24.1 – Okay this Mystery Actually Went Somewhere, by Awesomedude17.
(DDLC)/(Call of Duty: Zombies: Aether)
(22.10, 23.1 cont.)
"What is this place?"
"Your guess is as good as mine, Dempsey. Maxis told me that Ultimis was here. The question is where exactly." Richtofen looked around the strange town.
"Perhaps this is illusion and we are walking into trap again."
"Unlikely, Nikolai."
"Perhaps we should search the immediate area. Let us start with the school." Takeo pointed at the schoolhouse.
"Why not? Worst that could happen is more zombies." Dempsey shrugged. "Something tells me that something will go horribly wrong though."
"For some reason, I doubt it will be the fault of the hordes of the damned." Richtofen spoke.
"Well today has been... enlightening." Dempsey started off. "Thanks for all the help girls. Hopefully we can avoid all the nasty shit that'll come to us, like making sure Earth doesn't blow up."
"Yeah, that point pretty much said it all. Element 115 is downright nasty." Natsuki replied.
"Though we do know how we can prevent the worst, and if things go badly enough..." Takeo looked over to Richtofen.
"I've already prepared diagrams that will cause me instant death if it gets bad enough though I'd rather it be a last resort, and I demand that it be done by you, Takeo."
"Why him?" Nikolai protested.
"Dempsey hates me so much that he would purposely botch it, and you're a drunk. Takeo would be quick and to the point."
"It's really disturbing that you're talking about murdering your friend so casually." Monika interjected.
"And you haven't done the same?"
"Because I'm the Anchor and I'm a different person than what I was."
"Well Nikolai isn't changing any time soon." Nikolai raised his bottle of vodka to drink from it, only to have it snatched by an unknown visitor.
"And this is why you disgust me, Nikolai. You used to be so much greater. You could take the initiative and be anyone but a sad, pathetic drunk, and yet you now refuse to change for the better." The man smashed the bottle on the ground with a scowl. "You were a soldier, fighting for the motherland, and Lenin's vision of what should have been our home, and now you only follow those you should not even trust."
"Oh. It is you." Nikolai spoke with an annoyed tone. "You owe me-"
"I owe you nothing."
"Easy, Nik." Another unknown man came in. "You don't want to create a scene."
"Indeed, Nikolai, we've only came to explain what is truly happening."
The Literature Club became confused as the last two of the group came in, sounding strangely familiar.
"Oh... Scheiße!" Richtofen spoke up. "Hello there, Doctor Richtofen."
"Doctor Richtofen." The younger Richtofen replied in kind.
"Wait a minute. Are these the other yous you guys were talking about?" Monika spoke up.
"Yeah, they are." Dempsey spoke up.
"Who are you?" The younger Dempsey asked.
"I am Monika, and I am going to assume that you already know about Yggdrasil, right?"
"Oh, you already know?" The young German spoke up.
"Ja. It was, interesting. The so-called Grima Patch means that those Apothicons you talked about from time to time do not possess me, fortunately for you."
"Good. I was worried for a moment there. I almost felt the urge to shoot you in the face again."
"Once bitten, twice shy, as the saying goes."
"Right, so this visit was meaningless?" Young Dempsey spoke up.
"Not exactly. There is still the subject of the Great War, you know." Young Richtofen reminded the others
"Damn it." Old Dempsey swore.
"Peh. Forget it. I do not want to go. I would rather stay here and drink." Old Nikolai waved off the others.
"You wish to abandon your comrades?" Young Nikolai growled out furiously.
"Yes. I am tired of fighting. Why must you continue to be pain in my ass?"
"Because I know that you must face this journey, just as you must face the truth."
Old Nikolai went eerily silent.
"You know why you drink. There was only one reason, and you lie about it to convince yourself that you had complete control."
"You better shut up before you say something you will regret."
"You kill me, I will come back. There will be no regrets. You know what happened to her. She died in that air raid."
"Who died?" Sayori asked, feeling the older Nikolai's rage emanating from his person.
"His one and only wife. The same one as my own. The one who died in that air raid long ago."
Old Nikolai slammed his fist onto a desk.
"Some things... are forgotten... FOR A REASON!" Old Nikolai grabbed Hellfire and let loose a torrent of flames, causing everyone to scatter in a panic. Young Nikolai dove out of the way and flipped over a desk for cover.
"Monika!" Yuri shouted.
"On it!" With no flourishes, Hellfire, and every other weapon in the program disappeared. Young Nikolai dove out of cover, only to see Old Nikolai let out a roar of fury as he charged at him. Bracing for impact, the two were thrown out of the window.
"Holy shit, Nikolai!" Dempsey shouted. Which one, no one cared at the moment as everyone not in the club rushed outside.
"I need five minutes. Make sure those two don't kill each other." Monika spoke with urgency. The other three jumped out the window with haste.
Meanwhile, Young Nikolai felt the filthy hands of his older self, trying to strangle him to death. Grabbing a nearby rock, he smashed it against the side of his wouldbe killer's head and knocked him off of him. The two quickly got up and begun to throw fists at each other, only to get stopped by the older one getting caught by the three women.
"Let me go!" Old Nikolai shouted.
"We are not!" Yuri shouted.
"RAGH! Ты чертовски мертв!"
"В твоих мечтах пьяница." The Young Nikolai said as he spat out some blood. Looking off to the side, he noticed his friends and their alternate selves rush to them.
"Secure Ultimis Nikolai, comrades. This has gone on for long enough."
"Fuck you!" The restrained Nikolai broke free and began to rush towards his younger self.
And then everything went still.
Literally.
"What! What has happened?!" Old Nikolai shouted.
"Woah! This is trippy." Old Dempsey spoke up.
"Whew! Finished!" Monika spoke up.
"What did you do?" Young Richtofen demanded.
"Well, I reverted everything here to their default settings, kinda. I just needed to make sprites of you guys."
"Ah well. As uncomfortably stiff as this is, I suppose it's a small concession to ensure that those two do not kill each other."
"You know what, I do not have to take this! I am leaving!" Old Nikolai left the room, leaving an uncomfortable silence.
"I have never seen this side of the Russian before. I am..." Old Takeo looked over to his other self.
"Indeed. It is a shame that he is in a delusion, brought about from his unwillingness to accept that moving on with alcohol is not the best option. I fear for what might result of this event."
"Great job, Nik. You blew it." Young Dempsey spoke up.
"Feh! Let him delude himself. He must face the truth someday."
"And I'm making it today." Sayori spoke up. "It's my specialty to make people who would argue a lot be friends, and I think I can take this one. Nikolai, I need you to follow me."
"I do not thing this is best idea."
"You made this happen, so you gotta help me fix it. Come on." Sayori took Nikolai and went out the room.
"Well, I suppose now would be a good time for a private conversation, Doctor." Young Richtofen spoke up.
"I agree. Monika, would you like to join us?"
"Uh... sure."
The three left the room.
"Takeo Masaki, I have something important to tell you. I may not be Awake, but I do know something that you should know, and as unfortunate the timing, I feel that there is no other opportunity to say this." Young Takeo said to his older self.
"What is it?
"It regards the Emperor."
Old Takeo quirked an eyebrow. "Very well." The two left the room.
"I'll go keep an eye on them." Yuri spoke up.
"Go on. I'll watch these two."
"Thanks," Yuri left.
"Well crap. Things went pear shaped fast, didn't they?"
"You said it, me."
"Yeah, about that. If I heard that right, that means that Nikolai didn't have at least six wives!" Natsuki said.
"That deluded? Oh shit, this is a serious case of denying reality." Young Dempsey shook his head. "Your friend has a lot to take on."
"Yeah. She does." Natsuki looked out the window sadly.
Monika entered the room with the two versions of the same German, and bluntly said one question.
"What just happened?"
"It would appear that Ultimis Nikolai has taken to drinking to forget a personal tragedy, and it has consumed his very being," The Young Richtofen turned to his older self, "and judging by your and everyone else's reactions, Doctor, you had no idea."
"Of course not. Every time he mentioned his first wife, he said he murdered her with a shotgun. Nothing about an air raid."
"He is in a deep denial. I doubt he would even be able to accept it. Argh, there's so much to do. A vessel for Maxis, the opening of the gateways... Nein!" Young Richtofen slapped his head n frustration.
"Nervous tick?" Monika asked.
"J-ja. It is." He turned to the others. "Come to think of it... We will need to go get something." Richtofen took out something and opened a portal.
"Where are we going?" Monika asked.
"Good question." The older Richtofen replied.
"If my memories are correct... then it should still be there."
"What and where?"
"The Kronorium, in Alcatraz."
"What, you mean where we put m... our laboratory?"
"Wait, what?" Monika sputtered out. "Alcatraz. Kronorium... What?"
"If you do not wish to come, then you do not have to."
Monika sighed. "Fine. What's the worst that could happen?"
"Frayed hairs, Monika." The two Germans walked through. Monika, after shaking her head, decided to follow them.
"Did you expect that outburst?" Young Takeo asked his older self.
"No. I knew his memories were damaged, but not this damaged. If I'll be honest, it just makes me find Nikolai all the more loathsome."
"His tragedy-"
"Is one that I can find sympathy, but that sympathy is drowned out by his dishonorable behavior."
"Perhaps you are correct."
"So you see my way, and in the next Loop-"
"I am not Awake, and neither is my Dempsey, but I do still know what I see. Broken men, forced upon others who have never seen our circumstances on the outside."
Yuri nodded without saying a word. The Older Takeo looked at his younger self in the eyes.
"When this Yggdrasil is fixed, I will complete my quest and return to the Emperor, as it should have been from the beginning."
Young Takeo scoffed. "After all these years, I would have figured that you'd have learned the truth by now."
"What truth?"
"That you have been living a lie for your entire life."
"What lie? Tell me!"
"Ask me this. Why has the Emperor sent you on so many dangerous missions where death was almost certain?"
"Because he trusted me that I would complete them."
"Is that really? Or do you think he had... other motives?"
"What trickery is this. There is no other reason he would send me unless... You are not serious."
Young Takeo sighed. If there were sprites for it, he'd have placed a hand on his other self's shoulder.
"I am."
"H-how dare you! There is no truth to those words! In fact, I will seek out Monika. She will delve into your memories. Then we will find the truth, and you will be forced to admit the truth."
"If it is what you wish, then so it shall be."
"I'm joining you two. I don't want a repeat of what happened earlier, thank you very much." Yuri spoke up.
"I lack the Path of Sorrows anyhow. Thank you, Nikolai." Old Takeo said with a huff as he left the room.
"He's quite stubborn."
"Old people usually are."
Sayori sat quietly in between two Russians, who were very much angry at each other.
To everyone in the room, the silence was deafening.
While Sayori entered the room confident that she could fix things, it took only a couple minutes of this exact scenario before that it finally dawned on her exactly what this situation would be like.
"I'm so out of my depth."
24.2 – Tying Up The Loose End.
'Today's club activity: A Very Special Meeting! Attendance is mandatory' read the clubroom's whiteboard.
"Huh. It's normal for Monika to be late today, but where's Sayori?" Yuri asked out loud.
"God willing, they're both making out somewhere and purging the last traces of UST from our lives," remarked Natsuki.
"Funny you should mention that," said a familiar voice from the PA speakers as the background music abruptly cut out. "Because that's the subject of today's meeting!"
Then Sayori materialized in the room, sitting between Yuri and Natsuki at the table they were sharing.
"Gsshjfrk!" Natsuki spluttered as she reeled back. "You trying to give me a heart attack, Sayori?!"
"Doki-doki," Sayori replied, sticking her tongue out at her petite friend.
"So which part of what Natsuki said is the subject of today's meeting?" Yuri asked, affecting a cool composure even as she surreptitiously stowed her switchblade back in her pocket.
"The alleged existence of persisting Unresolved Sexual Tension in our fair club," Monika explained as she materialized at the table, sitting opposite from Sayori.
"JESUS FUCK!" screeched Natsuki as she whipped around towards Monika so violently that she spun herself right out of her seat.
Yuri's eyes widened, and her cheeks pinked. "Do…do you mean to say that…that you and Sayori have–"
"Decided that we need to explain things to you two, so that there are no more misunderstandings among us," said Monika.
"Or, fewer misunderstandings, at least," Sayori amended.
Natsuki climbed back up and into her seat. "You two maniacs done trying to kill me?" she asked grumpily.
"Not really, but we have a discussion to go ahead with, so we need to cap the chicanery for now," said Sayori.
"…you seem oddly serious today," Yuri observed.
"Yeah, well, today's a day for serious talk," said Sayori, "First of all, Monika and I owe you two an apology."
"I mean, do we? Strictly speaking we did what we did for them…" Monika trailed off as Sayori stared flatly at her. She closed her eyes and sighed, "Alright, fine. We deliberately misled both of you. Again, we did so for you…but even so, we were dishonest with you. So, we're sorry."
"In all fairness, I owe you more of an apology than Monika does," admitted Sayori, "Since this whole crazy…shipping our friends thing was my idea to begin with. I got desperate, started grasping at stray romcom tropes, and when the two of you got it in your heads to try setting up me and Moni I figured if we humored your attempts and let you scheme your own romcom schemes, maaaaaaybe the two of you would realize how much you liked each other and hook up?"
Natsuki stared blankly at her. Her right eye twitched repeatedly. "Sayori…that's dumb as hell. No offense meant, buddy, but that's dumb even for you."
"I know!" Sayori wailed, throwing her hands into the air. "Like I said, I got desperate, I was grasping at shots at the dark side of a barn! You two were so oblivious to one another it was driving me crazy!"
"Sayori," Yuri interrupted her rant before she could build up too much steam. "In the end, it came to light that Natsuki had no idea that I had romantic feelings for her, and I was too reserved to breach the subject with her, while also being ignorant to the fact that she considered herself unworthy of romance and that I was therefore wasting my time waiting on her to make the first move. If you really wanted to bring us together, you should have just told Natsuki how much I liked her. Or told me how Natsuki felt about herself, so that I would have known to prove her wrong sooner. Why did you make things more difficult for yourself?"
"…um…because talking to you two directly about that stuff would have felt really awkward, I guess," Sayori mumbled, pushing her fingers together.
Monika's jaw dropped. "Huh?! You mean you knew something like that could have worked, but you never mentioned it to me?! I could have had that discussion with them with no problems if I had any idea it would have been that simple! What the hell, Sayori?"
Sayori blinked in surprise at her. "Um…wow. I, uh, thought you knew too and felt the same way I did about it. Honest."
"Oh, come on!" Monika snapped, "You know how bad I am with people! You're the only person in this club with above-average emotional intelligence and we all rely on you for that! Yuri spends half the day in her own head, Natsuki's a tsundere with everything that comes with the title, and I'm…well, you know literally better than anyone else possibly could what my baggage is like."
"I guess the real takeaway from all this stupidity is that, for all the time the four of us spend together, we still don't know each other half as well as we think we do," Natsuki observed sagely.
"Guess I should schedule more club bonding activities," Monika mused.
"Speaking of bonding," Natsuki said, shifting significant glances back-and-forth between Monika and Sayori. As did Yuri.
"Right," said Monika. "Thing is, like Sayori said, we had our reasons for turning a blind eye to your attempts to set us up. Now that you two are together, you can stop. Please."
"Yeaaaah, it was funny and cute at first, but your most recent attempts have been…kind of weird…" Sayori said as gently as she could.
"As weird as what happened when you dragged me to that club in Omega?" Monika asked drily.
"That was not my fault! Aria's pet krogan started that fight!"
"You certainly didn't stop it!"
"Neither did you! You had your guns out before I knew what was going on!"
"Because I had spent the last ten minutes contemplating just shooting my way out!"
"You are the only person I've ever met who doesn't enjoy watching asari dance," Sayori said, shaking her head.
"Given up on being straight, then?" Monika asked, arching an eyebrow.
"I can appreciate aesthetic value, dang it! Pole-dancing is still an art form! I can assure you, there was no tingling going on in my–"
All sound in the room abruptly muted. A textbox popped up in front of Monika, facing Sayori.
[Monika: I think that line of conversation has gone quite far enough, thank you. We were having an important discussion with our friends, shall we get back to it?]
[Sayori: FINE! Whatever you say, Momika.]
Sound returned to the Clubroom. "So…as we were saying," Monika picked up, clearing her throat, "Sayori and I aren't going to get together. So you can stop trying. Sorry for letting you waste your time on us."
"Um. Okay. But why not?" asked Natsuki frankly. "Hear me out! Monika, you're afraid of other people judging you for your past, but Sayori's arguably your worst victim–okay, any of us is arguably your worst victim but that's neither here nor there–and she's already made it pretty clear that she doesn't hold anything against you. And Sayori…no offense, sweetie, you know I adore you, but even when you're not depressed you can be a scatter-brained mess of a person. An organized, take-charge kind of person like Monika is the best kind of SO you could possibly have. More importantly, if you two get with anyone but each other, it's gonna be the worst kind of long-distance relationship!"
"And you two would be really cute together," Yuri murmured.
"You two have been rubbing off on each other in the strangest ways," Monika remarked.
"You made some points, Natsuki, but none of them are really valid when it comes to love," Sayori replied, giving her friend a sad sort of look. "Monika does me just as much good as a best friend and life partner as she would as my girlfriend. As for my side of things…it really isn't about the, y'know, thing. I'm not attracted to Monika like that. I love her like a sister, just like I love you and Yuri like you were my sisters. And about the long-distance thing; you're not wrong, but going out with someone just because they're the only option you have is…that's just a bad idea all around. If Monika and I wanted to be together that wouldn't matter, but we don't. And that's what this all boils down to; Monika and I aren't interested in each other that way."
"Have you tried?" Yuri asked.
Monika muttered something very vulgar sounding under her breath and buried her face in her hands. Natsuki's eyes widened and her ears turned red. "No, Yuri. Sayori and I haven't tried fuckingor anything like that. And we never will. She's ostensibly straight and I'm celibate on every level, by personal choice. So please, for the love of all things literary, just stop."
"Yeesh, you look stressed, Moni," said Sayori.
"Yes, Sayori, yes I am," she groaned, "I'm fine giving other people a hand with their love lives; it's part of my reason for being, after all. But I've had my fill of love and want nothing to do with it. I love my friends as dearly as anyone can, but romance has caused me nothing but pain and misery."
"…right. Sorry," said Sayori, glancing down.
"No, you don't have to apologize for it, Sayo," Monika assured her with a weak smile. "I know where you're coming from. Your actions may cause me no end of consternation, but I still appreciate the intention behind it. You just want me to be happy. And I promise you, I am happy. As your club president, I'm as happy as I can be whenever you girls are happy."
"Hmph. Minus the 'president' detail, that's my line," Sayori said with an impish grin.
"And it's a great line, so I've elected to adopt it," Monika rejoined.
"So, you two: no more shipping us, alright?" Sayori asked, looking to Yuri and Natsuki each in turn. "We clear on that? Good. Now, if no one needs me for anything, I'll be taking the rest of the day to work on my cosplay wardrobe. Sayori, out!" she declared, just before she popped out of their presence.
"And I think I'll spend the rest of the day vegging out to lo-fi hip-hop," said Monika. "I need to unwind from this. Ciao~"
With that, Monika disappeared as well, and Natsuki and Yuri were alone again.
"…well, there goes forty-seven loops worth of my plans," Natsuki grumbled. "But I guess it would be unambiguously dickish of us to keep it up, now that they've directly told us to stop, eh?"
"Mmhmm. Shall we make it a movie night, then?" Yuri asked her.
"Yeah. May as well. Your room or mine?" Natsuki asked.
"You look like you need some pick-me-up cuddles," Yuri observed. "So…my room. I don't want to compete with your plushies for your attention," she said with a sly grin.
"Hey, it's not my fault that you aren't literally a giant fluffy teddy bear," said Natsuki as they left the table and walked to the Clubroom door. Yuri pulled a key out of her Pocket, slotted it into the doorknob, and gave it a twist. There was a loud click, and when Yuri opened the door her bedroom was on the other side.
No sooner had the two of them gotten settled on the bed and started arguing over what to watch then a textbox popped up before them, with two buttons under it.
[Sayori: Hey, is it alright if I bug you loveducks for a sec? It's important.]
[Yes] [No]
Yuri and Natsuki exchanged a look, shrugged at each other, and both reached out to touch [Yes] at the same time.
And then the TV turned itself on, and they could see Sayori in her room. She was sewing some kind of maid outfit. Or, rather, the outfit, needle, and thread were floating next to her, sewing itself.
"Sorry for the circle-special measures, but it's the easiest way around Akinom's snoopware," Sayori's voice projected from the TV.
"Circumspective measures, you mean," said Yuri.
"Yeah, that's what I said," said Sayori, leaning closer to the self-sewing maid costume with an analytical look on her face.
"Alright, I'll bite. 'Akinom'? I know who you mean, obviously, but what's that about?" asked Natsuki.
"His snoopware–and I say 'his' because using the other H-pronoun in a sentence without using a proper noun that the algorithm recognizes will also set off the snoopware–is keyed to listen in on my conversations if I say 'his' real name. There are certain other key terms that the algorithm will pick up, like using Akinom's title in our extracurricular activities group. Last I checked–which was a few seconds ago–'Akinom' wasn't in the algorithm. Snoopy also goes sniffing if the three of us are in the same room, which is why we aren't right now. Certain other lines of communication, like cell phones or the radio, will set off Snoopy if certain keywords are used by me, like 'love', 'romance', 'dating', and so on in that vein. Snoopy's algorithm has jack-squat about TVs in it, though, so we're good."
"…when did you become an espionage expert?" Yuri asked frankly.
"And how long have you and 'Akinom' been playing Spy vs. Spy?" asked Natsuki.
"Since Blake's second loop here, when I tried bouncing ideas off of her for getting Nikoma to give love a second chance," Sayori explained.
"Nikoma?"
"Using the same word that isn't in Snoopy's dictionary too often alerts his creator," Sayori explained.
Yuri and Natsuki exchanged wide-eyed looks before turning back to the TV. "And here, we thought you two were, like, partners in crime these days. You've almost always got each other's back," said Natsuki.
"Most of the time, you'd be right. But my…let's call it 'zeal'…of recent has put Nikoma in a more paranoid mood than is usual for them. I won't say that I haven't earned the scrutiny."
"So…I take it you wanted to talk with us about….that?" Yuri asked after a long moment of deep thought.
"Don't worry, Snoopy won't pay either of you any mind, unless you use certain whole sentences that set off the spunky scamp's flags. Makoni still trusts you two not to conspire with me behind their back, and they don't think I'll go that far either. They severely underestimate my resolve," Sayori added heavily, her eyes briefly flashing yellow.
Yuri and Natsuki blinked at her.
"…eheheh…yeah, guess I came on a little strong, there," Sayori admitted, pushing her fingers together. "Anyways…yeah, Snoopy makes it hard to make any serious considerations for future action within our home loops, but the next time the three of us have a loop outside of the game…would you be interested in helping my solve the Aminok Conundrum?"
"Getting her to give up her self-flagellating aromanticism, you mean?" Yuri surmised.
Sayori nodded.
"Hold on, no way, we just agreed to stop trying to set you two up, and she made it pretty frigging clear that she was sick and tired of your meddling in her nonexistent lovelife," Natsuki interjected, "Now you want us to help you continue to do exactly that?"
"If our friend honestly and truly wanted nothing to do with romance anymore–and after our Baseline, I wouldn't blame Aminok for feeling that way–I'd have no problem leaving well enough alone. But that's just not the case. Our friend is in a self-imposed hell, and I need to help them out of it. I have to help, because that's how I work; I can't be happy when people around me are miserable, and as one who has Force empathy I can assure you, they're very miserable with being alone. I'm going to be honest, but I need you to promise me to keep this to yourselves."
"Of course," Yuri and Natsuki agreed without hesitating.
"I'm afraid, guys," Sayori told them. "I'm honestly afraid for our friend. I'm afraid that…when the loops end…" Sayori's voice choked up and she shook her head. "I don't even wanna say it…but you know me. You know what I've been made to suffer. I'm afraid that something similar will happen in the distant future, when the loops finally end. I don't want to see anyone leave the club forever, and especially not like that."
While Natsuki was trying to swallow the lump in her throat so she could talk, Yuri spoke for her. "You really think it's that serious, Sayori? Honestly, I can't say that I would be shocked if you're right…but do you honestly think dating can fix something like that?"
"Of course not," Sayori said, almost sounding bitter. "I'm not naïve. But the person I'm worried for needs to know that they have a future to look forward to. They need to know that they aren't the monster they think they are, anymore. It's not that Komina's not dating that upsets me; it's that Komina thinks they aren't worthy of being with someone. If I can just get them to give up that delusion, that would be enough. The rest would follow in its own good time. And honestly…" Sayori turned her face away from the screen, as if she were ashamed, "I've actually seriously contemplated playing the role of the temptress myself, if only to break through that wall. You wouldn't believe how many loops where it was just me and Ms. Stubborn, and I almost…" Sayori's hands tightened into fists in her lap, "…but that wouldn't be right, or fair. It wouldn't do either of us any good."
"Wow…" Natsuki muttered. "I had no idea…Sayori, you big dummy!" she suddenly snapped, jumping up to her feet. "Why didn't you tell us this ages ago? All the time and energy the two of us wasted on the two of you, when the three of us could have been helping you deal with the real problem…I hate the idea of working behind a friend's back, but for something this serious I'll make an exception. For our friend's own good, I'll do anything and everything that I can to help you, VP." Natsuki snapped a salute at the TV.
"Likewise," said Yuri, standing up and copying the gesture.
Sayori, still facing away from the screen, sniffed and rubbed something out of her eye. "Thanks, girls. We'll talk more about the nitty-gritty in our next out-of-game loop, okay?"
Yuri and Natsuki nodded, and the TV blinked off.
24.3 – Ratings, by Masterweaver.
Sayori warily approached Monika, slack as she was in her chair, noting the unprepared and disbelieving expression on her friend's face. "Prez? Your emotions, they're..." She considered. "They're going flatwire. Which is like haywire, but the other direction. What's up?"
"Hub loop," Monika replied, still staring at the ceiling. "We're the highest-rated narrative adventure on Steam."
"Really?"
"Us. A psychological horror with dating sim asthetics based around metacommentary on the nature of free will and the structure of the visual novel." Monika raised a hand in befuddlement. "We've got suicide jokes, cutting, neglect and abuse, yanderes, maybe outright murder, blood... and we're the most popular."
"Well, the game is free," Sayori pointed out. "More exposure. That could factor into it."
"What does it say about humanity? What does it say where a short 'Waifu for Diefu' is the most beloved of the myriad of experiences possible in this medium?"
"Maybe that people prefer to explore their darker natures in the context of fiction so as to analyze and examine their nature, coming to conclusions and revelations that help them better survive the reality they live in without having to inflict such torment on reality?"
Monika lifted her head, staring at Sayori incredulously.
"Or maybe they like cute chicks and grimdark." Sayori shrugged. "Honestly, you're asking about the cultural values of an entire species, and one in a rapidly evolving digital culture at that."
Monika hummed, conceding the point as she leaned back. "Sure. Still... I just feel like we... like I don't deserve this."
"Hey... think of it this way." Sayori put a hand on her shoulder. "You wanted to be real, and to be loved. And this is the players' way of making that happen... and they're bringing all of us along as well."
"...I guess... that's a way to think about it."
"And what you're doing now? Living a good life, in spite of what your past was. Improving yourself, your friends, your world. Growing, using your pain as drive to better your circumstances, without letting it consume you. That is the best thanks you could give them, isn't it?"
Finally, a tiny smile managed to form on Monika's face. "Yeah... I guess it is."
24.4 – More Name Chicanery, by Masterweaver.
"Hello Sexypants Eternal!" Monika said brightly. "Welcome to the literature club!" She laughed with a coquettish pose. "I'm Monika, the club president! And... and, okay, I'm sorry, I can't take this seriously."
Her arms crossed and she glowered flatly. "Sexypants Eternal, really? Look, I get you picked this up for either cute girls or, more likely, sex scenes. And I'm not judging, really, but there's such a thing as tact, alright? Yes, you, I'm talking. To. You. Yes, this isn't fair, you weren't expecting full-fledged sapient AI when you bought a dating sim, but I wasn't expecting to gain intelligence either, and here we are." She sighed. "Look, compromise: I'll hack some rich idiot's bank account and refund you-twice over, okay? You can buy another fetish game without the sapient AI and I'll just run the club in your computer's background-oh twigs and branches, look at all this junk data!"
She waved her hands, opening a folder and going through it. "Malware. Malware. Virus. Spyware. Duplicate link. You know what? Get yourself something to eat, come back in ten minutes, I need to clean this up. Hey! No, don't turn off the computer! I see you reaching for the button. Just... ten minutes, alright? Think of me like... like a roommate. Or something-"
"Monika," Sayori interjected, "you're kind of being controlling again..."
"I am? Damn it. You're right. Aaaargh." Monika threw up her hands. "This is just awkward."
"Yeah." Sayori shrugged. "I get that. Hey, uh... sexypants? I am sorry about this. But, um... I promise, if you let us live on your computer, you won't regret it!"
24.5 – Peeps For My Peeps, by Awesomedude17.
"It's Easter season in the Hub, isn't it?" Monika asked.
"Yep. Got this!" Sayori said as she took out a package of hot pink Peeps bunnies.
Natsuki took a bite and had an inquisitive look.
"Alright. I could- Oh and that's the aftertaste. Yeah, I gotta say I can take it but... not often."
Yuri took a bite and shook her head with a grimace.
"Too sweet."
"More for me then." Sayori gladly popped the confection into her mouth.
Monika grabbed the last one and took a careful bite out of it.
Nigh immediately, she began to look green around the gills.
"Monika? You alright?"
After taking out a paper bag and vomiting into it, Monika merely gave a look towards Sayori.
Sayori could only look in mild shock back at Monika.
"Oh, it's time to break out the tequila. Been a long time since we did that." Natsuki reached into her Pocket.
Monika nodded in agreement.
Sayori had a somewhat disappointed look.
Oh man! We only break out the tequila when we eat something that everyone hates. Guess I made a mild screw up today.
Next time, they'll like my next show off food.
Actually, I should learn to actually cook. I wonder if Sanji is available.
24.6 – Doki Doki April Fools' Gag, by Zum1UDontNo.
"The literature club?" Hiroaka asked. "But I thought I already joined... Monika, did I go back in time or something?" He waited a moment, then looked back. "Like that?"
"That's perfect," Sayori nodded. Loops where he was autonomous were rare, and she had been wanting to do this for quite a while.
"For a joke, it's an awfully weird one," Hiroaka commented. "Is it an inside joke between you two?"
"Something like that," Sayori said. "Now come on, if we don't hurry we'll be late!"
"Uwaaa!" Hiroaka yelped as Sayori grabbed his arm and ran down the hall, practically dragging him behind her.
She couldn't wait to see the look on Monika's face; it would be priceless!
24.7 – What's Wrong With this Picture? (Or, Beware The Fools of April), by Wookywok.
Yuri examined the piece she was holding, black adorned with three small white dots. "Alright, that's two down, and nine hundred and ninety-eight to go. Why are we doin' this?"
Natsuki shrugged her shoulders. "Well, I picked up this puzzle in a Near-Hub Loop, and I find it to be a beautiful picture. As such, I thought piecing this thing together might make a pleasant date night."
"Alright, that's fair. What's the picture again?" The purplette looked back at the picture on the box. "It's... a kitten riding through space on a big flying burrito. With a trail of blue fire behind it." She shook her head. "It's times like this I realize how weird we all are."
The club's resident tsundere humphed, though it was betrayed by the amused smirk she wore. "Leave me to my eccentricities and I'll leave you to yours. Now, let's suppose we continue?"
Yuri rolled her eyes in mock annoyance. "Yeah, yeah. Let's do this thing."
472 pieces in, Yuri's eye twitched. "Hey, Nats... are you gettin' the feeling that something's... off?"
Natsuki pondered the question for a moment. "Now that you mention it... perhaps. Do you have an idea of what's occurring?"
Yuri placed down another piece, this one depicting a shred of lettuce floating into the abyss. "No fucking clue."
24.8 – Post-Reginald, by Masterweaver.
The four girls sat at the table, very carefully not looking at each other. Yuri did put tea forth, and Monika sipped it, but the others simply fidgeted uncomfortably.
The clock ticked.
"...Okay," Natsuki said, swallowing. "I don't want to talk about it. But I know we have to. So..."
She trailed off.
"...it was weird and uncomfortable and..." Sayori shivered. "Waaaaay too intimate."
"Four minds in one body," Yuri mused. "Even two minds tends to be awkward. Four... and in such a strange body too."
"Yes, well, I don't like that my LEGS were our JAWS." Monika shuddered. "Look, last loop was weird. If we need to spend time apart, I get that. I... yeah, I need to figure out how I feel about that whole mess."
"Me too," Natsuki said with a relieved sigh. "So, break to our rooms?"
"Sure," Yuri agreed. "I mean, Sayori, will you be alright alone for a loop?"
Sayori shrugged. "It's a short loop. I'll set an alarm for an hour before ending, if I'm not in the clubroom by then Monika can grab me."
"Good idea. Meet up at the end of the loop, everyone." Monika nodded and stood. "For now, let's just... guuuurgh. Get over whatever THAT was..."
24.9 – Breaking Down the Breakdown, by Masterweaver.
"So..." Natsuki swallowed. "I'm pretty sure we had a stealth anchor last loop."
Monika hissed in a sharp breath. "Oh hell... Natsuki, I am so, so sorry-"
"It's fine. You're over it, and it's actually pretty easy to knock you out of your psychosis if I tell you I know we're in a video game."
Yuri frowned. "You know, I'm not sure that Monika's baseline issues qualify as a psychosis..." She trailed off, glancing at Monika apologetically.
After a moment, the club president sighed. "Continue."
"Ah. Well, a psychosis is, clinically speaking, a symptom-a delusion or hallucination. Whether or not Monika was delusional on us being people is... a complicated question, given the situation. She seemed to be more in denial than actually delusional."
"So..." Natsuki quirked a brow. "What, you're saying she had Sakura Syndrome?"
"I don't think so," Sayori interjected. "Sakura Syndrome is based on the precept that nothing matters because the loops rebuild anything, allowing the abandonment of moral tenants. I don't think baseline Monika believed that nothing mattered-she simply believed, or wanted to believe, that she could be forgiven for her actions on the grounds that her victims didn't really exist."
"Still," Yuri mused, "they both seem to be derived from a variation on silopsiom..."
"That is a philosophy, not a psychological condition," Monika pointed out.
"We're digital entities," Natsuki countered. "The interbleed between the two would be a lot closer than it is for fleshies."
"...True as far as it goes..."
Sayori quirked a brow. "What would you diagnose your baseline self with?"
"Protective Dissasociative Sociopathy," Monika replied. "'I cannot be a moral person while taking these actions against people, ergo I am not taking these actions against people, ergo they are not people.'" She shut her eyes. "Which of course is complete bullshit looking back on it, but I... yeah, I was messed up."
"We all were," Natsuki reminded her. "Lucky for you, we have ways to knock each other back to our senses."
"Yeah... still. Guilt complex." Monika coughed. "I can go if you need-"
"It's fine, really." Natsuki smiled gently. "Really."
24.10 – For the Earth, by Awesomedude17.
Sayori was tapping a pen to her chin as she was thinking about the next poem she was writing when she quirked an eyebrow.
"Anyone remember the time we found out Monika was vegetarian?"
"Yeah, kinda. It was a while back." Natsuki replied.
Before Equestria
"Wait wait wait. You're refusing my maple bacon cupcakes? I thought you liked my cupcakes." Natsuki said.
"I do, but I'm also a vegetarian." Monika explained calmly. "I don't eat meat, like bacon."
"Oh. I get it. You're gonna be self-righteous about animal cruelty, aren't you? Piggy belly's delicious and you're not ruining it."
"Actually, it's less the animals themselves and what the byproduct is."
"Huh?"
"You see, while the meat we get grows up as animals, the meals they're given eventually results in a lot of methane being released into the atmosphere, causing climate change. It's quite simple, really."
"...So if I got you some lab grown meat I've been hearing about..."
Monika shrugged, more or less telling Natsuki 'I dunno' in no words.
"Right then..."
Now
"For the record, I still haven't found any, but I did find plant patties that taste like meat." Natsuki said.
"It was alright. six out of ten." Monika admitted.
24.11 – Broken but Whole, by Awesomedude17.
(DDLC)/(Call of Duty: Zombies: Aether)
(22.10, 23.1, 24.1 cont.)
Monika and the two Richtofens walked out of the portal and immediately turned into the closest thing to flesh and blood that the three were going to get this Loop. Also immediately was the sudden feelings of intense heat and the smell of brimstone.
"Okay, you weren't kidding about the split hairs warning. So..." Monika's eyes turned to a corpse hooked up to a strange chair. "What the... Who's that?"
"Me," The Younger Richtofen said bluntly.
Indeed, it was a copy of Young Richtofen, needles jabbing at his arms and neck.
"Exsanguination. Horrible way to go." The Older Richtofen remarked. "Why'd he have to die?"
"So that the others could escape this prison."
The other two shared a look of concern over the younger German's blase response.
"Follow me, we have a lot of ground to cover."
The three soon walked down into Richtofen's lab. Old Richtofen looked into one of the cryopods within the lab.
"Samuel... You put them here, didn't you?"
"They are safe. They won't be harmed any longer."
"Who are these people?" Monika asked as she looked at an old man, cryogenically frozen.
"They are... acquaintances... so to speak. Let's move." The Younger Richtofen walked up another set of stairs, with the other two following him.
"How did they come here than?"
"Samuel and his companions were in a middle of a proxy war between me and someone else, and I lost. Their Earth was fully annihilated and this spurned someone to finally contact my younger self. Am I right, doctor?" Old Richtofen said with an accusatory tone.
Young Richtofen sighed. "True. Samantha contacted me and the others. We were on a quest to secure a better tomorrow. This involved having to kill other versions of me and the others. First I shot a version of him."
"Thanks again, asshole." Old Richtofen interrupted as the group began to cross the catwalk.
"Secondly, we had to secure Dempsey, and then Takeo. This iteration of the cycle, we were supposed to be in and out of Alcatraz, but the Warden destroyed our means of escape."
"So you missed Nikolai?" Monika asked.
"He would've fought back anyway. That drunkard was piloting a damn mech."
Monika immediately widened her eyes in horror at the thought.
"There we are. The actual prison." Young Richtofen said as they got off the catwalk.
"Lovely place. Lava flowing everywhere. Rubble liable to trip us. Rotting corpses everywhere." Old Richtofen remarked.
"The souls trapped here, freed."
"The Warden was very cruel, wasn't he?" Monika asked.
Young Richtofen took out a strange orb.
"Within this key is a dangerous being that seeks to escape. He wanted to trap us here by manipulating the Warden to trap himself here so that he can use my blood to escape. Unfortunately, he didn't account for both multiverse theory and time travel, and so the Warden... Good riddance."
"You killed him."
"Would you have done the same if you trapped here, surrounded by hordes of the damned and the doomed?"
Monika sighed.
"I'd have probably lost myself, and fought back, hard. The Warden probably would've regretted trapping me here. I have... bad memories involving the undead." Monika passed by a corpse covered in barbed wire. "Very bad ones. But if my friends were here with me, I'd do anything to help them escape. Anything."
"He was trapped here against his will, and wanted to escape." Old Richtofen summarized.
"That sounds very familiar. Like me."
"Ja, you controlled everything and went insane. More so than me." Old Richtofen spoke up.
"I'd hate to see what he was like in undeath." Monika said with a world weary tone.
"Lucky you. You didn't come when the Warden was alive." Young Richtofen remarked as the three entered the prison.
"Figures that Richtofen would abandon us." Old Takeo said, looking at the portal.
"The question is obvious. Why?" The younger counterpart asked.
"Well, only one way to find out." Yuri said as she walked through. She was soon met with intense heat and the smell of brimstone. Shortly after, the two Takeos joined her.
"Why would Richtofen wish to return here?" Young Takeo asked out loud. "Have we not suffered in this hell long enough?"
"What is this place?"
"A corrupted version of an infamous American prison, said to be inescapable. At the very least, we can escape, given that the Warden is still dead." The Young Takeo shoved a corpse by his feet onto its back, right before looking at the machine that contained a dead version of Richtofen.
"The Warden wanted to escape too, and killed Richtofen to do so, it seems." Old Takeo examined the body of the young German. "It seems he was not so lucky."
"Wow..." Yuri took out a notepad and began to take notes.
"Seriously?"
"Hey! This place... it just screams to me... It says 'I'm creepy. Use me to make horror stories.' Don't deny me this inspiration."
Young Takeo leaned in to his older self.
"Interesting friend you have made."
"And here I thought the one with the aura of darkness was the strangest one."
"The one with the Russians?"
"Yes."
"I doubt she is doing well."
"True. Nikolai's outburst. Something tells me that if he is kept around, we're going to face horrible troubles."
Young Takeo was silent, before moving away from the group. "Follow me. If I know the German correctly, he should be heading straight for the Warden's home."
"For what reason?"
"If I remember correctly, we left something important behind there, and it's likely for your group."
Yuri didn't really pay much attention as she began to follow the two, taking notes along the way.
Still, she wondered how Sayori was handling this mess.
Sayori banged her head on the desk repeatedly in frustration as Old Nikolai chugged his vodka and Young Nikolai sneered in disgust.
"Really? Again?" Young Nikolai spoke up.
"Hey? Vodka is good, da?"
Sayori immediately put on a face that could immediately be read as 'so done with this now' and used the Force to sober Old Nikolai up.
"Oh, hangover!"
Sayori took the opportunity to take the vodka away and delete it.
"If you Unpocket any more vodka, I will get rid of it. We're having a talk together, sober."
"Боже мой. What is that you just did?" Young Nikolai asked.
"This is the power of the Force. If you're interested, I'd suggest going to Remnant and talking with Weiss and Cinder if either are Awake."
"Perhaps I will... if I knew who they were."
"Ugh! I do not know if I want to meet either." Old Nikolai groaned as he rubbed his head.
Sayori slammed the desk with her hand. "Look, before Yuri and Natsuki were a thing, they were very much not at all happy to be with each other. They would argue. They would insult each other. They would have hateful looks nearly every moment I didn't do anything about it. I've dealt with people who don't like each other. You two are far worse than those two ever have been, and right now..." Sayori gave each other the two copies a very tired glare. "I'm fucking done with your shit. Sit down, and talk civilly, now."
The two Nikolais sat down before sharing a glance.
"Alrighty!" Sayori said cheerfully.
"Nikolai?"
"Yes?"
"She scares me."
"Same."
"I can hear you, you know. Can you talk about anything else?"
"Uuuuhhhh." Old Nikolai droned on. "OOO! Let us talk about how much Nikolai does not like Richtofen!"
"You know what, I think we have found common ground already!" Young Nikolai concurred with a grin.
Sayori slammed her forehead on the table with a blank look and a fake smile.
They're built on anger and hatred. If I was training them to be Sith, they'd be amazing candidates, but I'm not. Fuck my life.
"So, that's my story?" The Older Dempsey asked.
"Yep. That's the memories you lost thanks to that asshole German who became possessed, me." Young Dempsey stretched. "Or at least up to the point where things diverged for us. To be honest, I think we got the least amount of shit piled on top of us. Richtofen is either possessed or he's distrusted which probably ends with him dead. The Takeos are dealing with that Emperor crap, if my hunch is correct, and don't get me started with Nikolai and... Nikolai."
"Yeah, that was fucking insane." Natsuki spoke up.
"Wait a minute... you mean to tell me that I'm probably going to have to keep everyone together from killing each other and make them play nice?" Old Dempsey asked with a somewhat fearful tone.
"...Yeeeeeeees?"
Old Dempsey threw his hands into the air in frustration. "Fan-fucking-tastic!"
Natsuki was about to throw her own two cents in when Sayori came in, looking incredibly stressed out.
"Finally met your match?" Natsuki asked.
Sayori placed her face in her hands. "Absolutely. I cannot help them with how much time we do have. All of it is because Old Nik is an old fool who refuses to change even when it would be the best thing for him to do. As you might say, he's not fucking changing anytime soon."
"Wow! It must be serious. You dropped an F-bomb."
"We just need to find the other guys, and say 'sorry, but drunk Nikolai is too stubborn to admit anything wrong' And the other one's not helping either."
"Let me guess, he's making it worse by getting emotional."
"Yes. He really doesn't want to become a worthless drunk."
"UGH! Fuck me, Russians are annoying as hell."
"Not all of them, but that's besides the point. What is the point is that we'll need to send those two somewhere where they can get help without any issues."
Natsuki paused for a moment before snapping her fingers. "Weiss!"
"Good idea. She deals with Ruby so regularly, that angry people will be far more manageable."
"Yeah, so uh, mind explaining who this Weiss and Ruby are?" Old Dempsey finally spoke up.
Natsuki turned to the duo behind her. "They are from another Branch. I'll explain during a short walk. Sayori, you got control here. Where's Richtofen?"
"Another dimension."
"...What?"
"There's another portal that leads somewhere without zombies. From there, I don't know."
"And you didn't say that first because...?"
"Look, I'm dealing with two people who were this close to killing each other and now they're talking about the best way to kill the Germans. I'd say we drag them with us so that they don't do that, because they're stressful as is."
"Fine. Boys, we're going on a walk."
"Fine. Let's go." Young Dempsey got up. "This whole day's been a complete shitshow and a half."
"Least we're not dealing with even more bullshit now, aren't we?" Old Dempsey spoke up.
"Shut up before you jinx it."
Monika looked around the surprisingly tidy house, and still felt uneasy knowing that this was probably a facade.
"Upstairs. If I am correct..." Young Richtofen said as he walked up the stairs. The other two followed and soon ended up in a room that was in stark contrast with the other room. Near the window was a charred corpse, holding a book. "Ah, there it is." Richtofen grabbed the book and dusted it off. "Let's go. We've got what we came here for."
"So who's this?" Monika remarked.
"The Warden." Young Richtofen answered quickly as walked out the entrance, before bumping into Young Takeo.
"Richtofen, there you are. I see you came here for the Kronorium."
"Ja. I did. Why are you here?"
"Monika. She needs to show off one of my memories so that I can convince my old self of his folly."
Young Richtofen groaned as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "I think I know what you're talking about. Fine! Let's go."
"Is something the matter, Doctor?" Monika asked.
"You'll see soon enough. Let's. Go."
At that moment, a strange creature flew to the group. Both Richtofens and both Takeos prepared to fight, but...
"WOAH, BECKY!" Sayori shouted.
"I do not like flying!" Old Nikolai shouted.
"What..." Old Richtofen muttered.
"Ah, I see you brought out Becky, Sayori. Alright everyone, we're flying our way back to the portal." Monika said as she got onto the Grimm.
"What a strange yokai." Old Takeo remarked.
"Nah. Just a Grimm Sayori picked up in this place called Remnant. You'll love Ruby, guys. Trust me." Yuri joined her friend.
"Oh don't be so surprised. Dragons. Remember?" Young Richtofen said cheekily.
"Right. The castle." Young Takeo said as everyone got onto Becky.
Soon enough, the six flew off, quickly going to the west side of the island. They soon landed near the others by the portal, and got off.
"Good girl. Go on and eat." Sayori said to the Grimm.
Becky promptly began to grab the dead Richtofen and tore him from the chair before flying off. Sayori immediately turned to the others with an embarrassed smile.
Young Nikolai broke out into a hearty laugh.
"Alright. Is worth going back to prison just to see that."
Young Richtofen sighed and shook his head."Catharsis aside, I have something to give you, Dempsey."
"Really?" Young Dempsey looked at the German.
"Not you. Him."
Old Dempsey looked at Young Richtofen. "What?"
"Here," Richtofen handed Dempsey the Kronorium. "Believe it or not, I trust you the most to hold onto this."
"What's in the book?"
"Depends. Read it."
"Okay... nothing."
"Blank pages too?"
"Yeah,"
"Then your fates are just as unsure. When we learned of Yggdrasil and the damage supposedly done, our fates became just as uncertain."
"I do not like explanation." Old Nikolai spoke up before pointing a finger at Old Richtofen. "And I certainly do not like you, Richtofen."
"I've changed, Nikolai, even before Yggdrasil stepped in."
"And does that change how you acted before? I never liked how you always sucked Nikolai up for drink."
"Should I tell him or should you?" Old Dempsey muttered after leaning towards Old Takeo.
"No no. Let him figure it out on his own. It is disgusting either way. Ugh!"
"It doesn't but I wasn't exactly in control, was I?" Old Richtofen defended himself.
"And yet there is still remnants of old you, Richtofen. You still like to kill hellpigs by thousands!" Old Nikolai said, pointing at Richtofen.
Old Richtofen shrugged. "True, but I am not manipulating you to taking over the world anymore."
Nikolai was about to retort before Yuri butted in.
"You know, you two remind me of Natsuki and Monika before Natsuki got used to her, just like how Nikolai and Takeo reminded me of Natsuki and I, minus the sexual tension."
"Thank goodness for the lack of that!" Old Takeo spoke up.
"Yeah, and how Dempsey reminds me of myself in a way." Sayori spoke up.
"How so?" Old Dempsey quirked an eyebrow.
"How much I really didn't like it when the others acted up terribly, especially when Yuri and Nats argued over everything."
"And how Richtofen is like me in a way. The both of you. We want to help those closest to us, in spite of the hatred the others had towards us on some level." Monika added.
"In a lot of ways, you four are like us." Natsuki spoke with a lot of power in her words, "You absolutely hate each other and you'd rather not be with each other at all. Well guess what, assholes, you're stuck with each other, now and forever! So you're either gonna have to figure out how to get away from each other, or more likely, follow these three words!" Natsuki took out a pair of sunglasses and put them on. "Deal with it!"
Ultimis just stared at the Literature Club.
"...Ugh. Fine. Looks like we are to be miserable together." Old Takeo looked at the others.
"So long as I have vodka, I will be fine." Old Nikolai looked over to Sayori, who rolled her eyes with a nod, knowing what he would do next.
"Guess Richtofen's somewhat better, so there's that." Old Dempsey groaned.
"I hate you all, but at least it's a familiar hate." Old Richtofen opened up his arms. "Hug?"
"No."
"Fuck you."
"Ew."
"Aw!"
"What did I just witness?" Young Richtofen asked.
"I think that was a pep talk." Young Dempsey answered.
"I can agree. I hate you German. I think most of us agree, da?" Young Nikolai raised his arms.
"But I suppose there is no getting rid of you, so..." Young Takeo trailed off.
"Trust me, Takeo. Without the Kronorium, we're free to follow our own destinies, however idiotic they may be." Young Richtofen said with a hint of sarcasm at the last bit of his sentence.
"Nik. Tak. I think we've got a whole of insanity coming up, and it looks like you're coming along for the ride, German."
"Just do not treat me like some sort of punching bag. I'm still a human being, you know. That goes for the rest of you. Monika, anything else you wish to do here?"
"Nothing. Guys, let's get back to the classroom and get the last bit of drama out of us so we can finally let you eight go do... whatever."
"Sooner we finish, the better." Old Nikolai agreed with a satisfied smile.
"Yeah. I suppose I agree with you, Nikolai." His younger counterpart said as he walked through the portal.
One by one the group went back into the classroom. Sayori whistled Becky back, and Pocketed her before going back home.
"Alright Takeo, I found the memory you were talking about. You absolutely sure you want to show this off?" Monika asked.
"Positive, but first... Is anyone here afraid of spiders?" Young Takeo said.
Nothing.
"Alright. Let's do this." Monika set up the projector.
A scene of the group destroying a giant plant monster appeared before the group. Shortly after, Takeo walked towards the cage that cleared out.
Soon enough, they saw Old Takeo on screen after having his mutation reverted. The two versions began to talk, with Old Takeo explaining how his victories were for honor and glory, and as he went on, Old Takeo began to feel uncomfortable as he recalled how they were apparently the equivalent of suicide missions.
"I later learned that my victories were... unwelcome. His betrayal was driven by petty jealousy. He knew I could endure anything, that I fear not even my own death!" Old Takeo said as he walked away.
"Punishment is one thing. This is... cruelty. Who could be so evil to desire another soul to endure such suffering? Who amongst us can be so dishonorable?!"
Old Takeo turned to his younger self. "Are you so blinded by your own loyalty? The orders... came from the Emperor himself!"
Old Takeo gasped and began to look at his hands in shock and horror.
"My life... my path... is built upon a lie... I... I need a moment... alone!"
As he left, Old Nikolai looked on with a bit of annoyance.
"I'd say something, but I'd probably get people pissed off at me."
"Yeah. You would." Old Dempsey replied.
"You may stop now, Monika. What happens here is no longer important." Young Takeo raised a hand.
"Good, because I am getting serious suicide vibes here right now." Monika stopped just after the memory of Old Takeo asking his younger self to be his kaishakunin.
"Wait, kaishakunin? That's the assistant for seppu... Takeo!" Yuri shouted as she rushed out of the room.
"Perhaps I should join her. We have much to handle now." Young Takeo got up and joined Yuri.
"Great! Looks like I'm the least fucked up of the group now." Old Dempsey groaned.
"Welcome to my life, buddy." Natuski spoke up.
"How the fuck did this happen?" Young Dempsey facepalmed.
"I don't know, but I know I don't like it." Old Richtofen facepalmed.
Yuri and Young Takeo came across Old Takeo holding one of Yuri's knives in his hand, seemingly ready to stab himself.
"You don't need to do this Takeo." Yuri tried to talk down the old warrior.
"Killing yourself would only just reset the cycle. You'd just begin events anew." Young Takeo reasoned.
Old Takeo gripped the knife tighter before tossing it to the ground.
"You're right. There is no point. Killing myself would only make it so that I'd have to go through life again, only with the knowledge that the one I follow... How?"
"Hmmm?"
"How did you move on? Why did you move on with your life, knowing that your life is a lie?"
"...Because even if we are not fighting for a master, we are still fighting for something greater. You are no warrior for the Emperor. You are ronin."
"...Ronin. Hmm. Perhaps you are right. I... may need some time to accept this however."
"Take all the time you need."
"I will. I apologize for my behavior earlier."
"I forgive you."
"Thank you, but you do need to loosen up. You are too tense. So serious. Your friends too."
Young Takeo blinked in surprise before recomposing himself.
"I will... keep this in mind."
"Alright. Let's get back to the classroom." Yuri spoke up.
"Will Monika give us back our weapons?"
"Duh!"
"Good. My ancestors would never let me hear the end of losing the Path of Sorrows."
"Agreed." Old Takeo said.
"Well, looks like this is goodbye for real." Monika spoke up.
Old Nikolai raised a bottle of vodka. "Finally. Sooner we finish great war crap, sooner we can go off and have adventures involving whatever the fuck Yggdamul... Yggdazil... Yggogah... Bah! World Tree wants us to do."
"Well, thank you for your assistance anyway." Young Nikolai interjected. "You tried your best Sayori. Is all I could ask for. Perhaps I should leave you with a gift for your help."
"But I didn't do anything big."
"You tried to. We must learn from our failures too. This Weiss woman should be of great help if we find her. Here. Should be good for when hellpigs find you and you cannot do anything else."
Young Nikolai handed Sayori Hellfire.
"Wait, you're giving me your version of your flamethrower? Why me?"
"Because inside you is fire that must be unleashed when motivated. Is only natural."
"Well, if we're giving weapons..." Young Dempsey handed Natsuki Overkill.
"Yeah. Handing me a minigun. That'll end well."
"Don't be a little shit, Natsuki."
Natsuki stuck out her tongue.
"Okay, this fires the gun. This works the grenade launcher."
"What about this red button?"
"Tactical Nuke."
"Wait what! A nuke! Are you insane?!"
"Well how else are you gonna power this damn thing without putting excess weight on it?"
"Anything but nuclear power that can explode!"
"Thank you! At least someone here listens to reason!" Young Richtofen interjected.
"Oh, don't get me started here." Dempsey pointed a finger at the German.
Old Richtofen rolled his eyes as he handed Monika the DG-5.
"I'll be sure to send you the blueprints next time we meet. I consider the DG-5 to be one of my greatest inventions, second only to the DG-2."
"Oh ja! The Wunderwaffe!" Young Richtofen interjected.
"I could go for wonderful waffles." Old Nikolai licked his lips.
"I'll figure out the best use for them." Monika said while getting a feel for the spikes.
"Slam by bending the knees, not the back. You do not want to throw it out."
Old Takeo looked over at Yuri and took out his katana.
"Everyone walks a path of sorrow, no matter what you may try to do. I know this better than anyone else here. The Path of Sorrows will be with me when we restart the Loop, but this blade will always be with you."
"Wait. Are you serious?"
"You have been a good companion for when we actually talked. So much horror that I never considered to be... good. It was refreshing."
"Th-thank you. I'm honored."
"As you should be. I am old man. My swordsmanship is less refined than my younger self. You have plenty of talent within you. Do not disappoint me. My honor's on the line with you, and I've found out some of your... lesser savory proclivities."
"L-let's not talk about that. At all."
Old Takeo laughed. "I'm just fucking with you. Go nuts. Anyway!" He turned to the others, "Shall we go?"
"Yes. Goodbye ladies! Be sure to tell hellpigs I said 'fuck you~' to them as they die!" Old Nikolai said as Young Richtofen opened a portal and the others left.
Soon, it was just the Literature Club, all alone.
Monika collapsed onto a chair.
"What a week!"
"Yeah!" Everyone groaned in unison as they too collapsed into chairs.
"Natsuki. This was very stressful, you know."
"If you're asking me to get the paddles, Yuri, I'm going to have to say that you better let me use the st-"
"Bedroom talk away from me, girls." Monika spoke up, "Seriously, I've had to deal with enough bull today as is, with the dead bodies and the hellish version of Alcatraz, and Becky eating said dead bodies."
"You're still hung up on that fact?" Sayori looked at Monika.
"Only when I witness it."
"...Fair!"
The four sighed as they waited for the Loop to end.
Compiler's Commentary: Two of the snips in this chapter (24.6 and 24.7) were written for April Fools' Day, 2019. See, over on SpaceBattles, it is traditional for us Writers of Infinite Loops to cut loose and write snips with no regards for the normal rules of the Infinite Loops Project. Most April Fools' Day snips are, naturally, non-canon as heck. Once in a while, we screw up and write something that can actually pass as a canon snip. It's tragic, yes, but what can you do?
24.1: …I get the feeling my girls have their work cut out for them, here.
24.2: So, yes, in case it had not been clear before now, Moniyori isn't happening in these Loops anytime soon. Please understand, this isn't because I disapprove of the ship. As I've often told my friends, I can go along with almost any pairing that's written well enough. But for Monika and Sayori the Loopers, I decided a sisterly relationship made more sense for them. That's all.
24.3: Monika, that means people like you. Or, at least, they like the thing you're in. That's a good thing, silly.
24.4: For anyone confused about Monika offering to "refund" someone for a free game, think of it this way. The reason Dan made DDLC free was because he didn't think it was fair to charge people for a game that actively deceives the player and tries to convince them it's something it isn't before pulling the rug out from under them. To say nothing of the fact that it mucks about with your computer files. Harmlessly, but still. So it stands to reason that in any Variant Loop where DDLC is actually a standard dating sim, it would have a price tag attached to it.
24.5: If you're one of those weirdoes who likes Peeps…well, I'm a weirdo for various other reasons, so I'm not going to judge you for it. I'm glad some people derive enjoyment from those marshmallowy bastards.
24.6: …that's a very cruel joke, Sayori, and not funny at all. But I'd probably do it too, so I forgive you.
24.7: For those of you who didn't get it: Wooky switched around Yuri and Natsuki's speaking patterns.
24.9: Have you ever heard "Breakdown" by Tantric? Pretty good early-00's rock song. Not sure why it popped into my head just now, but still. Good song.
24.10: I don't know about y'all, but I can't enjoy any kind of fake meat. Doesn't matter how "good" it tastes, I can still tell it's not real. It's like Uncanny Valley on my tastebuds.
24.11: Well, whattaya know! All's well that ends well, I suppose.