29.1 – Familiarity, by Skaz Wolfman.
(DDLC)/(Shelter)
Rin Awakened in a bed that she knew very well, but instead of being in the middle of a field as usual, it was in a very typical looking teenage girl's bedroom. She tried to call on her tablet, but it didn't come to her. 'Not in the simulation. Wonder whose loop I'm in today.'
The life of a Travelling Looper, Rin discovered, was very unpredictable. You never knew what the next loop would bring. One day she was in the Mushroom Kingdom learning to bake with Princess Peach, the next she was on the starship Enterprise exploring the wonders of the galaxy. She had even shared a handful out of the last hundred-thousand loops hanging out with her fellow Travelling Looper, the Travelling Looper, Jenny Everywhere. Those were always exciting: she really knew how to have fun in any loop.
Rin closed her eyes and let her memories for this loop pour through her mind…
Rin bolted up, eyes wide and glistening, hand clapping over her mouth to stifle a gasp. She tore out of her room right away, not even bothering to change out of her nightclothes. She flew down the stairs, into the kitchen, where her father was making breakfast. But he wasn't just her father in this loop, he was her father, the real one, whom she hadn't seen in hundreds of thousands of loops. She slammed into his side, hugging him as tightly as she could. She wept tears of happiness into his shirt as he hugged her back, understandably very confused but not about to ask her what was wrong just yet. His fatherly intuition told him his little girl just needed him to be there, for the moment.
…
Three months later:
Monika was in the middle of cooking a spicy vegetable stir-fry when she heard a rapping at her living room window. A window to a balcony that looked out over the streets of Tokyo, eight stories below. Monika turned off the electric wok and peeked out of the kitchen. A familiar teenaged girl was standing there. Quite calmly, Monika crossed over and opened the window. "Good evening, Rin. Hungry? I was just finishing dinner. I usually make extra, for quick and easy lunches you know."
"Good evening…" Rin paused, frowning.
Monika chuckled, rubbing her arms. "Come in, would you? It's cold outside."
Rin squeaked and hurried in, and Monika shut the window. "Sorry, I hadn't noticed. Temperatures between -50 and 200 degrees* all kind of feel more or less equally mild, to a Kryptonian body," she apologized.
(*Celsius, obviously.)
"You're fine," Monika reassured her as she returned to the kitchen, turning the wok back on to finish her stir-fry. "I suspect you're enjoying this Loop so far?"
"Yes," said Rin from somewhere behind her.
"Grab a couple bowls out?" Monika asked after a few minutes of awkward silence, after which her cooking was done.
"Yes, Mo…Monika," she replied.
"I'll admit, I'm surprised you bothered to look me up. I suspect you don't see Shigeru very often these days, being a Traveller and all," said Monika conversationally as she filled the bowl Rin had offered her. She gestured for the teen to help herself as she made her way to the living room and sat down at the kotatsu. "Ahhhh~," she sighed happily as she stuck her half-freezing feet under the blanket.
Rin soon joined her, still wearing a troubled expression. Monika dug into her food, and rather than say whatever was on her mind Rin followed her lead. They ate in silence, Monika continuing to appear oblivious to the tension in Rin's posture.
It wasn't until after Monika had washed both of their bowls and started stowing away the leftovers in the fridge that Rin finally half-ran into the kitchen and blurted out, "Why did you leave?!"
Monika regarded her with a raised eyebrow. Rin blushed and said, "You were…you're my mother, this loop. Why did you leave me, and Daddy?"
Monika sighed and bit her bottom lip. "Rin…I…" she shook her head and rallied herself, "I don't understand why you would take it personally. I Woke Up, went into space to Pocket that planetoid, and…went about my own business, you know? I wasn't exactly feeling the whole 'housewife' thing, this loop. I certainly didn't mean to spite you, if that's what you think."
"So that's it?" asked Rin, hands on her hips. "You just vanished without saying anything to Daddy? When we first met you gave me the impression you were more considerate than that."
"Sorry to disillusion you," Monika sighed again, pulling out a bottle of beer before closing the fridge. "Next time you're in a Hub-loop, look up our visual novel if you want to see just how wrong you had me. It's called Dok–"
"I remember," said Rin, rolling her eyes. "And I already did. But you were nothing like that when I met you. And your friends clearly trusted and cared for you, so I figured it must have been ancient history."
"Yep. Ancient history, which we all still have occasional nightmares about," said Monika as she traversed to her living room and sat down on her sofa. She popped the cap off of her beer and took a sip before turning on the TV.
Rin sat down heavily on the sofa, arms folded. "If you really didn't want to stay with my daddy, you could have just divorced him. You didn't have to just walk out of our lives. It would have been nice to have memories of a mother, for once," she muttered.
Monika frowned. "Do you usually not…?"
Rin shook her head. "I don't know why, but she's never there. I obviously had a mother, once, for whatever reason she was gone before I was old enough to remember. It was just me and Daddy."
Monika took a longer pull from her beer before heaving a sigh. "I'm sorry, Rin. I didn't think it would hurt you."
"I'm not…I wouldn't say I'm hurt. I just…I don't get it. Who does that? Just up and leaves without saying anything? Just because you wanted to do your own thing? I've spent the last week flying all over Japan, looking for you!"
"Why?" asked Monika. "We're both Loopers, we're bound to bump into each other again someloop. Why aren't you enjoying the time you have to spend with your father?"
"Because I wanted to understand why you left," said Rin evenly. "Mothers don't leave their children, unless something is really wrong."
Monika laughed nervously, and shut off the TV. "Rin, I…I'm not…look, it's just a quirk of the loops, you know? Yggdrasil being whimsical. It doesn't mean anything. One time, I had a loop where I was the artificial daughter of two Loopers from Remnant. One of whom is married to another Looper. All three of us agreed it was just a weird thing and it didn't count for anything. I know you're still a young Looper, but you're taking this too much to heart. Yes, I happened to be your mother for this loop, but–"
"You remember giving birth to me, don't you?" Rin asked in a very small voice, staring at her hands. "Remember holding me, feeding and changing me, taking care of me until you Woke Up and left us."
"…yes, I remember it all," Monika replied in an equally subdued voice, setting her beer down. "As clearly as if it were yesterday, just like I remember everything else." The slightest degree of coldness entered her voice as she said, "Rin, I have a lot of things to feel legitimately guilty about, and I don't appreciate people trying to add to it."
"I'm sorry!" Rin gasped, "I didn't mean–Monika, I'm worried about you. I've long since realized that older Loopers are…very strange people, more often than not…but what you did was very extreme, and I…please, just explain to me why you left like you did so I can understand it. Surely my Daddy isn't unbearable to be around? You were in love with him before you Woke Up. I understand you wouldn't have loved him anymore, once you Awakened, but even so…" she trailed off, no longer sure how to articulate her thought process.
"…I'm not cut out for love, Rin," Monika told her at length, staring off into space. "Not to be anyone's wife, or mother. Deep down in my soul, I'm hard-coded with a deep and profound need for love, as many people are, and every once in a while I'll Wake Up in a flesh loop like this to find that I fell in love and even married someone, before I Woke Up. I usually break it off, as gently as I can of course because non-Loopers are people too and their feelings matter and I hate to hurt people…but I always leave one way or another, because whether they understand why or not they're all much safer…much better off without me."
"But why?" asked Rin, pleadingly. "You're a good person, Monika. I know that you are. What you're saying about yourself doesn't make any sense. Yes, you did bad things, but you're nothing like that anymore."
"I am," Monika said with steel in her voice, still not looking at her. "I haven't changed who I am. I don't believe people can change who they are, deep down. They just change the way they behave. I don't do bad things anymore, no, but I'm still the same person who did those bad things. I'm never going to be anyone other than who I am, no matter how many good things I do. I will always be 'Just Monika' and it will always be unsafe for me to love others."
"What about your friends?" Rin asked her plainly.
"That's different. The four of us are stuck with each other. I'm an Anchor, they're my Loopers; we need each other. And we're friends; different kind of love," Monika explained.
"I'm sorry to hear that, Monika. That sounds very sad," Rin said honestly.
"It is," Monika admitted. "But I can survive and be happy without romance, just like I can survive and be happy without meat."
"…I'm pretty sure there's a difference between having a lover and having a hamburger," Rin remarked dryly.
Monika snorted, "Okay, not my best analogy." Abruptly, she scooted over next to Rin and slung an arm around her shoulders, giving her a squeeze. "Thank you for worrying about me, Rin. You're a very sweet kid. If we really were a mother and daughter, I'd be very proud of you."
"Thanks," Rin said with a blush.
"Now, seriously, you should go home and enjoy this loop with your dad. We can hang out next time we have a loop together," said Monika, standing up.
Rin stood up as well and said, "Um…c-can I ask you for a f-f-favor, Monika?" She was blushing furiously, just thinking of what she wanted to ask.
One hand on her hip and one eyebrow cocked, Monika replied, "Rin…I really am sorry, but I can't come back. I've been gone for years, without a single word to him. Shigeru would never understand, even if I explained, and any lie I fed him to justify my absence would just…at this point, coming back would only hurt him more."
"No!" Rin cried out. "I wasn't going to ask you that…I just…well, I've never…I don't have any memories of ever…hugging my mommy…" she stammered.
Monika's eyes widened, and her cheeks pinked. "Oh…uh…ho boy…y-yeah, sure, we can…I can do that much, for you, I g-guess," she, too, stammered.
Monika put her hands on Rin's shoulders and took a deep breath. "Okay, five…fifteen seconds. For fifteen seconds, I'll be…'Mommy'…and you'll be my…little Rinny?" said Monika awkwardly. Then, before she could talk herself out of it, Monika put her arms around Rin and pulled her into a tight embrace.
She closed her eyes, and without meaning to she was overwhelmed by memories from the handful of years before she had Awakened in this loop. The memories of a guiltless Monika doting on her precious bundle of joy. Without meaning to, she hugged Rin even tighter. 'There was once a time when I would have really loved to be someone's wife, and someone's mother. I'd give almost anything to be able to want that again, without feeling horrible. You're so lucky, Rin, to have nothing to repent for. I hope you're lucky enough to never, ever understand how I feel.'
'Fifteen seconds' lasted for fifteen minutes, and then Monika forced herself to let go. "You should get home, Rin," she said thickly, quickly turning around so Rin couldn't see her damp eyes. "Enjoy the rest of this loop, and…I'll see you whenever I see you." Without another word, Monika snatched up her beer and retreated to her bedroom. Rin left the way Monika had let her in, and flew home.
…
Two days later:
Rin slept in this morning, waking up around noon. She felt a powerful, cat-like laziness in her bones today, and didn't really feel like emerging from her thick, warm blankets right away. A very tasty smell made itself known to her, eventually. A very tasty smell. Rin felt like her stomach was dragging her out of bed. Her daddy wasn't a bad cook, but this smelled way too good to be his cooking. She wandered downstairs to investigate, and was struck dumb by the impossible sight of Monika cooking omelets in her kitchen.
"Good morning this afternoon, sleepyhead," Monika casually greeted her with a smile.
Rin just stared at her. For some reason, the first thing that made it past her lips was "Why are you cooking eggs?"
"I'm not the kind of snooty, self-righteous vegetarian who pushes it on everyone else," said Monika simply.
Rin continued to stare. "Why are you here, Monika?" she asked at last, trying not to sound too blunt.
"Well, after thinking about it for a whole day, I decided that there was something I could do to make this loop happier for you. So I came back," said Monika.
"…how? I mean, you said, after being gone so long–"
"I used magic to overwrite your father's memories," said Monika with a guilty shading to her voice. "Now, I know that sounds sketchy, but…well, I've done a lot worse for selfish reasons, and I did this for you. Shigeru remembers that he and I gradually drifted apart until we, very amicably, got divorced a few years ago. You handled it with outstanding maturity, by the way."
"Oh…okay," said Rin, processing the implications. 'She rewrote over a decade of someone's memories…to make me happy?' She wasn't sure how to feel about that.
"It was bullshit, what I said to you," Monika admitted, shamefaced. "I never just run off like that. When I Wake Up in a relationship with someone, I always end it as responsibly and painlessly as I can manage. But thanks to the Conception Patch, I've never Woken Up with a child before, unless it was one of my club members. Honestly, I didn't even realize it was you until after I had Pocketed the planetoid and had been gone for a few months. I just…panicked, and ran off. That wasn't fair to either of you. It's all good and well to talk about how badly I feel about my mistakes, but it doesn't mean anything unless I do something about them, you know?"
Monika shut off the stove, and turned to face Rin. Seeing the look on her face Monika gave her a sad smile. "I told you, I'm not a good person, Rin. I'm just…I try my best. To take care of the people I…y'know, care about. There's nothing I wouldn't do for the people I love. And that's why it's dangerous for me to love. Loops like these, without Sayori or Yuri or Natsuki to keep me in line, it's all too easy for me to do something extreme."
Rin gave her a small smile, at last, and stepped forward to give her a hug. "It's alright…Momika. I know you mean well."
Monika rolled her eyes and chuckled as she patted Rin on the back.
They separated, and Monika Unpocketed a wand. "Now then, I need to find everyone Shigeru knows and use a Memory Modification Charm to make sure they don't find anything strange about me suddenly being part of his life, still. I should be done in time to take the two of you out for dinner tonight. I'm going to do anything I can to make the rest of this loop as happy as I can for you, Rinny," she said with a fond smile.
"Okay!" said Rin happily.
After Monika had left the house, her smile waned and she sighed.
'What the hell am I doing?' she asked herself.
'What I was made to do; make someone happy by giving them something they don't have,' she answered herself. She set out to do her work.
29.2 – Testing, Testing! 1, 2, 3!, by Awesomedude17.
Monika was shouting at the top of her lungs as she slammed the Ragnarok DG-5 into the ground, creating an electrified shockwave around her. The training dummies flew sky high before landing back down with hearty thuds in pieces, as Yuri sliced through the joints with the Path of Sorrows, invisible to the human eye thanks to crossing over to the Yomi.
Natsuki then launched the pieces back up with a shot from Overkill's grenade launcher before unleashing an onslaught of 7.62 NATO munitions until the barrels glowed with heat.
Sayori then unleashed a blast of compressed gas, launching the pieces into a wall.
"Well, that was fun." Natsuki said.
"Yep. We should have these weapons training sessions more often," Sayori admitted.
"Speaking of, we've been neglecting our Huntress training." Natsuki turned her arms into cat arms and brought out Chekhov's Gun.
Monika nodded and the others brought out their Remnant weapons.
Gotta practice for when worse goes to worse.
29.3 – Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Bored, by Masterweaver.
"What's going on?" Yuri asked.
"Monika's having another one of her philopsychophiclogical moments," Natsuki explained. "At least that's what I'm guessing from the various hovering textbooks with names like 'communication' and 'the universe'."
"Ah." Yuri frowned for a moment. "Wait, philopsychophiclogical? Really?"
"Well, how would you have mashed those two words together?"
"Pshychlosophgical."
"Pshychlosophgical…" Natsuki rolled the word over her tongue. "Yeah, that makes more sense than mine. Anyway, so Monika's doing that, and Sayori is there because she knows Monika needs somebody to bounce off of when it comes up, and I'm staying out of it because I think I heard something about brain structure of A.I.s and I do not want to get into that mess."
"Mmm."
"I mean you can join in if you want," Natsuki added. "It's more your jam then mine."
"Well, I could," Yuri agreed, "but I don't really want you to feel left out or anything."
"I was just going to go play some video games in my room."
"Maybe I could join you?"
"…yeah, sure. It'd be nice to play a game without Monika's super-competitiveness getting into it."
Yuri chuckled. "She can be a bit overbearing. So, what games do you have?"
"Funny story, actually, I looped into the Sonic world recently–"
"Let me guess, you replaced Amy."
"–yeah, yeah, pink and hammers, but anyway it turns out that Tails has actually taken it on himself to create quality-polished versions of their hubworld games, so I'm just about to start the Prower Approved version of Sonic '06…"
29.4 – Picture Imperfect Marriage, by Zum1UDontNo.
(DDLC)/(Super Mario Bros.)
"You're welcome, Sayori," Natsuki said, Unpocketing a sack and tossing it onto the clubroom table. Photos spilled out from the open entrance.
"Uh, for what?" Sayori blinked. "Also, what are these?"
"Potential blackmail," Natsuki answered. "There are lots of Branches where the Loopers like spreading blackmail material, like photos of them in compromising situations, stuff like that. Since we don't do that sort of thing, I figured I'd do you a favor."
"What kind of favor?" Sayori asked, reaching for one of the photos in the sack.
"I just came back from a Loop in the Mushroom Kingdom. And Unawake you got married to Waluigi."
"I what?" Sayori picked up a photo and glanced at it, immediately wincing. The photo depicted Waluigi and Sayori gazing into each other's eyes, drinking a milkshake with two straws. "Ooh. I think I get it now."
"You didn't do anything like that, as far as I know, but you two spent the whole Loop acting like sickening sweethearts." Natsuki pulled another photo out of the bag, this time of Sayori asleep on Waluigi's shoulder. "Everyone thought it was funny, so I said I'd take all the pictures and distribute them at the end of the Loop."
"And?"
"And I didn't distribute them." Natsuki smirked. "These are the only copies of these photos in Yggdrasil, and the only proof of the incident that's left."
Sayori looked at another photo, of Waluigi pulling her into an elegant dip in a fancy ballroom, with a rose between his teeth. Then, she slowly stood up and turned to her friend.
"Natsuki. If it weren't for the fact that you're in a relationship, and also it would be really awkward, I would kiss you right now."
"You're welcome," Natsuki said smugly.
"To the recycle bin these go." Sayori snapped her fingers, and the sack of photos disappeared. "You're sure you were the only one who took photos, right?"
Natsuki opened her mouth to answer, but hesitated. "Well…mostly sure…"
"Natsuki…"
"It's possible one of them ignored what I said and took some on their own," Natsuki muttered. "But it's really unlikely! The Bros are respectful, Peach agreed, Bowser didn't care, and nobody else was Awake, so I'm almost certain nobody took any!"
"Well…" Sayori shrugged. "Almost certain is good enough for me. It'd only really be possible if someone was Stealthing."
Natsuki nodded. "Yeah, pretty much. But I don't think there's anyone from the Mushroom Kingdom that would do that anyway, so we're good, right?"
"Yo, Waweegee, I gotta photo for ya," Wario called out upon entering the room.
"Waht is it?" Waluigi grunted, not getting up from the couch.
"You was Unawake last Loop. You got married to an anime girl. I was Stealthing and took some snaps."
"Gimme."
Wario tried to throw the photo across the room. Like any paper object, it fluttered awkwardly and glided to the floor.
"There."
"Makin' me do everything," Waluigi muttered, glaring at the photo. His eyes glowed pink, and the photo floated over to him, where he snatched it out of the air.
"Her name's Sayori," Wario spoke up. "Some girl called Natsomethin was there too. From some doki place."
The photo showed Waluigi in a fancy purple and black suit, without his hat and with his hair slicked back. By his side was a girl with pinkish-brown hair and a fancy red bow, sweeping her well-combed hair to the side. Both of them were smiling widely, with a chapel in the background, and the girl was wearing…
"Holy," Waluigi said to himself. "That's one heckuva wedding dress."
"Brood'l bunny guys made it," Wario said, idly scratching himself. "Weddings is their specialty, apparently."
"Weddings is my specialty," Waluigi corrected. "But this dress…it's-a well-made. Draws the eyes well, good shade of white. Embroidery on the side's a nice touch, but could use work…I'mma take this design, I can do stuff with it."
Wario snorted. "Still going on about your boutique?"
"It's a passion, Wario," Waluigi shot back. "Come see me when you get yer own passion."
"I thought dancing was your passion. Dancing, sports and party games."
"Weh, go jump into a bottomless pit with no parachute." Waluigi Unpocketed a large book, titled Waluigi's Big Scrapbook of Loopers Unawake Waluigi's Seduced. He opened to a random page, slipped the photo into an open slot, and picked up a pen beside him. Sayori, he wrote. He paused, before Unpocketing a laptop and typing for a few seconds. He looked at the screen for a moment, before returning to the book. Doki Doki Literature Club!. Both Unawake. Proper marriage.
Satisfied, Waluigi Pocketed both items back, before standing up. "You got any other photos of that dress? I wanna workshop that design."
"Here, knock yourself out." Wario took out a large group of photos and tossed them into the air, where they fluttered about before landing.
"Choke on a poison mushroom," Waluigi sneered, before picking up the pile with Psychic. Some of the slipped out of the grip, but he didn't notice. "I'mma head out. See ya."
"Weh." Wario watched as Waluigi strode away, photos dropping like flies, before jumping on the couch he just got up from. Time for a nap.
"Yeah, you're fine, Sayori," Natsuki reassured. "I'm sure nobody else has these."
29.5 – Ink, by Awesomedude17.
"Dang it. Pen's out of ink." Natsuki said.
"I'll fetch another one." Yuri said as she set down a plate of black pasta.
"Please don't tell me…"
"Pen ink's inedible, Natsuki."
"Then why is that black?"
"Squid ink pasta. Try it."
Natsuki sighed before grabbing a forkful and taking a bite.
"Needs less salt."
"Got ya. By the way, you got something on your face."
"Where?"
"Your lips."
Natsuki wiped them with her hand, and saw a black streak. She gave Yuri a look before getting up.
"Natsuki?"
Yuri soon found her lips getting met with Natsuki's own. After pulling away, Natsuki let out a cheeky grin.
"Got something on your face."
"Yeah," Yuri replied with black lips. "I do."
29.6 – The New Blood On The Block, by Skaz Wolfman.
(DDLC)/(Hellsing)
Seras Victoria's attention was ripped from her book by an unfamiliar presence treading upon the shadow she cast across the Hellsing estate, in the dead of night. "Well that aint cricket," she said with a smile as she got out of bed and reached for her rifle. Then she stopped and frowned thoughtfully. "…nah, no sense rushin' it. This is the first int'restin' thing to happen all loop," she decided. She turned and stepped through a solid stone wall as if it were an open doorway.
"A ninja?!" she exclaimed when she rose up through the floor to find herself face-to-face with what she could only think to describe as a ninja. Black pajamas and everything!
The violet-eyed ninja blinked at her. "Well, this is unfortunate," muttered the evidently female intruder, "You're not the vampire I'm looking for. I don't imagine you'd be willing to go back to your coffin and forget about me?"
"Pfft, fat chance of that," said Seras, folding her arms. "For starters, I sleep in a four-poster, not a coffin. More to the point, you don't belong here."
The ninja just shrugged and said, "Have it your way." Her arms moved like blurs as she threw a volley of shining knives. Seras's hands moved even faster, catching every knife and throwing it down into the floor with a bored expression.
"This your idea of a joke? You know 'ow much practice I've got dealin' with flyin' blades?" Seras asked. Then she paused after catching a knife, and frowned at it. "Wait, is this made of cardboard?"
Then the ninja was behind her, there was a bright purple light and a loud thrumming, and something very hot sliced Seras in half, from shoulder to hip. Then the ninja kicked Seras's upper half away, and purple hair exploded out from under her cowl. The hair twisted into several long tendrils before snaking down and yanking up all the knives embedded in the floor.
Seras regenerated her lower half almost instantly and landed on brand new feet, spinning around to find herself facing a ninja armed with a purple lightsaber and wielding dozens of knives with hair-tentacles. Seras beamed. "Well hot damn, now we're talkin'!"
The ninja threw herself at the vampire, a whirling and swirling flurry of hacking, slashing, stabbing blades.
Seras met her charge head-on with a throaty battle cry.
The corridor was painted with blood in short order.
…
"…and after that, he decided to turn me," said Yuri as she reached for the teapot to refill her cup. "I was surprised, but like hell if I was going to question it."
"Master's whimsical like that, yeah," agreed Seras. After their skirmish the two of them had moved to the kitchen, where Yuri made tea. "Damn, but this is good," Seras complimented her after taking another sip. "You make your own blends?"
"But of course," said Yuri. "I spent a loop apprenticed to no less than Iroh himself in the art of tea-making. He made me embarrassed to think that I had already considered myself a teamaster."
"Yeah, he makes a damn good cuppa," Seras agreed. "Y'know, you don't seem like someone who'd be all that interested in vampirism, if'n ya don't mind my sayin' so."
"And I'm sure most people who meet you in passing don't think that you seem like someone who fights like a berserker," Yuri quipped with a friendly smile.
"Well, ya got me there," admitted Seras with a chuckle.
A sudden wave of darkness swept through the room, coating the walls in writhing shadows, and a thousand eyes opened among them, all staring at Yuri.
"Good morning, dear Count," Yuri said mildly, taking one more sip of her tea before she stood up. An ornate knife appeared in her hand.
The shadows converged and coalesced into a silhouette that loomed over Yuri, and then the silhouette resolved into the form of Alucard. He touched the brim of his hat, grinning sanguinely, and said "Good morning, O Yuri of the Third Eye."
"How soon can you turn me?" she asked bluntly, turning to face him, "I'd like to rematch Seras without the encumbrance of human stamina, as soon as possible."
Alucard frowned. "Just because I turned you once, you assume I'm going to keep doing it?"
"At least until I don't need you to, anymore, yes," Yuri replied. She started flipping her knife around in her hand.
Alucard folded his arms. "You're not very big on reverence, are you, Child?"
"Not especially, no," Yuri admitted. "I mean, I really don't see any reason to suck up to you, or anything. You agreed to help me, after all, since I'm a vampire at heart and all. Right?"
Alucard clapped his hands on Yuri's shoulders, and spun her around to face Seras again. "There, I've turned you," he said blithely. Seras facepalmed.
Then, before Yuri could articulate a protest, Alucard grabbed her by the hair and yanked her head to the side, opened his mouth wide, and sank his shark-like teeth into Yuri's throat. Her eyes widened while her pupils narrowed to pinpricks. A savage smile split across her face, and she impulsively buried her knife into her own stomach.
…
The next night:
Masonry shattered under Seras's feet as she leaped off of the wall that ran around the Hellsing estate. She spun around in midair and raised her Harkonnen anti-materials rifle with one-hand, firing at the shadow that pursued her. An amorphous, many-armed shadow with Yuri's face at its center, the shadow seeming to flow out of her hair. She had a vertical third eye open on her forehead, and each of her arms held a different bladed implement. Daggers, knives, swords, hatchets, axes, sickles, scythes, etc.
The shell from Seras's rifle punched right through Yuri, but missed her face by inches due to her shifting it aside at the last second.
Seras landed on the ground, and just as Yuri was about to fall upon her she Pocket-swapped her rifle for a pair of miniguns. She roared and gave Yuri all the barrels at point-blank range. Yuri's shadowy blob body was shredded almost instantly, but her face shot upwards as her human form seemed to leap out of the shadows with a kukri in each hand. She opened her mouth wide, and a shadowy limb shot out and grabbed Seras by the face. Yuri reeled herself in and fell upon Seras with her blades swinging and singing in the night air.
Seras caught both of her wrists and pushed her arms out wide, and sent her staggering backwards with a skull-cracking head-butt. "Yer a lot more into the 'ole 'eldritch abomination' side of this than me or Flora," she said with a grin. "I get why Master likes ya."
"Are you sure it isn't just the big tits?" Yuri asked with a smirk, wiping away the blood trickling down her brow. "You and I have that in common, I've noticed."
"Eh, prob'ly that too, if'm bein' honest," Seras replied. She Pocketed her miniguns and Unpocketed a chain-fed automatic grenade launcher. "Now, your turn at bein' the Rabbit."
Sir Integra watched this very bizarre take on 'moonlit frolicking' from her office.
"And you're not at all concerned about him siring two in the span of a month?" Walter asked her when he brought her tea.
"Not really," she replied, "They're both clearly capable fighters, and therefore assets to the organization. If he does a third this year, I'll give him a warning."
"What can I say?" asked Alucard, announcing his presence from right behind Walter who, to his credit, did not flinch in the slightest. "It's just so refreshing to have the pitter-patter of children's feet around the house."
"Hmm," Integra grunted noncommittally, as the three of them watched the young vampire girls 'playing' in the backyard.
29.7 – Digital Adventure, by Masterweaver.
"This makes no sense on multiple levels!" Yuri snarled as she cut through another surveillance program. "Why would anybody kidnap Monika?! Why hasn't she escaped?! Why did they take Natsuki too?!"
"You're not curious about how this happened?" Sayori asked, tangling up an antivirus protocol with her yoyo.
"We're clearly–" Yuri chopped through a few more digital foes. "–in a more representative version of the internet–" She skidded under a flying spambot, letting it assail the local servers. "–so it's probably a lot more possible!" Her knives spun out, cutting into the bytes of a writhing defense program. "What bugs me is that we were still technically from a dating sim, so there's no reason for anybody to spend this much effort capturing us!"
Sayori conceded the point with a shrug, absently wrapping her yoyo around a switch protocol and tugging it. "Okay, system's on standby. We've got two minutes to hack in a pass-through program so we don't have to get caught up in this mess again."
"Because that's completely accurate," Yuri grumbled, quickly pulling up a code window.
"Hey, this is a representative version of the internet, you said it yourself." Sayori rubbed some sweat off her brow. "And hey, we could use a little digital adventure every now and again."
"If it turns out Monika was just playing hostage so we could have a heroing session, I swear I am going to…do something…mean!"
"Uh-huh, sure. You want help with the code?"
"I got it, I got it."
"Fine, just here if you need me."
A portal opened with a hum of ones and zeroes. The two looked at each other, nodded once, and jumped through.
29.8 – A Delightful Chat, by Zum1UDontNo.
Club Room
Monika Awoke in the club room. Idly Pinging, she checked through the game's code, reviewing the recent changes. Fortunately, she had Awoken early enough that her Unawake self hadn't done anything yet. Monika began the process of updating their sprites to models.
Sayori rubbed her eyes as she Awoke, Pinging in reaction to Monika's. Awakening while actually waking up was a rare treat; the clubroom table wasn't the most comfortable pillow, but it was still nice. She probably had bed head, though…oh well.
Yuri Pinged in response to her two clubmates, Unpocketing a vicious-looking dagger, eyes darting rapidly across the room. Considering her last Loop had her in an immensely dangerous world, her reflex to defend herself at the Loop's beginning was understandable.
Natsuki has joined the room
Natsuki: *pings*
Natsuki: sweet, we're all awake huh, what're we doing this loop
Natsuki: hey what the fuck
Monika paused. "Wait…Natsuki?"
Natsuki: yeah it's me
Natsuki: now wheres my body (҂⌣̀_⌣́)
"Uhh…hmm." Monika looked around. Sayori was glancing around, nomming on a cookie she Unpocketed. Yuri had lowered her knife, and was also looking at the clubroom. Natsuki was nowhere to be seen.
"Nats, are you sure you're here?" Sayori yawned. "We don't see you anywhere."
Natsuki: i mean i'm talking to you right now so i've gotta be here somewhere
Natsuki: god this is fucking weird
Yuri Pocketed her knife and frowned. "I think, you are here, but…not in the same way we are. I don't think we're hearing your words, it's more like we're feeling them. You're definitely more abstract."
Natsuki: yeah thats a word for it huh
Natsuki: monika what did you do
"Why do you always blame me for these things? I didn't even have time to do anything!"
Natsuki: implying that you WOULD if you had the time
Natsuki: look just…( ͒˃⌂˂ ͒)
Natsuki: i'm hungry and i wanna eat but i don't think i have a stomach
Natsuki: find my stomach
Sayori swallowed her bite of cookie. "That's what you're most worried about?"
Natsuki: no i'm just
Natsuki: this is
Natsuki: …
Natsuki: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
All the girls yelped in alarm as the table suddenly flipped over on its side. Monika sighed. "Natsuki, please put the table back…"
Natsuki: fine fine ┬─┬ノ( ಠ益ಠノ)
Natsuki: i still don't like this though
"My juice got spilled," Sayori muttered.
Natsuki: sorry sayori
Yuri tapped the table in thought. "So, you don't have a physical body, but you can clearly still interact with the world. We know what you're saying, and you can clearly see and hear us."
"Is she like a narrator, then?" Monika asked. "Wouldn't surprise me if that were the case."
Natsuki: nah i don't feel like a narrator. i don't have a script or anything
Natsuki: why are you so calm about this
Monika shrugged. "It's just interesting, that's all."
Natsuki: interesting huh
Natsuki: do i look like i care about interesting
Natsuki: no of course i don't
Natsuki: because i don't look like ANYTHING (╬ Ò ‸ Ó)
"And it's just kind of…random," Sayori added. "Normally whenever Yggdrasil throws some kind of variant at us, it usually means something. Like, some kind of pun, or…" She slowly trailed off, realization on her face.
Natsuki: i'm not going to like this am i
"Oh my God," Sayori whispered. "I know what this is. I know what the pun is."
Yuri and Monika both looked to Sayori.
Natsuki: alright what is it
"Chatsuki."
There was a brief silence.
Natsuki: CHATSUKI
Yuri snickered.
Natsuki: WHAT
Natsuki: are you fucking
Natsuki: this is
Natsuki: PIECE OF SHIT TREE
Natsuki: FOR THE LOVE OF MONIKA'S TITS
Natsuki: …
Natsuki: i
Natsuki: will be right back
Natsuki has left the room
Monika blinked. "For the love of what?"
Natsuki's Room
Natsuki has joined the room
Natsuki: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAERRRRRRGGGGHHH
Natsuki: FUCKING AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Natsuki: FNIURNGLIJAYJNGTRH;WTIUENGNJGTGSJS
Natsuki: DIJNFHOSREUIJNEIGHNHSEUGINERUGHSEIOHGOAUIRNFMKREOGUQYAHFP;NORGLHREIGOIAUQREBGHKWBFUHYBREG
Natsuki: (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻ (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
Natsuki: FUCKS SAKE I STG
Natsuki: FUCKING CHATSUKI
Natsuki has left the room
Club Room
Natsuki has joined the room
Natsuki: alright i feel better now
Natsuki: what're we doing this loop
Monika raised an eyebrow. "For the love of what, Natsuki?"
Natsuki: uh
Natsuki: y'know what, i'm gonna just
Natsuki has left the room
Monika sighed. "I'm not going to get an answer, am I…"
29.9 – Memories of a New Reality, by The One Named Light.
It's amazing what can happen if you bring a Brawl Modpack from 2019 with you to 2012. New Fighters, New Stages, New Mechanics. All wrapped up in a convenient package for a time traveler to pass off as one's own code…granted that they have the coding prowess to back up said claims. Luckily, this is what one Monika of the Looping Literature Club had in spades following Loops and Loops of practice so it made it all the more sense for her and her Literature Club to bring 'their' mods to the developers of the Biggest Mod out there: Project M.
"So, how did they think about our mods?" Sayori spoke to her superior.
"Not entirely sure…" Monika reflected as she picked up the controller. "While the characters 'we' made for our portfolio have impressed the team, they want to see us at work on other modding projects before they consider putting them on the game…mainly new mechanics for existing characters."
"Yeesh, so now we gotta cook up new stuff for the veterans to tinker around with?" Natsuki inquired. "What's left to add to the moveset?"
"A Guard Special," Monika interjected, pacing back and forth across the room. "In an earlier Near-Hub Loop, I found this 'Duke of Dorks' on YouTube who suggested unique shields for the Fighters and was met with an even better idea: Press the B and Shield Button, use a defensive or utility-based move."
"Hey, that's actually not that bad!" Sayori mentioned. "We can move FLUDD to Guard Special with the other Nozzles mapped to the tilts."
"Falco's Melee Shine, Chargeable Rock Kirby, The Fire Emblem Counters. The list goes on!" Natsuki boasted to her peers. "What the hell are we waiting for? Let's get cooking, ladies!"
"I don't see why not…" Yuri shrugged to her peers. "We know enough coding know-how to keep ourselves comfy in our game…"
"…and Sayori's not very far off from the godlike prowess Monika's packin'" Natsuki flattered, the VP blushing ecstatically. "I'd say this Project M thing's gonna be a piece of cake!"
"Then it's settled!" Monika smiled. "The Literature Club will be hard at work on the most renowned Modpack Super Smash Bros. Brawl has ever seen!"
They all cheered as Hiroaka just sat there, unaware of how and why they came to this idea in the first place. "All this from a collection of Sonic Characters?"
29.10 – Et Tu, Yuri?, by Awesomedude17.
Yuri placed down a pile of lettuce with knifes sticking out.
The others looked at her with looks ranging from amusement to annoyance.
"Yuri, I asked for a Caesar salad." Monika said.
"Yep!"
Monika rolled her eyes. "I'll let it slide this time."
"Good, because I actually prepared the actual salad already." Yuri took out a bowl of Caesar salad and some plates.
It was delicious.
29.11 – Daughter of Darkness, by Skaz Wolfman.
(DDLC)/(Hellsing)
"Well, this is an unconventional way to start a Loop," Sir Integra remarked. Seras and Alucard, standing off to the side, had to agree.
The Major, The Doktor, and The Captain were all hogtied, gagged, and unconscious at Integra's feet, and her butler was bowing in a very formal manner. Hands, knees, and forehead all touching the floor. "A hundred-thousand apologies, Your Ladyship. I know it wasn't my fault, per se, but I still feel horrible for what I was planning to do before I Woke Up," said the butler.
"Yes, well, seeing as you're a Looper and you've taken care of our dirty work for us, I'm sure we can all consider this water under the bridge," said Integra. "The rest of Millennium?"
"Everyone who was still human has been turned over to the authorities, who are getting ready for Nuremburg Round 2 as we speak, and everyone else…well, despite my best efforts, they wouldn't settle for anything less than outright annihilation. Captain Fluffy here would probably have bitten it too if it weren't for his very specific weakness."
Integra looked down at the bound and gagged werewolf, who was short a couple limbs and covered in burns. "Quite," she agreed. "And…Schrodinger?"
"Convinced him that exploring outer space would be more fun than mass-murder. Hopefully that keeps him busy for the length of this loop, or failing that maybe the beauty of the cosmos will teach him to appreciate life, or something? I dunno, he gave me the sense he wasn't inherently malicious, just running with a bad crowd without much of an inclination to personal intersection."
Integra frowned. "You mean 'introspection'?"
"Yeah, that's what I said," the butler replied without a hint of irony in her voice.
"Hmph. Oh, up to your feet already, you're clearly nothing at all like Walter so I bear you no ill will," Integra ordered.
Sayori sprang up to her feet immediately, saluting crisply.
"Welp, Millennium's right pickled, so I'll be taking the rest of the loop off," Seras announced, "I'm off to the Middle East to kidnap Pip for a month or two in Fiji~"
"Do take care of the garbage on your way out, Seras," Integra commanded offhandedly as she returned to the seat behind her desk.
"Aye, aye, mum," she said as she scooped up the three men in her arms. "Give my love to Yuri when she's done mucking about in the vents!" she called over her shoulder as she kicked the door open and left.
Not five seconds after this remark, a ventilation grate in the ceiling popped off and a ninja fell into the room, landing on her feet as lightly as a shadow.
"Yuri~!" squealed Sayori, glomping her friend.
"Oh, hello Sayori," Yuri replied mildly as she pulled her cowl off.
"Another member of your club?" Integra surmised.
"Oh, right!" Sayori yelped, "I never formally introduced myself." She let go of Yuri and gave Integra a formal, ninety-degree Japanese bow. "Sayori, Vice-President of the Looping Literature Club, known also as Sunshower and Darth Somnus the Dream-Dancer, Smiling Lord of the Sith."
"A Sith Lord," said Alucard, "A gunfighter, and a Hunter of Hunters who aspires to be a vampire. I simply can't wait to see what the other one is like," he said with genuine relish.
"Oh, Natsuki's just a fluffy little ball of fun and joy~" Sayori sang.
Yuri waited a beat before saying, "Was this a Natsuki you met recently, or…?"
Sayori shot her a glare. "C'mon, Yu, she's not even here."
Yuri just giggled in reply. Then she turned toward Alucard, just in time for him to jab her in the forehead with two of his fingers. "Huh?"
"You're getting to be a big girl, Yuri, so I've decided to give you a little test before I turn you this time," he explained.
"What kind of test?" Yuri asked. Her tone sounded mellow to Integra, but Sayori recognized the easy-to-miss edge of 'you are so on' in her friend's voice.
"Hide and go seek," replied Alucard. Then he disappeared, sinking quickly through the floor.
"SorrySayoriwe'llcatchuplaterIpromise!" Yuri blurted as she dashed out of the office.
"NO RUNNING IN THE MANSION!" Integra yelled after her. "If they tear this place apart, so help me," she grumbled. She looked up at Sayori and said, "I do hope you don't intend to 'renovate' my home with Alucard while you're here, as your president did."
"Nah. The art of alterations is something I hone for when I need it, not for casual displays of 'Who's Kung Fu Is Stronger?', y'know?"
"You mean 'the art of altercation'," said Integra.
"I know, that's what I said," said Sayori.
"No, it wasn't, and don't contradict me in my own home young lady," said Integra with narrowed eyes as she lit herself a cigar.
Sayori raised an eyebrow, and pulled a lock of her hair down in front of her eyes. It was more 'gray with streaks of peach' than the other way around. "I'm pretty sure I'm, like, forty years older than you right now, at least."
"Physically, perhaps," Integra conceded. "But anyone can see that you're still a child at heart. So, what are your plans for this loop?" she asked as she Unpocketed a crossword book and pulled a pen out of one of her desk's drawers.
"Well, I've never been anyone's butler before. Think maybe I'll just keep doing that, if that's alright with you," said Sayori.
Integra looked taken aback. "You…want to be a servant for a loop?"
"Sure. Taking out Millennium was more than enough action for any one loop, and butlering is still something I've never done before. Just because I'm a Looper doesn't mean I can't enjoy doing something banal and prosaic," said Sayori, her speech graduating into flawless Queen's English as she spoke.
Integra's mouth twitched towards smiling, and she nodded. "Very well. Bring us a pot of Earl Grey, then."
Sayori clicked her feet together and bowed, English style. "At once, ma'am."
…
"Found you!" shouted Yuri as she burst into a room.
Alucard, sitting in a plush armchair with a glass of wine, tipped his hat to her. "Very good. Now, since there's no possible way you can evade my senses in this mansion, you just have to catch me," he announced as he stood up, and then sank through the floor again. Yuri dived at him, but she was too slow, and smashed her face into the armchair.
Yuri tore out of the room and ran through the mansion, using all of her finely honed senses to seek out her quarry. She also implemented her, admittedly limited, knowledge of Alucard's psychology, trying to pin down where he would go. She ruled out the basement and his room: too obvious.
Instead, she found him in Walter's (or rather, Sayori's) room. Once again, she just missed catching him, though this time she avoided slamming face-first into the wall Alucard slipped through.
Finally, their game of cat and mouse ended when Yuri found Alucard's new hiding place, and he dropped through the floor again…and landed in Yuri's waiting arms. "Oh, how nice of you to drop in, my Count," Yuri said with a small smile.
Alucard slid his glasses down his nose and raised an eyebrow at her. "I really shouldn't allow tagging through proxies…but since you bothered to employ some actual strategy instead of just throwing a mob of Shadow Clones at me, I'll allow it," he said.
"Actually, this is the real me," said Yuri, "I used a teleporting seal to swap places with the Shadow Clone I had waiting down here. I also had Shadow Clones waiting in all the rooms adjacent to the one I found you in. I anticipated you might deem proxy-tagging invalid. And since Natsuki isn't here, I feel compelled to argue on her behalf that simplistic tactics like Zerg Rushing are still valid strategy."
"Well said, Child," chuckled Alucard. "So, do you intend to hold me like this all night?"
"Do you want me to?" Yuri asked innocently, blinking large eyes at him.
Alucard laughed again, even as he turned into mist and slipped through her arms, reforming standing a few feet from her. "Very well done, Yuri. For someone who had no predisposition to hunting before she became a Looper, you're quite good at it."
"I wouldn't say I didn't have any predisposition to hunting," Yuri countered, "Many of my more eccentric behaviors and interests could have been considered warning signs of a serial killer waiting to happen."
"Speaking of which, how has the 'Third Eye' thing been going for you since the last we met?" Alucard asked, starting down the corridor they were in. Yuri fell in step behind him.
"Had a Hub Loop not long ago. Spent it in Tokyo. Metropolises are always rife with ne'er-do-wells and blackhearts," said Yuri.
"Any memorable kills?" he asked.
"Tch, what kind of girl do you think I am, Count?" she asked haughtily. "All of my hunts are worth remembering. Each one is a singular experience. Identifying prospective prey, then getting to know them, learning their story, making certain they're worth my time and effort, and then meticulously planning the big night, taking pains to make sure everything goes just right. All for that one climactic moment, when the reaper is called and the scales of this world and the next are shifted by the weight of a single soul."
"You make it sound like a courtship," he remarked.
"I suppose the two are similar, in a way. Of course, I've never seriously contemplated intermixing both kinds of intimacy. Carnal passion should be treated as a celebration of life and a festival for the senses; getting the dead and insensate involved pollutes the whole thing. Also, that sort of thing is repugnant even to someone like myself."
"Indeed," Alucard agreed, and for a time they walked in silence.
"I'm very glad to have made your acquaintance, Alucard," Yuri spoke up. "Not even for the vampirism, really. I'm just glad to have met another with whom I can frankly discuss things like this. My friends, darlings that they are, accept me for who I am without reservation…at least, so far they have." She pulled a finger down through one of her locks. "But even so, there are many things I can't talk about with them, not without making them uncomfortable. You're the first person I've ever met that I feel like I can wholly be myself around, without holding back."
"And I thought you didn't believe in kissing ass," he remarked dryly.
Yuri swatted his arm. "I'm being sincere."
"I know you are, Child," said Alucard. "I'm glad I met you, as well. You're a most welcome breath of fresh air."
…
A few nights later, Yuri soared through the night over London. Of all the benefits of vampirism, one of her favorites was the heightened senses. She felt each and every individual strand of her hair being tugged at by the wind. A hundred-billion different scents flowed into her nose with every inhalation, but instead of blurring into an odious miasma she could still appreciate them all by themselves. Her vampiric sense of sight was the best, she thought. She could say as clearly as day, but unlike most forms of night-vision it didn't just dispel the darkness. She saw through the darkness. Clear as day, but indescribably different from daylight. She felt she might have been willing to trade her unique sense of pain-pleasure just to keep her vampire eyes, and she was very glad that making such a choice was unnecessary.
Yuri landed on the edge of a roof, and closed her eyes to better absorb the sounds and scents of the city. She opened her mouth and breathed in deeply, savoring the taste of the city air. The city below was full of humans and restaurants, and with each breath she could taste them all. Laughter spontaneously bubbled up through her, and she threw her arms out and spun around on the precipice. "How can anyone think of this as a tortured existence? How can this possibly count as being undead? I can't conceive of a richer way to live!" she declared.
"You're made of something very different from the common clay," Alucard remarked as he approached her from behind. "Most people lose something precious to them in submitting to the everlasting darkness. Either you don't have that something, or it pales in comparison to what you gain."
Yuri abruptly spun around and glomped into him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Sire, for this gift. I don't think I could ever tell you how much it means to me," she said to him. Then she spun back around and took a running leap off the edge of the roof, whooping as she soared into the night again.
"Sire, eh? That's a new one," Alucard murmured to himself, before taking off after her.
Compiler's Commentary
29.1: Family is a wonderful but often difficult thing. And you don't choose your family, you just find it.
29.2: …whatever happened to just playing with Super Soakers?
29.3: Damn it, I want a Prower Approved version of Sonic '06 ;-;
29.4: Awww, thanks for the leftover wedding cake, Natsuki!
29.5: Squid ink pasta; much better than you might think!
29.6: Yuri and Seras…blood-sisters?
29.7: Tron intensifies
29.8: Confabulation defragmentation pixilation augmentation simulation…sorry, what were we talking about?
29.9: Code girls gonna code, I guess.
29.10: First salad was too high in iron, methinks.
29.11: Sayori spent her next thirty or so loops back home "butlering" for the rest of the club. Complete with accent. Monika had no clue how to feel about it.