Disclaimer: It's around here somewhere...the first ten chapters have it, nothing has changed since then...

AN: This chapter and the next take place at the same time, so you get a double update today! Who do ya love?

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Chapter 12.

(Logan)

I have to say, finding out that there really might be another way to get back all of my memories made every nerve in my body hum with excitement. I was already so grateful to Angela for giving me back so much, but the thought that I could get it all back was overwhelming. We stayed and talked to Chuck for a little longer, but I was so restless that I asked him if we could just continue later. He probably knew that I needed to work off some of this new energy, so he let me go without argument. Angela stayed behind with him.

I considered going to the Danger Room, but I actually didn't feel like beating shit up. Rogue was in class, so I couldn't go talk to her. And the entire planet would be consumed by nuclear holocaust before I confided in One-Eye about anything. With few choices left, I decided to go for a run around the school grounds. I bolted to my room (now "our" room, since Angela would be sharing with me) and changed from my jeans into one of the thousand pairs of "Xavier School" sweats that could be found everywhere in the mansion, leaving my tank top on. I kicked off my boots and trotted outside in my bare feet.

I paused on the patio and did a few stretches to warm up before setting off at a fast jog. The school grounds are an interesting mix of open grassy areas, woods and there's even a stream that runs along the westernmost border. I tried to run the entire perimeter at least three or four times a week, partially to blow off steam but also to make sure that everything is secure. Whether anyone wanted to admit it or not, Stryker's invasion of the mansion had affected everyone deeply. Some of the younger kids still woke up crying and a few of the older ones had taken to patrolling the halls at intervals through the night. Chuck didn't like it, but I could understand why they did it. No one wanted to be caught lying down in case something like that happened again. I made a mental note to talk to Chuck later about doing more to beef up security around here.

My run took me from the back lawn to the edge of the woods and I entered the cool shade gratefully. The birds fell silent and small creatures stopped what they were doing as I passed, leaving the place in a silence so deep I could almost feel it. My thoughts once again turned to the conversation that had just happened in Chuck's office. It was kind of a relief to find out that maybe I could get everything back, all the way to wherever and whenever it is I come from. I remembered Angela had said something to me about stories I told her from World War I. I did some quick math on that and even if I'd enlisted at the minimum age of eighteen, that would make me over one hundred years old right now. That left eighty-five years that were more or less a complete blank to me. The thought stopped me in my tracks.

Jesus fucking Christ. Did Chuck know or even suspect I might be that old? Did Angela? Could this have something to do with how Stryker knew about me? Could I have met him in a war at some time or other? Damn it, every time I thought I was getting close to something good, a thousand new questions reared their ugly heads to just complicate things further. Not to mention, if I really was over a hundred years old, what kinds of things had I left behind? Did I have any family? Had I ever been married, had children? Was I the oldest living person, much less the oldest living mutant? It was just too much.

I walked over to a massive pine and sat down against the trunk, clutching my head. What would happen if they figured out what was wrong with me and all those missing years came back all at once? The memories of Angela and the time I actually spent at Alkali Lake had come back pretty gradually until the previous day. But that was really only about a year of my life. Much as I wanted to believe that I'd be able to hold it together, I knew what was most likely to happen. I'd go completely feral, unable to deal with that much information all at once and the animal would take over until it all processed through my subconscious and I could handle being human again. It wasn't a thought that made me happy. In fact, it downright scared me.

I didn't want to let go like that ever again. The last time it happened was the escape from Alkali Lake, a memory that was now so clear to me I almost wished it would go back the senseless blur it had been before. Although I was eager to see, now that the whole thing had been revealed to me, if the dreams wouldn't stop. Sure, with Angela around, I slept a lot better than I had in a long time. But even with her there, the dream had still come and I almost cut her damn leg off in the bargain. Shit, how would she feel, knowing she was with the oldest man on the planet? Talk about your May – December romances.

Then again, she'd hinted that she was older than she looked, too. Hadn't she said something like, "anyone who says time heals all wounds hasn't lived as long as we have. If everyone could have more than 80 years, they'd know"? What did she mean by that? She also had a healing factor, so maybe it was slowing her aging, too. Or maybe her nine lives thing restored her body to a physical state that was close to her apparent age of thirty or thirty-five. I would have to ask her about it.

I stood up and continued my run. Unfortunately, by the time I got back to the main part of the school grounds, some of the classes had let out and there was a group of girls including Jubilee and Kitty Pryde lounging around on the grass. I knew some of the girls in the school had some kind of crush on me, but those two didn't try to hide it. As I jogged past them I could feel them ogling me and whispering to each other. I didn't bother to try and listen in; it was probably a variation of the "hunka-hunka-burnin'-Canadian" that they liked to call me. If it wasn't bad for image as a tough, mean guy I would have been completely embarrassed. I settled for tossing a scowl in their general direction and kept going.

I made it back as far as the patio before Rogue came bursting through the glass doors to intercept me. "Logan, there you are!" She said as she trotted over to me. "I've been lookin' all over for you."

"Sorry kid. Had to clear my head. What's up?"

"Nothin'. Just wanted to see how you're doin' and all. We haven't seen you in weeks." We walked over to the reflecting pool and she sat on the edge. "But it looks like your vacation did you some good. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you almost looked happy."

I scowled at her. "Ah, don't kid yourself. I still have plenty of shit goin' to keep me surly for the next decade."

"You know, no one here would hate it if you were a little less surly."

"Don't hold your breath. There won't be a 'kinder, gentler' Wolverine for a long time."

She giggled. "Well, I'd say your secret is safe with me, but everyone already knows that you brought someone back with you." She looked up, squinting her eyes in the bright sunlight. "So who is she anyway?"

So, here it was, the real reason she cornered me out here. I sighed and sat next to her. "She's someone I knew, back at Alkali Lake, before these." I said, holding up my hand. "She was my partner and we did…a lot of bad shit together. She helped me escape."

"Is that why you left, to go find her?"

"No. I didn't even know who she was until a couple of weeks ago." I told her about walking into Angela's bar and just about everything that followed, with some heavy editing for adult content. "And now we're here."

"Wow. I mean…wow." She said looking stunned and if I wasn't mistaken, a little hurt. "It must feel great to have found someone who knows so much about you."

"Let me tell you, kid, it really does. But even with all these new answers and new memories, there's still a hell of a lot that I don't know. Even more than I thought."

"What do you mean?" She asked, frowning.

"Mmm, nothin' I wanna talk about, not right now. I'm still gettin' my head around it myself." She gazed up at me, looking even more hurt. "Look, it ain't personal, ok? It's just…this isn't the time, all right?"

"It's ok, Logan. You know I'll be around when it is time." The other kids started making their way into the mansion for lunch. "I gotta go. I'll see ya later." She smiled and followed the crowd back inside. I sat back down next to the water.

Damn it, why did this have to be so complicated? I knew Rogue had a crush on me; hell, half the girls did. But I could tell by the way she looked and smelled that she was jealous. It made me wonder if she had thought I was going to wait for her to get old enough to think of as more than a kid sister. As far as I knew, she was still going out with Bobby, but was she just dating him as "Mr. Right Now"? I groaned at the thought. Yeah, she was a sweet kid and all, but that's all she'd ever be to me. And with the new revelation that I was probably old enough to be her great-great-(how many greats?) grandfather only brought that home for me all the more. It suddenly made me feel even further removed from the people around me.

I stood up quickly and stalked back to my room, suddenly feeling the need for seclusion. I stripped off my clothes and got in the shower, just letting the hot water run over me, trying to wash away the feeling that I was still alone. How could I let myselfget any closer to anyone when I was probably going to live, stay young and strong, while everyone around me eventually died? Whether from sickness or accident or act of God, I would wake up one day to find that everyone and everything I knew was never coming back. Jean had only been the first in my memory.

My knees suddenly felt weak and I slid down the wall to sit under the beating of the water. What if I was wrong about Angela and I'd have to watch her die too? Just the thought was unbearable to me, how would I ever live with the reality? I searched through my newly found memories, but I couldn't find anything that led me to believe that I'd left her on that road all those years ago to avoid that possibility. But I also didn't find anything to let me believe it was anything other than a very real possibility. I was gripped by a sudden need to see her, hold her, to remind myself that she was real.

I dried myself quickly, pulled on my jeans and a clean shirt, then wasted five minutes trying to find both of my boots. I jerked the bedroom door open and walked quickly downstairs, back to Chuck's office. He said, "come in" before I had a chance to knock. I will always hate it when he does that.

"Hey Chuck. I was lookin' for Angela."

"I'm sorry, you missed her. She left a few minutes ago." He looked me over. "Logan, are you all right?"

I nodded. "Yeah, fine. Where is she?"

"I don't know. I don't make it a habit of keeping track of people once they leave my office, you know." His eyes narrowed and he looked me over again. "Are you sure you're all right? You seem especially troubled right now."

"I said I'm fine." I replied through gritted teeth. "If you see her, can you tell her I'm lookin' for her?"

"Of course, Logan." I turned to go. "If there's anything you want to talk about…"

"No, there isn't. Just…just leave it alone, ok?" I left the office, barely resisting the urge to slam the door. I knew he was just trying to help, but he needed to understand that there are some things that I will never want to talk about, not with him. He might be a telepath, but he'd never been through the things I've been through and no amount of mind reading would change that. He was right, there are some things that are better left for the mind to discover on its own and this was one of them.

Back in the hall, I took a deep breath and tried to find her scent among all the others. It wasn't hard for me to do and I followed it outside to the patio. I inhaled deeply again and followed the thread around to the rose garden, where it was joined by another scent…Scott's. Growling deep in my throat, I sped up and found him alone on the path.

He turned as I approached and I held back the urge to just deck him. Mixed in with Angela's normal scent, I was now catching an undertone that had a sharp tang to it and I recognized it as the way she smelled when she was angry. What the hell had he done to piss her off? And why was he still standing? I caught another scent, this one mingled with Scott's. Whatever she'd said or done had scared the hell out of him.

"Logan, back off." He said, putting his hands up to ward me off. "I don't want to deal with you on top of everything else."

"What the fuck did you do to her, 'Clops?" I growled, my fists clenched so tight I was sure my palms were bleeding.

"Nothing! Jesus, I came out here to apologize to her and she damn near took my head off!"

I gritted my teeth. "Why did you need to apologize to her in the first place?"

He took a step back, hands still raised. "Look, it's nothing, ok? Just give it a rest." He turned to walk away, but I grabbed his arm.

"If it's nothing, why did she try to take your head off?" I growled. "She wouldn't do that without reason."

"Unlike you?" He said with a sneer. "I think you guys deserve each other. She's just as crazy as you are." He jerked his arm away. "For the record, I was trying to apologize to her for something that happened right after we got here. I offered to help her get settled and she took it the wrong way. So just step back and drop it, all right?"

"She don't need your help, she's got me." I turned my back on him and walked away. As if I needed another reason not to like the guy, now he was saying randomly offensive shit to my woman. I reacquired her scent and followed it to the woods I had left not all that long ago. It was easier to track her out here, since most of the kids didn't come this far out and the only other human scent in the air was my own from earlier.

I finally hit the end of the road at the base of what was probably the tallest tree on the grounds. I shook my head, chuckling to myself then grasped the nearest branch and started climbing. She'd gone as close to top as she could before settling down in the crook formed by the trunk and the smallest limb that would support her weight. She had a cigarette clamped in her fingers and she was absently shredding the bark with her other hand. I stopped on the branch just beneath her.

"Hey darlin'. Somethin' on your mind?"

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