Sesshomaru watched the miko leave his chambers. Her head was held high but each step faltered slightly and the muscles of her back were taut with tension. He waited for her to break into a run and provide him with an excuse to give chase but she never did. The miko slipped silently down the corridor until she descended the staircase, disappearing from his view.
His inner beast snarled with rage. He urged Sesshomaru to go after her. Ever since she had snapped at him, his inner beast had been rumbling appreciatively. He saw the girl as strong, fierce, and loyal— all critical traits for a potential mate.
Sesshomaru saw her as a problem. Not only did she insist upon wearing her inappropriate garb which revealed too much flesh but she also dared to raise her voice at him. No one spoke back to him. No one.
He growled, glaring at the place where she had stood mere moments before. Sesshomaru hadn't expected her reactions to be so quick. Humans were rarely able to defend themselves against him.
He concluded her speed was due to her growing spiritual abilities. They were heightened when she was in danger. Her powers served her well in battle. He had been impressed by how she wielded her reiki against the wind witch. He was less pleased with being on the receiving end of her abilities.
Distance had not helped his situation. She was not intimidated like her travel companions. The miko appeared to thrive under pressure. She faced her obstacles directly and without hesitation. In that respect, she had more integrity than his dim-witted half-brother. Sesshomaru scoffed. Inuyasha could learn something from the miko, if he ever opened his eyes long enough to realize how rare a woman she was.
Ours, his inner beast growled possessively.
Sesshomaru threw the bottle of camellia oil against the wall. The glass shattered on impact, leaving a glossy residue on the wall where the liquid began to drop to the floor.
One of his attendants came running. "Lord Sesshomaru?"
"Remove that mess," he ordered.
"Yes, my lord." The attendant bowed then hurried over to collect the remnants of the bottle.
Sesshomaru made to leave when he heard her voice ringing in his ears.
You can't just go around ordering people to do whatever. I mean, you don't even say please or thank you. What kind of manners are those?
Clenching his jaw, Sesshomaru glanced over his shoulder at the servant. "Thank you," he said quietly.
The demon froze. "Lord Sesshomaru?"
"Thank you," he repeated somewhat tersely.
"Y-you're w-welcome, my lord," the attendant replied warily.
Sesshomaru stormed out of the room, seeking refuge in the one place still under his control.
The sun was descending over the Western Lands, casting shadows across the courtyard. He unsheathed Tenseiga. The blade remained as lifeless and unresponsive as a normal sword. Frowning, Sesshomaru swung the blade in a horizontal arch.
He proceeded through the steps of his form, allowing each twist of his wrist and sidestep to flow evenly into the next.
Mastering a weapon was akin to mastering one's self. His father had told him that. At the time, Sesshomaru had not understood but as he transitioned into his second practice form, the demon realized his balance was slightly off. He was distracted.
Saving the child had been a test of his inheritance, a whim he sought to satisfy. Yet, once Tenseiga displayed its power, Sesshomaru had not cast the infant aside. Even when the miko provided him an opportunity to be rid of the small human, he had insisted on keeping her.
Sesshomaru could not explain his actions. He felt responsible for her life. The prospect of sending her away troubled him. He blamed the sword. Tenseiga was crafted from his father's fang— his father who showed great compassion for humankind. It appeared that such a trait was embedded in the blade. It sought to aid humankind much like its twin, Tetsusaiga.
He paused, studying Tenseiga. The weapon glinted in the light of the sunset, a seemingly insignificant metal blade. It had not pulsed since his encounter with the wind witch. The sword only responded when a life hung in the balance— a human life.
Perhaps his inheritance was not the blade but the final message of the one who commissioned it.
Kagome couldn't get her hands to stop shaking. She'd been jittery ever since she left Sesshomaru's chambers. It was like that time she, Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi stayed up all night to cram and drank a pot of coffee each. She felt as though she would jump out of her skin.
"Are you alright, Kagome?" Shippo asked, peering at her curiously.
"Yeah, of course," she replied, forcing a smile. "What are you working on?"
Shippo held up a collection of drawings with a proud smile. "I'm making a picture book of our latest battle."
Kagome studied the crayon masterpiece. Her cheeks reddened. "Shippo?"
"Yeah?"
She pointed to a girl surrounded by a pink light. "Is that supposed to be me?"
"Yep!"
"And is that Sesshomaru?" She indicated a snarling white dog beside the girl.
"Yep!" Shippo repeated happily. "You two make a great fighting team. You're way better than Inuyasha because he never listens to you and you're usually right."
Kagome blinked, unsure how to respond to the kitsune's observation.
"What color do you think I should make Sesshomaru's aura? Red?"
"Purple," she answered instinctively.
Shippo glanced up at her. "Purple?"
Kagome nodded.
Purple was the color of intuition and mystique. Those with purple in their aura tended to be reserved, contemplative, and strategic. Many leaders, royalty and otherwise, had purple auras due to their ability to foresee changes and adapt. They were protective of those whom they were close to, a trait she had already seen Sesshomaru display. When she closed her eyes, Kagome saw him bathed in purple light. It wasn't the vibrant magenta color of his stripes, nor was it the dark bluish crescent marking on his forehead. This purple was a shade in between— a balanced mixture of a red aura's aggressive and a blue aura's calm.
"Alright, if you say so," the kitsune said, returning to his drawings.
She rose from her seat on the nursery floor and went to the crib to check on Rin. The baby had been sleeping for a while now. Kagome expected she'd wake soon. It was almost dinner time.
With a smile, Kagome adjusted Rin's blanket. The little girl looked content in her surroundings. She was too young to remember her old life which Kagome considered a blessing. Rin would grow up in the palace, safe from the destructive forces that had claimed her village and her life. She would be protected, never wanting for anything.
Well, almost nothing.
Kagome stared over the crib and out the window. A beautiful cage was still a cage. Hopefully, in time, Sesshomaru would open up and become the guardian Rin deserved.
She caught glimpses of his compassion now and then. Offering to train Shippo, giving Kagome her own space— little things that seemed trivial but meant a great deal. Kagome couldn't understand why he fought so hard to act like he didn't care. What was wrong with being nice? Was it because he was a lord or was there more to the aggravating demon?
Kagome sighed. She couldn't figure him out.
The other night when she'd washed his hair, Sesshomaru was relaxed. Kagome thought they were finally making progress. He wasn't as guarded. He seemed almost happy. She had to admit that it was nice. Kagome imagined not many were given the chance to see him behave in an unreserved fashion.
Then there was this afternoon.
She'd been over that rendezvous at least a hundred times in her mind. No matter how long Kagome spent analyzing his behavior, she couldn't determine what she'd done to set him off. One minute they were discussing what was best for Rin and the next he was shouting at her about her uniform.
Kagome shook her head. Men. She didn't think she'd ever understand them.
Okay, so maybe she shouldn't have attacked him with her reiki, but Sesshomaru had started it. He grabbed her first. Absently, Kagome ran her fingers over her wrist. There had been a moment, right before her powers intervened, where she wasn't sure what was about to happen. It was brief, barely a flicker, but Kagome felt a tug. Strangely, it had urged her towards him, not away.
They had fallen into a frustrating push and pull dance. Kagome was so tangled up in it that she couldn't find a way out. She'd promised to help and he'd given her a deadline. He'd given her a place to stay and she'd run away. She'd offered to teach him and Sesshomaru had avoided her. Kagome had done what he asked for her penance and he had insulted her.
He was hot and cold. She never knew what version of him she would be confronting. It put her on edge.
Rin's cries interrupted her thoughts.
Kagome reached into the crib and picked up the infant. "Did you have a nice nap?" she asked, rocking Rin back and forth.
The baby made a series of noises that Kagome interpreted as 'yes' and reached up to grab hold of her hair.
"Oh, no. We aren't going to start that," Kagome reprimanded gently. "Pulling my hair is one thing but if you pull Sesshomaru's hair, you're going to be in trouble, little one."
Shippo scoffed. "Yeah, right. He's terrified of her."
"What?" Kagome inquired with a giggle.
"Well, it's obvious, isn't it?" Shippo asked. "He hasn't been by since the day you taught him to waddle—."
"Swaddle," Kagome corrected.
"—yeah, yeah, swaddle her. I think he's afraid."
"Afraid of what?"
Shippo shrugged, too busy coloring his latest picture to meet her questioning gaze. "Hurting her."
Kagome scanned Rin up and down. Was that why he had not shown up for lessons? Was he worried about harming the child he'd sworn to protect? Kagome struggled to swallow, feeling guilty as she realized how quickly she'd jumped to conclusions about his absence.
No wonder he was angry. She had accused him of not caring. The truth was he did care. He cared enough to stay away.
Her heart sank. She'd made a terrible mistake.
Sesshomaru wandered aimlessly through the corridors of the palace. His body was as restless as the beast caged within. Training had not yielded the desired result. He did not feel any sense of control, only more confusion and unease.
"What's for dinner, Akio? We're starving."
He froze, hearing the kit. He had not realized where he was until the scent of food wafted into the hallway from the kitchens.
Sesshomaru hovered near the door, listening in.
"I'm making your favorite," Akio responded.
"I'm never leaving. Let's just stay here forever, Kagome. We can get all the food we want. We don't even have to hunt for it!"
The cook chuckled.
"Sorry," came the miko's voice.
"Bit of a bottomless pit, isn't he?" Akio returned, sounding amused.
"Definitely," the girl agreed. Her voice was light, full of good humor and warmth. Sesshomaru's mood darkened. She rarely addressed him that way.
There was shuffling as they all moved around the kitchen. Sesshomaru tensed, preparing to leave. He did not wish to be caught eavesdropping but what the miko said next gave him pause.
"Akio, how long have you known Sesshomaru?"
"All his life. I have been in the service of this castle since his parents were mated," the cook shared.
"Did he have any friends as a child?"
"He has tutors, sparring partners, the typical attendants like any other noble demon," Akio answered, "but I can't recall any children his own age being here. Of course, my lord hasn't always lived here."
"What do you mean?"
"Well," Akio drawled with a sigh, "it's not really my story to tell."
Both he and the miko fell silent. All Sesshomaru could hear was the scraping of chopsticks against porcelain as the kit gobbled up whatever the cook had prepared for him.
"Because of Inuyasha's mother," the girl eventually surmised.
"Yes."
"I never really thought about how that must have been for him, I mean, to have his father leave and...," she trailed off.
Sesshomaru caught the scent of salt over her dinner's aroma. He leaned closer to the door.
"He must be lonely."
"Perhaps, though he'd never say so. Too proud. You can thank his mother for that," Akio remarked.
"His mother? Right. Is she here? I haven't had the chance to meet her yet," the miko went on, her tone laced with intrigue.
"And you should hope you never do."
"Why?" she asked.
"Lady Arisu does not see value in humans. The most I've seen her interact with one is by enjoying it as a meal," Akio explained.
He heard the miko gulp. The salty scent of her tears was overpowered by the acrid stench of trepidation and fear.
"Oh," she replied.
"Don't worry," the cook immediately began to reassure her. "Lady Arisu is not a resident of the Western Palace. She hasn't lived here since...before."
"Oh," the miko repeated.
From her tone, Sesshomaru knew she was not comforted by that fact. Instead, she appeared to be even more unsettled. He could feel her anxiety growing. It vibrated in the air, an energy too nervous to be contained.
He contemplated entering the kitchen, taking her aside, and speaking with her. Sesshomaru shook his head. He was being foolish. What would he even say to her?
Each time the girl was near, she confused him. He could not maintain a level-head in her presence. Irritated, Sesshomaru strolled away from the soft sound of her voice and the scent of her displeasure.
Kagome sipped her udon slowly. While Shippo helped Akio with the dishes, her mind replayed the conversation she'd had with the chef. Kagome had known about Inuyasha's father but she'd never wondered how his love for Izayoi had affected Sesshomaru.
He must have felt so betrayed, she thought ruefully.
If that had been his first experience with humankind, it didn't surprise her that he had agreed with his mother's opinion. Sesshomaru had lost his family and his home. Kagome could see why he'd view humans with disdain. He blamed them.
Which made his choice to save Rin even more meaningful.
She drew a circle in her broth, watching the ringlets of liquid dance around her spoon. Sesshomaru was strategic. He never faced an opponent without a plan. Though Kagome tried, she couldn't determine his endgame. What did he gain by saving Rin? And if he gained nothing then why did he care if she was raised in the Western Lands or by her in Edo?
Kagome concluded that he was lonely. A-Un was intelligent and attentive but Sesshomaru needed someone he could converse with, someone who didn't grate on his nerves the way she suspected Jaken did on a daily basis. The palace had once been his home. Now, it served as a reminder of his destroyed childhood. Maybe he thought he could rewrite the past by making good memories here with Rin, giving her the second chance he never had.
She smiled, hoping that was the case.
"Not hungry?"
Kagome blinked, breaking out of her daze. "Hmmm? Oh, not really. Sorry, Akio."
The old demon chuckled. "Not to worry. The kitchen is always open. If you change your mind, come by later."
"Thanks."
She glanced down at Rin, who was fast asleep in the sweatshirt sling. Kagome placed her hand gently on the back of the baby's head as she stood. She held the little girl against her chest, keeping the jostling to a minimum so Rin didn't wake.
Quietly, Kagome deposited her uneaten bowl on the counter. Shippo withdrew his paws from the tub of water he'd been using. He brushed them along his pants while Kagome shook her head.
"Are you going to read to us again tonight?" the kitsune asked as they headed up to the nursery.
"I only have my math homework left," Kagome replied. "I don't think you want to hear that."
"Oh, man," Shippo lamented with a disappointed sigh.
"You could color more while I finish it. Then, if I have time, I'll read you my English translation from last week," Kagome suggested.
His ears perked up. "Okay!"
She stifled a laugh, watching as he scurried ahead of her. Seeing him free to run and play made her wonder if Sesshomaru had been right. Was Shippo better off in a place like this, surrounded by other demons?
Kagome couldn't worry about that. Shippo had found them. She and Inuyasha had done the best they could to take care of him. Kagome pushed the question out of her head. She had to focus.
Math was her least favorite subject. Kagome was sure there would be makeup exams when she returned home. She needed to prepare. Getting into high school required a certain score and Kagome was determined to achieve it.
After all, if she could face down murderous demons, what was so scary about sitting for the entrance exam?
She groaned. At this point, she'd rather face Naraku head-on instead of taking the test.
Discouraged, she trudged into the nursery. Shippo was already busy coloring away on the floor. His tail flicked behind him as he drew the next page of his picture book.
Kagome set Rin down in her crib. The baby didn't stir. She'd taken to the formula and once her belly was full, she was out like a light. Kagome was thankful. It gave her a few precious hours throughout the day to sleep and focus on studying.
She plucked her textbook from her backpack. Sitting cross-legged on the floor by Shippo, Kagome turned her attention to the formulas on page 137.
Let's do this!
Sesshomaru was not certain what prompted him to visit the nursery in the middle of the night. The palace was still. Everyone housed inside the walls of his home was either asleep or quietly resting.
Each of his attendants had their own way to pass the time. Akio read. Ena, one of the maids, painted in the gardens. Dachi fished and his wife, Chizu wove reed mats to decorate their rooms. Everyone coped with the late hours in a manner that suited them. They were free to choose.
Yet, he found that he could not.
Sesshomaru had never been afflicted with indecision. His desires had always been clear. What he wanted, he obtained. It was simple.
Until now.
Given how conflicted his thoughts were, entering the miko's space was unwise. Sesshomaru knew he was taking a risk by being close to her but he could not deny his inner beast any longer.
The moment he stepped inside the room, his nostrils filled with her light scent. He found her hunched over by the wall, the kit curled up alongside her.
Sesshomaru frowned.
He scooped up the fox demon and laid him down on his cot. Then we went over to the bassinet. Inside, the infant was unconscious, her head tilted in the direction of the miko as if she had been peering out at her before they both fell asleep.
Turning away from the crib, he knelt by the girl. A book lay open on her lap. None of the symbols inked on the pages were familiar to him. Sesshomaru scanned the text attempting to identify what she had been studying.
The equations were complex. He had not realized women were permitted to study such advanced calculations. Intrigued, he flipped to the next page. Another series of problems were lined up. In the margins, the miko had made notations. Her work was sloppy but correct.
Sesshomaru closed the book, careful not to rouse her. After setting it down he lifted the miko off of the floor.
"Mmm, Sesshomaru?"
"You have a room," he reminded her.
She yawned, eyes drooping as she fought to stay awake. "I'm fine. I need to be able to hear Rin and Shippo if they need me," the miko told him, her delicate hands pressing against his chest.
"You can hear them from your bed."
Ignoring her sleepy protests, he carried the girl into her chambers. Her head lulled to the side, resting against his shoulder. One hand curled in the fabric of his kimono. The other fell limply to rest along his torso and her stomach. When he glanced down, he saw her eyes had closed.
Foolish girl. There was no need to sleep on the cold, hard floor. Sesshomaru had had a room prepared for her. He did not expect her to remain in the palace without a space of her own. Everyone under his care, even Jaken, had their own quarters. The miko was entitled to the same.
Maneuvering her under the sheets with only one arm was challenging. Sesshomaru set the miko down on one side, then tugged the covers down on the opposite. He shifted her over and drew the sheets up around her sleeping form.
He had never taken anyone to bed. He had grown up without siblings or any young relatives who may have required his assistance. Rin was the first child the Western Palace had hosted since Sesshomaru's birth.
When he straightened up, the miko's brow creased and her hold tightened on the silk. Gently, he pried her fingers free of his haori. She sighed, rolling over to nestle deeper under the covers.
Sesshomaru took his leave but not before pausing in the doorway. "Goodnight, Kagome."