S1 Ep07: Peculiar Problems Pertaining Palismen (The "A" Plot, Final Part).
Set during the events of Season 1, Episode 7: Lost in Language; combined with elements of Season 2, Episode 6: Hunting Palismen.
Bzzz. Bzzz. "Ugh…" Willow groaned as the buzzing was the first thing she heard as she slowly became conscious. Bzzz. Bzzz. "Huh?" She opened her eyes to see a blurry blob floating above her. Her glasses were missing. Bzzz. Bzzz. "Clover." She sighed with relief, not needing perfect vision to recognize her beloved palisman. Bzzz. Bzzz. Clover dropped something light onto the girl's chest. It was her glasses. "Thank you." Willow put them on, and the world became clear again.
Willow sat up and looked around. The airship was split in half. Parts were tossed all over the place, and a collapsed tree because of the crash. Chirp. Chirp. Willow turned her head upon hearing the sound, seeing the familiar cardinal palisman that had given her trouble. Chirp. Chirp. Honestly, seeing the palisman before her gave her a sense of reassurance that the others were all right, too. Chirp. Chirp. It did not take Willow long to realize the little guy was trying to get her attention and that he was standing on an unconscious, "Hunter!" Willow got up, wobbling at first but quickly rebalanced herself.
The human teen was flat on his back, sleeping peacefully. Chirp. Chirp. Willow did not understand what the palisman was saying, but he sounded concerned for him. She got on her knees and leaned in closer to the boy, their faces inches apart from each other. "Wake up!" Smack! And she slapped him.
"Ow!" Hunter cried, surprising the witchling girl that it did the trick. He gave her an angry, and not undeserved, glare as he rubbed his sore cheek. "What the heck is wrong with you?!"
"I was checking if you were still alive." Willow folded her arms. "You're welcome."
"Aw, so you do care about me." Hunter gave her a teasing smile.
"Don't get the wrong idea. I still do not like you." Willow paused and let out a sigh. "But that doesn't mean I want to see you hurt… or worse."
Hunter was genuinely surprised to see and hear this coming from Willow. "Oh… thank you… I mean that." Chirp. Chirp. "Huh?" Hunter looked down to see it was the cardinal palisman. Chirp. Chirp. "Hey there, you little rascal." Hunter sat up and breathed out.
"This little guy found you first and wanted to make sure you were okay," Willow explained.
Hunter looked back at the palisman. "Then I guess I owe one, too." Chirp. Chirp. A realization dawned on the teen. "Wait! What about the others?"
Willow got to her feet. "If Clover and that little rascal are alright, then the others have to be." Willow offered Hunter a hand up, which he accepted. "We just need to find them."
"And keep an eye out for you-know-who," Hunter added, both teens knowing precisely who he was referring to. Chirp. Chirp. Hunter looked to the cardinal palisman. "Do you know where they are?" Chirp. Chirp. The little rascal flew ahead of them, encouraging them to follow.
"I think he's saying he does." Willow ran after the cardinal with Clover close by and Hunter behind her. Chirp. Chirp. The teens followed the little rascal through the wreckage until they came across the stolen building. It was, unsurprisingly, in terrible condition from the crash. "My dads are gonna kill me." Bzzz. Tweet. Chirp. Hiss. Meow. Woof. The sounds of many palismen could be heard from inside; they sounded scared but alive and well. Willow and Hunter felt a wave of relief wash over them.
Chirp. Chirp. Hunter and Willow looked down at the cardinal. Chirp. Chirp. The palisman kept looking back at the teens and a pile of debris. They saw the Platinum Guard pinned underneath some, facedown and unmoving. Her mask was off to her right, broken in half. Chirp. Chirp. Though Hunter did not understand him, he had some idea of what his chirps meant. "No, we're not helping her. She works for the Empress's Coven. We should just leave her there."
"That doesn't sound like something you would do." Willow pointed out.
The human scoffed. "What do you know about what I would do? And why do you even care? She threatened to kill Clover on the ship."
"Well, I know that you don't like bullies." Willow jabbed a finger at the human's chest. "You stood up for Amity even when you didn't know her. You put up this act like you don't care about others, but that's not true."
Hunter sighed. "Fine. You lift the rubble; I'll pull her out." Hunter ran over to the limp Platinum Guard as Willow summoned vines to take the debris off her body. Hunter dragged her away as the vines dropped everything. "What the…" Hunter saw in place of the Platinum Guard's legs was a tail. He flipped her over and gasped.
"What is it?" Willow asked as she and Clover joined him, gasping as she saw what the Platinum Guard indeed was.
The tail that was in place of her legs connected to a small, chubby serpentine body with two arms and swamp-green scales with cream-colored spots. She had a round face with a turned-up nose and a catlike mouth with two fangs. And there were tufts of navy-blue hair on her head and around her neck and ears. Her eyes then opened, revealing their mixed colors of yellow and gold. "Get away from me!" She shouted and slithered away. She looked at her arms and body, seeming… afraid… ashamed… "Don't look at me!" She tried to cover herself with her cloak.
"Hey, we just—" Hunter began.
She began to cry. "No one's supposed to see me like this!" The Platinum Guard's scales began to change, slowly morphing into tan skin right before Hunter's and Willow's eyes. Her tail transformed into a pair of legs. Another surprise was learning that aside from her cloak and mask, the clothes she wore were part of her transformation. A witchling girl was in place of the serpent, though her ears and eyes were still like her serpentine form.
"So, you're the Platinum Guard?" Willow asked.
"Honestly, I thought you'd be a scary witch woman," Hunter admitted. "But you're just a kid." She could pass off as a student at Hexside.
"Oh, yeah! Well…" The Platinum Guard paused, trying to think of a proper retort. "You're just a teenager!" She got to her feet. "And why couldn't either of you just stay in the corner and out of my business?"
"Oh, I'm sorry." Willow sardonically began. "But I'm not the one who decided to rip my parents' business out of the ground."
"Then how about you let me walk away with the palismen, and I'll forget I ever saw you two."
"Not happening." Willow's eyes flashed green.
"And even if we did agree, how do you think you're gonna get them to the empress on foot?" Hunter reasoned. "Or… tail? Or whatever it is you have?" The Platinum Guard opened her mouth to respond but could not find the words, much to her frustration. "You don't have a backup plan, do you?" Hunter folded his arms, smirking. "You didn't think this whole thing through, did you now?" The Platinum Guard's face flushed red with anger and embarrassment, shutting her eyes vertically, like that of a lizard.
"Kikimora, ma'am. We found the crash site." Hunter, Willow, and the Platinum Guard turned to the deep voice they heard, spotting three figures approaching. Two big ones and a small one in the middle. Warden Kikimora and her Conformatorium guards.
"No, no, no, no, no." The Platinum Guard ran for the wreckage.
"And where are you going?" Hunter questioned her.
"No one can see me like this." That was all she said before diving behind some rubble.
"She has a point," Willow said as she grabbed Hunter's wrist.
"Hey, what are you… Woah!" The witchling used that grudgeby captain strength to drag the human along with little effort to a hiding spot.
"Ma'am, over here." One of the guards pointed out the damaged building among the rubble. The Conformatorium guards, just like the empress's goons, all looked the same; large, with navy blue long-sleeved uniforms with black gloves and pointed masks. These were armed with swords, and one of them was carrying the Platinum Guard's staff with them.
"We found some palismen inside." The one holding the staff said. Bzzz. Tweet. Chirp. Hiss. Meow. Woof. "They seem rattled but unharmed."
"Well, this seems fortunate." The innocent-sounding yet malicious voice of Warden Kikimora said. Despite being of diminutive stature, this red-skinned bipedal demon was very dangerous. Like other Conformatorium guards, her outfit consisted of navy blue and black. Though, hers had a high-collared veil covering her mouth and symbolized her superior status. "Empress Clawthorne was looking for more palismen after all."
"What do you think she does with them?" One of the guards asked. "I think she collects them as a hobby."
"It doesn't matter." Kikimora replied. "We're not paid enough to ask those kinds of questions, or care about them, anyway."
"Ma'am, there's something else." The other guard returned, holding the broken remains of the Platinum Guard's masks. "You don't think… that the Platinum Guard is really—"
"It can't be a coincidence. First, the Platinum Guard's staff drops out of the sky; then, a Coven airship crashes with her mask in the rubble. How tragic for the empress's assistant to lose her daughter again."
From behind their hiding spot, Hunter and Willow looked at each other. "What is she talking about?" Hunter whispered.
"I don't know," Willow replied just as quietly.
Kikimora looked at the building. Bzzz. Tweet. Chirp. Hiss. Meow. Woof. "But her mission will not end here." Kikimora pulled out a finger-shaped whistle. Fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! She blew into it sharply.
Both teens cringed in silence as they covered their ears from it. Grrrrroooaaar! They both froze at the roar. "What was that?" Hunter said quietly and slowly. Grrrrroooaaar! Willow and Hunter both watched in silence as a giant, teal creature made out of hands and fingers descended and landed right before Kikimora, making the ground shake in the process. It kind of looked like… "Since when does she have a dragon?"
"There you are, my pet." Kikimora said. She patted the creature's nose… or whatever it had for a face… affectionately. Grrr. It purred from the action. "You will help me deliver the palismen to the empress, personally." Kikimora and her two goons drew spell circles and created a translucent magic box around the building. Bzzz. Tweet. Chirp. Hiss. Meow. Woof. On the top of the box was a latch for the dragon to grab onto. Kikimora climbed onto her beast. "You two, stay here and search for the Platinum Guard's body. And I'll take the staff back to the empress."
"Yes, Ma'am." They both said, one saluting as the other holding the weapon handed it to her.
Fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! Kikimora blew into the whistle once more. Grrrrroooaaar! The dragon let out a mighty roar and took flight with the palisman.
"We need to stop that thing," Willow said as she and Hunter watched it fly away.
"Over there, I thought I heard something." One of the guards said.
"Let's take care of these mooks first," Hunter said, his glyphs at the ready.
Willow's eyes glowed green as she and the human revealed themselves. "What the…" Before any of the guards could react, vines shot out from the ground; once trapped, their heads were bumped against each other, knocking them out.
"Show off," Hunter grumbled as he put the glyphs away.
"Come on; we need to stop Kikimora," Willow said. Bzzz. Clover transformed into a staff for the teens to ride.
"My staff!" The two teens turned and saw the Platinum Guard scurry from her hiding place.
"Stay where you are!" Hunter ordered as he and Willow prepared to attack.
"Don't worry; I can't do anything without my staff." The Platinum Guard informed.
"Why are you so scared of your coven members seeing you?" Willow asked. "Who are you? What are you?"
"I need my staff back. It's the only thing that can turn me back to normal." The Platinum Guard explained. "I can help rescue the palismen."
"And why would you help us?" Hunter questioned.
"Because I don't want that little goblin taking credit for my catch and telling Camila that I'm dead." The Platinum Guard clenched her fists. "I won't let her go through that again."
"It seems like neither of us wants her to win right now." Willow reasoned, sitting on Clover. "So, let's all work together to save those palismen?"
"Then what? You think I'll just let the both of you walk away with them?"
"You do realize you're talking to someone who could probably kill you with her plants in different ways, right?" Hunter retorted.
The Platinum Guard growled. "Fine. A truce till then."
"Hurry before we lose it." Willow rushed. The Platinum Guard sat behind Willow, Hunter sat behind the Platinum Guard, and all three passengers firmly gripped the wood. "Off we go!" Going after Kikimora and her dragon, the staff rocketed the trio off the ground and soared through the night sky. Grrrrroooaaar! Clover was able to catch up with the dragon in no time. "Slow down, girl; we don't want her to notice us." Clover reduced her speed to a safe distance.
"Do you two even have a plan?" The Platinum Guard questioned.
"The only plan right now is to follow that thing."
"Unless you have something to offer?" Hunter asked the temporary ally. Chirp. Chirp. "Huh?" Hunter looked to his shoulder and saw the little rascal perched on it. "Oh, I forgot you were with us. You wouldn't happen to have a plan, would you?" Chirp. Chirp. The cardinal flew ahead of the others. "Where's he going?" The palismen was flying closer to the dragon and Kikimora. He was so small that he was going unnoticed by the giant beast.
"Clover, take us up a bit," Willow ordered her palismen as the teens rose higher into the air to see just what the cardinal was doing. Zzzz. Zzzz. Kikimora was napping on the dragon's back. Carelessly hanging from her neck happened to be the whistle that commanded the beast, a whistle the cardinal was in the middle of stealing.
Zzzz. Zzzz. The warden was utterly unaware of what was happening as the little rascal was carefully pulling it over her head. "Mm," Kikimora mumbled, and the cardinal stopped as Hunter, Willow, and the Platinum Guard all held their breaths. "Hm." She settled down, and the teens could breathe again. The little rascal finally got the whistle off her and flew back to the others as fast as they could. Chirp. Chirp. He gave it to Hunter.
"Good job, little guy," Hunter said, giving the palismen and thumbs up. Chirp. Chirp. Hunter looked at the beast below. "Okay, now just be a good… dragon… thing… and land." Fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! Hunter blew the whistle. Grrrrroooaaar! The dragon roared and began to descend with the palismen.
However, this ended up waking Kikimora from her nap. "What are you doing?" The little demon reached for her whistle but realized it was not there. "Where's my—" As she looked around, she caught sight of Willow and Hunter above her and recognized the latter. "Human!" The dragon landed on the ground with the secured palismen.
Willow steered Clover to the ground, and Kikimora drew a circle. Bwoosh! She launched a fireball at them, and Willow veered out of the way. But the sudden movement caused Hunter to drop the whistle. "No!" He shouted as the key fell to the ground, and Kikimora dismounted her beast, running over to grab it. "No, you don't!" Hunter jumped off the staff.
"Hunter!" Willow called out as she saw the human teen plummet from the height. It was not too high to kill him, but it would be a miracle if he did not get a broken bone.
Hunter pulled out one of his glyphs and threw it to the ground. Bwoosh! It created a small explosion with a solid backdraft to slow his fall. "Umph!" But not slow enough, hitting the ground hard. But he picked himself up and made a break for the whistle. Unfortunately, Kikimora was closer.
"You're not interfering again, human." Kikimora threatened. Fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! She blew the whistle. Grrrrroooaaar! The dragon turned to its master. "You've done well so far, my pet. So, help yourself to a little snack before we continue." Fweeeeeeeeeeeeeeew! The dragon glared over at Hunter… also known as "the snack."
"Oh, crud." Grrrrroooaaar! The beast pounced at Hunter; its opened maw first. "AHH!" The human jumped out of the way and ran as far away as he could from the thing that wanted to make him his next meal.
"Hunter!" Willow landed on the ground as she saw the beast about to close in on him. Meanwhile, the Platinum Guard made a break to get her staff on the beast's saddle like she had intended to from the start. But that did not matter to Willow as her eyes glowed green and called upon the forces of nature. She summoned vines from beneath the earth to restrain the beast. Grrrrroooaaar!
Hunter stopped running and turned to see his pursuer was subdued, for now. Grrrrroooaaar! It struggled to free itself from its prison. Hunter also noticed Kikimora approach the plant witch, who was so focused on halting the beast, she was unaware of the other assailant approaching her with a drawn knife. "Willow!" Hunter sprinted towards her as Kikimora raised her arm to stab the girl. He would not reach her in time. "NO!"
Suddenly, a familiar blue aura surrounded Kikimora's body. "What the…" The little red demon was tossed right into a tree, knocking her out as the whistle fell. Hunter turned around and saw that Platinum Guard saved Willow, her form looking more like an ordinary witch.
She pointed her staff at the struggling dragon's head, and a blue aura surrounded it before it fell asleep. At the same time, Willow snapped out of her trance. "What… what happened?" She asked as Hunter ran up to her.
"You alright?" He asked her.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Bzzz. Tweet. Chirp. Hiss. Meow. Woof. The sounds of the crying palismen grabbed the attention of the two teens as they ran over to check on them. Willow did away with the barrier surrounding the damaged shop with her plant magic and immediately began to see if every palismen was okay and accounted for. Bzzz. Tweet. Chirp. Hiss. Meow. Woof. "It's okay; I'm here." She sounded so motherly. "We're gonna get you home safe and—" She and Hunter then noticed a blue light radiating from behind, and they turned around.
"Really?!" Hunter loudly asked, entirely frustrated as he and Willow stared down the Platinum Guard with her staff pointed at them.
"So, you're gonna do this, huh?" Willow asked the silent Platinum Guard. "Y'know, back at the wreckage, with how you acted, we thought you would be different. But you're just like any other one of Lilith's stooges. Right, Platinum Guard?"
The two of them stared each other down until the Empress's Coven witch unexpectedly lowered her weapon. "My name is Luz." She revealed.
Hunter and Willow kept their gaze on the Platinum Guard… Luz. But their look was now softer than before.
"Over there!" The teens all heard the familiar voice of one Conformatorium guard, and Luz turned around to face them.
"Time to go!" Willow wasted no time; her eyes glowed their brilliant green as she tapped into the deepest pools of her magic she could reach.
A vine wrapped around Hunter and lifted him. "Woah!" He panicked as he was carried into the wrecked building. Willow joined him shortly after, riding in on her vines.
More plants sprouted from the ground, lifted the damaged shop, and went ahead to carry it away before anyone from the Empress's Coven could catch them. Luz just stood there; she did not give chase, did not raise her staff, she just watched as the two of them returned to Bonesborough.
French Narrator: Plenty of hours later…
"Well, I think that's enough adventure one night," Hunter said as he finished helping Willow put the adoption center back to where it was. Together, they cleaned up the inside and ensured every palisman was safe and accounted for. It was the least he could do. And the shop looked like it never left the spot. The only thing Willow probably could not explain is why a dragon is sleeping next to the building. "Darius is probably wondering where I am, so—"
Willow looked at the human as he was walking away. "Hunter, wait."
"Hm?" He stopped and looked back at the witchling.
"Look, I know we aren't exactly friends..."
"You don't need to remind me."
"And acting the way I have acted to you and your friends hasn't done either of us any favors."
Hunter rubbed the back of his head. "And I admit, I was as much of a jerk as you, if not bigger."
"Right. What I'm trying to say is… just because we're not friends, it doesn't mean we have to be enemies, either."
"So… what does that make us, then?"
"I don't know. But… I think we can make it work."
Hunter waved goodbye. "I'll see you around, Willow."
"See you around, too." Willow waved goodbye back as she entered her family's store. Ringa-ding. She did a quick survey of all the palismen once more. Making sure everyone was accounted for. "Are you kidding me?" She found that the cardinal palisman was missing again. Bzzz. Bzzz. Clover flew in front of Willow. "Huh?" Bzzz. Bzzz. "He found someone?" Willow blinked. "You don't mean—" Bzzz. Bzzz. "Well, I hope he's happy."
British Narrator: Back home…
After helping Darius and Eberwolf hose off their reward from King Hooty, the teen made his way upstairs and lay down on his sleeping bag. Usually, he would decompress after a stressful night by playing the PS5 that Darius found one day at the market. And he was too tired, even for that. He let out a sigh. "I'm pooped." Chirp. Chirp. Hunter recognized those sounds. "Ugh…" He groaned as he sat up and saw the little rascal on the windowpane. "I'm too tired to deal with this right now. I'll bring you back to the shop tomorrow." He laid back down. Chirp. Chirp. The cardinal flew into the room. "You can sleep here if you want. I don't care." Chirp. Chirp. The little rascal flew above Hunter, then transformed into a staff. "Huh?" Hunter caught it before it landed on his stomach. He sat up and held the fine wood. "Oh, I was… not expecting that."
British Narrator: Meanwhile…
"Mija!" Camila shouted as she ran and gave Luz the biggest hug. The first thing to happen after returning to the castle. "¿Tienes alguna idea de lo preocupada que estaba?" Luz felt ashamed for making her worry for her safety. "I can't… I can't bear the thought of losing you, not again."
"Lo siento, mama," Luz apologized. "I was being stupid." The Platinum Guard looked over Camila's shoulder and saw Empress Clawthorne, no doubt waiting to scold her, next.
"Camila, I'd wish to speak with the Platinum Guard, now."
"Oh… I…" She was hesitant to let go of her daughter, not wanting to see her be punished.
"It's okay, I'll be alright," Luz assured her.
Camila kissed her forehead. "You know you're still grounded, right?"
"Yes."
Camila looked at the empress. "Please don't be too hard on her." She then left her daughter and her royal highness together.
Empress Clawthorne glared at Luz so intensely that the girl kneeled on instinct. "Care to explain what you were doing?" She asked.
"I was hoping to do something good for the coven."
"Tell me, how does abducting an entire building in the dead of night benefit my coven?"
"I wasn't thinking—"
"Clearly."
"I just…"
"Your reasoning doesn't matter. The risk to your life does." Empress Clawthorne approached Luz. "You do remember that if Camila loses her daughter, I lose her? And that cannot happen."
"I know."
"Then you would be wise to not pull a stunt like this, again. I could have you replaced, and she wouldn't be any the wiser, Number 5." Luz felt a chill course through her body at the mere mention of her real name. Her designation. And the scary part was that the empress was not wrong. "You are dismissed."
Luz nodded then left the room quickly. She knew Camila would be waiting for her in her room, no doubt. But before she received punishment from her, there was one stop she needed to make. Recalling the path from earlier today, she found the passage to the room where the creature was imprisoned.
Crraaaaugh! The owl-beast swiped at the cage again, causing another spark as Luz approached her. "Hey, I know you don't know me. I just… feel like I should say sorry. I know you needed those palismen." Craugh. She made a sound, not like a defensive, terrifying shriek, but more… curious… vulnerable. "Can you… understand me?" Craugh. The owl-beast responded by laying down, almost like she did not see Luz as a threat. "This is freaky."
Fin.
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And this is the final part of the episode. And I have an announcement for the story's future in the next chapter.