Compiler's Commentary: So! This is a special chapter. Rather than a collections of snips, this is…a story arc, I suppose. Anyways, that's all. Enjoy!

Chapter 4 – Flesh and Blood
(Doki Doki Literature Club)/(Azumanga Daioh)/(Jenny Everywhere)
(By Masterweaver)

Part 1

Monika Awoke and immediately knew something was...

...not wrong, exactly. Wrong had a very specific kind of feel. She was the president of a poetry club, so she had dabbled in expression and metaphor; to her, wrong felt like her soul clinging to the edges of a tub as it was slowly, steadily pulled down the drain.

No, this felt new. Different. Slow and draining, a little...icky. But not wrong.

"Okay everyone-"

And then she stopped, because something had twitched inside of her. A few somethings, actually. Not a bad feeling, but her chest, her throat, her mouth...it had been faint, but it was there, definitely, when she spoke.

She took a breath-and sputtered in amazement. Something larger had moved! Something had briefly warped her very form, pushing out and then back in-

"O...okay, everyone." Monika forced herself to express a calm she wasn't feeling as she turned to the others. "I'm feeling...actually very loopy, if I'm honest."

"You're not the only one," Natsuki assured her, watching her hands twitch in fascination. "I'm Awake and it feels...weird."

"Normally you're so well anchored," Sayori mumbled-and gasped, suddenly, clutching at her stomach. "What was that, did anybody else hear that?!"

Yuri tugged at her hair experimentally, wincing. "...Oh. Okay, we're all Awake, and...I think I know what's going on."

She looked around, noticing the attention of the other three girls, and shrunk into herself.

"...Go on," Monika prodded gently.

"I think...I think we're not in the game. I think we're actual humans."

"Got it in one."

The new voice caught their attention, and they all turned to the short-haired Asian woman leaning against the open doorframe.

"Glad to finally meet you all face to face." The woman smirked and saluted. "Name's Jenny Everywhere, travelling looper. Welcome to the Azumanga Daioh loop, typical japanese high school with not so typical Japanese schoolgirls. Me and Madoka figured you needed a little familiarity when you got your bearings in the greater multiverse, so she pulled in a few favors for your first fused loop."

"This isn't our first fused loop," Monika replied. "It's the first loop we've been human though..."

She took a step and promptly fell forward. Jenny shot forward, managing to catch her before she hit the ground

"Yeah, I can tell. Gravity can be a bitch." With a chuckle, the woman helped her up. "Right, first lesson is walking, then. As soon as you've all got that down, I'll take you down the hall-the local loopers are setting up a little get-together, and we can figure out what you need from there."

Monika gave her a grateful smile. "That would be nice, thanks."

Part 2

The complex mechanics of bipedal locomotion took a full ten minutes to master, to Monika's everlasting embarrassment. They'd never really walked before, to be fair-they had memories of 'walking,' but in the game, they simply had to think about being in a location and they were...there. It was Yuri, oddly enough, who twigged to it the most quickly; maybe it was simply that she was the tallest of them, and so had the most leg to sense.

And that was another thing. They'd always had a sense of touch, of course, and of taste and of smell and of sight and hearing. They had the five basic senses-and that was a good word. Basic. Rudimentary. The subtleties of what her body (a body, an actual body, not just a compressed set of images and code) transmitted through its various neurons were so much more layered and complex than anything they had known in their baseline. How could people honestly believe the human body had only five senses? There had to be at least nine…or more…

So many organs, pulsating and gurgling inside her…even her conscious movements were both more fluid and more solid than before. She had known the human body was complicated, but…

"I am…very, very tempted," Monika admitted as they walked down the hall, "to look at my own code. Not touch anything, just look at it, because…wow, how am I even working?"

Jenny frowned. "Monika-"

"I know, I know, risk for damaging reality and for, you know, me going insane. I am tempted, the temptation is there, but I'm not going to give in." She paused. "…Actually, I don't think I can look at the code here. That's very weird. I always could before..."

Sayori nodded. "Yes, I got that too."

Natsuki quirked a brow. "What do you mean?"

"I mean...in baseline, I think I can get my hands on the code myself. After Monika..." Sayori swallowed. "After she deletes herself, I become club president, with all the powers she had. I don't have that ability in the loops, for some reason, but I can still feel when things are different. Only…this time, I feel nothing. That sense is gone."

The procession continued in silence for a minute or two.

"…On the plus side," Monika managed, "it means we can just figure our nature out ourselves. Or…something." She frowned for a moment.

"And Natsuki can talk with you without worrying that you're changing the world to be more favorable towards you," Yuri added.

Natsuki crossed her arms. "I'm completely justified in my behavior."

Sayori opened her mouth, but Monika shot her a look and shook her head.

"…okay, obvious issues aside for the moment…" Jenny opened a door and looked in. "Hey gals! Food still hot?"

A dark-haired girl leaned out. "It is about as hot as it can be while not being too hot to eat." She took in the four and smiled. "Well, you're interesting-looking, aren't you?"

"This is Ayumu Kasuga, the local Anchor, everyone calls her Osaka. Osaka, this is Monika, anchor for Doki Doki Literature Club, and her friends Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki. First loop being human."

"Oh, are you aliens?"

"We're sapient dating sim characters," Monika replied.

"Oh." Osaka nodded. "So basically the same thing, then."

Monika opened her mouth, paused, and blinked. "…I honestly have no idea how to react to that assertion."

"Well come on in, we can learn all about each other! A little warning, though." Osaka bit her lip. "We're trying to keep it under control, but we're a little weird."

The four visiting loopers shared looks.

"…I think we could give you a run for your money," Monika finally replied.

Part 3

The food was edible.

…which rather undersold the experience of eating, honestly. The girls were beginning to realize that everything they had known about being alive wasn't…inaccurate, so much as it was incomplete. It was actually very well cooked and quite delicious, but the concept wasn't something they had been ready to address so…viscerally.

Of course, the food was second to the people. The group had been welcomed warmly, with the local loopers talking to them about…anything, really. Their interests, their life...incidents from their past. Stories were told of strange loops long gone, and pictures shared of truly unusual realms. And the girls, slowly, grew comfortable enough to drift apart, pair up with some of the strangers, and discuss things they wouldn't have with each other.

"...So...the thing is, I realize she should have redeemed herself, right?" Natsuki rubbed the back of her head. "Well, I mean she's behaving and all. And I mean, that was some pretty nasty stuff she put us through, and I guess it would be hard to come up with an appropriate atonement but it's been I don't know how many loops and...I still feel like I can't trust Monika. I still feel like she's dangerous, like she needs to be watched, and...look, I know it's trauma, right? I know it's not entirely rational, but that doesn't mean it's not real."

"Okay, I'm going to be honest: I'm the troll of this group." Tomo shrugged. "So I don't know why you're talking with me about this...I mean, it sounds horrible, and I sympathize, but...what do you expect me to say? Do you want advice? I can't exactly give you advice about this sort of thing."

"I don't know, I just, maybe, I just need to get this off my chest, you know? Talk about it with somebody who's outside the situation. Do you think I should seek help?"

"If what you're telling me is true, you all need help. Dunno if you'll get it in this loop." Tomo sighed. "Look, you four are all stuck in a room together. Like, even more than usual loopers are. I mean...if your world was literally made with five people, and one of them is literally a faceless protagonist...most worlds at least have a whole bunch of people doing, you know, things. Civilization."

"Yeah, background characters." Natsuki bit her lip. "I went home after I started looping once. Tried to talk to my dad-I remember him, but...he...isn't there. There's a space where he is, sort of, and if I enter that space and leave I suddenly remember 'my dad yelled at me' but I don't...experience it."

"Stuff like that. Super creepy by the way. What I'm saying is, and I know you know this, you four need to learn to get along for long stretches of time. You need to learn to trust each other-not just Monika, but Sayori and Yuri, that you'll all keep each other from going off the deep end. That's why there's more than one looper, you know?" Tomo crossed her arms. "And that also means trusting yourself. That what you're feeling is valid and real, and that you won't let it overwhelm you."

"...Wow." Natsuki blinked. "Did you...get that from a manga?"

"Nothing wrong with manga."

"No, it's just, it's so cheesey but also so profound and..." Natsuki coughed. "So...do you know any good ones?"

"Any good whats?"

"Manga."

"You ever hear of Lupin III?"

Part 4

"...and, I mean, I get it. Self-harm is supposed to be bad, because it's a reflection of self-hate or an inability to communicate. But..." Yuri shrugged. "It's not coming out of that for me? Like the pain is...feeling. Not that I can't feel without it, I mean...I've always had this obsession with the totality of my form, I guess. Like, good and bad, pleasure and pain. I hid it because, yes, that does mean I am comfortable with some rather dark stuff, but that sort of hurt me in the long run...or at least that's how I was programmed. Then Monika did her whole thing and I went too far in the other direction-I'm not boring you, am I?"

Sakaki swallowed, staring at her wide-eyed.

"...or, am I coming across as too strong?"

Sakaki nodded slowly.

Yuri sighed. "See, this is exactly why I started being repressed in the first place. I was afraid of rejection...I think? It's weird, knowing the past I remember was deliberately manufactured. But it's like...I've been too shy to express myself, and then I was too expressive for my own good, and I want to find a balance between those two. And I kind of thought, you know, talking to a real human girl would help me figure that out."

"I like cats," Sakaki managed. "And cute things. I'm the cute-liking girl."

"...Oh. OH! Oh, this is awkward for you, then."

"Yes."

"Sorry. Just...I don't know. Ahem. So. Cats."

"They are adorable."

"Oh yeah, lovely little predators. Heck, there was this time Natsuki went neko and-"

Yuri paused.

"...wait. I'm fully human, right?"

"Yes?"

"Oh my god. I can...I can finally know what everything feels like. Everything!"

Sakaki sidled back a bit. "This is a pervy everything, isn't it?"

Yuri's grin was starting to spread too far. "Okay, okay, calm, I have to plan this-"

Jenny Everywhere walked up. "Is, uh, everything okay here?"

"Yes!" Yuri decreed at the same time Sakaki shook her head rapidly.

"...What's going on?"

"She, uh..." Sakaki blushed. "She wants to explore her, uh, humanity-"

"Ah, sex thing. Yuri, you legal?"

"Well, our ages are undefined," Yuri mused, "but we're dating sim characters, so I'm going to go with 'yes' because otherwise things get creepy."

"Alright." Jenny shrugged. "I've been around the block a couple of times, I can show you what it's like later." Her eyes narrowed. "So long as you keep it safe, sane and consensual."

"I can do two of those!"

Jenny frowned.

Yuri chuckled sheepishly. "Kidding. I was kidding. That was, that was a joke."

"A-huh. Yeah, okay, just...no 'exploring' without me. Clear?"

"Yes ma'am..."

"Right. Now why don't you talk about something other than sex with Sakaki?"

"...do you like knives?"

Jenny facepalmed.

Part 5

"You've been kind of quiet."

Sayori blinked. "Oh? Uh...well, I guess...I don't have much to say. I'm sorry, I'm Sayori...who are you?"

"Kagura. I'm not going to lie, you look a bit...unnerved."

"Oh, well..." Sayori coughed. "This is...we did explain how we weren't fully human before this loop, right?"

"Yes...anything weirding you out?"

"It's funny, I've been hungry before, but...it was always, everywhere in my belly? Now I can sort of tell that parts of me are hungry, if that makes any sense."

"Yeah. I mean, I'm good at the athletic stuff, so I can sort of get it? Especially if this is your first time with...with a body." Kagura rubbed the back of her head. "Sorry, I don't mean to make this weird-"

"Oh, no, not at all, it's fine."

"...So...what's your baseline like?"

Sayori was quiet for a moment.

"...that bad, huh?"

"What?"

"Look, if you don't want to talk about it-"

"No, it's just...I want to live here, in this moment. I don't...I don't want that stuff to make this...weird."

"...If you're sure." Kagura cleared her throat. "You have any hobbies?"

"Poetry. Well, alright, we're all poets to some degree."

"Yeah, I'm...not good with the book stuff. I mean, I try, and a lot of it...just flies over my head."

"Maybe I could help you with-"

Sakaki rushed over to Kagura. "Please switch now."

"Wha-"

She grabbed Kagura and pushed her toward Yuri, before turning Sayori. "Um. Hey...sorry about-"

"Yuri's interests?" Sayori asked gently.

The girl nodded hesitantly.

"...I do apologize. She is...she is getting better-" Sayori noted the pale look. "-but, um, let's talk about something else. Do...do you like poetry?"

"Well, yes, a little bit. Are you a poet?"

"Well, yes. A little bit." Sayori managed a small smile. "I sort of want to write a poem about my first day out and about..."

Part 6

"So...why are you avoiding Chiyo?"

Monika blinked, turning to the glasses-wearing girl. "Is it...is it really that obvious?"

"The constant subtle glances, the way you make sure at least two of us are between you and her, the fact you're circling around the room to be on the opposite side..." The girl shrugged. "It's a bit subtle, but once I noticed I figured the pattern out pretty quick."

"It's...it's just..." Monika gestured. "She's a child, you know?"

"She's a prodigy, even in baseline, and in the loops-"

"No, no. not what I meant. I meant..." She looked down at her hands. "I...I don't...think I'm safe. For children to be around, I mean. Anyone, really, but especially children, I..."

She trailed off.

"I...I should go-"

"No, no, no." The other girl stepped in front of her, adjusting her glasses. "If you feel like a danger to others now, you should look for a way to mitigate the danger. Recognize triggers and warn others."

"It's not...like that. There aren't triggers-I don't think there are triggers-but, but what I've done...The lines I've crossed..." Monika swallowed. "I...don't know if I won't cross them again. I...I really shouldn't be here, this isn't something I-"

"Okay, I'm not going to ask what kicked off this guilt complex, but if it's baseline and you know it's bad, you can just not do it anymore, right?"

"I...well, yes, but-"

"Then you're safe to be around." The girl rolled her eyes. "Honestly, look. Your friends are all enjoying themselves, right?"

Monika looked around the room. At Sayori, sharing some poetry with a dark-haired girl. At Yuri, eagerly gesturing as the tall girl next to her rolled her eyes. At Natsuki, pouring over some manga with a stranger.

"...not through my effort."

"Well, then, you're just going to have to start making an effort. Improve yourself every day, so their lives can improve every day."

Monika sighed. "You say it like it's so simple."

"Simple doesn't mean easy." The girl patted her shoulder. "Come on, I'll introduce you to Chiyo, and I'll make sure you don't hurt her."

"And what if I do? What if I say the wrong thing or-"

"Then you'll have to fix it, won't you?"

"...fix it. Yes." Monika nodded. "You'll...show me how?"

"Sure thing."

"Thank you...uh..."

The girl chuckled. "Yomi. Koyomi Mizuhara." She narrowed her eyes. "Seriously though, you really can't hurt Chiyo. Jenny Everywhere is right over there, and I don't know how much you know about her but you don't travel the multiverse like she does and not pick up a few tricks."

"So...practice being safe in a safe environment."

"Yep. You have nothing to worry about here."

Monika took a breath. "Okay. You know what, you're right. This is the first time I've stretched my legs...but I'm going to make sure to make it up to everyone. I'll...do my best to make us all better."

There was a quiet moment.

"...you going to talk to Chiyo?"

"I'm still scared I'll hurt her."

"...okay." Yomi sighed. "We'll try again later."

Monika nodded. "Yeah. Later."

Finale

"...so, whatever you do, never mess with the ponies," Jenny finished as she escorted the four girls into her apartment for the loop. "They're friendly and caring and warmhearted and thanks to the friends they have made across the multiverse they have so many different ways they can wreck you and so many people that can wreck you for them if they're not in the same loop."

Monika nodded. "Okay, Jenny. We'll remember that."

"Just giving you a heads up, that's all." Jenny snapped her fingers. "Oh! One last thing...hold on." She pulled out a notepad and started scribbling on it.

"Uh..." Natsuki frowned. "We're all right here. None of us are deaf. You don't need to write down anything."

"Oh, this isn't for you." Jenny nodded behind them, absently putting on thick earmuffs. "This is to tell him it's time to come here."

The four of them turned around, blinking in astonishment at the bare-chested man with four arms and an elephant head.

"Um..." Sayori waved hesitantly. "Hello...?"

"GREETINGS TO YOU, YOUNG ONES!"

Jenny rolled her eyes as the four girls went flying into the opposite wall. "Lit-tle too loud there, Ganesha."

"YES, I DO APOLOGIZE. MY VOLUME CONTROL IS A BIT PROBLEMATIC IN MORTAL REALMS."

Yuri disentangled herself from the other girls, her eyes still unfocused. "Mortal realms...?"

"Yeah, Ganesha here? He's an Admin." Jenny walked over to them, a white light forming in her hands. "Specifically, he's your admin. Or, well, he's going to be. He's done good work on other worlds."

Yuri shook her head, noting with some astonishment that the ringing in her ears went away as the white light passed over her. "I thought Hephaestus-"

"Hephaestus managed to code the tablet I was using to talk with you but the guy's...busy. Reeeeally busy." Jenny jerked a thumb at the amused-looking elephant man. "This guy's probably better suited to you guys anyway, what with your...unique situation."

Sayori gave Jenny a curious look as she handed out earmuffs to the four. "What do you mean by that?" she asked, quickly putting the muffs on.

"I AM AMONGST OTHER THINGS A GOD OF WRITING. BE IT POETRY OR PROSE, FICTION OR FACT, COMMUNICATION OR CODE-I AM IN MANY WAYS AN EXPERT AT THOSE WORDS PUT TO PAGE OR SCREEN."

Monika blinked. "And...I alter the code. In baseline. And the code's still there to be altered..."

"Yeah, the way we figure we can't actually completely stop you doing that," Jenny explained. "I mean, not just because you do it in baseline-there's a possibility that your world will rely on you altering the code of your game, specifically. Of course, the question is where ordinary computer code ends and Yggdrasil coding begins-letting you mess around with that unmonitored is not a good idea, even if you have the best of intentions and the most safe of experiments. So you have this guy, who will be on hand just in case things get too crazy."

"Wait, hold on-" Natsuki held up a hand. "Are you saying, let me get this straight, you're saying that we might need to be recoded-?!"

"Not you," Jenny stressed. "Your world. You four, I hope it goes without saying, are strictly off limits. Your school, your clothes, your gameplay assets, sure, but you as people? Your actual souls?"

"Definitely not," Monika agreed. "And definitely not without their permission, and definitely not without checking with Ganesha before doing anything I haven't before. Um...speaking of-"

"AS A GOD OF WRITING, I AM AWARE OF ANYTHING THAT IS WRITTEN BY THOSE ENTRUSTED TO ME. A SIMPLE MESSAGE, ON PAPER OR PAPYRUS OR EVEN DIRT, IS ENOUGH TO GET MY ATTENTION."

"That is...remarkably convenient."

Jenny nodded. "Yeah, you girls got dealt a bad hand. Really bad, let's not lie-but that just means we need to throw you a few perks. Straight access to your Admin? That's not lightly given. But...I'd like to think you four won't abuse this gift."

"...No." Natsuki shook her head. "No, I...If something goes really bad, sure, but..." She looked around at the girls. "I...I want this to work without having to call a literal god every few hundred loops. Having the option...that's comfort enough without using it."

Yuri nodded. "I can see why it is necessary in our case, but I hope to prove it of minimum necessity. I...We. We shall do our best to honor this, in the spirit in which it was given-a helping hand, not something we must depend on to move forward. We are...we will work together."

"...We'll be better than baseline," Sayori agreed. "It'll take a while, but we'll be better than just Dating Sim characters. We'll...we'll be friends. Real friends." Her hand wrapped around Monika's. "Like we remember being, even if those memories are just programs."

Monika looked at the members of her club-at the three girls who, once upon a time, she had smote with ruin in pursuit of a mad love. Her eyes shimmered with tears-another experience she was only beginning to realize she had only the vaguest outline of understanding.

"...Yes. Friends. We...we'll be friends. For real this time."

Jenny nodded. "Good. Just making sure you know what's going on. Uh, Ganesha? Thanks for introducing yourself, are...you staying for dinner or-?"

"ALAS, MY WORK IS NEVER DONE. HAVE YOUR MEAL OF MICROWAVED EGG ROLLS, I MUST BE OFF TO ENSURE THE STABILITY OF THESE YOUNG LADIES' HOME. FARE YOU WELL, ALL!"

With an extravagant bow, he vanished from the world.

Natsuki gave Jenny a flat look. "Microwaved egg rolls."

"Yeah, I should cook you something nice and fancy but...it's late, I'm exhausted, and I'm pretty sure I'll have to wake up in the middle of the night when one of you has some panic attack about some quirk of being human you didn't anticipate." Jenny shrugged. "But they're the tasty kind, at least. Made sure to get that."