17.1 – The Great Debate, by Masterweaver.

"Shower or bath."

It had seemed like a fun idea, at the time.

"...Come again?"

After all, Monika had been on the debate club at one point, or at least had that memory written into her code.

"Pretty sure I was clear, Sayori. Which is superior, a shower or a bath?"

So, it was reasoned, the occasional game of 'get together and have actual debates over ridiculous subjects' would be great.

"Erm. Yuri, do you really... do you really want to have this conversation?"

And it was only fair for them to alternate who got to choose the subject...

Natsuki snickered. "Actually, you know what, fun conversation. I take team bath."

"I suppose I'll be team shower then," Monika allowed reluctantly.

"I'm... honestly on the fence," Yuri admitted. "It depends on the size of the bath."

"Oh yeah, obviously," Natsuki agreed. "Sayori, you're moderating?"

"Uh..." Sayori glanced around the table. "I... sure, whatever. I don't actually care that much, either way..."

"Okay." Natsuki turned to Monika. "So, let's assume for sake of argument we are dealing with a bath at least large enough to entirely submerge yourself and at least wide enough to do a shoulder t-pose lying down."

Monika blinked. "Shoulder t-pose?"

"Like a t-pose, but you're grabbing your shoulders. So... elbows out width."

"That's three times as wide as the person in question," Monika pointed out. "Most tubs are only one and a half times as wide."

"Those are sitting tubs, designed to also be showers. A compromise that weakens both options." Natsuki shook her head. "No, if we're going to have this argument, the shower stall needs to be large enough to stuff four people in, and the tub of a good enough size to cuddle with somebody else comfortably."

Yuri cleared her throat. "I'd like to interject here and point out that while I am the self-designated pervert, I was not asking the question from the stance of sexual utilization. Or at least, not solely from that stance, as the purposes of de-stressing, waking up, and of course actually getting oneself clean are also factors in overall superiority."

"Point sustained," Sayori said. "However, Natsuki's points on minimal size are also decent. We shall proceed with this debate assuming the tub is at minimum two and a half times as wide as the user and deep enough to submerge the user, and the shower can uncomfortably contain four people of the user's size."

Monika considered for a moment, and then nodded. "Alright, I think that's fair. So... from what I understand, we're talking about the superiority of showers versus baths by the metrics of cleaning oneself physically, therapeutic utilization of water for relaxation, and as a location for sexual intercourse?"

Sayori mused for a moment. "...At the moment, yes. Would you like to make an opening statement?"

17.2 – Fever Dream, by Masterweaver.

Sayori poked her club president. "...Monika? Is something wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, no. I just had a weird dream." Monika frowned. "At least... at least I think it was a dream. I'm eighty-five percent certain it was a dream. It could have been a weird loop I woke up very late in."

"Really?"

"You know that Shadow of the Colossus game?"

"I've played it. It really resonated with me. Honestly, all the Team Ico stuff does."

"Well... picture that, but I was the main character and Hiroaka was the damsel. And you were the horse, and the mask people were all Natsuki, and instead of lizards with silver tails there were a bunch of Yuris." Monika frowned. "And I think I had to eat their hair?"

"Huh. And what about the colossi?"

"...I want to say 'mashups of various Pokémon.' I'm not... completely sure, though. It was kind of... it was a very strange dream."

Sayori nodded. "Well, I can think of two possible explanations."

"Yeah?"

"Either this is a deeply metaphorical representation of your feelings about our baseline... or you need to stop eating chocolate-covered burritos before bed."

Monika winced. "But, but, they-they're just so tasty!"

17.3 – Friction.

Once again, it was Day 3, and once again, Monika was late to the club. 'This is some real stupid-ass annoying bullshit, lemmetellya,' thought Monika.

Then she heard the explosion.

Then Sayori came bursting out of the clubroom, slamming the door shut behind her. Then she ducked just in time to avoid the Trigun omnibus that came crashing through the door's window.

"…Natsuki and Yuri?" Monika asked dourly.

"Natsuki and Yuri," Sayori sighed in reply, a large blue sweatdrop pixelizing into being on the side of her head to show how exasperated she was.

"You're getting better and better at that everyloop, Veeps," Monika said genuinely.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK, YOU FAT-CHESTED VORE-FETISH COW!" Natsuki's voice screamed shrilly from inside the room.

"MAKE ME, YOU JUVENILE HAMSTER-FACED CAKE-JUNKIE!" Yuri's voice retorted. After a considerable pause, she added, "A-and I do NOT have a v-v-vore fetish!"

Then something crashed and the whole building seemed to shake.

"So…dare I ask?" Monika asked.

"Shipping dispute," Sayori replied, scooting away from the door before standing up next to Monika, dusting off her skirt.

"…as in their plans for shipping us, or…?"

"Nah, they were talking about that Ninjas of Love series that Blake gave us, and it turns out their respective OTPs are so diuretically–"

"Diametrically," Monika corrected automatically.

"–opposed on every possible level that they discovered that their philosophies regarding shipping are so irretrievably–"

"Irreconcilably?"

"–different that they had to get into this huge debate to convince each other that their way makes more sense."

"And inevitably words ceased to suffice and the gratuitous violence commenced," Monika surmised.

As if on cue, Yuri screamed, "YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU OFFENDED MY GOTHIC-ROMANCE SENSIBILITIES YOU EMOTIONALLY BRAINDEAD GERBIL!"

"EAT MY TSUNDERE ASS, YOU METAPHORICAL KNIFE-SWALLOWING PEN-OPHILE!" they heard Natsuki retort.

"…damn, that's a solid callback-burn," Monika muttered.

"…how long has it been since their last…y'know, big-blow-out fight?" Sayori asked.

Monika blinked. "16,428 loops," she replied. "Which is a new record for them. They are improving."

"Can you load the Holodeck with that Mall of America simulation?" Sayori asked.

"Sure thing. We should give them some space," Monika readily agreed.

…

Le next day:

After a day of window-shopping followed by a night of watching their favorite off-Broadway musicals at a simulation of Radio City Hall, Monika and Sayori returned to the clubroom with no small amount of trepidation. No one was screaming, nothing was shaking, and there was no indication of explosions. Was all well and good once again…or were they merely entering the eye of the storm?

As they entered the room, they heard Natsuki saying, "–and then Kyoko whips out a potato launcher and tells the blonde woman, 'we can do this the fun way, or you can grab that pepper shaker and take the easy way out. What'll it be, missy?' And I'm just standing there next to the bald kid like 'what even is today?', y'know?"

Yuri giggled. She had a black eye, and Natsuki appeared to be sporting a couple bald spots today.

Monika and Sayori just stood there, outside the doorway, staring at the pair chattering away about nothing in particular. Slowly, they turned their heads to share a glance. "…these two are way weirder as friends than they are as individuals," Monika observed in a low voice.

"The sheer irrationality required for two so disparate personalities to have any kind of benign relationship at all, let alone the great friendship they usually display, is more than enough to register even on Master Pinkie's weird-shit-o-meter," Sayori muttered back, "So I concur."

17.4 – The Great Debate, Continued, by Masterweaver.
(17.1 cont.)

"I would first like to examine the utilization of showers and baths for their presumably original intended purpose, that is, the cleaning of oneself."

"Also known as bathing," Natsuki pointed out.

"A linguistic holdover from the era before the shower," Monika countered. "Which, in this regard at least, is the clear superior."

Natsuki's hand slammed against the table. "I beg to differ!"

Monika quirked a brow. "The shower provides a constant stream of water to wash away the grime and accumulated dirt off the skin and hair. The bath, meanwhile, allows said filth to remain in the presence of the body until point of body's removal. Constant and efficient scrubbing of the skin-"

"Is less effective than an intense soak," Natsuki interjected. "Cleaning away the surface will do for a day or two, but with submersion the soap digs into the pores and the depths of the scalp. A good bath can leave one twice, if not four times, as clean as a shower. Spas across the world agree."

"I object! Spas have trained staff and specialized jet tubs, we are presuming the superiority of showers and bath in a basic sense!"

"Objections sustained." Sayori gave Natsuki a look. "Rephrase or drop the point."

"Hmm." Natsuki rubbed her chin. "Okay, so while I agree that spas have specialized baths, they do start with the basic bath in abstract for a reason. That reason being my original point, that soaking can draw out more oils and grime then merely wetting the surface of the skin."

Monika frowned. "While this might well be true, I have to point out that... hrm." She considered for a moment. "I was going to say something about long hair, but I honestly don't know how hair is washed in a bath."

"To be fair, hair is comprised of dead cells," Natsuki admitted. "So, at least from a standpoint concerned purly with cleanliness, there is no real difference between a bath and a shower."

"But the tangles-yes, the tangles," Monika recovered quickly. "In a shower, gravity tugs wet hair universally down, while in a bath the aquatic environment would lead to massive interference and, well, intertangling."

"Hmmmm." Yuri tapped her chin. "You know if that were the case, we should be getting a lot of tangles from going to swimming pools."

"Technically what we have are simulations of hair," Natsuki pointed out. "I... reeeeeeally hate to point it out, but even your dead corpse didn't really have that many tangles... we're not exactly good standards by which to judge the tangling of hair after a soak."

"Point sustained," Monika quipped.

"Hey!" Sayori cried. "That's my job!"

"I'm just saying, as the general program manager, long hair for us does not present the same issues long hair would present in real life."

"I will concede that soaking long hair could lead to a knotty situation," Natsuki said. "But only if care is not taken to disentangle while the hair is still wet which, assuming the hair is being run through with shampoo and fingers, is an unlikely event."

"Hmm." Sayori glanced from her to Monika. "Do you have anything to add to this assessment?"

"...At the moment, I do not."

"Then I believe we can safely say a bath is superior to a shower for the purpose of cleaning oneself."

Monika sighed. "Alright... moving on then."

17.5 – Marketing Monika, by Masterweaver.

"After a long day of hard schoolwork, tense teachers, and tight deadlines, every schoolgirl just wants to come home and indulge in some relaxation."

Monika's silky voice flowed smoothly out of the speakers as, on screen, she entered a softly lit apartment, her schoolbag sliiiiiiiiiding down her arms and slowly falling from her fingertips.

"A refreshing glass of tea is just the thing to ease her worries."

She sunk into a thickly padded chair with a gentle hum, reaching out to a nearby endtable where, inexplicably, a kettle and an already poured glass of tea was waiting. Her fingers wrapped slowly, individually, around the glass, and she brought it to her lips for a long, deep sip.

"Softleaf tea. Ease into bliss."

The glass was pulled from her face, and she gazed skyward with a sigh so content her back arced for five whole seconds.

Then the scene froze, leaving the Literature Club to stare at the smartphone with mixed expressions.

Sayori nodded thoughtfully. "Huh. Well, I'm questioning my sexuality now."

Natsuki hrmfed. "Yeah, so anyway I was browsing the net and this came up as an ad. Which begs the question... Monika, what did we just watch?"

"A tea commercial."

"Correction: We watched the world's most sensual tea commercial with you as the star player! Seriously, what?!"

Monika sighed. "Look, we need money to pay for the server we're on, alright? I signed a contract with a studio, filmed a few scenes-"

Sayori blinked. "I thought you could just hack rich people's accounts."

"They are surprisingly well guarded this loop. Don't know what's up with that. This seemed like a decent alternative."

"Uh-huh," Natsuki deadpanned, "and what was with the borderline seductive narration and acting?"

Monika shrugged. "Sex sells, even if it's implicit."

"Can confirm," Yuri agreed, "looks can get attention. Quality is needed to keep it, though."

"Well, I'm not in charge of making the tea, but their sales seem to be doing okay."

Natsuki pinched her brow. "Could you, maybe, have told us you were doing this?"

"I didn't want to worry you girls! I mean, it's just a way to pay rent, that's it."

"First of all, that is stupid we deserve to know what problems we're facing. Secondly, why didn't you think of inviting us to star in these things?"

Monika opened her mouth, paused, and facepalmed. "That is an excellent question."

"Hmm." Yuri frowned. "I am a bit camera shy, but... I guess I could help out with set design or something."

Sayori jumped up. "Ooo! I can do special effects!"

"And I guess I'll be the kid-appeal character for juiceboxes or whatever." Natsuki groaned. "Damn my malnourished midget body."

"Hey... that's not a bad idea," Yuri mused. "Spunky kid for spunky shoe commercials, you can do crazy parkour stunts with them..."

17.6 – Watch Out For Sith, by Black Omochao.
(DDLC)/(Yo-Kai Watch)

Sayori Awoke to find herself in a small, one-room building, sitting on a chair with a desk and laptop before her, she glanced around, noting the room was lightly furnished with things such as shelves that housed models and manga, as well as two couches in the center of the room, with some sort of small creature in a yellow rabbit-themed spacesuit sitting on one.

"Um… wait, what was that last thing?" Sayori questioned, quickly going through her memories and letting out a Ping. She got about three back and noted the small creature–yo-kai–had taken notice of her.

"Oh, you Awake? Dani," the being Sayori's memories told her was named 'USApyon' spoke curiously. "Darth Somnus, I presume? Pleasure to finally meet you, dani."

Sayori stared at the strange creature sitting before her in surprise, but more so by what it had referred to her as, rather than its appearance. "You… know of me?"

"I had heard of you from Cognita. It's nice talking to another Sith every now and then, even if I'm not a member of your group 'Looping Sith Ladies,' dani" the yo-kai explained with a shrug.

Sayori nodded in understanding, "Cognita… right… Cinder. I'm sorry, but… can we drop the titles for the rest of this conversation? Please?"

USApyon shrugged, "Makes no difference to me. Either I'm 'Darth USApyon,' or just plain USApyon. So, I'll call you Sayori, that what you want? Dani."

"Yes, thank you," the currently human girl bowed in thanks.

"Well you're certainly more respectful than my usual partner, though probably won't be long before I miss her annoying me, dani," USApyon shook his head with a sigh.

"Oh… sorry about that, taking your friend's place that is…" Sayori looked away a bit guiltily.

"Meh, I could use a break from her anyway," USApyon dismissed. "Not like you could have any say in where you Loop to anyway. Don't go beating yourself up over things that aren't your fault, okay? Dani."

"Yeah, that's true," the visiting Looper admitted with a nod, glancing toward the local curiously. "So… 'dani?'"

"It's a verbal-tick, dani," USApyon answered plainly.

"Right, okay…" Sayori nodded in understanding. "And also, 'Darth USApyon'… is that really your Sith name?"

"Yes. Dani."

A silence settled between the two Sith Loopers for a brief moment.

Sayori let out a cough, briefly going over the rest of her Loop-memories before speaking again. "So… we're like, yo-kai detectives?"

"Yup! We solve cases involving yo-kai, for yo-kai, or otherwise. Though usually it's not all that interesting since Inaho and I have already solved all the Baseline cases for the time being. But there is still variants and all the Loop variable time we potentially have," the otter yo-kai explained confidently. "Plus, with Looper abilities and knowhow we can typically expand our business to a lot more than what we were capable of in Baseline," USApyon paused as he glanced at Sayori again, "Though… since you're a visitor, we should probably keep things simple… dani."

"Well… being a detective could be interesting," the often-digital girl said thoughtfully. "Monika mentioned she visited this Loop before, though she became a yo-kai…"

"Monika, oh, she's here too," the local Looper pointed out.

Sayori's eyes widened with a bit of surprise, "She is?"

"She's replacing Fumika, other than Keita, she's the only other Awake Looper currently," USApyon pulled out a yo-kai pad and began swiping on it. "She said to contact her if you Woke up, she'll probably want to speak with you, make sure you're doing okay and everything. Dani."

"Yeah, that sounds like her," Sayori chuckled a bit.

"She wants us to meet at Keita's house. We can discuss how to handle the rest of the Loop from there," USApyon nodded, moving towards the door.

"It'll also be a chance to meet your Anchor, Monika talked about him once and mentioned we'd probably get along," Sayori smiled as she got up from her seat and followed the local Looper.

17.7 – The Great Debate, Expanded, by Masterweaver.
(17.1 cont.)

"In regards to utilization for the purposes of nonsexual physical relaxation, the shower provides consistent tactile impact through the stream of water at temperatures determined, hopefully, by the user of the shower, with some variation of pressure depending on the showerhead. This can be directed to various parts of the body as decided by the bather at different times." Monika clasped her hands together. "The bath, I think you'll find, only provides tactile sensation upon initial submersion."

"While I can see your point, I have to point out that tactile sensation is not the only benefit of a bathtub." Natsuki put a small sphere on the table. "Behold: The bath bomb. A collection of soaps, scents, and sparkles designed to emerge upon submersion in water, as seen in baths."

"And it is possible to put scented candles in showers-yes, it is, I've seen advertisements. And special soaps to scrub and foam on one's skin. The question of enhancements is, I think, irrelevant to the discussion; if we allowed it, we would both be bringing up increasingly esoteric soaps and shampoos which is, I believe, not the point of the debate."

"Hmmm." Sayori rubbed her chin thoughtfully. "I understand your argument, yet it can also be argued that the bath bomb and related ideas are exclusive to the bath. Can you think of a unique aspect of a shower that a bath does not have?"

"Flexible showerheads, for... intimate purposes."

"I object to that!" Natsuki stated. "At the moment we are describing whether showers or baths are more relaxing, not which is better for sex!"

"Does it qualify as sex if there is only one participant? But... yes, it is a gray area," Monika conceded. "However, the ability to aim the stream of water anywhere on the body is something that the bath does not have."

"...Point sustained. Baths can utilize bath bombs, and showers can utilize flexible showerheads." Sayori folded her hands. "However, given the variety of both such objects, I must insist that we do not bring in super-expensive ultrarare oh-my-god-you-have-to-try-this-you'll-die-it's-so-wonderful examples of either, simply accept that it is possible."

"Very well. Still, this only reinforces my original point," Monika affirmed. "The bath's relaxation is sustained, but diffused. The relaxation a shower affords can be actively directed to the most needy portions of the body, either through rotation of said body or directed use of a flexible shower head."

"So one has to actively participate in their relaxation," Natsuki pointed out. "Doesn't this defeat the purpose?"

"Not necessarily. We are aiming, I presume, for the end result of feeling refreshed. The bath and bath bomb may provide that, if the initial factors are calibrated properly, but once started it cannot be altered. The shower is controlled at all times, so momentary discomfort can be altered on the fly to create an overall better experience."

"Mmm..." Natsuki poned her mouth, paused, and frowned. "...Yeah, okay, fine... I guess you win this one."

"Oh." Monika coughed. "Well, this is awkward."

"Why?"

Yuri chuckled. "Don't you realize, Natsuki? If Bath won one point, and Shower won one point, then in the end it boils down..."

"...to which one is better for sex." Natsuki groaned. "Well, this will be fun..."

17.8 – Fashion Statement, by Masterweaver.

"Well I've heard of stiletto heels, but this... this is something else."

"Oh, hello Natsuki. Yes, My last loop was quite interesting."

"Really? Interesting enough to strap kitchen knives to your shoes?"

"I, ah, may have taken up an apprentice position. Informal, but after explaining my story to her Bayonetta decided to teach me a few tricks."

"...Bayonetta."

"Yes, Bayonetta."

"The eight-foot-tall angel-slaying sexually intimidating witch with spandex made from her own hair and high-heel pistols who makes Kill La Kill look childsafe."

"Your artistic description is quite well constructed. But she's slain demons as well."

"...You know, Yuri, my first instinct is to say what the actual frig-frag is going through your head, but the more I think about it the more it makes sense."

"Well, I already have the hair for it, after all..."

17.9 – Key Issues, by Masterweaver.

"Sooooooooooo." Monika cleared her throat. "Let me see... let me see if I understand, entirely, what is going on here."

She ticked off her hands. "Hiroaka was, apparently, one of the Keyblade wielders that Ansem-"

"Xemnas," Sayori corrected quickly.

"No, it's Xenahort," Yuri pointed out.

"Whatever! The big bad guy got ahold of Hiroaka and..." Monika winced a little. "Spiritually vivisected him, I think."

"But not before putting him to sleep first," Natsuki said. "Which is where I came from."

"Yes, you're the Dream Eater that, somehow, he raised to sapience. I... don't know if that's possible in Kingdom Hearts baseline but, I guess, whatever. So, anyway, Xenahort started by trying to split apart the light and darkness of Hiroaka's heart, and that caused a huge explosion of emotion monsters...?"

"Unversed," Yuri supplied. "I was one of the last."

"Right, I remember that, I'm coming to it. Anyway, so in the process, he somehow drained the light from Hiroaka, but because Hiroaka's sleeping heart was being held on by Natsuki, his waking... heart, which is somehow different, became the world's friendliest Heartless."

"Personally," Sayori mused, "I kind of feel weird being a literal depression monster."

"Anyway, then the rest of the light formed into an Unversed made out of his... curiosity, I think, and that's Yuri, and then his soul, which is apparently just the animating force of the body, took over his body and became a Nobody, which is me, and by the way Kingdom Hearts terminology is really weird."

"You know, they mistranslated Aura as Scent in the English translation of Chain of Memories?" Natsuki shrugged. "I mean, I heard about it online-"

"Whatever. So, as a Nobody, Ans-Xem-ugh, the bald evil guy had me make a replica of Hiroaka and transfer his memories into the replica, so the Hiroaka that thinks he's Hiroaka is actually a replica, and that also had the side effect of bringing Natsuki into the waking world, and somehow we're all still independent and able to function despite somehow all technically being the same guy. Except Natsuki who is just a dream ghost... thing."

Yuri nodded. "Yes, that about sums it up. Except for the part where I eat the other Unversed, but that's kind of irrelevant."

"You know what confuses me?" Sayori put her hand on her hip. "Hiroaka is a boy. We're all girls. I don't think he was transgender this loop-"

Natsuki held up a hand. "I think that's my fault. The dream world has a kind of fluid interpretation of gender when it does at all, so I might have confused him for a her and that affected all of your formations... I'm just spitballing here."

Monika pinched her brow. "Whatever. So, we're four parts of one person that by the metaphysics of this reality shouldn't exist, and we've woken up early enough that Sora and crew are probably not Awake, and... uh... Disney stuff, I guess. I don't know, the lore is really confusing." She sighed. "So... anyway, what do we do now?"

There was some consideration.

"...practice using a Keyblade?" Sayori suggested.

"But if we're fragments of the same person, we should only be able to use one Keyblade between all of us," Yuri pointed out.

"And I'm technically separate from this whole mess," Natsuki added. "So I don't get the giant magic key."

Monika groaned. "This is going to be a long loop."

17.10 – Playing Each Other, Part 2, by Black Omochao.
(12.3 cont.)
(DDLC)/(Seaman)

Seaman narrowed his eyes at the colorful title screen that had appeared on the monitor, though he remembered the warning he saw when he started the game up. "… Some sort of subversive-game? Probably going to start all cutesy and turn to horror half-way through?" fish-man rolled his eyes.

…

Monika twitched slightly, looking around, particularly in Hiroaka's direction. The Anchor looked towards her friends, just as a fish tank loaded up on the game screen.

"Okay, here we go, I can tell this is going to be a good time!" Sayori smiled enthusiastically, keeping hold of the controller.

"Sayori, have you ever played a pet-sim?" Natsuki questioned cynically.

"Guys," Monika spoke quietly, before the vice-president could answer. "Player's here," she subtly gestured towards the blank-faced MC.

"But we were just getting started," Sayori groaned, "Look, there's already some little fish people in the tank, one of them's using a computer!"

"That is so weird," Natsuki winced at the bizarre creatures swimming around in the tank.

"Guys, we should greet the player, at least. The game can wait," Yuri reasoned with a small smile.

"I don't care either way," Natsuki deadpanned as she turned towards Yuri.

Sayori kept her eyes on the game screen. "I want to at least try greeting the little guys with this microphone-thing, the player doesn't start here so thing's are already derailed. How about you guys greet them, while I play a little longer?" before a response could be given, Sayori cleared her through and spoke into the microphone, "Hello!"

…

"Hm…?" Seaman blinked, glancing away from the computer screen when he heard the foggy sound of the caretaker's voice. He looked back at the screen, nothing seemed to have happened yet.

There was a classroom, and those four girls from the title screen sitting around, with one of them focused on a game console, by the looks of it, none had attempted to interact with his character yet. With a shrug of his fins, he paused the game and began swimming towards the front of the tank.

The caretaker wasn't usually too good with conversation, but it was worth attempting some interaction.

…

"Hm? The player just paused," Monika stated in surprise.

Natsuki looked at the club president skeptically, "Already? We haven't even interacted with them yet! Did they need to use the bathroom!?"

…

"So, what do you want?" Seaman asked as he came up to the murky wall of the tank, his other selves swimming around and babbling.

…

Sayori paused, trying to think of something to say to the human-faced fish creature.

"Seriously? Why are you so focused on this creepy game?" Natsuki sighed. "We still need to think of what to say to the player once they get back!"

Sayori blinked, looking towards her pink-haired friend, before smiling, "Oh, that's a great idea!" Sayori looked back towards the screen eagerly, pressing the button to speak into the microphone, "Do you have a name?"

…

Seaman let out an annoyed sigh at the caretaker's question, "Yes, it's Seaman, obviously."

…

"Rude little gremlin isn't it?" Natsuki grumbled with crossed arms.

"Says the girl who wants to ignore the game," Yuri spoke quietly, she noticed her shorter friend's eyes dart towards her dangerously, she smirked at her.

"Hmm, they're still not back yet," Monika pointed out, patting the inactive Hiroaka on the shoulder.

Sayori nodded to her friends, but also hummed a bit to herself as she tried to think of something else to say to the odd fish-creature on the monitor.

…

Seaman stared at the front wall of the tank for a few more seconds, slowly growing annoyed with the lack of further comment from the caretaker. "… Look, if you come up with something interesting to talk about, I'll be here. But for now, I bid you a good-bye!" and with a huff, the Looping fish-man swam back towards the small computer. 'Whatever this game entails has to be more entertaining than talking to the caretaker, at least.'

…

"Oh, he's going back to the little computer," Sayori pointed out, sounding both curious and a bit disappointed at the same time.

"Good! Now maybe you can tear yourself away from disgusting game for a little bit," Natsuki grumbled to herself, before noticing Sayori sending her a look that showed she clearly heard her. "… I'm sorry."

"It's fine, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea to leave the Seaman alone at this crucial early stage of development," the vice-president of the literature club insisted, a maternal smile on her face.

Natsuki gave her friend a deadpan look. "… It's a video game, Sayori."

Yuri blinked, looking towards Natsuki, before glancing around the room. "… Not a very convincing point."

"Guys, the player's back!" Monika suddenly exclaimed, bringing the other threes' attention to her. The Anchor let out a cough, before moving back over to the MC and putting on a friendly smile.

"… Can you at least move yourself away from the game long enough to introduce yourself to the player?" the shortest doki asked pointedly.

Yuri chuckled as Sayori let out a childish sigh. "Don't worry, we'll tell them you're a gaming addict and you won't get bothered that much."

"Gaming addict?" the pinkish-orange-haired girl blinked, giving her friend a displeased look. "I haven't even been playing that long…"

"Hello there, I'm Monika. As president of the literature club, it is with great pleasure that I welcome our newest member, um…" Monika gained an odd expression as she read the data that told her the imputed player name. "Seaman…?"

…

Seaman curiously kept his eyes on the computer screen. "Interesting. Usually games like this don't react to strange sounding names…" Seaman used his antenna to scratch his nose. "Unless it's just always like that, for story reasons or whatever. Oh well, I'll see where this game takes me, at the least it will waste a few hours."

17.11 – The Great Debate, Concluded, by Masterweaver.
(17.1 cont.)

"Well... um." Monika cleared her throat. "Well... let's... just assume two participants for this, mutually consenting, and... safe sane and consensual. Obviously."

"Obviously," Natsuki agreed. "No drowning your partner."

"So. Well." Monika gripped at the air. "So... I think... degree of motion. Yes, showers provide more... space, for the... limbs, when they move. And the body if... up. Down. That thing."

"Well, um... baths... the water supports," Natsuki managed. "So, you know, you can feel... all around the, um. Since they're floating-"

"If they're floating, then, uh, the girl is under the water, right?"

"No. See, she..." Natsuki bent her elbow. "She's sitting, right? Half-sitting. And the... other one, I mean, I'm kind of picturing two girls but it could be two guys... trail up, kisses and..."

"Yes, lips, that... but gripping with, if they're standing, shower..."

"Legs. Legs can, you know, straddle in a horizontal..."

The two of them were slowly turning the color of each other's hair. Yuri hid her growing grin behind a hand. Sayori tried, she tried to keep herself from laughing... but a single giggle escaped her lips.

Natsuki's face went completely red. "No, you know what? This is a stupid debate, let's call it."

"Aw come on!" Sayori whined with grin. "You were doing so well!"

Monika's hands clamped over her face. "Please, no, let's drop it, I agree with Natsuki."

"But I still don't know which one is better!" Yuri complained, no longer bothering to hide her smirk.

Natsuki slammed her hand down. "You know what? Let's just say a river is better."

"Yes," Monika agreed. "The soaking of a tub and the tactile sensation of a shower."

"Plus you get to spend time outside. Gotta love that sun!"

"And if you're lucky you can catch a passing fish as a snack!"

"Ye-wait, hold on, you can't eat fish unprepared!"

"You can if you're Bowser!"

"What?!" Natsuki threw up her hands. "What does that mean?!"

"It... means exactly what I said," Monika rallied, crossing her arms. "Bowser can eat live fish."

"Why Bowser, why did your mind specifically go to Bowser of all things?"

"I... uh... okay, fine, so I was Bowser for my last loop, it was very strange, it just popped into my head-"

Sayori leaned forward, resting her chin on her hand. "Were you a sexy Bowser?"

"WHa-NO! I mean, maybe! I mean-seriously, no, I was just a Bowser that, that was a girl, that's it, I swear."

Natsuki scoffed. "Come on, Sayori, who ever heard of a sexy Bowser?"

"The internet is a wide and varied place," Yuri mused. "I'm sure if we did a google search-"

Monika groaned. "Sweet Yggdrasil, Yuri, why?! Why are you like this?"

"Look, I'm sure that whatever sexy Bowsers are out there are just all weird rule 34 furry stuff," Natsuki said. "If sexy Bowser ever actually becomes a thing like a big thing, I will... I don't know, I'll make one of those really crappy Sonic OCs and have Monika program up a body that I'll prance around in for a loop."

"Yes. I will too. If there ever is a sexy Bowser meme, we'll be the world's cheapest furries for a loop, alright?!"

"I don't mind the furry fandom," Sayori pointed out.

"They're pretty good people, aside from the extremists," Yuri agreed. "Then again, that's universal."

"I mean-no, I-" Monika threw up her hands. "WHAT EVEN IS THIS CONVERSATION?!"

"It's one that is going to end now," Natsuki said.

"Yes. Yes it is. This conversation is just completely nonsensical. Let's all agree that it never, ever happened, and that it's never going to affect us, because we're not going to argue about showers and baths."

"It's a matter of personal preference. That's it. We're done. Story over. Nothing more to see here."

Yuri and Sayori were, at this point, laughing openly.

"...Why." Natuski sighed. "Why do we even bother trying to pretend we're sane."

"I don't know." Monika rested her head on the table. "I really don't."

Compiler's Commentary:

17.1: *Wolfman's ears perk up*

17.2: I very strongly regret that I've got too many other things going on in my life to pick up this remake, because Shadow of the Colossus is honestly one of the greatest products of the PS2 Era.

17.3: The difference between best friends and normal friends is that best friends can have fights like this more than once, and then think little-to-nothing of it afterwards.

17.4: *Wolfman claps a paw over snout, holding in snickers*

17.5: REVENUE STREAM!

17.6: Sayori adopted USApyon's verbal tic for a loop and drove her friends nuts with it.

17.7: *Wolfman rolling around on the floor, laughing hysterically*

17.8: Honestly, I don't think anyone's ever summed up Bayonetta better than Natsuki does here.

17.9: As a card-carrying member of the Kingdom Hearts fandom since '05, I can attest that this is an accurate reaction from most newcomers.

17.10: I'm reminded of when you try to call someone and you get their voicemail, so you leave a message, but you're not available when they get back to you, so they leave a message on your voicemail, and you just keep missing each other like that. And then when you finally get in touch, you can't remember what you wanted in the first place because you didn't include it in your first message. So frustrating. 's why I almost exclusively text people with my phone.

17.11: *Wolfman passed out on the floor from laughing himself stupid*