I went back home, normal 'ol Kimberly Ann Hanson, and opened up the door to the apartment. Mr. Standa had called my name, but I didn't go over to him, He'd be like, "Hello, Kimberly. The rent is due." And I'd be like, "Yes, I know." And then he'd wait for me to tell him the exact date we'll pay him. Old coot. I cannot believe I just said the word 'coot'. What am I, my grandma?

I put away the groceries in the few cabinets that we had. I totally loved the feeling of having a full stock of food. It was like, Yeah! What Now?

After that, I went into my room to get my dirty clothes. Our system was that after two or three days, we'd put our clothes in a pile. The pile was meant to be washed. So I grabbed my pile and put them in an old potato sack that we'd 'borrowed' from the market. I went into Josh's room. This was one of the few exceptions that I was allowed inside. He never wanted me in there, not after I'd found the cigarettes. Hey, I wonder if he has anymore...

I threw his clothes in the sack and put it down on the ground. I walked cautiously to his desk. He had a small desk with two drawers. The top one was where I had found the cigarettes. I opened it up, and it was empty. Why would it be empty?

Then I tried the bottom. There were a few papers, but nothing much. I wanted to smoke so bad...

I took the papers and carefully moved them, making sure they didn't go out of order. There were the cigarettes! Jackpot! I opened the pack and grabbed three of them, sticking them in my pocket. There was a black case on the bottom of the drawer...what could that be for?

I took the case out and opened it up. It was pretty big, how could he afford this?

I was shocked. Stunned. Bewildered.

There was a gun inside the case.

I went through it even more. There... I found it. Cocaine.

And there...a bandana...a gang bandana.

How did Josh get mixed into this bad stuff? Why? I started to cry. I was disappointed...scared. He was a druggie for real. I'd always thought...

I put the bandanna and the drugs and the gun back without looking back again.

God dammit Josh, what would Mom think?

...what would I think?