Kurayami has never looked so happy. She was getting married to the person she loved since the day she met him, even though she was terribly rude to him before she confessed.
"I and Naraku are going to tie the knot!" She said to Maru-sha and Chiyo one day. They never seen her so…excited.
"What?" Chiyo exclaimed.
"What ever happened to 'I don't want to get married! I want to be a spinster!'"
Maru-sha chimed in, "You can't marry him!" Maru-sha shook Kurayami as if she has money on her.
"Why not?"
"HE'S EVIL!" Maru-sha and Chiyo screamed.
"That's EXACTLY why I'm marrying him!"
"He's lazy!"
"Feh, with me as his wife, he will start working like ev'rybody else!"
"He knows asexual reproduction!"
"Hey, that's pretty beneficial to me."
"Miasma!"
"Where I come from, our air was nothing but miasma."
"The absorbing thing…"
"Relax; I stop him from doing that."
"Nappy hair!"
"That's nothing. Besides, it's not nappy, it's wavy."
"He's ugly!"
Kurayami gasped, "He is not ugly! I don't understand, why can't you be happy for me?" Then Kurayami ran away sobbing.
Meanwhile, our friend Naraku was loitering outside Japan's finest jewelry store, devising a plan. See, he didn't have an engagement ring on hand when he proposed, and we all know the engagement ring is important. But he had to make due with what he had, and so when he proposed he gave her his heart. Anyway, Naraku got out a puppet of himself an ordered it to rob the most expensive ring in the store.
"Kill somebody if you have to," Naraku commanded. "I would do it myself, but I don't want to get my hands dirty."
"What an ass…" His puppet thought, and it glided into the store. A few minute and tons of screams later, Naraku's puppet came out of the Jewelry store.
"Well? Show me the ring!" Naraku ordered. The puppet mumbled something under its breath and pulled a box. It opened the box to reveal a beautiful 24 karat princess cut diamond ring worth 7,550 yen. Naraku just snatched the ring away from the puppet and put it in his pocket.
'Ungrateful bastard,' Thought the puppet, 'A "Thank you" would be nice!' And then of course Naraku absorbed it back into his body. Naraku happily ran off to his fiancé, not knowing someone witnessed the crime he committed and called the cops.
There were only three days until the wedding. Not very long, but everything was in order. The rehearsed the ceremony, which was a bust because Inuyasha was highly uncooperative. They had the rehearsal dinner, which was also a bust because Sesshomaru ate all the food in the restaurant. Right before the big day, the cops came looking for the couple. There were a lot of them too, including the S.W.A.T. team and police dogs.
"Shit! It's the Man, man!" Naraku cried, peering outside.
"Run!" Kurayami cried, grabbing him by the hand. They ran to the back door, but the cops were in the backyard. They ran to the attic, but they heard the police helicopter hovering above their heads. The cops kicked down the doors and caught the both of them, thus leading to the couple to court.
Everyone sat attentively in the courthouse awaiting the judge.
"This is a load of shit…" Kurayami whispered to her fiancé. "What are we going to do about the wedding if we're both going to be in the slammer?" Moon, who came to the hearing looking like a two-dollar whore, walked up to her daughter and bent over to her level. The men in the back of the room including the cops saw her tiny lacey black panties. Moon never wore shorts under her skirts and dresses.
"Aww, don't worry sweetie," Moon said to her daughter. "Things will be better for you!" Then she lowered her voice to a whisper, "I slept with the judge last night!"
"I'm SO lucky…" Kurayami muttered sarcastically. The judge burst through the doors still putting on his gown, and sat down at his podium. When he saw Moon, who winked at him, his nose started to bleed and fell out of his chair.
"Ahem," He said, popping back up. "Do you realize this is the tenth time you two are going to jail?"
"So?" Naraku added.
"This time, you, Naraku, have been charged for robbery and murder while Kurayami here has been charged for vandalism, bombing five buildings, and burglary. Do you have something to say about that?"
"Yes," Naraku said grinning. "I had fun doing it." Kurayami just giggled while everyone else started whispering.
"Well, I don't want to go to jail…for once…" Kurayami said to the old judge. "'Cause we're about to get married tomorrow."
The judge pushed up his bifocals and scoffed, "Does it look like I care? The law is the law, and the law says—" He stopped to look at Moon, who blew a kiss at him. "We came work some thing out! Maybe cut down to you're time by, oh, 98?"
"Yes!" The couple cheered.
"You'll still have to serve a week in prison. And as for your wedding…"
The prison had to extend its visiting hours just so people could actually come on time to see the wedding. Kurayami walked down the prison courtyard in a long grey wedding gown with red pinstripe and handcuffs. Down the aisle, Naraku waited for her, also in handcuffs. The judge pushed up his bifocals and started the ceremony.
"We are gathered here today to join these two criminals in holy, or not, matrimony." The judge said. "Do you Nar—"
"Yes I do!" Naraku interrupted, "And she does too, right Hon?"
"Right!" Kurayami replied.
"Get to part where I kiss her now! Or so help me I'll take your guts out and—AHHHHHHHHHH!" A police office that was right next to him shocked Naraku with a taser.
"…Fine. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the criminal!"
After that was done, two police officers took off Kurayami's handcuffs and handcuffed her too Naraku, then grabbing their free arm and leading them down the aisle. Everybody was emotional, especially Sesshy and the prisoners, who were bawling. The two spent they're honeymoon in Solitary Confinement, because they made too much…"unmentionable" noise in their regular jail cell. The event was all over the news, even their mug shots/ wedding pictures. The both of them were holding up the middle finger at the camera, while handcuffed together and holding a sign that said their names and numbers.