A/N - And so I've extended the 'As Long As You're Mine' scene. Duh. You must've seen that coming. Or not. You probably forgot what I wrote it's been so long. Anyway, It's pretty much plotless, really. But don't rush me, I know you want Fiyeraba as much as I do. There'll be some form of plot...soon.Oh yea, danke sehr to Yero My Hero for letting me use her 'retrospection is my friend' dealio(and you say you can't write dialogue, psh).And, lastly,Wicked is owned by not I.
The morning sunshine splayed over the treetops, warming the earth and the two young lovers that were lying in the clearing. The bright colors of the early-morning aurora penetrated Elphaba's dark clothing and heated her to a form of groggy awakeness. She stood, giving no second thought as to where she was. In her heart, she knew.
Elphaba resisted her heart-tingling urge to press her palm into Fiyero's diamonded fingers to wake him. Last night his eyes had awakened something inside of her. As she thought of the night before, she felt her heart bloom in her chest. She couldn't resist smiling.
As she stretched her long legs and arms, Elphaba realized how much she needed someone to talk to. Since she had left Shiz, Elphaba had buried herself in her radicalism, hiding herself from the outside world and the pain that it brought with it. Looking over at Fiyero's form, Elphaba saw that he needed the same thing as she did: Each other.
"Elphaba?"
Fiyero's voice snapped Elphaba out of her reverie. "I'm here," she said softly. Almost afraid to bring her voice above a whisper, terrified that she would reveal an unElphaba-like emotion in it if it was too loud. She turned to face him, attempting to keep her face blank.
"Morning," he said softly, coming to stand next to her.
"And so it is," she answered, putting her face down to watch as the dry grass blew and snapped in the cool winter breeze. Elphaba realized she was stilling wearing Fiyero's coat, and wrapped it tighter around her body - not of being cold, but longing for it to be close to her.
"What are you doing? You look even more thoughtful than normal."
Elphaba looked at him, and smiled lightly. "Tell me, dear Fiyero, what is normal in your perspective? And if you must know, I was thinking…about my life and what it's become."
"Shiz?"
She smiled again. "A little. Retrospection is my friend."
"Chupacabras, too. Am I right?" Fiyero asked, smiling warmly. He then took her hand and gently played with her fingers. Elphaba watched him a moment before answering.
"No. I long for nothing more than to never go back there ever. I had thought that what I had situated myself with was good - amazing, even. But, Fiyero, if you ever knew.." Elphaba gently pulled her fingers away, feeling guilty for enjoying something so…so, restricted, so off-limits to her.
He pulled her close again. "Tell me."
Elphaba pushed him away. "No. I can't. I shouldn't be here. I've screwed up my life already, I don't want to do the same to yours, Fiyero. I'm good for one night of comfort, because I've suffered-"
"Elphaba, stop! What's got into you?" Fiyero cried, grabbing her shoulders. "What's so bad that you have to go off the handle and weird out on me?" His azure eyes stared passionately into her hazel ones.
"You can't know. You can never know." With that, Elphaba, on impulse, pressed her lips against his - repeating over and over in her head that what she was doing was the right thing.
Fiyero was surprised by Elphaba's actions. He had never thought her to be one to act on impulse. Fiyero had always seen her as self-controlled. But, at this moment in time, he decided he didn't care. He was slowly -well, not slowly- falling in love with Elphaba. Fiyero was falling head over heels.
"Elphaba," he said, pulling away breathlessly.
"No. Don't say anything, please," she said. "I want to know how it feels to be useful and pertinent and have common sense. Let me in, let me in to the club, because I want to belong. I need to get strong, and if memory serves, I'm addicted to words and they're useless." She shook her head vigorously, adding the last part almost forcefully.
Since when had Elphaba been the one to look at retrospection so vehemently? Fiyero had a notion that she was torturing herself, telling herself that there was something wrong with her. He had never seen her as one to want to fit in with the rest of the conformists, never to be the one to be the one to feel stupid. "No, Elphaba. Don't do this to yourself. You've never cared what people thought of you. Why the sudden change of heart?" he asked, tightening his grip on her shoulders.
"Never, huh, Fiyero? We all have some yearning to be understood, to be liked, to be known. I'm not excluded, as much as I wish I could be. Fate is cruel, Fiyero, I need things just as much as you do. I just avert showing it as much as most people. That's the way I was raised - to never care, to never show emotion. I was my father's pawn."
(the night at the ozdust)
Was that why Elphaba had shown up? The need for something more than books and class?
"Elphaba-"
"Stop. Just, stop. I can see in your eyes that you're slowly figuring me out. Unnerving it may be, yet calming at the same time," she said, oddly progressive. She seemed to notice it, and put her head down. "You should go, Fiyero."
"Now? No. I'm not leaving you, Elphaba. You're already in enough trouble if I do say so myself, and I….can't leave you."
Elphaba smiled sadly. "You have to, Yero my hero. I, ever the Pinker, have gotten myself into quite a predicament. You're not safe with me. I can defend myself."
"Tell me. I can help. I've been trained."
Elphaba laughed forcefully. "You, Fiyero, cannot help."
"And may I ask why not, Miss Elphaba?" he asked.
"Oh, ugh. Not that 'Miss Elphaba' stuff again. You can't help, Fiyero, because you are the root cause of this. Of everything."
Fiyero was confused, and he made no move to hide it. "I'm the root cause? How so? I don't get you, Elphaba."
She laughed again. "You're the only one."
"You know that I didn't mean it that way, Elphie."
"I know you didn't. I just couldn't resist taking advantage of that - a fresh pun wafting through the air."
"A new form of self-degrading if you ask me," replied Fiyero dryly.
"That it may be. Yes, Yero, you are the root cause." Elphaba took a deep breath before she continued. Maybe it was selfish of Elphaba to lay her burdens on Fiyero's back…but he seemed so understanding. Elphaba just knew he was acting, though. Wasn't he? "Suffering. Tell me what it means to you."
"Suffering? I guess it implies..pain? I don't know. Elphaba, should I have studied for this?"
"No," replied Elphaba, restraining herself from dashing through the woods and running clear out of Oz. "Have you ever seen -or heard- of any terrorist cells within the Emerald City gates?" she asked, gulping.
"Terrorist cells? Elphaba, what have you done?" Fiyero asked, suddenly even more so fearful for her safety.
"What have I done?" she cried. "Fiyero, I was ordered to kill you." She clapped her hand over her mouth, not meaning to be so forward. Elphaba looked away and let out an exasperated sigh. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"For what?" he whispered back. "You didn't try - or did you?"
"No, I didn't. I thought about it, though, which is just as bad. My suspicions have just been confirmed."
"Suspicions?"
"Yes. I've always believed that I'm a terrible person. Now I know for sure," she said, without emotion.
"You're not terrible." Fiyero ran his hands down the length of Elphaba's arms and intertwined his fingers with hers. "You're anything but." He planted a firm kiss on her waiting lips, pressing harder as his passion and need grew.
Galinda, or Glinda, or whatever her name was these days was nothing compared to Elphaba. And he told her so.
She gently ran her grass green hand over the side of his face, longingly, lovingly. "No. I am nothing compared to Miss Galindy," she said, though fondly. "Because it is such that she exists."
"Oh, and you don't?" he asked, gently running his fingers through her hair.
"Nope. I have no soul." She smiled, as if proud. Though, again, Fiyero had a notion that she was pretending.
"Why are you smiling? Elphie, deceptive?"
"It's in the human nature," she said, quoting the Wizard's words of adeu. "So I'm already dead on the inside, but I can still pretend with my memories and photographs. I have learned to love the lie," she replied.
"It's amazing how you can read my mind. Creepy, even."
"Yes, it is. I am tired, and I am hungry, and I am totally useless," she said finally, flopping herself down onto the log where they had slept, it still warm from their body heat.
"Would you stop saying that? I'm tired of reassuring you of your realness." But, in truth, Fiyero realized that he didn't mind in the least bit. For the longest time, Fiyero had been feeling dead inside. Did he love the lie, too? He didn't think so, but a monotonous life with Glinda had taken it's toll on him. Being with Elphaba had changed something within him. Suicide references were no longer his sustenance.
"Maybe one day I'll win, but for now I've decided to die. Just, curl up on this log and die."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Of course I wouldn't. You'd kill me with your monotonous murmuring first." She kissed him then laid her head on his chest. She couldn't explain why she was being so liberal in her actions - but being with Fiyero had made her open up. She decided, without much debate, that she liked the odd, bubbling feeling. "Sir soldier,
You've been such a positive influence on my mental frame. If I could ever repay you, I would, but I'm hard up for cash and my memory lacks initiative."
"No thanks needed, Elphie dearest."
"Oh, come now, don't start that Glinda deal now."
Elphaba closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of the warm winter sun, Fiyero's arm wrapped around her nearly skeletal body, the scent of him. She took in a deep breath, wanting nothing more than to just fall asleep in the position she was in now. Slowly, she felt her body shut down, her eyes rolled back, and she fell into a coma-like stupor of sleep.
Fiyero watched her fall asleep, not wanting to disturb her. Elphaba deserved more than she had gotten, and he willed himself to not take anything from her. Ever. Including him.