Disclaimer: Do I have to go through this all again? Don't own the X-Men or anything related to them...Angela, Buzz and certain mutants are all mine...

Chapter 8.

(Angela)

Don't let the movies fool you; crashing a roadblock isn't as simple as speeding towards a barricade while a couple of cops with a Clint Eastwood complex dash out of the way at the last possible moment, while the cars blocking your way explode into a fireball of epic proportions. In reality, the cars don't explode. We were parked behind an old warehouse just off 8 Mile, trying to figure out how to get out of the city. The guy on the radio was saying they had every possible exit point blocked and an APB out for me. It seems that no one got a good look at Logan, for which I was grateful, but it didn't help us too much in getting out.

I chewed my bottom lip while I tried to figure out the best way for us to get out of here. I was certain that some of the freeway ramps would have less coverage than others; it was just a matter of figuring out which ones. I had a sudden inspiration and called Buzz again.

"Dahell do you want now?" He said immediately.

"How'd you even know it was me?" I asked.

"Uh, there's this thing on most cell phones called 'caller ID'. It lets you know who's cal…"

I cut him off. "You're funny really." I said. "Look, can you hack into the Detroit police computer and tell me where the roadblocks are the thinnest?"

"It'll cost you extra."

"Like I care."

I heard the sounds of typing followed by a few grunts and more typing. "Aha!" He exclaimed finally. "There's a couple you could try. One is about a mile and half from the Ambassador Bridge, which will you hook you up with I-75. There's another one at the Lodge, but there's also road construction near that one."

"Thanks Buzz, you're a lifesaver." I said and broke the connection. Logan looked over at me with his eyebrow raised. "We've got one that'll work. Let's go." He just grinned and I started the car. I got the distinct impression he was spoiling for a fight and at the moment, I couldn't blame him.

I approached the roadblock cautiously. There was only one car, but three cops were standing in front of it. I didn't even have to tell Logan what was going to happen, I just gunned the engine and rammed the car onits left side. True to form, the cops dove out of the way. Logan sprang from the car as I brought it to halt just beyond the barrier, popping his claws and tearing into the car to disable it. I hopped out and went to work on the cop that was just standing and bringing up his gun to take aim. I slid my own claws out and took a swipe at his arm, cutting deep enough to sever tendons and he dropped the weapon. I picked it up and tossed it into the overgrown grass next to the onramp. I am my own weapon; guns are for puss…wimps. The cop took a swing at me with his nightstick, but I dodged it easily and smashed a fist into his forehead, pulling it enough to just knock him out for a good long time. I noticed with great satisfaction that it was one of the same assholes that didn't want to take the report about my vandalized club, so I gave him good solid kick in the ribs for good measure.

I heard a gunshot and turned just in time to see Logan giving the remaining cop on his side a look of murderous rage. I didn't even have time to react; he was on that cop so fast it was a blur. His claws slashed through the gun, slicing it into pieces and bring his other claws down on the cops' forearm, just barely pulling it in time to not sever the limb. He finished with a massive backhand to the cop's head, retracting his claws at the last possible second. He dropped like a stone and Logan kicked him in the head to make sure he was out. He looked around for more enemies, but there was just me. I raised an eyebrow and looked at the cop on the ground next to him. He just snorted and said "He'll live."

We dashed back to the car and got on the highway. The whole incident only took a few seconds, but it felt like it had lasted much longer. Adrenaline was pumping through my system and I had to keep backing off on the gas pedal. I could hear Logan breathing heavily next to me and I knew he was in the same place I was. I couldn't help but think back to the weeks immediately after he and I had split up to throw Stryker's men off our track. I'd wandered from place to place for a while, hitching rides, but eventually the pain of our separation would get to me and I'd pick a fight with some poor, unsuspecting guy just to give me someone to vent my feelings on. Through all the conversations we'd had over the past couple of weeks, I knew that Logan had been doing a lot of cage fighting up in Canada to help keep his more lethal urges under control. Oh yeah, I understood him more than he knew.

We finally made our way to Romulus, which is technically where the airport is. I figured it would be easier to find us a car to boost in the long-term lot there. Sure, there's security and stuff around there, but it's not nearly as tight as it could be. We drove to the back of the lot and found a pickup that looked like it had been parked here for about a year. Logan insisted on driving it, he said that women driving pickups looked fucking silly. I was too tired to argue, coming back from the dead is more exhausting than you can imagine. I just told him to take I-94 west and to wake me when we got to Ann Arbor before settling down in the seat and passing out.

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You're running through the woods, but it doesn't make any sense. One moment, it's the heavy dampness of deep jungle, the next you're in the dense pine forests of northwestern Canada. Your ears are assaulted by a million conflicting sounds: gunfire, thunder, angry shouting, passionate cries. A bright flicker of lightning blinds you momentarily and you lose your footing, slipping down a slope into a steep ravine. You hear ragged breathing off to your left. You approach the sound with caution, only to step to the edge of a slow moving stream in the midst of another forest at midnight. You shake your head in confusion, the images coming so fast you can't make sense of them. It takes you a few moments to realize you're dreaming.

As soon as you reach that conclusion, the scene before you freezes. You peer into the gloom and you remember this place. Some random politician or military officer, you don't remember all the details anymore, but you and Wolverine had been sent here to "take care" of him. That was what Stryker always said when he sent you out to kill someone, "You're going to go take care of him for me". What you're seeing now is what happened when the wet work was all over.

There'd been killing, the senator (or was it an officer?), some hired guards around the hunting lodge, four or five of them. You still had blood on your face where it had sprayed from a ruined throat and your hands were sticky with it. Wolverine had been all but covered, but he usually was on missions like this. He really got into his work when he let go. You had stripped to your skin from the waist up, but he'd gone into the water before you, gloriously naked. You'd been partners for almost a year at this point and the attraction you had for him was growing. But he seemed content to just be your partner; he sure as hell hadn't made any moves towards you.

Until tonight.

The water was icy when you plunged your head and arms beneath the surface. You came up with a gasp, tossing your hair behind you and splattering diamond droplets that glittered in the moonlight. Wiping the water from your face, you looked up…and he was standing not four feet away from you, staring, the look in his eyes unreadable in the dark, even to your hypersensitive eyes.

This is the frozen scene you see before you.

"I'm dreaming." You say this out loud, then clap your hand to your mouth for fear of breaking the spell, but the scene stays intact. You move cautiously into the water until you're standing midway between his figure and your own, positioned so you can see both in stark clarity. You look at yourself kneeling on the bank of the stream, droplets frozen in time on your skin, a tendril of hair falling just over your right eye. You're taken aback at the way you used to look back then. You're still attractive, but there's a hardness in your bearing that you've since lost. The only part of you that isn't holding anything back is your eyes. You're staring at Wolverine with a deep sense of need that had been long unfulfilled. You remember how that felt and it breaks your heart.

You turn and approach him, wondering what you might see now that you're outside the scene. He's standing there in the water, moonlight frosting the tips of his hair while obscuring most of his face in shadow. The scowl lines that normally score his forehead are gone, his mouth no longer set in what you thought was a permanent half-frown. The whole of his face is softened, his lips parted as though he wanted to say something. You lift your gaze to look into his eyes; the look you couldn't read all those years ago is now plain for you to see. And what you see is the same need you felt reflected back to you tenfold.

And it breaks your heart.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I awoke with a jolt. The first thing I noticed was that the truck was no longer moving. The next thing was Logan with his hands on my arms, shaking me into consciousness. Sweat was pouring out of me in veritable rivers and I felt like I couldn't breathe. It took me a moment to realize that the dampness on my face wasn't only sweat, but mostly tears. I'd been crying in my sleep.

"Oh God, Angela. Don't scare me like that." Logan said, a frantic look in his eyes.

"What happened? Where are we?" I sat up in the truck and looked around. We were in a rest area and we seemed to be the only car there at the moment. I swiped the moisture from my face with a grimace.

"I'm not sure, on both counts." He replied, settling back a little in his seat. "One minute, you're sleepin' peacefully. Next thing I know, you're cryin' and sayin' 'I didn't know' over and over." He smoothed the hair from my forehead. "Didn't know what, darlin'?"

I took a deep breath and released it with a shudder. "I'll tell you later. We have to keep moving." I closed my eyes again, but I could still see him standing in the water, looking at me. I quickly opened them again and looked around. "I think we're pretty close to Ann Arbor anyway, so lets just get there and worry about this later."

He scowled at me, but started the truck back up and pulled back onto the highway. About ten minutes later, the Ann Arbor exits came up and I directed him downtown. We drove the streets for a few minutes before finding a place to park. It's just stupid to try and park anywhere near where you're actually going in this town. It's always best to find the first space you can and walk everywhere. We didn't bother locking the doors, since we wouldn't be needing this truck anymore anyway. We just grabbed our packs and slammed the doors behind us. After taking a quick survey of the immediate area, I led Logan down the sidewalk towards the place we were going.

I let him stay on full alert. It's funny, really, how much it almost felt like we were on a mission. I was the one with the main objective and he was there to watch my back, wary of any and all possible dangers. I shoved my hands in my pockets and just acted casual.

A few minutes later we arrived at Crazy Wisdom. The downstairs part is a new age bookshop that sells everything you can possibly imagine. The second floor is devoted to a teashop that always has several varieties of exotic teas on hand and some of the best scones I've ever eaten in my life. A bell tinkled as we entered and Logan sneezed almost immediately.

"What's wrong?" I asked, placing my hand lightly on his arm.

"This place reeks of lavender and…and…" He sneezed again. "And all kinds of shit." He looked at me with a pained expression. "You mind if I wait outside?"

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. I wouldn't say he looked pathetic (at least not to his face), but he definitely looked supremely unhappy. I nodded. "No, go ahead. Just stay out of trouble, ok?"

"Hey, you know me darlin'." He said over his shoulder as he left the shop.

"Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of." I mumbled after he'd gone. I shook my head, smiling, then headed upstairs to the teashop.

I glanced around when I got to the upper floor and spied Buzz sitting off in a more private area, a tray of tea and pastries on the table in front of him, his laptop propped on the side of his armchair. He glanced up as I approached and gestured absently to the tray in front of him. "Help yourself, thought you might be hungry."

I sank into the armchair next to his and grabbed a scone. "Thanks, I'm famished." I took a bite and savored the cinnamon and apple flavor. "So, how's it coming?"

"Nothin' I can't handle. What'd you do, off the mayor?"

I gave a short, bitter laugh. "I wish it was that simple."

"Yeah, I figured that much. Somethin' ya think ya should tell me?"

I considered him for a moment. Buzz was a genius, but like all kids with that particular gift, he was also somewhat of an outcast. His hair was a violent shade of blue and hung over his forehead. He was easily as tall as Logan, but if he weighed more than 130 pounds, I'd eat my shoes. His nose was a little too long and too sharp for his face, which was almost round in shape. He wasn't unattractive, but he really didn't seem interested in anything that couldn't be conveyed in zeroes and ones, so I don't think he cared much about his looks. Not that he was one of those creepy kids who never bathed, quite the contrary. He just didn't have much time for people unless they "played the game" too. I really liked him, so I decided to come clean.

"Yeah, there is. But I'm sure you've figured it out." I took a deep breath, then leaned in and whispered to him. "I'm a mutant." There, it was out.

He actually stopped typing and gaped at me. "No shit? Cool. What can ya do?"

"Retractable claws, catlike agility, enhanced hearing and eyesight and nine lives. Well, more than that by now, but it's what I call it."

"Cool. So that really was a morgue photo I purged."

"Yeah it was." I ate some more of the scone. "I probably don't have to say this, but please don't tell anyone."

"Shit, like anyone I know would care. We're our own breed of outcast. Hell, I could probably set up a whole network to help people like you, if there was a need for it someday."

Now there was something I hadn't thought of. Mutant fear was still growing, but it was worse in some places than in others. If there was a way for mutants to "disappear", maybe they could find a little peace. "Buzz, you might be onto something there. Let me think on it for a few days, I'll shoot you an email when I get where I'm going."

"No prob." He typed a few more things, then smiled and closed the computer. "Ok, there's a guy on Liberty who has your papers. He's the best there is, you'd think they were all legit he's that good. Strictly cash only, but I'm sure you knew that." He scribbled the address on a napkin and handed it to me. "Now, I'm sure you need wheels, so go see another guy out on Stadium. He's legitimately got a car for sale. It's not much, but it runs and he really needs the cash." He scribbled that info on another napkin. "I got the IM that you activated your locks at home, I assume your old partner will need me there soon?"

I nodded. "Yeah, withintwo days or the whole system is fucked. And Buzz, if he needs anything you take care of him you hear me?" He nodded. "Good. I gotta run, thanks for everything." I reached into my backpack and handed him an envelope. "Here's your share and a little extra to keep me out of the papers and whatnot for at leastthree days." I stood up and he followed suit. I suddenly realized that I was going to miss him and hugged him impulsively. "Take care of yourself, stay outta trouble."

"I will. Lemme know about that other thing, will ya? It'll be fun."

"Will do, Buzz."

I left the teashop and collected Logan just outside, smoking a cigar. Leave it to him to find a tobacco shop no matter where we are. We made it to the address on Liberty where I collected my new identity, one "Melissa Arthur", age 27, blond hair (this guy was a Photoshop ninja to make me look like a real blond in that pic!), and hazel eyes. Well, she'd do for now. Once Buzz was done, you'd be hard pressed to prove that Angela Rex had ever existed, much less lived in Detroit and I could go back to just being me. We hopped a bus (much to Logan's indignation) to the address on Stadium and purchased the car. Buzz was right, it wasn't much but it would do for now. For an extra fifty bucks, he even agreed to let us keep the plates for a week, which should be more than enough time for us to get to wherever we were going. I thanked him and after arguing with Logan over who got to drive (I lost) we were on our way again.

As soon as we got on the expressway, I was at a complete loss. I really didn't know where to go, since I hadn't planned on having to run any time soon. It broke my heart to leave my club and my little bar behind, but I had always known it would probably happen sooner or later. I slumped in the passenger seat, staring out the window at nothing. A while later, I felt Logan take my hand and squeeze it, so I looked over at him.

"I'm sorry I brought all of this on." He said. "And I'm sorry I killed you again."

I almost laughed. "You didn't. The rebar did that."

"But it was my stupid ass drivin' the bike and if I hadn't been going so damn fast, I…" He looked at me hard. "What kind of protector am I? I promised to protect you and I keep killin' you. I swear, I'm cursed."

"No, Logan, it wasn't your fault. It was a stupid accident, that's all. It's not your fault the guy ahead of us lost control. It's not your fault that 'always land on my feet' doesn't include 'and can avoid any sharp object at high velocity'. We're mutants, but we're also still human."

"I know, but still. I shoulda been thinkin' and I wasn't." He squeezed my hand again. "Maybe we should split up again, it was safer for you that way."

I couldn't help it, I punched him as hard as I could. And since I have metal knuckles too, along with years of training, it actually hurt him. For a few seconds, at least."Listen to me. I spent I don't know how many years grieving for you. It took me so long to stop expecting to see you come around the corner, I didn't think I'd ever stop. Every time I smelled a cigar, I thought it was you. I eventually had to force myself to think that you were dead because it was easier that way, easier to believe I could never have you than to believe that you were still out there and nowhere to be found." I squeezed my eyes shut to push back the tears that were threatening to spill. "Logan, you told me once you were nothing but an animal, a predator and dangerous, but it's not true. I can't begin to count the times you risked yourself to keep me safe, both during and after Alkali Lake. Yeah, we have some animal qualities, but we're better than that, you're better than that. I know I still can't convince you otherwise, but if that's true for me, then it's true for you too."

The look of shock that crossed his face simply can't be described. He looked at me, then back at the road, not saying anything for a long while. We finally came to a rest area and he pulled off the road, switched off the car and turned to me, determination in his eyes. "Angela, you are not an animal. You don't have to spend every minute of every day beatin' back the rage. When we went through that roadblock and I was fightin' those cops, I had to remind myself not to kill them, remind myself that they weren't the enemy, they were just doin' their job. But the bloodlust is there, the desire to kill is always there. The only time I don't feel it is when I'm with you. And it seems like even when I'm with you, somethin' happens to make me kill anyway."

"Damn it, Logan! Haven't you listened to a thing I've been saying these past couple of weeks?" I ran my fingers through my hair. "It seems to me that you have some misguided notion that I'm more innocent than you are, that I didn't do as much as you did. Let me tell you, you are very wrong if you think that. I was there for over a year longer than you were. I have a much higher body count than you think I do. And the only weapons I've ever used to kill someone is these." I raised my hand and slid my claws out. "Sure, you have your claws, but I have to get real up close and personal to kill someone with these. After a while, you stop feeling bad about doing it. Not long after that, you start to enjoy it. And I really enjoyed it." I put my claws away and clenched my fist. "If you think for one minute that not killing people is easy for me, then maybe you should go before I decide to prove you wrong…on you."

Logan stared at me, startled by my outburst. "Hey, I never said I didn't believe you about the things you did. But you just seem, I don't know, so much more human than I feel."

"It's all a front, don't you see that? I've spent the last fifteen years cultivating this civilized persona, while deep down I'd rather be running through a forest somewhere, chasing down the one witness that got away just so I can listen to him beg for his life." Tears burned in my eyes and I turned away, wrapping my arms around myself and curling up as small as I could manage in the bucket seat. "I used to tell myself it's what any mother would do to protect her child, that it was my mothering instinct that made me so vicious. But when I was alone at night after a particularly bloody mission, I knew it was because I just liked it. It took me a long time to push it down, get it out of my system. I can't say for sure how successful I've been, except that I haven't killed anyone in a long time. Mostly due to lack of opportunity, but that's my only real excuse."

Logan put his hand on my shoulder and turned me to him. "Look, you did what you did out of fear for your daughter's life. And take it from me, you're not the only one who took delight in killin' those people. I was there, too. I might not remember all of 'em, but I do know that when I did it, it was pretty satisfyin'." He sighed. "Ya know, right before Stryker died, he told me I was nothin' but an animal, he just gave me claws. Seems he lied about the claws, so maybe he lied about the rest of it."

"That's pretty much a given, I'd say." I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "Look, it's been a rough day. Let's get as far as Toledo and we'll figure it out from there, ok?"

He nodded, then leaned over and kissed me. We made the rest of the journey to Toledo in silence, but I couldn't help but think to myself "Am I still a killer?" It was a chilling thought that hadn't haunted me in a very long time, but now seemed here to stay for a while.

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AN: Many thanks to those who have expressed well-wishes for my mom...she's improving, so whatever it is you're doing, keep it up! It's helping:) Much love to Zac and Turiel Tincdaniel, my beta testers for everything...also, love to the Big Kitty (he knows who he is!) for his boundless enthusiasm...:)