Author's Note: This is a short one. Sorry, no excuse for it, other than it has to be to set up the next chapter!
It's a Saturday today. And about time I had a weekend, if I do say so myself. A day to have a lie-in, to relax.
Or, in my case, a day to have a lie-in, where I can stay in bed and think over what Remus said to me yesterday afternoon.
I managed to avoid contact with pretty much anyone yesterday after our little heart-to-heart, and since I've been in bed all morning I've been fairly isolated this morning too. I can't decide what I feel, let alone what I should do about it. It's so confusing.
I've always known, in my life, exactly what I was feeling, where I was going and what I was doing. I've never worried about the future, because it was always obvious what would happen next; either because others expected it of me or I expected it of myself. The last big surprise in my life was finding out that I was a witch, and that I was coming to Hogwarts. That was over six years ago, so maybe it's no wonder that now, when I'm finally facing another surprise in my life, that I'm a little bit thrown for six.
I can't shake the niggling feeling though, that I shouldn't be surprised by it. That it's something that's been going on for longer than I know, longer than I'm willing to think about.
But all of that is academic. I am faced with this decision, this choice. I am faced with James. And in lieu of knowing what to do about it, I think that I'm going to follow Remus' advice and talk to him.
If I can work up the courage to do it.
- - - - - -
I've made it all the way to the library. I don't know exactly why I think that James will be here, or that he'll be alone enough to talk to. He always seems to be surrounded by the other three troublemakers, so I don't know what has possessed me to think that today will be an exception. Still, I have no other ideas, so here I sit. Watching, and waiting.
At last - the door. Four Marauders; well, better than none I guess. I'm behind my favourite bookcase again before I know it, and they haven't seen me. I can't hear them; they're too far away, but somehow it doesn't matter today. I can see them. I can see James.
He's looking more cheerful than when I saw him last. His grey eyes are shining, and he's smiling. I don't know what's made him happy but I'm hoping a little that it's somehow related to me.
Stop it, stop thinking that Lily. Don't let yourself think those things. Just... don't.
Wait a minute - is that them leaving? No... this is interesting... this is Remus, Sirius and Peter leaving. James is staying. On his own. Without anyone else around.
I'm frozen to the spot with fear. This is my chance, my opportunity, but I can't bring myself to move. I don't know what to say, what to do. How do you start such a conversation? 'Hey James, just wondering whether you were fancying me today, um, because I think I'm falling for you'.
Or not.
Well, I have to say something. I won't be able to live with myself if I let this opportunity pass me by. Quill on record in bag. Steeling myself for the situation. Stepping out from behind the bookcase. He hasn't seen me still; he's reading a book. Good for me. Another step towards him. Good, good, making progress.
Wait- A hand on my shoulder. It's Ellie. She looks upset- I wonder what's up?
"El"
"Oh Lily, I'm so sorry!" Now she's crying. I don't understand.
"El? Tell me, what's the matter?" "It's your Aunt, Lily. She's... she's been in an accident." What?
"My- what"
"Your Aunt Anna. Lily, I'm so sorry." I don't know what to think. My mind is a blur. My dear, sweet Aunt Anna. "How? Why?" My voice is cracking with emotion and my eyes are flying around the room looking for something to lock on to, something real. I just see books; books; bookcases; James. He's looking up at me, concern in his eyes.
"Something at the Ministry. I don't know any details. I'm sorry, Lily." My mind is whirling. "She's been taken to St Mungo's." I have to visit her. I have to go now.
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