I had a weird couple of weeks where I was writing nonstop about a possible new story. Only for me to revise it 3x (I saved each revision in separate folders) and then - poof! The urge to write was gone. It had me scratching my head on what the issue was. So I pondered for a few days, tinkering on stuff, until I finally found what the problem was. I have no outlines! I did not spend time thinking about the characters. And I did not even planned what to do about the story. And to think I spend 6 hours writing on a particular day when I should be doing errands.
Was it a waste of time? Kind of. Maybe. But there was some takeaway to those chapters. Not all of them will be thrown out.
I'm currently reading a monstrous book on the life of Leonardo da Vinci by Isaac Walterson. I am into the early chapters now and it's an interesting read. I can almost picture Shirayuki and Izana in da Vinci's timeline.
Enjoy the latest update.
Title: The Midnight of Ærra Jeola
Inspired by: Chapter 46 of the Manga Akagami no Shirayukihime
Character: Izana Wistalia, Shirayuki, Zen Wistalia
Rating: General
Status: Beta-ed chapter by Kartara. Please check out her profile and support her works
The orchestra started the first strings of a particularly beautiful melody. The middle of the ballroom was packed as the revelers took to the dance floor once more.
She almost balked when I led her to the fringes of the ballroom.
"Surely you jest, Your Highness!" she hissed, feeling self-conscious about her appearance.
I shook my head, tightening my grip on her hand. Following my lead, we twirled gently with the music.
"Do not be afraid of what you need to do, Shirayuki." I told her, even as we both gazed at each other. "Your feelings about my brother, is he aware of it?" Jealousy ripped at me. I have never fought intense battles, but I had my share of combat injuries. And this pain, this squeezing grip inside my chest, could rival the greatest of my injuries.
She frowned a little. "I do not understand what Your Highness means."
Why do I need to emphasize the reason that my chest hurts?
"Were you unhappy that Zen is looking for a candidate to be his wife?" My voice sounded a little harsh.
Her eyes glazed for a moment as she contemplated my words. "Not really, no."
"But you were watching him," I said, almost accusingly.
She blushed guiltily, pursing her lips. "I did." She admitted. "I was only wondering whether the woman he is meeting is suitable. I do not want him to be disappointed. Zen deserves someone who can support him for he has an important duty to fulfill and may not understand," She added seriously.
I analyzed this. Isn't that the same as having feelings for him?
"Are you in love with my brother?" I asked, forgetting to use tact. My hold over her hand tightened, if she noticed, she did not give an indication.
Shirayuki raised her eyebrows. "Good heavens! No! Well, I do. But not, not in the same way he wanted... He is a good man. He deserves someone better," she amended swiftly, cheeks turning pink. "I mean, I was flattered by his attention. I did fancy falling in love with him a few times, it is hard to try and not get carried away with his attention. But I made things clear that my focus is always my work. Although sometimes, I wonder if…" her voice trailed off.
I watched with interest when her cheeks turned even redder.
My fingers gripped her waist, and we were forced to move closer by the crush of the dancers around us. Some of them, I noted, inching to get closer, wanting to listen, curious to find out about the woman I held in my arms.
"You wonder what?" I prompted, whispering near her ear so that nobody can hear what we are talking about. Visions of our last intimate talk floated inside my mind. I love…
She was startled. "My Lord." She began to pull away, but I held her in place.
"You wonder what?" I asked again, persistent.
Shirayuki twirled gracefully in my arms; her dress shimmered faintly, simple and beautiful beneath the glow of candlelight. Each passing minute, she seemed to grow even more lovely.
"I wondered..." she hesitated, moving closer until her mouth is next to my ear; her warm breath made the hairs at the back of my neck stood. I held my breath, trying to calm down. Just her nearness does crazy things to my body, making my pulse race and my spine tingle.
"I wondered," she continued, "if I was wrong to spend too much time with him that it really might affect his chances of finding a suitable wife. I wondered about how I can support him without him mistaking my feelings."
My heart melted at her words. All those times I taunted her about not having the right to spend time with my brother, she had been so confident and so sure about her strengths and abilities. But even she has her doubts about herself.
"Let me make things clear. It is not wrong to spend time with your friends. Especially my brother."
"You used to inform me that I have no right," She pointed out the obvious.
I winced a little at this detail. "I am sorry, Shirayuki. As the future king, I only held the best interest for my brother. But now," I paused to tuck a strand of hair behind her ears, "I see that you are a genuine person who cares about him very much."
"I do. But not as someone who is after his title," She reaffirmed, sounding defensive.
"I know," I replied softly, happy and disappointed at the same time. Isn't this what I wanted in the first place?
"Besides, with the position I hold, even if I did like someone of Zen's caliber, it wouldn't even be possible," She added, looking a little sad at this.
I frowned slightly, feeling my heart beat loudly. "What do you mean?"
There is a long pause between us that seemed to suck the very air we breathed.
She shook her head, her smile faint. "Nothing, my Lord. I am just being a little sentimental."
I wanted to pursue this matter, however, I became distracted with a faint sensation at the back of my neck. Someone seems to be a little too interested with observing us than the rest. The weight of the scrutiny did not escape my instincts.
I drew back a little, trying not to be too obvious that I noticed the intense scrutiny. The orchestra began to wind down to the last part of its song, readying to start with a new one. Not even meaning to, I glanced up and saw my brother, Zen, making his way towards us. His face looked unreadable, but his eyes looked stormy.
Ah. Seems like Zen has spotted us. Serves me right for teaching him to be sharp as a hawk. Such skills have come handy for him.
"Unless I am mistaken, my brother will claim the next dance, Shirayuki." Reluctantly, I moved away from her. Taking the hand resting on my shoulder, I bestowed a swift, gallant kiss at the back of her palm.
"You have my gratitude for doing an excellent job of planning this event, Miss Pharmacist. May the blessings of the gods be with you always." I smiled at her, memorizing her features. The winter ball has come to a close-at least for me; and, no matter how I yearned for her, wishing this night for a miracle, for things to be different, I am reminded yet again that I only need to content myself with dreaming about her.
Releasing my hold on her waist, I went towards my brother, who barely glanced at me, eyes focused on Shirayuki. I snatched his elbow and leaned closer to his ear.
"Be nice, brother. I offered her company after you failed to inform her about your fake marriage meeting." I found myself a little livid about his secrecy on the whole thing. He should have informed her in the first place so she wouldn't worry.
Zen gave me a rare scathing look. "No matter what you say, brother. Shirayuki is still my choice as my bride. Make no mistake. And unless you have intentions of mischief, stay away from her!"
I felt a smirk forming in my lips. Shirayuki can arouse such passions in a man, even in my very own brother. I wondered when he started to realize that I may be spending too much time with her?
"I am merely getting to know her on a more intimate level. Isn't that what you wished, Brother?"
"Yes, I know. And I find that I may have made a mistake of telling you that. You spend too much time lately with her. One would think that you are beginning to crave for her attention." His eyes narrowed with suspicion.
"And what if I do?"
Zen's eyes widened at this.
I let out a gurgle of laughter. I dare not push him to test his limits. He has been tense the whole night. Shirayuki would help dispel his mood swings.
"I will see you tomorrow for the traditional Ærra Jeola breakfast, brother. We shall discuss about your expeditions in the coming months." I dismissed him with a wave and stalked off.
However, even as I left the scene as casually as I could, I can feel the weight of my brother's gaze on my back.
It felt heavy with speculation and a little jealousy.