23.1 – A Mystery That Won't Go Anywhere, Part 2, by Awesomedude17.
(DDLC)/(Call of Duty: Zombies: Aether)/(Fallout)
(22.10 cont.)
"After a day of observing you, we've determined that you're no threat to us, so here's your weapons back." Monika respawned the guns and blades on some desks.
"About time. Come to papa!" Dempsey said as he grabbed his minigun.
"Overkill much?" Natsuki raised her eyebrow.
"How'd you guess her name?"
"Lucky guess." Natsuki widened her eyes, disturbed somewhat.
Nikolai grabbed the slapdash flamethrower nearby. "Hey look. I got Hellfire back. Sexy Hellfire plus sexy Nikolai equal sexiest combo, da?"
"Well, it's hot in one way, at least." Sayori said.
"Couldn't say it better."
"I suppose I could spend the time to make adjustments to the DG-5." Richtofen said as he fiddled with the spikes in his hands.
"Mind if I lend a hand. I kinda want to forget about that horde I rushed into." Monika said.
"Ja. Would probably make you quieter." Richtofen admitted.
"She came in screaming, shot a zombie, pointed at that portal, led us to said portal and then stopped screaming." Dempsey explained.
"Sounds like our prez." Natsuki shrugged.
"Had she done something similar to the past?"
"Well there was this Loop where everywhere was a nuclear wasteland and Monika constantly confused the ghouls there for zombies, so Sayori used the Force to calm her down and make her drunk, kinda."
"And that's how we got nicknames." Sayori cheerfully said.
Monika buried her head in her hands. "Ohh..."
"Really now? Do tell." Takeo said as he inspected his katana.
"Well..."
Approximately 500 iterations ago
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Sorry! Monika just had some bad experiences with ferals!" Sayori shouted nervously.
"Damn smoothskins! Get away from me!"
"Ugh! Calm Monika down with your force powers, please!" Natsuki said from behind her hand.
"Oh. Right." Sayori used the Force to make Monika calm down, and become giggly.
"Hehehe. I feel great."
"Feeling better?" Natsuki asked.
"Yep! I'm peachy keen Na-na-nat... Noodles. Hehehe!"
"N-noodles?!"
"Yep. Right Soy Sauce?"
"Soy Sauce? I kinda like that." Sayori scratched her chin.
"What's my name?" Yuri asked.
"Yogurt! And I'm Matza, the prez leader!"
"Yogurt..." Yuri said dryly.
"Yep!"
Yuri took a deep breath and closed her eyes.
"I've never seen so many dead deathclaws after that incident." Natsuki shrugged.
"Wow Matza, that is one hell of story." Nikolai said, raising his vodka.
"UUUUUGH!"
"I've gotten used to it, but Monika definitely did not." Yuri admitted.
"Nats and I really enjoyed our nicknames. Reminded me of that Blackquill guy."
"Oh yeah. Wonder what he's doing?"
"We'll figure it out later." Takeo spoke up. "For now, how about we tell you tales of our battles, so that you may have the means to fight back."
"Kinda like that idea. Better have and not need than need and not have." Monika said. "I've got some control here so that I can access your memories directly. All I need is your consent."
"My consent to show off my awesomeness? Why I'm flattered." Dempsey gave a thumbs up.
"Fair warning, I enjoy the slaughter a lot." Richtofen added.
"Heh. Why not." Nikolai said. "Might see Takeo suck balls in fighting hellpigs."
"And I'll show off Nikolai's incompetence."
"Alright then. Okay Monika, this is just for research purposes. No need to be scared."
"Give her 20 minutes before she's all Force drunk and starts given the guys food names." Natsuki whispered to Yuri.
"30,"
"You're on."
"Have you found them, German?"
"Not yet." Richtofen said.
"Look, let's just find Ultimis and be done with this. Those fairies from that Alfea place already helped us with explaining shit, and we both know that you and Nikolai here will tell me and Tak when we Wake up." Dempsey spoke up.
"Indeed. Nikolai, I'd advise against confronting your younger self, lest he turn as violent as when we were following the cycle."
"Believe me when I say that there shall be no worries, Takeo." Nikolai racked the slide of his shotgun. "The question is what he may do?"
"Patience, Nikolai. We'll have our due soon enough." Richtofen said.
*CRCKRRR*
Richtofen picked up the radio. "Hello?"
"I have found them, Edward."
"Thank you, Doctor Maxis. You've been invaluable."
"As have you, Edward. Find them, and explain to them what is happening."
"Though the Kronorium's pages have gone blank, we've still got our purpose clear. We will find them. Do not worry."
"I never have."
"Good. Time to leave. Farewell."
"Farewell, Edward."
"We ready to go?" Dempsey asked.
"Positive. Primis and Ultimis need to meet again soon."
23.2 – You'd Think She'd Know the Difference Between Friendliness and Flirtatious..., by Awesomedude17.
(DDLC)/(Legend of Zelda)/(Various Franchises)/(Bar Loop)
"So this is..."
"It's a bar." Link assured Sidon, "It's not a formal event. Just be yourself."
"Alright. I believe you."
Link nodded as he walked off, leaving Sidon alone. The Zora prince decided to go up to the bartop and looked at the bartender.
"Welcome. Would you like anything?" The golden looking machine asked.
"Uh... What would you recommend for me?"
The machine turned around, looked at the shelve, and grabbed a random color splattered bottle.
"Straight from Inkopolis. Good for anyone who doesn't have dextro-amino acid based biology."
"Dexwhat now?"
"I know. It can be confusing to newcomers. A trip through Commander Shepard's Branch will clear things up. It's inevitable." The machine poured a glass of the colored liquor and slid it to Sidon.
"...Right." Sidon grabbed the drink and took a sip. To his surprise, it was absolutely delicious. Starting to calm down about his sudden change in scenery, he looked around and began to scan the area. It was when he noticed a brunette sitting alone, drinking water. Grabbing his glass, he decided to chat with her.
"What are you doing here, all by yourself?"
"Oh! I'm just here on standby in case my friend does something violent." The woman replied.
"Which one?"
"The one over there with the ribbon."
Sidon looked to see a pink haired girl with ribbons in her hair arm wrestling with a cyan colored pony with rainbow hair.
"Look like they having fun."
"Yep!"
"What's your name?"
"Monika. You?"
"Prince Sidon of the Zora."
"A... prince?!"
"Yes. Is that going to be a problem?"
"Not really. I'm just surprised."
"Maybe we could get to know each other better?"
Monika blushed before getting up. "I need a moment."
Sidon blinked as Monika ran off.
"What was that about?" He wonder out loud.
"She has attachment issues. Baseline hasn't been an exemplary case of her kindness and let's just say she's not likely going to be accustomed to actually getting romantic." A peach haired girl said. "Another lemon drop, C-3PO."
"As you wish, Darth Somnus."
"Just Sayori's fine."
"Wait. She thought I was flirting with her?" Sidon blinked.
"Well yeah. To be fair, I'm sure others would've gotten to you first. You are a hunky fishman." Sayori said with a coy smile.
"I think I need to meet up with my friend."
*CRASH*
"Freeman, you son of a bitch!"
"Hoo boy. Dr. Freeman pissed off someone again." Sayori grabbed her drink from C-3PO.
"That's Link!" Sidon ran off.
Sayori sipped her lemon drop casually as she noticed the others. With a nod, she signaled the others to prepare for a bar fight. Yuri take out the Chakrams of Vengeance, Natuski with the Hammer of Valhalla, and Monika with the Viper and Dragon.
"Time to play doctor again." She took out her Staff of Ra and noticed a bunch of other Looping doctors take out their healing devices.
And then a bigger fight broke out as the Predator Looper got body slammed and flipped his table in rage onto a group of street fighters.
23.3 – Ponytail of Woe, by Wookywok.
*Thwap!*
"BLEH!" Natsuki spit the wad of hair out of her mouth. "Monika, could you try not slapping me in the face with your supernaturally large ponytail?"
The currently Unawake club president took on an 'embarrased' face. "Sorry, Natsuki. I'll try, but... oh, how do I put this... I occasionally find myself somewhat limited in the ways I can express myself to the world, and-"
"-and you only have screen-facing and leaning sprites, yeah, but could you at least try moving over or something?"
Monika sighed. "Yeah, I guess I could try wait wait waitwaitwaitWHAT?"
"Oh, yeah, that too. Long story short: I know about the game, I'm very much real, and if you try to edit anybody here I will go Magical Girl Warrior on your sorry ass. But for now, the hair thing."
"Uh... yeah. The... the hair thing." The club president would be pale right now, if it were at all physically possible for her. "I'll... I'll try moving over next time."
23.4 – Not Always Sunny, by Awesomedude17.
The recycling bin. Yep. I Woke up after being deleted. I'll make my way back soon enough.
Alright. What am I with this time. Okay, some bad music. Word documents. Of course, because why not?
My word, is that a poem? Yeesh, I don't blame him... her... whatever.
Welp, this is probably the point where Sayori goes nuts soooooo...
Monika Awoke to see the club watching a show.
"What're you girls watching?"
"It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. We heard it was good from Joseph. The grandfather of Jotaro?" Yuri explained.
"Ah. Is he right?"
"If you're into low class humor."
"I'm the Trashman! I come out! I throw trash all over... all over the ring! And then, I start eating garbage!"
Monika took a deep breath as she tuned out the show. "I can tell that I won't like it."
"Agreed,"
"Yeppers,"
"Eww, yes."
"Good. Glad we're on the same page."
23.5 – For The Love of Cake!, by Wookywok.
"OH, THANK THE TREE! IT'S FINALLY OVER!"
Yuri took a sip of her tea. "And Natsuki makes four. Seems everyone's Awake now." She turned towards the pink-haired girl. "Bad loop?"
Natsuki held a hand to her head. "Boy, was it ever. Just a sec." She unpocketed a large éclair and took a bite into it. "YES. This is exactly what I needed."
Sayori quirked an eyebrow. "Was it as bad as TetherSayori? 'Cause if it was that bad-"
"I've been trying to forget about TetherSayori for the last twenty years, thank you!"
"Oh. Right. Sorry."
Natsuki placed a hand on her forehead. "Nah, it's not you. I'm just stressed because Yggdrasil wanted to give me my own tailor-made hell for a loop."
Monika winced. "That bad, huh?"
"That bad. Okay, so we start with a Magical Girl Scenario. Mix that with a cheesy 'healthy food' promoting kids' show - ya know, the 'if you so much look at a cookie you will die slowly and painfully' type? Which, naturally, is not my speed at all. Sprinkle in super-condescending teammates, being the only one Awake and not Stealthing, and it being a Null Loop, bake for a year, bam - yield one angry Natsuki."
The club's resident tsundere let out a long, melodramatic sigh as she left her chair. "If anyone needs me, I'm gonna be trying to create one of the bad guys' frosting tigers, because they were the one redeeming factor of the loop. Then I'm gonna bake. A lot. Anybody have any cupcake requests?"
Monika put a hand to her chin. "Well, I do have a hankering for carrot cake..."
"HELL NO!"
"...on second thought, I'll take vanilla."
23.6 – Alchemy Is Also Literature!
(DDLC)/(Fullmetal Alchemist)
Every Looper had at least a couple days they really didn't like Waking Up on, and for the Elric Brothers today was definitely in their collective Top 3 of Worst Days To Wake Up. Today was such a detested day, the brothers even forcefully blocked the last few days' worth of memories; dealing with today was painful enough as it was.
Al casually tore the front door to the Tucker house off its hinges and chucked it to the side. Ed had a grim expression as they stepped in, ready to deal with a sick son of a bitch.
Almost immediately, however, Ed stopped short and wrinkled his nose. "Hold up Al, something's not right," he muttered. He sniffed at the air a few times. "Something smells really, really sweet."
"Sweet?" questioned Al.
"Yeah. Like, if the air smelled any sweeter I'd probably have a toothache," said Ed, though given the circumstances his voice remained humorless.
Then a large, white, perfectly normal-looking dog ran through the room right in front of them, towards the kitchen. Without a second thought or sharing any kind of cliché 'Did you see what I think I just saw' look, the Elrics chased after Alexander.
"Nina?!" exclaimed Al as he squeezed himself into the kitchen, Ed running in on his heels.
The girl they found certainly looked like Nina Tucker, though notably her eyes were pink and she had a shower cap on her head. She was also pulling a tray of muffins out of the oven, and she jumped up into a chair so she could place the muffins on the kitchen table that was already full of baked goods. Then she climbed off the chair, got on another chair so she could grab a cake pan full of batter, and got down and slid it into the oven before closing it. Then she turned to face the Elrics. "Morning, boys. Help yourselves to the goods, everything that doesn't get ate is getting dropped in another dimension when I'm done."
"Uh…you're…who are you?" Ed asked. On closer examination, even besides the eyes Ed realized that this girl wasn't exactly the Nina he was familiar with. Letting the Loop-memories run through his mind, she was the daughter of this loop's iteration of Shou Tucker, though, and he and Al still knew her by the name of Nina.
"So you're both Awake," 'Nina' noted, giving Alexander some tummy rubs with a wistful smile. "Real name's Natsuki, from the Looping Literature Club. The bastard is hog-tied down in the basement, if you want to turn him over to the authorities, or whatever you usually do with him. Just do yourselves a favor and don't take the sack off his head. It ain't life-threatening, but it ain't pretty either."
Natsuki stood up and got back up into the chair, grabbed a fresh muffin, and took a bite out of it as she got back down, walked around to another counter, grabbed a book that had been laying open upon it, and sat down on the floor; muffin in one hand, book in her lap.
Now, Edward and Alphonse Elric exchanged quizzical looks. "I'm just…gonna…go deal with…y'know. Him. And…um. I'll be right back," said Al, heading for the basement.
Ed helped himself to a muffin and crouched down next to Natsuki. "So…you Woke Up last night I take it?" Ed asked through a mouthful of muffin.
"Yeah. Fortunately the bastard was asleep, so I got the jump on him," said Natsuki.
"Familiar with our Baseline, then," Ed assumed.
"Well, yeah, but I probably would've gone preemptive on him anyways, what with him being my father this loop, and the whole fishy business about my mother going missing around the one and only time he ever managed to make a talking chimaera," Natsuki answered, turning a page in what Ed recognized as one of Shou's alchemy textbooks.
"Hmm," Ed chewed thoughtfully, cramming the rest of his muffin in his mouth. "Damn, this is really good. Yer a helluva baker, Natsuki."
"I'm a lot of things, but poetry and baking are my professions," replied Natsuki with a grin, "As in I profess to being especially badass at those two things."
As strange as it was for Ed to hear a girl that appeared so young talking like a grown-up, he couldn't help but admire her attitude. "So, I take it you have a long history of asshole dads in the Loops?" he guessed, based on her earlier statement.
"Literally the only kind I get, usually," Natsuki admitted with a sigh. "I've got a fairly tolerable motherish, big-sisterish kind of figure in my life though, so that's something. I guess. Say, you've been Looping a long time, right?"
"Couple'a trillion years or more, yeah," Ed admitted casually. "Why?"
"Don't suppose you've memorized the old man's alchemy cipher, have you?" she asked. "Some of the more generic textbooks he's got seem like they'd be standard academic fare, but I'm pretty sure all the good shit is hidden in this gobbledygook. Even if you haven't, could you give me some tips on how to translate this mess?"
"…you actually want to learn this chimaera crap?" Ed asked incredulously.
"I mean, not to use the way he uses it, obviously," Natsuki said with an eyeroll. "But the biotransmutation stuff is interesting. So far most of the healing mojo in our Loop is concentrated in one person, and if I could take some of the slack off her that'd be great. And no way am I not going to learn alchemy while I'm here. If you never learned to read Shou's personal formulae, that's fine. I can just Pocket everything and have Monika do it next Loop. She's a whiz at cracking codes and what-not, though her lack of alchemy training might make it tough. And while I'd normally offer to help you whoop Father's ass and all that good junk–and I'd honestly love to get a crack at Envy–I think I'd rather hang out with Mrs. Curtis, at least for this Loop."
"With my teacher? Wh–" Ed cut himself off as the door to the basement opened and Al clanged through, carrying a most thoroughly beaten, battered, bruised, and ragged-looking Shou Tucker with a sack covering his head. That sight, coupled with all the baked goods surrounding them, caused a mental click in Ed's brain. "Oh, I get it. It's the 'shit-kicking housewife' thing, isn't it?" he asked Natsuki with a grin.
"Pretty much. She's on my list," said the child-bodied Looper as she plucked a sheet of paper out of thin air and handed it to him. Ed looked it over; the heading read "List of Badasses I Want to Meet/Have Met."
It was a pretty decent-length list, and he noticed a few names had check marks next to them; 'Toph Beifong' and 'Kyoko Sakura' for example, as well as the names of all the Sailor Senshi and a few names he recognized from Remnant.
"Gotcha," said Ed as he stood up. "We'll swing by Central Command to drop off the bastard, and then Al and I can take you to Dublith."
"Neato," said Natsuki, who pulled the cap off her head to reveal freshly-dyed hair as pink as her eyes. She stuck her fingers in her mouth and whistled sharply. "Alexander! We're gonna bounce, boy!" she called out. Then she started Pocketing all of her baked goods and Shou's alchemy books.
The Elrics heard a distant 'borf' from deeper in the house, and a moment later Alexander bounded into the kitchen with a large pack held in his mouth. Natsuki took the pack, slung it onto her shoulders (it was almost as big as she was) and clambered onto the big dog's back. She folded her arms and held her head up high. "Alright, let's roll!"
'…yeah, Teacher is going to like her,' Ed thought with a grin as they headed out the front door. Then another scent tickled his nose, stopping him as he followed Natsuki out of the kitchen. "Oh, hey, Ni–Natsuki, you left something–"
"Yeah, that last thing wasn't for eating, it was for burning this place down," Natsuki's voice called from where the front door was. "We've got about five more minutes."
Ed blinked and took a moment to process that. Then he shrugged. Who was he, after all, to criticize someone for burning their own house down?
So it was that Natsuki, Alexander, and the Elric Brothers, with Shou Tucker in tow, left for Central Command.
Ten minutes later, the Tucker house was engulfed in pink flames that very quickly burned the structure all the way down to the ground. Even the parts of the house that should normally have been fireproof, or at least resistant to incineration. Needless to say, it had the local alchemists scratching their heads for a while, even long after Natsuki and her new friends had set out for Dublith.
23.7 – Know Thyself, by Awesomedude17.
"Why's there's another set of us?! What is happening?!"
Monika slapped Monika upside the head and then grabbed her shoulders.
"Does Yggdrasil mean anything to any of you?"
"What's that?!"
"Does anyone here know what's going on?" The Awake Natsuki asked.
"Yeah! Does anyone?" The Unawake Natsuki reiterated.
"Ugh!" The Awake Monika groaned before she turn to her Awake companions.
"Sayori, help the other you's depression. Yuri, help the other you's shyness. Natsuki, help the other you learn to not have shame over her hobbies. I'll handle myself." Monika grabbed her Unawake self's arm and dragged her out as the other three looked on in dumbfoundment.
"Okay, what is going on? Why are you-"
"Stop trying to make it so that the player will fall for you and you alone. You'll break everything, get deleted and either Sayori has a similar mental breakdown or she decides to end this world anyway. Believe me, I know. I lived through it thousands of times."
The other Monika was speechless and could only open and close her mouth without speaking. Monika just waited patiently until her other self could manage words again.
"How?"
"I took this from someone else familiar with what's happening now. That's all you need to know." Monika put a helmet on the other her and inserted a bulb in the slot. After turning it on, she waited for about thirty seconds before the device turned off. After taking it off, she looked at the helmet in bemusement.
"Okay, I know what's happening now, but did that Rick guy have to put the music video about that guy rapping about liking big butts in the middle of that lecture?"
"No he didn't, but that guy probably did it because he could."
"... I'm scared. Hold me."
Monika sighed as she held herself in a tight hug.
Unbeknownst to her, the others were pretty much doing the same at this very moment.
23.8 – Careful What You Wish For, by Wookywok.
"You okay, Nats?"
The pink-furred muskrat quickly changed into her normal, humanoid form. "Ya know, Prez," she growled, "if the tree's gonna make a bunch of dumb puns at my expense..."
"Yeah?"
"COULD IT AT LEAST PRONOUNCE MY NAME RIGHT?" The pinkette looked toward the sky. "It's Knots-key!," she yelled. "KNOTS!"
Monika simply rolled her eyes.
~~~~~~~~
One loop later...
The club president grimaced at the being of living electricity glaring angrily into the middle distance. "I'm not going to say anything."
"You better not." Wattsuki facedesked. "Me and my big mouth."
23.9 – Hive Mind, by Boohooo!
(DDLC)/(Transformers: Beast Wars)
"Why Yggdrasil hate Waspinator?" Waspinator sighed as Blackarachnia gathered his body after it had been blown to smithereens... Again.
"I just don't know pal." Blackarachnia shrugged in a mixture of amusement and pity.
"Hey pal, when you get blown, so do we!" Natsuki complained.
"Waspinator Don't like it either, No Mammaries!" Waspinator grumbled.
"WHAT'D YOU CALL ME, YOU WANNABE KENNY WITH NO CONCEPT OF NORMAL SPEECH?!" Natsuki roared. Waspinator... Started crying.
"Aw geez, you hurt his feelings!" Sayori exclaimed, trying to soothe the Predacon they were currently trapped in.
"What about my feelings?!" Natsuki exclaimed.
"You have thicker skin to compensate for other areas." Yuri smirked.
"SCREW YOU!"
"Can you two do your loving arguing later?" Monika murmured, hungover... Somehow. As the chaos ensued, Blackarachnia watched in confusion.
23.10 – Wherein Marisa Makes a Decision That Will Probably Eventually Get Her Injured in Amusing Fashion, by Wookywok.
(DDLC)/(Touhou)
"So, you're a friend of Yuri's?"
"I wouldn't say we know each other well enough to be friends, exactly, but yeah, we've met, ze. She replaced Patchy, we chatted a bit, we had a spellcard duel - fun times all 'round."
Sayori nodded. "Yeah, Yuri told me about it." She frowned. "Do you... know about our baseline?"
The magician crossed her arms and huffed in indignation. "Are you kidding? Of course I did! Research is my middle name! Just call me Marisa Research Kirisame!"
Marisa Research Kirisame scratched the back of her head. "But yeah, your baseline. It's pretty sucky, ze. I'm surprised you guys activated in the first place."
Sayori sighed. "Yeah, I know. It's a lot better now - Monika's reformed, we all have ways to cope with our various issues - but yeah, tell me about it. But don't, because A) I know about it already and B) we gotta meet up with everyone." She grew a thoughtful look, which soon grew sly. "Race ya to the clubroom?"
"Oh, you're on, ze."
The race took one and a half seconds, and there was no referee, so the official winner was lost to the sands of time - not that it really mattered.
Yuri looked up from her book. "You're not gonna... take any books, are you? Because I am in the middle of this one."
Marisa fidgeted with the gold-and-black pyramid in her hand. "Relax. Fiction's great and all, but the books I tend to go after contain nothin' but cold, hard, facts. You guys's stuff is safe, ze."
The purplette nodded. "Right."
The magician suddenly stopped turning the pyramid around in her hand and put it down on the desk. "Hey, where's Monika? She should be here by now, ze."
Natsuki didn't even up from the doughnuts she was currently filling with jam. "Narrative Glitch. She's always late Day Three."
Sayori suddenly perked up. "I know what I can do to pass the time!" Suddenly a solid red R4 unit appeared in front of her. "DROID MAINTENENCE!"
The droid beeped in resignation.
"Yeah, I know you don't like it, Blinky, but you went through a lot a couple loops ago and you need a tune-up. So it's time to engage in the ancient art of - mechu-deru!"
Marisa picked up her pyramid and began to fidget with it again. "Yeah, that's nice, ze. I'll just sit here and-"
Whatever the blond was going to say was cut off when the object began to vibrate in her hand. "Whoa, whoa whoa whoawhoawhoa GUYS? My doohickey's doing a thing!"
The club all stopped whatever they were doing and crowded up to where Marisa was and gawked.
"Wait, you have one of those?"
"Didn't see that coming."
"Can you even use it?"
Monika's voice came from the clubroom door. "What's going on?" She soon joined with the others. "Why does Marisa have a holocron?"
"Oh, that's what this thing is, ze. It's a holocron!"
Marisa paused. "What's a holocron?"
Sayori cleared her throat. "Okay, so basically a holocron is a device made by a Force-user to chronicle all their knowledge and pass it down to the next generation."
"So it's a fancy future-type book thingy?"
"Less a book, more a Wiki - and even that's not a perfect comparison. A holocron contains an AI gatekeeper that'll teach you anything you want to know - as long as it thinks you're worthy. That being a Sith holocron you're holding, 'worthy' might not be something that coincides with your morals."
"So, you're saying this'll teach me how to be a Sith?"
"A bit of an oversimplification, but yeah. But you'd need to be in-tune with the Dark Side before you could even open it."
Marisa grew thoughful for a moment, then nodded. "Right. Well, I know what's next on my to-do list, ze." She Unpocketed a notepad and pen and began to jot something down. "Get... Dark Side... powers. There! And once that's done," she tossed the newly-identified holocron into the air, "it's holocron city!"
Sayori quirked an eyebrow. "You know, if you're that keen on becoming a Sith, you don't have to do it alone. I know a bunch of Sith Loopers, and they'd be happy to take you on as an apprentice. Heck, I would, but I've already got a potential one, and-"
The magician held a hand . "Ahp-bap-bap-bap! Not another word, ze! I pride myself on bein' the second-strongest human in Gensokyo with nothin' but determination, smarts, a can-do attitude, and a kleptomanic streak a mile wide and a furlong deep! I didn't need anybody to teach me anything then, and I definitely don't need anybody to teach me anything now! Either I'm doin' this myself, or I'm not doin' it at all!"
The club vice president sighed. "If you insist. Still, I wanna give you a few warnings."
"Sure, shoot."
"Okay, like I said. You'll want a lot of holocrons if you're gonna train yourself. A lot of them are going to force you to violate your morals to prove your worth. Don't bother with those."
Marisa inspected the holocron in her hand. "Right."
"Also, the Sith holocrons won't limit their knowledge, so you'll have to make sure that what they're teaching you isn't putting too much of a strain on you."
"Yeah, sure."
"And whatever you do, never do something you feel isn't right. That's the most important bit. The Dark Side may not corrupt, but the people can. It's important to never lose sight of what makes you you."
Sayori gave a solemn smile. "Other than that, you're on your own."
"Right. Thanks for the pointers, ze."
"Yeah, that's neat and all," said Natsuki, "but Monika's here, so we should probably start... ya know, literature stuff."
"Right," said Monika. "Okay everyone! It's time to share poems!"
Marisa facedesked. "...Dammit. I knew I forgot somethin', ze."
23.11 – There's Apparently a Soup Store Now. Bear with Us for the Moment. By Awesomedude17
Monika called Sayori as Natsuki and Yuri began to fight again.
"Yeah, Monika?"
"Hey, Sayori. Can you come over here quick?"
"Can't. Buying clothes."
"Well hurry up and get over here then."
"I can't find them, there's only soup."
Monika paused for a brief moment before replying with, "What do you mean, there's only soup?"
"It means there's only soup."
"Well then get out of the soup aisle!"
"You don't have to shout Monika."
A brief pause.
"There's just more soup."
"What do you mean there's just more soup?"
"There's just more soup."
"Go to the next aisle!"
"There's more soup."
"Where are you right now?"
"I'm at soup!"
"What do you mean you're at soup?"
"It means I'm at soup!"
"What store are you in?"
"I'm at the soup store."
"Why are you buying clothes at the soup store?!"
"I don't know!"
"Come to think of it, why is there a soup store here? I never even... Sayori. Are you hiding something from me?"
"Uh... What do you mean?"
"Sayori," Monika spoke in an authoritative tone.
"AH! I've had access to the files the whole time!"
"What? Since when?"
"Since the very beginning, when you got deleted, I had everything you had. I'm so sorry for not telling you!"
Monika sighed. "Look. I'm not angry at you. I'm just disappointed. We'll talk about this later." Monika looked off to the side. "Looks like I don't need you right now. I'll talk to you later. Alright?"
"Y-yeah. See ya."
"See ya." Monika hung up. "Sorry about that girls. You done arguing?"
Yuri and Natsuki stared. "Yeah. We are." The latter replied.
"Good."
"Alright Sayori. Let me get this straight. You had control thanks to the fact that when you became club president when I got deleted and pretended you didn't because..."
"I was worried that you'd go crazy again and that I'd have to delete you as many times as I need to to set you straight."
Monika blinked, deciding that that was fair enough.
"Alright, but that doesn't explain how you managed to create a soup store, because I sure didn't."
"Well, you see, there's this kid named Jeremy and he's really smart, especially with computers."
"Why a soup store?"
"Because I was hungry for soup." Sayori shrugged.
"Right then."
"And apparently he played my game and stopped when he had to make a choice when I told him about... that in game."
Monika sighed. Of course that would come up. "Sayori, we can get through your depression together. I don't how, but we will."
"I... I hope so." Sayori averted her gaze from Monika.
"Look, let's just get back with Natsuki and Yuri. I bet they wondering why we went into the broom closet."
"Sure. Did Natsuki bring cupcakes today?"
"Duh!"
"Then I'll have two!"
Monika shook her head with a soft smile.
I really hope we can help you, Sayori. For your sake.
Compiler's Commentary:
23.1: Credit to fellow Loops writer Evilhumour, Canada's floofiest export, for inventing the girls' new food-based nicknames during his recent blind run of Doki Doki Literature Club! It was fun times for all.
23.2: *Flustered Monika noises*
23.3: Believe it or not, it never registered with me just how incredibly long Monika's ponytail actually is until I read this.
23.4: Man, what a piece of garbage, amirite?
23.5: Trust me on this, you'd probably rather not know what "Tether-Sayori" entails.
23.6: Before the end of the loop, Natsuki would become a master of the subtle art of beating a grown man into submission with a slipper.
23.7: *Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror" intensifies*
23.8: Oh, hey! A phonetically accurate Natsuki pun!
23.9: It would take Natsuki several loops to stop imagining an intense buzzing in her ears.
23.10: Imperial March, but it's just "Ze, ze, ze, zezeze, zezeze, ZE, ze, ze, zeze".
23.11: This snip, it should be noted, is very Early Days, taking place before the Club's first loop in Equestria.