A.N.: Ok, here's the truth. At first, I intended for this fanfic to be a one-shot, even though I had written Bella's side of the story already, not to mention,an epilouge for both sides of this tale. But, then, I realized what good is writing a fanfic if you don't post it. And I didn't want to make a whole new story on the same thing -so here it is. Thank you for my reviews on Edward's side. Please, keep them coming!
And so, here is Bella's side. Please, enjoy! And Review: )
Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. Nor do I have any intention of personating her. Not only would I fail, but I would face some serious jailtime.
That said, get to reading!
Am I dreaming?
God, let me be asleep. Let me wake up bright and early in the morning. Let me wake up and see him –his angelic face, just once more. Let me wake up in his arms. Safe in his arms. Let me see him. Let me see my vampire. Let me see my Edward!
Did he really leave me? Did you really leave me, Edward?
I never imagined it would end this way.
Somehow, even besides your stubborn persistence, I always thought you would change me. That we would live together for eternity, you and I, happy forever. In eternal bliss.
But you left.
Why did you leave? You promised you would be there –you would be here. You promised to stay. You promised you would be here for as long as I needed you.
And I need you now. I need you now, Edward. I can feel myself passing with each second.
I will not make it past twilight without you.
I remember our parting as if it was yesterday.
How could I not remember? It replayed over and over in my mind, forcing all other thoughts out, leaving me with nothing else to think about but you.
It was so late, and so cold, when you said goodbye. I didn't understand then. I didn't understand for days.
You left. You left me, Edward. Did I do something wrong? Did someone find out about you? And your family? I never told anyone, Edward. I would never tell. I could never do that to you. But, were you afraid you hurt me? Or you would hurt me? You never hurt me, Edward. And you could never hurt me.
Because I know you love me.
You proved that to me so many times. And it's enough, to know you do. It is a truth I will carry with me forever. It's why I know you didn't leave willingly. You wouldn't. Not without a cause. A real reason.
But that's also what scares me.
If you were ever hurt, Edward, I don't know what I'd do. I wish I could know. Know everything. Know how to help you, why you left, and if you ever knew how much I loved you. How much I love you?
Yet, how could you truly ever know the extent of my love for you?
I've thought about this so many times. You constantly wish I would understand the depth of your love, and I do. I know how much you care about me, how much you yearn for me, and how much you love me.
But I never got to ask.
I never asked if you understood how much I needed you. How much I think about you. How much I can't live without you.
I would change for you. I would change in an instant. There is nothing for me on earth, but you. I live for you, Edward, so that you can be happy. Just as you love me, I love you.
I live for you, Edward.
It is not death to die for you. It is a pleasure; a privilege. A reassurance that we can always be together. Forever. Death being just the beginning.
But, please, come back to me, Edward.
I know it's selfish. I know. But I don't care anymore. I love you, Edward. Too much to let you go.
I can't take this pain. I'm weak, Edward. I'm weak without you.
And so I wait for you. Here is this clearing –our clearing.
Because I know it can't end like this. Not like this.
I wish I could see you. Just one last time. I can feel you coming for me. It has been so long, but somehow I know. You're coming.
I can feel it.
So, I'll wait, Edward. I'll wait for you, right here.
I'll wait forever, my love………Forever……
A.N.: Another kind of depressing chapter, it seems. Sorry, if I'm not too good at Bella. And Edward, for that matter. I usually write in 3rd person, so this is entirely new to me. Comments and criticismwould be greatlyappreciated! Thank you for reading. I'll be putting the epilouge up eventually, if you all want it.
Foxiego : )