Mattress shopping

All Leon wanted was a mattress. He didn't care if it was firm of soft, if it was a designer brand or a generic mattress. All he wanted was a simple mattress so that he might be able to get a decent night's rest.

His first mistake: Asking Selphie's advice.

"Oh no Squall, you have to shop at 'The Mattress Palace!' There's no where else. Their mattresses are completely, totally, awesomely awesome! Are you gonna shop there, Squall? Are you? Are you? Are you? Are you? Are y--"

"…Whatever."

His second mistake: Following Selphie's advice.

…………

There was a tuft of silver hair sticking out from under one of the blankets.

Riku loved his job. After all, nobody actually shopped for mattresses, so he spent most of the day huddled under the thick covers of a comfy bed, completely cozy in the air conditioned store.

Yes, here he could forget the troubles of summer break (because his life is just that dramatic) and laze and sleep the day away, while getting paid for it.

The only problem came when someone failed to see him and decided to 'test out' the mattress. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your point of view), someone had decided to 'test out' a mattress while Riku was sleeping in it.

"Ooooh! This one Squall!"

"…" Yes, the silence that echoed through the room sounded exactly like '…'

"Squall, you're so uncooperative!"

Then, two things happened at once. Riku's sleep muddled mind alerted him to the dangers above him and he sat up, hoping to get away, and at the same time Selphie shoved Squall forward onto the mattress, his leg hitting Riku straight in the chest as his body was forcefully sprawled diagonally across the bed.

"Oh look! Squall, we found an employee!"

"Sigh… Selphie…"

And then Leon looked down, just as Riku looked up. Alarms wrung in their heads.

"Um…"

"Whatever."

Leon, being a collected, sensible individual, attempted to stand, only for a sharp yelp to interrupt him.

"Stop! Your belt is caught on my hair!"

Leon paused, Riku paled, and a wicked smile appeared on Selphie's face as a plan formulated in her romantic, slightly twisted mind. Thinking quickly, she spoke.

"You gays-- I mean, you guys, wait here while I go get help! Don't move an inch!"

Leon and Riku blinked at her, watching as she turned around the corner of the secluded store, cackling evilly.

"She's not coming back, is she?"

"No."

"She scares me."

"Yep."

Silence reined for a few minutes as Leon kept himself precariously balanced, his groin directly above Riku's head, a huge knot of silver hair tangled in the one actual belt that held up Leon's pants.

"So, this is awkward…" Riku asked, his neck straining to follow his hair, his lips less than an inch away from a very, very private part of Leon's anatomy. A grunt was Leon's only response.

"You must have really good endurance to hold this position for so long."

"…"

"Wait, no! I mean, we could move into a more comfortable position."

"…"

A few more minutes passed. Outside, a mother and with three small children peered in slightly darkened window.

Leon and Riku blinked. The mother blushed, pulling her children away.

"Maybe if you take your belt off I could unknot my hair," Riku suggested warily, a faint blush on his face.

"Are you suggesting that I take off my pants?" Leon asked, lifting an eyebrow, despite the fact that Riku could barely see it.

"…"

"…Whatever."

Taking this as the closest thing he'd get to a yes, Riku's hands fumbled with the belt, trying to undo it without tearing his precious hair.

Finally, after what seemed like hours, the belt finally came off, and Riku fell backwards onto the mattress, a relieved expression on his face and a belt tangled in his hair.

"Riku! What are you doing? Actually, I don't care! You're fired!"

Riku's mouth opened and closed as he gaped at his boss. Selphie was standing behind the elderly woman, smirking in an evil style.

"You know, Riku, there is an opening at the restaurant where Squall and I work."

Riku blinked, realizing that this had been the evil girl's plan the entire time. Women... This is why he batted for the home team.

"…Where can I pick up an application?"