Author's Note: More story, for all you wonderful reviewers out there!

Whoever said that it'll all be alright in the morning has clearly never been in my life. An evening of disturbed sleep, of tossing and turning, and of seeing nothing but James Potter's eyes swimming in my vision has not helped to clarify my mind. Not in the slightest. If anything, I think it's actually made it worse.

What I really need, now, is for me to walk downstairs and catch James Potter teasing and maligning an innocent first year. Then I'll forget all about these stupid... feelings... whatever they are. I'm... not thinking about it. Really.

- - - - - -

OK, ok, so I am. But that doesn't mean I'm going to do anything about it. He's still James Potter; the stupid little boy who has been the bane of my existance since first year. One meaningful look one evening in the Common Room is not going to change that.

All this really comes down to, I guess, is a matter of willpower. I simply have to force myself not to think about him. Not to look at him, into those deep, grey eyes of his. Not to have... feelings for him.

Easy.

Right?

- - - - - -

Well, Muggle Studies went really well. Didn't look at James once.

OK, so he wasn't in the lesson, but I'm not in the mood to nit-pick.

- - - - - -

Just had Transfiguration. Let's not even talk about it.

- - - - - -

OK, OK, we'll talk about it. I can't believe I'm arguing with myself in my diary... I'm blaming the stress.

So, James was in class. Obviously. It's his best class, he's not likely to miss it.

And... he kept looking at me. And I kept looking at him, despite my resolution not to. And then... then, we both looked together. I just felt a blush creeping up my cheeks, and then I looked away, and I haven't been able to get my eyes off the floor since.

I ran outside practically on the bell, and down to my favourite thinking spot, by the lake, where I write so often. That's where I am now, just sitting and writing and wondering if I can pinpoint the exact moment when the world as I know it fell apart. I'm coming to the conclusion that it's been happening on a slippery slope for far too long for that to be possible.

I spy a figure coming towards me. For a moment I panicked that it was going to be James, but no. It's the one person I actually could do with talking to now; one Remus Lupin. I'll stick the quill on record again.

"Hey Lily." He's taken a seat beside me on the wall.
"Hey." Even I can hear the dejected tone in my voice, despite my best efforts to hide it.

"Enjoying the weather?" How can he be so calm at a time like this? It's infuriating. "Not really." "Ah." Ah? What's that supposed to mean?

"Remus. You know I love your company, but really"
"Yes, there is another reason for me following you out here, as you very well know." Damn him for knowing me too well. "Hmm." That's right, I have no words. None left. All gone.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He's doing the cute and approachable thing again. I think it's that which makes him so easy to talk to. He always looks like he's listening.

"I don't know." Do I? Maybe I need to. "I... I don't know how to say it." "James giving you trouble again?" Still with the innocent looks. "Ha!" Where to begin?
"I take that as a yes?" Now he's just being infuriating.

"Yes, yes, Remus. He's driving me up the wall. Around the bend. Crazy. Loony. Nuts. I can't stand it anymore. All I can think about-" Let's stop there for a minute, shall we? The awkward pause is feeling unloved. Let's give it a chance to appear in this chapter. I think Remus knows what I was going to say anyway, and it stops me having to say it at any rate.

"He's not all that bad, you know." Remus is staring into space, lost in his own world now. "Do you think I'd be friends with him if he was? He's actually a rather decent sort." Cute smiles. "You know he thinks the world of you."

That's not the point. I know that he.. I... Oh. I can't even bring myself to think it, let alone say it. Cares for me. I know that he cares for me. He's never left me in any doubt.

"I know." "And?" What does he mean, and? I can't do anything but look puzzled at that remark. "And you aren't all that averse to him, are you Lily?"

What can I say to that? Admit it? To Remus? To myself? I don't know if I can.

"Lily, you know I'd never get you into anything I didn't think would be the best thing in the world for you, because you know I want nothing for you but the best. So remember that, when I tell you to go and talk to James."

I still can't manage words. I'm just sitting here, mute, looking at Remus. I'm overwhelmed; by Remus' kind words, by his soft voice and manner, by what he's suggesting I go and do. Part of my wished I could just wave my wand and make it go away, but then there's another part of me which stirs at the thought of a quiet conversation with James.

"You don't need me to work this out, Lily. But you know where I am, if you decide that you do." And he's smiling at me, with those adorabley cute eyes, and he's leaving me alone here.

I don't know what to do now. I know he's right, really. I know I should talk to James.

But I close my eyes, and I see James looking back at me, and I wonder if I'm thinking straight. And if I care if I am or not.

I don't think I do.