EF9:Okay here is a new story. Thanks to those who reviewed on Parrotboy, you make me feel all (coughevilcough) fuzzy.
Disclaimer: I own Naruto as much as I own Masashi Kishimoto
Drip drip drip. It was raining. Pat pat pat. He was running, running from something terrible. Something terrible, furious, and pink. "NARUTO!" You would think he'd know better by now, but no, he just had to give in to temptation.
He just had to ask Sakura if she was a natural pinky. Not the best thing to say during target practice. Now he was dodging a barrage shuriken while his no-good 'sensei' was wasting his time teaching a disinterested Sasuke about the finer points of the opposite sex, whilst said opposite sex (including a ticked-off Tsunade and a furious DEIDARA!) was chasing a giddy Jiraiya and blushing Orochimaru for, well, it's rather obvious for heaven's sake.
Naruto slowed down as Sakura finally passed out from exhaustion. It was now lunchtime so everyone's favorite jinchuuriki (no not Gaara, Naruto) decided to go to lunch at Ichiraku.
Now today was the birthday of one Hyuuga Hinata, who was being presented with the house specialty (a bowl of ramen with candles in it. Neji: Isn't that a fire haza-. he is then silenced by Ayame. Hiashi: Finally.) When everyone is settled down they find that Hinata has blown out the candles.
"So daughter-chan, did you make a wish?" inquired Hiashi.
"Y-yes f-fa-father," she replied.
"What did you wish?" asked Ten-ten.
"Don't be ridiculous, she OBVIOUSLY wished she was as strong as me!" retorted Hanabi , as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"While that would be a smart wish, she no doubt wished to have silky, manageable hair such as mine," said the arrogant-like-there-is-no-tomorrow Neji.
"Manageable, HA, you have to brush it 1,000 times a day," guffawed Kiba, who, somehow had managed to get ramen everywhere, including the seat of his pants. Don't ask me how, he just did.
"fhgfcbv,hlkhlghhfrherttksnifkhsiul," said Shino, but Kurenai, Kiba, and Mr. Aburame knew what it meant, it was Kikai for: "She clearly wished for me to lay her, which I will gladly do." Kurenai stood there with her jaw agape, Kiba (again, I don't know how he knew Kikai, he just did) wolf-whistled, Mr.A. dragged Shino home for a tedious, psychologically scarring lecture on 'the birds and the bees'(that would consist mostly of long awkward pauses), and the others just ignored them as per status quo.
"Yosh! She clearly wished for the courage to make the most of her springtime of youth!"
"OH LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
"LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!" and they hugged in front of a sun-set, even though it's only noon.
Right then I decided to invoke my mighty author powers (closest I'll ever get to omnipotence) and teleported to the fan-fiction allowing my body to adapt to this new environment changing to reflect the power I have in their universe so I resembled a brown Kyuubi with brown eyes.
I then invoked the ultimate power passed on to me by my French heritage. I glared, a glare with so much contempt and haughtiness that several angels attempted to commit suicide, 'cept they remembered that they're immortal and can't. So they settled for pounding Lee and Gai to a pulp. Satisfied that the morons were silenced I poofed away, content to resume my story.
"Uuuh, yeah. Well I think Hinata wished for a boyfriend, am I right?" said a winking-like-she-had-pink-eye Ino.
"W-we-well y-yeah s-so-sorta." Said Hinata. Just then, in a hurry to get ramen, one Uzumaki Naruto tripped and landed face-first in Hinata's lap.
But oblivious as ever Naruto just sat up and got out his wallet only to find… "NNOOOO! sniff Gama-chan is dead!" a chibified Naruto sat there looking at his pitifully empty frog purse. Hinata was heart-broken she had to comfort him. So she said the first thing that came into her pretty little stalker head.
"Naruto if you want we could share my ramen," she was no longer stammering and had a mischievious smirk.
"Sure okay," said Naruto. So they began slurping up noodles until suddenly… in a clichéd 'The Lady and The Tramp' moment they kissed, I shouldn't have to say how it happened, as for what it was like, well use your imagination you dirty little pervert.
However as you may have guessed Neji and Hiashi were furious that Naruto would 'dare take advantage of an innocent girl' and Hanabi was jealous that Hinata had kissed Naruto first (yes they both wanted him, Hanabi just never had enough screen-time to show it.
So the three of them gentle-fisted Naruto to Timbuktu.
TEN YEARS LATER IN TIMBUKTU
Emperor Naruto was ecstatic, he had finally completed the time-space conciousness injector. Why was he working on one and since when was he an emperor? Well when he landed in Timbuktu he landed on their tyrannical dictator squishing him.
So the natives proclaimed him a god, but he was like 'no' and they were like 'oh'. So then they proclaimed him emperor, and he was like 'okay'.
At first he was going to just return to Konoha, but it turned that Hinata got mad and blew everything up, and then he was sad, so he vowed to go back in time and prevent this grave error. It was a lucky thing that Timbuktu was the time travel capital of the world.
So here he is and he pressed a big flashing button and he poofed away.
TEN YEARS AGO KONOHA
There was an unseen flash and future-Naruto's mind was temporarily fused with Naruto, then the whole kiss thing happened, so future-Naruto told Naruto to duck and he did. Then Future-Naruto told Naruto to take Hinata now.
So Naruto pulled her an embrace, and of course the others had to ruin the moment by asking what Hinata wished for.
"This," she said.
"I'm glad I'm with you, Hinata-chan," Naruto said. "You're nice and sweet; nothing like that witch Sakura."
"NARUTO!"
"Crud."
Drip, drip, drip. It was raining. Pat, pat, pat. He was running, running from something terrible. Something terrible, furious, and pink. "NARUTO!" You would think he would know better by now, but no, he just had to give in to temptation.
Yup, just another day in that madhouse, Konoha.
Hope you like, please review!