Ok so same thing that was on New Divide, applies to this too. Things were kind of hard on me over the last few weeks in both my professional and personal life; and trying to write has been a chore instead of enjoyable. Here is an attempt at updating and trying to find my catharsis again.

Breaking Point

Silence is the enemy. Thoughts raging and feelings aching. Isn't there anyone out there that can see; the truth that I cannot face or speak? For I know not the truth, nor can I describe the feelings I feel. How can I put to words the burdens I harbor? All that I know is the pain is real.

Suffocation

Loneliness

Sadness

Frustration

Is there no one there that can look passed the façade I place day to day?

I try, ok?

I try to be open.

I try to do good.

I try to be there when no one else is. How hard is it for someone to do the same?

Communication? A sham.

Talk? Well, that is all there is.

Actions? Non-existent.

Why do I have to be the one to reach out first?

Why does this always fall on me?

How can no one look me in the eye and just know…know that this isn't me?

A mirror tells a story. It shows me things I do not like. Perhaps what lays on the inside? Eyes are windows to a soul; however why does it seem like my eyes are empty?

It cannot be true.

I feel things. But do I feel things enough? Do I show it enough?

Sure, I can talk about to others and what they are feeling, so why is it so hard to come to my own. To voice my own thoughts and emotions?

Maybe it would make it too real? The devastation I sometime feel?

Inadequacy

Useless

Worthlessness

Clearly, I am damaged. Broken perhaps beyond repair. I may not belong anywhere.

I should be used to it, for I never did. Maybe once upon a time that wasn't the case, recently though…well I'm not proven wrong.

I thought I found a semblance of happiness, it felt good for a bit, until like smoke, it vanished through my fingertips. I do not understand what happened. I do not understand what changed. Communication fell through, or perhaps it was one-sided and that was that.

Why do I hurt? Why do things have to change? Life was simpler before the rain. When did something inside of me begin to die?

I have no reason to feel like this. I came from a good and loving family as well as a team that I can always count on. I like to think we are strong, supporting, and stable. So why? Why do I feel so damaged sometimes, like I don't deserve it at all?

Ruby pauses in her writing. She had meant to return to the dorm, but had chickened out half way there. Instead, she had found a quiet and secluded spot in the academy's library where she could hide and be left alone. However, as she re-reads her writings, she has to fight the strong urge to tear the page out and light it on fire. This is supposed to be fine, she reminds herself with an edge of bitterness, so why does it feel so wrong?

She sits back and crosses her arms. She knows why it feels wrong. Not to say that she doesn't feel this way, but because she was avoiding the main topic…and the very people that she knew who could maybe help her, "I want you to focus on the Vytal Tournament. I want you to walk through the moment and the feelings you had then compared to now."

Again, she re-reads the words on the page and rethinks her previous thoughts. She supposes that this is linked to the tournament. After all it took her having a…episode? Her frown deepens at the usage of the noun. What else would you call those violent flashbacks? But that word made her sound…sick. Mentally sick and she knew she wasn't that…was she?

Anyway, it took for her having that moment of weakness for her team to realize that perhaps she needed help. Why didn't-why couldn't they see in the beginning when they reunited that something was amiss?

"Because I didn't want them to." She answers out loud, closing the book with a snap. She runs her hands over her face before resting her chin on folded arms that are crossed over the book.

She was supposed to be the leader. They were supposed to count on her, and for the most part, they did. In the beginning, she thought it was important to be strong. After all there were people, a lot of people that she needed to help; and help she did. But now, she frowns darkly as she pushed herself away from the table, no matter what she did now, nothing gets better. If anything, it only gets worse.

Making a decision, she starts to pack up her belongings, but those very dark thoughts continued to swirl in her head. Echoes of her one of the many lessons her leadership class had been about, "Sometimes when the times are tough, you just got to trust that the gods have a plan."

Ruby snorts. The gods. What did they know? Hell, they partially caused all of this. What did they expect to happen when they gave a homicidal sociopath immortality? Her head was pounding now and she sighed deeply.

There had to be a way to make this all right; but those thoughts were on part of the assignment. After all she was supposed to be thinking about herself…as selfish as that sounds. But then again, according to Doctor Stevens it wasn't selfish to think about herself in this case. It would be selfish to do the opposite.

"I can't do this." She says out loud and sits back down, hiding her face in her arms, "What the hell is wrong with me?"

"Nothing is wrong with you." Ruby's head snaps up and she sees her team standing around her and it was Yang that spoke. Her sister came closer to her and frowns, seeing the tears that refused to fall, "Ruby-?"

Ruby shakes her head and stands up, backing away from Yang while whipping her eyes, "What-what are you doing here?"

"We came looking for you. It was getting late and we got a bit worried when we didn't hear from you or see you in the cafeteria." Weiss said calmly, trying to not spook the reaper.

Blake senses the shift in posture and notices how Ruby is trying (and failing) to look for alternate escape routes. It is a habit she was well versed in, "We just wanted to know if you wanted to get something to eat." She says simply, trying to not come across that not having heard from her team leader wasn't that all big of a deal.

Once their session was over, they had gone to see Jaune and the others just to simply hang out and to have their own little talk. It wasn't anything too personal, after all they had agreed anything personal in therapy between the teams stayed between the teams or the individual. What they did discuss was whether when they thought they could officially be 'reinstated' as hunters.

Ruby watches them, searching for some type of lie. Seeing none, and yet seeing that there was more than what they were saying, she opts a defeated sigh and considers this a 'trial by fire'. Motioning them to the table, she retakes her seat as they too gather around, a cold unease settling around them, "You want to talk about the incident last night." Ruby says eventually allowing the goliath to be noticed in the room as she slowly pushes the notebook to the center of the table.

"We don't have to." Yang is the first to comment pushing the book back towards Ruby.

"Only if you want to tell us." Weiss adds, "We are not going to push you."

Ruby shakes her head, "I really don't want to have this conversation, but it is a conversation that needs to be had…" She trails off and pulls the notebook close to her, just to push it away and bring it back.

They sit in silence for a few more minutes, waiting patiently. Blake still senses the need to run from her team leader and friend; and as she stole looks with the former heiress and brawler, they too feel it radiating from the reaper as well. Ruby shakes her head and stops playing with her notebook, "It was an assignment from Doctor Stevens." She started out by saying, "He wanted me to write about how I felt when she didn't come home."

We knew it, was the immediate thought they had as they still sat silently all the while cursing the doctor for putting Ruby in this position as the young huntress continued, "I do not think about that night very often. I mean I think I did have a fleeting memory of it when Uncle Qrow was injured and in a fevered state when Jaune and I were carrying him when we were trying to get to Mistral. That was it. Other than that, it…really isn't spoken of."

Yang looks away this time, seeing as Ruby voiced the exact same thing she did when they were in their session a few hours before, "I can't exactly tell you why that particular memory was triggered per say. I guess it was the part where I was trying to write from her perspective a bit? Trying to defend her. After all she was just doing her job. A job that we know to have hazards beyond our control and outcomes we can't exactly predict." Ruby shrugged, trying to play this off as no big deal.

Weiss reached out and took the hand that was about to start playing with the notebook again. She gave her hand a squeeze, "You were young, you didn't understand at the time though…did you? How could anyone expect a young child to understand?"

Ruby wanted to pull away, but she didn't. Instead, she briefly looked at Weiss before averting her eyes to the damned book, giving it a glare as if this was somehow it's fault for all of this, "I didn't. Couldn't. I wanted to have hope that Qrow was lying. That our father was lying. That is why I went to Yang. She never lied to me once." Yang looks away again, the raw feeling rising in her, "And she was always looking out for me. Always had the answers. In my mind, if anyone could help me save mom, she could."

Under the table, Blake reached for Yang's prosthetic hand and gave it a squeeze to show her support as the brawler sighed sadly, "I'm sorry Ruby. I-"

"No Yang, I should be the one apologizing. Maybe when I yelled at you about trying to act like mom, it also triggered this. After all you had to play three roles when we were growing up: sister, friend, mother. You took on the responsibility and never had time to really be a kid, much less process this either." Ruby lets go of Weiss's hand now, and chooses to cross her arms and lean back, "In fact I am such a brat because when you needed me, I left…like she did. Maybe I am destined to end up like mom after all."

"SHUT UP!" Yang yells eyes blazing as she rips her hand out of Blake's and slams both fists on the table, "Don't you dare say that again." She growls angrily before settling down by taking a deep breath, "Yes you leaving the way you did sucked. I pushed you to leave though, so most of that is on me. However," she looks right into Ruby's eyes and motions to Blake and Weiss, who were unphased by the violent reaction to Ruby's statement, "you have something mom didn't have, and that is a team. We are with you and will not leave your side."

"She is right Ruby." Blake states as a moment of silence ended to allow Ruby to process her sister's words, "We are here for you, no matter what."

"And I wouldn't be a very good partner if I left now." Weiss added, "You promised me that I wouldn't be alone in Atlas, and I promise you that you will not be alone in this."

Ruby nods and closes her eyes, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill. They can tell there is more to this and wait patiently, "Well that isn't all there is. There is more to this notebook. Something else that I…that I am having trouble with."

"What is that?" Yang asks gently now, "It's ok sis. You can tell us."

"Will I still be your sis? You friend? Best friend?" Ruby asks each of them in turn looking at her sister, her friend, and her BFF.

"Of course, you dolt. Nothing you have to say will change that." Weiss says, wondering why Ruby would ask that.

Blake too is wondering the same thing, especially after all they went through when she had revealed herself to be a former member of the White Fang, "Yes Ruby. Nothing you say will ever change that fact."

Ruby now looks at them, trying to find the lie. Yang is the only one who doesn't verbally answer, but she doesn't have to seeing as her expression is answer enough. Ruby lets out a shaky breath and nods, "He wanted me to either talk to you guys or write in this journal of what I am feeling. Pretty much the assignment was anything, however he wanted me to write about the…Vytal Tournament."

There is a pause and they knew why in that instant the doctor mentioned the tournament. Winter and Qrow's explanation coming back to them after the incident in the training room, "Because of the aftermath of the election." Blake said in understanding.

"Yeah. That is why. I started writing my report on that disaster, but I guess somewhere the two scenes began to merge?" Ruby stated in a questioning tone as she adjusted her posture so she was leaning forward this time, and using her awkward hand motions as if that would help describe the story she was explaining., "I know I am not making sense, but when I thought about Penny up on that stage and everyone starting to accuse her of harming those people…" She trailed off.

"You were thinking about what happened to Yang." Weiss finished as she stole a look at the blonde.

Yang closed her eyes as now she too thought about what happened. Just something else she thought she had gotten over, but was now slowly trickling back to the surface, "Yeah I was thinking about Yang and Mercury's fight. How everyone thought she harmed him. It was just like that moment." Ruby stops talking for a moment, the memory of that night after the election comes to mind:

Bloody civilians lay on the floor. The rest of the crowd is standing back from the massacre, crying and yelling hysterically. She feels the utter horror as she takes in the scene while Marrow looks around in shock. A civilian is holding pressure on one of the victims of this atrociousness and uses the one hand to point at Penny, "It's Ironwood's robot!"

Robyn's voice echoes in the room as people start looking with disgust, "Penny."

Ruby looks over just as Penny turns to see Robyn staring at her with distrust. Penny folds her swords and puts them away, and she holds up her hands in a manner of surrender and trying to pacify the angry crowd, "I…I didn't-"

That is where that memory ends and another one replaces it:

Atlesian Knight-200 droids and two Soldiers circling the Huntress-in-training and raising their guns to her sister, "Yang Xiao Long, stand down!"

She is horrified as she sees the pure confusion on her sister's face. She wants to do something, anything, but she stays rooted to her seat as she hears very clearly Yang's voice, "What!? Why!?"

Emerald had run down to them, and tries to comfort Mercury as he is screams and falls over in pain. Watching all of this, Ruby then sees the realization dawning on her sister before looking into the audience for them. Out of the corner of her eye she sees the equally terrified looks on Blake and Weiss's faces, and she knows her expression is easily matched, unable to hide her own emotions. Next thing she knows the Knights are raising their guns at her sister and the audience starts cursing her name as Mercury's voice echoes, "WHY DID SHE ATTACK ME?!"

"Ruby? Ruby." Yang calls over to her sister as she notices Ruby's eyes glazing over. Yang reaches out and grabs Ruby's shaking hand, as Blake grabs the other and Weiss places her on her friend's shoulder.

Ruby jumps up suddenly away from the table, away from her team. Her breathing is heavy and labored as she rubs her eyes, "Get away!"

"Ruby it's us!" Yang calls out.

"Can't…I can't…" Ruby shakes her head, trying to clear it.

"What do we do?" Blake asks, afraid to take a step closer.

"She is going to start re-living the tournament if we try anything." Weiss comments.

Yang looks on, swallowing as she tries to think of the events that happened next, "We can't have her focusing on that again. We have to try to get her to focus on something else." She states.

"But how?" Blake asks looking at her partner.

"I…don't know."

Weiss looks at Ruby as she starts pacing and muttering silent, tear tracks starting to form. Last time this happened, Ruby responded to her, so maybe the same thing could happen, "Ruby. Ruby focus on me ok?" Weiss calls out as she slowly makes her way over to her partner, "Ruby? Come on. I got you. Trust me."

"Weiss?" Ruby shakily calls out, "I can't…"

"You can. Focus on me. Tell me five things you can see. Right now."

"Fire. Destruction. Grimm. White Fang-"

"No. No. Come on, look at me. Please, look at me. Trust me you are safe. We are safe." Weiss went over to Ruby now and gently placed her hands on her shoulders. Hesitantly, Rub opens her eyes and stares into Weiss's gentle blue eyes, "There you go. Now let's try again. Five things you can see."

Ruby takes a deep breath and focuses on Weiss, "You."

"Yes, now four more." Weiss encouraged. It was a simple exercise she was taught when she first started singing in front of people and stage fright would kick in. She looked behind her and motioned to Yang and Blake to say something.

"Ruby we are here for you." Blake said as she slowly stepped forward towards the red and white pair.

"You got this sis."

"Blake. Yang." Ruby listed now as she reclosed her eyes. Suddenly, there was a bang and yelling outside. Ruby went to the window, startled for a moment until she swallowed and took a breath when she saw the scene was in celebration and not in panic, "A weapons test of some sort and people celebrating."

"Good!" Weiss exclaimed, "Ok now four things you can feel."

She gently placed her hands on the sill, "The window sill." Blake held out her hand and Ruby looked at it before taking it, albeit slowly, "Blake's hand." Yang did the same with her prosthetic. Ruby swallowed as she looks at the yellow and black metal hand:

She sees Weiss at the docks outside of Beacon. They greet each other, but seeing the crestfallen look on the heiress's face, she asked what was wrong. Weiss says nothing and instead steps aside, giving Ruby a clear view of Blake and Yang lying on the ground.

Both girls have bandages wrapped around their wounds, and the latter is unconscious. Behind them sit Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren, who are too battered and bruised to fight. Blake reaches over and places her hand on Yang's, "I'm sorry." The faunus cries out as she curls in on herself as she keeps a hold of the brawler's remaining hand, "I'm so sorry."

"Ruby?" Yang pleads as she watches her sister's face pales as she stares at the arm that had genuinely excited her when she first saw it when they reunited. Instant pain hits her when she takes a step forward and her sister takes a hesitant step back, "Rubes please. It's ok."

When she makes to move towards her sister, Weiss holds up a hand. Lavender eyes flare red, "Yang wait please." Weiss pleads gently, not at all phased. When she doesn't back down, Weiss looks to Blake for help.

Blake nods and goes to the brawler, whose eyes then dull a bit, but still have a red tint to them, "Easy Yang. Let her come to us."

Yang relents and pulls her hand back away from her sister and allows Weiss to continue to take the lead. Weiss nods to Yang and refocuses on Ruby, who is once again starting to panic, "Ruby. Hey focus on me again. It's ok. Close your eyes and hold out your hand." Seeing the uncertainty in the once optimistic silver gaze, she says, "Trust me." Ruby concedes and Weiss takes her hand gently, "Now what do you feel?"

Ruby keeps her eyes closed but answers, "Your hand."

"Good. Ok one more…" Weiss reaches behind her and motions Yang to come over slowly. She pulls away from Ruby, but guides the reaper's hand to the brawler's own prosthetic, "Now what do you feel?"

"Yang." Ruby breathes out as she opens her eyes, silver orbs glistening as they meet sad lavender. She jumps forward and gives her sister a hug, "I'm sorry. Yang I'm-"

"It's alright sis." Yang mutters, her darker memories of that day now fading back to where they belonged in her mind, "Come on. Let's go back to the room."

Ruby nodded as Weiss gathered her things and Yang led her away from them. The monochrome pair hung back a bit and watched as they walked away, "That was a nice idea." Blake comments as she grabs Ruby's bag.

Weiss picks up the book and stares at it sadly, "I used to have panic attacks before singing in front of people when I was starting out. It was something my coach had taught me to help ground me." She hands the book to Blake to put in the reaper's bag.

They finish gathering her things and start to make their way towards the dorms, "I know this is no one's fault." Blake says after a moment of silence, "But I just wish we would have known about this sooner."

Weiss didn't need to ask for clarification, "She just hid it so well. Although I know what you mean. We just have to have hope that this little break through today is enough."

They approach the hallway where the dorms are and slowly make their way to the room, "I suppose we all have our own prisons that we live in. Each one unique to the person inside." Blake comments.

Weiss knows about internal prisons, having been stuck in one and only recently started to fully break free, "Our escape plans then cannot be the same. Knowing how to escape your prison does not help me escape mine. We are all on our own when it comes to escaping."

Blake nods, "Part of that I disagree on. True what worked for me may not work for you; but having someone to support you doesn't make you totally on your own. Either way it is definitely nice to know that escape is a possibility."

"Agreed, so we don't stop trying to help Ruby escape her prison." Weiss said opening the door, to see Ruby laying her head on Yang's lap on Blake's bed and Yang running her fingers through Ruby's hair. She gave them a sad look and they quietly close the door behind them.

Blake placed Ruby's bag on the desk and took a seat next to them, "I'll start the tunnel?" Blake whispered to Weiss.

"I'll find a map." Weiss said.

Yang didn't have the heart to ask what the monochrome pair was talking about; however, she knew if they were talking about Ruby escaping this seemingly hellish prison she was in, then she would gladly get the dynamite to help. Hell, she would provide the ignition to blow it sky high given the opportunity. But seeing that Ruby started to open up to them, she would take this small victory and hoped that more was on the way.