In a month I'll be out of commission as I will be having surgery. So, I will try my best to upload chapters as frequently as I can. Also, I'm good. Don't worry. The surgery is necessary to fix some stuff in my body.

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Title: Tensions Rising

Inspired by: Chapter 46 of the Manga Akagami no Shirayukihime

Character: Izana Wistalia, Zen Wistalia

Rating: General

Status: Beta-ed chapter by Kartara. Please check out her profile and support her works

I left the ballroom after bidding goodnight to my guests. Traversing a couple of galleries towards my private apartments, I turned and dismissed Maruko, urging him to spend the remaining hour to enjoy himself and have the rest of the night off; Iyasu already obtained my permission earlier. He's probably chasing some poor maiden with false promises.

I feel the need to be alone.

Sensing my mood, Maruko took the hint. He bowed and bid me good night as well, pivoting on his heel and going back to the direction of the party.

Loosening the button holding the stiff collar wrapped about my neck, I breathed in the crisp winter air. It felt stifling, like having a noose that's slowly strangling me to death. I was looking forward to the day I would be officially crowned as King and find a bride to support me in my rule. Instead, here I am presented with complications of the heart.

"I would like Shirayuki to stay in the castle under my name."

I whirled about, startled to see my brother standing a few feet away from me. He moved like a cat, and for a second, he surprised me. He has never done that before. I usually was the one to surprise him.

He looked out of breath, as if he had jogged his way, trying to catch up to me. And like me, his collar was loose, mimicking the way I look and feel.

We stood silently staring at each other, gauging our moods. I can still feel the tension from my brother, even as he boldly stood there, defiant and resolute.

I considered his request, the silence between us stretching. Is this a desperate attempt by my brother so he can grow closer with Shirayuki and make her fall for him?

"Is there a reason?" I asked idly, trying to buy time.

"Should there be a reason? Of course there is! I wouldn't bother if I am not serious about her."

I smiled a little at his cheeky response. "Well then, let me think about your request, brother." I turned on my heel and began to walk away.

"The time will come when I will announce publicly of my intentions for her."

I paused from walking.

"I wanted Shirayuki to be my wife. I told you before, and I will tell you again. She is my intended. Having her live in the castle under my name is the first step."

"And what does she say about that?" I felt my heart pounding in my ears.

"She told me, if it is necessary, she will support me, as she will support you."

"Hmmm." I clenched my fists in jealousy. Despite the diplomatic answer that she gave my brother, I find myself feeling uneasy. What if I did allow Zen to have Shirayuki live within his private apartments? Will she have a change of heart in the future?

But then again, shouldn't I encourage them to it? I did give my support to Zen, and he deserved my honesty and assurances after what he has done to protect me.

I can almost feel it at the tip of my tongue; the need to confess on why I always keep on meddling in their affairs. I wanted to tell Zen that I want Shirayuki as much as he wants her, maybe more. But half of me is torn, taunting me that Zen might not take it too kindly about my feelings.

Just wait, my inner voice whispered. Now is not the time yet. There are too many things to focus on before you can afford to spare time for a personal dilemma.

I trust my brother. More than I trust my own self. Even if I declare my feelings for Shirayuki and demand for his loyalty, he would still give it. But I knew that once I let the secret out, I would be driving a wedge between us. And now is not the time to be divided. Certain forces are at work within the kingdom, and Clarines might not survive if its two princes grow distant from each other, let alone quarrel over a woman. I cannot even bear to think that a simple dilemma might be a catalyst for something even bigger. Trust is very important to me and to him.

Should I take the chance?

I heard footsteps behind me, and Zen stood in front of me, his blue eyes looking a little more bluer than ever.

"I want my chance at her. I want to show her what I can do. I want Shirayuki to realize what I am willing to do to earn her trust and her love."

My heart melted a little with pain and understanding. I am prepared to give everything to my only brother. Zen has yet to fathom the depths one must go through in order to win a prize like Shirayuki—a woman that is not similar to others. I understood how difficult it is to prove one's love to a person who is equally determined to avoid it at all cost—or at least one who is willingly eager to wait until she can fulfill her destiny. Such a high price to pay, but a worthy price nevertheless.

I reached out, gently rubbing my brother's cheek with my thumb. Zen's eyes glittered with moisture—my brother, is so much in love. I wondered, if I am to be wholeheartedly honest, would I feel the same way as him? Will the time come when I would be standing like Zen, desperate for a love that might never be mine as well?

"Let us celebrate Ærra Jeola in peace first, Zen. I find I am in a nostalgic mood. We have a lot to talk, you and I."

I left my brother glowering in silence. This night is turning out to be such a nightmare. The more I find myself trying to avoid coming between Zen and Shirayuki, the more I am tempted to test fate. Why did I ever find myself doubting my resolve in such a crucial time? I am about to get engaged, and become a King. My mother has professed that the time will be upon us when I will be crowned as the next ruler.

My heavy footsteps were muffled by the thick carpet underfoot, as I made my way towards my private apartments. By the time I yanked the door of my private sanctuary open, I was already in a savage mood. I loosened the knot of my white scarf, seemingly acting like a noose around my neck. I tossed the scarf and the imperial bleu coat down on the floor as hard as I could, like petulant child.

I went to the drinks cart and poured a healthy measure of brandy on a crystal glass. Downing half of its contents, the brandy burned a fiery path down my throat.

Only then did I notice a small, parchment-wrapped package resting near a desk, where some of my books sat. The package was tied with a piece of string, adorned by a fresh holly branch laden with small, red berries.

I untied the strings, tearing the package open.

Inside was a rectangular box, containing a handsome eagle quill. The feathers are snow white, with the charcoal-colored ends. The barb ends are fitted with silver writing shaft—a new design, possibly to give more structure when writing.

There was no note to accompany the gift. But I knew right then and there who left me the gift. Shirayuki must have sneaked into my rooms to leave the package; a feat, no doubt. For very few people can access my private apartments. The shadow guards must have guided her.

This was probably the reason why she was late.

Fingering the vanes, I felt some of my tension ease away. Maybe she thinks better of me now. Maybe, there really are some nights where she lies in bed and whispers my name.

I felt a bittersweet feeling stole over me. This is what happens when my mask slips and my control snaps. I should be thinking about the future! I should be thinking about my upcoming nuptials!

With my free hand, I grabbed the box, the torn parchment wrappings and the quill, I proceed to the glowing fireplace that the palace maids continuously tended to. I held out the bundle before me, watching the glow of the fire cast a light on the silver of the quill.

What have I gotten myself into? I felt like weeping. If I let this thing burn, will the gods have pity and make me forget my feelings for her?

For a long time, I stared at my stretched hand, clutching the quill tight. The brandy has gotten to my head, and even if this helps me sleep tonight, tomorrow will still be a painful reminder of who I am and what I cannot have.

Slowly, I drew the crumpled package I was holding close to my chest.

I am the future King who will never want for nothing; and yet, a future King who lacks the will to have anything personal.

Placing the quill back in the box and smoothing the wrappings, I placed Shirayuki's gift inside the right drawer of my desk—along with a lock of my mother and Zen's hair, a blue colored stone and a child's book. The items inside the box may be of insignificant value to others. But to me, these are my personal treasures. The only belongings where it has weight in value—for a future King.