The rest of the day went on rather boringly. Moose trashed Toms Full Grain Leather interior. I thought it was pretty funny. It's not like he doesn't have enough money from shaking his boybander ass to fix it. We showed up at my house to find Sadie gone, and a note from my mom. Here we go again. Treating me like I'm Five. One of these days I'll show them that I'm not Fifteen anymore. And that I'm not a kid.

Jude,
Came home to find your laundry still stuffed in the dryer. I took it out and put it in a laundry basket. It's in the living room. I'm not sure when I'll be home. There's leftover Chicken Casserole in the refrigerator. See you soon!

Mom

Gary Stickle. The new guy mom snatched out of "Bills Grill...And Bar". She's turned into quite the little tease lately. I'm not trying to show any disrespect to her either. I meet a new boyfriend every...oh..week or so (no pun intended). Theres been talk about marriage with her new one but you can sure as hell bet I'm not taking the name 'Jude Stickle' (no pun intended). It makes me sound like a slutty soap opera star whose name should be Ivana (pun intended).

And what's with the Chicken Casserole? She knows I hate it but she continues to make it. It was probably a frozen TV dinner thing. I'll feed it to Tommy.

"You can..uh..sit down." I said, as we entered the house. Things had become extremely awkward after the whole park incident. He wouldn't even look at me. I couldn't decide if he was embarrassed, angry, or just irritated. Knowing him, like I do, it's normal to bare witness to his unfriendly mood swings. He reminds me of Sadie when she's on the rag. That's the most terrible time of the month around here. When Sadies 'started', grab a Coke, a Granola Bar, and barricade yourself under your bed! Maybe Tommys bipolar?..

I noticed the clothes my mom was talking about sitting in the basket on the coffee table. My Ramones T-shirt, Two pairs of jeans, tons of socks, and a thong. If I remember correctly, that's about what I put in my hamper. Erm! Backup. At second glance I realized my "under garments" were stock right on top of the pile of clean clothes. Dammit. I'm like the friggen' Obi Wan of humiliation.

I don't think he noticed. Oh wait...wait...he did. Tommy raised an eyebrow and actually sat up straighter. The moment he turned to look at me, I knew what he was going to say. This is why I took action. In 4.3 milliseconds I had dodged over to that table, sat on the basket, and rambled about how stupid Sadie was to leave crap like that around.

Tossing the basket away. And I mean far away, I took a seat next to him. Quietness. I hate the word quiet. It should mean death. I can't stay silent and I can't stand silence. Am I a complicated person, or what! Sitting next to him then, a really weird sensation came over me. Not like that you pervs. I felt..sad. Tommy and I used to be friends. We used to go to concerts and have lunch together. We used to throw those little chocolate covered gummy bears at people when we went and saw movies. You'd think he was to mature to do something like that. He's not.

Ever since I turned Seventeen we've been drifting I guess. I missed calling him at Two in the morning when I had writers block. I missed jumping on his back when I was bored and there was nothing to do in the studio. I missed spending time with him. As friends. Everythings been so complicated! "Do you want me?" or "Why don't you want me?" are stupid questions. If I had to choose between having Tommy in my life as just a friend and not a lover opposed to not having him at all.. I'd choose numero uno.

"Hey Tom--" I began. He looked into my eyes with that look. I can't describe it exactly. I just call it 'The look'. "What's going on between us?" I asked. I didn't want him to take it as what's going on romantically with us. I should have specified. "I mean, why don't we hang out anymore?"

He grabbed my legs and laid them over his lap, smiling the whole time. He wasn't making a move. "Honestly.. I really don't know, Jude." he replied. My legs were surprisingly soar and the gash Moose had given me earlier was now a light shade of purple. Tommy gently rubbed his thumb over it. It was actually very soothing.

I smiled. His answer just didn't satisfy me. But then again, what does? I don't ask for much. I'll blame genetics. "Do you remember that time we were in Stans Grocery Store and my shoe got stuck in the frozen meat bin?" I laughed. That was an experience! Apparently rubber can freeze against plastic. Who would have thunk it! He laughed softly. "Yeah. What about the time you got stuck in the turnstile at Home Depot? The firemen had to come. I was there for Three hours waiting on you to be set free!" he exclaimed.

The thing is, I can't be tamed. I'm a wild child. I threw a pillow at him. "And you sacrificed for me because you love me, Quincy." I teased. Weird thing about me saying that is I actually started to believe in it.

Love: (1) Strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties maternal love for a child (2) : attraction based on sexual desire : affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3) : affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests love for his old schoolmates b : an assurance of love give her my love
2 : warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion love of the sea

That the definition of it given by good old Webster. But to me, love is different. Once you know you're in love, nothing should matter. Disability, Gender, Religion, Age! It's all bull. If you truly love someone, there's nothing else to worry about. That's how I feel when I'm with Tommy. Like I don't have a care in the world.

He was laughing slightly when he responded. "Yeah.. Maybe I do." he said warmly. Oh, now I remember why we stopped hanging out. Uncontrollable feelings might have something to do with it! I was just sitting there. Looking at him. Into his eyes. There such beautiful eyes. Like the ocean. Or the sky! Every time I got lost.

"Hello!" Anyone here?" we both heard my sisters obnoxious voice from the doorway. I swung my legs around just as she was walking into the room. "There you are! Listen, I need to talk to you, Jude. It's important!" Sadie huffed in a busybody tone.

Sadie only huffed when it was a dire emergency. I realized it was something big, so I sadly let Tommy get up and leave. Much to my dismay. And it sucked because I lost my footstool. "What is it, Sadie?" I asked, my hands on my hips, and already missing the warmth Tommy's body had been giving mine just moments before.