Hmm...okay. First things firt, the dreaded disclaimer.
Disclaimer: I don't own Instant Star or anything that goes along with it!
Now, I'm new here. This is my first story. It's in Judes POV. Umm.. I hope you like it.
- Sam
Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you had made different choices? Be honest. If in the past you chose a different road than the one your currently stuck on? I know I probably sound completely loony right now. But lately all the "What If's?" and "How Come's?" have been nagging at my brain. I keep thinking that if I hadn't won the Instant Star competition how different my life would be right now. I wouldn't need to cover up my face every time I went out to grab a cup of coffee with my best friend. Maybe my parents would still be together. God knows their divorce was mainly because of the stress my career put on them. I might be working in a pawn shop, selling used instruments. Or, stocking toilet paper at some grocery store near by.
Then again, here's another thought. How has my life changed since I accepted G-Majors recording contract two years ago? Well, for starters, I wouldn't have gotten the opportunity to express my music to the world. That's the greatest gift the studio has blessed me with. To be able to make music my way, with my emotions and fears thrown in, is simply electrifying. Music is the course I take to letting people know what's real. If that was taken away from me, I think I'd be miserable. Without my music, I am nothing.
An added bonus to my contract was meeting Tommy. Oh boy, Tommy. The name speaks for itself. To me anyways. He's very complicated. He's always been their though when I needed him, so I guess that makes up for all the confusion he leaves embedded into my brain. When I was first told he was going to be my producer my first thought was, "Hell no!" That sounds really rude but it's the truth. A '90's boy bander producing my music? It was scary at the time. To be completely honest, I didn't think my music was worth him producing. I was very wrong.
He changed my music for the better. Heck, he changed me for the better. Without him I wouldn't have experienced certain things that I've made memories of. Tommy's like a dictionary. He's filled with tons of useful information but then again his thick-headed alter ego can aggravate the crap out of me. It's surprising how along the way I developed strong feelings for him. Considering we both bicker constantly. The love-hate relationship is mutual. I still don't know what feelings he has for me, if any. Sure we've kissed a few times and thought of each other in ways that are highly inappropriate but is that really love?
Oh my goodness. The idea that I could even be in love with the man is insane! He's mulish, a starving perfectionist, high maintenance, moody, and occasionally brooding. Most of all the things I am not. I couldn't be farther from perfect if you threw me into a Broadway choir. I can't stand cleaning, just look at my room. And I'm not mulish at all. Okay, wait, forget I said that. I'm a very stubborn person, I admit it. That's one thing we have in common. Besides music. The fact that he drives me crazy doesn't count in all of this.
When were sitting in the studio and he does that little half groan half sigh thing... I can't really think when he does that. I don't know why. Or, when he's reaching for something and his arm muscles flex. You do not want to be a witness to that, lemme tell ya. He's got this sexy way of being an ass. That was the biggest oxymoron. I loathe the amount of control he has over me. It makes me feel as if I don't have any over him. Sadie says I need more sex appeal. Is she loco? I have about as much sex appeal as my great Aunt Daphne! I think she's 54...
Skipping the subject of Tommy for a sec. Let's talk about my sister. Everyone knows Sadie is the queen of all things and everything. These days she's been especially nice and helpful. I'm wondering if college life has reduced the size of her brain. She knows how I feel about Tommy and amazingly she's not mad or jealous for once. She had her chance. Whenever I come to her to talk about "You know who" she's always willing to give me advice. I'm only 17, so I don't even know why I try. Or why she tries. But at least Sades isn't the over-achieving snob she used to be.
Anyway, back to Tommy. As I was saying, I hate the hold he has on me. It's like I'm trapped in a weirdo force field of energy and I can't break the walls (strange analogy). Sometimes I feel like I have no control. I can't control anything in my life except my music, my eating and sleeping habits, and how much espresso I drink a day. Pretty sad, huh?
Everyone has their good days and bad days. I'm just cursed with having more bad than good. Today, for example. I woke up to a house full of a total of two people and no Cocoa Pebbles in the pantry.
" Jude! Gary's here. He's taking me out for breakfast. I'll be home within the next two hours. Don't forget to get your clothes out of the drier! " I heard my mom yelling from the upstairs. I hated Sundays. Sundays were cleaning days. Not to mention Sundays suck because that just means tomorrows Monday. And Mondays are even worse than Sundays.
I stumbled into the kitchen and found Sadie reading the daily newspaper. She never used to read that and she never used to sit with her back so straight at the kitchen table. I personally think she just wants to look more intelligent than she really is. Maybe she should get some fake glasses and go for the whole librarian appearance.
After rummaging through the fridge, cabinets, and pantry I finally settled on a Frosted S'Mores pop tart and some Milk. " Watcha reading? " I asked her, sitting down in the chair across from her and trying to open my pop tart. She set the paper down in front of her. " Oh, nothing. " she said.
I nodded. God damn. Why does ' Kellogg ' have to make their wrappers so difficult! Six year olds eat pop tarts. If I couldn't open it, then how would they. That was a rhetorical question. It's the same with those fruit rollups. I can't ever get the plastic off the actual rollup. Not that I eat those or anything...
" Need some help? " Sadie asked, eyeing me like I was a Squirrel trying to bury a nut. Better question, " When don't I need help? " I didn't say that out loud of course. I simply tossed the thing over to her and watched as she magically sliced the shiny, aluminum foil off my morning breakfast.
Sadie has always been better at doing something than I have. I mean always. Just like that old song on the Gatorade commercials ( I think it was Gatorade..). The " I can do anything better than you can. I can do anything better than you! " That song screams me and my sister. But so does ' People Are Strange ' by The Doors. When we were younger, it was all about Sadie. She was the princess and I was the partisan who catered to her. Childhood bites. Especially if you have siblings.
" Thanks " I muttered, as I broke off a piece and popped it into my mouth. Mmmm... I love me some Chocolaty goodness. For some odd reason my mouth was really dry. The milk just made it worse. So did the pop tart but you can bet I'm not going to give that up. I'm guessing it's just the whole yucky morning mouth. I'll be fine after I brush my teeth and use some mouthwash.
As I was breaking off another chunk, I glanced over and saw Tommy standing in the doorway. It wasn't a hallucination either. He was just standing their. " Oh, hey Tom. " Sadie said casually, getting up and making her way to the fridge. What was this? He didn't have a key to our house. Mom always unlocked the front door in the morning but that's not a welcome for people just to walk right in. Tommy's no exception.
" Whafz ee djoin her? " I asked, my mouth obviously stuffed with a mixture of Chocolate and Milk. I hope I didn't spit.
" I told him he could come in whenever the doors open. " Sadie replied. She poured herself a glass of Orange Juice, took a drink, then wiped her mouth with a paper towel. I watched her. I know Tom's not a stranger but if she's going to do that then why not just alert the whole friggen' neighborhood! I feel a lot safer knowing we had that alarm system thing put in last Summer.
" Um, okay. " I said, sounding a bit distant. I'm in my pajamas. And it's 10:00 in the morning. This is what every girl wants, right? To be sitting in her kitchen, with her sister, who dated her producer, who is also in the room, who I happen to be crushing on, might possibly love, who is just standing their like he's paralyzed, not saying anything like a mute, while I continue to awkwardly eat.
" Morning " Tommy said. He speaks! He shuffled his way to our island and grabbed an apple. Cleaning it before biting into it. Maybe I shouldn't be so touchy on the fact that he just waltzed right into our house and took one of our apples. I mean, Jaime does it. Jaime comes into our house just to use the bathroom. Seriously. He comes in, does his business, then leaves. Sometimes he says hi, sometimes he doesn't.
I tossed the issue aside. " Why'd you come here? It's Sunday. I don't have to go to the studio today. " I was using my tongue to try to get something out of my teeth. It probably didn't look very pleasant but I don't care.
He shook his head. That better not mean I have to go to the studio today. I refuse. " No. You don't have to go to the studio today. " He said. I sighed with relief. It's not like I was going to go even If I had to. Like I said, It's Sunday. It's against the law in my book to go to work on Sunday. " But you do have some charity work you need to do. " he finished. Dammit! " We need to do. " he corrected himself.
I pouted, I wanted to cry, I was being selfish. I crossed my arms over my chest and tucked one leg under the other on the wooden kitchen chair. " What? Why? " I whined.
I had already gone to the childrens hospital, fed the homeless, and picked up trash around the city. What else left was their? Don't get me wrong. I love kids and I love doing whatever I can to help people in need but this...This was getting old. Today would have been the perfect day to go to a carnival or something. Evidently I won't be doing anything fun or relaxing.
" What are we doing? " I asked, ready for the worst. Come on. Hit me with your best shot Tom Quincy.
Tommy threw his half eaten apple away. Oh, now he's wasting our food. What if we were on an apple shortage! " Animal Shelter. " he said. All he said. Hmm...ok. Animals I can handle. For the most part. We've had Rozzy ( our family dog ) for almost seven years.
" Dogs I can handle. " I looked up at him from my seated position and gave him a quirky smile. He returned it with one of equal evilness. " Not just Dogs. " He patted me playfully on the head. He walked to the doorway, placed his sunglasses over his eyes, turned, and said, " Go get dressed. Were leaving in about Ten minutes. Nice seeing you, Sadie. " Then he walked out the front door towards his car.
" What did he mean ' Not just Dogs '? " I asked cautiously. If I had to touch a spider, or any bug, or feed a live rat to a snake, I would hurl. No, I'd probably drop to the floor. Never been good with bugs.
Sadie shrugged. " I guess you're going to find out. You better go get dressed. You only have.. " she looked at her crystal embroidered watch, " Seven minutes. "
I felt like sucker punching something. My plan for the day was staying home, staying in the p.j.'s, watching the Will and Grace marathon on Lifetime, and indulging in a gallon of Cookie Dough Ice Cream. Not, having to get dressed, being forced to spend the day at an Animal Shelter, and come home smelling like a zoo. I love my venting period.
I unfolded my legs quickly and accidentally fell to the ground, face forward. Tommy would leave me if I wasn't ready. I bounced back up, with no scratches or bruises I might add, and flew up the stairs. ' What does a person wear to an Animal Shelter? ' I mentally asked myself. I heard Tommy honking and knew time wasn't on my side. I grabbed the cleanest thing I could find, threw it on, and ran back down the stairs. I waved bye to Sadie on my way and once outside, practically catapulted myself into the Viper.