The Road to Learning

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I don't own Naruto or Hinata or anything that might be crossing their minds... I'm just a sad fic writer

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How to define happiness…

She had always believed happiness was different for everyone, and so, throughout her life, she had constantly searched for a definition of her own.

When she was three, happiness was the smell of dry roses and cinnamon, the smell of the afternoon… her mother. She would everyday go into her mother's private garden, with a sense of pride and power, knowing she was the only intruder allowed, knowing she would find her there staring at the sunset, a cup of tea in her hands… she would ask for a sip of it, plead and plead till her mother gave in, only to be minutes later regretting it… the taste was so sour.

After her mother passed away giving birth to her sister, her father had explained how she couldn't go to the garden anymore, but to her, it was no longer important… happiness had fled that place anyway, why would she go back? She learned that happiness could be a memory, and unlike before, she could take it with her everywhere. She also learned to like sour teas.

At the age of five, her father begun to personally train her, and happiness became exercise, sweat and bruises… everything mixed within the air of cold mornings. But she felt empowered again, he didn't teach anyone else but her. She would fight him everyday and everyday she would loose… how could she do anything to hurt him?

She begun to worry when her sister was included in those sessions, but she left soon her fears behind, how could she be so selfish? Hanabi was a part of her mother as father had said, and as such she should treat her. And she learned to like their moments together, and she learned what family meant, and slowly she added sharing to happiness.

But then… came a morning when she wasn't called, the morning when her father didn't ask for her, the morning she realized she had been left behind. And she discovered happiness was breakable, and she discovered pain… because it's not the same, having no other choice than be with you and having one but still choose you.

So, happiness was a matter of choice… and they decided to take it away from her… because… because she wasn't worth it.

They had taken her away of the bond family was, but she understood it as a test, now she knew training wasn't happiness, but a way to get there, so all she did was train… because if she was strong, then they would look at her as they did before, they would embrace her again, and the happiness she once felt would come back and warm her heart once more.

At the age of seven, she was a sad, lonely girl… she hadn't found yet her concept of happiness, she still did her training, but to no avail, Hanabi was always superior to her father's eyes.

She often wondered if happiness was a one thing deal, perhaps you could only have it once, and she just had been lucky to have felt it twice; but then little things started to happen around her, smells, laughs, colours… everything gave her a small remembrance of happiness, and everything related to him.

When she started school she thought her father would be proud of her, she thought he would finally let her be happy again, but that didn't happen, her father never gave her any sort of recognition, never shared the happiness he so carelessly gave to her sister. And a part of her heart desisted, and a part of her heart died.

And then she found him again.

When she was eight, she remembered Ino telling them a story. It was about a prince and a lonely girl, who became a princess by marrying him, and because they loved each other so much, they ended up living together happily ever after… happily.

And she thought that maybe she had been wrong all along; all of these years she was looking for happiness, and she forgot to look for love first. After all, the princess hadn't been happy at all throughout the story, but when she met him, all of that changed. She learned that all this time she hadn't been looking for happiness really; all she was doing was longing for someone's love, first her mother and then her father… even Hanabi's.

So now she knew, she had gained an important knowledge, she had to look for love.

But love isn't an easy thing to find, could it be that love was a standard thing? Or, as happiness, it was different for everyone. Love, she understood, was something shared between two individuals. It was love between the prince and the princess, it was love between her and her mother, and it was love between her father and her sister, and because they were two, and love could only be shared with one person, she was left out.

And so, her mission was clear now, she had to find someone to love, who didn't have anyone to love either.

And once again, she saw him.

He wasn't a loved child, sure, he was loud and annoying, he could out best Chouji at gluttony and Shikamaru at laziness, and he was a pebble in the shoes of every professor; but she could see now, she could finally understand the reason why he was that way, after all, as they say, it takes one to know one. He was after love too.

He had always been around her, she just hadn't seen him before for what he was, but the second she understood, she decided she would love him forever, because that's how she wanted to be loved… forever.

Then she started noticing things about him, like the way he twisted the hem of his shirt every once in a while, when he thought no one was watching, a subconscious act that brought tears to her eyes, because she knew he was holding his, and if she could do nothing else, she would cry for them both.

She looked at him everyday, because in the story it was the prince who realized the loneliness of the little girl, and it was him who rescued her… but was that ok? He seemed so lost, so needed; she felt that perhaps they could both take a little step; she felt that perhaps, they could both rescue each other.

But she waited, because she didn't feel she had anything to offer him at the time. She waited because she wasn't worth it still. She now knew who he was, but he didn't, he still depended on everyone, and he still couldn't see; she had found him, but he was adamant to admit he was lost.

And so years passed, he let anger transform his search for love for one of recognition, and she noticed, because he didn't thought he was worth it either, he thought that perhaps if he was stronger, if he was powerful, then… then people would realize what she had known all along, and maybe someone would also dare to see him as an equal, as someone worth to love.

She waited, even when she found out about his little crush on Sakura, she waited, because she could no longer separate love and him, because he was love, because she had made a decision long ago, because she chose to love him, because she had but one heart to give, and she had given it to him.

And every definition she had made for love and happiness, disappeared at the sight of his sky blue eyes; because, just like the infinity they represented, she could no longer find the beginning nor the end of what once was her will of loving him, because she had no longer control over her feelings.

But he couldn't see… he wouldn't spare a glance at her; he didn't understand the love her eyes gave him or the longing they held. He was blind to her love; because, althoughhe never stopped looking for it… he didn't look the right direction.

She had lost a part of her heart when his father stopped loving her, and the rest of it was Hanabi's and Naruto's, so when her sister betrayed her and got engaged to him, she thought she would die; she never thought he had betrayed her also, because in reality, he had never known of her feelings, and so, there were no feelings to betray on his part, but Hanabi… Hanabi knew, and even though her sister had ripped her soul, all she did was congratulate her, and with the kiss she gave her, she also gave her the part of her heart that had always been hers.

Hinata couldn't understand how could someone survive and keep living with a broken heart, but that's what she did, and she added pain to what love was.

But life isn't just about one love, or some sort of happiness that we come across; because we are so littlebut yet still significant, and even though one tragedy will not change the course of the world, it just might change some hearts.

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Author's note: I know I know, I didn't like the ending either, it's just that I imagined this to be a three chapter fic, so I needed to let the possibility hanging there, tell me what do you think:

Should I turn it into a three chapter thing or should I just leave it like a one shot.

The next chapter would be introducing Kiba, if anyone is interested.

And, do you notice how the one taking away her loved ones is always Hanabi? didn't realize it before... I had to re-read it to notice