Summary: (One-shot) What exactly did Dearka say to Milly the night she "kicked him away?"
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Seed, or Gundam Seed Destiny. The pairing just appeals to me, and I wondered why they broke it off…yes, speculation + amused fangirl equals this:
."So how is it between you and Dearka?" she was asked. She wasn't prepared for the question, so she answered cheerily: "I kicked him away!"
Thankfully, no one pursued the matter. Because if they did, she didn't know if she could keep up her façade, or do what she did that night…and break down and cry.
—On That Night—
As the strain between the Coordinators and Naturals intensified, as the threat of a new war loomed before them, the relationship between a certain blonde-haired, cocky former pilot and a brunette, petite photographer with an obsession with the colour orange suffered. Almost mirroring the events surrounding them, their relationship and what would become of it was the metaphor for the so-called "peace" between Earth and space.
There were plenty enough hints to begin with that it wasn't going to work out in the long run. At first, people thought it was romantic. A love between a Coordinator who killed the love of a Natural, and the Natural who loved him back enough to forgive him was way too good of a story to be dismissed, no matter how exaggerated and flawed the story was. But after the time of peace was over, after the random skirmishes between both races started again, it wasn't long that their ideal little romance turned into tragedy.
It wasn't enough with the evil-eyed looks people gave them in the street. It wasn't enough that "friends" or even random neighbours on the block asked them spitefully what their children were going to look like. But the major blow was that their parents were the most opposed to them seeing one another.
That night started out like any other. Neither of them expected it to end the way it did.
They had just come back to Milly's apartment after another family dinner. Actually, it was supposed to be their dinner—just the two of them. But Milly's mother "conveniently" was at the same restaurant with her father—to celebrate their anniversary. Which was a totally weird and obvious excuse, because it was the one she used the last time that they "incidentally" met. Needless to say, dinner was strained that night.
It was raining out. Dearka had leant Milly his jacket, even though his perfect hair ended up getting soaked. She looked so funny in it…like it was an oversized blanket. He could barely keep from laughing.
They were outside the door as they said their light-hearted final comments and good-byes. "Your mother was giving me the evil-eye again." Dearka said, smiling. "Her expression…it was like you dragged a wet dog home."
Milly laughed. She didn't want to tell him that a wet dog was exactly what he looked like at the moment. "Yes, well, then you know how I feel when your mother pops up on one of our outings—how do they keep knowing where and when we go anyway?" she said, laughingly.
But, like a storm, the air pressed heavily around them. Light thunder could be heard outside. The rain tapped against the glass, as an impatient friend would tap on the door to hurry up his comrade. Time and fate would not let what they had linger. As if on cue, Dearka cleared his throat. He had something he needed to say.
"Milliaria," he started. "Rumours say that the Plants and the Earth are going to be at it again—real soon."
That caught Milly's attention. She snapped up, looking at him in confusion, and then intense concern. She knew what he was going to say.
"No—"
"Milly I have to. Their my people. It's my home."
"But you can't! You promised!"
"I'm sorry. I made a promise I couldn't keep. If the Plants and the Earth do go to war, I'm signing up with Zaft again."
A silence ensued as the impact of his words hit.
"Will you come with me?" he asked. Milly didn't even hesitate to answer.
"No," she said quite emotionlessly. "You said that the Plants were your home. Well here's mine. I have to be here when the storm hits."
"But I can't protect you here!" Dearka said, despairing. I didn't think she'd say no…shit, what the heck do I do now?
"It'll be okay. I'll take my family and go to Orb. Cagalli'll make sure that everything's going to be alright."
"But she's almost marring an idiot! I mean, she should've taken Athrun or something but nooo…I mean, that's beside the point! Pretty soon, Orb'll be dragged into the war as well. And when it does, most Zaft soldiers I know won't think twice about shooting any Natural—soldier or civilian." I should know—I was one of them, once.
"It'll be okay. Natural's aren't as weak as you think they are," she said, lightly, trying to reassure him. He, in his concern, said something wrong, thinking that the three-word statement would persuade her to come with him:
"Naturals are stupid," Dearka said, reverting to his former self and forgetting exactly who he was talking to. His eyes snapped open one second after his foolish comment.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean—" but the damage was already done.
"Then if you're the example of a perfect Coordinator, then Coordinators are no better," Milly hissed. He really didn't change after all.
An uncomfortable silence followed. Do I really want it like this for the rest of our lives? Milly asked herself, reflecting back to the last few months.
Dearka heard her intake a deep breath. Oh shit. He had watched enough chick flicks with Milly to know what was going to happen next. He tried to intercept, but—
"Dearka," Milly said, somewhat calmly. He didn't catch the tremor in her voice even though she did. She wasn't looking at him. "I think it would be in our best interests—in everyone's best interest—if we just didn't see each other anymore."
She knew she couldn't look up. One look upon his face would send her running right back into his arms. He didn't say anything. He didn't trust himself to say anything, lest he break down and ruin the image he had taken so long to perfect. Perhaps that was his downfall: pride. He realized it too late. She handed him back his jacket, opened the door to her apartment, went inside, and shut it.
He stood outside for a long time, it seemed. It might have been seconds, it might have been hours. He just stood there, long after the rain stopped dripping off his clothes and skin. But, finally, sighing, he left. He left it all there; his love, his kindness, and once again became the cocky, blonde-haired soldier that he thought he left behind for good.
As he went down the hall, he thought he heard sobbing. It might have been Milly; but then again, it might have been him. He just continued walking, and didn't look back.
Not long after this occurred, war broke out…and whatever happened between them seemed like a dream…and, like Athrun and Kira's yearned-for childhood innocence, disappeared amidst the horror and the blood.
Milly signed up with a volunteer, anti-war newspaper. She would go to the most dangerous of places, taking photos, taking proof of the extent of humanity's ruthlessness. She would never bring a weapon, though it was advised and even urged by the newspaper's editors. She knew that the world was better off with one less person brandishing a gun, or a knife…Because a gun or a knife, with one brief second of choice, with one wrong move, could cause plenty of heartache. One wrong move would've taken him away from her…and though she thought she hated him now, she knew that the love she had once felt for him was an undeniable truth. So she would go into the fields and take the pictures. It was her war to fight too, after all.
At about the same time, Dearka enlisted with the Zaft forces. He could've gone for a red coat, he knew. Even though he could have been tried for treason, a spiteful/helpful word dropped by "best buddy" Yzak when peace was still on convinced everyone that he was addle-minded throughout his whole "ordeal," and was convinced that he was a Natural, so technically, he was never a deserter. But he didn't want to. After all, it was in a red coat that he had first met her. And, as shameful as it was to admit, even to himself, he didn't want to ruin that memory with the blood of her people. Maybe she made him weaker, or maybe she made him stronger. What he knew now was that, in the second Bloody Valentine war, he knew what he needed to fight for. He had said that he wanted to protect his home, but in truth, he wanted to fight for peace to protect her. He just wished he had told her that…on that night.
♥
Without my weapon, I cannot protect you…but with it, I cannot hold you…(Something I read in a Bleach manga that seems to apply to the situation)
How was that? Just my interpretation of Milly's cheery answer of "I kicked him away!" R&R please!