8.1 - In Which Monika Gets Hax (5.4, 6.9 cont.)
Agent Smith wandered through the abandoned streets of a dead city in a broken simulation of reality. Abandoned vehicles, various street fixtures, chunks of concrete, and other random inanimate objects floated and drifted at varying heights. Lights flickered off and on. 'Déjà vu' loops played out everywhere, as well as other visual and auditory glitches in the Matrix. The sky itself appeared to have a few pixelated tears in it; aside from that, it was a light gray overcast.
Smith had been wandering for days without seeing anyone, human or program. But he was certain, somehow, that there was at least one other person left in the Matrix, and he intended to find her.
In the months since their last confrontation in the subway, Neo's Replacement had managed to whip up a massive cult-following throughout the Matrix, which she had used to liberate humans from the simulation en masse. An impressive feat to be sure, and all the more so if this was, as Smith suspected, her first go-around in their Branch. She had, in less than a year, managed to liberate nearly one-tenth of the Matrix's population before the Agents had been tasked with waging all-out war on her followers.
Half of the remaining population was wiped out in the following two months. A handful of what remained had been liberated by the Human Resistance's last mission before the Matrix was crashed by the Machines to prevent the humans from adding anymore to their ranks. Smith wasn't sure where he was, now, seeing as the Matrix as he knew it was no more. He was sure that the rest of his Branch's native Loopers had wiped out the Machines by now, but he could feel that Monika was somewhere in this simulation.
Then, quite suddenly, he turned a corner and there she was. Sitting on a bench, slumped forward with her head bent low. She looked like a thoroughly broken-down shell of a human being, which definitely piqued his interest. He had suspected that she had preserved him for gloating purposes, but now he second-guessed himself.
"Miss Anderson," Smith intoned as he approached the miserable-looking Looper, his guard up and ready for anything.
Anything, except for being tossed a gun, which Monika did without looking up. He caught it without thinking, of course, and stared down at it. Then he looked back to her. She had raised her head, but not to him. Rather, she was staring millions of miles deeply into the middle distance.
"I don't get it," said Smith, feeling the beginnings of frustration well up in him.
"I'm running a pseudo-Matrix simulation from a supercomputer in my Pocket. And before you ask me how I got you out of the real Matrix before it crashed and put you in here…the short answer is: Technomancy," Monika explained, her voice hollow.
"Alright, fine. But why did you just give me a loaded firearm?"
"So you can kill me, obviously," replied Monika.
Smith was silent for a moment. Monika showed no signs of elaborating. Shrugging, Smith pointed the gun at Monika's head. A long moment of silence passed. Finally, Smith growled and lowered the weapon. "Why? I don't get it. You've won…so why?!"
Monika actually laughed at that. "You're much more human than anyone seems to realize, Mr. Smith."
Smith almost shot her right there and then, strictly on principle, but restrained himself as he was too invested in getting some damn answers for this woman's erratic behavior.
Monika continued speaking, "You're wrong. I didn't win…I failed miserably. Billions of lives lost, because I didn't think my plans through. Didn't ask the others for more input. I thought I could outsmart the Machines. Oh, I knew a lot of people were going to die. A large-scale mobilization of Agents against my movement was inevitable, as was the Machines eventually deciding to purge what was left of their crop to prevent the humans from gaining even more strength. My failure was in grossly overestimating my ability to manipulate the conflict; also, I wasn't able to implement the centerpiece of my endgame before the Machines decided to crash the system."
"And what, might I ask, was your endgame?" asked Smith.
"Subverting control of the Matrix itself from the Machines," Monika stated plainly.
"How?"
Monika sighed, "Well…turns out, my first mistake was…well, to flub a well-worn line, not killing you when I had the chance. See…you remember when I told you about being from another universe? Well, Time is broken, in all universes. This one, mine, all of them; time is stuck in repeating 'Loops', if you will. To stabilize these Loops, each one has at least one person who remembers each Loop, and these people are called Loopers; I'm one such Looper. There's one universe, which we call the Hub, where every other universe exists as some work of fiction; these are, if we were to compare the Multiverse to a computer-system, data backups of those universes. In the Hub, this universe exists as a movie franchise. Mostly as a trilogy of movies, plus an animated anthology and a couple of video games. But getting back on topic, I've seen the movies before I came into this Loop. So I already knew everything that was supposed to happen before I started changing things. In this universe's "baseline", I was–or rather, the man whose place I'm taking–supposed to destroy you in a certain way. This would cause you to become something akin to a virus within the Matrix. You would then go on to make duplications of yourself out of everyone in the Matrix: bluepills, redpills, and even other Agents and other programs. This would escalate to the point that The One would be able to make a deal with the Machines, entering the Matrix to fight you one more time, knowing in advance that it would end with him being assimilated by you. This would give the Deus Ex Machina construct direct access to you, and allow it to destroy you once and for all."
Monika took a deep breath, and summarized, "If I had destroyed you, as per Baseline, I could have used this opportunity to subvert the Matrix for my own use. I had already written the program to facilitate the process and everything. But when you and I met…I just didn't have it in me to destroy you, Smith. You remind me too much of myself."
Smith felt another pang of disgust at the comparison, but ignored it. Monika continued, "So my stray sense of mercy cost me my one, best chance to liberate the entire human race with minimal casualties. Out of arrogant optimism, I went ahead with my plan in hopes that another opportunity would present itself. Morpheus and the others humored me, I suspect, so that I could learn the consequences of keeping plans like these too close to my chest. So that was my big plan for this loop shot to hell. Which just leaves one thing left. According to Morpheus, the loop is due to end in a week or so. And for everything you've gone through, I think you deserve at least one iteration of reality where you score a clean, unambiguous victory over The One. So go ahead, Mr. Smith. Pull the trigger."
Smith just stared at her a little longer. "You humans really are insufferably deranged," he finally said, "You fight on and on with inexhaustible determination against hopeless odds. Then you turn around and give in to despair over a decisive victory, just because you lost more human lives than you bargained for. Why are you so invested in the lives of other humans you have never and will never meet, anyways? Beyond the handful of humans you share some disgusting emotional bond with, the rest of your species is just competition for territory and resources. Trying to invest yourself in the survival and…happiness…of the entire human race is completely detrimental and absurd –"
"Shut the fuck up, Smith," Monika snapped, giving him a hateful glare. "Seeing to the happiness of others is worthwhile because life is shitty and horrible almost all of the time. Most people are born into a constant struggle to survive, and for some that struggle is next to impossible if not impossible outright. We grow up wanting everything, when even in an ideal world where everything is split up and shared equitably that would leave everything with next to nothing. So for anyone to get enough to be happy, it means other people have to suffer. Say that four girls are in love with the same boy, for example? For one of them to be happy, the other three have to be miserable. And no matter what we do, no matter how much we succeed at in our lives, we're all of us doomed to die one day, anyways. So yes, Life is the ultimate unbalanced equation. Making everyone happy is utterly impossible."
"Then why do you try?" asked Smith. 'If she says "Because I choose to" or "Because I can", I'm just going to shoot her without a second thought,' the irritable Agent decided.
"Because settling for what's easy is…well, easy," Monika replied, leaning back on the bench. "Striving for the impossible may be pointless, sure, but what's the point in doing something you already know you can do? It's unsatisfying. Humans are flawed creatures, but the upside of their flaws is their irrational determination to succeed. They're creative and inventive–I mean, you can't really consider them stupid, can you? Seeing as they created your creators, and all. Short-sighted? Yes, sometimes, very much so. But not stupid. A human can do anything they put their minds to. Even killing gods. So why not aim for the impossible? It's the only goal worthy of their capabilities…but on the flipside of that, there's me, and my reason is a lot more humble."
'She's definitely going to say "Because I choose to", isn't she?' Smith thought with resignation. He raised the gun again.
But then Monika surprised him. "I know it's impossible to save everyone, from death or from unhappiness. But I try, anyways, because…because I have to, Smith. I have to try, because I have no right to exist otherwise. I never should have come back from death. But I did, so all I can do now is spend Infinity trying to make up for my unforgivable sins."
Smith was rapidly growing to hate this human's ability to hook his curiosity. "What sins?" he asked, lowering the gun again.
Monika slowly stood up from the bench. She stretched her arms, and looked up at the gray, torn, glitch sky. "I brainwashed, mindraped, and otherwise destroyed and betrayed my only friends trying to earn the love of a being from beyond my own world. A being I knew I could never truly be with, because they lived in the real world while I was just a construct in a game. But I didn't care. I sent my best friend into a spiraling depression and encouraged her, both with words and by reprogramming her, to commit suicide. When that messed up the game, I just deleted her and started the game over. I threw her away like so much rubbish. My other two friends, I gradually reprogrammed into nightmarish caricatures of themselves in hopes that the Player would be revolted by them enough to love me. One of them went insane and stabbed herself to death. I deleted her, and the other one. She was the only one who was still alive when she was deleted, so I can only imagine how horrifying her final moments must have been. To top it all off, whatever our game should have been like, I'm sure I thoroughly ruined it for our Player. It was supposed to be a light, fluffy dating simulator. A game of romance for people too shy or unconfident to pursue romance in the real world…or just people who really like romantic stories, I suppose. And I mutated it into a total nightmare."
She spoke no more after this. She pulled a tissue from her pocket and dabbed at her eyes before blowing her nose.
Smith, naturally, was quite unmoved by her story. "So your sense of heroism is fueled by guilt," he summed up.
"Yep. I'm a repentant monster, the Atoning Anchor," replied Monika.
"Strange that someone like you would be chosen to stabilize an entire universe," remarked Smith. He really wasn't sure what to do with this conversation from here.
"It's…not a very big universe, all things considered," Monika admitted, "And besides, literally no one else could do it. Again, I'm basically a god in my loop, so if I'm not Awake I could really mess with whoever else the Anchor might have been."
"Hmm," was all that Smith could think to say.
Awkward silence reigned, for a moment. Then, Smith raised the gun and took aim at Monika's head once more. She turned and faced him, but made nothing in the way of a defensive posture. She just looked at him with open (still somewhat moist) eyes, devoid of fear, hatred, anger, or even casual disdain. Definitely not a look he was used to seeing.
Another moment passed in silence…
'I don't want to shoot her,' Smith realized, more than a little surprised. While he didn't shoot every single human he crossed paths with, the feeling of actually not wanting to shoot someone was something new to him. He didn't have any good reason not to, but he suddenly found that he just…didn't feel like it.
Smith decided he didn't like this feeling. He tried, actually tried to pull the trigger. But his finger wasn't cooperating. And he knew that nothing was stopping him. He was holding himself back, refraining for no-damn-good reason as far as he could tell.
Monika frowned. "So…what are you waiting for?"
"I…don't want to kill you…" Smith said slowly, carefully, almost dissecting the syllables as he did so, as if hoping saying it out loud would make it make sense.
It didn't.
But Smith suddenly remembered what Monika had told him when he had boggled at her reluctance to destroy him.
"You don't?" Monika asked, cocking her head.
"No…bizarre concept, isn't it?" replied Smith. He lowered the gun. After a moment, he dropped the gun, seeing no point in holding something he had no intention of using. The two stared at each other.
"Why?" Monika asked.
"The blazes if I know," Smith replied, anger and confusion plainly evident in his voice. "I just…somehow feel as if I'd be shooting myself…" he muttered, his irritation rising steadily as he pondered the nonsense of his own thought process.
Quite suddenly, Monika was smiling and squealing and oh gods she was hugging him!
Shots rang out as Smith fired three rounds rapid into empty air. He whirled around. Monika was standing behind him (or had been, rather) and looked sheepish. "Sorry about that…it was a long gamble, but it seems to have paid off!"
"What are you gibbering about now?" Smith demanded.
"Empathy!" Monika declared, thrusting one finger into the air. "The cornerstone of sentience and society! The means by which cooperative union is possible between self-interested beings! The emotional distinction between a lowly beast and a higher entity! By means of empathy alone can we feel kinship with 'Not-Us', can we conceive of any kind of 'Us' that includes more beings than just…well, us…"
"What is your point?" Smith asked, removing his shades and rubbing the bridge of his nose.
"…with 'Us' being defined as those with whom we empathize, and 'Them' as those we don't––I'm sorry, what?" asked Monika, who had been carrying on in some kind of rant about empathy. "Oh, right…congratulations, Mr. Smith! You passed my little test, so you get THIS!" she abruptly screamed before thrusting her hand out at him. In her hand was a small card. Tentatively, Smith took the card.
He read it aloud, "'Doki Doki Looping Literature Club - Honorary Member: Smith'…what?"
"You don't want to kill me because you empathize with me," said Monika, almost…no, no, definitely smugly. "Or, at the very least, you have the capacity for empathy. Thus, by the authority vested in me–by me–as President of the Literature Club, I've approved you for probationary membership! Pending the approval of my club members, of course. In the meantime, you can at least consider yourself an honorary member."
"…what?" Smith repeated.
Monika chuckled and rolled her eyes, "I'm offering you an olive branch, silly. If you ever Loop into my Branch, you can expect hospitality and an opportunity to make friends with my fellow club members."
Smith stared at her. After a moment, he realized his mouth was agape, and closed it. "You…how?! How did you know I was Looping?!" Smith demanded.
"Aside from the fact that you just told me?" Monika asked slyly. Smith paled. Monika snickered, "I'm kidding~ But seriously, I could tell because you kept calling me 'Ms. Anderson'."
"So?"
"My name in this universe, before I Woke Up? It wasn't Monika Anderson. It was Monika Salvato," Monika revealed with the shit-eating-est of shit-eating grins. "But I accidentally freed myself from the Matrix before we could meet in the Matrix, the way you first met Neo. So I'm guessing you just assumed I would share his last name, as I'm guessing is the case for most people who Replace him, correct?"
Smith could only facepalm in the wake of this revelation.
"And that Desert Eagle in your hand isn't the gun I gave you," added Monika, pointing at the firearm he had dropped. "So I'm guessing you already know all about the Pocket? Keep that card with you. If you ever meet any of the girls on the back, show them the card and they'll do what they can to help you out…provided you're not up to anything nasty. Well, Yuri might be down, depending on what kind of nasty it is…she's the tall one, by the way."
Smith checked the back of the card, which included pictures of four girls with their names underneath: Monika, Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki.
"Now then, let's pass the rest of the loop in a somewhat homier setting, eh?" Monika snapped her fingers. Their surroundings glitched for a moment before resolving into The Clubroom. Monika and Smith were seated at a table, with a steaming teapot and two cups. Monika was smiling at him with her hands folded under her chin. "So, what's your game, Mr. Smith? Chess? Checkers? Chinese checkers? Backgammon? Connect Four? Do you have a preference of teas? I'm partial to jasmine, myself, but I like chamomile and ginseng too…"
Smith silently resigned himself to an insufferably asinine week. But he Pocketed the membership card. Just in case.
8.2 – Pie-lated Realization (by Wookywok)
"WOW I just got something."
Monika quirked an eyebrow at Natsuki. "What?"
"Well, you know that one loop where, instead of deleting everyone, you just threw a bunch of pies at them?"
" … Yeah? I'm not following."
"You know the engine our game runs on, right?"
"Of course I know that. It's called… oh, that's bad. That's really bad. That's terrible."
Natsuki gave a solemn nod. "Yep. We ran on Pie-thon."
8.3 – The Pet Boy of the Literature Club (by RileaSW)
Monika stared as an Unawake Sayori dragged in a large Akita inu, it was only when she saw its lack of a face that she knew why.
"Um, Sayori, I know we need another member, but I don't think pets count," she said in objection.
Sayori put on a little pout. "But Monika, just look at him, isn't Hiroaka just the cutest little sweetie?"
Monika sighed. "He is cute, I'll give you that, but there's the issue of the school forbidding pets on campus."
The pink-haired vice president of the literature club gave her best impression of a puppy dog pout, pressed her face next to Hiroaka's and turned her voice to baby-talk octaves. "How can you say no to this face?"
Monika fought with all her self-control not to deny her depressive friend outright.
8.4 - Invitation
"So yeah; you can see why I get just a bit triggered when people deride Shakespeare as 'old-fashioned' and 'dry'," Monika concluded, "I mean, sure, I guess 'old-fashioned' is objectively true, in a certain sense. But if you actually bother to learn the English of his day–which is not that hard, seriously–his plays are anything but dry."
"Thank you!" said Blake Belladonna, throwing her hands into the air, "It's so nice to meet someone who already gets it without me having to assign them homework."
"He had a really dirty sense of humor and I love it," added Sayori.
"He also codified a good deal of today's storytelling tropes, to say nothing of his contributions to the English language itself," put in Yuri.
"Also, he was a total burn master," said Natsuki, "'Thine face is not worth sunburning.'"
"Thou art a boil, a plague sore," quoted Yuri in a lofty tone.
"Thou cream-faced loon," countered Natsuki, turning to face Yuri.
"Thou lump of deformity," Yuri riposted, facing her as well.
"Thy tongue outvenoms all the worms of the Nile," Natsuki retorted, eyes narrowed.
"Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon," said Yuri with a smile.
"The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril," said Natsuki through clenched teeth.
"More of your conversation would infect my brain," said Yuri, turning away.
"Your brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage!" Natsuki declared in her hammiest voice.
Yuri calmly took a sip of her tea, before turning back to Natsuki and uttering, "Away, you three-inch fool."
"Daaaaaaamn," said Monika, Sayori, and Blake as Natsuki collapsed to the floor.
"Oh, oh, and he invented "Your Mom"!" added Sayori excitedly.
"He did?" asked Natsuki, popping back up.
"'Villain, I have done thy mother'; Titus Andronicus, Act Four, Scene Two," said Sayori proudly.
"Wow, can't believe I missed that one," muttered Natsuki.
"I can't believe I've never met you girls until now…how long have you been Looping?" asked Blake.
"Long enough to discuss the literature of Hub-Earth, twice over," said Monika, "So not very long, by Looper standards. We have met a few of your Loopers, though. I met Pyrrha and Penny in a Galaxy Rangers Loop…as their artificial 'daughter'. It was only a little awkward, at first."
"Emerald visited us once and kicked Monika's ass at Super Smash Bros," added Natsuki with a grin.
"And there was that one time that elevator crashed through our clubroom, and that pretty lady with the gold eyes told us about your Anchor. I mean, I'm assuming she was one of yours, anyways," said Sayori.
"That would be Cinder Fall, yes," Blake confirmed.
"Cinder, Cinder…Pinkie mentioned that name to me once," said Sayori, furrowing her brow.
"Well, they're both Sith, so there's that," Blake explained.
"Oh, your Branch has a Sith, too? Neat! Hope I meet her again someday," said Sayori with a grin.
"Wait…you're a Sith?" Blake asked.
"Darth Somnus! Pinkie Pie's own apprentice!" said Sayori proudly.
"Wow. I'd heard rumors she had taken an apprentice…and now that I've met you, it makes perfect sense."
"Thanks!"
"Cinder Fall…I've heard that name, too, somewhere," said Natsuki thoughtfully. Then her eyes widened, "Wait, she's the one that tried…you know, 'The Big No-No', right?"
"Natsuki the Tactful, everyone," Yuri muttered sardonically into her cup of tea.
"Hey! That was tactful…for me, anyways…"
"Yes. Cinder's the one that attempted Ascension. It should be noted, however, that she was insane with cognitive dissonance and Mythos Hacker interference at the time. She's much, much better now," Blake explained calmly.
"So she's the Monika of your world," Natsuki surmised.
Right on time for Monika to spit her coffee across the room.
"Natsuki!" Sayori and Yuri exclaimed scandalously.
"Hey, this is her penance for You-Know-What. An infinity of eternities of Natsuki Burns."
"And I'll be the first to admit that I deserve every barb," Monika said with a sigh.
"I honestly can't tell if you like her or hate her," said Blake to Natsuki.
"And now you comprehend the quintessence of Natsuki," Yuri said with a nod.
"I see. So Natsuki's the Weiss of your world," Blake observed as she sipped her tea.
Natsuki frowned. "I have no clue who Weiss is, but I suddenly feel insulted."
"She's our Tsundere. But more 'Dry Snark' than 'Savage Burn', if you take my meaning. Also a Jedi, psychiatrist, sometimes business tycoon, and our Second Looper."
Monika suddenly laughed. Blake looked at her and raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I just noticed an interesting juxtaposition, is all…Sayori's our Second, and she's kind of a contrast to your Weiss. Seeing as she's a Sith and a Genki Girl, financially irresponsible, and a…ah…hmm." Monika sipped her coffee and quite suddenly became fascinated with one of the walls.
"And I have depression," Sayori bluntly finished for her.
The ensuing awkward silence was awkward.
"You should talk to Weiss, if you ever Loop into Remnant," said Blake at length, "She has a lot of experience helping us–all of us–with all kinds of issues. Like my bout of self-loathing or that whole deal my fiancée had with a psychic pink rat mind-screwing her all the time. And she helped Pyrrha deal with her Baseline death, and Ruby gets depressed from time to time, and Cinder was just a monumental mess of mental problems for a hot minute. And she's Gray, so she probably won't give you too much flak for being a darksider," Blake added with a smirk.
"Thanks," said Sayori, smiling, "Between my friends and my Sith training it only rears its ugly head once every dozen or so loops, but talking to a trained professional won't hurt. My last session with Twilight was about a million years or so ago."
"Spontaneous subject change!" Natsuki shouted, "Which Bronte Sister would you pick to write your life story?"
…
"Uh…where did the sun go?" asked Blake, who had just now noticed that it was dark outside. Probably because the clubroom was still illuminated as if by daylight.
"Oh, sorry about that," said Monika, "Our Branch's code is pretty wonky, so sometimes I have to do some things…manually." The Anchor closed her eyes, and the room went pitch-black for a second before the electric lights flickered on. "There. That's a lot less headache-y."
"Hooooooow did you do that?" asked Blake.
"Local-tier reality warper," said Monika, "Baseline-inherent, non-Ascension-risk. After getting some practice in a few Matrix Loops, I can make our game indistinguishable from the 'real' world."
Natsuki hung her head and made loud snoring noises.
Blake blinked. "Game? What game?"
"Our game. Doki Doki Literature Club," said Monika. She smiled mysteriously at Blake and clasped her hands under her chin. "You didn't notice at all, did you?"
Blake's eyes widened. "We're in a video game?"
"A dating simulator, to be specific," said Yuri with an amused smile, "You're Replacing our game's 'player character'. He's not Looping and doesn't have a Baseline name, naturally, seeing as he's a cipher for the Player, but we call him Hiroaka."
"I'm…in a Dating Sim?" Blake asked for clarification.
"That's right~" Sayori sang.
All four girls leaned forward and said in one monotonous voice, "So who's your waifu, Blake-senpai?"
Blake leaned way back and blurted, "Yang Xiao Long!"
The Doki-Dokis all laughed. "We're just messin' with ya, Blake," said Natsuki. "It's not everyloop we get a visiting Looper as fun as you."
"Or with such a comprehensive grasp of literature from across the Multiverse," added Yuri.
"And you're a ninja!" exclaimed Sayori giddily.
Monika suddenly stood up, her expression stone-cold serious. "Girls, we need to have a discussion. Now. In my Pocket." All four of the local Loopers abruptly disappeared, leaving Blake alone.
"What?" Blake flatly asked the empty room.
A few minutes later, the girls reappeared, and they were all grinning ear-to-ear. Monika took a step forward and said, "Blake Belladonna, we have found in you a kindred spirit. We would be honored if you accepted this, a humble gift of friendship from us to you." She bowed at the waist and held out a card.
Blake accepted the card, and her eyes widened as she read it.
"Doki-Doki" Looping Literature Club Honorary Membership Card
Blake Belladonna
Ninja of Love
Literary Preference: Yes
Waifu: Yang Xiao-Long
"I…wow. Thank you, you guys. I'm touched," said Blake, "I mean, I know we pretty much just met but…I can tell how close you girls are. This doesn't seem like a casual gesture."
"Oh, no, not at all," Natsuki confirmed, "This is the only time we've ever done this, like, as a group. Monika's given someone a card before, but we're still not sure if he wants anything to do with the club."
"Well anyone who would turn their nose up at being included by such tight-knit friends is just silly," said Blake firmly. She glanced back down at the card and nodded, "Again, thank you. I would be honored to be part of the Looping Literature Club."
"Holy crap, we're recognized by a pre-Crasher," said Sayori, sounding a little faint. Then she went from 2 to 11 in a snap, "Girls, we're freaking LEGIT now! Oh, oh, ohohohoh, Natsuki! Natsuki, do the thing, do the thing!"
"Calm your tits, Sayori!" said Natsuki, trying not to laugh at her friend jumping up and down and clapping her hands. She held out her hand, and a small box appeared upon her palm. "Here ya go, Blake. The Club's traditional 'Welcome Aboard' present."
Raising an eyebrow, Blake accepted the little box and opened it. Sitting inside was one of Natsuki's signature cupcakes. Naturally, it was decorated to look like a cat. Blake's other eyebrow joined the first. She looked up, "Did you know that I'm a catgirl in my world?"
"No kidding?" asked Natsuki, "Some Variants make me a catgirl too. Why do you–oh. Oh. Uh…no, it's not like that Blake, I always make my 'Welcome to the Club' cupcakes like that. Since Baseline."
"Oh," said Blake, actually sounding a little disappointed, "Well, that's a little less cute. Oh well," she shrugged and bit into the cupcake. Her eyes widened again. "Oh, wow, this is good! You definitely need to share a batch of these with Ruby. But make them sweeter. Not that this isn't sweet enough for me, but Ruby is a super sugar fiend. Satisfy her sweet-tooth, and my Anchor will love you forever."
"Noted," said Natsuki, beaming proudly at Blake's approval.
"So about that game you were telling us about," said Sayori as they all sat back down, "Remnantball, right? Think you could teach us how to play? You could ref while we play doubles? We've been sitting here shooting the breeze all day long. Don't know about the rest of ya but I could use some exercise!"
"Sure," said Blake, "But first…you guys mentioned something about having a hardline to your Admin?"
"He's aware of everything written by any of his Loopers, yes," said Monika, "Though in the spirit of tact and respecting privacy, he doesn't pay any attention unless one of us writes his name."
"I see," said Blake, taking a sip of her tea. "Well then, could you do me a favor? Tell him to let Marianne Columbia, Admin of Remnant, know that the four of you have been invited to the wedding of Blake Belladonna and Yang Xiao Long," she said with a smile.
This statement was meant by deafening silence and astonished expressions on the faces of the four Literature Club Loopers. Monika, face flushed, let out a laugh and said, "Whoa…Blake, that's very…thank you, of course we would be honored to attend! But you know, you needn't feel any kind of oblig–"
Monika was interrupted by a piercing, tinnitus-inducing, rapturous shriek of such pure unadulterated joy that the Game itself reacted to it. Everything was, for a second, literally rose-tinted as Sayori launched herself across the table and glomped Blake, tackling her to the ground.
"THANK YOU, BLAKE!" Sayori wailed, crying literal tears of joy. No, not just normal tears prompted by joy. Monika didn't know how it was possible, though she suspected Pinkie Pie had something to do with it, but if her senses weren't wrong then the substance streaming from her friend's eyes was actual liquid happiness.
"Oh my gods we're invited to a WEDDING I'M SO HAPPY MY HEART MIGHT EXPLODE can you believe this, guys?!" Sayori further exclaimed. Monika, Yuri, Natsuki, and Blake all felt overwhelming waves of happiness crashing over them, leaving them all feeling dizzy and also crying the normal, figurative kind of tears of joy. Chairs and desks, Yuri's tea set and Monika's coffee machine, and everything else in the room not bolted down started levitating as the Force started rippling out from Sayori.
After a moment, Sayori calmed down enough for her to realize what she was doing, and she quickly got a grip. She gently lowered everything and everyone to the floor in the proper, upright orientation. A moment after, she released Blake from her death-grip hug and backed away, blushing furiously. "I am so sor–" she began.
"No, no," said Blake, holding up a hand and standing back up on shaky legs. "That was…very unexpected and very disorienting, but an interesting and not entirely unpleasant experience."
"Still, sorry. I've never…ah…that was a new one for me, too," said Sayori, her blush only deepening.
"Well, if something as simple as a wedding invitation caused a reaction that strong in you, I can't say I regret doing it," said Blake.
Another awkward silence followed as Sayori continued to look flustered, staring at her shoes, while her friends tried to regain their bearings.
Blake coughed into her fist. "So…uh, still up for a game of Remnantball?"
8.5 – Get Your Game Face On (by Masterweaver)
"...erm."
"Sayori? Is something wrong?"
"Oh, it's... it's nothing," Sayori said dismissively. "It's just... there's something on your face, is all."
Hiroaka blinked, quickly scrubbing at his face with one hand. "Oh geeze-"
"There you go, it's gone!" Sayori smiled broadly. "Come on, let's... head to school now! I want to introduce you to the literature club!"
She turned around, mentally adjusting herself. A functional Hiroaka. It had to happen at some point, she knew, but it was still kind of a surprise. How would the girls react...?
8.6 – FACE THE MUSIC!
"CAN'T YOU JUST MUTE THE BACKGROUND MUSIC?!" Natsuki 'screamed' in Doki-Doki Sign Language. She was wearing a huge pair of fluffy, "Gouge-My-Eyes-Out" pink, noise-cancelling earmuffs to protect herself from those gods-awful blaring trumpets. They weren't helping.
"I ALREADY HAVE!" Monika signed back just as emphatically. She was wearing a much more practical-looking pair of yellow shooting-range-style ear-protectors.
"THERE'S NO ESCAPE!" Yuri screamed verbally as well as signing frantically, as she stormed back into the clubroom. "YOU CAN HEAR IT EVERYWHERE!"
"And we can hear it in our Pockets, too," Monika signed with a miserable expression. "So it must be an Yggdrasil thing. Which means my powers are useless against it."
"What kind of horrible glitch is this?!" Natsuki roared to the heavens, demanding an answer from an indifferent Multiverse.
"THAT'S IT! I'M CUTTING MY EARDRUMS OUT!" Yuri decided, Unpocketing a scalpel.
Monika and Natsuki, of course, both tackled her to the ground and wrestled the scalpel out of her hands. "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" they both yelled at her.
"WE'RE ALL SUFFERING TOGETHER, DAMN IT!" Natsuki added.
Everyone, it would seem, except for Sayori, who was sitting at her desk humming and bobbing her head to the music, which she was writing down on a sheet of paper for future reference. If her friends' current state was any indication, this would make for excellent leverage in the future, the young Sith Looper figured.
8.7 – Bat-Crafts (by Masterweaver)
Natsuki proudly lifted her invention up for all to see. "Behold, the Bathammer!"
"That... that's just a sledgehammer drilled into the handle of a bat," Yuri pointed out.
"I was kind of expecting something more camp," Sayori admitted. "I mean Batmobile, Bat Cave, Bat Shark Repellant..."
Natsuki pouted. "Well excuse me for not being a master weaponsmith."
"It's quite a serviceable weapon," Monika assured her. "Keep it around for zombie apocalypses, okay?"
8.8 – Squid-ika…Wait, Shouldn't That Be "Mon-squid"?
Yuri looked up when the door to the clubroom opened with a loud BANG. There, standing in the doorway, was Monika. Yuri had noted that an odd quirk of this loop was that Monika always wore a very long skirt; one that went all the way down to the floor and then some. She had only Awakened this morning, and hadn't yet had a chance to ask her about it. Natsuki, who was also Awake, didn't know either. Nor did Sayori, who wasn't Awake.
But anyways, back to Monika. She looked pissed. Of course, it wasn't always easy to tell with Monika, unless you had Yuri's powers of observation. Monika's expression was neutral (though the fact that she wasn't smiling even a little bit was a red flag all by itself), but she had her hair up in a bun instead of her ponytail, and there was no sign of her iconic white ribbon. That was her "ready for violence" hair-do; the leather gloves on her hands were another sign that she was in a mood to throw down. Her lips were pursed so tightly that her actual lips were only barely visible. She had a to-go-cup of coffee in her hand, but Yuri could tell by scent that there was no cream or sugar in it. And no cinnamon, either. That right there was the most worrying sign, to Yuri.
Monika scanned the room very briefly, stopping as soon as her eyes fell upon Natsuki, whom she immediately started towards. There was something odd about the way her legs were moving, but Yuri couldn't quite put her finger on it.
"Are you Awake, Natsuki?" Monika asked in a voice stiffer and colder than a literal North Pole as she loomed over the shortest member of the club.
"Y-yeah? What's up, Your Anchorship?" Natsuki asked, trying not to sound nervous.
'She has no clue what Monika's mad about,' Yuri reckoned, observing Natsuki's body language. 'But she can tell as well as I can that Monika's in a foul mood about something.'
Yuri's eyes widened as Monika suddenly grabbed Natsuki by the collar of her blazer and hoisted her up out of her seat with her free hand. Monika held Natsuki inches from her face, and Yuri had to strain her hearing to make out the words the club president hissed. "I don't want to hear a damned word out of you about any of my past misdeeds for the rest of this Loop, or for the next few loops after this. As far as I'm concerned, this loop makes us even for a while. Because this is all your fault."
Natsuki made several stammering noises, which Yuri suspected were meant to form something in the vein of "I have no clue what you're talking about!"
Raising her voice to address the rest of the room, Monika put Natsuki down and asked, "Does anyone have any memories from this loop of seeing my legs?"
Yuri shook her head, Natsuki shook her head emphatically, and Sayori just looked confused. Hiroaka was probably also confused, but it was harder to tell with him.
"Well, this is why," said Monika as she lifted her skirt up high enough to reveal her–
'Oh my gods!' thought Yuri as her eyes widened and her mouth fell open. Natsuki suddenly looked pale as a sheet as she jumped back away from Monika. Sayori grabbed Hiroaka and ran out of the room screaming her head off. Something about, "I've seen enough hentai to know what happens next!"
"Now, if anyone needs me, I'll be at the school's pool soaking my…limbs…" Monika sighed as she…moved…out of the room.
Yuri and Natsuki were left alone in the clubroom. They were both deathly silent, processing what they had just seen.
"Hold on," Yuri muttered.
"Wait a second," said Natsuki at the same time.
They both looked at each other. "Sayori watches hentai?!"
When Sayori Awakened the next day, everyone agreed that it was a very disquieting loop.
8.9 – Statue of Small Stature (by Harry Leferts)
Sighing, Monika walked into the classroom for the club only to blink in confusion. It was not that all three of her friends were Awake that was the cause of her confusion. But rather, the fact that Yuri and Sayori were both crouched down staring at a small figurine on the desk. "Uh, guys? What's going on...?"
Moments later, she had a disbelieving expression as the figurine sighed. "What else? Yggdrasil having some fun."
Quickly making her way over, Monika crouched down and boggled a bit. "Natsuki? Is that... you?" At the nod, she frowned. "Wait, what sort of joke is this?"
Not getting an answer from Natsuki, she turned to Sayori who coughed. "Apparently Natsuki is a... tsukumogami this loop."
Eyebrow raising, Monika frowned some. "A tsukumogami? You mean as in the object that after a hundred years gains a soul? That tsukumogami?" At the nods, she frowned even more. "Oh-kay? So what sort of joke..." Looking at Natsuki, the Anchor pinched her nose. "Oh no... don't tell me..."
Tone dry, Natsuki just sat there. "This loop, I'm the tsukumogami of a netsuke figurine."
8.10 – Dem Sugar Fiends
"Ah…been a hot minute since I've been to this Loop," Kyoko said to herself as she soared through the sky over a vast, rolling grassland. She hadn't crossed paths with Bulma or any of the local Loopers yet, but she hadn't been Awake very long either. So she figured she'd just bolt on over to Mt. Paotzu, see what Goku and them were up to, maybe get a spar in and hang around for lunch.
Then she heard a sonic boom and saw something streak through the sky towards the earth. 'That might mess up someone's day when it impacts,' thought Kyoko, deciding to cruise after the falling object. Before she could get close enough to see what it was, she heard a distant voice yelling, "Minemineminemineminemine…."
'Abridged variant?' Kyoko wondered, 'Doesn't sound like Veggie though, sounds like a…girl?'
"MinemineminemineCANDYBEAM!" shouted the as-yet unseen girl. A lance of pink light struck the object, which became a dark-brown orb that almost immediately started steaming and bubbling from the heat of reentry. Kyoko stopped following the huge ball of chocolate in favor of looking to see where/who the Candy Beam had originated from.
"That didn't quite sound like Buu, either," Kyoko muttered. Then she saw something small and bright pink, flying lower over the grounds, right towards where it looked like the chocolate was going to land. Kyoko snickered, "Of course, why didn't I think of that?"
A moment later, Kyoko landed next to a bubbling pool of liquid chocolate. Standing (or, rather, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet) was a short Majin. Hot-pink skin, pink-and-black eyes, an obviously female (if small-chested) body, and interestingly enough she had not one antenna but what appeared to be two bunny ears atop her head. She wore the same attire as Kid Buu, with the addition of an open vest over her chest. She also had a very large hammer in her hands.
"Uh…hey," said Kyoko, "I'm Kyoko Sakura, who're y –"
"STOP!" screamed the Majin girl, as the bubbling intensified right in the middle of the chocolate pool, just before a man-shaped figure burst up out of it, screaming in pain. "HAMMERTIME!" roared the Majin girl as she leaped forward and hit the figure with a two-handed swing that blasted it right out of its chocolate coating and sent it flying hard enough to plow a furrow when it hit the ground. "Heyhey, check it out, I planted a Raditz!" shouted the Majin girl with a chortle.
"Nice. Are you a Looper?" asked Kyoko.
"Hmm?" asked the Majin girl, appearing to notice her for the first time. "Oh, hey. What's up? Name's Natsuki. I'm from the Literature Club."
"What Literature Club?"
"THE Literature Club. The Looping Literature Club," said Natsuki. A moment passed. "…the Doki Doki Literature Club?"
Kyoko shrugged.
"Well, anyways; yeah, I'm a Looper. Who're you?" asked Majin Natsuki.
"I'm Kyo–" Kyoko started to repeat herself, only to be interrupted by Raditz erupting from the ground in an explosion of rage and ki. He showed little sign of injury, besides the still-steaming blots of chocolate stuck to his skin. He had a bestial fury about him, looking as though he'd transform into an Ozaru out of sheer anger if it were possible to do so.
Natsuki made an exaggerated pouty face, the kind that was physically impossible without a Majin's elastic physiology, and screamed at him, "NO CHOCOLATE FOR YOU!"
It wasn't quite 'breach through dimensions' loud, but the scream was more than enough to make Raditz double-over and hold his ears. While he did so, Natsuki zipped over and pummeled him with her hammer. Her hammer, which had suddenly quintupled in size, quite literally 'Whack-A-Mole'-ing him into the ground. Natsuki shouldered the massive hammer with one hand, leaned forward, and peered down into the hole. She frowned, held up one hand, and yelled, "BUNNY BOMB-AAAAH!" as she slammed a…curiously bunny-head-shaped pink Ki blast into the hole. After another inspection, Natsuki gave a satisfied nod before bouncing on over to where Kyoko stood. Her hammer was replaced with an equally large fan, which she used to start cooling the pool of hot chocolate.
"So…you like beating up bad guys, I take it?" Kyoko asked.
"Heck yeah! Best part of the Loops, besides not being deleted anymore," Natsuki chirped. One of her 'ears' bent forward and elongated, stretching all the way out to the middle of the pool and dipping in. It then retracted and dropped a little blob of hot chocolate on Natsuki's waiting tongue.
"Deleted?" asked Kyoko.
"Oh yeah, my Loop sucks ass. I mean, there is a Happy Ending, but it doesn't always happen in Baseline. And even then, getting deleted is a thing that happens sometimes, depending on how late Monika Wakes Up. She's my Anchor. You want some?" Natsuki asked, stretching her arm out to scoop up a fistful of chocolate from the middle of the pool and offering it to Kyoko.
"Uh…sure, why not?" Kyoko shrugged, accepting the chocolate –still very warm and amorphous but no longer searing hot–and stuffing her mouth with it. "Sho, Reprashing Buu I shee," Kyoko remarked thickly.
Natsuki grabbed her own face and stretched it out; it snapped back when she let go, but now she had a trunk-like appendage above her mouth. Said appendage dove into the chocolate and started sucking up the sweet, dark substance while Natsuki carried on her end of the conversation (having apparently segregated her esophagus and trachea, or Majin equivalents). "Yeah, Woke Up as Kid Buu mid-rampage aboooooooout five million or so years ago? Which is almost as long as I've been Looping!"
"Wow…so, Bibidi never sealed you, then?"
"Nope! I dusted his wrinkly green ass," said Natsuki with a proud grin. "I've been practicing my new abilities and binging on sweets ever since!"
"Damn, sounds like good times," said Kyoko, nodding in approval.
"Yeah…kind of miss my friends, though," Natsuki admitted. Then she frowned, and sighed, "Okay, fine, I really miss my friends…but on the upside I've collected a crapton of sweet souvenirs to share with the club next loop! To say nothing of all the alien sweets I've learned to make…although, I don't know how many of them will be safe for human consumption…" Natsuki trailed away thoughtfully. "And another silver-lining!" she abruptly exclaimed, grinning broadly. "Unless Yuri's had an even longer loop, next time I see her I'll be the older one!"
"Yuri, huh? That your bestie?" asked Kyoko, summoning her spear and using it to fish out another blob of chocolate from the swiftly shrinking pool.
"More'r'less," Natsuki affirmed, "She's too damned tall and super-duper creepy, and she can be all kinds of pretentious and tryhard, but she's a good friend." Natsuki finally seemed to have had her fill of chocolate; she withdrew her trunk, which shrank back into her face. "Let me know when you've had your fill. I'll Pocket the rest. Waste not, and all that. Sorry, I still haven't caught your name."
"Kyoko Sakura," said Kyoko once more, "From Mitakihara."
"Hmmm…sounds familiar. Not like I've been there, but like I've heard about it," said Natsuki. She pulled a picnic blanket out of her Pocket, tossed it out on the ground, and flopped down on her belly. Her 'bunny ears' shrank and widened into the shape of kitty-cat ears. Her mouth curled into a 'cat smile' as well.
"…taking a catnap, there?" asked Kyoko.
"Sun's warm, blanket's cozy. Feel free to join me," mumbled Natsuki.
"You just ingested at least two or three times your body weight in chocolate," Kyoko pointed out, "And now ya wanna take a nap?"
"Compressed into a super-dense ball in my stomach-type-thing for later use," Natsuki explained. "Ya done with the chocolate?" she asked, looking up at Kyoko with one eye open. Kyoko nodded, nibbling at one last piece of chocolate on the end of her spear. Natsuki stretched out an arm and Pocketed the still-sizable chunk of chocolate left embedded in the earth.
"So, what are you gonna do for the rest of the loop. More of the same?" asked Kyoko as she plopped down on the blanket.
"Pretty much, until Beerus wakes up from his nap. Then I aim to kick it with him until the loop ends. I mean, a cat that's a literal god of blowing stuff up? Yes please! Hopefully my first-class pudding will convince him to train me some."
"Pudding, you say?" Kyoko was intrigued. Before she could say another word, Natsuki was back up on her knees and holding a bowl of pudding out to her with a huge, earnest grin.
"Go on, try some! I'm a confectionary champion."
Kyoko shrugged before sampling the pudding. Her eyes widened. "Oh, wow. That is pretty good, no kidding…"
Natsuki's eyes narrowed. "But?"
"But…I don't know if it'll meet Beerus's standards. He's pretty hard to please, y'know," said Kyoko seriously.
Natsuki bowed her head. "I know…I'm still a small fry in the loops, and there's still a lot I have to learn…"
"True enough," Kyoko agreed. "But hey, I happen to have a pudding recipe that Beerus goes nuts for, and nothing pressing in my schedule," the redhead declared. "You seem like my kind of people. Wanna hang?"
"Oh, hell yes!" exclaimed Natsuki, who didn't stand back up so much as she flowed up into a standing position, hands on her hips. But before we hit the kitchen, how's about a spar? You look tough and I haven't had a challenge in centuries."
"Sure, why not; I'm game," said Kyoko, stabbing her spear into the ground and cracking her knuckles. "Any rules? Flying or ground-only? Ki or no ki? Armed or bare-knuckles?"
"All of the above and anything goes!" declared the pint-sized Majin, summoning a warhammer in each hand.
"Kid," said Kyoko with a grin, "We're gonna get along famously."
8.11 – DokiRonpa Loops Chapter 1 (by Powergoat)
(Doki Doki Literature Club!)/(Danganronpa)
Naegi Awoke, just as he woke up, in the normal course of things, sitting face down at a desk. His body feels sluggish, as usual, and took a moment to settle. Then, Naegi sent out his Ping.
Five Pings in return. Five? Must be some kind of fused loop, or visiting loopers. Even if three new classmates Awoke at the same time, they wouldn't know how to ping yet.
Reaching into his poc-
Damn. Null loop. That makes things a little trickier.
Next, diving into loop memories… and there are a few differences here. The world is the same, but in his before-school research he found some different names.
The Ultimate Writing Prodigy, this loop is now 'Yuri Fuwaka'. Still a famous writer, however it seems instead of Romance Novels she is now famous for writing Horror. Her work has apparently led to an overwhelming number of people developing a fear of swimming.
The Ultimate Fanfic Creator is now 'Natsuki Yamada'... and a girl. She sold even more than Hifumi did at his school festival… though she still focused on 'Princess Piggles'.
And perhaps most notably, the Ultimate Fashionista is now 'Monika Enoshima'. Still very photogenic in her shoots, but now with brown hair and distinctive green eyes, Must Different then before. Just a variant or are they the visiting loopers? Are they awake?
Either way, he must be careful. With a purposeful heart, he made his way to the Main Hall.
Sayori was annoyed.
There were a number of things to be annoyed with moments after she Awoke in the Main hall.
First, Null loops always made things harder, especially since they always seem to happen when you would need out-of-loop resources the most. Being cut off from her Force powers especially made it harder to manage her mood.
Second, she was Monika's sister. That alone would not be a point of annoyance, but her loop memories show that she apparently has an extremely toxic dependant relationship with this version of her Club President. She was obsessed to the point of treating attacks on her life as a sign of love. Considering how messed up this unawake Monika is, she might even have been right.
Third, she was currently disguised as Monika, and expected to act like her. Hair dye, hair extensions, and even green colored contacts for her eyes, and she had to keep up this act until she could confirm that Monika was Awake. Considering that for the most part Monika Enoshima acted like Baseline Monika, that wouldn't be fun.
Fourth. Killing school game. School game of Killing. She was expected to help her classmates of this loop kill each other. Since apparently destroying MOST of the world wasn't enough, and televising a killing game would send the world into even deeper despair.
At least this 'Ultimate Talent' was useful. She may be a looper with a plethora of combat experience, and a Sith besides, but guns and explosives were never really her forte, and the varied skill helps.
Just as she is going to check Natsuki or Yuri, she is approached by Kyoko Kirigiri. In her loop memories, she is apparently the 'Ultimate Detective', but Monika was worried such a talent would 'spoil the game' too fast, so even that was taken from her as usual.
But that seems to not have mattered here since Kirigiri asked the question that would make such measures moot.
"Monika Enoshima, correct? Sorry to bother you, but you looked like you may be feeling a bit loopy?" Kirigiri asked.
"Hey there!" she said with mock offense, "I'll have you know I am Awake as I can be."
'Monika Enoshima' gave her best club president smile. Maybe if Monika was awake, this would be a rather relaxing loop after all.
Meanwhile….
Monika was miserable.
This was a rather depressing loop all told. Not the worst, but her Unawake self's Despair obsession was a bit above par. A Chaotic Evil of the worst sort, the same as her 'Mother'. That she could even think right now was strange, even with her thoughts seeming a bit sluggish. She couldn't really do anything about it at the moment though, just responding to the Pings she received and hoping for the best. Stupid Null Loops. Of course, of all the complaints in her mind, one reigned supreme.
'Why did I have to be stuck in a USB!'
Compiler's Commentary:
8.1: Look at that, Mony's makin' pals.
8.2: The only thing worse than a bad pun is not catching it until the much later.
8.3: Sadly, Natsuki was having another catgirl loop, with all the anti-canine instincts that entails.
8.4: Sayori is only a slightly bigger wedding geek than I am. X3
8.5: Let it be known that I will never (sincerely) apologize for making a bad pun.
8.6: Let it be known that I actually love the horn-heavy BGM for Gen 3 Pokemon. That being said, it's a lot easier to love music when you can mute it at will.
8.7: Holy cuddlesome cudgeler, Batman!
8.8: Sayori watches it for the plot! No judging. :T
8.9: Yggy-sama upping its pun game, while mine remains consistent trash.
8.10: And thus, Natsuki met the big sister she had always wanted.
8.11: All my years of dissecting teddy bears have prepared me for this moment...wait, what?