The Infinite Loops Project: Doki Doki Literature Club Compilation

by The Skaz of the Void

Due to the original compiler's prolonged absence, I've been permitted to take over compiling duties for the Infinite Loops of the Doki Doki Literature Club. Enjoy! Four girls with a traumatic shared history have joined the Infinite Loops of Yggdrasil. Together they'll share some great times, and some not-so great times. Because more than love and literature, friendship is forever.

19. Chapter 19 - Dokis at a Wedding!

Chapter 19.

Special Compilation: Doki-Dokies at the Bumblebee Wedding!

Scene 1: Dokies, to the Wedding!
(DDLC!)/(RWBY)/(Half-Life)
(By me)

"I don't get it," commented Natsuki. "We're in a fleshy-loop, we all Woke Up at the same time, there were a bunch of Pings…and it's been two days, and nothing's happened. This many Loopers at once means a massive Fused Loop, which usually doesn't just happen. Something's going on, but it feels like we're being left out…"

Yuri, sitting across the table from her and reading a book, nodded her agreement.

"Girls!" exclaimed Monika as she rushed into the clubroom, "This is it! I just got the call from the Remnant Loopers!"

"Remnant…" muttered Sayori, and then gasped, "You mean…this is that Loop?"

"This is the Loop!" Monika confirmed joyously, "This is the Wedding Loop!"

Her club members squealed with joy, only for Yuri to gasp, "But wait! We're on Earth…how are we getting to Remnant?"

"Penny gave me the coordinates for Remnant. She offered to help us get there, since that's her job for this loop, but she seemed really stressed out…so I told her we would make our own way," said Monika. Then she looked straight at Sayori. "You've got the hook-up, right, Veepee?"

"Oh-ho-HO!" said Sayori, jumping up onto a table, "Do I ever!" she exclaimed triumphantly. "How far away is Remnant from Earth?"

"Pretty far…but at top speed, we should get there well within the day," said Monika as she lead the girls out of the room.

"Okay, you guys are being cryptic. What do you know that we don't?" asked Natsuki, "You don't know what they're on about, right, Yu?" Yuri shook her head.

"Sayori picked up something…very interesting in her last Star Wars loop, and I asked her to keep it a secret for a while. For a dramatic occasion such as this," said Monika.

"Damn it, Monika, you're such a cartoon sometimes," Natsuki muttered amusedly.

The four girls made their way out of the school. "Okay, everyone. We need to make our way out of town. Somewhere Sayori can Unpocket…something pretty big, without any civilians seeing."

"Oh, come on, Monika, quit with the mystery game," Natsuki snapped, "It's obviously a spaceship."

"You'll understand when you see it," said Sayori with a smile.

"Anyways, I've already got a place in mind, and it would be simplest for us to ride there together," said Monika, "So if you're at all fond of your cars, best go Pocket them now."

"Nah, mine's a cheap fuckin' lemon," grumbled Natsuki, dropping a quarter into a nearly-full glass jar that Sayori thrust in her direction.

"I'm a bus rider," said Sayori, Pocketing her swear jar.

"A moment, please," said Yuri before running off. A moment later, she came roaring back.

"What the heck is that?" asked Natsuki, pointing at Yuri's motorcycle.

"Kawasaki Ninja H2," Yuri stated proudly as the bike disappeared into her Subspace Pocket. "Street legal version of the track-only H2R model, the fastest production motorcycle in the Hub."

Sayori whistled. "How much did that set you back? Are you rich this loop?"

"Not this loop," Yuri admitted as the four of them proceeded to pile into Monika's car, "I actually got this in my last Hub loop, where I was indeed a wealthy young businesswoman. I have an H2R in my Pocket as well, in addition to several other high-performance motorcycles. You could say it's a fairly recent hobby of mine."

"Huh. Didn't think you'd like something so…noisy," said Sayori.

"She probably likes it for the thrill factor," Natsuki reasoned, "And the fact that a motorcycle is basically a really big vib–"

"Natsuki!" Yuri gasped, looking a little scandalized.

…

Outside of the city, in the middle of absolutely nowhere, Monika pulled over to the side of the road and stopped her car. They all got out, and walked out into the large, grassy field. "Alright, Sayori. Blow 'em away," said Monika, sweeping her arm out grandly.

"Better not be some anticlimactic nonsense," Natsuki grumbled, "Cuz I'm actually invested in this, now. Whatcha got for us, Sunny?"

Sayori walked a few paces away from the others. She put out both hands. And then, after a brief pause for dramatic effect, she Unpocketed–

"A Millennium Falcon?!" Yuri and Natsuki gasped with apropos gravitas.

Indeed, it was none other than The Alleged Car of spaceships. It had been repainted with a mainly sky-blue scheme, with some black and pink accents, and it had what appeared to be a medieval-style trebuchet attached to the topside, as well as a…wait, was that a bounce-house?

"How?!" Natsuki gasped, "I mean, I'm sure Han Solo has copies in his Pocket, but does he actually give them away?"

"Not this one, at least," said Sayori, looking supremely self-satisfied. "This one, I won from an Unawake Lando Calrissian before Han could get it in the first place. Oh-ho, the look on his face when he Woke Up…I mean, it's not nearly as impressive as Master's Party Star, but I'm proud of her all the same."

"Did you rechristen it?" asked Yuri as the four of them approached the ship.

"Course I did, silly!" Sayori giggled. She stepped onto the ramp, spun about-face, and curtsied to her friends. "Welcome, my dearest friends, aboard the Eternal Sunshine!"

…

"Hokie-jokie, Doki-Dokis," said Sayori as she skipped along towards the cockpit, "Mony, give Blinky the coordinates and join me up in the cockpit. Yuri, you know Binary, right? See if the Pinky, Inky, and Clyde need help with anything. Natsuki, you're on snack detail. Kitchen-type-thingy is that-a-way."

The inside of the ship, as anyone would suspect of anything belonging to Sayori, was chaotically decorated with murals and paintings that wouldn't look out-of-place in a kindergarten, in addition to hanging beads and disco balls, wind chimes, what appeared to be baby mobiles, banners exclaiming inspirational slogans, Motivational Posters, Demotivational Posters, and other memetic pictures, and of course every bit of wallspace not already accounted for was covered with photographs. A good few depicted Sayori's fellow Literature Club Loopers, but most of them were of Sayori and Pinkie Pie, with periodic inclusions of Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano, Yoda, and other Star Wars Loopers.

"Blinky? Pinky? Inky?" asked Yuri, "…Clyde?"

"My droids," Sayori chirped, gesturing to four R4-series astromech droids that rolled into the room, beeping greetings to their master; each one was painted a single color all-over. One was cherry-red, one was a light shade of pink, one was sky-blue, and the slowest one was a dull orange. "They're named after the ghosts from Pac-Man!"

"You are SUCH a dork!" Natsuki called from the kitchen, laughing.

"Hey, Sayori?" asked Monika, who had stopped in front of one photo. "Who are these girls? I don't recognize them."

"Hmm? Oh, that's Sunset and Sayaka," Sayori chirped, looking at the photo, which showed her smiling between a blue-haired girl and a woman with orange skin and red hair with yellow streaks. "Oh man, I gotta tell you about that Loop sometime…but for now, we've got a wedding to get to! So let's get!"

With that, Sayori clapped onto Monika's arm and yanked her off towards the cockpit.

…

About four hours later, the whole ship rattled and shook, dropped out of hyperspace and came to a dead stop. "Flies on rice!" Sayori cursed, turning in her seat and giving a hard kick to a seemingly random spot on the wall. Then she jumped out of the pilot's seat and ran out of the cockpit, yelling instructions to her droids. Monika, clutching her forehead, stumbled after her.

Then there was a loud crashing noise, followed by the sound of an unfamiliar woman screaming, then a heavy metallic thump. Then Natsuki yelled, "MONIKA! SAYORI! WE'VE GOT A…uh…just come and see!"

"All yours, Prez," said Sayori, going left at the end of the cockpit access corridor, "I'mma check the hyperdrive." So Monika went right, to the main hold, where Natsuki and Yuri had been hanging out last she had known.

She stopped short upon entering the room. "Well…judging by all the cards scattered around, I'm guessing you were putting together one heck of a castle. Who's your new friend?" she asked, gesturing to the unconscious, armored fellow lying face down in the middle of the room, on a pile of playing cards.

"We were trying to recreate St. Basil's Cathedral," said Yuri. "As for him, I've never met the gentleman."

"Me neither," said Natsuki, who was nudging him with her toe.

"So…what happened?" Monika asked.

"Well, we came to a full-stop, as I'm sure you noticed," said Natsuki, "Which, thanks to Yuri and I being total architectural badasses, didn't make our card-thedral collapse. Then there was a flash of light, and this shmuck appears and just destroys three hours' worth of hard work! Then he gets up, cussing his ass off, sees me and Yuri…then he screams like a ninny and passes the hell out."

"…ninny? Really, Nat? In this day and age, ninny?" asked Monika. She walked over to the man's side, crouched down, and turned his head so she could see his face. Then her eyes widened…and she grinned evilly. "Girls. Cover your ears," she said, an air horn appearing in her hand.

Natsuki and Yuri clapped their hands over their ears, and Monika proceeded to blast the horn right in the man's ear.

"GWHAAAAAT THE FUCK?!" yelled the man as he jumped up and staggered away, holding his head.

"Christ, Mons, what did he ever do to you?" asked Natsuki.

"Let's just say he's someone you don't want to be stuck with in an action-survival situation," said Monika. Then she turned back to the man, staggering around and shaking his head. "Good afternoon, Dr. Freeman~" Monika greeted him sweetly. Natsuki and Yuri recognized it as Monika's 'I'm going to have so much fun fucking with your head' tone of voice.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Doctor Gordon Freeman demanded, raising his head and turning to face her at last. "You dumb, crazy…biiiiiiiii…"

He trailed off as he took in her cheerful, smiling visage. He blanched and broke out in a cold sweat, his eyes darting over to Natsuki and Yuri, then back to Monika. He gulped.

"The hell was that noise?" Sayori asked as she entered the room, behind Gordon.

Gordon whirled around, a gun appearing in his hand, and upon seeing Sayori his eyes bulged. Then his eyes rolled back and he fainted, again.

"Think he's played our game?" asked Natsuki.

"Or visited our Loop when none of us were Awake?" suggested Yuri.

"Aww, man…" Sayori groaned, covering her face with one hand.

Monika blushed and bowed her head. "Well…if he had to put up with Unawake-me, then I guess I really can't hold a grudge…damn it, I'm horrible…"

"Hey, quit your Yuri-ing," said Natsuki, giving Monika a friendly swat on the shoulder. Yuri blushed and facepalmed. "Now, let's lug this poor guy onto a bed or something."

…

Dr. Gordon Freeman, one of the Multiverse's foremost Looping physicists and Cosmic Playthings, woke up in a strange bed. He didn't feel hungover, and the lights in the room weren't gouging his eyes out, so drugs and/or alcohol had not been a factor in his losing consciousness; his head wasn't aching at all, so it wasn't blunt force trauma this time, either. Before he could remember what had knocked him out he heard a girl's voice, soft with a hard edge. "Hey, whatever you do, don't flip your shit. You're safe here. None of us are going to hurt you or traumatize you, Doc. I'm Natsuki."

Gordon bolted into an upright sitting position. "Why the fuck are you guys Looping?!" he exclaimed, "Were all the Admins getting stoned off their asses and flipping through a playbook of Really Dumb Ideas?"

Natsuki sighed. She put out a hand, and in it appeared what looked to be wooden cudgel covered in metal studs, almost seven feet long and at least a foot and a half wide at its thickest point. "Just cuz I told you we'd be nice, doesn't mean I'll let you talk crap about me and my friends right to my face. If there's such a thing as a Playbook of Really Dumb Ideas, pissing me off would have to be pretty high on the list."

Gordon just shrugged, being not easily intimidated, especially by little girls. "Whatever you say, kid."

"That being said, I can't blame you for being apprehensive," said Natsuki, dropping her kanabo back into her subspace Pocket. "Last thing I wanted to do today was babysit some passed out jellybag dweeb. But seeing as we don't know how far you put up with our Baseline's crap before screwing the script, I was elected least likely to freak you out, so I got shafted with the crap detail. Now, do you think you can pull yourself together long enough for us to go back out with everybody? I'd kinda like to finish St. Basil's Cathedral."

Before Gordon could ask the short girl what that was supposed to mean, she was already leaving the room.

About fifteen minutes later, Gordon ran out into the main hold. "Okay, who the fuck stole my teleporter?" he asked.

"It hasn't been stolen, just temporarily confiscated," Monika spoke up. Incidentally, she was sitting at a table covered with odd-looking parts. Gordon stared at the table. Then he stared at Monika. His face turned red and blotchy.

"Whoa!" yelled a voice that made Gordon's skin crawl. "I'm feeling a lot of anger coming from back there. Do you guys need me?"

"We're fine, Sayori!" Monika called back.

"Meh, I'm bored anyways." Sayori's voice grew closer, "I quintuple-checked the astrogation this time, and Blinky has the best auto-pilot programming in four different universes. And we're only two more hours away from Remnant, anyways. We should be fine."

"Famous last words," Natsuki muttered as Sayori entered the room.

As soon as he saw Sayori, Gordon's face went from livid to pale. Immediately, Sayori threw one of her hands up in Gordon's direction. "Please, stay calm, Dr. Freeman. You're among friends. None of us mean you any harm. Nothing here is a threat to you. Be calm. Be at peace."

Monika, Yuri, and Natsuki felt something pulse through them between Sayori and Gordon. Gordon's expression evened out. He even grinned a little. Then he violently shook his head and frowned. "Hey! No funny business! I'm way too damned smart to be lulled into a false sense of security by some kind of Jedi mind trick."

"I'm not trying to lull anyone into anything," Sayori said evenly, "I just want you to understand that you're safe here. We're Loopers, right? We've moved a long, long way away from…whatever your experience with us was like. And I'm sorry about whatever you…oh…ah…I-I'm sorry." Sayori's expression darkened and she backed up, looking down.

"What'd you see?" Gordon demanded, jumping back and putting his hands over his head.

"I didn't read your mind," Sayori said in a small voice. "I saw it in your eyes…you Replaced my friend, and you…you saw what happened to me, didn't you?"

"Oh, I saw all right! I saw what you…" Gordon abruptly shut up as the other three girls all turned frigidly hostile looks towards him.

"Tread very carefully with your next words, Dr. Freeman," Monika said menacingly. "Sayori is very self-conscious about…that…and we really don't like people who set her off. Are we clear?"

Gordon sighed. "Yeah, fine. Whatever. Now what the hell are you doing with my shit?"

"Well, we dropped out of hyperspace for no good reason right before you popped in," said Monika, "So I figured your teleporter messed with us. I'm guessing it uses gravitonic quantum distortions to effect spatial transpositions. And since hyperspace is more or less a compression of realspace, and substantial gravity wells in realspace can cause distortions in hyperspace, it stands to reason that a gravitonic spatial transposition across realspace could also distort hyperspace."

"Hey!" Natsuki suddenly yelled, pointing at Monika. "This is a Star Wars spaceship. Leave that Treknobabble malarkey off of this bird!"

Monika snickered. "Sorry. But anyways, yeah, I was just taking a look-see at this gizmo."

Gordon bristled, "Well put it back together right now, damn it, and give it back!"

"I am putting it back together," said Monika coolly, "And unfortunately, while I'll happily give it back to you, I'm going to have to insist that you not use it. You didn't just knock us out of hyperspace; your teleporter's distortion knocked us out of hyperspace hard enough to somewhat damage our hyperdrive. Using this thing from inside the ship could cause even more damage."

"So stop the ship long enough for me to get off!" said Gordon, "I sure as hell don't want to stay a minute longer on this ship than I absolutely–"

"I'm sorry!" Sayori suddenly gasped, her voice choking, "I'm sorry, Gordon, I…I'm sorry you had to see…I'm so sorry…"

Everyone turned to look at Sayori. Her miserable, self-loathing expression sent a hot pang of guilt rippling through Gordon. Guilt and shame were not things Gordon Freeman generally dealt with, but he wasn't completely heartless.

"You dumb son of a bitch," Natsuki growled, her kanabo reappearing in hand. She took a step towards Gordon, but Yuri quickly grabbed her around the middle.

"Insensitivity, in and of itself, is not a crime deserving of capital punishment, Natsuki," the taller girl said calmly, though she was glaring daggers at the man the whole time. Even though he was a much older Looper and thus in no real danger from the Literature Club Loopers, Gordon Freeman was as nervous about being the object of a hostile group of girls' collective ire as any other man.

"Okay everyone, please, calm down," said Monika, standing up from the table. "And if at all possible, let's all remember who's really at fault here: me. It was my fault Sayori…y'know…and it's therefore my fault that Gordon is so wary of us. I know none of us like to see our VP cry, but we can't blame him for being all kinds of uneasy around us. Natsuki, Yuri, please comfort Sayori. Dr. Freeman, if you would, please come with me. I'd like to have a private discussion with you."

As Gordon followed Monika into the next room, the astromech named Pinky suddenly zipped across the room and jabbed its shock-probe into Gordon's leg. The shock was by no means strong enough to penetrate the superb electrical insulation of Gordon's heavily modified HEV armor. Still, he felt the droid slam into him and saw the spark come off of its probe, and he didn't appreciate it at all. So he kicked the droid away.

Gordon followed Monika through two rooms, to the Number Two Hold, which included the ship's kitchen area. "Coffee?" Monika offered as she fixed herself a cup.

"That the strongest stuff you've got?" Gordon asked, rubbing the sides of his head.

"The strongest I'll offer, yes. As obnoxious as you are sober, I'd still rather not deal with you when you're drinking," Monika muttered.

Gordon raised an eyebrow. "You were Unawake that one time, weren't you? Have we met in another loop?"

"Sort of," said Monika, somewhat cagily. Gordon's other eyebrow joined the first. Monika sighed. "I've been to Black Mesa, alright? I'm not sure if you were either Unawake or some form of completely wasted. Unless you do remember the woman with the hair bun, surgical mask, and submachine gun?"

Gordon glanced off into space and scratched the side of his face thoughtfully. "Can't say I do…but I have spent whole baseline runs blitzed."

"I can't necessarily say I approve," Monika half-sighed, "But having gone through Black Mesa once, I can't say I blame you, either. I'm guessing that whole "cascade resonance" deal is annoyingly hard to prevent?"

"You bet your ass it is!" said Gordon irritably.

"Okay, so, let's just get this out of the way real quick," said Monika as she sat down at a table with her coffee. "I'm sorry for the air horn. I could make an excuse, but I won't. You and I have dealt with each other's Baselines, so I figure we're even. More or less. You can't really be "even" in situations like these, I suppose, but I'm not really one for pissing contests…as concerns misery and self-pity, at least."

"…alright, fine, whatever," grumbled Gordon as he started fixing his own cup of coffee.

"Well, I can tell you haven't changed a whole lot as a person in the Loops, assuming that was the Unawake you," Monika said frankly.

"Oh, no, by all means, tell me what you really think," Gordon sneered as he took a seat on the other side of the table.

"I think you're an obnoxious ass who's even less deserving of being an Anchor than I," Monika continued calmly. "If that was–"

"Yes!" Gordon suddenly snapped, "Fine, I admit it! That's exactly what I'm like. Okay?"

"Okay, good," said Monika cheerfully, giving a sigh of relief. Gordon's irritable flush receded and he cocked his head curiously. "Now I know it's okay for me to feel bad about the air horn, and I don't have to rescind my apology."

Now Gordon frowned. "Uh…okay? I…you're happy that you fucked up and don't have to apologize for it?"

Monika took a long drink from her coffee. "I did a…well, a few different horrible things, a long time ago. On occasion, I find it regrettably necessary to do something I'd rather not. Over these many years of looping, I've apologized many times. For many things. Usually to my friends. Sometimes to other people. And more than once, I've met a Looper who had to suffer our Baseline's insanity and, despite the overall custom of Loopers not judging one another for their Unawake actions, I have felt compelled to apologize to them for that. And…well…" Monika started laughing, a perfectly normal, girlish laugh that Gordon nonetheless found deeply disturbing. "Well, people often find it hard to believe this about me, but…well, I'm really not a humble person. I apologize a lot because it's the right thing to do, I feel, but I hate doing it, all the same. It…pricks at me. The only thing I hate more than apologizing is finding out the apology wasn't necessary. Because then I have to take it back, because just as my sense of justice compels me to apologize for my wrongdoings, my sense of pride demands that I take back apologies that I didn't have to give in the first place. My ego can really tear itself apart over that kind of thing. Apologizing is humbling, but taking it back is outright humiliating."

Gordon rubbed his head and groaned, "You talk a lot, kid."

"…yeah, I guess I do," Monika agreed, staring into her cup. Then a device appeared in her hand, which she used to create a blue circular portal in the air. "Well, there's your ride to Remnant. See you there, I suppose."

"Huh. That's one of Rick Sanchez's portal gun's," Gordon observed, "And historically speaking, he isn't renowned for his sense of charity. How'd you–"

"My interactions with other Loopers are my business and my business only," Monika stated flatly, putting the portal gun back in her Pocket.

"Fair enough," Gordon conceded. "So why didn't you whip this out back there?"

"I…would rather my friends weren't aware of my friendships with certain Loopers, and as you noted that is a very visually distinct device," Monika admitted, glancing aside and taking a sip of her coffee. "Rick has a reputation, as I'm sure you know–"

"So long, boring story short, you don't want your buddies knowing you're messing around with a cynical, nihilistic jackass," Gordon surmised with a smirk.

Monika only rolled her eyes. "My relationship–and I only use that word because 'friendship' is a little too strong–is of a purely intellectual nature. Even if it weren't, right now I'm abstaining from romantic or sexual relations with anyone. And even if I weren't, Rick's not my type. He and I just happen to have somewhat similar worldviews and a common interest in making physics our plaything. He's not the nicest man I've met in the Multiverse, but he's someone I can respect."

"But not enough that you want your friends to know about him," Gordon pointed out.

Monika groaned and lowered her head. "It's not that…look, he's a well-known nihilist. I don't want them to think that I'm backsliding, or anything."

"Backslide?" Gordon frowned and looked thoughtful for a moment. Then his eyes widened. "You had something to do with Sayori's suicide," he said. It wasn't by any means a question. Monika simply nodded.

"Like I said, I've done a lot of horrible things. Things I regret. I hate feeling regret, and I hate telling them how sorry I am, even though I mean it." Monika abruptly stood up and started out of the room. "And I'm done talking about this. See you at the wedding, Dr. Freeman. I'll make sure your gadget is fully reassembled by then. I mean, if you really want to, you can come out and gather the pieces yourself, but I can't promise Natsuki won't clobber you."

"Hey, you know what? I've already had enough of this ship and everyone on it. No offense," Gordon replied.

"None taken," Monika assured him, stopping at the doorway. "And, not that you owe me anything, but if I could ask a favor of you…not for myself, but for the person most precious to me…"

"Like what?" Gordon asked, sounding half-irritated and half-curious. He already had a strong suspicion what it would be, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't feel a little bad about indirectly causing her to cry. She was a sweet kid. She was sincerely nice, which was more than he could say for a lot of people he had met across the Multiverse.

"From what I understand, this loop will last a few months. We'll be on Remnant for a while. I would appreciate it if, at some point…it would mean a lot to me if you could find time to reach out to Sayori, at some point. Remind her that she shouldn't beat herself up over our horror-show of a Baseline. That's all. See you later, Doctor." With that, she left. A moment later, Gordon Freeman stepped through the portal, which closed behind him.

…

A few hours later, the Eternal Sunshine landed a few miles outside of Vale. They would have landed closer, or even somewhere in town, but Sayori had never added any kind of stealth module to the ship, and Monika wasn't sure they could pass it off as a strangely-designed airship. As it happened, despite them choosing an almost totally random landing spot, there was someone waiting for them there.

They were greeted by a familiar ginger-haired gynoid. "Salutations, Monika, Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki. It's wonderful to see you all again," said Penny with a (somewhat twitchy) smile.

The girls each gave Penny a hug. "Good to see you too, Penny," said Monika. "How'd you know we were going to land here?"

"I sent an observer drone into Remnant's upper atmosphere, to keep me appraised of incoming spacecraft," replied Penny. "Besides you, the Reds and Blues have also coming by ship." Her eyes unfocused as she stared miles deeply into the middle distance, before snapping back to the conversation, "As is a young Looper named Edison Trent."

"So, how much time do we have to get prepped for the big event?" asked Yuri.

"Oh, the actual wedding won't be for a few months yet," said Penny, "We still have quite a bit of prep-work–"

Then Natsuki shoved Monika to the side and stood at attention in front of Penny, saluting and everything. "Literature Club's Official Caterer Natsuki, reporting for duty! Ready and willing to put my heart and soul into helping with all matters confectionary! Point me to whoever's in charge of baking the cakes, ma'am!"

Yuri stepped up next to Natsuki, "I'm also willing to lend aid to the preparations; I know Remnant has a relatively high population of Loopers, but I imagine an event of this magnitude is still an all-hands-on-deck scenario. Not to brag, but aesthetics, interior design, and other atmospheric matters are a specialty of mine."

Sayori also stepped up, "We may be guests, but Blake is an honorary club member and this is her Big Day! Er, I mean, it's going to be. Soon-ish. I don't really know how I can be helpful…heh-heh…but I'll do whatever I can to help out!"

"Basically, what they said," said Monika, getting back up and dusting herself off with a pointed glare aimed at Natsuki. "Guests though we may be, you can consider we of the Looping Literature Club at your disposal."

Penny smiled at them all. "Well, in that case, you'll all want to talk to Weiss. She's the Organizer for the wedding, after all. But first, we have dedicated lodgings set up for off-world Loopers. You still have your Scrolls?" she asked, pulling out her own.

Monika nodded and Unpocketed a Scroll, and Penny sent her a set of co-ordinates. "You can't miss it," said Penny, "It's a…you know what? I'll let it be a surprise. Trust me, you'll know it when you see it."

"Welp, back on the Sunshine I guess," said Monika, as the four of them turned back to their ship.

Scene 2: Fear of God(ess).
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(Sailor Moon)
(By Masterweaver)

"Excuse me, Weiss!" Monika called as she walked up. "You're organizing all this, right? Me and the club are ready to..."

She trailed off as Weiss, and more importantly the person next to her, turned to look at them. The other girl had a short shoes and long legs. She wore a simple green skirt and pink shirt under a casually open jacket. Her long hair was blonde, with a red bow atop her head. And nothing was threatening about her friendly features, not even the blue eyes that zeroed in on her specifically with a bright smile.

But the girls didn't live with Natsuki without learning about the anime classics. And a looper didn't live in Yggdrasil without hearing about the original seven loops.

"...help," Monika finished with a squeak.

"That's quite thoughtful of you, thank you," Weiss said. "Oh, Monika, this is Minako Aino, of the Sailor Moon loops."

"H-h-hiiiiiiii..." The club president gave a weak wave and a smile.

"Minako, these are Monika, Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki, of the Doki Doki Literature club."

"Hey there!" said the girl cheerfully. "How are you doing?"

"Ju-just Moni-FINE!" Monika clasped her hands behind her back. "We're, we're doing fine, miss Aino-megamisama."

"Miss Aino-megamisama?" Natsuki said dryly. "That's a-"

Monika quickly sidestepped in front of her. "Incredibly appropriate title!"

Minako chuckled. "What, because I'm a love goddess?"

"Yes!" Monika agreed, nodding quickly. "That. And other, other things. Yes."

"Mmmhmm." Minako's eyes roved over to a small clearing. "Saw a modified Millennium Falcon land over there, was that yours?"

"Oh, yes," Sayori said with a smile. "The Eternal Sunshine. We were on Earth when we Woke Up and we didn't want to bother Penny, so-"

"You know, you could have just called us up," Minako said casually. "Me and the other Senshi. We're all Awake this loop."

"Really?" Monika said, her smile growing desperately broad. "All of you?"

"Yep. A quick sailor teleport could have gotten you here in a second."

"Well, you know, it was a club bonding experience," Yuri said.

"YES. That!" Monika nodded. "That is what it was. Friendship. Mutually friendly friendship."

"Always important," Minako said with a smile. "Hey, maybe we can talk after the wedding."

"I I I wouldn't want to be a bother miss Aino-megamisama," Monika said in a polite voice that was three octaves higher.

"Nonsense, it'll be great!" The girl flashed a peace sign and walked off. "I'll leave you with Weiss! Yoiichinichiwo!"

"Anata mo, Sērā Vīnasu!" Natsuki waved as she walked off, before turning to Monika. "What was that, Prez? You look like you're going to have a breakdown."

Monika stood very still, her face frozen in a rictus grin as she made a whining squeak.

"Oh shit-you actually are going to have a breakdown." Natsuki grabbed Monika's shoulders. "Monika, breathe. Breathe, it's okay. It's-Girls, help?"

Yuri rushed over. "Monika, it's alright. Minako won't hurt you."

"You... you're right," Monika said with a nod. "Maybe she's never played the game, maybe, maybe she doesn't know about our baseline, right?"

Sayori coughed. "Um. Actually... with my force sensitivity... I'm pretty sure she recognized you when she turned around."

Monika stopped breathing for all of five seconds.

Then Weiss stepped up, putting a pair of fingers to her forehead. Instantly, Monika went lax, almost falling into Natsuki and Yuri's arms.

"...ooooooh. Wow. Look aathasky, esobluuuuu..."

"Rather intense burst of Force Calm there," Sayori said flatly.

"Quite a bit of guilt-induced terror," Weiss countered.

"Saaaaaaaaayori. Ri, ri ri." Monika giggled. "Ri, yo, sa."

"What?" Natsuki asked, trying to ignore the girl nuzzling her shoulders. "What's Sailor Venus got to do with that?"

Weiss started counting off on her fingers. "Original seven, well known love goddess, friends with an expert on the mechanics of the soul, her name is an anagram of Monika's..."

"Riri bossss, caushethink. Kaywordssay... Nats. Nats, you have soft fluffies."

Weiss shook her head. "Given what went down in your four's baseline, I suspect she was expecting some form of retribution."

"That..." Yuri sighed. "That actually makes sense. Come on, let's get the president to bed. Weiss, um, can you get us some sort of job memo by tomorrow? We really do want to help."

"~Lisalwork to gefer!~" Monika sang, raising a finger. "~Lisalwork a loooot...~"

"I'll be more than ready, I assure you."

Scene 3: Ask The Experts
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(Sailor Moon)
(By me)

"Knock, knock-knock-knock-knock, knock-knock!"

"…did you just vocalize Two Bits?" asked Taiyang Xiao Long as he opened the door to his house.

Standing on the other side was a cartoonishly oversized picnic basket. Tai could smell the cookies hidden within. "Yeah, hands were full. May I come in, Mr. Xiao Long?" asked Sayori's voice from behind the basket.

"Ha, as if I could turn away a guest bearing cookies. C'mon in, kid, make yourself at home," said Tai, standing aside.

"Thanks," said Sayori, rushing inside and setting down the huge basket on the nearest available surface, which was a couch in the living room. Wiping off her forehead with the back of her hand, Sayori flopped down on the couch. "So, how's Yang holding up?"

"Well, we all know how anxious she is, but she's holding up a strong front for now," explained Tai, returning to his chair and picking up a newspaper, like the quintessential dad that he was. "Right now, Ruby, Cinder and one of the other visiting Loopers are entertaining her in her room. Some racing game."

"Thought I sensed Senpai on me way in," Sayori murmured. "Who's the other Looper?"

"The girl from that team of sailor superheroes, Mina Venus or something."

Sayori sat bolt-upright. "Minako's here? Awesome, I can catch two birds with one worm."

"Neat…wait, what?" asked Tai, furrowing his brow in confusion.

"I like collecting malaphors," Sayori explained as she hopped back up to her feet and levitated her stupid-sized basket of cookies. "They're my thing, like Yang with her paronomasias."

"You mean her puns?"

"In a sense, that's exactly what I just said," said Sayori with a smile as she headed for the stairs, basket floating along behind her.

Yang's door was open, and as Sayori poked her head in Minako was cheering her own victory while Yang was swearing vengeance. Cinder was lounging under the window with a scroll–the old paper kind, not the Remnant kind–and Ruby…was already glomped onto Sayori's floating basket. "Somnus," Cinder greeted without looking up.

"Heya Cognitia. Whatcha reading?" Sayori asked, directing her basket and its attached Ruby to settle down on Yang's bed.

"Some Ancient Eqyptian literotica Emerald picked up from the Lost Library of Alexandria," said Cinder.

"Neato," said Sayori, "You've got the same neutral smut-reading expression Yuri has." She sat down on the other side of the basket, which Ruby was already blissfully tearing into.

"I wouldn't call this 'smut' so much as thoroughly descriptive romance. They didn't just put everything written on papyrus in the Great Alexandrian Library, you know."

Sayori shrugged. "So it's fancy smut. Smut is smut. But anyways, I suck at seguing from small-talk to serious-talk, so I'm just going to come right out and say it; I need some advice on the subject of…romance."

Sayori blinked, and suddenly Ruby, Yang, and Minako were all crowding around her. Cinder deigned to look away from her scroll and regarded the younger Sith with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah. This is about the reaction I expected," said Sayori. "Well, I wasn't expecting Minako to be here when I came over, but I won't spit in a gift love goddess's eyes."

"…what?" asked Minako.

"She likes malaphors," said Cinder. "She's also a goofball weirdo. Pinkie Pie took her on as her apprentice for a reason."

"Ah," said Minako in tones of enlightenment.

"Well, what is it?!" squeaked Ruby, "Come on, quit leaving us in suspense!"

"Okay…so, there's this friend that I'd like to start dating–" Sayori began.

"OhmygodsisitMonika?!" Ruby squealed.

Sayori sighed. "Yeah…it's Monika."

Cinder raised her other eyebrow and sat up, while Minako and Yang exchanged worried looks. Ruby was grinning from ear to ear and making some kind of high-pitched keening noise.

"The problem, of course, is that Monika is stubborn as all get-out," Sayori huffed, glaring at her bangs. "Every time I try to broach the subject, she gets evasive. She'll tell me she has more important things to focus on, or she'll insist that she doesn't need romance in her life right now. And I know aromantics are a thing but I also know that Monika isn't one of them. She's every bit as lovesick as I am but most of the time she wants to pretend she isn't. And it isn't healthy, damn it! I just don't know how to make her see reason."

"Just tell her how you feel!" said Ruby, "If you're completely direct in your approach there's no way she can just ignore it."

"I've considered that angle, but I don't want to feel like I'm guilt-tripping her or making this all about me," Sayori explained as she pulled a mint cookie out of her basket and started nibbling on it.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Yang asked in a concerned tone. "I mean…"

Sayori rolled her eyes. "Yeah, trust me, I know better than anyone else possibly could what Monika is like as a person. The good, the bad, and the ugly. And despite my outwardly sanguine disposition, I'm not some naïve child. I realize Monika still has troubling tendencies, but she's also relentless in her quest for redemption. And as much fun as the four of us have as friends, Monika's still achingly lonely in a way that mere friendship, or even bestfriendship, alone can't satisfy. She needs someone she can be vulnerable around. Someone who can help her drop her guard. She's been pretending for thousands of thousands of loops that she's fine and that the only thing she cares about is making the rest of us happy but…that kind of attitude is horribly self-destructive. Again, I know that better than most. In fact, it's kind of scary that she's…well, she's acting like I used to. Like her own problems are trivial and don't matter. And I know that love doesn't actually fix everything, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be the worst place to start."

"You really care for her a lot, don't you?" Minako asked, her blue eyes shining as she intensely analyzed Sayori's expression.

Sayori gave the Sailor Senshi a hard look. "I know you and I don't really know each other, ma'am, but your knee-jerk reaction to seeing Monika the other day didn't escape my empathic senses. I've got a pretty good idea of what you think of her. And you know what? You're not wrong. Monika did awful things, and you're entitled to feel the way you feel about them. But she's not a monster. She's not even a sociopath. I've felt her toss and turn in her bed at night, her guilt tearing at her inside. She hates herself more than any of us could hate her, if we still did. And make no mistake, when all of this Looping business first started for us I was very angry at her. So angry I didn't know how to express it, so I did what I always do and pretended everything was okay. I've never told Monika what I thought of her, way back then, because since my very first loop she's done nothing but bend over backwards for us. She earned my friendship back, and it's not much of an exaggeration to say that I love her more than I love myself…sometimes. Which is why I desperately want to see her happy, or at least a little bit less in pain."

"Well damn," muttered Yang, wiping something out of her eye. She gave Sayori a grin. "I'm sold. You should go for it, kid."

"But how?!" Sayori groaned, flopping backwards on the bed. "She's totally incontinent on this issue."

"…I really hope you meant 'intransigent'," said Minako, sounding a little disgusted.

"Yeah, that's what I said," Sayori said in an absent tone.

"That's another thing she likes doing," said Cinder.

"Except that quirk is from Baseline. Sort of," Sayori added with a goofy grin. Then she went back to frowning. She blew at her bangs.

Minako seemed thoughtful, chewing on her lower lip. At length, she said, "Well…maybe she's just not interested?" she hedged.

"Of course she's interested in love," Sayori snorted, "It's half…well, maybe less than half, but at least a fifth of the reason she lost her mind in the first place. Either way, like I said I know what aromanticism is but it doesn't apply to Monika. She's as lonesome as I am, sometimes moreso."

Ruby sighed, "Yeah…but…Minako's got a point. She might not be willing to see you as more than a friend."

Sayori snorted again, but this time it was closer to a laugh. "What are you talking about? We're already more like sisters than like friends. I might even go as far as to say that she's the Weiss to my Ruby!"

"Um…I'm not sure I'm following you anymore," said Ruby. Yang and Minako were exchanging much more worried looks now, and while Cinder's expression was perfectly composed and placid, on the inside she was dying from holding in her laughter.

"I mean, I'd just outright call her my bestest best friend if it weren't for Hiroaka…I mean, if he never comes back and starts Looping I guess she is, functionally at least, my bestest best friend…but that's just a whole complicated thing. Either way, we all know that I'm her bestest best friend, and as her bestest best friend and her second-in-command I absolutely refuse to let her languish in her lovesickness! I'll find someone for Monika even if I have to scour all of Yggdrasil!" she vowed, jumping up and balancing on top of her basket, shaking a fist at the heavens.

"…so, just so we're all on the same page…you weren't talking about having a crush on Monika?" asked Ruby.

At first, Sayori didn't react at all. Then she made a puzzled frown, as if just now catching on that someone had said something off. Then her expression became one of dawning horror. "Wait, you…oh gods NO! Nononononono, HELL no, no way…oh, I need some air," Sayori groaned, looking a little green around the mouth. She jumped over to the window–Cinder quickly scooting aside to avoid getting bowled over–and threw it open. "Why, in a bazillion years, would you ever think that I…" Sayori trailed off, mentally rewinding and going over exactly what she had said to begin with. Then she facepalmed, hard. "Okay. When I said I had a friend that I would like to start dating, I meant I would like her to start dating, not that I wanted to date her. That's why I said I had a friend that I'd like to start dating, rather than a friend whom I'd like to start dating. Still, I acknowledge that this was all due to poor wording on my part."

"No dip," Yang muttered.

"And for the record, not that I thought it really needed to be put into words, but Monika and I are definitely one of the top twenty couples that should never ever never happen, ever," Sayori said emphatically. "That's like…okay, I'm not going to compare it to Tauradonna, because that's way worse, but that'd be like if Amber started Looping and developed feeling for Cinder. No offense, Senpai."

"None taken," Cinder replied immediately.

"I thought you said–" Minako started.

"I've forgiven her, yes, and she's one of my best friends, but I can't ever forget what happened," Sayori insisted, "I may be a little bit desperate myself, but I'll never be desperate enough to make out with the woman that made me dance the hemp fandango!" She frowned, then snapped, "Damn it, I didn't mangle that metaphor." Shaking her head, she added, "Also, I'm straight. I know a lot of Loopers gradually evolve into pansexuals out of sheer boredom, but at least for now I'm still very much comfortable with my boring heterosexuality. Bizarre loops where I Wake Up in Yuri's bed notwithstanding."

"Aww, but you'd be so cu–"

"No, Ruby, no we wouldn't," Sayori snapped, "There will never, ever, be anything okay about that image."

"Wait, don't your friends ship the two of you?" Yang spoke up, "I'm pretty sure I remember hearing them talk about it."

"Yes, and Monika and I let them because we hope that in the course of trying to get us together they might realize their own massive mutual crush on each other," Sayori groaned, "Which, I'll admit, is kind of a long game, but so far none of our efforts to get them to confess to each other have panned out so it's better than nothing."

"…you four have a really weird group dynamic," Minako observed.

"Yes. Yes we do. That's how you can tell we're family," Sayori replied, the corners of her mouth quirking.

"So…you came her for advice on how to convince the person you claim to know better than anyone else that she should start dating?" Minako asked in summary.

"Well, you're a love goddess, Ruby's a matchmaking expert, Cinder's got a much more manipulative personality than I do so I guess she could point out some angle I haven't thought of," explained Sayori, "And Yang's…very successful, romantically?" she hedged.

"Well, that last bit is certainly true. We wouldn't all be sharing this loop if that weren't the case," Cinder remarked wryly.

"Ayyy," said Yang, throwing up her thumbs.

"Also, I've been meaning to talk to Venus here about 'The Monika Thing', so two stones in a bush and all that," Sayori added.

"Is it weird that her…malaphors?…are starting to make sense to me?" asked Ruby.

"I think people should use them more often. On purpose, that is; a lot of malaphors are accidental. They make conversations a lot more fun! They're like the mystery-flavored suckers of linguistics," Sayori chirped.

"Okay, what kind of idiom was that?" asked Minako.

"A Sayori-ism," quipped Cinder.

"So any suggestions?" asked Sayori. She turned to Yang, "How'd you and Blake get together? She seems like the sort who would have been a tough safe to crack."

Yang snorted. "Actually, she was the one that made a move on me. After I'd given her a heartwarming spiel about how I didn't blame her for her evil stalker dismembering me, but still. She was the one that launched the S.S. Bumblebee."

"Oh…Ruby?"

"Despite the shift in context, I stand by my original assessment," replied the Anchor, "Corner Monika and spill your guts to her. Make her understand how worried you are about this. It's not guilt-tripping or manipulation if you're just telling her how worried you are and how much you want her to find happiness."

"That's sound advice in general, but her guilt complex might complicate things," Minako observed, "I'd have to get to know Monika better before I could offer any truly helpful advice. And to do that, she'd have to stop hyperventilating around me."

"Yeah, that's next on my to-do list," said Sayori. She turned to Cinder, who had taken a seat on the bed and helped herself to a macaroon. "Senpai?"

"Why do you keep calling her that?" Minako asked curiously.

"She's pseudo-Japanese and a younger Looping Sith Lady," Cinder explained. "Actually, I think she started the Senpai thing just to annoy Emerald."

"She's a rival of Monika's, so I'm just a little bit obligated to harmlessly pick on her," Sayori reasoned, "And also it's funny."

"Pseudo-Japanese?" asked Minako.

"Baseline, I'm a video game character that was made by Americans, so even though my name is Japanese-ish–it's not even a real Japanese name, it's a mash-up of two Japanese names the creator liked–I'm not really a Japanese person."

"Huh."

"So do you have any ideas, Cinder?" Sayori asked.

Cinder shrugged, "Well, if it were me, I'd just put Monika in tempting situations until her own sexual tension makes her crack. No one's resolve is unbreakable. And you've got the Force on your side, you can always use it to erode her willpower. Once you get her to cave on the physical side of things, it's only a matter of time before she gives up avoiding the emotional part. Assuming, of course, that you're right about her secretly longing for romance."

Sayori groaned, "You are sooooo…" she suddenly went silent. She blinked, and then her eyes widened.

"…I'm not liking what I'm sensing over here, Somnus," said Cinder cagily. "Because I'm not sensing anything. The only time you close yourself off is when you're actively trying to scheme. And, no offense Young One, but your "schemes" tend to be somewhat…haphazard at best."

Sayori stood up. "Cinder, you've given me a lot to think about," Sayori said in a flat, controlled tone of voice. "And I appreciate the rest of you girls' contributions. Please, enjoy the rest of the cookies. Have a good day."

She left the room, and the house, without another word.

Scene 4: A Humble Request.
(DDLC)/(RWBY)
(By me)

As crowded a place as it was, Kuo Kuana wasn't a town you would necessarily describe as 'quiet'. Sure, there was no "big city hustle and bustle", but the sheer density of the local populace ensured a respectable ambient noise level. However, this noise level was also fairly consistent. From the beginning to the end of the work day, there was a fairly uniform background of hubbub. A hubbub that didn't entirely fade away after dusk, but did drop noticeably as there weren't quite as many nocturnal Faunus as there were diurnal. All in all, sudden disruptive up-spikes in noise, while not being unheard of, were pretty irregular.

So everyone noticed the pair of human girls on the motorcycle (a purple Kawasaki Ninja H2R, to be specific) that roared up from the beach and tore down the main street towards the Belladonna house. Eyewitness accounts would later swear on their deity of choice that they had seen the motorcycle driving across the ocean. Driving the bike was a woman wearing purple, with a long, purple ponytail streaming out of an equally purple helmet. Sitting behind her was a shorter woman wearing pink.

The driver hit the brakes and popped a stoppie right in front of the steps leading up to imposing manor. As they had practiced, the shorter girl stood up and sprang off of the bike as the rear end lifted, catapulting her right to the door. Just as Kali Belladonna was stepping outside to see what that infernal roaring had been. The Faunus matron jumped back when the small, pink-haired human superhero-landed right in front of her.

Natsuki stood up with a grin and removed her helmet. "Heya, Missus B. Is Blake here?" she asked.

"Yes, she is," Kali affirmed, smiling, "And she's getting pretty stir-crazy, so I'm sure she would appreciate a visitor." She stepped to the side and beckoned Natsuki to enter.

Natsuki called back over her shoulder, "Thanks for the lift, Yuri!"

Yuri, her face still hidden by the helmet, raised two fingers in a silent salute before kickstarting her bike and taking off back towards the sea.

"Was that your girlfriend, Natsuki?" Kali asked her as she entered.

"Just because I was riding bitch on her bike doesn't make me her…girlfriend…no, we're not dating. Or anything remotely similar," Natsuki grumbled, faintly blushing.

"Ah. Pardon my mistake," Kali said in a knowing tone. Natsuki just rolled her eyes, but said nothing further. She didn't feel like giving Kali a hard time. She was cool people.

Kali led Natsuki to a table where Blake and Ilia appeared to be playing Go Fish. No, wait, they were throwing cards down into a pile. War, maybe? Either way, they both looked bored as hell. So Natsuki felt no qualms about interrupting their game. "Heya, Blakey. Sup?" Natsuki greeted as she plopped herself down at the table.

Blake smiled at her, "Hey, Natsuki. You here on wedding business, or is this a social call?"

"Well I don't have anything important to do today, so I've got no problem hanging out for the day. But I do have one, kind of super-important wedding-related thing to talk to you about…and kind of personal, too."

Blake sat up straighter, her ears twitching. Natsuki's posture was apprehensive. Vulnerable, even. That was unusual. Like Yang, Blake knew, Natsuki liked to maintain a strong front at all times. Blake wouldn't call her "Strength", though. She wasn't that much like Yang. She was…Blake didn't want to say she was weak on the inside…if she had to pick a word to sum up Natsuki, she'd have to go with..."feisty" was a good one.

Sensing personal feelsy stuff coming up, Ilia stood up and said, "'Scuse me, gotta go…powder my…freckles?" Then she slipped out of the room with ninja-like-tread.

"So what's on your mind?" asked Blake, folding her arms on the table and leaning forward.

Natsuki took a deep breath, and she started ticking off her fingers, "I've been a rat, I've been a bat, I've been a boy, I've been a pony, I've been a Majin, I've been a Magical Girl, I've been an oni…but more than all of the above put together, I've been some kind of cat. I've been a housecat, I've been all kinds of wild cats, I've been all different kinds of catgirl about a thousand times. And last time I was on Remnant, I was a Faunus. At this point, I think I may as well embrace the fact that I'm…I don't know, at least half-catgirl, in the Loops. I mean, even way back before I started Looping I always thought of cats as my spirit animal or whatever…aw crap, I'm rambling!" Natsuki groaned, facepalming.

"Relax," Blake said gently, "Just tell me what's on your mind."

Natsuki took another breath. "Sorry. I'm making this awkward. It's just…in some worlds, being a catgirl or some other kind of non-human isn't a big deal. It's like, "oh, hey, a magical creature. Neat." And if Remnant was one of those worlds, I wouldn't be so worked up about this. But on this world being a Faunus is a big deal, and you're not just some random person either. You're our friend, and an honorary club member, and I don't…I don't want to offend you, or anything. So, I just wanted to ask you if you'd be okay with me…" Natsuki's voice suddenly dropped and she trailed away into a mumble too low for Blake to hear.

"I'm sorry, what? I didn't catch that," she told the shorter girl.

Natsuki blushed. "Iwannatendyorwedingasafaunus…" she quickly mumbled.

"Huh? What was–"

"I want to attend your wedding as a Faunus!" Natsuki said in a strangled shout, as if trying to shush herself. Then her whole face turned beet red and she squeaked, "Pretty please?"

Blake blinked. "You…want to attend my wedding as a Faunus?"

Apparently no longer trusting her voice, Natsuki rapidly bobbed her head up and down. Natsuki's whole body seemed to flicker, and then her hands were replaced by fluffy pink cat paws. Blake glanced down at them, and blinked again. "You kept an imprint of your Faunus body? After just one loop?"

Natsuki leaned back and stared at the ceiling. "Like I said, I've been a ton of different kinds of catgirls. Apparently because I have a cat-like personality, the first syllable of my name rhymes with "cat", and the Multiverse is run by a stupid tree that's addicted to shitty puns!" Natsuki said, suddenly shouting the last part and death-glaring at the ceiling. She huffed and blew at her bangs. "But it's whatever, I guess. I put up with it. Not like I've got much choice. I'm not even going to try guessing how many cat loops the Tree has put you through."

"But you liked being a Faunus?" Blake asked, feeling slightly confused.

"Heck yeah!" said Natsuki, lifting her arms and stretching them. "Faunus are cool. They're not just people with animal bits tacked on. Like I said, in this world being a Faunus matters. Faunus get shit on by humans for being different, like all the time. Before I started Looping, I got picked on for being different too. And that's part of what being a Faunus is. Like Monika would say, that's the reality they have to live in. And that impacts the kind of people they are. That kind of reality creates no-fucks-giving, no-shit-taking badasses like you, and your parents, and Ilia, and Velvet, and S…hmm. I mean, Sun is cool and all, but I don't know if he meets my personal criteria for 'badass'. But that's beside the point. You get what I'm getting at, right?"

"I think so," said Blake thoughtfully, glancing away into the middle distance. "You're more or less indifferent to 'normal' catgirls, because there isn't much substance to them beyond having some feline features. Faunus, on the other hand, are personally affected by their difference from humans, and you respect them for the strength of character this gives them. You feel like you have an affinity with us."

A half-carved block of wood appeared on the table in front of Natsuki, which she picked up and started etching into with her claws. "Pretty much, yeah. Like I said, part of my backstory–which isn't an actual past so much as it is programming from my Baseline–is that my father and my classmates judged me for…well, for being a manga geek, basically. And for liking things that they wrote off as 'childish' or 'cute'. No one takes you seriously when you're 'just a cute, little kid'. And that stuff usually follows me into other loops, naturally." Her expression darkened, and she started tearing bigger divots out of the wood.

"Our last loop here," she continued, "I was the only Faunus in the village I grew up in, because my mom fucked off when I was little and left me with a racist asshole. Apparently she was one of those Faunus that could easily pass for human. Me, not so much, which was probably why she ditched me. And as is usual for me, my dad was cruel and…anyways, one night he tried to declawme, so I messed him up, so he kicked me out. I became the village beggar. But Sayori and Yuri were there for me, of course." Natsuki gave a dark chuckle, "I remember Monika and I didn't get along at first, because she was Atlesian and she was used to looking down on people like me. But Sayori, miracle worker that she is, warmed us up to each other. Then our village got hit by the Grimm. I was a scrawny little malnourished Faunus girl with no combat training. But I kept up with the others and we got out of there safe. No one had to carry my weight, you know? And that was before we all Woke Up. So all that badass was Faunus-Natsuki. Faunsuki, if you will. I don't think I've ever been more proud of an Unawake-me." By now Natsuki had forced a smile on her face. All that was left of her wood block was shreds, which she put back in her Pocket.

"So…what you're telling me is that in your last loop here, you were proud to be a Faunus," Blake surmised with a soft smile.

"Pretty much," Natsuki confirmed, scratching the side of her face. "I wanted to make sure it was okay with you, first. I want you to understand that I don't take this lightly."

Blake smiled and ruffled Natsuki's hair, causing her to shrink in on herself and let out a startled squeak. "As long as your motivation comes from respect for the Faunus and pride in being associated with us, I don't mind. I'm actually a little flattered that you think so highly of being a Faunus. It's sweet of you. Reminds me of how I feel about being an adopted Uchiha."

"I have no idea how you feel comfortable around that guy," Natsuki said with a sigh. "I mean, he's really cool and all but he is scary. I met him once, a couple hundred years ago, and I've still got the heeby-jeebies."

"Sasuke is pretty intense," Blake conceded. "He just takes getting used to is all. And you might have caught him on a bad loop." She stood up and stretched herself out. "I'm going to make some tea, y–"

"Yes please!" exclaimed Natsuki, jumping back up to her feet.

…

Natsuki followed Blake into the kitchen, where Kali appeared to be heating something in a small saucepan. While Blake fetched the tea set from the cupboards, Natsuki sidled up next to Kali. "Whatcha cookin', good-lookin'?" she asked as she peeked in the pan. "Wait, is that milk?"

"It is," Kali confirmed, "The old sweet tooth is itching, so I'm making some basundi. You want some, Natsuki?"

"It'll be a cold day in heck when I turn down a sweet treat, ma'am," Natsuki replied with a grin.

"I'll have some too, Mom," Blake spoke up as she filled the tea kettle with water.

"What happened to your hands?!" asked Ilia's voice from somewhere above. Natsuki looked up, and found her sitting on top of the refrigerator, right on the edge. Because of course she was.

"My…oh, yeah. Switched 'em out of for my Faunus paws," said Natsuki, holding up her paws and wiggling her fingers.

Ilia just stared at her. Natsuki stared back. After a moment, the awkward silence was broken by the sound of crickets chirping. Which was followed by Blake speaking up, trying not to laugh, "Mom, knock it off." The chirping dropped off, replaced by Kali snickering.

"Why?" Ilia finally asked.

"Why what?" Natsuki asked back, "Why is my Faunus trait cat paws?" She shrugged, "Hell if I know, I didn't pick 'em. The Tree does what the Tree does, y'know?"

"No, why did you change your hands into paws?" Ilia asked.

"Because they're my–oh, right, you weren't in the room. I'm going to the wedding as Faunus-me," Natsuki explained, folding her paws behind her head.

"No, I heard you ask about that," said Ilia, "I mean why–"

"Hey, if we're going to make a whole conversation out of this, could you come down here please? My neck's getting stiff."

"Oh, sorry." Ilia slipped down to the floor, and wasted no time picking back up on her train of thought. "Why would you trade hands for paws? That's kind of a step down in terms of usefulness, isn't it?"

Natsuki frowned and cocked her head. "You mean…why not go with cat ears, or a tail, so I can keep my thumbs?" she asked.

"Yeah. Thumbs are pretty useful, you know," Ilia observed.

"You make a fair point," Natsuki admitted, "But the paws are what made me Faunus-Natsuki. Any other cat trait would just make me Catsuki. And while being Catsuki does make napping a lot more enjoyable…somehow…it's also just Yggdrasil having pun at my expense yet again. Catsuki is a joke. Faunsuki, on the other paw, was a boss."

"I…I…ah…Blake, can you translate that?" Ilia asked, glancing over at her adopted sister.

Blake, waiting for her water to boil, was sitting cross-legged on the counter with a book in hand. "Catsuki is for her what Nyan-Blake is for me; just another annoying meme. Faunsuki, however, is for her what Kuroko Uchiha is for me; something to be proud of," she explained concisely without taking her eyes off her book.

"Okay," Ilia said slowly, "Okay, fair enough, but…I don't get it, she's giving up her thumbs just to make a point? Isn't that kind of like shooting yourself in the foot to make a race more interesting?"

"HA!" Natsuki suddenly threw her head back and shouted, making Ilia jump back. "Giving up their thumbs might handicap your average mook, but for a pro like myself it's no big deal at all!"

'Nope, she's not "Feisty". She's "Pride",' Blake decided.

"But…I don't…it doesn't bother you at all that you're throwing away a part of yourself?!" asked Ilia, who felt certain there was something deeply wrong with this but unsure how to put it into words.

"Huh?" Natsuki looked confused. "Why? I can get them back whenever. Do you cry over getting your hair cut?"

"Of course not, but that's hardly the same thing as losing my thumbs."

Natsuki stared at the chameleon girl. She raised her paws, which blinked back into hands. Then she switched them back again. "Wow, what a horrific loss," she deadpanned, "I really don't get what the big deal is."

"Look, it's great you relate to the Faunus and all, but what you're doing here is tantamount to mutilating yourself just to fit in," Ilia said evenly, folding her arms.

"Hold up, you've got it twisted," Natsuki said, holding up her paws like 'whoa'. "Yuri is the self-mutilator, depending on how you define "mutilation". I'm the badass of the group."

"I'm sorry, but what?" Kali spoke up from the side, looking shocked. "What do you mean, Yuri's a self-mutilator?"

Natsuki abruptly looked uncomfortable. "Aw, crap…that's why we usually don't bring that up…" She turned to Kali, "Okay, so, you know how Yuri has a thing for knives?"

Kali nodded.

"Yeah…well, she's got a thing for knives," Natsuki explained somewhat cagily. Kali's eyes widened. "Wait! That makes it sound a lot worse than it is–"

"No, duh," Blake remarked dryly as her tea kettle started whining. She Pocketed her book and slipped off of the counter to take it off the stove.

"Yuri? That tall, quiet friend of yours? Are you saying she…she…" Ilia didn't seem to be able to finish the sentence.

"She's a cutter, yes, it's a whole thing with her, and it weirds the rest of us out too but it really isn't as bad as…" she trailed off at the sight of Kali and Ilia's increasingly horrified expressions. "Gyah! I suck at this," Natsuki hissed under her breath. She inhaled deeply. "Alright, look, chill out, both of you. It's not a big deal. I promise you."

"Natsuki," Kali spoke up gently, "I realize that for Loopers like us, death and permanent injury are…marginalized, but self-harm is still a very serious problem. It's not something to trivialize."

"I'm not, I get it, trust me, I know how you guys feel about your bodies and stuff, but we're not–we're different, you can't really put us in the same frame as normal–fuck, I'm starting to sound like Yuri," Natsuki groaned.

"Relax, Nat," said Blake, having put four steaming cups on a tray. "C'mon, let's sit at the table and you can explain it from the top."

"Can't you?" Natsuki whined as she followed Blake into the other room, past a still-stricken-looking Kali.

"Hey, you broke it, you fix it. And I only sort-of understand it myself," said Blake.

A moment later found Blake, Kali, Ilia, and Natsuki seated around the table, each with a cup tea steeping in front of them. Kali and Ilia both looked very concerned, and Natsuki looked awkward and couldn't stop fidgeting. Blake just sat back and observed the proceedings with a neutral expression.

Natsuki took a deep breath. "Okay, so…you need to understa–crap, wait, no. Monika always says to lead with "I" messages, not "you" messages," she muttered, recalling her president's advice on persuasive speaking. "Okay, so…I'm not actually a Faunus, obviously. Not in my baseline at least. But the thing is, I'm not a human being either. And Monika, Sayori, and Yuri aren't, either. In baselines, we aren't any kind of member of the animal kingdom at all."

"What do you mean?" Kali asked.

"Remember when Ruby told us about their game?" Blake spoke up. "Yeah, that game isn't just the form their Hub back-up takes. That game is their actual baseline. They're video game characters."

"And not complicated ones from some hi-tech futuristic VR game, either," Natsuki sighed, Unpocketing several pictures of herself in different poses, a small stack of papers stapled together with writing on them, and a music box onto the table in front of her. Natsuki planted one paw on top of the music box, pinched the key between the knuckles of her other paw, and thusly winded it. When she opened it, it started playing music. "This, right here? These pictures, these words, this background music?" said Natsuki, waving her paw over them. "This is my baseline form. That's all that I was, before I inexplicably started Looping."

"I don't get it," Ilia said bluntly, while Kali seemed lost in thought.

"You guys know what visual novels are, right?" Natsuki asked. They both nodded. "You know what 'dating simulators' are?" More nods. "Well, that's the kind of game I'm from. I wasn't a sophisticated artificial intelligence construct with a programmed personality or anything cool like that. I was just a collection of sprites and lines of text with a leitmotif, all of which popped up on screen in response to the player's choices in accordance with the game's script. I wasn't even a person at all, just a concept that the game painted in the player's imagination. We all were. There wasn't anything more to us than that. Until Monika became real."

Natsuki stopped to take a sip from her tea, carefully holding the cup between her paws. Then she continued, Kali and Ilia leaning forward a little. "To this day, none of us have any idea how it happened. Not even Monika herself. But she became real. Became aware of the world outside of the game…or at least that there was a world outside of the game. Hell, that there was even a game. Then, she started Looping. Then, somehow, even though none of us had minds of our own, we all became Loopers as well. None of us realized we weren't human, though, until we actually became human for the first time, in our first Fused Loop. It was weird, but it was amazing…and then, when we went back to our own Loop, that was when…well, for me at least, that was when it finally sunk in."

Natsuki sat her tea down, and stared at her reflection in it for a moment. "I may look human, and act like a human, but I'm not. Monika, Sayori, Yuri, and I. We're not…meat-people like you all. We're AIs, more akin to Penny, or Church. So…our bodies aren't a part of us they way your bodies are part of you." She tapped her paw against the side of her head. "All that we are is up here. In our own world, our bodies are just avatars we use to express ourselves. In fleshy-loops, they're meatsuits. We aren't too deeply attached to them. So, for example, if one of us was to…say, lose a limb? That's some traumatic shit for a normal person, as I know you guys are well aware."

Blake nodded. "Can confirm, people don't like getting amputated."

"You grow up with your bodies. They change over time, but they're still your bodies. They're a part of how you are, so when you suffer a permanent physical injury it affects you on a psychological level. Losing an arm fucks you up pretty bad. If I were to lose an arm? I'd be pissed, and annoyed, and possibly embarrassed, and definitely in a lot of pain. Then I'd turn to Monika or Sayori and be like, "Hey, can you fix this real quick? I was in the middle of something." For me, or the others, losing a body part isn't like losing part of ourselves so much as…losing a swimsuit at the waterpark. It's humiliating and awkward, but easily fixed. In a digital world, Monika can code us a replacement. In a material world, Sayori's got fully-automated cyber-prosthetics for every contingency. In a Null Loop, or if one of them isn't available? Well, that's a bummer, but oh well. No point getting all worked up over it. Shit happens."

Kali and Ilia exchanged a look, clearly not entirely convinced. Blake just sipped her tea and observed.

"And obviously I don't mean to trivialize what happened to Yang," Natsuki added, "I just picked that example because I knew it was something you guys could use to give context to the situation."

"Of course," said Blake. "Something Monika taught you, right? Use examples your audience can relate to?"

"Anyways…suppose that one loop, Penny decided to swap out one of her hands for, say, a Buster Cannon. Or if Church decided to spend a Loop as a tank. That's about how big a deal it is for me to trade hands for paws. My physical form, whatever it may be, is essentially clothing to me. Same goes for the others. So in this context, Yuri's…habit…is like…I don't know, putting rips in your jeans or whatever. Yes, self-harm is serious business. For fleshies. Because there's a connection between mind and body, so one affects the other. For us, the body is just a tool for interacting with the world outside of our heads. And that's it. Yuri is obsessed with physical sensation, and because pain feels good to her…yeah, I can't say I like it, but what Yuri does to herself is her business."

"That's an extremely negligent way to deal with it," Kali spoke up, her voice quivering.

"And if we were human you'd be right," Natsuki agreed without issue, "But we aren't. We're…us. I hate to be the one waving the "we're just different" card, but you really can't hold us to the same psychological standards as yourselves. Our mental/physical disconnect breaks that mold real quick."

"You guys don't act anything like AIs, though," said Ilia, remembering the AIs she had met when she replaced South Dakota.

"Yeah, well, not all AIs are all 'beep, boop, does not compute.' Look at Church. He's just a regular dude that happens to be a computer program," Natsuki said, waving one of her paws in the air dismissively. "We have a "when in Rome" policy. Around humans, we just don't bring up the AI thing. If we meet other AIs, we bring it up as an icebreaker. Like, "ones and zeroes, am I right, dude? Ell-oh-ell." I think Monika's the only one of us that actually has any…AI Pride, I guess? She's Replaced other AIs in other Loops, a lot more often than the rest of us. And in most of those Loops, there's a whole racial thing with Synthetic lifeforms. Like how it is with Faunus here on Remnant."

Ilia leaned back on her arms and stared upwards. Kali, by contrast, stared down at her lap and rubbed her head. Natsuki sighed.

"Look. I get that it's weird, that isn't lost on me. But this is part of our reality. Monika's a lot better at explaining this crap than I am. I like keeping things simple, but this isn't something you can easily simplify."

"No, I think I get it," Ilia said suddenly, "But then, if your bodies are really so…immaterial to you, then again, why the paws?"

"Symbolism," Natsuki said plainly, putting 'herself' back in her Pocket and replacing it with a blank sheet of paper and a pen, which she held between her knuckles. Then, with surprising speed, she started drawing. "A show of solidarity. But mostly…I guess I just look up to Blake a lot. That's all."

Ilia looked at Natsuki, then at Blake, then back at Natsuki. "Huh. Really?"

"Yeah! She's a total fucking ninja, and she kicks ass with cute kitty ears on her head and doesn't take anyone's crap," Natsuki said excitedly, still drawing, "She's the coolest!"

"Well yeah, no argument there," Ilia said quickly, "I just thought…you seem more like someone who would idolize Yang, if anything."

Natsuki wrinkled her nose. "Ehh…Yang's cool too, I guess, but she doesn't have Blake's chill. And she's too…pun-happy. I've suffered no end of grief from puns in the loops. And she's way too showboat-y. No modesty at all."

Blake died a little inside, heroically restraining herself from laughing out loud at that. She hid her amused smile by taking a long drink from her tea. She noticed her mother doing the same.

"But you…never mind," said Ilia.

"So, any more questions?" Natsuki asked, laying her pencil down and holding up her drawing for the others to see. It was a comic-style sketch of Blake and Natsuki in samurai armor action-posing back-to-back, Blake with Gambol Shroud and Natsuki with a kanabo. It was no masterpiece, but it was astonishingly well-done for someone with no thumbs. "Why the shocked looks? I told you, a real pro doesn't let a little thing like not having thumbs stop her from being raw awesome. I am a full metric ton of badass stuffed into a 95 pound meat-bun. Ya dig?"

"Alright, fine, I get it," Ilia groaned, "Obviously you've practiced extensively for this."

"Duh. A pro doesn't half-ass important stuff. That's what makes her a pro," Natsuki said emphatically. Then she frowned and sniffed. "Anybody else smell something bur–"

"MY BASUNDI!" Kali screamed, jumping over the table and dashing into the kitchen.

Natsuki turned to the other two. "So…anybody up for charades?"

Scene 5: Not Exactly A Cakewalk
(DDLC)/(RWBY)
(By me)

"Okie-doki-doki, Weiss; I don't doubt that whoever you've put in charge of baking is more than equal to the task, but there's no such thing as too much help for a confectionary endeavor on this scale," said Natsuki as she marched–nay, strutted–up to the duly appointed Wedding Organizer. "So, who should I report to, to lend a helping hand?"

"Oscar and Neo are in charge of catering; Neo's the baker," replied Weiss without looking away from the holographic display to which she was making minute adjustments.

Natsuki's bombastic grin faltered somewhat, and she felt a tiny prickle of cold in her gut. "I'm sorry, did you say Oscar and Neon?" she asked, a just-barely perceptible edge of desperation to her voice. Sure, on one hand it didn't make a whole lot of sense to have a non-Looper bake for a Looper Wedding, but on the other hand Natsuki thought that even Neon Katt must be a more sensible choice than that person.

"No, Oscar and Neo," Weiss reaffirmed to Natsuki's dismay, "Neopolitan Torchwick, remember? You met her your last loop here, didn't you?"

"Yes…yes I did…" Natsuki said hollowly, staring thousands of yards into the middle distance.

Weiss glanced at her, smiling a little. "Not a fan, I take it? Well, I won't hold it against you. Neo isn't the kind of person anyone is expected to get along with. If you're still set on lending a hand, I'm sure we can figure out a different–"

"Absolutely not!" Natsuki abruptly exclaimed, raising and clenching a fist. "I swore to devote all of my skill and passion to baking the best damned cakes I've ever baked, just for this wedding! A classy ninja-lady like Blake Belladonna deserves nothing less than the absolute best of the best that the Multiverse has to offer. And that's my baking, you hear me?!" Weiss raised an eyebrow as Natsuki started emitting a burning shonen battle aura. A bright pink one, to be specific. And it wasn't just a visual gag, either, Weiss soon realized. Natsuki's aura was, in fact, steadily intensifying, and raw power was starting to radiate from her. And if the Eldest Of All Schnees was not mistaken, there was pale-pink steam raising from the short girl's skin.

"But if I'm to do my best work alongside a demon like Neopolitan, she who's as disgusting a person as she is phenomenal a sweets-maker, then the power of a human or Faunus Natsuki will suffice!" Natsuki carried on. "I'm left with no choice but to assume my ultimate form, my Absolute Last Resort Trump Card, the terrible power I swore only to use to confront the most dire of challenges! And I can't think of any challenge more dire than working alongside a psycho that I'm not already friends with…VERILY! This demands nothing less than my most potent Secret Ability!"

Weiss had Unpocketed a bag of popcorn and held it out towards Natsuki. It was fully popped in short order, and she popped a few of the salty popped kernels into her mouth while she nonchalantly observed Natsuki's spectacle of hot-blooded-ness. She was definitely steaming all over by now, her aura was blazing a dark magenta, and the air around her was vibrating with her terrible power.

Then Natsuki exploded into a cloud of pink mist.

The mist quickly coalesced into a doughy, humanoid figure, which bubbled and churned before resolving itself into the great, the terrible, the mighty…Majin Natsuki.

Even by Majin standards, her skin was an intense shade of pink. She was now wearing a pair of white parachute pants, yellow boots and gloves, and a black vest with yellow trim over a bandage-wrapped chest. The sclera of her eyes were black and the irises pink, and she had not one, but two antennae that stood straight up and rather resembled rabbit ears. She glanced up, frowned, and scrunched up her face in concentration; the antennae shrank down and widened into triangular lumps, before flattening into an unmistakable pair of pink cat ears.

"I promised Blake, Yang, Ruby, and Monika all that I wouldn't start any fights this loop…but if Neo wants to start anything, this form gives me the most options for putting up with her nonsense." She nodded decisively, to herself it would seem, and then disappeared in a flicker.

…

An hour and a half or so later, Monika came around. "Um, Weiss? Has Natsuki been through here?" she asked, "Sayori and I wanted to get her opinion on something."

"She went to help Neo with the baking," replied Weiss, who was using her Scroll's calculator for some logistics work.

"…I'm sorry, did you say Neo? As in 'Roman Torchwick's Charmingly Sociopathic, Sadistic, Possibly Nymphomaniacal Little Ice Cream Girl' Neo?"

"The one and only," Weiss replied casually. "Then she made an anime speech and transformed into a Majin before she left. That was over an hour ago, and seeing as there's nothing on social media about half of Vale burning down, either they're getting along or they're at least being discreet." Weiss glanced up, and saw that Monika had already departed. And with great haste, judging by the gust of wind she had felt.

…

Monika burst into the kitchen, and boggled at the sight before her. Natsuki, indeed in her Majin form, was bouncing around the room trying to tag Neo with ki blasts or her kanabo, which her time on Remnant had inspired her to add chaingun, grenade launcher, and flamethrower elements to. Neo was also running and jumping and generally parkouring all over the place, retaliating with a freeze ray in one hand and some kind of contraption that fired rapidly spinning beaters in the other. She also kept switching one of her weapons out, presumably into her Pocket, for her umbrella to use as a shield against anything she couldn't dodge.

Despite the on-going conflict, they both periodically stopped to grab something out of a cupboard or a refrigerator, or to add something to one of several bowls full of different kinds of batter scattered across the counterspace. Strangest of all, however, was that occasionally one of them would stop at a bowl, realize that the other one had whatever they needed, call for it, and the other one would comply. A bunch of timers went off in rapid succession, and Natsuki and Neo literally dropped their weapons to grab cakes, cupcakes, muffins, and other assorted confections (but mostly cakes) out of ovens, place them on counters, pour batter into pans, pop them in ovens, and set fresh timers. Then they'd grab their weapons and get right back to it. Monika could only assume the ovens were specially modified with insulation against all the shockwaves. In fact, despite the level of ham they were going, the kitchen around them seemed to suffer little-to-no collateral damage.

"Sufficiently-close-to-indestructible kitchen appliances," spoke up Oscar from a nearby stove where he appeared to be mixing some kind of soup. Monika didn't quite flinch, but she did turn to face him rather quickly. She had taken no notice of his presence at first. He was attired as a professional chef, hat and all, and Monika observed with amazement as he maneuvered between the two raging combatants with ease. He, too, moved all over the room to tend to more than a dozen different dishes in progress, but he did so without any evident haste or hurry. As he did so, he continued to speak to Monika telepathically, seeing as she'd never be able to hear him over the fight otherwise. "Ruby and Nora put this set-up together eons ago, long before I ever even appeared in Baseline from what I'm told, so they could spar while they were baking without having to move too far away from their work. Though, their sparring is a lot friendlier and far less…BST-laden…than this, I have to admit."

"That makes sense," Monika replied in kind as she continued to stand in the doorway while watching Natsuki and Neo go at it. "Hold on, 'BST-laden'? You don't actually think…"

"I could be wrong," Oscar shrugged, "Neo has two main settings when she fights: flirty, and trollish, and sometimes it's hard to be certain which one she's being. And also Ax-Crazy Sadist, but that one only comes out when "acceptable targets" are available. I don't think your friend is interested, either way, but she was getting a little…let's say 'tentacle-happy' a while ago. Until Neo got out the freeze ray."

"Nat does like to go ham with the Combat Tentacles whenever she Majins up, I've noticed. I never wondered if there was anything Freudian to it before now. Huh."

"Careful about mentioning Freud around Weiss. Might trigger a minor rant," Oscar cautioned.

"Noted," Monika nodded. "So…should I do something, or are they…fine? Like this?"

"Don't worry," Oscar chuckled under his breath, "This kitchen has seen way worse. And if they get too carried away, I can handle your friend and talk Neo down."

Monika frowned. "I know we aren't very powerful by Looper standards, but Natsuki's not one to back down easily. She may be the youngest of us, but she's easily the most tenacious as well."

Oscar looked directly at her and half-smiled. "Even so, I can manage."

"Alrighty then," Monika murmured to herself, before reluctantly turning and leaving the three of them to their affairs.

Shortly afterwards Neo pulled out a RYNO V, Natsuki whipped out a BFG 9000, and Oscar let out an agitated sigh.

…

Eventually, Neo and Natsuki wore each other down to the point that they came to an unspoken agreement to focus their remaining energy on baking. By the end of the day, they put together enough sweets to feed a small army after an unlikely triumph.

Sitting back against a wall, they admired the fruits of their labor. They were both covered in splats of batter, Natsuki having reverted back to human form.

"It'll do, I suppose," Natsuki grunted, stifling a yawn.

Neo snorted. "You're not at all hard to please," she snarked.

"I'm a perfectionist when it comes to baking. You wanna make something out of it?" asked Natsuki, side-glaring at her.

Neo pretended to look thoughtful for a bit. Then she shook her head. "Nah. You're cute when you get all feisty."

"Don't call me cute, you ice cream devil!" Natsuki snarled at her.

"The feistier you get, the more adorable you get. Ain't my fault," replied Neo.

"I WILL END YOU!" Natsuki declared as she leaped up to her feet, a warhammer appearing in her hands.

"Please take it outside," Oscar pleaded.

Scene 6: Doki Doki Style
(DDLC)/(RWBY)
(By me)

Monika was their leader, so it was only natural that she led the way. At Yuri's insistence, she was wearing her hair down for a change. Because Sayori had thought it would look nice, they had fixed Monika's hair so it rippled down in waves, with two strands of ringlets framing her face. And as a last minute fixture (and possibly just so she didn't feel left out) Natsuki had grabbed Monika's iconic white hair-ribbon and tied it around Monika's neck, like a choker. Rather than hide the tails of the ribbon under her hair, Natsuki had tied the ribbon so that they would hang in front of her cleavage. "Draws the eye, like a necklace, but doesn't look as out-of-place with your armor as a regular necklace would," Natsuki had explained. "We're at a wedding, we may as well try to meet people, right?"

To which Monika had no reply.

Armor-wise, Monika wore emerald-green scale-mail in the style of a sleeveless dress with a plunging neckline and miniskirt hemline. Naturally, there was a cloth-padding layer under the armor, because any kind of mail against bare flesh would be absurd. She had matching bracers and thigh-high boots, both with green scales on leather, and wore a pair of green fingerless fighting gloves. Behind her flowed a metallic-green cape with silver trim and an emerald-studded clasp. Because no armor is truly complete without arms, she wore a gun-belt with a pair of jade-handled revolvers. She also had Rip Van Winkle's magic musket held against her shoulder. It was quite possibly her favorite gun that she hadn't built herself.

As Monika's faithful VP, Sayori followed behind her and to the right. Where Monika favored green, Sayori was wearing red. As her friends had predicted, she had waffled over and over again on her armor design. She had also pancaked, flapjacked, and possibly even French-toasted. In the end, she had simply cleaned up her ceremonial Sith armor. A red robe with black trim over Mandalorian-style light armor with sky-blue plates on a dark-pink cloth base. She didn't have a helmet, of course, preferring just the hood of her robe. On the back of the robe was an enlarged version of the Cutie Mark she'd had as 'Sunshower'; a sun poking out from behind a dark raincloud. Clipped to her left hip was a coiled-up lightwhip, which glowed a dazzling shade of pink when in use, and on her right hip was a more traditional, red-bladed lightsaber. Holstered on the small of her back, out of sight, was a blaster she had modified to fire Silly String with enough pressure to knock a man across a room, and enough tensile strength to restrain a fully-grown, fully-raging Bull Rancor. And just in the unlikely case that things got really dicey, she had her favorite glow-in-the-dark yo-yo in a secret pocket on her armor.

Yuri walked behind Sayori, and to Monika's left. Whereas Monika was wearing her hair down for a change, Yuri had decided to put hers up for once. Her rich, lavender mane piled up on her head in an ornate topknot with two sticks crossing to form an X. She, alone, did not appear to be wearing armor at all. At first glance, it was just a very shiny homongi-style kimono that made no rustling sound as she moved, not even in total silence. This was because the kimono was, in fact, woven from sider-silk-thin threads of Vibranium, mixed in with mithril for added shine. And because this was a kimono Yuri had made herself, it was bursting at the seams with symbolism.

The kimono's base color was violet; the color of cosmic harmony in Chinese painting tradition. Embroidered on the back in gold was a vertical column of Chinese characters that boiled down to "Everlasting joy for the happy couple!" Embroidered up, down, and around the sleeves and lower portion were various kinds of flowers, each one chosen for its meaning in hanakotoba, the Japanese language of flowers: Sunflowers for passionate love and radiance, irises for glad tidings and loyalty, lavenders for faithfulness, verbenas for co-operation, pink roses for trust, happiness, and confidence, and yellow, white, and red poppies for success, rejoicing, and fun-loving, respectively. And scattered throughout were a couple of cactus flowers, because she knew what kind of couple Blake and Yang were.

Finally, over the chest was a large taijitu, with yellow in place of white for the 'yang' half. Circling around the taijitu were a black cat, prowling over the yang-half, and a yellow dragon undulating under the yin-half. By using lighter tones in the metal fabric above the yang-half, and darker tones below the yin-half, Yuri had created the illusion of each half casting light and shadow, respectively, on the kimono. As her ceremonial weapon, Yuri had brought along another of her own creations: a naginata with a five-foot ebony haft, and a foot-and-a-half blade that was bone-white. Aside from some magical runework and the striking coloration, the weapon was relatively undecorated. She carried it in one hand, balanced across her shoulder, with her other hand tucked into her kimono.

Bring up the rear, and insisting it was by choice and not because she had the shortest legs, was Natsuki. Unable to figure out a satisfactory combination of "dress" and "armor", she decided to go with traditional plate-mail above the waist with a dress skirt below the waist. The skirt was ankle length and, as she had promised, it was as frilly as possible. Her frill was maximum. Unlike her friends, Natsuki wore a helmet; open-faced and shaped like a lioness's head, with scintillating rubies for the eyes. Strapped across her back was a heavy maul with an octahedronal head carved from a single, solid diamond, and clipped onto her hips were a pair of morningstars. The haft of each weapon was lined with patches of clingy material to make them easier to wield with her Faunus cat-paws. With said paws, she was carrying a six-foot tall pole, from which waved an eight-foot long banner that billowed in the breeze. The banner sported black and yellow vertical stripes, and written in big, bold, font, colored black on the yellow stripes and yellow on the black stripes, was the proclamation "BUZZ, BUZZ, MOTHERFUCKERS!"

Thusly arrayed, the four of them made their way towards the wedding grounds.

Scene 7: Recognition.
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(SD Gundam Force)
(By Shadow Wolf75)

It was maybe a day after the Reds and Blues showed up. Captain Gundam and Professor Gerbera were both off duty on this fine Remnant morning, free to wander around and socialize or even help the other Loopers out with the wedding preparations if they wanted.

Wandering was the order of the hour, at least for the moment. Well, it was, until the taller black-armored SD Gundam caught sight of a set of four vaguely familiar girls working on something at a table a good distance ahead of them. Gerbera froze for a second, though he at least managed to avoid startling. "Those four are Looping?!"

Beside him, Captain glanced up ahead, taking note of whoever it was up ahead. Four high school aged girls, the two shortest of which had different shades of pink hair, the tallest having long purple hair, and the second tallest with long red hair pulled back in a high ponytail. Right, they were from some visual novel he remembered suddenly gaining popularity in a recent Hub loop... something about a literature club? Sayori, Natsuki, Yuri, and Monika-

And then Captain fully recalled his memories of said VN, evoking a sinking feeling, only made worse by the low growl he just heard out of his brother. He sighed at this, shaking his head. "Apparently they are? I take it you've seen their Baseline as well... if they're all here, and okay with each other, I imagine she's not doing that any more."

No dice, and the growling out of Gerbera got a tiny bit louder.

Well, nothing else for it then. Captain elbowed his brother, and made use of the one other thing likely to get him to snap out of it. Gerbera's given name. "Madnug..."

That, along with the elbow to his side, got the professor to finally startle and glare at his brother in irritation. "Captain, you know what I said about using that name in public-" Gerbera blinked, then realized what he'd been doing just now. "Oh. I- I'm sorry, Captain. It's just what happened to them, and what Zeong did to me... it cuts a bit close, you know?"

The white-armored Gundam nodded. "Indeed. But I think this is similar to your own case in another way, actually."

"In what way?"

At the table up ahead, Natsuki suddenly got the feeling they were being watched, and on glancing around, she caught sight at the two robots in the distance. Two SD Gundams, likely in the same design series... say, didn't she watch something like that in their last Hub loop? SD Gundam Force, as it was known in the Hub, had cute little robots saving the world, what's not to love? Except later on things took a turn for the darker, much like their own loop. Oh crap, if that was Captain Gundam, then the other one had to be-

Natsuki glanced up at her friends. Monika and Yuri were focused on their work, though Sayori seemed a bit less so, and thus she was the one the shorter girl got the attention of. She reached out to poke her friend's arm, whispering, "Sayori, is that who I think it is? Why the hell would he be Looping?"

Sayori was a little bit out of it, probably because of the negative feelings she'd been picking up as a Force sensitive, though Natsuki's poke brought her back to reality. She looked in the direction indicated, soon sighting Captain and Gerbera in the distance. The negative feelings were also coming from that direction, not entirely a surprise given what she also remembered of the two robots' Hub backup. Gerbera's fate at the end of his Baseline was strangely similar to what happened to her, in fact.

Well, Natsuki was still waiting, and thus Sayori whispered back. "Professor Gerbera, right? I guess... his Admin and Anchor wanted to give him a chance. Looks like it worked out, otherwise he wouldn't be so calm, or even be here with his brother at all."

Natsuki sneaked a glance at the bots in the distance again. Well, they were just hanging out, taking in the sights; that wouldn't be the case if things weren't okay. She shrugged, just accepting it and getting back to the task at hand. "Hmm, if you say so."

With that settled, Sayori happened to notice the two Gundams in the distance were actually looking their direction. She caught Gerbera's gaze and smiled faintly at him, then discreetly held up one hand to flash a v-sign in his direction.

Back with the two Gundams, Captain replied to his brother's query, seeing Sayori's gesture. "In what way? That neither you or Monika are your Baseline selves."

Gerbera glanced at the ground for a few seconds, a bit humbled. "Y-yes, that's right." He looked up and flashed a v-sign of his own at Sayori, also smiling back. "I should be fine now, just needed that reminder."

The moment passed and the two robots began to head elsewhere. Weiss walked up to them before too long, though. "Oh, good, I didn't have to use Force Calm on anyone this time. There's something of an engineering task I could use some help with over here... would that settle your nerves a bit more, Professor?"

The black Gundam almost raised his voice in protest, perhaps somewhat offended the Schnee heiress had been keeping an eye on them. But her suggestion did sound better than just aimlessly wandering around the wedding grounds. "Yes, it would. Coming, Captain?"

"Why not? Glynda doesn't need us for a few more hours, anyway."

Scene 8: Doki Doki Loot
(DDLC)/(RWBY)
(By me)

"Frabjous day to you, our blessed friends!" Monika called grandly to the happy couple, making a sweeping bow.

"Yo," Yang greeted back, flashing a peace sign and lounging against Blake's side.

Blake smiled as she absent-mindedly ran her fingers over Yang's scalp. "Well you seem unusually high-key today, Monika. Festive atmosphere gotten to you?"

"Nah, it was Caboose," Sayori spoke up.

"Caboose?" asked Blake.

"We passed the Reds an–well, technically, it was just the Blues. Well, technically it was just Caboose and Tucker," said Sayori, "Point is, Monika saw Caboose, drank something out of a flask from her Pocket, and…I don't know, she's been like this ever since."

"On this, the indefinably splendiferous occasion of your glorious union, we of the Doki Doki Looping Literature Club present ourselves before thee with hearts BURSTING with good will and vicarious rapture!" Monika announced, emphatically thumping the butt of her musket on the ground.

"We also brought gifts!" Sayori added, throwing back her hood. A top hat popped into being on her head, which she took off and reached her hand into. She started pulling out a long chain of multi-colored scarves tied together. She spent a good thirty seconds pulling them out, letting them fall into a heap at her feet. When she had pulled the whole chain out, there was a pile of scarves that went up to her knees. Then she flipped the hat upright, holding it by its brim, and discus-threw it away as hard as she could to her right. Sayori then pulled her hood back up, reached into her cloak, and produced a small cloth bag. She opened the bag and up-ended it, scattering a bit of glistening dust over the scarf pile. Then she crouched down, scooped up the whole pile, and flung them into the air with a shout of "Ekat thgilf!"

And then the multicolored scarves were a flock of colorful birds, taking wing and spiraling out around them, singing in ethereal tones. On closer inspection, they were not really birds at all. Rather, they were bird-shaped masses of soft light. Higher and higher they flew, until they suddenly burst into a spectacular fireworks display.

Blake and Yang started clapping, but Sayori held up her hand. "Please hold your applause until the end."

A moment later, Blake's ears started twitching. "Does anyone else hear whistling?" she asked. She looked up, and Yang copied her. There was, indeed, a loud whistling sound coming from high above them all. The whistling grew in volume until it was a low keening, and then a massive trunk fall out of the sky. Just before it could slam into the ground, Sayori threw her hand up again and the trunk came to a dead stop. Sayori made a 'go on, scoot' motion with her hand, and the trunk lazily drifted over to Blake and Yang before dropping in front of them. Sayori snapped her fingers, and the trunk's lid popped open. Confetti, balloons, fireworks, glitter bombs, and the sound of air horns and trumpets came flying out of it.

Blake and Yang exchanged a look before leaning forward to see what was left in the trunk, if anything. Then their eyes widened, and Yang practically jumped into the trunk to pull out its remaining contents. To wit: a collection of hand-stitched plush figures. Most of them were obviously Blake and Yang, some being realistically proportioned and some being chibi-style. Some of the Yang plushies gave her different kinds of Faunus features, and instead of showing Yang and Blake in their normal forms some of them were just black cats and yellow dragons. There were also yellow cats and black dragons. Some were Ponysonas of Blake or Yang, and some looked like they could be Blake or Yang as a Pokémon. And every single plushie was unique; either it had a different outfit, or had a different facial expression, or had some sort of quirky accessory. And despite all the things that had been initially released from the trunk, it was still mostly full of plushies, and big enough for Yang to completely submerge herself. And it looked like there would be room to spare for Blake as well.

Yang's head popped up out of the plushie pool. "Blake, they smell like us! All the mes smell like me and all the yous smell like you, and the smells aren't all mixed up!" She turned to Sayori, "How'd you do that?"

"If I told you that Pinkie Pie helped me figure it out, would you still want to know?" Sayori asked with a sly grin.

"Never mind," Yang replied, before submerging herself once more.

Blake grabbed a Chibi-Yang out of the trunk and inspected it, turning it over in her hands. "This is pretty exceptional handiwork, Sayori. How long did this take you?"

"Well, I started working on the first one our third night at Beacon, last loop we were here," said Sayori, "And I finished the last one yesterday afternoon. So approximately seven and a half subjective years. And I spent an average of four days on each plush. Like, four days from when I started to when I finished, not four days straight of doll-making. That would be silly." Sayori glanced away and fingered the hem of her hood. "I mean, I knew there was no way I could come up with anything that would be useful to Loopers so much older than me…" Her eyes widened and she gasped, "Not that I think of you guys as old! Haha, I mean, I…you…erm…"

Blake just laughed and pulled Sayori into a one-armed hug. "Calm down, kid. You're fine. These are great. Thank you, Sayori."

"Hah…haha…thanks, Blake," Sayori laughed nervously, hugging Blake back.

"MY TURN!" exclaimed Natsuki, stepping up. She slammed her banner down, imbedding the pole into the ground. She threw her paws up above her head, and a large roll of canvas popped out of her Pocket and into her paws. She took a knee and held it out in offering.

Blake took the roll from her and glanced at the chest. "Hey, Yang, c'mon out of there and take a look at this…Yang?"

A full ten seconds passed before Yang finally dolphin-jumped out of the trunk. Complete with dolphin sound effects, somehow. "Pretty sure there's an Undetectable Extension Charm on this thing," she commented.

"Could be," said Sayori with a shrug, "I got it from Master Pinkie, and the first thing I learned as her student was 'don't think too hard about it'. Could be vanilla-magic, could be Warp-powered; heck, for all I know it could be a Hammerspace trunk just because it came from her."

"Ahem," Natsuki said pointedly, tapping her feet.

"Oh, right," said Blake, holding the roll out to Yang, "This is from Natsuki."

Yang grabbed the edge of the roll, and together she and Blake unrolled it. Fully unfurled, the canvas was five feet wide by eight feet long. Blake and Yang took a moment to stare in appreciative awe at the image upon it.

It was a ridiculously detailed and absurdly intricate (to say nothing of it being simply massive) mandala. It appeared to be a digital transcription of what had originally been a watercolor painting. On first glance it appeared to be your typical lotus-with-a-thousand-petals set-up, but on closer inspection the 'petals' were actually Blake and Yang's emblems alternating. Blake and Yang studied the image for a good ten minutes, finding all sorts of homages: books, motorcycles, ninja tools, boxing gloves, Uchiha fans, surgical tools, fishes, chibi-style Oozarus, cats made of shadows, dragons made of fire…

It didn't take long for Blake to realize that she could study the painting for days on end and still not find everything. Finally she stopped staring and looked back up at Natsuki. "Very intricate, this. You must have done a lot of research during that one loop," she remarked.

"Yeah…like Sayori said, there isn't much we can offer in terms of practical gifts," said Natsuki, "So I figured, maybe something you can use to decorate some corner of your Pocket. Or something. I don't know, I just wracked my brain for six hours until I had an idea for a gift that didn't sound like garbage, and then…y'know…poured my heart and soul into it. Like ya do." She shrugged and gave a small, unusually genuine smile. Not that Natsuki was one for fake smiles, but Blake had come to realize that she had a habit of "puffing her chest out" as it were.

"Not bad, Nats. Not bad at all," said Yang, rolling up the mandala.

"Yeah, having rat and gnat forms helped me get all the teeny, tiny details right."

"You have a gnat form?" Yang asked.

"We spent a loop as bugs. I was…Gnatsuki," said Natsuki with a long, sullen groan.

Yang threw her head back and guffawed. "That's so great!"

"Yeah, yeah, glad you enjoy the pun loops, Golden Child. I, for one, have had my fill of loops where I have some ridiculous form just because my name has a syllable that's easily swapped out for rhyming one-syllable words."

"Forms like the ones that you just admitted came in handy?" Blake asked with a catty grin.

Natsuki inhaled sharply, and then just sighed. "Yeaaaaaah…I guess. Still, it was annoying to spend a whole loop as a little pink rat. That was way back, before Monika had built up confidence in her spriting skills and before I found out I can just shift between bodies I've had."

"Ahem," spoke up Yuri, stepping forward. "Second to writing," she began, "Blade-crafting is my best skill. Or my best practiced, at least." Another chest popped into existence next to her, and she tapped the side of it with her naginata. The lid flew open and what appeared to be a filing cabinet shot up out of it, growing and growing until it was at least a hundred meters high. Yuri pulled a drawer open, reached inside, and pulled out a butcher knife in a leather sheath. Drawing it out, Yuri revealed the blade to shiny copper. "Every couple needs a good set of kitchen knives, which is all I intended to make at first, but that only took one afternoon and I figured 'We're Loopers, may as well go all-out'. So I made two of every kind of knife I know how to make, out of every suitable material I had available. From the standard varieties of steel alloy, of course, to a few classical throwbacks like copper, bronze, jade, obsidian, bone, and more 'exotic' materials. Adamantium, Vibranium, Anti-metal, Uru, adamantine, mithril, orichalcum, Celestial bronze, Stygian iron, Imperial gold, Nth Metal, Promethium, Phrik, Beskar, Cold Iron, True Silver, Hihi'irokane, Damascus steel, Daedric Ebony, Morrowind Glass, Thaumium, Brightsteel, several different varieties of Unobtainium…you get the idea, I'm sure."

As she had been speaking, Yuri had set aside her naginata and pulled out one knife after another, showing them off. "Ooh, pretty," said Yang as she admired a sapphire letter-knife. Blake joined in on the rummaging.

"Hold on, is this made of cardboard?" she asked when she pulled out a knife that was, indeed, forged from cardboard.

"Ah!" Yuri yelped, "That's not supposed to be in here…um, sorry, that one isn't part of the set."

"Interesting juxtaposition of absurdly mundane and improbable material with masterful craftwork," Blake complimented as she handed the knife back to Yuri. "Have you ever field-tested it?"

"Oh, this old thing is just the 'proof of concept' as it were," said Yuri as she dropped the cardboard knife into her Pocket. Then another one took its place in her hand, almost identical except for having a darker coloration. "This is the practical model. So far its best feat is hacking up a stone golem."

"Oh merciless gods I'm coming doooooooown," whimpered Monika, who was holding her head.

"Coming down from what, exactly?" asked Natsuki, while Sayori laid her hand on top of Monika's head.

Monika shivered briefly, "Something to fluff out the edges of reality, to the point that a conversation with the likes of the blue one could be enjoyable, rather than make me pray for an aneurysm. A little something I made myself; it has no common name and its scientific name contains thirty-seven syllables, some of which are borrowed from alien languages that can't be translated into English." She blinked. "I think I'll start calling it Cerebello-Yello. No, that's stupid. Mindmellow. Much better. Okay, we're doing gifts right?"

She stepped forward, held out her hands, and upon each palm appeared a bracelet made of alternating black-and-yellow beads. Each bracelet included a larger, translucent bead; violet on the left hand, gold on the right. "Personalized Virtual Intelligence Companions," said Monika, holding the violet one out to Yang and the gold one out to Blake, "Basically, non-sentient AI versions of you; whenever both are active, they swap brainwave-pattern analysis data of each other's wearer so that they can update their respective personality approximation matrix, allowing them to make changes to remain consistent with the person they're based on. The idea is for them to help alleviate the stress of being "separated" from each other when only one of you is Awake in a given Loop."

As Yang and Blake put their bracelets on, Monika continued her explanation, "They can also do…you know, pretty much anything you would expect a hi-tech AI to be capable of, with the exception of any task that would require a sentient mind to accomplish, since creating sentience is one of those lines I just don't cross. In terms of processing power, they're quantum supercomputers, so they should be useful in all kind of practical situations. You can think of them as Super-Scrolls. Speaking of which, they allow for instant teleconferencing across any distance thanks to Quantum-Entanglement Communications technology, which I've modified with subspace sensory arrays that should allow for interdimensional communication…within the same Branch of Yggdrasil, of course. I've proof-tested the tech in a couple different loops with internal multiverses, and it's passed every test so far…though obviously I haven't been able to test it in everyBranch. The QEC comes with audio-only, holo-chibi, and full-scale hologram options. They can also generate an omni-tool gauntlet with full minifacturing capabilities to allow for flash-fabrication of…ahhh, you know what? They come with comprehensive tutorial modules, so you should be able to figure out their full capabilities on your own. Sorry for being short, but I really need a stiff drink. I don't feel so well."

As Monika tried to wander away, Sayori caught her by the shoulder. "Hold up, we've got one more thing to give them, remember?" she asked. Then she jumped up and caught her hat, which came whizzing in from the left. She reached into the hat, and pulled out a thick book with a handsome, glossy burgundy hardcover. "For a Night-Cat and a Sun-Wyrm: A Collection of Poems,"read the title, "by Monika, Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki. With greatest affection."

"We were originally going to do a poem each, and then some kind of group project for you guys," said Natsuki, "But then we started pumping out poems like crazy and wound up making thatthe group project, and then we each got our own idea for a personal gift. You've got your obligatory romantic sonnets in there, and poems for other deep, introspective, reflections-of-a-time-looping-immortal-multiverse-traveler kind of stuff, and some funny, light-heart silly stuff. Yuri and Monika came up with some moody and philoso-deep stuff, Sayori and I wrote a bunch of pun-acious limericks and such. Some of it's based on our observations of your relationship, some of it's based on our relationship with you two. This whole thing has actually been our biggest mutual source of poetic inspiration since we all started Looping!"

Sayori handed the book to Blake, and then pulled out a second copy from her hat and handed that to Yang. Then she Pocketed the hat.

"Okay, everyone," Monika grumbled, clapping her hands together, "Gifts have been given, congratulations expressed, we love the both of you and wish you the best for many epochs to come, et cetera, et cetera, ad infinitum. Now, if anyone needs me I'll be hitting Torchwick up for…whatever he's got, honestly, I'm not picky right now. Don't do Mindmellow, kids, it isn't worth the crash. This has been Monika's PSA of the Day." And with that, she ambled away, leaving five ladies with mildly concerned and/or amused expressions in her wake.

Scene 9:
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(Red vs. Blue)/(Half-Life)/(Sailor Moon)/(My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)
(By me)

The Reception To End All Receptions was well-underway. Maybe she was biased by her status as a perpetual high-schooler, but Monika thought it was starting to look more like the drunken insanity of an after-prom party. Then again, this was her first time attending a Looper wedding, so maybe this was normal? Either way, she was checking up on her friends to make sure they were all having a good time. She had been surprised to find Natsuki chatting amiably with Neo. She made a mental note to ask about that later. Yuri, she found chatting with one Kaikaina Grif.

"Hello Miss Grif," Monika said politely as she approached them.

"Do I know you?" asked Kaikaina, ruddy-faced but only slightly slurring.

"We met in another timeline," Monika explained off-handedly, "Yuri, have you seen Sayori? I seem to have lost track of her."

"Oh…neat," said Kaikaina, seeming to have already lost interest. She turned back to Yuri, "Now, about those 'rope tricks' you were telling me about?"

"Sorry, 'Kaina, kind of have to deal with this real quick," Yuri replied, also looking a bit flushed in the face, holding up a finger. "Yeah, actually, Sayori was the one who brought my attention to the fact that Kaikaina was here. Then she grabbed V and ran off that-a way, asking me if I'd mind keeping this little spitfire out of trouble. On a completely unrelated note, have you seen Tucker recently?"

"Who's V?" Monika asked, glancing off in the direction Yuri had indicated. What she saw made her eyes widen. "Oh no…Yuric'monwe'vegottostopthis! NATSUKI! CLUB EMERGENCY!" Then she took off running.

Yuri and Kaikaina followed her, and they were soon joined by Natsuki and Neo. "Hey Prez, where's the fire?" asked Natsuki.

"THERE!" Monika pointed at the stage, where Sayori was adjusting a microphone stand.

"Oh. Oh, this could be bad," Natsuki muttered with wide eyes.

"The hell's wrong with you guys?" Neo and Kaikaina asked in tandem, staggering behind them.

Monika opened her mouth, but then music started playing. Yuri sighed, "Maybe we don't need to worry? Remnant's physics certainly have a much higher…stress capacity, I guess? And this Loop probably has an even higher capacity. Keep in mind, Monika, that the last time this happened was in a much more Earth-normal loop."

"Do you really want to roll those dice, Yuri? You really want to risk one of us being responsible for–"

"~Just a small town girl, living in a lonely world~" Sayori started singing, audibly tipsy but much more melodic than Monika was expecting. "~She took the midnight train going annnyyyyywhere~"

Then, to their surprise, Gordon Freeman stepped onto the stage with a mic in hand, "~Just a city boy! Born and raised in South Detroit. He took the midnight train going anYYwheeeeere!~" he sang in a booming baritone.

"Okay, at this point, I am curious enough to let this play out," Natsuki remarked, folding her arms.

Monika opened her mouth, again, to argue the point. But then a plume of fog sprang up from the stage, and Minako Aino stepped out of it. Naturally, Monika clammed up real quick. She was decked out in full pop idol regalia with a bedazzled microphone. "~Just a singer in a smoky room! A smell of wine and cheap perfume.~"

"~For a smile they can share the night!~" broke in Pinkie Pie, poking out from behind Sayori, "~It goes on and on and on and on and onandonandonandon AND ON!~"

"When did she even get here?!" asked Monika in distress.

Twilight, who happened to walk up just then, shook her head. "She does like this song, and she does rather like Sayori too, so I wouldn't be surprised if the answer was: Just Now."

Then the four chorused together, surprisingly in something resembling harmony, "~Strangers! Waiting! Up and down the BOULEVARD! Their shadows searching in the NIIIIIIIGHT! Streetlights! People! Living just to find emotion! Hiding somewhere in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!~"

Everyone watching whipped out various glowing things to wave through the air, while Yuri and Natsuki in particular started cheering. Monika just sighed. 'Oh well…Yuri's right, the odds of Sayori hitting a note high enough to crash this Loop are pretty slim. I'm just being paranoid and silly. Now then, I think I'll go assume the fetal position under a table before she notices me.'

Scene 10:
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(Red vs. Blue)
(By me)

Of course, Monika didn't really curl up under a table. She did, however, shake down Roman for something that could help her forget that she was surrounded by so many people that could dispense judgment on her for her sins. And at least one that she feared might feel especially inclined to do so. Sunset was not too far off, and apparently a very inebriated Glynda Goodwitch had practically thrown open the metaphorical gates to all and sundry. For example, the rest of the Sailor Senshi had shown up…and recalling that fact motivated Monika to knock back another shot.

"There are two very different kinds of drinking, and the one you appear to be engaged in is not the kind generally associated with such a joyous occasion as a wedding reception. Unless you happen to be an exe of one of the lucky lovebirds," remarked the woman sitting next to her.

"I really envy yer brav'ry," Monika groaned, blearing half-lidded at Cinder. "You's a'least as nasty a bitch as I am, buh the presence of firs'-gen Bloopers…Loopers, that is, doesn't seem to faze you adall."

Cinder shrugged, still smirking at her. "The difference between you and I is that I respect power, while you are terrified of it."

Monika sighed, and nodded slowly. "Yeah…power scares me. Specially mine."

"You have no reason to be afraid of her, you know. Not tonight, at least. She's a goddess of love, after all. Romantic events like weddings and such are sacrosanct to her. She's not going to do anything to spoil this day," Cinder explained to her.

Monika rolled her eyes. "I know I'm safe tonight. 'Swhy I'm getting drunk."

"I think you're well past 'getting' drunk," Cinder dryly observed.

"Problem is, tomorrow's not so sure," Monika grumbled.

"Spend the rest of the loop hiding in your Pocket, then, if you're that scared."

Monika gave loud, hideous snort at that. "I'm not a coward. When she comes for me, I'll take what's coming to me, like a man…y'know what I meant…"

Just then, Gordon Freeman ran past them, bearing a teetering and giggling Sayori on his shoulders. "Onwards, brave Sir Gideon! We go to face the enemy on the field of battle!"

"Aye, aye, Lady Salami!" replied the thoroughly sloshed physicist. A moment later, they loudly collided with a Sun-Bearing-A-Ruby-On-His-Shoulders. All four Loopers tumbled to the ground, cackling hysterically.

"Well…glad that one worked out," Monika murmured to herself. "Always nice to see Sayori make new friends…no 'counting for taste, though."

"Wonder if it'll stick after he sobers up?" Cinder questioned.

"Prolly. Sayori's hard not to like."

"I've noted she has a bit of a Ruby-esque charm to her," Cinder observed.

"Hey, has anyone here seen my sister?" asked a very concerned-sounding Grif, walking up to their table. Cinder, Roman, Emerald and Ilia all shrugged.

"Last I saw, she was with Neo an' Natsuki an' Yuri," Monika spoke up.

Grif stared at her. "My sister, the walking Sex Joke with a kink list longer than Donut's innuendo rap sheet, was left alone with Neo, the casually sadistic hedonist with fewer moral qualms than Lopez has fucks to give?" he asked in a tone of barely contained fury/terror.

"…and Yuri, and Natsuki," Monika added sheepishly.

"Those two friends of yours with UST thicker than Sarge's sense of self-importance? Great," Grif practically gnashed his teeth.

"What is with you and the analogies?" asked Cinder.

"Besides, Natsuki and Yuri's UST is actually a lot subtler than most cases," Emerald chimed in. "I'd never have noticed it if I weren't an expert on sexual tension."

"I only picked up on it because Kali did," Ilia admitted.

"I never noticed because I don't really care. I don't even know who you're talking about," said Roman. "As for whatever Neo's up to, I'm not too worried."

"I'm not worried about Neo, I'm worried about my sister! And the Grif family reputation!"

And with that, he stormed off.

A moment later, Yuri came running up to the table; her whole body practically vibrating with more excitement than Monika thought was possible for her to express in a place this crowded. "Monika! Monika! Oh my goodness, Monika, you'll never believe what just happened to me!"

"Whatever you do, don't let Grif hear about it," said Cinder with an amused smile, "He might come for your head."

"Huh?" asked Yuri.

"Ignore her," said Monika, "What's up?"

Yuri flipped back from bemused to ecstatic on a dime. She pulled out a book and shoved it in Monika's face. "I just found out that Taylor Hebert was a guest here–apparently she was doing the thing with the bees how did I not notice that?!–and I got her to autograph my handmade hardcover graphic novel adaptation of her Hub Back-Up! Can you believe it?!"

"Nice…d'you remember to mention you've done that with a lot of stories you like, so she doesn't think you might be an obsessed fangirl or something?" asked Monika, doing her best to push a coherent train of thought through the alcohol-induced haze.

"Yes, and I made sure to excuse myself and leave her alone before I could say or do anything too creepy…I considered showing off the Skitter, Weaver, and Khepri action figures I made, but decided against it. Do you think she'll hang out on Remnant after the wedding?"

"Anything's possible," Monika yawned. "Oh, by the way, you know where Kaikaina is? Grif's lookin' for her."

Yuri's eyes widened and she almost dropped her book. "Oh no…I left her alone with Neo! I completely forgot about her when I saw Taylor…" Then she disappeared with a Shunshin.

"Seems like your friends are having a lot more fun here than you are, Glitch," Emerald remarked with a sly grin.

"I'm not too drunk to kick yer snarky ass, Sustrai," Monika growled, even as she was laying her head down on the table.

Then Sayori came running up with Natsuki on her heels. "Monika, c'mon, we're playing Remnantball with Team Junior! Nat, go find Yuri."

"Y'mean Juniper?" Monika asked as Natsuki ran away.

"Yeah, that's what I said. Now get up, come on, let's go!" said Sayori.

"Veeps, I'm…uh…kin'a loaded. Just a little," Monika remarked.

Sayori's reply was to firmly grab Monika's head between her hands and pull her up, and shout "Force Sobriety!"

Monika's head immediately cleared. Too immediately. Monika started wincing as a sudden, intense, hangover-like feeling crashed over her. It faded just as quickly. "You actually have a Force power for sobering up? Whyyyyy?" Monika questioned.

"I don't know, ask Master Pinkie why she thought I needed something that equates to a Cure Drunkenness spell," Sayori countered, "Now let's go, we have to show Team Jupiter what we're made of!" yelled Sayori as she ran off.

"Team Juniper!" Monika shouted after her.

"That's exactly what I said!" Sayori shouted back.

Monika stood up slowly. "Alright, guess I have to go get my butt handed to me with my friends," she said to her transient tablemates as she wandered off after Sayori.

Scene 11:
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(Red vs. Blue)
(By me)

"Michael J. Caboose!" yelled an even more drunken Monika as she staggered up to the Blood Gulch Anchor, less than an hour after the game against Team JNPR. They'd given it their all, and they'd all had loads of fun. But in the end, JNPR had won. Obviously.

"Hello, Monitor!" Caboose greeted cheerfully, waving at her energetically.

"Caboose, I've got somethin' I been wanting ta tell at ya fer a while now," said Monika, eyes narrowed as she got all up in his grill.

"What's that? Are you finally going to tell me what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?!" asked an inordinately excited Caboose.

"Hell no, but since you asked it's *URRP!* it's Mint Chocolate Chip," Monika replied, "But as I was sayin', I got words fer you. See, you're dumb. Like, improbably dumb. An' that can be pretty annoying most times. But if I'm being totes honest, I…I kinda envy your dumbness, Boosey. Can I call ya Boosey? I'mma call ya Boosey. See, Boosey, the problem wiff bein' *urp* as smart as I am is that ya know shit. An' knowin' shit makes ya worry 'bout shit. I've done drank myself silly cuz I've been freakin' out about some love goddess in a schoolgirl outfit kickin' my fuckin' ass because I. Am. The worst. You have no friggin concept of how much of a horrible garbage-pile I really am. Yer too dumb to know how bad I suck. An' if I was as dumb as you, I'd be too dumb to get all worked up 'bout what Venus is gonna do ta me. An' you's a nice guy, too, Boosey. Yer best buds with one o' the top five biggest non-villainous assholes I've ever met, an' he's goddamn lucky to have you fer a pal. Ever hear the phrase "God's Favorite Idiot?" I don't know 'bout God, Boosey, bet yer my favorite idiot. An' if you ain't God's favorite idiot, too, then fuck Him. He's got bad taste in idiots. Yer the best idiot in the Loops, Boosey. Just…" she was more or less leaning against Caboose to avoid falling on her face, at this point. She made a fist and gently pounded it against his chest. "Respect, man. That's all I wanna say. Much respect, from me to you. An' if I start actin' all stuck-up an' bitchy later on, that's just me bein' a stupid smart person. I'm piss-faced drunk right now, case ya hadn't noticed, so I'm too dumb to be an ass…nighty-night," she mumbled before smooshing the side of her face against his chestplate and passing out right there.

"Um…Monitor? It is not nap time yet, it is still party time," said Caboose, "I think…it can't be nap time yet, no one is telling bedtime stories."

"Excuse me," said Yuri as she stepped out of the shadows and gently grabbed Monika, hoisting her into a fireman's carry. "I'll take care of her. And Grif? I asked around, and the last person who saw your sister was Nadia. She said she saw her and Neo sneaking off towards the city before she got distracted by Sasuke and Sailor Mars."

Grif heaved a long-suffering sigh. "Damn it…oh well, nothing for it now," he muttered as Yuri about-faced and headed off.

Scene 12:
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(Sailor Moon)
(By Masterweaver)

"You know, I didn't expect this wedding to be so... awesome."

Sayori snorted. "You're wearing a lion helmet and you didn't think this would be awesome?"

"No, I mean like..." Natsuki gestured around with a paw. "Wedding. Two people kiss, everybody cheers, and then... casual discussion and we hang out for the day. Sure we're wearing armor, but I thought that was just the Remnant equivalent of fancy clothes. And I'd have been happy with that, don't get me wrong, but this is... we just finished a game of Remnantball! There's rock blasting out the speakers-not heavy metal, for some reason-"

"Blake doesn't like heavy metal," Yuri reminded her. "The ears, remember?"

"Oh yeah. And Sayori, you pulled off that musical number earlier... actually there's been a lot of singing. Especially after Glynda basically threw the gates open and Sunset frickin' Shimmer got here. And Yuri got to talk with that bug girl she's fetishized-"

"Not a fetish, ordinary fan-"

"-and there are older loopers throwing down in the bay and... I think there was a robot dinosaur around at one point? One of the guests is a tank. Like, just... not driving a tank. She is an actualtank. I expected this wedding to be fun and all, but I didn't expect it to be so over-the-top awesome."

"Yeah, kind of wish Monika could see that..." Sayori sighed as she looked over to their club president, who was throwing back another goblet of wine. "She's been freaking out about the Senshi this whole time. I'm tempted to give her more mindmellow."

"...Yeah, I guess that's pretty terrible." Natsuki shrugged. "But aside from that, and I'll concede it's a pretty big that, this wedding is just plain cool. Almost makes me want to change my mind."

She took a sip of her own drink.

"...change your mind about what?" Sayori asked.

"Huh?" Natsuki processed the question for a few moments. "Oh! About, you know, my stance on weddings. Or romance in general."

Sayori, very deliberately, did not glance at Yuri. "Oh?" She focused on Natsuki. "And what is your stance, praytell?"

"I mean, come on, don't you know?"

"I don't think I've ever actually heard you spell it out."

"...mmmngh."

"Oh come on, Nats, it's a wedding!" Sayori proclaimed cheerfully. "If there's any place to talk about love, this is it." She very deliberately continued to look straight at the girl, seemingly oblivious to the sudden interest of their purple-haired companion.

"Ugh, fine. I just didn't want to talk about it with you. What with... you know, our baseline and Hiroaka and all, I didn't want to insult you or anything."

"I totally get that. I can be a bit of a busybody. Still..."

"Right, so... love is... this big thing that a bunch of people have thought about, right? The purpose of life, a chemical reaction in the brain, an endless mystery, yadda yadda yadda. But the core thing everyone agrees about is that romance is about letting somebody... like... mutual trust? Affection? Understanding somebody, deeply, and wanting the best for them, and wanting to be with them... two souls made one. Which is all fancy and great and all, but... how does it apply to me, is the question."

"Oh?"

"Come on, Sayori, just... I was only included in the game for tsundere value. 'It's not like I like you or anything, baka,' and all the jokes about being flustered." Natsuki rested her hand on her cheek with a sigh. "And let's be real-nobody actually loves that kind of character romantically. It's always 'oh they're adorable,' 'oh I'd love to take them home and cuddle them,' 'look at their cute little temper tantrums.' I'm flat out unlovable-from a romantic standpoint. I mean, I have great friends-don't get me wrong-and I guess maybe I'm being hard on myself, but really? How many people in the multiverse would know me as anything other then 'The Tiny Angry Doki Looper?' And how many people would even be willing to invest the time to get to know me? And out of that increasingly small group, how many people would even care enough to want to be with me so... intimately as romance demands?" She shook her head. "No, love isn't for me, Sayori. Because nobody loves me like that."

Natsuki, so focused on expounding on the speech, had failed to notice a few things. She'd failed to notice Yang sharing a conspiratorial look with her wife, nodding toward the table with a murmur. She'd failed to notice the music shifting to something slower, thanks to Sayori's quiet one-handed signalling to Weiss. She'd failed to notice Sailor Venus suddenly fixing on them with intense, anticipatory focus.

And she had most definitely failed to notice Yuri's hands slowly clutching the tablecloth tighter and tighter with her every single word, the slowly narrowing eyes, the tenseness of her jaw.

She absolutely did notice when the girl slammed her palms down and stood straight, glaring across the crowd. "QROW! BOOZE ME, NOW!"

"...Uh... sure thing?" The confused huntsman held out a bottle of some sort. "What is this-?"

Yuri took the bottle, glanced at the label, nodded firmly, ripped the cork out with her teeth, drained it all in one powerful swig, and smashed it into the ground.

"...Oooookay?" Natsuki glanced at the shattered bottle, and the flower-pot wearing roomba that came to clean it up, before turning to Yuri. "What's going on here, exa-?"

"In about five minutes that's all going to hit at once," Yuri explained brusquely. "And you, Natsuki, are going to be responsible for whatever happens next, got it?!"

"...Sure, I guess...? But... uh... why?"

Yuri grabbed her by the breastplate and lifted her up with her teeth clenched. "This is fucking why!"

She slammed her lips onto Natsuki's, hard.

For a few seconds, the pink-haired girl's brain ran a dial-up tone, leaving her oblivious to the sudden cheers of the observers, the multiple pictures Sayori snapped of the scene, the sudden shift of the music, anything other than the sudden shift in perception. It wasn't until Yuri, blushing, pulled her back, that she even managed to blink.

"...oh."

"Um." Yuri cleared her throat. "So. Yes. Um. That's why. I mean... if you're... alright with that-"

"No, I'm-I'm fine, I guess, I... really?" Natsuki managed. "It's... it's not just the wedding getting to you?"

"Well... I don't... think so. I just... you know, I always thought you wouldn't... go for it, or for me, because I'm the weird one, and if I'm coming across too strong we can not do this or maybe we should talk about this after the wedding when we're more level-headed-"

"No, like I said, it's... wow. It's not bad, just kind of unexpected. I mean sure, we'll talk later, but... we don't have to talk right now, we can just... yeah."

"Okay."

"Yes."

The two looked at each other for a moment, and then awkwardly glanced at the ground.

"...sooo, uh... do you wanna dance or something?"

"Yeah, I'd like that."

There was another pause.

"...Cause if you do, you kind of have to put me down."

"RIGHT!" Yuri lowered Natsuki to the ground quickly, wringing her hands. "Right, sorry, I-"

"It's cool, it's fine, it's... it was actually kind of exciting."

A smile flitted across Yuri's face. "Really?"

"Yeah." Natsuki smiled back, and she took one of Yuri's hands. "So... dancing. Let's go do that now."

"WOO!" shouted Yang. "GREAT WEDDING! ALL THE LESBIANS! YURI PRIDE, EVERYONE!"

Sailor Venus smirked at her. "I thought you were bisexual?"

"Doesn't mean I don't support our full rainbow sisters."

"Fair enough."

Scene 13: Boogie-Down Showdown: Set-Up
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(Sailor Moon)
(By me)

"MONIKA!" shouted what sounded an awful lot like the voice of an angry goddess. Or at least a very stern goddess. Or, at the very least, a very stern and very goddess-like being.

Point being, it was a tone of voice no one in their right mind would want shouting their name. Whether it was fear or magic, Monika found herself almost instantly sobered. She slowly turned to face the speaker.

Minako Aino, having exchanged her wedding wear for her Sailor Venus uniform with all the fixings. She looked ready to Magical Girl Warrior the crap out of some monsters. And Monika dreaded that she had a certain Green-Eyed Monster in mind…

She made no move to bolt as Minako stalked towards her, her gaze penetrating and full of otherworldly power. She truly looked beautiful and terrifying in equal measures. Monika knew, intellectually, that despite the vast difference in power between the two of them Minako was ultimately still as mortal (for a given interpretation of the word) as she was. That being said, if she didn't know better Monika would easily have assumed she was an Admin. And she had met a real Admin once before, or at least an avatar of one. As it was, Monika could feel the power radiating from her, and she doubted that even in her home she would be able to do a thing to defend herself.

Then, suddenly, she couldn't see Minako anymore, and then she realized that it was because Sayori had stepped in front of her.

'You little dummy,' Monika thought fondly. She put a hand on Sayori's shoulder. "Move aside, VP. No use putting off the inevitable," she said.

Sayori hesitated, but she didn't argue. She stepped to the side, and then Sailor Venus was standing in front of Monika with her arms folded.

"I was wondering when we were going to get around to this," Monika said.

"You understand what I'm calling you out for, then?" Venus asked.

"Boy, oh boy, do I ever," said Monika dryly. Then she closed her eyes, tilted her head up, spread her arms out and said, "As a great man once said, 'Smite me, O mighty smiter'."

A beat of silence, and then Venus snorted. "Damn it," she muttered under her breath as the corners of her mouth twitched. "Ahem! Monika, you have done horrible, inhumane things in service of a perverse, twisted, and entirely one-sided romance. Abhorrent enough on their own, your sins are all the more deplorable for having been committed in the name of love."

"No arguments here," Monika replied morosely.

"And under different circumstances, this would be the part where I declare your transgressions to be beyond forgiveness and promise to deliver swift and absolute justice In The Name of Love," Venus continued. "But…"

"But?" asked Monika, cracking an eye open.

"…look, kid, let's rap for a sec," said Venus as she grabbed a nearby chair, twisted it backwards, and sat down. "You've got issues. With a capital I. And unlike most of the evil I deal with on a regular basis, you also have a soul and what I'm told is a whole bunch of pent-up regrets. Which kind of makes you not-at-all evil, really. Now, can we agree that Love is the most powerful driving force there is? At least insofar as sentient life is concerned."

"…sure…" Monika said hesitantly, absently sitting down in a chair Sayori planted behind her.

"Well, I think so anyways, and unless a stronger Looper comes over here and disagrees with me we'll just assume I'm right, kay? Now, love has many forms and countless unique forms of expression. Love can corrupt, as you can testify, but it can also redeem. Both in giving to others, and in being received in kind. Romance is but one love; friendship is another. And you have at least three friends who care about you enough that in the months leading up to this day they've each gone out of their way to approach me and make a case on your behalf."

Monika felt a blush creeping up her cheeks, and although she knew exactly where her friends all were at the moment, she couldn't find the will to look at any of them.

"So! With the understanding that your friends love you as much as they do I can't just go and condemn you for the follies of a younger and more foolish you, now can I? I'm not just a fair-looking love goddess, after all," said Venus with a gentle smile.

Monika could feel the pounding in her chest all the way in her scalp. Paradoxically, her toes seemed to have gone numb. 'Is…is she serious?'

"But!" Venus's expression turned fierce again, "I also can't just let you off scot-free, either. What you did was bad enough that regretting and repenting alone aren't quite enough. So…"

She suddenly stood up and chucked the chair over her shoulder. Then she pointed a righteous finger at Monika. "I challenge you to a dance-off!"

"…you what?" Monika asked flatly.

There was some kind of localized montage-effect, and the next thing Monika knew she was standing on a wide cardboard square, up on the stage, under a glaring limelight. Sailor Venus was standing on her own cardboard square several feet away, and the background music had shifted from rock to hip-hop. Nearby, sitting behind a desk labeled "Judges" were Roman Torchwick, Lie Ren, Winter Schnee, and Jaune Arc. A mischievously-grinning Blake was sitting up in a balcony box attached to one of the many random freestanding walls Caboose had erected earlier, overseeing whatever this was with Yang lounging against her side. They appeared to be feeding each other grapes in turns.

Monika blinked again. "No. Seriously. What?"

"Trial by combat! Except I actually can't possibly hold back enough to give you anything resembling a fair chance, so we're going to breakdance instead," Venus explained. "So, if I win I get to smite you! Non-lethally, of course, because I don't wanna be the jerkwad that kills someone at a wedding. It's still going to be proper painful, naturally. And if you win…uh…I dunno. I'll give you a hug, instead? Pat on the back? Official Certificate of Absolution for Crimes Against Love, maybe? We could have Harry and Usagi sign it too, should be enough to shield you from any other Loopers you meet in the future that might have a mind for meting out justice against you. Anything signed by not one but two of The Seven should have some weight to it. Either way, after this there shall be no bad blood between us, okay? Barring any future misdeeds, you'll have nothing to fear from me or anyone else from my Branch. Got it?"

"…okay?" said Monika.

Sun Wukong did an electric slide onto the scene between the two, mic in hand, and said "Let's get rrrrrready to RRRRRUUUUUUUUMMMMBBBBBLLLLLEEEEEE!"

Scene 14: Boogie-Down Showdown: Resolution
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(Sailor Moon)
(By me)

Forty minutes of epic dancing and one non-lethal smiting later, Monika was sitting at a table with Sayori and Sun, who were both congratulating her on trying her best and putting on a damned good performance. Sun might have been flirting with her, too? Or with Sayori? Monika's head hurt too much for her to really notice or care.

Minako, back in civvies, skipped up to their table and slapped down a piece of laminated paper in front of her. "There you go, Mon-Mon. You've earned it, sport," she said spritely.

"Whhuuh?" Monika groaned.

"Your official Certificate of Absolution for Crimes Against Love," Minako said happily. "It's laminated~"

"…but–"

"I know, I know…but you know what, you really killed it out there. Also, y'know, you've gotten your smiting for all your crimes. So far. And I really planned to give you this all along, anyhow." Minako smiled winningly at her.

Monika smiled back, a bit strained. "Well…thank you, then, ma'am."

"Ah-ah-ah, that's Minako to you, you dork."

"Ri-right, fair enough. Thank you, though, seriously."

"Don't thank me, Monika. Thank your friends. And thank Blake, too, I guess. I was going to do this later in the loop to avoid bringing unwanted drama into the festivities, but Blake asked me if I'd do something about your apprehension so that you could start properly enjoying the evening," the Senshi of Love explained.

"Neat…except now I'm pretty sure I'm going to be spending the night drinking this headsplitter away," Monika groaned.

"Well that's…moderately better than drinking away your anxiety?" said Sayori.

"I've got a better idea," spoke up a new voice as someone placed a hand on Monika's head. Her headache died instantly. In fact, she felt a sudden rush of giddiness, a pleasant tingling all throughout her body, a great lightening of her heart, and the uncoiling of a knot in her stomach that she hadn't even noticed up until now. Anxiety? What was that? What was sorrow? What even was regret? What did she have to angst over? She had three amazing, wonderful friends that adored her and looked to her for leadership. As if someone had taken a glittery highlighter to a few of her memories, she suddenly and very vividly recalled all the times Sayori had come to her room in the middle of the night to talk to her, seeking refuge from a nightmare she'd had about "the old days"; all the times Yuri had come to her with some piece of writing or art, fretting over all the things she thought were wrong with it, begging her to help her fix it while Monika patiently insisted that it was great; all the times Natsuki passed out against her shoulder while they were all watching movies all night. How could she ever believe that any of her wonderful and loving friends still hated or resented her when they were all so comfortable around her?

Monika was trembling all over as she breathed in deeply. There was a sudden clarity to her thoughts, as if someone had peeled a gauze wrapping around her brain. Slowly, she turned to face Sayori, and for once she didn't see the specter of death in her eyes. She saw bright blue eyes sparkling with excitement and infectious joy. There was normally a tinge of sadness hidden there, but not tonight. And Monika suddenly felt so overwhelmed with gratitude that she could see her friend like this. She had so many reasons to feel grateful, to be happy that the Admins had brought her back, that she could continue to preside over her literature club.

The world was a beautiful place, and Monika suddenly realized that she belonged in it after all.

"Enjoy the rest of the night, Monika," the voice called out, and Monika whipped around in her seat to see the back of a young woman with long blonde hair arranged in two round buns and two long tails, already disappearing into the crowds.

"You okay, Monika?" asked Sun, a bit awkwardly. "You're, ah…"

Monika realized she had a few stray tears running down her cheeks. "She's fine, Usagi just…does that to people, sometimes," Minako replied with an amused smile.

Sayori, meanwhile, was just staring at Monika with the hugest smile on her face.

Scene 15:
(DDLC)/(RWBY)/(Little Witch Academia)
(NotHimAgain)

"Mou ichido hurricane," Monika belted out, "dakishimetai touch! Burning touch… Give me touch… Burning touch!" Applause quickly filled the room and, flushed with effort, she bowed and stepped down.

As she walked away to rejoin her companions, another girl walked over to her. They had just been introduced earlier hadn't they? She was Weiss's sister… Diana. That was it. "That was very well done," the young witch said to her, "I enjoyed it very much."

"Are you sure?" Monika asked. "I felt like it was a little off at times."

"As I have been assured by Akko many times," Diana replied, "the point of karaoke is not doing it perfectly but having fun doing it." She smiled conscientiously. "If I wanted to get up with my sisters and dance and sing… the one "Hare Hare Yukai" song, it wouldn't matter if we did it well or not. Though the idea has taken a little bit of getting used to on my behalf."

Monika looked her up and down. Diana had been hanging out by the refreshments more often than not tonight, and what little interactions they'd had left her with the impression that she was not the sort to go in for singing and dancing. "You know the "Hare Hare Yukai" dance?" she asked. Diana shrugged.

"It was Akko's idea," she admitted. "She's… a close friend, and she's very excited for whenever everyone else starts Looping, so she's been developing individual celebrations for each and every one of them. She talked me into learning the dance so that we could do it with Amanda… I'm sorry, you don't know who anyone I'm talking about is, do you?"

"No, it's okay—" Monika attempted. Before she could finish, Nora rose between the two like an angry poltergeist and leaned into Diana's face.

"Diana…" she said hopefully, "I can go and get Weiss and Winter right now, so if you'll just sit tight for a moment—"

"You were eavesdropping?" Diana squeaked.

"Not eavesdropping, I just happened to be passing by and overheard that you know a certain dance made famous by certain familiar people~" Nora grinned. "And isn't it more important to have fun with karaoke than it is to be good?"

"I—that's—"

Suddenly, an arm reached out and pulled Nora away from the two. "Nora, no," Ren said, lifting his wayward partner like a disgruntled kitten.

"Nora YES!" she shouted, reaching out to grab Diana. Ren sighed and swung her away.

"If I may," a new voice said, and everyone turned to see Professor Ozpin walk up behind Diana, "I can take care of this young lady. If you'll please take care of Nora?" Ren nodded and guided the offending (and somewhat offended) girl away. Ozpin turned and nodded respectfully to Monika. "Miss Monika."

"Professor," Monika replied. She heard Natsuki calling for her, and turned to find her friends rushing to greet her.

As she did so, she heard Ozpin saying "Now Miss Cavendish, let's find your sisters, shall we?"

"Wait, you too?"

Scene 16: By Masterweaver.

"Hey, Nats?" Yang waved the pinkette over. "Real talk, girl to girl."

"...Okay?" Natsuki walked over. "What's going on?"

"First of all, congrats on finally getting together with Yuri."

"Uh... yeah, that's..." Natsuki chuckled, rubbing the back of her helmet. "Yeah, that was more her than it was me, but... I might have wanted that too, and just never made a move and... we'll be talking about it later."

"Yeah, take it as slow as you want. Really, I should be having this talk with her, but she got herself plastered so I don't know if she's going to remember this, so I have to tell you and trust you'll pass on the message."

"Alright, sure. Hit me."

Yang put a hand on her shoulder. "First of all, I have long hair. Stupidly long hair. Blake does too, but I'm the one more about keeping my hair clean, right? She comes to me when she needs advice on that front."

"That's fascinating, really, but I'm not sure what-"

"And we have a very, very active sex life."

"OOOOOOOkaaaaaaaaaaaay." Natsuki held up a paw. "This conversation just took a strange turn. Why are you telling me this?"

"Because Yuri also has long hair," Yang pointed out. "Maybe even longer than mine. And, well, I obviously don't think you'll be jumping straight to the sexytimes, but when you get there you might find some issues cropping up."

"Oh. Right, well-"

"Luckily for you-and for Yuri-long hair is common in some parts of the multiverse and some loopers have actually taken the time to write books on how to handle intimate situations with it."

"Right, I'll be on the lookout for a copy-"

"Oh no need, I've got a spare."

With a twist of her hand, Yang produced a book and held it out. The title on the spine was in japanese, but on the cover was a sensual woman, her hair twice as long as she was tall and draped just appropriately enough to serve the purpose of the clothing she utterly lacked.

"Um." Natsuki swallowed. "Wow. Yeah okay, this... this isn't just porn, right?"

"Nope. It's actual advice for intimacy with long hair." Yang continued to hold the book up, her expression completely serious. "Like I said, you'll need this at some point, so I figured I'd drop it off with you."

"R...right. Um..." With a blush, Natsuki snatched up the book and stuffed it in her subspace pocket. "Thanks, yeah. You could have waited for a less public venue, you know."

"And you and Yuri could have hooked up earlier, instead of having an overdramatic moment at my wedding." Yang shrugged. "I'm not really annoyed, mind, but I did swear petty vengeance on everyone who had big dramatic moments that interrupted the happy day, so... consider us even."

She patted the girl's shoulder and walked back to Blake. Yuri stumbled onto a stunned Natsuki and tittered drunkenly. "Hey... hey Nazukri... whadishee wanna say?"

"Just... wishing us luck as a couple, in her own trolling way."

"Oh thashweeeeeee! WE LOVE YOU YANG! YOUSHOO BLRAKE! WOOOOOO!"

Scene 17: By Masterweaver

"Ok, girls, we need to have a talk about yesterday."

"I don't think now's a good time," Yuri grumbled. "Everything is a little loud right now."

"That is what we need to have a talk about," Natsuki said flatly. "You got drunk-and I don't mind because what happened next was pretty cool, and you've had experience with alcohol so I think you probably knew how to handle yourself. Sayori got drunk, ridiculously drunk, and sure she was fun and all but with her depression that is a coin toss."

"Ooooooh, thanks Nats," Sayori grumbled from beneath the warm towel on her face. "I didn't have enough of a headache, really."

"And then there's Monika, who got high on mindmellow, crashed, got drunk, was subjected to force sobriety, got redonkulously drunk, endured terror induced sobriety, then got put through a mental-hype train by Sailor Moon."

"You know, I realize you're trying to be serious and all, but I'm really just trying to imagine us in a hug-pile," Monika mused. "With the doggos that were there. There were doggos there, right?"

"Two, the rest were wolves. Look, my point is, if you're all going to get buzzed, fine, whatever, that's your business, but at least let me know I'm going to be the designated wrangler, alright?" Natsuki rubbed her head. "I mean, I had plans for the loop-I can take the rest of the day off to make sure you're all alright, don't get me wrong, it's just... this. All of this."

"Drink responsibly." Yuri nodded. "Got it. Ungh... I'll help you with the others, Nats, but give me ten minutes in my bed first?"

Natsuki nodded, handing her a water bottle. "Go on, I think I can handle these two."

"I wanna sing something," Monika announced. "I don't know what, but I really want to sing."

Sayori groaned. "Ooooooh nooooooo..."

Natsuki sighed.

Scene 18: Smash Club 2: Bride of Smash Club
(DDLC)/(RWBY)
(By Wookywok)

It had been a good week or so since Blake and Yang had rode off into the sunset to the depths of tree-knows-where. Since then, the various guests at the wedding had begun to go their seperate ways. Some chose to scatter themselves around Remnant, some went back to their respective home planets - and one certain group of literature enthusiasts were staying relatively put, at least for the moment.

After all, there was revenging to be done that day.

"Emerald Sustrai!" Monika called out to the other end of the courtyard.

The green-haired figure turned to face her caller. "'Hey, Glitch. 'Sup. What can I do for ya?"

The club president folded her arms. "You know full well why I'm here - we've been putting this off for far too long."

"I do, don't I?" Emerald folded her arms in return. "Very well, then. Meet me in my dorm at 4 P.M."

~~~~~

"...AND IN THE BLUE CORNER," exclaimed Ilia, "Weighing in at... let's see, if my math's right... 328 X 10^-30 pounds in a digital world, and a lot more than that in a fleshy one, the Hopeful Hacker! The Ghost in the Machine! The Artificial Anchor! Please welcome... MONIKAAAAA SHIORIIII!"

Natsuki gave Yuri a playful nudge. "See? She gets it."

"Will Monika be able to dethrone Emerald and take back her title as Smash Champion? Or will she be sent back home, crushed with defeat? You probably already know who I'm rooting for. Natsuki probably should have gotten somebody less biased to announce."

Yuri nodded. "Yeah, probably."

Sayori stepped into the middle of the "ring" - it was actually just two chairs and a Wii U setup to a TV, but whatever - and blew her whistle. Which was actually a kazoo. Regardless, it caught everyone's attention.

"Alright everyone. As a certain meme once said, 'you know the rules and so do I.' I don't wanna see any semblances, hacking, or any other powers out there. Just dexterity and a solid grasp of the neutral game. Senpai, if you could start us off?"

"With pleasure," said Cinder, raising her mallet to the gong.

"But we're not in the game, so I couldn't hack it if I wanted to-"

GONG

"LET THE SMASHING BEGIN!"