together with other excited students. Who just arrived from all parts of the world. Hotaru could hear different languages she couldn't understand. Some of them sounded a little bit like Japanese and English, some other were completely different.

Hotaru stopped in front of the airport and let her heavy suitcase down. She couldn't remember that she put so many things into it. Her dark eyes squinted against the sun and automatically she put her sunglasses on. Birds sang high above. But it were normal birds. Nor sea birds.

I am going to miss the sea.

Hotaru gulped and sighed slightly. She knew that it were several hundred miles to the next ocean. All the water she would see during the next months would be the water of lakes or swimming pools. This was a hot country and somewhere Hotaru read that they had a lot of swimming pools. That swimming was a great hobby for the people here. Just like riding. Because they had endless fields and endless plains to ride out. From here came some of Haruka's best opponents. Because they had so many space to train with their motorbikes or their fast cars.

A woman at the age of fifty read out their names loudly to make sure that all pupils arrived safely in the United States of America. She wore a long summer dress and her hairs were put together in a knot in her neck what gave her the look of being very strict. Her hairs used to be dark. But now they were mere grey. A summer hat protected her from the sun's heat.

"Lina Zimmermann? Is Lina Zimmermann here?"

Hotaru heard names she had never heard before in her life. Not even from the movies she had watched at cinema. Together with Chibiusa.

Little darling...

For a moment she felt sad and alone. She wanted to turn around. To go back to the plane and to say the pilot that he should fly her home. That it was all a big mistake, a big misunderstanding. That she belonged to Tokyo. To Japan. To her big, lively family.

"Hotawu Tenou?" asked the woman now and plucked nervously at a grey strand that escaped her knot as no one answered. Her blue eyes sparkled behind her glasses and a soft breeze Hotaru enjoyed a little bit ran through her light green summer dress.

"Hotawu Tenou? From Tokyo, Japan? Isn't she here?"

Hotaru's eyes grew wide as she heard what should be her name. A grin formed on her mouth and she giggled without thinking about it. Then she raised her hand into the air and shouted clearly:

"Hai!"

She knew that it was too hectic right now to explain them that her name was Tenô Hotaru and not the strange word the woman called her. But later on she had to make that clear or she would suffer from endless laughing. The American accent sounded even stranger in her ears as she said Tokyo and Japan.

For some moments the woman looked puzzled, because she didn't understand what the girl with the dark clothes just said but she was there and that was all what counted. Shortly she corrected her glasses before she carried on with her list. She was now responsible for fifty people from all around the world - and from all countries from America so that she was relieved whenever someone was there who stood on the list.

"Mary Dantes?"

A girl who stood right beside Hotaru giggled now, too. Then she raised her hand and shouted with a bright grin on her face.

"Oui."

The woman looked again a little bit confused but after some seconds she hurried on and soon she had to see to her great relieve that all persons were there. No one was missing.

Thank goddess!

She declared them in a loud, slow voice that they should come to the bus who would bring them to their new home. To the private school - Abraham Lincoln school, founded in 1893. Hotaru who still had some difficulties to understand the foreign language, tried to grab all her bags and her suitcase at once and stumbled towards the bus. She wasn't the only one trying to hold balance under the enormous weight. There was excited talking and giggling around and Hotaru saw that she was the only girl from Japan. For some seconds she was sad but then she cheered up. So she had indeed to learn and practise the other language. And maybe she was lucky and no one knew that she was the daughter of a famous formula one racer and a famous violinist, knowing the queen of Japan. Because she wanted to get new friends. Real friends who liked her, not her family. Not her money.

Friends? Will I really get friends?

Hotaru frowned as she finally put all her belongings into the huge boot and settled down on a seat next to the window. To be able to have a closer look of this strange land while they would get to their new school. As far as she could understand it would take them about four hours to get there. America was a huge land and so this wasn't a distance at all.

"'ello. May I sit down?"

Hotaru turned around and stared for a long moment at the blonde girl standing next to her, looking asking down at her. It was the same girl who had giggled as the woman called her name - certainly also very wrong.

"Hai." answered Hotaru and pulled her back bag aside so that the girl could sit down. She was wearing a dark red summer dress and had bound her hairs together in a knot on her forehead. She seemed to be at Hotaru's age. Maybe a little bit younger. And she was smaller.

"'ai? Does that mean oui? I mean, yes?"

Hotaru blushed. Then she nodded.

"Gomen... I mean, sorry. That's my mother language."

"O, don't worry, guess I'll be t'e same confused during the first weeks." The girl smiled and before Hotaru could react she shook her hand. "Je suis Marie d'Antes." she explained and suddenly her name sounded different. Somehow better. Somehow it fitted better. "Je.. pardon... I am from France. And you?"

Her "you" sounded strange but Hotaru liked it immediately. Just the way she liked the small Frenchwoman next to her. She liked the smile on the slightly redden face and she liked the screaming pink dress Marie wore. It was very short and showed more than just her knees. Surely it would have looked crazy if anyone else would have worn it but for Marie it simply looked perfect.

Maybe it won't be that bad here in that school. Maybe I won't be as alone as I had feared.

"I am Tenô Hotaru and I am from Japan. Nice to meet you, Marie."

Soon the bus started its tour and Marie giggled again. She seemed to giggle a lot and her grin didn't seem to disappear from her face.

"So, t'at's your real name. 'otaru. Sounds better than 'otawu..." she giggled again while she pulled out an old book out of her handbag. Some yellowed pictures fell out and Hotaru was sure that she'd soon know more about the blonde.

"Hai, it sounds better." Hotaru smiled and looked curiously down at an old man with a long beard. He hold a wine glass in his hands.

"That's my grandfat'er. 'e loves wine."

Hotaru nodded and leaned back while she listened to Marie's stories. Feeling at least a little bit happier than she had felt at the airport. She knew that she wouldn't be total alone the following year, but still she felt deep inside an emptiness she knew that wouldn't go that easily. Maybe never.

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"This is your room."

Hotaru nodded as the old woman opened the door and gave her the key. Then she hurried on. There were other pupils who needed to get to know her place where they could stay. Hotaru blinked and gulped. Then she slipped out of her shoes and went barefoot into the room. Room? It was half of an apartment. There was a big room with three beds. To each bed belonged an own cupboard and an own desk. There was another door and as Hotaru opened it she saw a big bathroom. Almost as big as her bathroom at home. It contained a tube and also a shower.

Well, that's what a private school means.

Slowly she went over to the bed which stood right next to one of the big windows that filled the room that looked more like a ball hall. Carefully she put her bags down and opened a part of it. Fresh wind played with her hairs and she closed her eyes while she took a deep breath. Then she leaned forwards and observed how other young people came into the building. A big building. A white building. One of many buildings all around here. There was one for the female students to sleep. Another one for the male students. Another one for the sport lessons. For the biology lessons. For the art lessons. For the other lessons Hotaru didn't know yet. There was surely another hall where they would eat. Maybe a ball hall, too. There were different school yards and there were many green trees spending nice shadows. The whole school was surrounded by a green wall of bushes that was too high to look over it when you was in the school yard. But from where Hotaru stood she could see that the great plains began behind. Wide plains with no end. Endless fields that waited for the second harvest this year. Big meadows with cattle walking sleepy over the soft ground.

It's a complete other land than Japan.

Hotaru swallowed hard as the wind played with the leaves of the trees. They almost sounded like the rushes of the endless sea.

Here's no water. But endless land...

"But I wanna share my room with Caroline and Brenda!" shouted a high, shrill voice as the door was pushed opened. Hotaru raised her head and frowned as a deep blushed girl entered the room which was big enough for three persons and Hotaru knew that her second fellow student just arrived.

Red hairs, almost as red as the other girl's face, swirled through the air as the girl wanted to get back.

"They promised me that I'll stay together with my friends! I won't accept that!" she snapped as the woman who had told her to get into that room only shrugged with her shoulders. She was used to such girls and she didn't pay any more attention as she went away to get the third girl for that room.

"Incredible! To live here in that small room - together with persons I don't know!" the girl stepped around in the room, shortly observing her own bed near the door and shortly looking into the big and comfortable bathroom that was theirs. But for her it seemed to be too small.

This is half a ball hall. What does she complain for?

"And then with someone like you!" the red haired girl shook her head as she looked down at Hotaru with a disgusting look on her face. "What the hell are you? Not even wearing a normal skirt or a dress. And black... where do you come from? From China?" she sighed deeply and shook her head again. She was tall, but not as tall as Hotaru, and she was probably beautiful. She was slim but had well grown breasts she showed under her white summer dress. She wore high heels she seemed to be used to, because she didn't stumble. But something in her green eyes told Hotaru that this girl might be beautiful in her looks but not very beautiful in her character. Nevertheless Hotaru stood up and stretched her hand towards her.

"I am Tenô Hotaru." She said but the red haired girl jumped back as if she had a very serious, infectious illness.

"Tenou? What's that for a crazy name?" she squeaked and grabbed her white hand back and wanted to leave the room. But the woman stood there again. With the third girl right behind her. She only glanced at the red haired girl and crossed her arms before her chest.

"Forget it, Cindy. You'll stay here as the headmaster told me. Go and talk with him, but I am sure that he won't have any time." The woman nodded over to Hotaru who still stood in the middle of the room. She hand clenched her fists and looked a little bit angry.

"And be nice to your fellow students. Or this will be your last year at this school." With those words she left and a very familiar girl stood now on the threshold.

"'otaru!" smiled Marie and carried her own bags into the huge, comfortable room. "Isn't that a chance?"

"Chance? Hah! That's an insult! But I'll tell my father and then I'll get a better room. Be sure!" snapped the red haired girl named Cindy and walked into the bathroom. Slamming the door right behind her. Hotaru only sighed while she went back to her own bed to unpack her bags. Marie only giggled while she headed to the third, still free bed.

"Guess it's going to be funny, 'otaru." She laughed and jumped into the bed to test if it was soft and if she could misuse it for a trampoline. Satisfied she reached for her pillow and throw it over to Hotaru. She was almost knocked over in her bags and a wicked grin appeared on her face as she turned around and threw the pillow back. But it hit Cindy who just came back from the bathroom. The girl went pink again and started angrily to shout.

Hotaru and Marie only exchanged grinning glances before they burst out into laughter.

Maybe it was the right decision.

But still there was something in Hotaru's heart that let her doubt.

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"Tomorrow the real lessons will start." Marie looked around for the sugar and put a lot into her tea. She liked it to eat everything very, very sweet. Often her friends wondered how she could stay so thin when she ate so many sugar, chocolate and other candies. Her friends at home complaint often that they wanted to have her body. To eat as much as they wanted without regretting it afterwards. But the dark haired girl sitting opposite to her on the big table in the big eating hall didn't say anything about her taste. She only smiled and ate her lunch with two small sticks. She ate almost everything with those sticks. Even noodles. Marie didn't know how her friend did that. She tried it for some times during the week they already spent at Abraham Lincoln's school but she failed every time. Often she put the sticks the Japanese girl gave her away and took her fork or her spoon instead to calm down her raging stomach.

Hotaru.

Marie wasn't able to pronounce the H in her new friend's name but Hotaru didn't correct her. She simply accepted it, because Marie didn't do it on purpose. The French girl liked the taller girl immediately. Hotaru was always friendly, helped her when she didn't understand the foreign language. They went together to the library to get books for their new classes they would take part during the next term. Hotaru could be very lively and funny. To throw their pillows through the whole room could be really funny. Because Hotaru often forgot that she was in a foreign country and started to tease her around in Japanese. The way Marie started to reply in French. Often they laughed about it and tried to learn each other the strange language. Gomen for sorry, hai for yes. Non for no and salut for hello. Simple examples but they liked it to use them and to confuse other people.

Only Cindy doesn't like it.

Cindy was the other girl they shared their room with. She was the daughter of a famous politician and thought that she was someone special. That she was someone better than her fellow students and complaint the whole week that she couldn't be in the same room her best friends, Caroline and Brenda, were. But the headmaster was strict. He said that he had his orders and so she had to stay together with the two weirdoes as she called Marie and especially Hotaru the whole time.

Strange, she's so wild sometimes, why doesn't she defend herself when Cindy is so mean to her?

On the whole Hotaru could be very calm. There were moments when she put her headphones over her ears, took a book and disappeared into a world only she knew. She could spent hours this way. Without noticing anything that was going around her.

Maybe that's her way to learn. Or to live with her homesickness.

Marie missed her homeland a lot. Her family. Her friends. But she wanted to become a good vet one day and she knew that this year in this private school would be very good for her and for her future.

Does Hotaru want to become a vet, too? Or a normal doctor? Or an artist?

Somehow the black haired girl didn't tell her yet. But she read a lot of books about illnesses. Especially children's ones. Especially about heart attacks. So that Marie could guess that she wanted to be a children's doctor one day. And that this was her reason for being here.

"Oh, don't worry, Marie. They won't rip off your head." Laughed Hotaru and clicked with her sticks. Marie smiled back and nodded.

"But nevertheless I am nervous about it."

"Hey, you know so much about animals, especially horses, Marie, you can't fail."

"Thanks for your compliment, 'otaru."

At that sentence Hotaru lowered her head and blushed slightly. She continued to eat and didn't look up again.

Strangely, why does she blush when I make a compliment? Isn't she used to it?

Marie frowned but reached again for the sugar. Her tea wasn't sweet enough yet. That was another point Marie didn't understand. Hotaru's family. The dark haired girl knew everything about Marie's family in France. About her grandpa with his wine. About her mother having a farm for horses. About her brother living in south Africa and studying there. But Hotaru didn't say a word about her family. She only put a picture on her desk. It showed her with a blonde man who had put her arms around her shoulders. A little girl of maybe six years with the same blonde hairs grabbed for Hotaru's left hand. She smiled. Just like a beautiful young woman with sea green hairs.

Her parents?

Her sister?

Her family?

Marie couldn't see any similarities. But deep love in dark green and blue eyes.

Maybe she misses them so much that she doesn't want to talk about them yet.

"Hey, you weirdoes!" Cindy passed by. To go to her best friends: Brenda and Caroline who were the as beautiful as the red haired girl. Who had the same dark character.

"O, z'ut up!" snapped Marie and rolled her eyes as Cindy made some jokes about her strange pronunciation. She tried to improve it, but it was so hard. She knew it would take her some more weeks, maybe even weeks until she was able to say the right words with the right pronunciation. But Cindy didn't have the right to make a fool out of her.

"Hey, cloth. Why do you always wear such dark dresses? You look ugly!"

Hotaru didn't look up. She continued to eat her lunch and didn't react.

She's like Akane. She's not important. Not at all.

The red haired girl only laughed wickedly and walked away. Over to two laughing girls. Some teachers looked strict but no one reacted. As long as Hotaru didn't complain or even defend herself no one would react.

"Why don't you tell 'er t'at..." Marie put the sugar determinedly away and wanted to ask Hotaru why she didn't tell Cindy to stop as a older boy, he seemed to be in one of the highest classes, stepped next to them. He hold some letters on his hands and looked asking down at them.

"Hotawu..."

Hotaru rolled her eyes as she heard again the strange words that should be her name and waved her hand.

"Hai, that's me."

The boy nodded and handled her a big envelope. Then he hurried on to give the other letters to the surely waiting students.

"A letter?" Marie put her folk away and leaned over to her new friend. Curiously she looked at the strange signs on the envelope and the neat writing in English. From a person who wasn't used to write in a foreign language.

That's daddy's handwriting...

Hotaru gulped as she simply took her knife and opened the letter.

"Is it from your 'ome?" Marie asked again and leaned even further towards Hotaru. She squinted as she saw the strange signs that covered the sheet and frowned. "Is t'at Japanese? That looks funny."

"Hai, it is..." answered Hotaru and her hands shook slightly while she enfolded the letter. It was a big letter. The biggest she ever got.

"I wish my parents would write t'at soon. But mostly t'ey don't 'ave time or simply not t'e mood. They aren't big writers." Smiled Marie and took her folk again. "Guess they'll send me videos instead. Zowing 'ow my grandpa makes 'is wine."

Marie continued to talk about her family again but this time Hotaru didn't listen. She looked down at the well known writing. Of her daddy and her mommy. They both seemed to have written that letter together. And it seemed as if they fought hard with each other because every one wanted to write the same time the other one wanted. So there were here and there words written by her daddy between her mommy's words and the other way round.

Mommy...

Daddy...

Hotaru gulped again while she read the first letter she got from them. They wrote it the same day she left Japan for the next months. The letter needed one week to make it over the big ocean that separated them now. The big ocean and the wide land called America. Suddenly Hotaru knew that this letter wouldn't be the only letter she would receive from her parents. She wasn't sure if she should be happy about that knowledge. Or really sad...

They wrote that they wanted to take part in the school festival that would take part at Mayumi's school. Miyuki's future school. Hotaru's normal school.

Little darling's school...

Hotaru put her sticks away. Suddenly she didn't have any hunger at all. Too well she remembered how they once had played a game at that school. A theatre game. Peter Pan. Hotaru had been Peter Pan and somehow they decided that Chibiusa should take the part of Wendy.

We had been the perfect couple...

Again Hotaru saw Helios and Chibiusa under the tree. Embracing each other. Surely kissing each other after she ran away.

No, we've never been the perfect couple. But they are. Now...

Hotaru shook her head and stood up with a sudden. Her chair shook but didn't crash as she simply turned around and left the hall as quickly as she could. Not hearing Marie's asking words. She only wanted to be alone. To remember why she left Japan so quickly. Why she decided to spent this year in the United States and not in Tokyo or Kyoto.

I wonder what they'll do this year on the school festival.

Hotaru ran over the school yard, feeling the wind playing with her shoulder long hairs. Feeling tears burning in her eyes.

I wonder if it had been the right decision.

She reached her room and locked herself as she recognized that Cindy wasn't around. She put her headphones over her ears and listened again to the soft piano music that soon filled her world.

Wonder if I'll ever be able to forget her. To bury my love for her. To return with less pain in my heart.

One day...

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"Will your mother come this year?"

"Oh, surely not. She has never time."

"Do you have a mother?"

"Or are you an orphan?"

"Hai, always your crazy aunt and uncle come. With that other girl."

"Hai."

"Surely you don't even have proper parents."

She shook her head and tried to put her hands over her ears.

"Of course I have a mommy." Tears sparkled in her eyes. Why were her fellow pupils so mean? Why weren't they her friends? Why did they have to torture her that much? "Of course..."

"And a daddy? Do you have a daddy?"

"Daddy?" Her blue eyes grew wide and she wondered for a brief moment what they meant. Then she remembered her best friend's parents. The person she called so loving daddy. At that moment she knew that she had such a daddy, too.

"Of course I have a daddy!" she cried and wanted to escape. But they didn't want to let her go. They laughed so wicked, held her tight. She didn't want to look at them again. Never again. She only wanted to run away. To hide in those soft arms that belonged to the person who surely was her daddy. Who loved her the way her mommy loved her. Who was always there for her.

"Then prove it this year. Prove it tomorrow!"

Mayumi only nodded.

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"Next year I'll go to that school, too." Declared Miyuki and there was pride in her voice. She sat on her daddy's shoulders and showed over to the white school building as they entered the school yard. It was Saturday and it was a bright autumn day. The sun was shinning from a cloudless sky and the trees sparkled in all colours of this season: Brown, a dark green, red and yellow. Many people and children were all around the school and inside. It was a great event for the school and of course Haruka and Michiru visited it, too. Not only because it was the school Hotaru took part at and not only because it was the future school of their younger daughter, but because of May-chan who begged them a week ago to come. Not only them but also Minako and of course her mother, Ami. Ami, the young doctor who didn't have any time this year, too.

Still Mayumi didn't know about that. Ami called them up just half an hour ago that there was an emergency and that she couldn't leave the hospital in time. That she tried it to come to her daughter's school festival but that she couldn't guarantee it.

Minako only growled that her daughter wasn't an emergency, put on her best summer dress and followed them. Still very angry about her best friend.

School festival...

Haruka looked around at all the young children running around and sighed slightly. She could remember too well another school festival. With an very excited little Hotaru. Who had played in the school theatre. The main role. Together with Chibiusa. As Peter Pan and Wendy.

They did such a great job. The whole school talked the next weeks only about that performance.

But this year there was no dark haired girl around. This year she was missing. This year Haruka felt strangely empty and sad. Not even Yuki-chan sitting on her shoulders could cheer her up.

It's not only today.

Haruka remembered to well all those moments the past weeks when she missed her Himme-chan. Almost every Sunday morning she made fresh rolls and more than once she stumbled with a plate on her hands in Hotaru's room to wake her up. Just to stare for a long time disappointed at the empty bed, suddenly remembering again that her daughter wasn't at home. That she was far, far away.

Too far.

More than once Haruka called up the girls when she wanted to out with them. To the cinema. To eat an ice cream. Just to go along the beach. Playing with a soft ball. Sometimes together with Michiru. Sometimes together with Minako. Sometimes alone with them. More than once she had not only called for May-chan and Yuki-chan but also for Himme-chan. Impatiently she had opened the door to remember Hotaru that they wouldn't wait the whole day for her as she remembered again that her daughter wasn't around. That she wouldn't come with them to that crazy anime they showed at cinema.

I am not the only one missing her.

Haruka looked over to Michiru who smiled at a little boy who wanted to sell her some of his self made cookies. She was a little bit pale, too. And as tired as Haruka. Not only once Michiru made Hotaru's favourite food. Just to remember when it was ready that Hotaru wouldn't eat it. More than once she bought a nice dark dress she was sure that her older daughter would like it. Just to look into the empty room and knowing that she would need to send it if Hotaru should wear it this year.

We're all crazy about her.

Neither Haruka nor Michiru did let the other notice it. Especially not Yuki-chan who missed her big sister even more than her parents did. Often she sat in the evening at the living-room table. The card play next to her. Normally May-chan could cheer her up and play with her. But there were also some evening when Yuki-chan simply started to cry and declared that she only wanted to play with her sister.

We shouldn't be so selfish. Surely she's happy in America. Surely she found new friends there. Surely she enjoys the lessons there and the foreign language.

Haruka sighed slightly and smiled up at her daughter as Yuki-chan pulled on her hairs and behaved as if her daddy was a big, lively horse.

But she didn't write one letter until now.

"I can't wait to go to school." Declared Miyuki and made an important face. Then she showed over to the stone building and explained what Hotaru and Chibiusa already told her about that old but very popular school. "I wanna learn to write so that I can write Hotaru a letter." Suddenly her voice was sad and Haruka tickled her a bit to see her laugh again.

Almost three weeks now and no letter from her so far. Didn't she have any time? Is the American post so lazy? Or am I simply too impatient?

"I am going to kill her. I am sure that this evening I'll kill her." Growled Minako and looked angrily on her own feet. The whole day her mood wasn't the best and the longer she saw all the happy children around she got more and more angry about the young doctor. Haruka was intelligent enough not to say word. This wasn't her business. All she could do was to go to that school festival and to cheer May-chan up.

"Those cookies are delicious." Giggled Michiru and the next moment Haruka's mouth was full with something that tasted like chocolate. Yuki-chan opened her mouth begging and smacked as her mommy gave her some, too.

"The little boy sold them. But I am sure that his mother helped him to make them. He looks too young to make them all alone. Or he has a skill full granny."

"Oh, Michi-chan, remember all those school festivals when my mommy had to bake cookies for us." Smiled Haruka in memory and gave her daughter another cookie.

"Hai. And everyone was afraid of being poisoned when they got to know who sold them. Until I told them that your mommy and I made them."

"I still don't understand why they were so afraid of my cooking."

"Oh, they simply didn't want to end in hospital."

"Maybe you're right, Michi-chan."

They both laughed while Minako got more and more angry from second to second. She clenched her fists. Still she didn't see a sign of her best friend's daughter.

Of course it's again my task to tell her that her busy mother doesn't have time for her one and only child!

She heard Haruka and Michiru laugh and to tease Yuki-chan around.

They're better parents! Even if they have their own obligations! Even if they still do concerts or car races, they're always there for their children! And for the children of the others! But Ami... she NEVER has any time!

"What do you want to do first, Yuki-chan?"

"I've heard that they want to give a new play this year. About a prince who falls in love with a beautiful princess. But he's a beast and so he's afraid of her and..." started Yuki-chan to tell her parents with shimmering eyes.

I wish I could see May-chan the same happy... today...

"I guess I am looking for my little honey." Without another word Minako grabbed her long skirt and swirled around. Disappeared out of sight between all the other people. Parents, children, sisters, brothers, grandparents. All were happy. All laughed and talked and ate. All were pleased that the weather was so nice. Bright sunshine from an cloudless sky. The whole school seemed to be covered with a coloured dress because of all the tress standing around. There were little shops outside and inside the building. And there was the big stage near the entrance door. Where they would surely performance the play.

Beauty and beast.

Minako remembered a time when she liked that story a lot, too. When they performed it at school, too. With Usagi as a very, very clumsy beauty and Rei as a very, very impatient beast. Minako played that candle. Of course everything should look real and she almost burned her hairs in the flames.

Ami didn't want to play a part.

The silent senshi wrote the script and learned hard with them until even Usagi remembered her lines. It had been a great success. The whole school liked their performance a lot and Makoto as crazy inventor and father of Usagi beat them all.

Minako stopped for some seconds in front of the stage and looked thoughtful up to the coloured paper, surely representing the prince's shinning castle.

I wish those times would have never passed by.

Too well Minako remembered their happy days back at school. With Usagi forgetting more than once her homework. Almost every morning Minako didn't hear her alarm clock and often Usagi and she stood in the corridor, with a bucket full water in their hands. Chatting the whole time. Chatting and laughing. Again the love senshi saw Ami's serious face before her eyes. Whenever she told them that they should learn. That they shouldn't make fun out of their punishment. But the same time she had shared her lunch with them who stood for the whole break on the corridor again, because they couldn't answer a simple question during class.

My Ami-chan...

Almost every evening they spent in Rei's temple to learn for hard tests. To go pass those hard exams. To go together to the same school. To the same class. And later on even to the same university. It had always been Ami who forced them to learn. Who explained it again and again. Even to Minako who already understood the meaning but wanted to spent more time with the water senshi. Who spent long nights at the Mizuno's home. To learn some English vocabulary but secretly only wanting to be together with her Ami. To listen to her. To watch her making tea. To touch her hand time by time.

Where have all those days gone?

Now Ami was a successful doctor. A busy doctor. And a mommy. Minako gulped and squinted as she looked right into the sun. Ami lost all her dreams during her studies. Sure she became a doctor but somehow... somehow it was different now. The water senshi used to talk about her profession with sparkling eyes. For her it had been vocation. And now? Now she was tired when she came home. She was often sad when she couldn't help a child the way she wanted to. She didn't believe in miracles any longer. As she didn't believe in love any longer.

May-chan's father must have hurt her a lot.

Minako was very curious but she gave up some years ago. Ami didn't want to say anything about her daughter's father. Whenever she was asked she said that she loved May-chan and that she was happy to have her. But that was all. Never a nice word, not even a bad word about him. The man who left her pregnant. Who obviously ran away from the responsibility. Probably Ami didn't even know where he was right now. Surly she wasn't even interested in him any longer.

Minako remembered too well how shocked she had been when Ami confessed them that she awaited a child. Of course Usagi and the other had been crazy and congratulated her. Haruka and Michiru offered her all the help they could give and even more. Only Minako kept very silent that day. Because for her a whole world broke apart. Ami was pregnant - which meant that she had have a lover. A male lover. That there would never be a chance for them to live a life together. That very day Minako's greatest dream died. And silently she decided that she would be there for Ami and her child. For all times. As best friend. If she couldn't do it as lover and parent.

Better this way than being pushed away.

Minako blinked and sighed deeply.

Is it really better?

"Is that your mommy?"

"I can't believe that she actually appeared."

"Hai, after she missed all the other festivals."

"Hai."

"Then you aren't a liar, Mayumi."

"I am happy for you. She looks beautiful, Mayumi."

Minako frowned and turned around as she heard different excited children's voices. And stared directly into tear filled blue eyes. As blue as a young doctor's eyes. There was a confused expression on Mayumi's face. A searching one. And a real sad one as she understood that her mother wasn't here. As she was away every year.

"So, you're Mayumi's mother? I am pleased to meet you." Suddenly a young woman, maybe only one or two years older than Minako, stepped before her and shook her hand. "I am your daughter's teacher. I am Yakoo and you have a really nice daughter."

For some seconds Minako didn't know what to reply. She only frowned and shook May-chan's teacher's hand in return. Still staring into tear filled eyes. Seeing the silent beg in them.

I'll always be there for you, little honey.

Again she remembered that day over nine years ago now. When she was in hospital with a hard breathing Ami who laid in labour pains. Haruka and Michiru brought them in hospital but they weren't family and had to wait outside. Minako wasn't family either but Ami insisted that she had to come with her. That she wouldn't survive that birth all alone. That she only had the Sailor Team, because Ami's father was far away, somewhere in Europe or even in Africa. And Mizuno-san, Ami's mother, died shortly before she left school. So there had only been Minako, her best friend since that day she discovered that she was a senshi, there for her. That very day after another long hour a little girl was born. Minako would never forget that moment when she first held that little bundle in her shaking arms. A little girl that looked like Ami: with blue eyes and fluffy, blue hairs. The most beautiful child Minako had ever seen before in her life.

I love you, little one. I love you the way your mommy does. Even if Ami will never understand.

But one look into those blue eyes told Minako that May-chan did.

"Hai, I am very proud of her." Said Minako and went over to her best friend's daughter and embraced her. "I am sorry that I couldn't come earlier, little honey, but aunt Michiru simply couldn't decide which dress she should take." She giggled and felt how the little girl embraced her, too.

"No problem, mommy." Whispered May-chan and Minako gulped. She didn't know what to respond. So she only held the girl she loved like a daughter tighter while the teacher gave some last instructions about the play.

"Mizuno-san?"

At last they separated and now May-chan smiled happily. There were no tears left in her eyes. Only joy.

"Hai?"

"Could you please be so kind and help us? One of the costume isn't ready yet and a girl forgot her crown." Asked the teacher who looked very busy, now. It was her task to make this performance unforgettable for the pupils. And she was very hectic to make it successful.

"No problem." Minako took automatically May-chan's hand and together they went over to the group of excited looking children. "I am very good in performances."

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"That's delicious." Wind played with blonde hairs and blue eyes sparkled satisfied. "That's the best chocolate cake I ever ate." The queen smiled with a brown mouth at her daughter who didn't smile back.

"Hai, because you didn't make it. Aunt Makoto made it." Snapped Chibiusa and went back behind the table to serve another parents. It was her task together with some other pupils to ran the café inside the building. They were allowed to use the school's kitchen and of course Makoto seemed to be every where. She took care for the coffee, for the tea, for the milk. For the cakes and the cookies. For the pies. For dirtied tables and for guests who came to eat and to drink a little bit. Her brown eyes sparkled and the famous cook was in her element. The principal thanked her more than once that she offered her help - for free. She only shook her head and said that this was the school she went to in her childhood. That it was naturally to help. Giggling she declared that the perpetrator always returned back to the scene of crime.

"You always make the best cakes, Mako-chan." Smiled the queen, ignoring her daughter's rough behaviour. Since Hotaru went to America Chibiusa behaved that way. Usagi was sure that her daughter simply missed her best friend and let her in peace. She remembered too well the time her husband had spent one year in the United States, too. To study. And how sad she had been.

"Arigato, Usagi." Beamed Makoto and clapped in her hands as she saw the next guests entering the kitchen. The windows were wide opened and everywhere where flowers on the tables. It looked the ways she wanted it and she was simply happy.

"Hi Kakyuu, hi Sejya." Makoto came nearer and stroke over fluffy dark hairs. "Hi, little Tami-chan." She whispered and her smile grew wide as little hands grabbed for brown stands.

"Hello. What are you doing here? Already choosing for your son's future school?" teased Mamoru as they sat down.

"Maybe." Laughed Kakyuu and held her child a little bit tighter. Tamahoe grabbed now for her red strands and looked like the happiest baby on earth. His father tickled him a little bit and he laughed out loud.

"May-chan told us that she'll play the bad guy in "Beauty and the beast" that starts in about half an hour. Of course we don't want to miss it." Declared Sejya and thanked Makoto as she gave him his cup of coffee. Since the birth of his son he didn't sleep much at night and was tired all day. A coffee was the best for him so shortly before the lunch.

"Oh, that's only one reason. I am sure you want to argue again with Haruka." Kakyuu smiled knowing as she saw her husband's darkened face. Then she leaned forward and kissed his cheek and begged him silently for forgiveness. Sejya grinned and kissed her back.

"Don't you want to give your guests a cake, too?" asked Usagi and Chibiusa rolled her eyes. The next moment the queen was holding a tea towel in her hands and stared surprised into raging pink eyes.

"If that's so important for you, then do it yourself! I am fed up!" she screamed suddenly and turned around and ran away. Usagi raised asking her eyebrows but Mamoru only shook his head. He felt that his daughter wanted to be alone and that they should accept that.

They're all bakas!

Chibiusa jumped downstairs and ran out into the schoolyard. She only wanted to leave this school. To go to her secret place near the beach and to sit down. To forget her nightmares. To forget the pain inside her heart. To forget how disappointed she was. They all reacted as if nothing happened. They all behaved as if it was normal that one part of their family was so damn far, far away. They all were so blind!

Taru went away and they all do as if that's normal!

Chibiusa clenched her fists and simply ran outside the school yard. Right over the street. Her head bowed. She didn't want to see anyone any longer.

Why did she chose that private school?

It was a question no one seemed to be able to answer her. A question no one seemed to ask.

Why did she go from one day to another to America?

Chibiusa felt tears burning in her eyes. Again. She cried a lot the past weeks. Mostly because of anger and disappointment. Hotaru and she had shared everything in their childhood. Every secret, every thought. It wasn't Hotaru's behaviour to disappear from one day to another. To go away - without saying her best friend a word that she was about to leave for such a long time.

Is she still my best friend?

There was no letter. Not even a single, a short one telling Chibiusa how Hotaru lived in America. If she found any friends there. How she liked the lessons there. If she was able to learn something that would make a great doctor out of her one day.

Not even a post card showing me something of that big land beyond the big ocean...

Chibiusa felt rejected and alone. Misunderstood. Not even her parents could help her. And the longer Hotaru was away, the longer she was alone in Japan without any sign from her so called best friend she felt angrier and angrier.

When she'll come home I'll kick right into her ass.

Chibiusa felt the first tears running down her cheeks. She knew too well that she wouldn't beat Hotaru. She would embrace her and hold her tight. And tell her that she had missed her best friend.

Taru, I want you to be here. Not there!

"Little one?"

She winced hard as someone grabbed softly her right arm and pulled her around. Shortly she looked into Helios' face and swallowed hard.

"Hey, today's the school festival. Why aren't you there? May-chan's performance starts every moment." Helios smiled understanding at her and took her hand and slowly guided her back to school. He was the only one who could handle her these days and he knew it. Whenever she freaked out, whenever she yelled at other people, he was the one who could calm her down. Who could still talk to her. Who could be her best friend. Although he wasn't like Hotaru. Not at all.

Taru, I miss you so much.

"Come on, Chibiusa, let's go back. Surely mommy and daddy are already waiting for us."

Chibiusa nodded and simply followed him. Still feeling deeply hurt inside herself.

"Maybe you should write her a letter. I am sure she'll answer you, Chibiusa." Smiled Helios while they passed the big door that guided them into the school yard.

"Maybe..." The princess didn't ask if Helios could read her mind. But that idea didn't let her go during the whole afternoon. And for the first time in her life always lively and chatting Chibiusa didn't know what to write.

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"Auntie Michiru and Haruka are already at home." Declared Minako as she and May-chan walked along the bending road near the beach. Michiru got a bad headache and so they decided to go home earlier. Of course Minako had her phone and Haruka would have driven them home whenever she would have called her up. But May-chan looked happy and Minako wanted this afternoon never to end.

"That's fine. I love it here near the beach." May-chan ran a little bit. Then she returned and grabbed Minako's hand again. For a long time they walked silently next to each other. Each of them thinking her own thoughts. Remembering their own personal memories of this day.

"It was great how you saved the dress of Lina-chan. Her mommy is ill and so she couldn't finish it in time." There was proud in May-chan's voice and suddenly Minako felt herself like an important hero. So really happy she had never felt in her life before. "And how you helped Hashitzou to remember his lines. They all liked you. That was great." The girl smiled satisfied and looked out to the sea. The sun was slowly setting and covered the whole beach in a warm red light.

"You was the best bad guy I've ever seen. Garcon who wanted to kill the beast." Minako squeezed the little hand that laid trustfully in her own on slightly. "All people liked your performance a lot. I am sure your teacher was the happiest teacher on this world."

There was silence for another while.

"Auntie Mina?" asked Mayumi after another long time and blushed slightly.

"Hai?"

"Arigato." Whispered the girl and stroke some strands of her long, blue hairs behind her ears. "Arigato that you behaved today like my mommy. I mean... I know that she never has time and that she has a very important job... but... I mean..."

Minako blinked. Then she pulled the girl in her arms and stroke tenderly over blue strands.

"You know that your mommy loves you." She whispered and kissed a burning forehead. "And I love you, too, my little honey."

Mayumi smiled and embraced her in return.

"I know, Mina-mommy. I know."

Mina-mommy.

Minako gulped hard. It was the greatest praise she ever received in her life. This honour was greater than every price she got with her music. With her movies. With her powers as a Sailor senshi.

She called me mommy.

That thought warmed her heart and suddenly tears burned in her eyes as well.

"Mina, May-chan."

They separated as they heard the tired, exhausted voice behind them. A young woman came running towards them. She held a black bag tight in her arms and looked like someone who worked the whole day Who worked a little bit too long.

"I am so sorry, my darling." Ami embraced her daughter. "But there was a little boy who gulped a marble and he almost died. I simply couldn't go."

"Don't worry, mommy. Mina helped me with the performance and everyone liked it a lot." Said May-chan and grabbed her mommy's right hand. Shortly Ami and Minako exchanged glances. Ami shrugged helpless her shoulders while Minako smiled defeated. She knew that she would never be able to be angry with her Ami. But she knew that she would care that the young doctor got enough sleep the next night, enough to eat for breakfast and that she wouldn't go to work on Sunday when she would have free. That she would do something with her daughter. To make it up for today.

"And Yuki-chan told me afterwards that she liked the monster better than the prince..." May-chan chuckled and grabbed Mina's left hand. Slowly they went along the beach while the girl talked the whole time. Telling her real mommy what happened the whole day at the school festival. And saying more than once that her other mommy helped her a lot.

The sun set and in it's red light they looked like a small, happy family.

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Michiru crept under the blanket and felt how her wife embraced her. For a long time they shared a loving kiss.

"Good night, honey." Whispered Michiru and cuddled deeper into her lover's strong arms. "It had been a great day and I am happy that May-chan had so much fun."

"Hai." Haruka gulped and stroke loving through sea green strands. For a long time they lied there in silence. Didn't dare to say a word. To say aloud what moved their hearts.

"Someone's missing." Admitted Michiru very quietly after another long time they watched the ceiling. Unable to find any sleep.

"Hai." Was all Haruka replied before she pulled her Michi-chan tighter and buried her face in those sea green curls. "Hai..."

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"Your mother is really a great person."

"Hai, how she repaired the costume."

"And how she helped Hashitzou to remember his lines."

"Hai, she was even as excited as teacher Yakoo about our performance."

"She looked so proud of you."

"I am sure she loves you a lot."

The little girl smiled proudly at her friends and the other pupils and nodded happily.

"Hai, and I love her a lot, too." She said and was hugged by another girl who looked at her begging with her big brown eyes.

"She did so many photos. Please, bring them with you when they're ready, okay, May-chan?"

Mayumi laughed and nodded.

"I am sorry that I called you a liar. You mother is simply wonderful. Can we be friends, Mayumi-chan?"

The girl nodded again and her blue hairs fell over her shoulders as she shook different hands, looked into different smiling faces.

I love my Mina-mommy the same way I love my mommy.

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Swimming...

Hotaru looked into the pure water and saw her pale reflection. She wore her dark swimming suit and had put her hairs together in a knot in her neck. Carefully she touched the surface which started to shook. The water was pleasant warm.

"Are you able to swim, Hotawu?" laughed Cindy and pushed her as she passed by. Hotaru almost lost her balance but could hold herself back in the last moment. She didn't want to jump into the water before the teacher didn't allow it. Before the teacher didn't tell her what she was allowed to do after she read her doctor's report.

The tall girl turned her head and saw how Cindy who wore a white bikini walked over to her best friends and started excitedly to chat with them.

The tower.

Hotaru gulped and looked up to the tower. It was very high. Almost as high as the big swimming hall. Swimming was kind of a national sport for this state of America and it was duty for all students to attempt some hours of their sport lessons here. For Hotaru it were the only hours. She wasn't allowed to do more than two lessons in sport per week.

The tower.

Again she heard the yelling of the people. Again she saw her parents standing at the rim of the swimming pool, staring up to her with sparkling eyes. So proud looking faces. Again she heard the soft violin music in her ears. Again she felt the excitement in her body, in her soul. Again she felt how she flew. Right through the air. How she dove into the fresh water. How she turned from a strong eagle into a quick dolphin.

Until that day two years ago...

"'ello, 'otaru." Marie went on her knees next to her and grinned brightly at her, touching the surface, too. "O, t'at's cold." She said and looked with frightened eyes over to the tower. She wasn't very keen on swimming as she confessed to her new friend. But she loved riding. The rest of her sport hours she wanted to spend on a farm near the Lincoln's school. Where they had a lot of horses. Hotaru admired her silently because she didn't know how to ride nor was she very keen on being dependent by such a big, strong animal.

"'ope we don't 'ave to jump." Whispered Marie and gulped as the teacher, a young but very energetic looking woman with short, brown hairs appeared.

"Hotaru?" she asked and the tall girl raised surprised her eyebrows. It was the first time that someone besides Marie who only had some problems with the H pronounced her name the right way.

"Hai?" Hotaru blushed and went over to the teacher. Ignoring the whispers that went through the other pupils staying next to the rim, too. "Yes, Miss Lisa?" It was normal that the pupils called their teachers by their first names. It was kind of a spirit on this school. They believed that teachers and pupils could get better friends by doing so. Hotaru didn't mind. She only couldn't leave the Miss aside. And after she explained most of the teachers that this was Japanese traditions they let her do so. As long as she used the first name.

"I read the report." There was something in teacher Lisa's eyes Hotaru didn't like at all. It was sympathy and a little bit of sorrow. A mixture the tall girl couldn't bare any longer. She had seen it too often during the past two years. Especially during the months she had to spent in hospital.

"I think it's the best for you to swim a little bit in the pool while we do our lessons. Take a swimming ring and stop whenever you feel tired, okay, Hotaru?"

"Hai... I mean, yes, Miss Lisa."

Another pity smile and the teacher concentrated on the other students. Of course they all had to jump from the tower. But not from the highest level, but from the lowest one. Hotaru saw how Marie got pale and wished her silently luck while she took the swimming ring and glided slowly into the water. It was the worst humiliation in her young sport life. But she knew that it wasn't teacher Lisa's fault. She only did what the doctor told her. She only wanted her pupils to be healthy and happy. Although Hotaru knew that she would never be happy again. Not in the water which gave her so much during the first fourteen years of her life. Which took so much away from her during the past two years.

"That's unfair." Shouted Cindy suddenly through the whole swimming hall. "Why does that spoiled brat only crawl in the water while I have to jump from the tower? I don't want to jump! And she only watches us so lazily!" Cindy's face was red dark and she looked really, really angry.

"Cindy, do what you're told. Hotaru has her reasons." Declared teacher Lisa in a strict voice and showed Marie that she was the next to jump.

"But that's unfair, Lisa! I want to swim, too. Not to jump. Why is she treated different? She isn't anyone special! She's only an exchange student from Japan. Or is it normal for Japanese people to hide before the big tasks? Are they all cowards?"

"Cindy!"

"Z'ut up, silly one!" now Marie looked very angry, too.

"But it's right. If she doesn't jump, she's a coward!"

"Cindy!"

Hotaru rolled her eyes and slowly swam over to the rim. She put the swimming ring down, grabbed her towel and without looking back she left the swimming hall. Feeling already exhausted. Knowing that it was high time for her to take her daily medicine.

Coward! Me!

Tears burned in her eyes while she changed her clothes and grabbed her book about medical incidents she wanted to read the whole day. To be prepared for the next biology lesson they would have in two days.

Coward?

Hotaru trembled as she grabbed her bag and went out into the burning sun shinning from an endless sky. Shortly she looked around and sat down under a huge tree. Her most favourite place. Mostly Marie joined her and talked the whole time.

Coward?

The tall girl opened her book and stared blind at the lines and the pictures.

I've been the junior champion of Japan in high diving!

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"T'at's simply not my sport."

Half an hour later Marie sat down next to her. Her hairs were still wet and her face was still unnatural pale. But there was already a bright grin on her face.

"I am more a trick rider. T'at tower is simply too 'igh for me." She reached for Hotaru and messed her hairs. "And don't you dare to 'ear of w'at t'at stupid girl says, 'otaru. Maybe you aren't allowed to jump, but you 'ave ot'er qualities."

Marie bowed over Hotaru's shoulder and read for some seconds silently what her best friend read.

"Can you 'elp me?" she asked and pointed at a picture inside the book. "I never understood t'at."

Hotaru only nodded and started to speak. Grateful that Marie wanted to cheer her up. Thankful that the other girl gave her the feeling that she was still needed.

But nevertheless still sad about things that once had been. That would never return again.

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"Is there anything you don't know?" Cindy looked annoyed as a deeply blushed Hotaru went back to her seat in class. The teacher wrote down the good mark for the dark haired pupil in his little, red book and turned towards the table. To explain something more to the picture Hotaru just drew on the green underground.

"You're a grind. A spoiled brat and a damn grind!" snapped Cindy and tried to let her stumble over her leg. But Hotaru reacted faster and jumped over the red shoe of the other girl. "Guess you think that you're someone very special."

No, but you do, you daughter of a politician.

But Hotaru was intelligent enough not to react. She didn't want to cause trouble or even a fight. And especially not during the lesson. The biology teacher was very, very good. He knew what he taught. But he was very, very strict. He was known that he had no mercy with students who disturbed his sacred lessons.

"Grind!" spat Cindy as Hotaru sat down behind her. Marie only grinned and showed her best friend her thumbs. To signalise her that she did a really good job. Better than the French girl would have had been. Although Hotaru often doubted that Marie wasn't even better. Marie was very interested in animals, Hotaru in humans. So they often complement each other when they had to learn for important tests. Until now they only got good marks.

One month now.

Hotaru took her biology book and pulled a crumbled letter out behind the cover. It was now almost every day that she got a letter from home. Mostly from her parents. But time by time by her aunts and her uncles, too. Sejya and Minako sent her a new CD they recorded just two weeks ago. Makoto sent her a chocolate bar she invented. Yuki-chan and May-chan drew a picture of the performance during the school festival. And Rei sent her some talismans against bad spirits together with a very long and very funny letter.

Mommy.

Daddy.

Hotaru enfolded the letter and looked for a long time on the photo they sent yesterday. It showed Haruka with Yuki-chan on her shoulders. Michiru stood next to them and fed them with what looked like chocolate cookies. Minako had wrapped her arms around a costumed May-chan. They both looked very proud and happy, too.

A picture of the school festival.

Hotaru got a lot of them and of course Marie wanted to see them all. And wanted some explanations of those persons. Of all the many persons. With sparkling eyes she declared Hotaru that it sounded great to have such a big family.

Hai, it's great.

There were other pictures, too. With the queen and the king sitting in the school's kitchen together with Sejya and Kakyuu who played with a laughing Tamahoe. Makoto balanced her delicious cakes and Usagi's mouth was brown while she stared greedy at the next pie. Then there was another picture of Rei sitting in a tent. Seeing for the children in the future and giving them candies. Only aunt Ami was missing. As every year. Because of an emergency.

One day she'll learn that there're other doctors around. That she can go home and that they'll take care for her patients during the meantime.

And someone else was missing, too. There was not a single picture of Chibiusa. Not even the slightest hint.

Didn't she take part in the festival? Has she been ill?

Hotaru felt how panic and fear rose inside her chest. No one wrote her that Chibiusa was ill. But alone the idea that her little darling could lie with fever in her bed made her feel miserable. Because she wasn't around to take care for her.

She has Helios to take care for her!

Hotaru took the letter away and sighed deeply. It was now four weeks that she left Japan and she didn't get a letter from her best friend. Not even a single, a very short letter. Not even a note in the other letters that Chibiusa wanted to say hello.

Maybe she isn't my best friend any longer?

Hotaru gulped and kept sitting while the school bell rang and all other pupils jumped from their seats to get their bags and to go into their spare time. To do their hobbies or to learn. Or simply to lay lazily around and to chat with their friends.

Surely she has no time because she spends all her time with Helios.

"'otaru? Do you want to come wit' me? To t'e 'orse farm? I am sure t'at Kevin 'as anot'er 'orse for you, too." Smiled Marie while she packed her bag, too.

Kevin.

That was a boy who went to this school, too. He was one year older than they and he owned two of the farm's horses. His parents lead the farm and Marie was obviously in love with his white mare called Sarah. And the longer Marie talked about this Kevin Hotaru was sure that the French girl liked the boy a lot, too. Not only because he was as crazy about horses as she was.

"No, thanks, Marie. I think I'd prefer to learn instead." Smiled Hotaru back although she felt still very sad. And alone. But it wouldn't help to go with Marie. Hotaru was afraid of those big animals and she didn't want to blame herself or even Marie before that Kevin.

"Okay, do w'at you want, 'otaru. We'll see at supper."

"Hai, have a nice afternoon and give Sarah a carrot from me."

"Oui, I will, 'otaru." Marie laughed and ran quickly out of the now empty room. Hotaru only sighed and took her books and her bag. Still wondering if she should write Chibiusa a letter instead. Telling her how she lived here in America. Telling her what she learned during the past four weeks. Telling her about Marie and the horses and Kevin. But then she decided against. Surely Chibiusa was too busy to read them. Surely Chibiusa didn't even miss her.

Are you so sure about that?

Hotaru ignored her inner voice while she stepped out in the bright sunshine.

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She sat on her bed already wearing her pyjama. The window was closed, it got colder with every day. Now it was the middle of October and the nights could be really chilly. She didn't want to freeze. The radio was on but she didn't listen to the lyrics nor to the melody at all. She held a toy puppy in her arms and sighed deeply. A frame laid before her on the soft blanket. An old picture that was already yellowed. It showed two young girls embracing each other. A dark haired girl made a funny face while the younger one with pink hairs laughed innocently. Not knowing that her best friend made jokes behind her back.

Normally that picture always cheered her up. But today wasn't normal. No day was normal since the black haired girl went away. Six weeks ago.

I miss you, Taru.

Chibiusa took a deep breath, put the puppy - the best birthday present she ever got - away and stood up. With shaking hands she put the frame back to its place on the desk. Right next to her grammar book. She knew that she had to do homework for tomorrow, but she was simply not in the mood for it. She simply couldn't concentrate.

Six weeks now and still no sign.

Although Haruka and Michiru wrote a letter almost every day and the others wrote some letters, too, Hotaru simply didn't react. She didn't answer one single letter. She didn't call them up. Not even a post card showing some sights of America. Nothing. As if Hotaru disappeared into nothing. Only a letter once a week from Hotaru's teacher told them that the girl was fine. That she improved a lot and that she had good marks. That she did very well in America and that the teacher congratulated Haruka and Michiru often that they had such a smart, intelligent daughter who was really interested in becoming a doctor one day. And that she would surely do fantastic in the practice term from January until the end of the school year in one of the famous hospitals there.

She simply forgot us.

Chibiusa blinked as tears filled her eyes.

She simply forgot me...

Again she remembered all those times she had been happy with her best friend. All those times they raced with their bikes along the beach. Every time Chibiusa won and Hotaru gave her an ice cream Chibiusa liked so much.

She only let me win. The whole time she only let me win because I mostly wasted all my pocket money...

Chibiusa stepped to the window and stared out to the half moon shinning over Crystal Tokyo.

Why did you go to America? Without telling me a word? Simply disappearing into nothing? Without letting your parents know that you're fine in the big country beyond the huge ocean?

The princess clenched her fists.

What is the reason you didn't want to go to Tokyo or Kyoto? What made you leave in a land so far, far away? What did you dispel from your home?

Chibiusa knew that it weren't Hotaru's parents. Haruka and Michiru loved Hotaru with all her heart and they would have never pushed her away. Hotaru was their daughter. The same way Yuki-chan was it. Hotaru belonged to them and she had always felt that. It wasn't the rest of the big, lively family. They all liked Hotaru and they all wrote like crazy letters because they all missed her.

Your fellow students? Akane?

But Chibiusa knew that Hotaru was intelligent enough not to run away just because one single girl didn't like her. Chibiusa smiled slightly as she remembered how she wanted to beat Akane. She had been 9 years old and watched how Akane dared to yell at her Hotaru. One second later Hotaru had to use all her force to hold a raging Chibiusa back.

I really wanted to kick Akane's ass.

But Hotaru had known that Akane was stronger than the little princess. And that she would have dared to hurt little Chibiusa.

She has always been there whenever I had been in trouble.

More than once Hotaru went to the Crystal Palace with a crying Chibiusa at her hand. To tell the queen and the king what happened and that they shouldn't be angry with their daughter. That the teacher was simply stupid. That the maths exam simply had been too hard for the little princess. That it wasn't Chibiusa's fault that her bike broke and that they should be happy that Chibiusa was fine. That someone stole Chibiusa's pocket money. That the princess of Crystal Tokyo lost her umbrella. That she fell down and hurt her knee.

She has always been there.

Chibiusa gulped and went over to the cage standing on her room's floor. Her brown guinea pig squeaked and hoped for another piece of salad. Without thinking Chibiusa bowed down and handled it a little bit salad and stroke the velvet fur.

And where is she now?

"Still no idea what do write?" Helios came into her room after he knocked shortly at the door. He already wore his light blue pyjama and looked sleepy. He bowed and petted the little piggy, too. It squeaked happily for all this attention and bite carefully into his thumb.

"No. And I won't write. It's now six weeks and she's too lazy to write even her parents back. She won't write back to me." Declared Chibiusa and looked suddenly very stubborn.

"Hey, little one, as long as you don't write you'll terrorise the whole family. I know you. You're angry and disappointed, but, hey, she's still your best friend. You should be more forgivable." Smiled Helios and embraced her shortly. Then he yawned and sat down at her huge bed and pulled her blanket around his freezing body.

"May I sleep here tonight?" he asked and looked suddenly like a small boy.

"Another nightmare, Heli-chan?" shortly Chibiusa looked into his red eyes and remembered that her problems were tiny in comparison to his ones.

"Just a small one." He smiled but it looked sadly. "I just don't want to be alone tonight and I don't want to wake up mommy and daddy again."

"Just feel yourself home." Answered Chibiusa and sat down behind the desk. She pulled out a block and grabbed her pencil. But still her head was empty and she simply didn't know what to write first. What to write best.

"Just write what you think, little one. Even if it sounds crazy." Giggled Helios and yawned. Then he cuddled deeper into her blankets and closed his eyes. "But we all know that you're crazy, little one."

Chibiusa nodded and concentrated. And finally, after six long weeks, she started to write.

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Eight weeks now.

Haruka held her helmet tight in her hands and stared at her pale face in the car window's reflection.

It's now the beginning of November and she didn't write back.

Slowly Haruka opened the door and took place behind the steering wheel. This was another race she wanted to take part, because it was more a race of honour than to win a real price. There were a lots of people from her team around to help her with the car. To make sure that it would take her over the race track and surely to the first place. She already had the pole position and no one doubted that she wouldn't win.

She didn't answer any letter. Not one single letter. Not even Yuki-chan's letter she drew with so much love and passion.

Haruka sighed deeply and pulled her phone out of her pockets. Shortly she observed it to make sure that it was on before she put it away again.

It's like she didn't want to write us back.

Someone showed her that she should leave the box and so she started the car and drove out into the weak autumn's sun.

"It's show time." She whispered as she reached her pole position.

If she doesn't react now she doesn't want us any longer.

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Nani?

Hotaru opened the crumbled letter and read her daddy's neat writing. It was only her daddy's. There was no drawn picture of Yuki-chan on the bottom. There was no writing of her mother trying to fight against her daddy's and writing some more crazy comments behind Haruka's words.

Nani?

This letter her daddy obviously wrote all alone. It was a serious one. A very serious one. Telling Hotaru how much they loved hey. That they were proud of her studying in a foreign country, learning a foreign language. That the teacher only wrote good things about her and that she was an excellent pupil.

Nani?

Hotaru gulped as she read the last lines. Her daddy told her that she would always be their daughter. That she only had to call them up or to write them if she had any problems. That they would listen. That they would always be there. That one call was enough to take her home if she didn't want to stay in America any longer.

Nani...

Hotaru felt how tears burned in her eyes. That letter wasn't one of the funny ones her daddy mostly wrote. This one was really serious. It was telling her how unconditional her parents loved her - no matter what ever would happen. That she would always belong to their family.

The letter didn't have a signature. Only a little sketch of a little girl sitting near a black piano, laughing happily at the watcher. Haruka wasn't as talented as her wife in drawing but Hotaru could recognize herself. Could recognize the old photo her daddy had always in the pockets of her jeans.

I love you, too.

Hotaru swallowed hard, remembered again why she was in America. Saw again the shadow she didn't see during the past eight weeks. Saw again Helios and Chibiusa standing under the cherry tree. Felt again the pain raging in her heart.

I love you, too.

But she had to stay here. To learn for her future. And to try to forget. To understand. To accept. And maybe to be able to live with that pain when she would return by the end of the term.

Hope they aren't too angry that I don't write back.

It was simply to painful for her.

Hotaru stood up from her bed and put the letter carefully to the others in her drawer. Then she grabbed her photograph and ran out of the room she shared with Marie and Cindy. Cindy wasn't around. It was a Sunday and surely she was in the great hall watching TV with her friends and chatting. Hotaru wiped away some tears with the sleeves of her blouse while she ran long the corridor. She wore her school uniform, even during the days off. Cindy blamed her every chance she got how stupid she looked. That she wasn't in Japan any longer. That America was a free land. That she didn't have to wear a school uniform any longer. But the teacher let her. Every one was allowed to wear what he or she wanted and as long as her uniform was clean and in order she could wear it. Marie even called it trés jolie. Whatever that meant.

"Marie?" Hotaru glanced at her watch. Still there was half an hour time to meet her. Today they wanted to go together to the horse farm. Marie finally convinced Hotaru that it was worth it. To see those beautiful animals. And to see her riding. Marie was very keen on proving that she was maybe too afraid to jump from the tower into the water but that she was an expert in trick riding. Her mother lead such a farm in France, too, and so it was naturally for Marie to spent most of her free time with her horses. And with that Kevin. Hotaru smiled when she thought how excited Marie always was when she talked about that boy.

Today I am going to meet him.

Hotaru declared that she wanted to see Marie riding. That she would make some photos but that she wouldn't ride on such a big animal. She wasn't very keen on. And she wasn't allowed by her doctor either. Marie looked a little bit disappointed but after Hotaru showed her the photograph the French girl was convinced and they decided for today to be the perfect day.

"Is Marie somewhere here?" Hotaru ran into the big hall where Cindy and some other girls sat around the TV sat and watched some sport. Formula one as Hotaru saw after the second look. The honour race of the Grand Prix of Japan. Her daddy had the pole position.

As always.

Against her will Hotaru had to grin.

"I am not her nursemaid, Hotawu." Marie knew too well how Hotaru's name was pronounced correctly and she knew too well how angry Hotaru could get. So she said it the wrong way on purpose. But Hotaru was to excited to go to the farm that she simply ignored it.

"Guess she's in the bathroom or so." said another girl who simply wanted to watch TV and didn't belong to Cindy and her personal hate club. "Just wait some minutes. I am sure that she'll return."

Hotaru nodded and sat down and watched how the race started. Her daddy kept her pole position without many problems and the commentators already discussed who would reach the second place. Because the first one was already clear when Tenô Haruka accompanied them.

"This Tenô Haruka is really great." Said a girl and chewed excitedly on her candy stick.

"Hai. There's hardly any race he lost." Answered a boy. "He used to be the World Champion for four years after another. Until he and his wife got a child. Since that day he only drives when he's asked. For honour races like this one."

"Hey, you're really good informed." Teased another girl and the boy blushed.

"My daddy liked Tenô Haruka a lot during his best times." He mumbled but it sounded more like an excuse. The girls only grinned and they watched the next four rounds.

Then Haruka suddenly seemed to have problems. She got slower and some cars could overtake her. Hotaru frowned and felt suddenly sick. Because she knew that her daddy couldn't be beaten that easily by her opponents. Even the commentators sounded surprised.

Maybe her car is broken?

"What's now wrong?" asked the boy and the other girls frowned, too. Just Cindy yawned. She wanted to look a daily soap opera but the others had been to many and so she had to wait until the race was over.

Nani?

At that moment Haruka seemed to lost control over her red Ferrari and left the race track. There was a last try to get back to the track as the car suddenly swirled around itself and crashed into the next wall. The camera shook and suddenly there were flames everywhere. The air was dark with smoke and the commentators now screamed into the micros. The place was suddenly crowded with different people. There was even an ambulance. Just Haruka couldn't be seen anywhere.

Nani?

Hotaru felt suddenly very, very sick. Her whole stomach ached and automatically she grabbed her back bag and pulled her phone outside.

I looked into the mirror this morning. There was no shadow. There was no sign!

But Hotaru knew too well how quickly that could chance. Maybe she was too far away to feel it? Maybe that curse only worked when the people she loved, she had to protect, were around? Maybe...

Automatically she dialled the number and held the phone against her ear.

I am far, far away. Hopefully that's not the reason for her accident...

"What the hell happened?"

"I can't believe it, that's Tenô Haruka! He can't have an accident like that!"

The girls were really excited. The blushed boy was now pale and only shook his head.

"That's enough. That's boring." Cindy leaned forward and grabbed the remote control to watch her soap opera. She didn't understand what was happening and it looked for her that the race was over.

"PUT THAT DOWN!" growled Hotaru with the phone in her one and the small mirror in her other hand. But still she didn't see the shadow. Not even the slightest hint of it.

Cindy frowned because no one ever dared to talk to her in such an icy, in such a determined voice. She frowned even more as she saw the phone in the other girl's hand, because she thought that the Japanese girl was too poor to have such an expensive thing.

"Konnichiwa?" Hotaru gulped as finally someone answered her phone. "Here's Tenô Hotaru. Can I have a talk to my daddy?" she rolled her eyes as someone yelled into the phone. A young voice she didn't know. Not yet. "I just wanna..." The phone call was broken and for some seconds she looked at the phone in disbelieve. That had never happened before. Again she looked at the screen, saw the flames and the firework brigade trying to erase them. Still there was no sign of her daddy on the track. Even the voices of the commentators were quieter now. Automatically Hotaru dialled again. And got the same voice back on the phone.

"If you hang up now, lad, you're fired!" she yelled into the phone to be on the same level with him. "It's alike if there's hell outside on the race track. I want to talk to my daddy. RIGHT NOW!" Her dark eyes sparkled and she crabbed the mirror tighter in her hand. "Then give me Shinji. Hai, right. Tamed Shinji. Fuck! It's alike to me HOW you do it. Just DO it or I'll kick..." There was a brief moment of silence and Hotaru growled into the now deaf telephone. While tears sparkled in her eyes.

"Tamado Shinji?" asked the boy and raised his eyebrows. The other girls only shrugged their shoulders because they knew too who that man was. He was the manager of the Grand Prix in Japan. But that was all they understood, because the dark haired girl talked to the phone in a language they didn't understand. Surely Japanese. She did come from Japan, didn't she?

But what was she doing right now? They didn't know an answer. So they kept silent and waited.

"Shinji?" Hotaru let out a long, relieved sigh. "How I am feeling? My daddy just had an accident and you're asking me how I am feeling?" The dark haired girl shook her head and felt how her whole body started to tremble. "Where's she? How's SHE feeling? Is everything okay? Please, Shinji, tell me that everything is fine. That it was simply that fucking car and that... Hai, I know, I shouldn't curse, but damn, that doesn't interest me at all right..." There was laughter at the other end of the phone and Hotaru felt how tears ran over her cheeks as she heard the teasing voice the other second as Shinji handled the phone. It was only a short sentence the other person said but it was the most beautiful sentence Hotaru had ever head before in her life.

Hello, Himme-chan.

"Shit, daddy, do you know how much you scared me?" sobbed Hotaru and more tears ran down her cheeks. She held the phone tighter in her hands and the mirror fell down with a cracking noise. But she didn't even notice it.

"The car... I knew that it was... the break? But it's... nothing happened to you... that's the most important thing... daddy! It was only a race! It's not important. Not as important as you are... Hai... I know... you always... hai..." Hotaru sighed deeply and was very relieved to hear her daddy so alive and so happy on the other side of the phone.

"How I am feeling?" Hotaru laughed a shaky voice, not realising that Marie entered the room and looked asking at the obviously crying tall girl. "That's strange, you had an accident, daddy, and everyone is asking me how I feel. Even Shinji..." Hotaru nodded. "Is mommy fine? Does she know that you didn't break your stubborn head? Oh... she stands right beside you? Shinji took her? Must have been a shock for her... surely..." Hotaru didn't know how long she talked to her daddy. It was so nice simply hearing Haruka's voice. Teasing her. Laughing at the other end of the phone. Then she spoke shortly to her mommy and to her little sister. She would have talked for hours to them, but then Shinji reminded them that Haruka should go out and tell the world that she was still alive. That they could continue with their race. That no one died today.

"I..." Hotaru closed her eyes for some moments and knew that she would start to write home. This very day. It wasn't her parents fault that Chibiusa loved Helios. That she saw shadows in every mirror. That she loved not only a girl, but the princess of Crystal Tokyo. "I love you, too, daddy. All of you."

At that moment Tenô Haruka stepped out in the sun of the race track and smiled cheeky at the reporters already waiting for her. The still pale boy and the confused girls saw how the famous formula one racer put away a phone before she started to answer different questions.

Hotaru stared for some more seconds at the phone and sobbed quietly. Then she came to her trembling legs and put her own phone away. Shortly she looked at Marie and wiped away her tears. They were replaced by new ones.

"I can't come with you today. I simply can't." she whispered before she stormed out of the room. The others looked still very, very confused. They didn't understand a word Hotaru had spoken in Japanese.

Just one single word Marie understood too well.

Daddy.

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She enjoyed the rushes of the waves. Her eyes were closed. Fresh November wind played with her long hairs and with her white night dress. She smiled as someone stepped behind her and held her tight. Rocked her. Kissed her temples and her cheeks.

"You didn't cause that accident on purpose, did you, Ruka?" asked Michiru after a long time they stood there and felt the presence of the other one. Haruka only kissed her wife and held her a little bit tighter.

"You know, I'd never leave you." Was all she replied.

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