A/N: So, it appears that I'm back, but hopefully with a story I'll be able to finish this time. Please cross your fingers for me, because I think this one will actually get done. It starts off slow, but please give it a chance, it will pick up. The chapters might seem kind of short, but updates will be more frequent so I hope that makes up for it. The title is from the song "On My Own" by The Used, which I have recently become obsessed with. Check it out if you want--it's worth it, in my opinion. I'll shut up now and post the first couple things I have written and hopefully get this story rolling.

Rating is, um, probably T or M for language and certain situations. Not really sure what it'll be, but I'll make the necessary adjustments later if needed.

Disclaimer: Duh.

Now, on with the story! Oh, the prologue is kind of weird, it's mostly to just help you understand how Jude's feeling at this point, etc. Don't hesitate to tell me it makes no sense at all. Please excuse any errors because I don't use a beta. I hope you like it!

xx

Prologue

In the world's eyes, she had it all.

Money. Fame. Talent. Music. Beauty.

She was the new it girl. It was just like the song from her second album.

I know how this all must look
Like a picture ripped from a story book
I've got it easy
I've got it made

I've got a golden road laid out before me
And everyone how they adore
Like a diamond
In the sun

Of course, the rest of the song was actually trying to prove the opposite point, that perfect wasn't at all what people thought.

Perfect.

How she hated that word. It was what everyone strove to achieve in their lives. Perfect job, perfect spouse, perfect car, perfect house, perfect kids, perfect life, perfect world.

But no one, in the entire history of the world, has ever figured out how to reach something that doesn't exist. And yet, even after centuries of failure, people continued to grasp at this unattainable goal.

Why?

If she knew that, then she wouldn't be in the position she was in today.

She was young, blonde, and number one on the music charts.

Life should be great for her right now. And to everyone else, it was. Only she knew what her life was really like, and she intended to keep it that way.

She'd been in the music industry for a few years now and had quickly discovered the most common characteristic that industry people possessed: they were all damn good actors and actresses.

To make it, you pretty much had to be. The first year after winning Instant Star was chaos for her. She literally wore her heart on her sleeve, and it was repeatedly smashed by anyone and everyone. If you looked back during the time she had red hair, you would recall the numerous times she cried, threw tantrums, and basically acted like the naive child she was.

However, after her first tour and a bottle of Beach Blonde, she had managed to pull herself together. No more outbursts of hers were caught on camera and plastered across the cover of People. It didn't mean she didn't want to have them, she just learned to keep herself in check. When it came to fame, emotions were your number one weakness. So, to minimize the inevitable damage, she hid them. And she hid them well.

Those few years of practice had helped her get to where she was right now.

Beautiful, rich, famous...

And alone.

You see, he had made everything bearable. He was the one who helped her through everything, who taught her the best way to get on the inside. He didn't make her feel so alone.

Of course, he had his asinine moments. Many of them, actually. But they always managed to get over them. She never expected that he just wouldn't be there one day.

How naive she was for putting anything past him.

So here she was, standing with her cell phone resting in her hand. Twenty-four hours ago, she had skipped her release party, gotten smashed, then had a stranger take pictures of her while she was laying drunk on a bed in Mason's hotel room. Oh, yeah, she may have been wasted off her ass, but she still remembered that those flashes could only come from one thing, something she was accustomed to by now. The morning after that, she learned that she finally had hit number one on the charts.

And it felt damn good.

But only for a minute.

Because then reality came crashing back down.

That morning she also learned of the tour she would soon be leaving on. It wasn't huge, but it was bigger than her last one. At least she wasn't an opening act for someone else. There was no offer from Shay this time, thank goodness.

She slowly began dialing the way too familiar numbers.

With one left, she paused, her finger hovering over the key of the last digit that would connect her to his phone.

One deep breath later, and there was ringing in her ear as she waited.

For what, she wasn't really sure.

Ring. Ring. Ring.

Click.

Voicemail.

Last night, she had been so tempted to call and leave him about 300 messages conveying her complete and utter anger and hatred towards him. She supposed it was a good thing she was too plastered to hit the right numbers, let alone think of using speed-dial or scrolling through her contacts list to get his number.

As his recorded voice played in her ear, she thought about what she should do.

"Hey, it's Tommy. Leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can."

Hang up? Call again later? Leave a message?

As the tone sounded, indicating that it was recording, she decided what she would do.

"Hey, Tommy, it's me." Pause. "You have no idea how badly I want to scream at you right now, but I know it won't do any good. So, I'll try and make this quick. Do you remember the night we recorded the bootleg at my place, and after it was all done, we talked out on the balcony? Well, I'm just trying to figure out how you're going to knock down a door that you shut and locked in the first place."

She snapped her phone shut as tears stung the back of her eyes. Quickly she squeezed them together and took a deep breath, banishing the salty droplets of hurt, anger, and pain for another time. He didn't deserve anyone's tears, especially not hers.

Shoving her phone into her back pocket, she walked back into G-Major and got on with her 'perfect' life.

If only the world realized that Jude Harrison's life was anything but perfect.


A/N: So, what do we think so far? Likey, hatey, what?