DISCLAIMER: One day people will know my name… Sadly, it will probably be for some criminal offence and not for writing Harry Potter or something like that…

A/N: You ought to be proud…I'm sick and I'm still typing cause I made a promise and I'm trying to keep it….

Chapter 22:

Sirius Black was not one known for running or hiding from a situation. However, sometimes things are known to change and this is one of those times.

Sirius Black was hiding and he was running….from Hermione.

He groaned as his thoughts shifted back to her for the nineteenth time in the past seven minutes. He just could not escape thinking about her….

Maybe he was wrong… Maybe he should have done as James had suggested and went after her. Maybe he should have chased her and apologized until she agreed to somehow forgive him.

But he was a stupid prat and let his pride get the better of him. He had done as so many males before him had done and did something stupid, refusing to apologize later.

"Finally decide that you were stupid?"

Sirius barely lifted his head to look at the person standing in the dorm doorway, a uninviting look on his face. "What do you want, Remus?"

The werewolf shrugged and walked over to the bed, taking a seat beside of his friend. Silently he thought back on all the times Sirius had stood by his side (minus the one time with Snape) and knew then that, though sometimes he acted rather rashly, that he was still his friend and he needed to be there for him, no matter what Sirius decided to do.

"Lily is on a rampage," he offered softly, staring straight in front of him and not over at his dark haired friend. "Just thought you'd like to know so as you don't walk in on one of her rants."

Sirius frowned and glanced at his friend. "Why is she so mad?"

Remus stiffened as if he had said too much and now didn't want to offer anymore information, but Sirius was having none of it. Finally, Remus relented to Sirius' badgering.

"She hasn't been able to find Hermione anywhere in the castle," he added, more quietly than before. His eyes were closed, fearing his friend's reaction.

The reaction was instant. "WHAT!"

Sirius was off the bed in an instant, pacing the floor while running his hands nervously through his hair, making his normally shaggy hair poofy looking.

"Padfoot," Remus tried to say tranquilly, "try to calm down. They're looking for her… they have like ten people out looking for her…."

"How can she just disappear?…" Sirius was mumbling to himself, ignoring Remus. "It's not like she could apparate…She's always telling us that you can't in Hogwarts….What if she's in trouble…Someone could have taken her or something…"

"Sirius."

"I mean, she could be out there somewhere…hurt…or worse…"

"Sirius."

"They could have snapped her wand and she'll be defenceless…"

"Sirius."

"She could be dead by now… Oh Gods, it's all my fault!"

"SIRIUS!"

Said teen paused, one foot still in the air, and turned to look at a now standing, ramrod straight body, hand clenched, thin lipped Remus. "What?"

"Will you just stand still for one second and listen to reason for once?" the werewolf stated, his voice holding no room for argument.

"But Moony," Sirius tried to reason, turning slightly and letting his foot touch the floor so that he could regain balance, "she's missing…."

"And she's also no longer your girlfriend," he pointed out.

Sirius' eyes narrowed on his friend. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

Remus drew in a deep breath, trying to regain his own composure so as not to say anything to send Sirius into a tidal spin. "Just that you relinquished any hold on her when you broke up with her," he said softly and calmly. "She may just be wanting some time… you know, to think things over."

"That's a load of shit, Remus, and you know it," Sirius said rather harshly. He ran a hand through his hair again. "Hermione always hid what she was feeling and put a smile on, pretending everything was alright. She never let anyone know that something was wrong. I know her better than anyone."

Remus frowned. "Then why are you referring to Hermione's way of dealing in past tense?"

That stunned Sirius. He hadn't realized he had been doing that. Hell, he never even realized that he thought of her in that light. Maybe he didn't know her….

Remus came over and clapped his shoulder lightly. "Look, mate, why don't you come down, avoid Lily of course, and help me look around for her. You know, just around in some places she may have disappeared to….places where she knew she'd most likely not be found."

Sirius started to nod but then paused, a weird gleam in his eyes as he smiled at one of his best friends. "Moony, I think I know where she may be…"

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The fierce lightning lit up the sky and the occupants on the ground, casting eerie shadows along the ground as the two opposing forces faced each other. It was almost time…

"Remus," a gruff voice said from the right, "how much longer do you think he will be?"

Remus sighed and glanced up at one of the werewolves who had joined up with the light to fight Voldemort, Death Eaters, and other evil magical beings. "I don't know Vallon."

The haggard werewolf nodded gruffly and turned to look out at the horizon with Remus. "He loves her, doesn't he?" he finally asked after a bit.

Remus sighed again and ran a hand over his face slowly, giving him time to think over his answer. "I'm not sure, but I have a strong suspicion that he does."

"That's dangerous, Remus," Vallon stated. "Not only to us and the rest of the Order, but to him as well. Love brings a weakness that we simply do not need at the moment."

"On the contrary, Vallon," Remus returned, "love can bring on the most powerful of magic ever seen. It was with love that Harry first took down Voldemort and I think it will be with love that he finally brings him down."

"You know as well as I do, Remus, that if he threatens her then Harry will lay down his wand like a good little hero, sacrificing all to save one."

"I don't think that," Remus argued though his voice remained steady and calm. "I don't think that at all. Actually, I think the exact opposite."

He looked over at the other werewolf to see Vallon giving him an intent look. "You are deluded, friend, but maybe that isn't so bad…especially at a time like this. Maybe one's dreams are far more desired than reality."

Remus remained silent for a moment or two, chewing over the lycan's words. What was reality…truly? "Maybe you're right, Vallon, but maybe it isn't a dream at all."

"Then what would you call it?"

"A belief?" Remus ventured, his amber eyes turning back to the horizon to look along Voldemort's forces. "A reason to fight? The future that may be if we win this battle?"

Vallon snorted. "I doubt that. A reason? Hmm, maybe you're right on that front. Maybe we do need a little hope to get us through this."

"I think we need more than hope," Remus remarked. "I think we need belief in our cause, ourselves, and, probably more than the others, in Harry. We need to remain strong and show that we are behind him, not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well."

"Easier said than done sometimes."

Remus smiled a small smile, turning to look over at the dark eyed werewolf. "Maybe so, but as you can tell, there are a lot of maybes out there and not a lot of doers. Harry is a doer, and I believe that he will do what is right in the end and fulfil his destiny."

"To kill him?" Vallon questioned, his eyes drawn down slightly as if considering this notion.

Remus nodded. "Yes, to kill Voldemort." He looked over at the leader of one particular werewolf group he had met briefly in the lower region of Czech republic. "You know what it takes to lead a group and you have seen Harry lead the Order since Dumbledore's death. I, myself, think he has done remarkably well."

"I fear I must agree with you one that," Vallon teased. He glanced up at the sky. "It should be dawn soon, though you can't tell it with the storm raging overhead. I hope he's back soon cause I doubt they'll wait long after dawn to attack."

Remus nodded. "He will be."

"Are you sure of that?"

Remus glanced back at him, his face set and his eyes uncompromising. "Yes, I'm positive."

"Good," Vallon said. "I must go check on those I left to watch over the tent and make sure that all is well. Peace, my brother wolf, and remember that it is in times like these that we learn the truth of ourselves."

Remus watched him leave and thought of his words. He frowned, his thoughts returning to what he had done… While saving one and maybe many, he had hurt one as well. However, that one was not here and therefore would never know.

He had not told Harry the whole truth of his past with Hermione. He had not disclosed the information because he had had an inkling of Harry's true feelings and therefore thought it better to keep it to himself. He had also somehow convinced those who had known her in the past to keep it hush-hush as well.

He glanced up, the clouds breaking slightly to reveal the dog star, seemingly watching over them. "Forgive me, Sirius, for what I have done. I did it not to hurt you, but to save the wizarding world. He needs her now."

He looked down at the ground, ashamed of his actions. "I'm sorry for helping to take her away from you…"

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Sirius squeezed through the crack in the rocks in which he had taken Hermione to with Remus following closely behind. He had faith that she would be here, waiting for him.

However, Sirius never did have much luck when he needed it the most.

When he walked into the little paradise, Hermione was no where in site. The place was completely deserted of any human life save himself and Remus. However, there was something there, something that shouldn't have been.

Sirius strolled over to a rock that sat beside the creek, picking up the crisp envelope that lied upon it. Upon it, written in startling green ink, was his name in Hermione's script.

"What is it?" Remus questioned as he moved to stand beside of Sirius.

"It's a letter…," Sirius said softly, "from Hermione."

"Well?" Remus said anxiously. "Aren't you going to open it?"

Sirius stared at the letter in his hand, sure that it couldn't say anything good, and shook his head. "I can't, not yet."

"Well, I can," another voice said from behind them, causing both boys to spin around quickly to see Lily and James standing there, looking at them.

"Lily," Sirius attempted to say, the letter falling to the ground.

"Don't 'Lily' me," she bit out, walking up to him and picking the letter up off the ground, slitting it open and reading over the contents, her eyes narrowing.

Lily stared at the male in front of her, a look of pure hatred in her eyes as her left hand clenched around the paper held there. Her right hand rose and with speed that rivaled that of a seeker, had struck him across the face.

"I hope you're happy," she spat, her voice full of venom. "I just want you to know that I blame you."

Sirius looked at her and quickly grabbed the letter out of her hand, reading over it. His eyes wide and unbelieving as the words sunk in. How could she….

"Lily," he stuttered, genuine tears starting to line the edges of his eyes, "I never thought..."

"That's just it," she shouted, advancing on him quickly and backing him into the wall, "you never think and when you do, it's just for one of those stupid pranks you think so highly of."

"Look Lily," another voice interjected, "he couldn't have stopped it from happening, just like none of us could have stopped it." The letter had, unknowingly been snatched from Sirius' hand by Remus and James who read it over quickly.

The redhead leaned back and glared at everyone around them, her body shaking from her anger. "Maybe he couldn't of, but maybe if he hadn't been such an ass in the first place, we wouldn't even be standing here right now."

"She's gone, Lils," James said, touching her arm slightly, "and there's no way of getting her back."

"There's always a way," Sirius said, snatching the letter back, his face chiselled from stone as he gave each of them a determined look before turning and storming away.

A/N: Happy mother's day! Prom was fun….watched a girl from my high school get arrested within the first ten minutes that we were there…very interesting. Oh wells…I worked very hard on getting this done so ya'll should be VERY proud of me :D

:hint:hint: if you're wondering about the letter, it may be posted in a certain place during this week :hint:hint: