Someone once told me it is impossible to write sarcasm...I beg to differ.
Harry 1: Canon Harry
Introducing the normal Harry that we as fiction writers strive to manipulate, either he is scorned by his friends and Dumbledore, rebellious against being used as a weapon, falling for or going Slytherin or just throwing a hissy fit. Not here, here Dumbledore is still dead as JK Rowling has just killed him off. Sirius is still dead because if he wasn't this wouldn't be canon. Harry's parents are dead and no miracle in the world is going to bring them back and just to keep things interesting, Luna is still a bit foggy in the attic.
Our canon Harry is back at the Dursley's as promised awaiting Bill's wedding, after which he will follow through with his plans to visit the last living residence of his parents and then their graves in hopes of finding something. Then he shall journey fourth to find the Horcruxes and ultimately defeat Voldemort. He will then be a saviour to the wizarding world or, in an incredible twist of fate that will delight fanfiction authors everywhere, become the next Dark Lord. This will also serve to make the book 'more adult' and so increase its already ridiculous popularity.
Or at least, this is what Harry though was going to happen.
Harry 2: Slytherin Harry
Harry is sixteen and in Slytherin, Draco Malfoy is his sidekick, lapdog, thing and everyone thinks he's a Death Eater-to-be. He's rivals with Ron Weasley, is incredibly powerful, regularly scorns the mudblood bookworm in Ravenclaw known to her tormenters as bucktooth Grunger (mainly due to excessive black clothing and make-up brought on by frequent bouts of depression) and is seeker for the Slytherin Quidditch team. You see, as much as we may dislike the personality of this Harry we cannot deny him his talent.
He's very good academically in every subject, him and Snape live to make hell for those in Gryffindor and he went to live with Snape after deliberately defying Dumbledore and leaving the Dursley's. Twisting people around his little fingers is a hobby and he has connections all over the major political influences across the globe. A valuable asset that Voldemort seeks to obtain, with no idea of the prophecy, which is the same for him as for canon Harry, he carries on happy with his life.
Many powerful pureblooded wizards recognise the Potter inheritance that he wrestled from the clutches of Dumbledore and so bow to its sphere of influence. Those that defied him because he was half-blooded and tainted with the stains of his mudblood mother were cut short by displays of shear power that could ultimately shake the world. This Harry planned on stripping Voldemort and Dumbledore of the black and white world they were trying to create and fashioning his own utopia.
Or at least, this is what Harry thought was going to happen.
Harry 3: Underdog Harry
Now, having given birth to a beautiful baby boy, having been physically connected to a child that essentially contains half of your very DNA, a baby boy that could have been killed in an attack by the darkest wizard of the century you, being Lily, have naturally forgotten all about him and now treat him like a slave in favour of doting on your saviour of a son. Having given birth to a second baby boy a year later and having been out at a party with your charming husband and his band of friends from back in the day on the night of Halloween you come home tom find your house on fire.
Your two baby boys safely rescued and sleeping in your arms both marked with scars, one a lightning bolt on your older son and one a diagonal line on your younger son, Dumbledore then shows up. He reminds you of the prophecy and tests the magical cores of the two boys. Finding the younger to be stronger he tells you that the younger is the boy-who-lived, he has relieved the world of the darkest wizard for the past century.
You are delighted, drop everything to do with your older boy and you and your husband shower the younger with gifts, love and attention while leaving the other child to fend for himself. That other child is Harry Potter and this Harry Potter has had to spend the first sixteen years of his life overshadowed by his younger brother who is average at best, regularly falls of a broom and craves attention. You are the family servant and your best friend is a house elf. You excel in most classes, except of course potions but that's only because your teacher thinks you're some kind of spoilt brat, a carbon copy of your brother who in actual fact looks nothing like you. Whereas you take after your father in height and hair you have you mothers emerald eyes. Your brother however has brown hair and brown eyes, is rather plane looking and yet thinks he's king of the world.
You figured that you would live your school life belittled by him, shadowed by him and once you were out in the real world your connection to fame would at least get you a decent job because you weren't going to be an Auror without a potions NEWT and at the rate you were going that wasn't going to happen.
Or at least, this is what Harry thought was going to happen.
Harry 4: Spoilt Harry
Not frequently used because frankly it makes for a dull story line and sheer lack of plot. Harry defeated Voldemort; everyone knows that, on Halloween in the early nineties. Lucky for Harry his parents were out and left behind an auburn haired babysitter named Becky who unfortunately died in a "fire started by a local gang" which made a good cover story for muggles. It explained the people in black robs, it was Halloween, a gang that wore matching uniforms, it made sense, setting fire to a house…so they had something against the occupants only one person died everything was alright.
The Potter moved back to their original residence, the Potter Estate, left to James as the sole heir after his loving parents died. Sirius, who is still Harry's godfather, frequently inhabits the guest quarters, as although he has a steady income as a successful Auror he cannot seem to hold down some form of home. Since Voldemort was out of the way and the Death Eaters were being tried under veritaserum and getting themselves thrown in Azkaban as a result the Potters procreated again.
This time they were blessed with a baby girl whom they thought would be a good influence on Harry. Being brought up in the wizarding world subjected Harry to his fame and he so becoming addicted to it. Marigold Elizabeth Potter got less and less attention as Harry became more and more demanding. Harry is now sixteen, Marigold, Mari to her friends, is two years below him at the tender age of fourteen and is currently going through a nasty stage of acne. Something that can be easily cleared with a few charms but she did not inherit her mother's natural ability with charms and since her parents are always so busy and Madame Pomphrey will on only cure what she deems injuries Mari is stuck as she is.
Harry lives for attention and loves to cause trouble that he can instantly blame on his sister. As such he loves his life and he believes that due to his fame work is not required. He just gets by in school and intends to live off the Potter fortune and sees no need to pursue a carrier.
Or at least, this is what Harry thought was going to happen.
Harry 5: Death Eater Harry
Voldemort never acted, strange I know but this time Snape was busy with a potion so Voldemort never found out about the prophecy. Since he never went after the Potter's Pettigrew didn't have any information to give to Voldemort but nobody liked him anyway so he moved to South Africa and nobody ever saw him again. As such the Potter's never went into hiding but Voldemort was never defeated. Three children later the Potter's are still happily married with their sixteen year old Harry, thirteen year old Michael and their ten year old Tulip, Tula to her friends.
Harry is the disappointment of the family ever since the sorting hat put him in Slytherin but is still very talented. His father's all-round talent and skills on the Quidditch pitch shine through almost embarrassingly so considering the boy's interests in the dark arts. He is an accomplished pianist and violinist and used to regular play for the entertainment of his parents and younger siblings but ever since his second year has gone surprisingly dark.
Everyone suspects him to be a Death Eater, but no one has ever proved anything. Harry is closer to Snape than his father would like and Draco Malfoy worships the ground the Potter boy walks on. Michael hates Harry but Harry was grown to become an impassive, handsome young man who is well spoken but very secretive. His sister appears to be the only one who still holds hope for him to return to the light.
No one has any facts on Harry but they all think Harry will become a Death Eater, Harry thinks he will too but for his own reasons.
Or at least, this is what Harry thought was going to happen.
Harry 6: Dark Veela Harry
This particular plot is not often exploited as it is much more convenient to humble the proud Draco Malfoy by putting him through a painful transformation into a veela that will search for a mate using a keen sense of smell and mental sensory. Normally said mate is either a depressed, confused or completely rejecting Harry but in this instance not only is Draco Malfoy a veela looking for a mate but Harry is a dark Veela.
The thing about Dark Veela is that they actually, upon transforming at the tending age of twelve, get a brief flash of who their mate is. Harry is painfully aware of Draco's lust for him and run's away from it at all costs. Ron has dropped him, associating the work "Dark" in "Dark Veela" to mean the same kind of "Dark" as in "Dark Creatures". Yet, being the ever exploited hypocrite stereotype of the hot tempered red head Ron Weasley, Ron still likes Professor Lupin who is a Werewolf which, by reputation are not only "Dark Creatures" but dangerous. Hermione is still Harry's friend though, trying an occupation though it is. Due to Harry's frequent mood swings brought on by his not finding his mate and procreating the relationship, he is difficult to deal with sometimes.
Reverting back to a plot supporting stereotype of Dumbledore, whose eyes are twinkling just so everyone knows, he is of course secretive, manipulating and will drop Harry like a hot potsticker (which I can't spell) when Harry has defeated Voldemort. You see Dark Veela, besides seeing a flash of their mate, also have control of one element. The element is allocated at random and the same ability may be shared by more than one hundred Dark Veela at a time, or at least it would be if the species wasn't practically extinct.
Harry is ironically a lightning elemental and lucky for him a Dark Veela has been hired to teach Defence Against the Dark Arts. The curse on that position also makes for a helpful plot line or a healthy mary/gary-sue insert who of course is either related to, pair up with or murders one of the main characters. Harry thought he was doomed to a life of misery, tide down to a blonde Slytherin he currently feels nothing but an indistinct pull for, chased around by a horny Dark Veela that's out for his powers and a bit of ass and of course, manipulated by Dumbledore.
Or at least, this is what Harry thought was going to happen.
Me 1: Author Me
Now that you have been introduced to the six Harry's and the ridiculous plot lines they find themselves strapped into I shall introduce to what is going to happen. Due to a twist of fate, a magic mirror, a potion gone wrong, a stray wish, an explosion of magic, a fit of rage or whatever excuse you prefer because ultimately they will all achieve the same thing, all these Harry's are going to switch dimensions and be forced to fix things before something else goes wrong.
Now, each Harry will take on their own separate story since doing them all in one would create mass confusion and world wide panic. However I'm only going to follow one at a time so it is up to you, dear reader, to vote for the Harry of your choosing. Be warned you don't know what dimension they will end up in, I reserve the right to choose for myself but you get to pick which Harry I send first. Oh and by the way...I'm gunna start writing in 24 hours so that's how long you have.
VOTE NOW
If you have not read the bit under the heading Me 1: Author Me then you are an idiot and need to go back and read it.