Voices of Strangers

The caravan's wheels creaked noisily, mixing with the sounds of horses and the voices of strangers. Serenity gazed sadly out the side of the caravan, watching the smoke from various sources curl up lazily into the night's sky. What little sleep she had was fretful and plagued by nightmares. Cas sat next to her silently. Something had changed in Cas over the events of the past few days, she seemed like a completely different person. Or maybe this is who she really was, and she merely hid it from everyone. Cas was an enigma, as much a stranger to her as those surrounding them. Serenity didn't know what to say, nor did she want to make things any worse, so she too stayed silent.

Eventually, Cas turned to her. "You should be trying to sleep."

"I can't. I just keep having nightmares, it's too painful."

Cas leaned on her hand and looked away.

Serenity gazed around her. The people around them were a mixed bunch. A Breton woman, who was sitting next to a child of about five, held an infant swaddled in a thick woolen blanket. She continually hummed and rocked the baby, even though it hadn't made a sound all night. There was a pair of Dunmer men in Mages robes asleep in the opposite corner, two Redguards, a man and a woman, who were walking just outside and speaking quickly to each other in a foreign language, and an Argonian who was holding a candle and reading from a spell tome. Right next to Cas and Serenity was a bulky figure with a hood over his head, most likely an Orc, snoring loudly. She knew she was probably being paranoid, but Serenity didn't trust any of them. The Breton child, a boy with messy brown hair, stared over at her. She smiled at him but he didn't return it, nor did he look away. Unnerved, Serenity huddled closer to Cas and looked outside the caravan again. The pain she felt was a lot to bear, and it wouldn't subside. The overflowing emotions pulled her underneath their current and made her feel like she was drowning. Whenever she came up for air, she would remember her family and was crushed once again under the weight of all she had lost. She wanted to run, scream, do anything to stop the sharp edges of her shattered heart from cutting any deeper into her aching soul. But she knew there was nothing that could be done, and it made her feel small and helpless. As the tears constantly fell, she wondered if she would ever feel normal again.

Serenity was jerked awake suddenly. Sunlight was streaming into the caravan, and the other passengers were moving about.

"What is it? What's happening?" Serenity said, half asleep and in a panic.

"It's alright, it's alright," said Cas. "They're just stopping to feed and tend to the animals. Let's go stretch our legs and have something to eat."

They followed the others and stepped out of the caravan. Once outside, Serenity shielded her eyes from the sun and looked around at the scenery. They were near the coast, on the outskirts of a city. The cold sea breeze blew against her face, making her shiver.

"Where are we?" asked Serenity.

Cas gazed around. She put her hands in her pockets and kicked at the ground.

"That over there is Aldcroft," said Cas, nodding her head at the nearby town. "A port city in the Kingdom of Camlorn."

"Camlorn? We've come that far already?"

"Yes. Another few days or so of travel and we'll be in Bangkorai."

"Cas, do you know anything about this Terrence person we're meeting?"

"Not much more than you do, just that he's somebody who owes Addison a favor."

Serenity fiddled with the front of her top and gazed at Cas through her eyelashes. "Can we trust him?"

"If Addison does then so do I. We haven't got anyone else, so we don't have much of a choice. Look, just stay put for a second, would you? I'm going to go and buy us something from the carriage up there. Whatever they're cooking smells delicious."

"I'm not hungry."

"It doesn't matter, you need to eat. Stay here and keep to yourself, and for Y'ffre's sake, don't talk to anyone."

Cas turned around and strode off.

Serenity sat down heavily on a rock, looking around miserably. A few people came over from Aldcroft to visit the caravan, and she could hear them talking. The Baandari were merchants, so it made sense. Some people looked over at Serenity with curiosity, but she just pulled her hood up and looked away, keen not to attract any further attention. She stared into her lap and pressed her lips together, trying to think and work through her emotions. The breeze seemed to pick up a bit, and it started to sound like whispers. Serenity looked up, alarmed. The child from the caravan stood in front of her. Serenity stared back at him, wide-eyed. She remembered what Cas had said about not talking to anyone, but he was only a child.

"Um, hello… Where's your mother? You shouldn't wander away from her."

The little boy frowned. "Where's your mother?"

Serenity narrowed her eyes and looked at him open-mouthed. Children seemed to be getting stranger by the day. The boy took something from his pocket and held it up against the sun, looking at it with one eye closed. He took hold of Serenity's arm and put whatever it was into the palm of her hand. He then closed her fingers over it and patted them gently.

"Remember, you aren't alone," he said, smiling at her kindly.

She nodded, slightly shocked and taken aback.

Serenity watched the boy as he ran off and disappeared behind a cart. She put whatever he gave her into her pocket and hoped that he hadn't nicked it from one of the merchants. Getting into trouble for stealing was the last thing she needed.

"Hey, you okay?" said Cas, walking over with two wooden bowls and a loaf of bread. "No one's spoken to you have they?"

"Nah, just a strange little boy. He was harmless though."

Cas nodded thoughtfully. "Right. Where did he go?"

"He returned to his mother, I guess."

"Uh okay then. Well, I've bought us some food. We should be careful with our spending, by the way. Addison gave us more than enough to reach Bangkorari but, since we'll only be traveling along the coast, there's no way for me to get to a bank any time soon. I'm not sure what the plan is after we find Terrence, so this money may have to last us a while."

Serenity nodded as Cas spoke, half-listening. When she finished, Serenity clasped her hands in her lap. "I think I should try talking to Azura again."

"No, you bloody well should not. Serenity! Hasn't she done enough already?"

"I feel like I should. I mean, if she has caused all this, maybe she can tell me why. Give me some direction."

"Have you learned nothing? If you want to pray to someone, pray to… I dunno, Mara or something." Cas bit into a piece of bread and chewed it indignantly. "No more Daedra. I've had more than enough of them!"

"But she's like a good Daedra though, right?"

"There's no such thing," Cas said as she handed Serenity a spoon and shook her head.

"Isn't she benevolent and merciful? The Dunmer revere her."

"Yeah, they sure do, and look what happened to them. Red Mountain blew Vvardenfell all the way into the arms of Magnus."

"Oh, Cas…"

"I don't want to hear another word about Daedra. Now, eat your egg noodles. The Khajiit who served me promised she made this without moon sugar… but maybe only eat it slowly, just in case."

It was almost midday before the caravan moved on. This time, Serenity sat next to the door of the carriage so she could look out at the countryside as it changed. Some of her energy returned after she'd eaten, and she was feeling more human than she had in days. She leaned her head against the doorway, which made her vibrate as the cart traversed uneven ground. The light of the day slowly began to fade. Cas sat in their original corner, holding her arm up and playing with an Alteration spell which cast an intense, white light around the dim carriage. It caught the attention of the two Redguards, who were watching Cas closely. One was staring at her with wide-eyed wonder, the other beaming in adoration. Serenity looked at Cas and gently kicked her foot.

"Hey," she said.

Cas looked over at her. "Hey. What's up?"

"Thank you for coming, Cas. You have no idea what it means to me. You're all I have left," Serenity whispered, tears filling her eyes and rolling down her face. She smiled, and slowly leaned back.

Cas cocked her head to the side and smiled in return. "Anytime, Little Wren."

Serenity's mother used to call her that, and this was the first time Cas had used it since she'd left. Serenity knew that her leaving broke Cas as much as it did her, but she just wished she would talk to her about it.

The cart stopped suddenly, and they saw people walking around outside.

Cas got up and crawled over. "By Auri-El's sweet candied perfume, what's going on now?"

A man suddenly appeared at the door, making them flinch. He was tall, even for a Nord.

"Evening. Sorry about the trouble folks, but we have some rather unfortunate news I'm afraid. Chewy, one of our prized guars, has sprained his ankle. No way around it, we have to camp here tonight so he can rest."

"A guar sprained its ankle?" Cas looked at him incredulously. "Are you insane? An entire caravan convoy is being halted for that? Just put him up on a cart and let us be off."

The man shook his head quickly, with his eyes closed and lower lip pushed out. "Nope, I'm afraid that's not possible. Little Chewy has…. gained a bit of weight recently and, not to put too fine a point on it, he's too big for a cart. He's being a bit sensitive at the moment, so we'll let him rest his little leg tonight. We'll be off by mid-morning tomorrow."

With that, he gave them a terse nod and lumbered off before Cas could complain further.

"How ridiculous, sprained his little ankle… Oh, for Z'en's sake. This sets us back and leaves us unnecessarily vulnerable. Why must things always find a way to go wrong?" Cas slumped back in defeat.

The Redguard man approached the door from outside, and whistled to get the attention of his female companion who sat inside the caravan with Cas and Serenity. He gestured with his head for her to follow him, and she nodded and climbed out.

"High Rock sure gets cold fast as you head North," he said to Cas in a strong accent. "My sister and I will start a fire. How about you and your slim friend join us?"

"Oh…" Cas looked at Serenity and shook her head. "Listen, I don't—"

"You will be safe with us," he said, looking out into the night. "Whatever is out there that frightens you, travelers… well, just know that it has far more to fear from us."

Serenity took one look at the size of his muscles, and instantly believed him.

Serenity and Cas joined some of the others around a fire. They were thankful for it as the cold of night set in. A few people from other carriages also joined them. Two Khajiiti children were singing songs of a different language, their voices mesmerizingly beautiful, making Serenity feel nostalgic for a life she's never lived. A handsome young bard was telling an engrossed pair of Imperial women a story about The Last Dragonborn, and the two Dunmer in Mages robes were arguing about the disappearance of the Dwemer. The Redguards told Serenity and Cas that they were in fact twins, and their names were Mira and Mizhan. They were heavily armed and dangerous-looking, but were extremely friendly. They chatted happily with Cas and Serenity, but still gave the two women their space.

"Why are so many people traveling with the Baandari?" Serenity asked Mizhan.

"Times are changing. The Baandari are a welcoming and tolerant bunch, and there is safety in numbers. Traveling the wilderness or even the roads alone… well, I wouldn't recommend it to anyone."

Serenity turned back to Cas with a worried expression. "Do you really think we're safe here?"

"We're as safe as we possibly can be." Cas stared into the fire and gave it a strained smile.

Serenity moved her legs from side to side, fidgeting nervously.

"Cas… if you could do anything, what would you want to do?"

"I think our choices are somewhat limited for the time being. We'll do what Addison has told us to do."

Serenity paused for a few seconds before speaking again. She reclined back, leaning her head to one side. "Do you think my mother is still alive?" she asked, her eyes flicking from the fire to rest on Cas's face.

Cas looked at her harshly, but then her face softened. Serenity had lost her entire family in one day. It's only natural that she'd want to know if she still had any living relatives.

"Your mother… Lesianna is alive. At least, last I heard. There are many things that you don't know about her, things she never wanted you to know. I'll tell you everything, but you have to trust me when I say that now is not the right time."

Serenity sat up quickly and frowned at her. "What do you mean, not the right time? I think this is a perfect time. Why are you keeping things from me?"

"Serenity, you were a child when she left."

"I haven't been a child for quite some time. Why, Cas? Why have you said nothing?"

"Because doing so would only cause you pain. What's more, telling you everything would only raise more questions, more confusion. However," Cas said as she bowed her head, closing her eyes and holding up a hand to silence Serenity. "Your family is now gone, may their souls find peace in Aetherius. Telling you is only right. But I cannot do so yet, not when you've just lost so much. I will tell you everything I know, but only when I feel it's the right time."

Serenity glared at Cas, her pained eyes glistening with tears. Cas had been lying to her by omission for more than twenty years. She knew things about her mother, things she was never planning on telling her. With that, and the men who came to exact revenge on her father by killing him and the rest of her family, she was beginning to think that her whole life was built on lies.

"Hey," said Mizhan, looking at Serenity. "Where are you headed?"

Serenity turned to look at Cas.

"We're going to Bangkorai," answered Cas.

Mizhan crossed his arms and laughed. "Why didn't you just take a ship from Daggerfall? That would be much faster than a Baandari caravan."

Cas and Serenity looked at each other.

"We aren't exactly the seafaring types," Cas finally replied.

"There is no finer way to travel, lasses."

Serenity looked at him with curiosity. "Where are you guys going?"

"Jehanna eventually, to meet a contact. Mira and I are mercenaries of The Forebears. We were hired to guard the Baandari on this stretch of their journey. Since the civil war in Skyrim has come to an end, we move around a lot for work. Wherever we're needed."

"Is there much work for mercenaries?" asked Serenity.

"Always, lass, always. Are you two going to be okay to reach Bangkorai by yourselves? We could always make a detour and accompany you."

"Thank you, but I think we should be okay. We wouldn't want to inconvenience you," said Cas, as she sighed and threw a stick into the fire.

A homely Khajiit woman waddled around the carriages, handing out blankets. When she got to Serenity and Cas, she knelt down and smiled warmly. "It is a cold night, yes? This one is handing out blankets she made herself to those without fur to keep them warm. Would you like one?"

"Yes, please. Thank you so much for thinking of us." Serenity reached her arms out earnestly.

She made her way back to the corner where Cas was getting settled. Most of the others were opting to sleep outside by the fire, so they had plenty of room to themselves in the caravan.

"Hopefully when we get to Bangkorai, we'll have somewhere comfortable to rest," said Serenity as she settled down.

"Amen to that," said Cas, nodding and closing her eyes sleepily.

Serenity found herself thinking about the little boy and his mother. She realized she hadn't seen them since that morning.

"Are you okay?" Cas propped herself up on her elbow.

"Yeah, I just… I find it weird how I haven't seen that Breton woman lately, the one with the little boy and baby. Do you think they moved carriages or something?"

Cas narrowed her eyes. "What are you talking about? Who has a baby?"

Serenity sat up. "You know, the woman who was in the carriage with us last night. She was sitting just over there." Serenity pointed at the door.

Cas's gaze followed her hand, then slowly returned to Serenity.

"What? Don't you remember?" said Serenity, getting exasperated.

"Serenity, there was no one by the door last night… nor were there any children in here, thank the stars." Cas laid down and pulled the blanket over her head. "Maybe you were dreaming. Try to get some sleep, you must be tired."

Serenity laid there, feeling a bit creeped out. Were they ghosts? Did her grief-stricken brain imagine them, or was she going insane? All these thoughts began to give her a headache. Serenity put both hands on her head and squeezed it gently. All of a sudden, something occurred to her. Her eyes flew open as she remembered the conversation with the boy that morning. She put her hand in her pocket to search for the trinket he had given her. She couldn't feel anything at first and thought that maybe she did imagine him after all. But then her hand touched something, and she tightly wrapped her fist around it. Whatever it was, it felt hot to the touch.