Grim Convictions, Book 1: Relics of the Founders

by HarlanSpindlewheel

Elsbeth Ledoux is the perfect example of a pureblood princess. Well, at least on the outside. Feeling troubled by her family's beliefs and their growing involvement with a powerful dark wizard, Elsbeth begins to question her reality and is faced with an impossible decision. Blood is thicker than water - will she let it sink her? [Marauders Era] [OCxSiriusB.]

7. Chapter 7: The Journal

Hi everyone! A quicker update this time. :)

We might finally see some sparks in this chapter~! This story is going to be a much slower burn than I previously thought aha.

I hope you enjoy! Please fav, follow, and review if you do! I love reading all your comments about the story. :)

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- CHAPTER 7: THE JOURNAL -

"And you were doing so well, mon ange," my father furiously paced back and forth in front of me. His face was bright red with rage while his eyes twinkled with disappointment. "What went wrong, hmm? You and Lucius were an absolute picture of a couple. It seemed like you were even getting along! The cherry on top of what was supposed to be a perfect event last night."

Byron was leaning on a nearby wall, face pale but absent of any emotion. His eyes followed my father as he moved rapidly from one side of the room to the other. Maybe he, like I, was wondering if our father would burn a hole through the floor with his aggressive movements.

It was just the three of us cramped in what looked like a lounge. Velour vintage furniture littered the room but I didn't dare take a seat despite wanting to crumple into a ball on the nearest sofa. The slap had been hard, accented by the heavy Ledoux family ring he wore on his index finger. If it wasn't for that, I might've been able to get away with only emotional damage. But as the afflicted area continued to pulsate, I realized leaving here without any physical marks might be wishful thinking.

"Just tell me why," he stopped abruptly in front of me, placing his hands on his hips as he leaned forward. "Why in Salazar's name would you go off and do something like that?"

I shriveled under his gaze as he towered over me. The women in our family were tall but we might as well be ants compared to the likes of our male counterparts. It made for friendly giants when all was going well but menacing monsters when facing the contrary.

"I'm waiting," he said coolly. He still held his temper but his face was slowly returning to its normal color. A welcome sign that his initial steam was running out.

I opened my mouth to speak but stopped short. My mouth felt dry, tongue thick and unable to utter any words from the shock of the entire situation. I looked over to Byron for any sort of assistance, an indication of what our father was here for. He locked lifeless eyes with me for a few moments before looking away smugly.

"I'd be more than happy to give an explanation, father," I said calmly while donning the most 'I'm a perfect daughter' persona I could manage. "But I'm not exactly sure what I'm being accused of."

He scoffed loudly and Byron rolled his eyes before landing a glare on me. With my father back to pacing, I mouthed a quick 'what the hell?' in his direction but he ignored me once more.

"I'm here today," my father continued. "Because firstly, I want to understand why you would talk to those heathens! To warn them! They were our main targets… Dumbledore is building an army in that pathetic excuse for a school and the whole point of last night was to permanently take out his main pawns. The Dark Lord is going to want answers. You should be thanking Merlin that Abraxas hasn't gone to him already!"

A million things rushed through my mind. How did they even know that? I was positive I had found a spot in the castle where the idiots working under Lucius wouldn't be able to find me. Though, I guess if the Marauders had been able to, I should have known better… But word reaching our fathers so quickly was what frightened me the most. Especially considering he could apparently reach me in person so easily.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, dropping my head. However, even as I said the words, I didn't believe them. "I didn't realize that was the plan."

"That doesn't matter, Elsbeth!" He yelled, making both me and Byron jump. He had stopped once more to tower over me. "They were targets nonetheless, no matter how significant. What sort of creature would possess you to not only tell them but even go so far as to prevent them from going?"

"I don't know," I shrugged helplessly. "I was just afraid. It's the type of thing that just shouldn't happen at school… I mean, I asked Byron a million times to just call it all off and when he wouldn't listen, I-I guess I just got desperate to help whoever I could."

"Help?" My father said incredulously. "You want to help the enemy, then?"

"That's not what I -"

"I always thought you were the more intelligent one of you two," he said harshly as he looked between my brother and me. "Living up to the Slytherin name, cunning as you were growing up. But it turns out Byron is both the brains and the brawn here. He understands when it's time to shut up and do as he's told, and that makes him smart."

My brain couldn't even fathom a response. I felt dejected and humiliated, and there wasn't even anyone else around to witness it.

"Maybe it's time you relearned," he continued. "The only reason you're protected is because of us. Those who are willing to do whatever it takes, no questions asked, to achieve our goals. We've been able to overlook minor indiscretions in the past but no longer. Sharpen up or soon you won't have us to hide behind."

At a time like this, being screamed at, I was usually one to cry or at least tear up. 'Too emotional' my mom always said. I fought so hard to keep up a calculated exterior but my eyes always betrayed me. More often than not, I would feel a prickle at the corners of them and fight hard to hold the tears in.

But not today. Oddly, I felt nothing. Completely numb to what was going on. Like the slap had pushed out anything beyond confusion and, surprisingly to me, anger. Here I was, being degraded in a shabby inn by my father when I should be enjoying a brisk October trip to Hogsmeade. Seeing all the decorations the shops had set up for Halloween before enjoying a warm Butterbeer.

But nope, I was here. Once again being sucked into this world that I tried so desperately to avoid. I knew the events of last night would follow me for a little while as everyone, including my brother and fiancee, got over the joy of it all. I was prepared to deal with it when necessary and move on. But instead, it was literally slapping me on the face.

So I was proper pissed. But as my father stared down at me with those angry eyes of his, it was time to decide. Stand down or fight back?

"Yes, father," I said calmly. I raised my head and straightened my back. "It won't happen again. I'll try harder."

I heard Byron let out what I perceived to be a relieved sigh. It only made me angrier.

"That's ma bichette," his tone became softer as he grasped my head in his hands. I flinched ever so slightly as he placed a kiss atop my forehead. He pulled back and stared at me lovingly in the eyes. "You've just got to use that beautiful brain of yours. We need you behind us, working with us. That is the only way we will succeed. I mean just look at your brother. He's thriving! The Dark Lord is so happy with him."

He glanced at Byron after he said this, a look of pride washing over his features. The latter just nodded slightly, though his face remained neutral.

"As he will be with you," he continued. "Once you start stepping up a bit. You're already on your way, just have to act with a little more devotion. Since you are devoted to the cause. Correct?"

He looked at me expectantly but there was really only one answer I could give him.

"Of course, father," I answered. There was no emotion behind the words but it seemed to suffice based on the rare small smile that crossed his features.

"Good," My father said as he straightened his robes. "Well! I'm off to meet the others. They should be arriving by floo any moment now."

He nodded with finality at Byron before heading out of the room. At the door, he turned back to us one more time.

"We're going to achieve great things. Together."

His eyes were full of excitement as he exited. The room dropped into a heavy silence as the door creaked shut.

"Well," Byron said casually, pushing himself off the wall and making his way to sit on a nearby chair. He crossed his legs smugly. "That honestly wasn't as bad as I thought it would be."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed, moving away from him to stand in front of a window. It was facing the street below. I watched as students started trickling into the village. They were separated off into groups, talking animatedly amongst themselves. Most likely they were chatting about what happened this morning.

"What?" He continued. "That was rather tame, no? I always knew you were the favorite… If that had been me, they would have heard him shrieking from the castle."

"Get out," I quipped, continuing to look out the window.

"Excuse me?" I heard him get up so I finally turned. He looked annoyed, glaring at me like he had been all morning.

"I said get out," I replied just as irritated. "I can't believe you knew he was here and didn't warn me."

"Beth," he sighed. "You should have expected something like this to happen. I mean, are you really that daft? What in the bloody hell were you thinking?"

"I told you time and time and time again that I didn't want this to happen," I felt my rage boil over.

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd be so stupid as to take matters into your own hands."

"It's not stupid to want to keep fellow classmates in school or, better yet, alive!"

"Well, those people that you want to keep alive so desperately don't deserve it. The Dark Lord has commanded it."

"You don't mean that," I was too shocked to sound angry as I reacted to him saying it.

He set his jaw, speaking through gritted teeth. "I do."

My breath hitched, appalled that he would even say those words. I searched for any hint that there was a crack in the armor, something that would indicate that he was lying but found nothing.

"You know," I said, looking him straight in the eyes. "He's never laid a hand on us. He was strict growing up, that's for sure. But not once did he ever raise a finger in our direction."

His face noticeably fell as he continued quietly. "Yeah, I know."

"Barely even yelled at us, really. Just stern. And we ended up turning out alright, I thought. At least before this year."

It was the first time I had really looked at my brother since yesterday morning in the common room. He looked extra tired, the scratches prominent on his face in the sunlight from the window behind me. One on his forehead looked like it really needed some attention from Madam Pomfrey but I guess he wasn't able to see her yet. In another time, I would have poked fun at him for getting in a fight or commented on his looks. But not today.

"Well," he said. "Sometimes people have to change for the better."

I turned away once more. "Get out."

Just then on the streets below, I saw the Marauders pass by. James was hunched over, clearly upset by the forced departure of his mates. The boys trudged along behind them, with Sirius slowing down to match pace with Lily who was behind them with a group of her friends. He pulled her forward to talk to her alone, indicating every now and again to his dejected friend at the front. With a sad smile, I watched as she rushed ahead to catch up with James. She sweetly linked arms with him and began talking.

I sighed sadly as those evasive tears began to prick my eyes.

"Beth," Byron said softly, taking my attention away from the students down below. "You have to understand -"

"I said get out!" I turned and yelled.

He stared at me for a few shocked seconds, gazing into my eyes intensely with something akin to pain. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, making the welt that was forming around my eye pulsate even harder.

"Fine," he mumbled. He walked away like he was going to leave but then stopped next to the side table of the plush sofa in the middle of the room. He picked up a rectangular package wrapped in golden foil. "This is from mother, by the way. She knew you would send it back if Grimsfeather delivered it so she told us to give it to you and make you keep it."

And then he stormed out. The door slammed loudly behind him, rocking the framework.

I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm down. And then another when it didn't work. And then another. After what felt like an hour, I was able to move my hands around without them shaking. And, not wanting to look at the groups of friends out the window any longer, I moved to a mirror hanging above a nearby vanity.

Sitting down, I moved my hair aside and behind my ear. Surely enough, the area right under my left eye at the apex of my cheek was forming a good size welt. There was no doubt that by this time tomorrow I would have a pretty nasty bruise to show off. I would definitely have to go shopping in Hogsmeade to pick up something strong to cover it up.

With a heavy sigh, I rubbed my eyes while pushing away the pain of the action as my fingers grazed over my left one. When I looked back in the mirror, I couldn't recognize myself. It was like looking at a corpse or perhaps the shell of a person that was left behind after receiving a Dementor's kiss. But that was being generous.

The gold foiling of the package glinted in the faint sunlight of the window, drawing my eyes toward it in the reflection. I groaned, knowing exactly what it was. Resting my head on my hand, I just stared at it. Sending it back was not an option this year, as that would be making an already dreary situation much worse. Perhaps even more violent down the road if today's events had been an indicator.

There were some quiet knocks on the door and I turned in my seat to stare at it. Byron's movements had really done a number on it, I noticed now. Paint chips had fallen to the floor while large strips of the substance now held on by a thread. I hoped that no one actually stayed long term at this place.

Thinking it was him once more, I ignored the knocks. Maybe I could will him to just go away with my gaze from the other side of the door. But after a few moments they came again, accompanied by a soft voice.

"Elsbeth?" Came Andromeda's muffled voice. "May I come in?"

"Oh. Yes, come on in," I called out.

The door slowly opened, a meek-looking Andromeda stepping inside before closing it once more. She leaned against it, probably sensing my mood and not wanting to push anything.

"Byron sent me," she said with a small but genuine smile. "Wanted me to come check on you."

I scoffed quietly. My eyes focused back on the package. Seems like each member of my family was showing me how much they 'cared' today.

"So is it true?" She continued when I didn't say anything more. "Your father's here?"

"Yeah," I replied simply. "I guess they weren't kidding when they said everyone important would be coming."

"Guess so."

She made her way over to the couch and plopped down, sending a cloud of dust wafting around her in the process. She started coughing immediately as she waved her arms around in an attempt to disperse the particles.

"What's this?" She asked through coughs. She was pointing at the gleaming object just next to her.

"It's a birthday present for me," I grimaced.

"What? I had no idea… When's your birthday?"

"Next week, the 30th," I leaned back against the vanity and crossed my arms. "My parents were so disappointed that I couldn't manage to wait just one more day and be born on Halloween."

"No way! How did I not know that?"

"I try not to broadcast it, really. So if you could keep this between us, that would be great."

Try was an understatement. I went out of my way to keep my birthday under wraps. They were a big deal in our household so thankfully it landed during the school year. I would have never been able to get away with not celebrating it if I were with my mother. Here, I could just ignore it, sending back all the flocks of owls bearing gifts that she would try to throw at me. And it wasn't because I was ungrateful, and sometimes I even felt bad that she had to put up with my lack of enthusiasm over the subject. It wasn't her fault that my tenth birthday had sucked the joy out of the rest that would follow.

"But why?" She said, eyes filling with glee. "Birthdays are so fun! Maybe we should throw a party or -"

She stopped abruptly, squinting her eyes. Leaning forward, she looked like she was examining me and I raised my eyebrows as if to ask why. Then suddenly she gasped, shooting out of her seat and over to me.

"Elsbeth, what is that?" She asked in alarm as she walked over.

To my surprise, she gently grasped my head in her hands and I shivered at how noticeably cold they were. She tilted my head to the side and I realized exactly what she was looking at. She gasped once more.

"This looks fresh! And it's definitely going to bruise… Merlin, did Byron do this to you?"

him to be on the other side of the door listening. And hell, maybe he or one of their little spies was.

"No," I said, swiveling back to face the mirror. Her face was worried in the reflection as I examined it once more. It definitely was getting worse. "This guy is courtesy of my father, actually."

"Dear Salazar," I watched as her eyes went wide. "Why would he do such a thing?"

"It's nothing," I said dismissively. "Just another exciting thing he's learned under the Dark Lord, I suppose… Let's just hope Byron doesn't catch on."

The frown on her face somehow sank further and I felt bad for saying anything.

"Do you have any powder?" I asked, trying to distract her from the mark as she watched it in the mirror.

"Oh," she fumbled, finally looking away from it. "Yeah, in my bag. One second."

She went back to where she had discarded her bag on the couch. Rummaging through it, she finally produced a small compact that looked like a silver shell.

"Latest on the market," she said, trying to sound enthusiastic but failing. "Should easily do the trick. Otherwise, I'm asking for my money back."

"Thanks," I said with a small smile. With little dabs, I began to cover up the redness on my face. Sure enough, in just a few seconds the welt had all but disappeared. "I'm going to have to get my hands on this."

"I got it in Diagon Alley, so I can have my mother send me one to give to you by tomorrow morning," she smiled as I handed it back. "Consider it an early birthday present."

"Ugh," I groaned as I got up and walked over to occupy her previous spot on the couch. She plopped down next to me, sending off a new billow of dust. "I won't take it if you call it that."

"Alright, fine. It'll just be considered a random gift on a random day," she chuckled. "But could you just humor me and open that one, then?"

She nodded to the package on the table behind me. With a sigh, I turned and grabbed the thing harshly. It was heavier than I thought, knocking off my balance and forcing me to slam it down on my knee.

"Ouch," I muttered. "What is this, a piece of flagstone?"

It was large and shaped like a rectangular box. I ruled out the usual clothing or jewelry of some sort based on the weight. I stared at it for a while longer, trying to guess but came up with nothing.

"Open it!" Andromeda exclaimed playfully. "I'm dying with anticipation."

"Alright, alright," I chuckled, ripping at the paper.

It was something black based on the first rip and not enclosed in any kind of box as I previously thought. As I moved ribbon and paper out of the way, I was able to see that it was actually composed of black leather and pages. A key dangled off a cord attached to a lock on the front. It had definitely been used, with the visible pages a worn yellow and scuffs all around the cover that encircled an emboss of a serpent's head.

"What is it?" She asked.

"Looks like a journal of some sort," I said as I traced my fingers over the snake. "A used one, at that."

"Oh, here's a card."

She picked up an envelope that I must have accidentally discarded while opening the gift. On the back, it was sealed with a wax stamp carrying the Ledoux crest. It was elegant, with flowers circling delicately around our house sigil, the chamois. I opened it to read the elegant script of my mother.

My Dear Elsebeth,

Happiest of birthdays, my sweet! Seventeen! You're a grown woman now… Oh, how old that makes me feel!

I know you don't like presents but please don't send this back. It's not from me if that encourages you to hold onto it.

My aunt wanted me to give this to you. I was visiting her last week and she said that it's 'time you have it.' Whatever that means. You know how she is these days.

I'm not even completely sure what it is. She enchanted the key so only you could open it. How can she be in such a condition but still so clever! A powerful woman, your great aunt is. You'll have to tell me what's inside it over tea when you're home for Christmas. I'm quite intrigued!

Anyway, it seemed like it would mean a great deal to her if you kept it. So I best not be receiving a parcel from Grimsfeather! Otherwise, you'll be the one visiting to tell her why it's not in your possession.

My sweet, please do try to enjoy your birthday this year - it's a significant age to turn!

All my love,

Mother

"Aw, that's sweet of your great aunt," Andromeda said as she handed the letter back to me after I let her read it. "Where does she live? I don't think I've seen her at any of the galas."

"Um," I fiddled with the key. It was a small, intricate silver one with green gemstones. I wondered if they might be actual emeralds. "She's at St. Mungos."

Her eyes widened. "Oh."

"Yeah, she's actually why I don't like my birthdays," I continued quietly.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," she moved closer and placed a reassuring hand on mine.

Usually, I wouldn't like the contact but the look in her eyes was genuine. She didn't ask me out loud but I knew she was curious what I meant. I don't think anyone outside of our family knew about my great aunt, not even the Malfoys or the Blacks. Having a relative in St. Mungos for her condition wasn't exactly proper in our world. So ever since she had been admitted, we were told to keep the information to ourselves, especially amongst those within our circle at Hogwarts. But I didn't think Andromeda was the kind to go around gossiping.

"She meant a lot to me when I was younger," I finally said. "My mother's parents died when we were really young, so she was the one who watched Byron and me when our parents were busy or out of town. Which was pretty usual, as you can imagine. We practically split our childhood between her manor in Scotland and our grandmaman's chateau in France.

"They actually reminded me a lot of one another. Both a part of strict pureblood families but very open-minded. Sometimes to the embarrassment of others in the family which was hilarious during the holidays. But yeah, we spent a lot of time with her. She taught us our first charms and had this wonderful garden full of all sorts of beautiful things. I guess I got my green thumb from her.

"Anyway, she actually worked at Hogwarts. For just a year. Working in administration or something… But the day she was set to return home for summer holiday, she disappeared. Completely out of nowhere. No notes, nothing. We thought maybe she had just run off. Finally escaping from her family and not looking back. But then we started to get worried. Who actually disappears without a single person knowing where she went and why?

"So we went months without a word and then, out of nowhere, she's found."

"Found?" Andromeda said in shock. "What does that mean?"

"It literally means found. Some students were carrying out detention in the Forbidden Forest and discovered her holed up under some fallen trees. It looked like she hadn't eaten much in a while and she was… completely out of it. I mean no sense of who or where she was, really."

"Oh, Merlin," she sighed sadly.

"So they immediately sent her to St. Mungos and I spent my tenth birthday in the Janus Thickey Ward listening to my great aunt babble on about nonsense. She had to be restrained several times because she got so worked up. She was such a bright witch, so it was really difficult to see her so hysterical and… tortured.

"I try to write her as often as I can… And I visit her often enough I think. Usually over Christmas holiday. Every time I go, I wish that she would begin to make sense again. Like she was turning back to her old self. But she never does and I don't think she ever will."

With a small shrug, I ended my tale.

"Oh, Elsbeth," Andromeda said as she squeezed my hand lightly. "No one should have to go through something like that. I'm so sorry."

"Thanks," I smiled sadly at her. "I'm used to it, really. It's just hard knowing I'm not able to do anything to help her. And my birthday is just a reminder of that."

"Well, it seems like it does help her. I mean, she wouldn't have given you this if she didn't still recognize and love you," she moved her hand away to free mine. "You should open it."

I stared at the journal once more, fiddling with the key. It clinked against the lock as I gently lifted it up slightly and dropped it.

"You're right," I sighed. "I mean, what's the worst that could happen?"

She looked on with anticipation as I straightened up, placing the journal between us on the couch. The key was practically in the lock, making a magical jingling sound, when there was an aggressive knock on the door. Byron didn't wait for an answer before he opened the door.

"They're ready," he said. "Let's go."

With a weary look between us, Andromeda and I got up and followed him out the door. The floorboards creaked as we made our way up yet another flight of steps. Merlin, how many floors did this place have? We made our way down a somehow shabbier hallway and I gripped the journal to my chest. Something felt off and it seemed Andromeda sensed it too from the look on her face.

"Ladies first," my brother said unenthusiastically as he opened the furthest door.

We cautiously stepped inside. Conversations amongst the parties began to die down at our presences, with groups of individuals getting into position around the room as if rehearsed. It wasn't filled with nearly as many individuals as had been downstairs. It seemed to be just vital classmates and players, so downstairs must have just been some sort of celebration. Lucius sent me a smile as an indication that I should go over to him. With as much confidence as I could muster, I walked across the room and we linked arms.

"What's that?" He asked, indicating to the journal I held at my side.

"Um," I shifted. "Just a present from my mother."

"Oh!" He exclaimed quietly. "I'm so sorry, my dear. I forgot your birthday was coming up."

"It's okay if you forget." I wish I hadn't had to tell him in the first place but it was obviously a must know between engaged couples.

"Nonsense," he patted my hand.

"Um, who is that?" I asked, changing the subject and nodding towards the front.

At the head of the room were my father, Abraxas, and a large roughed up man that I had never seen before. Rounding out the group, to my surprise, was Belletraix Lestrange, previously Black before her marriage this past summer. She was looking a little out of sorts, almost manic. Her frenzied gaze sent a shiver down my spine. They all were cast ominously in shadow from the fireplace behind them, adding to the unsettling ambiance.

"Ah, him," Lucius' face curled up in what could only be described as disgust as he spoke lowly. "Fenrir Greyback. He's a werewolf. And a nasty one at that. Heard he prefers children."

I watched the man as Lucius spoke. He eyed the room with pleasure and I wondered if he viewed us as equals or his next victims.

"In fact," Lucius continued. "I heard he changed someone who's attending Hogwarts right now. All hearsay, of course. I mean, how could someone go around as a werewolf and no one know?"

"Yeah," my voice was quivering. If what Lucius said was true, that could only mean one thing. I couldn't believe I was staring at the man who had turned Remus. "That's ridiculous, really."

"Ahem," Bellatrix quipped loudly, silencing everyone who was still carrying on hushed conversations. I shifted nervously in Lucius' arm but he patted my hand once more as if that would reassure me.

"Thank you all for gathering," Abraxas' voice rang out through the dark space.

A locking noise came from behind us and I turned to notice two more individuals dressed in black that I had never seen before. One lifted his wand and ran it over the door, no doubt putting some extra protection and silencing charms on the entryway. I met Andromeda's stare from her position next to my brother as I turned back, us two being the only ones who seemed to notice them. Her eyes were alight with fear and I imagined mine must be as well.

"Last night was no doubt a success," Lucius' father continued. "The Dark Lord is mostly pleased with your work."

"Here, here!" Some twat rang out. A few idiots joined him but quickly quieted down at the stoic looks from the men at the front. Bellatrix just looked smug at the audacity of them.

"Yes, yes. There's celebration to be had. You all should feel accomplished that you conducted such a plan, mostly devised amongst yourselves," he then stopped as if to eye everyone in the room. "But you were reckless. Only a few sent off to St. Mungos? Less than that expelled. And not even anyone we had instructed you to take out."

At that, my father shot me a look. I dodged it by focusing on the man speaking.

"It's pathetic," the tension in the room had gotten noticeably heavier as he spat the words out. In stark contrast, Bellatrix looked absolutely gleeful, a wide smile crossing her face as she watched the tortured ones of all the boys around the room. "If you can't even accomplish a simple school standoff, how can you expect to be successful out there."

He pointed a finger towards a nearby window as if to accent his point. Lucius dropped my arm, an exaggerated pout taking over his features.

"Where literal life and death are on the line," he continued, beginning to lightly pace. My father and he were starting to look like copies of one another under this regime. "You won't last a minute in a real battle at this rate. If those were the only results, that means last night was full of cowardice and sloppiness. Get it together! Or there won't be a place for any of you when we correct the world."

Bellatrix's giggle rang out in the silence, unnerving me even more. For once in my life, I wish Lucius hadn't dropped my hand so I could cower near someone and have it look natural.

"Nevertheless," he stopped moving, placed back in his original position as he casually put his hands in his pockets. "The Dark Lord sees promise still, despite it all. But he wants us to take it further. We must strive beyond your peers. Move past these so-called classmates you are forced to cohabitate with at that poor excuse of an educational institution. Yes, the Dark Lord has great ambitions for us all to take this to the top. He wants us to aim straight for the head."

He couldn't mean what I thought he did, could he? It simply wasn't a possibility that they could ever hope to accomplish it. And if they could, what then? There would be no hope for the wizarding world. No hope that we could get out of this mess. No hope for those like me, who were stuck in an impossible situation where all considerations of 'choice' were lost. But his next words confirmed my fears.

"We're going to destroy Albus Dumbledore. And we're going to do it together."

---

I fiddled with the key to the journal. Clink. Clink. Clink. The gems were confirmed to be emeralds by Greta when I had returned to the dorms last night. She ogled over them for hours, once even trying to get into the journal itself to see if there were somehow more stuck in the pages. The key simply wouldn't turn as she tried to maneuver it in the lock.

The greenhouse was a little too hot tonight, trying to overcompensate for the full force of fall that had oddly kicked in today. I was sitting at one of the workstations, my Dittany samples long forgotten as they sat in their bottles nearby. They were practically ready to go anyhow, just needed to seal them off properly… I thought it was a good time to take a break and finally see what was inside this thing. But I had yet to put the key in the lock, just staring at it for what must have been twenty minutes now.

"What is that thing, anyway?" River scared me as she reentered the greenhouse holding some potted Wiggentree. "It's massive."

"Um, it's a gift," I replied meekly.

"Oooh," she cooed, setting the plant down right next to me. She pulled out some shears and began cutting some of the leaves. "What's the occasion?"

"Just," I hesitated. "A gift."

"Please," she scoffed, placing the leaves in jars. "We go over this every year… I know it's your birthday this week. The teachers have access to student files, remember? And while I couldn't care less about the others, you know I wouldn't forget yours. But don't tell anyone about that or else they'll accuse me of favoritism."

She sent me a bright smile while I chuckled. Of course she would know. She was right, this was a discussion we had every year, despite my hopes that she had forgotten. However, she didn't make a big deal of it per my request, for which I was thankful. She would usually just leave me a small present containing some sort of seedling and a tart on a greenhouse workstation. It was a kind but muted gesture.

"Have you opened it yet?" She continued, indicating to the journal. "What's inside?"

"I haven't yet," I turned my direction back to the book in front of me. It sat there ominously, beckoning me to take a look inside but unnerving me at the same time.

"You should! It looks well used. I bet there is all sorts of magic on those pages."

She bumped my shoulder playfully as she walked past to place the plant on another table that was already occupied by a multitude of others. We had recently reorganized, placing a majority of the light-craving plants on that particular table as that's where most of the sunlight would hit through the windows these days.

"I'll get around to it," I smiled back at her as she came to sit next to me, facing the opposite direction and leaning back on the table. I resumed clinking the key.

"Well, let me know how that goes," she said reassuringly. "Are you about to pack up for the night?"

"No, I've got to finish up sealing off this Dittany."

"Hmm," she narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure it's not because you want to go work on that Wolfsbane Potion?"

I froze, the key hovering above the journal in my hand. How on earth could she have known about that? Nightfall had usually well fallen over the grounds when I made way down here to work on it. I had picked the most obscure greenhouse, one hardly visited, and placed as many concealment charms on the potion as it sat under layers of tarp. There was no way someone could stumble across it. Or at least I thought.

"What are you on about?" I let out a nervous chuckle, trying to sound as confident as I could.

"Oh please," she giggled. "I practically live down here too, you know. Did you think I wouldn't notice you heading down here every night for the past five days? Usually, I wouldn't think too much of it but I started to get suspicious when you went to the same greenhouse on the edge of the forest… And no offense but for someone like me, who knows all these greenhouses inside and out, you can't hide something like that."

"Dammit," I grumbled, leaning my head down on the journal while she chuckled.

"So who's it for?"

As I closed my eyes and laid my head on the book, I contemplated telling her. The Marauders had said only Dumbledore and Pomfrey knew… But how true was that? Had it spread to all the professors for safety purposes? I decided to err on the side of caution.

"What?" I pretended to be confused, leaning back up. "No one? It's just a side project. It is one of the most complicated potions out there… I thought it would be good practice."

"Hmm," she looked at me and I couldn't tell if she believed me or not.

"Why? Should it be for someone?" I tried to pry, pushing to see what she knew.

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Not that I know of."

Oh, she totally knew.

"Right," I replied just as casually. "Well, since you already know. Yes. I am planning on working on the potion. You caught me."

"Knew it," she smiled once more and then made to get up. "Well, good luck, my Bubotuber!"

"Wait, you're not going to tell me to stop?"

"Of course not! What type of educator would I be if I prevented you from doing such amazing 'independent research.' I say go for it!"

Putting on her jacket and scarf, she made for the door, picking up a prepped box of ingredients to bring up to the castle. The cool air was refreshing as she propped open the door with her foot.

"Oh, but you need to add a little more Moonwort… Shouldn't be too late to do so," she stopped to say. "But open that journal first! I'm dying to know what's inside."

With one last smile, she disappeared. I turned back to the journal, clinking the key. Seemed like everyone wanted to know what was contained inside and on its pages. With a sigh, I finally picked up the key and placed it in the lock. Unlike with Greta, the key turned easily, like slicing a sharp knife through butter. With a dramatic click, the lock popped open.

I removed the lock from its fastening, moving the strap away so now the only thing that stood between me and the pages was the thick leather cover. With a deep breath I opened it.

Property of Karin Sauer, it read in some regal calligraphy on the first page. My great aunt had never married, retaining her family name along with her two older brothers. They were a noble German family, their ancestors having immigrated to Britain long ago. However, that didn't quell their national pride, with every member of the family that carried the name forced to learn their native tongue. I was thankful that that hadn't applied to me as I wasn't sure if I could handle learning both German and French growing up. But our mother made sure we learned the basics.

Flipping the page, I was surprised at how durable the used and stained paper was. It was the thickness of a hearty piece of parchment, nearly impossible to bend as I moved on to page after page. It became clear to me early on that this was not only her journal but partially a grimoire of sorts. She had written down countless spells and incantations, as well as recipes and potion instructions. My favorite pages were the drawings of various plants, where she had notated in great deal each individual part, origins, and popular uses.

Picking it up, I made my way out to the garden, longing for some cooler air. I plopped down on the soil in a hidden alcove deep within the plants, resting the book on my crisscrossed legs. It was clear that my great aunt was no stranger to exploration, which kind of shocked me. I wondered how she got away with never marrying and being able to delve into her own interests. She must have been the talk of the town amongst our peers, and not in a good way. Nevertheless, it seemed to my benefit as I now had this book of seemingly never-ending resources that even overshadowed my own Herbology textbooks.

The journal entries were fascinating as well. They went into great detail about her walk-in with an Acromantula, as well as missteps when creating things like the Wiggenweld Potion. It was more like notes to herself with callouts for what to do in the future for the most part in that sense. However, there were personal accounts sprinkled in there. A bad night she had when attending a family dinner, which I found so relatable, or a joyful day she spent in the greenhouse during her time while working at Hogwarts. It made me smile as I read through them from my spot in the garden as the sun set above me.

The journal reached its final pages and her research turned down an odd path. Instead of Mandrakes and Gillyweed, she went on for pages in great detail about the founders and their associated heirlooms. There were multiple diagrams of each object, each circled by meticulous notes about what they were made of, their enchantments, and their last whereabouts. Along with this, lining each of the pages were runes of all varieties, accompanied by their definitions. I traced my fingers along the margins, trying to link them with what was going on on the pages but not able to make any connections.

The last page was another diagram of Salazar's locket beside a rune, larger, circled several times. I recognized it from a recent lesson as some sort of saltwater variant of aqua runes. Analyzing it over and over again, I couldn't pinpoint the meaning and it seemed to be the only one she forgot to define. I gave out a huff as I leaned back against the greenhouse.

"What's got you in a fuss?" Came a quiet voice from the entrance to the garden. One I was not expecting.

The sun had practically disappeared at this point, the only real light coming from the windows of the greenhouse above me. So it took a moment for the full features of Regulus to come into view. He sauntered over, hands in his pockets. His hair was almost as long as his brother's and I wondered if he soon would be wearing it in a bun too.

"How is it that people I don't care to talk with are always finding me these days?" I groaned as he marched forward. He towered over me for a moment before gracefully sitting himself down on the ground in front of me. An unexpected move from someone like him. "Look at you, getting in the dirt."

He shrugged. "I have a way of surprising people."

"Hmm," I said simply, narrowing my eyes. "What are you doing down here?"

"Oh, just taking a stroll in the moonlight. I notice you always come down here so I thought I would see what you are up to."

A stroll in the moonlight? Something clicked and I couldn't help the gasp that escaped my lips. Oh, no. The Marauders were set to be down here at any moment to come grab the potion. Word of my meetings with them could absolutely not get back to our inner circle, which means Regulus would have to leave as soon as possible. I tried to calm my now shaking hands but judging by his raised eyebrows, I could tell he knew something was off.

"Oh," I said, my voice trembling a little. I coughed to clear my throat before continuing. "Just looking at this."

I raised the heavy journal in my hands before plopping it back down onto my lap. Just before he arrived, I had flipped back to a page about Ravenclaw's diadem. Even in this low light, the diagram of the tiara seemed to shimmer.

"What's that?" He asked softly as he inched closer, now able to peer at it upside down as he sat opposite me.

"It's my great aunt's old journal. She gave it to me as a gift."

"For your birthday?"

"Merlin," I breathed. "Why does everyone suddenly know about that as well?"

"You're getting married to basically the prince of the new world," he said nonchalantly as he leaned closer to the pages. "Birthdays are the kind of intel that gets dispersed amongst the lot of us that matter. Don't be surprised if you get a few more gifts in the coming week. As a sign of 'loyalty' or some sort of rubbish."

I groaned. "Well, please tell me you won't be getting me anything?"

"No, not me," he tilted his head to get a better look, actually flipping to the next page to read on. "But my mother will be sending an owl at some point."

"Great," I mumbled. At this point, his neck was practically breaking from the strain of trying to peer at the diagrams and notes within the journal. "No need to bend over backward. Here."

I turned the journal sideways so now it was leaning on one of my knees and one of his. His body physically relaxed a bit at the new positioning. We sat in silence for a moment as he read over a couple more pages, seeming to analyze them in great detail.

"Why was she writing about these?" He asked.

"No clue. I mean look at this," I jumped back to the earlier pages of the journal. "She wrote exclusively about plants and recipes but then suddenly," I flipped back to the final pages. "She's writing nonstop about the founder's artifacts."

"That's odd."

"Right? No one's seen any of them in what? Decades?"

"More like centuries," he mumbled. Like I had done, he began running fingers along the runes in the margins. "And then there's these… They must be connected, right?"

"I guess," I shrugged. "But I can't possibly see how."

"Quite the mystery," he said as he handed me back the book. "One I would say that's definitely worth looking into. It clearly meant a lot to her."

"Maybe," I closed it with a thud. "But I'm personally more interested with everything else that's in here… I mean the details she includes about herbs and potions. You wouldn't think someone like her, someone from a sickly pureblood family, would have had the time to do all the research she did."

He smirked. "Sounds like some of that rubbed off on you, unfortunately."

His tone was playful but it struck a nerve in me. It was another moment where I was confused about where Regulus stood in this all. Were my interests unfortunate in a way where he was pitying me or did he find them embarrassing? Was he actually trying to be friendly or just humoring me while carrying on some ulterior motive?

"Regulus," I said sternly as I etched over the serpent head on the cover. "You're not who's 'looking over' me for them are you?"

He titled his head, locking his confused eyes with my own. "What do you mean?"

"I know they've been watching me," I sighed. "They seem to know my every move. Even who I'm talking to and what about. And it definitely isn't Byron and Lucius as I doubt they have the time. Or maybe they even consider it as below them to concern themselves with following me… So I'm just trying to figure out who is doing it for them."

"Oh," he said, seeming genuinely surprised. "Well. It's not me. I might do a lot of watching but it's not for anyone but myself. And I only circulate the information I gather when I think it will benefit me."

"Right," I looked down, a little defeated. Regulus was really the only one of my brother's pawns that I felt comfortable asking this, so I was now at an impasse.

"If it makes you feel better," he grabbed a nearby weed and started picking it apart. "Nothing you've been doing has warranted me telling anyone anything. Despite the fact that there's definitely been some information I've gathered that your brother and fiancee would find interesting."

"Well, thanks?"

"Oh, you're so welcome," he said playfully.

I gave out a mock scoff as I watched the smirk form on his face. We sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, the only noises to be heard being that of the critters skittering about in bushes and trees nearby.

"Are you alright?" He asked quietly, as if not wanting to break the silence.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I looked up to meet concerned eyes.

"I mean, it mustn't have been pleasant to see your father yesterday. You didn't come into the meeting room exactly looking thrilled."

"Oh, that," I sighed. "He's worried about where my loyalties lie."

"Your facade must be chipping," his tone started lighthearted but then he continued on more seriously. "You should be more careful. If an issue like that has reached your father, who knows who else has heard."

We both knew what 'who else' exactly meant. And what it would entail if it were true that he had heard. But last I knew, everyone in my family was alive and well so I must have been safe, or at least spared, for the moment.

"I know," I whispered. "I'm just so confused as to what to do sometimes, you know?"

As I looked at Regulus, I didn't understand what had compelled me to open up like this. His eyes were neutral, not expressing any thoughts in one way or the other. Calculated. I hadn't caught him in a moment of emotion like before. Right now he was absorbing and I was just feeding into it.

"Actually," I continued on, my grip on the book a little tighter. "I guess you don't. Having that thing on your arm means you've made up your mind, right? I don't know what I'm going on about."

"It doesn't, actually," he gave out a long sigh, placing his palms in the dirt behind him so he could lean back. "We won't talk specifics, of course, but… Hypothetically, you're not the only one that's a victim of circumstance."

Now his eyes had turned genuine, a welcome reprieve from his previous demeanor. Was he admitting that he also was against all this? Maybe Regulus was much different than I had previously thought. A possible ally in the darkness to come. It might be too soon to tell. But nonetheless, I had to admit he was excellent at hiding in plain sight and shrewd to a fault. At the very least, he could be a good asset to keep close by when I needed information.

"You know," I resigned. "You're really good at the whole mind messing thing."

"The best," he smiled.

We shared a small chuckle but my mood quickly diminished when I noticed how late it was getting. My anxiety rose once more as I realized that at any second his brother and his friends could turn the corner.

"Well, um," I ran a dirty hand through my hair to distract from how they were once more shaking, instantly regretting it as I felt dirt cling to some strands. "I should really get inside… Got a bunch of Dittany to pack up."

"Of course," he smiled and I got the nagging feeling that there was something hidden behind this one.

He got up gracefully, brushing off his pants as he did so and then held out a hand to me. I took it gratefully, standing not nearly as prettily as the heavy book threw off my balance. I tucked it to my side as we walked out of the garden and to the front of the greenhouse.

"You should actually look into all that," he nodded to the journal as we reached the entrance. I could already feel the sweat forming on my forehead from the heat inside that contrasted so wildly with the sweater I was wearing. "You know, while you've got the chance. I'd actually be happy to help out too if you'd like. There's no time for extracurriculars in the Ministry, after all, and we'll be there soon enough."

"Right," I said sadly. Sooner rather than later my days would be devoted to boring Ministry affairs underlined with plots to change the wizarding world as we knew it. I'm sure I would be too busy for anything else. I shifted the book around in my arms, almost like I was literally weighing the idea of it. "I'll give it a look. But I'm sure it's nothing."

"You never -" He stopped short, suddenly reaching down to pick up something off of the ground. "Oh. Looks like this might have dropped out of it."

He held up a rectangular piece of paper and looked at it. Something on the front must have caught his eye as he began to smile slightly.

"Cute," he said simply as he handed it over.

As he placed it in my hands, I realized it was not a piece of paper but a picture. In it smiled several girls, one in the center I immediately recognized as my great aunt in her youth based on other pictures I had seen around her house as a child. She was wearing her Slytherin robes and smiling widely, her arm hooked with the girl beside her who was, very surprisingly, wearing a Beauxbatons uniform. In fact, a couple of the girls were. There were also a couple sporting Durmstrang attire. I flipped the picture over. 'Triwizard Tournament, Fifth Year,' it read.

"Weird," I said, astonished. I flipped it back over to analyze the girls once more. "She must have been in school during one of the attempts to revive the Tournament. I thought the last one was ages ago but I guess not."

"Ah, the Tournament," he sighed. "I wish that was still around. Might do all of us some good, really. With it being about unification and all."

"Right?" I said flatly as I focused on the picture.

The world around me faded as I focused on the faces of the girls. Something was odd but I couldn't put a finger on it. Feeling my eyebrows scrunch, I looked over them one by one, trying to figure out what was throwing me off. And then I reached the girl from Beauxbatons my great aunt had linked arms with. I calculated dates and ages in my head, and no matter how many ways I thought about it, it always added up. But it couldn't be, right? However, as I leaned in closer, there was really no denying it. The short hair, the elegant height. It was a face I knew all too well…

"Elsbeth?" Regulus said, breaking me from my focus. "You still with us?"

"Um," I stumbled, opening the journal and placing the picture in between a couple of the pages. "Yeah, fine."

"What is it?"

"Nothing. I think?" I sounded so unsure as I began to ponder everything once more. After a few more seconds, I had to force myself out of the mind hole I was digging. "I'm not sure, actually… But yeah. I think it's nothing."

But in fact, though, it wasn't nothing if it meant what I thought it did. It meant that my family situation was a little more complex than I had originally thought. I was unsure what the implications of this might be or if I even wanted to find out. This journal now felt like it transcended just the ramblings of one woman. And I got the sinking feeling that I had to absolutely discover the secrets that lie within its pages. It almost felt like it was given specifically to me for a reason.

"Okay, then," he said with a chuckle. "I'll be off then. Let me know if anything else comes up when you're going through it. Can't wait to see how this mystery unfolds."

"Right," I said distractedly. My mind barely registered when he began to move away and up towards the castle.

"Oh, Elsbeth?" He turned back to me suddenly.

"Yeah?" I jerked out of my thoughts to look at him.

"Tell my brother and his friends I said 'hello,' would you?" He smirked at my uncontrollable shocked expression before turning with finality and vanishing into the night.

Frozen to the spot, I watched him go. I was surprised I didn't drop the book, given how my entire body seemed to go numb. He knew I was meeting with the Marauders? But how? He said he wasn't their spy and seemed so genuine about it… But had he lied? He's implied over and over again about how he works for himself. Maybe I had jumped the wand on assuming he would be an ally moving forward.

For now, I had to shake it off. There was already too much information and too many questions that were filling my brain. This was on top of my need to add the final touches to the Wolfsbane Potion before the boys in question actually showed up. With a determined shake of the head, I straightened up and walked down to the furthest greenhouse.

The heat of it hit me hard, it being the muggiest of all the greenhouses we had as it held the most tropical of our plants and fungi. I wish I had worn a lighter shirt under my sweater but was stuck sweating. I hadn't even been in there for a minute before I was rolling up my sleeves and wiping my face with a clean towel. Flapping my sweater to try to get some sort of air circulating on my torso, I walked over to the hidden brew and threw back the tarp.

With a heave, I pulled the cauldron up and placed it on the nearest burner. With a flick of my wand, a fire appeared underneath, and soon after the potion began to boil. Pulling out the recipe book I had hidden nearby, I flipped back to the page that I had bookmarked. Step by step, I followed the directions for the last day's instructions. Keeping in mind River's recommendation, I threw in the extra Moonwort as the last piece. It emitted the appropriate faint blue smoke, indicating I had brewed it perfectly.

With a happy giggle to myself, I grabbed two large glass bottles from our stock. I marked the date on the label and went to place it on the front. However, I pulled it back last second, writing 'For Moony' at the bottom and then placing it on the bottle. Carefully, I funneled the potion into both of them before corking them off. To seal the deal, I lit up some hot wax and secured the cork to make sure it couldn't be easily opened before necessary.

Satisfied with my work, I rubbed my forehead once more with a towel as I sat down at a nearby table in front of the journal. Without hesitation this time I turned the key in the lock and opened it. Immediately, I flipped to where I had slipped in the picture. I picked it up and placed it close to my face, staring at it intently once more. In the greenhouse lighting, there was no denying that my initial thoughts had been correct.

It was effortless to recognize my great aunt. She stuck out in her Slytherin uniform and it was her journal after all, so it was easy to connect the dots based on old pictures I had seen of her. However, what had given me pause was the girl next to her. Outside in the dark, it was just a hunch based on a familiar feeling. But now, looking at it so clearly, I was positive. In this picture, my great aunt was linking arms with my grandmaman. They had known each other.

The picture suddenly felt hot in my hands, like it was all just so unbelievable to the point that it was physically affecting me. With a little toss, it landed back on the journal right over a diagram of Salazar's locket. What could this mean? How come no one knew? Or did my parents know and just not say anything? I can't imagine it would be something that would just slip their minds. This felt more like an intentional coverup of some sort. But why?

It had to go back to this journal, particularly her research on the founders. It just didn't make sense that she would make such a pivot like this. The entries dated from when I was around five to when I was nine, with her last entry being just a few weeks before she disappeared. If this was related to her connection with my grandmaman, did that mean they had been in touch that recently?

I stared at the diagram, inhaling the lines of the locket. 'Passed on to the Gaunts,' one line read. 'Disappeared soon after,' it said just below that. There was more information about the history of the locket on this page, like some known owners, locations it resided, and a general timeline of when it went missing seemingly out of nowhere. The runes on the page drew my attention well. They were complex, much more intricate than the ones we were learning about in class. I couldn't even begin to decipher most of them but was able to make out a few like 'water,' 'creature,' and 'departure.' Interesting that I had just committed the last one to memory and here it showed up again. Maybe I should pay more attention in that class from now on.

Rubbing my eyes, I leaned back. Tonight was definitely not the night to delve into this, especially after the last couple of days I had. Shoving the photo firmly into the book, ignoring the smiles of my family members as they giggled to one another, I closed it with a loud thud. The key jingled as I used it to lock the journal back up. Once pushed to the side, I crossed my arms on the table in front of me and laid my head down.

"Do you think we should wake her?" A muffled voice came from behind me. It was calm but course, easily recognizable as the soft tone of Remus.

"Nah," came a more smug voice. It was a toss-up between Sirius and James, to be honest. "They're right there. We could just grab them and leave her be."

"That wouldn't be very nice," Peter said timidly.

"Shove off, Wormtail," it was definitely James speaking. He always was quite the prat to Peter, I had begun to notice. "It wouldn't be very nice to wake her either, would it?"

"C'mon, Prongs," I heard Sirius say in annoyance. "We can't just grab them and sod off. It was kind of her to help us, after all."

"Fine," a body plunked down next to mine. "Oi. Darlin'."

A shoulder bumped into my side and I let out a large groan at the impact. Coming into full consciousness, I lifted my heavy head. It had been one of those naps where you woke up feeling worse off than if you had just fought the exhaustion and stayed up. My eyes squinted as they reacquainted themselves with the light in the greenhouse.

"What time is it?" I let out after a giant yawn. Trying to wake up, I stretched out my arms a bit.

"Probably near eleven," Remus said from behind me. He sounded exhausted. Because of our increased interactions, I was beginning to realize how perpetually tired he seemed. I was barely hanging on with my course load and I wasn't inflicted with lycanthropy, so I had no idea how he was doing it. "Sorry to wake you."

"Yeah, we'd be here sooner," in my peripheral, James pointed a playful nod in Sirius' direction. "But we were having trouble getting this one away from his snog session with Morgaine Abbot."

"What can I say," the boy in question said smugly from somewhere behind me. "She's not a bad lass to spend a couple hours with."

As I turned to face them all, the air in the room became strangely awkward. Remus was looking at me oddly, darting his eyes from mine to somewhere else every second. The other boys seemed to be acting strangely as well. Peter had found his shoes far more interesting than anything else as he kicked some nearby rocks. James and Sirius were gawking at me, though they had the sense to gather their composure a little. I raised my eyebrows at the latter boy as if to question what was going on but he just shook his head with a small smile.

"Uh, not at all," I smiled as I looked back to Remus. "I need to make sure you lot know what you're doing this time."

With a heave, I stood up. Dodging James' feet, I moved around the table to stand in front of the two bottles. The wax had trickled down beautifully, almost as if on purpose to make it look pretty versus just using it to seal off the opening of the glass containers. I picked them up in turn, giving them a good shake each. Yep, they looked good to go. I wrapped them up in some nearby canvas, tying it off with twine.

"Here you go," I walked over to Remus and handed him the package. "There's two helpings. Like I said, I can only make it two months in advance or else it's useless."

"Thanks," he said as he took it from me. He smiled politely but still looked at me strangely. I tried to ignore it.

"Of course," I smiled back. I gave a pointed look to each of the boys. "Drink it once a night for seven days before the transformation. Not all in one go, okay? Don't botch it this time."

"Cheers," he said with a nod. "Thanks to you, we can avoid a repeat of last month. And we'll make sure to steer clear of the grounds."

"Aw, Moony," James groaned sarcastically. "Where's your sense of adventure? It's going to work this time! We can do whatever we want."

"We don't know that," I chimed in, collapsing back next to him.

"What are you on about?" James asked, seeming slightly agitated and not hiding it well.

"I mean," I shrugged, feeling a little embarrassed under their now continuous stares. "I'm good, but I don't know if I'm that good."

"You don't know?" His agitation rose. "Then what was the point?"

"I think what he means to say," Remus began.

"Is thank you," Sirius finished, sending his friend a glare. James just huffed at his look, mumbling something about ruined plans.

"Well," I said as I fiddled with my fingers. "You can thank me if it works, yeah?"

Remus chuckled nervously but the boys just remained quiet, either looking blankly at me or not at all. The only sound to be had was the chirping of the baby Venomous Tentacula in their patch near the back corner. I had never seen the boys so awkward, even when it was just the five of us. This wasn't the usual rambunctious demeanor that I was accustomed to from them. Maybe they now hated me given what had happened on Friday night? While my mind told me I shouldn't care, something inside me lurched at the thought of that being the case.

"So," I began, holding out the 'o.' "How's the homework about the founders going?"

Silence once more. Peter was completely messing up his white shoes now with how much he was dragging them in the dirt.

"Good," Sirius finally piped up, sending an annoyed glare at his companions. "Right, guys?"

"Yeah, yeah," James said finally. He didn't comment more but continued to side-eye me. "How're you, Ledoux?"

"Me?" I turned to him and swore that I saw him wince a little. "Well yeah, good. Unless you're talking about the homework? Which, of course, I've already done and I'm feeling pretty okay about it… Oh, actually. My mother gave me this from my great aunt. Turns out she was fascinated with their heirlooms before she… Well, just a long time ago. She drew a bunch of diagrams about them and wrote extensively on their histories. I could show you sometime before class if you'd like? Might help with the essay."

I was rambling into the void as I reached for the journal and placed it onto my lap. For some reason, I felt the desperate need to hold onto some sort of interaction with them, pull out some semblance of a conversation from this oddly awkward situation. Back to clinking the key on the lock, the boys remained oddly still. What was going on with them? I couldn't tell which I hated more: Remus and Peter's avoidance or Sirius and James' stares. Breath in, breath out. I counted that about ten times before I decided to just give up.

"Or another time..." I said meekly. "It's late and all."

"Yeah," Remus said and I looked up to him. He shot me a sympathetic smile. "Definitely can catch up on another day. We've got a busy day of classes tomorrow, so we should probably head off."

With a nod and a small smile, I got up to see them out. They meandered to the door, me following slightly behind. I held the journal close to my chest, as if it would protect me from the awkwardness somehow. Being in a situation where they hated me for something 'my side' did really didn't sit well with me, I realized. And I couldn't tell if that was something that was okay to feel, or if I should be angry at myself for caring at all.

"Well, I'll see you all in class," I said as we reached the door and I leaned on the frame. I turned to Remus once more. "Remember. Seven days, not one. Okay?"

"Of course," he smiled. "Thank you so much, Elsbeth. Really."

"Not a problem."

And then he headed out the door, followed closely by Peter and James. The former simply scurried out, with not a look elsewhere besides his shoes. James surprisingly paused momentarily to give me a small smile and a nod. Then finally, there was Sirius. He stopped completely, his friends gaining distance from him as they traveled back up to the castle. Immediately as they traveled out of earshot, they had gotten closer to talk in whispers amongst themselves.

Feeling Sirius' eyes on me, I turned back to his blank stare. As the threat of tears swelled at the corners of my eyes, I stormed away from him. Practically slamming the book down on the workstation, I sat down to blankly stare off into the distance.

I didn't know if I had considered the Marauders as my friends. If I even could consider them friends in the first place. But no matter what, I definitely hadn't considered them as enemies. However, now I felt like that's what we might have become. Maybe I should have done more to prevent this whole mess. I scoured my brain for missteps I took or opportunities I had to just make the entire plan go away. With my stare, I traced the lines of the wooden beams across from me while I searched my thoughts. I felt a body sit down beside me.

"You all hate me, don't you?" I said sadly as I turned to Sirius. "I promise, I didn't want any of this to happen. I tried to stop them, I swear. I asked Byron so many -"

"What are you on about now?" He asked with a comically raised brow.

"Oh, come on. What was that? You guys couldn't be clearer unless you screamed it in my face. I know those boys were your friends and now they're gone. And now there are even kids in St. Mungos… It's my fault. I should have done more to prevent that."

To my surprise, he started to laugh. His shoulders shook up and down as he swayed from side to side to control the outburst. I felt my mouth fall open in shock before I pressed my features into a hard line. Eventually, he began to calm down, combing a hand through the loose strands that fell from his bun.

"That's what you think that was?" He asked as a finger snagged on the tie in his head. It released a few more strands and he pulled the entire thing off, releasing the entirety of his hair. Falling just below his shoulders in semi-curly waves, his dark black locks shimmered in the light of the greenhouse. But I was only able to ogle for a few seconds before he put it back up and I turned away, cheeks pink. Thankfully, it didn't seem like he noticed me looking.

"What else could it be?" I asked with a huff as I trained my eyes to the table. "Honestly, it's okay if you do. You don't have to pretend like you like me just because of the potion. I'm even happier to make it now. After everything that's happened."

"Oh, just get off it," he turned to face me, elbow perched casually on the workstation. "That was us trying to be polite and not get involved in something we so desperately want to know about."

"What?" I turned to face him. "Now what are you on about?"

"This," he reached his free hand up and lightly cupped my face while his thumb grazed over my left cheekbone.

His touch was rough but careful, clearly not wanting to apply too much pressure on the area. He was back to staring at me intently, specifically at the space underneath his thumb. It took me a second to come out of shock and realize what he was analyzing. Shit. All the sweating and eye rubbing must have melted away the makeup that I had packed on over the now ripe-looking bruise. With a flinch away, he quickly removed his hand.

"Oh sorry," he said sadly. "I should have asked or something… We're a touchy friend group so I just wasn't thinking."

"No, it's fine," I cupped the cheek, trying to cover the bruise as I got up. My face flushed once more. "I'm just embarrassed."

I rushed over to my bag and pulled out the powder that Andromeda handed to me this morning after the owls arrived. I had hidden in my dorm until she came back down to give it to me so I could fully cover the nasty looking mark. She was right, it really was the best on the market.

"No wonder you and James were staring," I grumbled as I grabbed it and went to the large mirror that hung on the wall. It was antiqued and in desperate need of some cleaning but it would do the job. "This thing is horrendous… But you really should learn to have a little more tact."

Sirius slowly stepped up beside me, leaning on the beam beside the mirror to stare yet again. I noticed he did that a lot, leaning. It was like he always needed to be propped up by something. As I dabbed, I watched as emotions rapidly crossed his face. He was sad, then neutral, then back to sad, and finally outrageously angry. He really was an open book when he thought no one was watching.

As I clipped the powder shut, I felt two large hands on my shoulders. He pivoted my body so that I was facing him.

"Did that prick Malfoy do this to you?" He asked through gritted teeth. I could feel some slight tension in the hands clasped on my shoulders.

"No," I replied quietly.

"Your brother then?"

"He would never."

With a somewhat relieved sigh, he released me and took a few steps away. Leaning his entire back on the beam now, he observed the floor.

"Who?" He asked, clearly still angry.

I was admittedly smitten by the idea that he cared so much. Butterflies gathered in my stomach as I fought the urge to smile. No, I thought. I couldn't get involved with the likes of Sirius Black, friends or otherwise. It was already dangerous that I was meeting with him as much as I was. Plus, the fact that he was a playboy rang clear in my mind. I would not fall for his charm like so many other girls around here. But still, I did enjoy the attention even as I questioned the motives behind it.

"Would you accept it if I just told you I walked into a tree or something?"

My attempt to lighten the mood fell very flat as he just shot me a quick glare.

"I'm serious," he said sternly. "I'm not afraid to send someone else to the hospital wing, you know."

"Well," I chuckled. "That's going to be hard when the man in question is hiding at the Ministry."

"What?"

"This guy," I pointed to the covered-up bruise. "Is courtesy of one Baptiste Ledoux."

"Your father?" He said incredulously. "When was he even here?"

"Yesterday. In Hogsmeade," I sighed.

"What was he doing there?"

"Just, um, visiting I guess."

"Right," he narrowed his eyes at me. "What was he really doing here? You can tell me. I solemnly swear that I won't tell anyone."

He had straightened, raising one hand up as he placed the other on his heart. That was the second time I had heard that string of words from that group of theirs. It was definitely about something. Probably just some silly inside joke amongst boys. I couldn't think about it too much as his gaze grew increasingly intense.

"Really," I avoided it, turning away to look at anything else. My eyes landed on the journal. "He was just here to give me that."

He followed my extended index finger and then turned back to me with raised eyebrows.

"He came all the way from the Ministry just to give you that book?"

"It's not just any book," I scoffed as I walked away. Sirius was quick to follow me as I sat down in front of it, the emeralds in the key twinkling at certain angles. "Like I said, it's my mother's aunt's journal."

He scooted closer to the point where we were actually touching elbows as I placed the key in the lock. Each time I opened it, it felt almost heavy, like I was pushing past something. I knew it was just the enchantment my great aunt had placed on it but it felt so special. It was kind of comforting to know that I had something that was all mine.

"What are you smiling for?" Sirius asked softly.

"What?" I asked, noticing that I was indeed smiling. My face flushed in embarrassment as I wiped it off my face.

"I've never seen you smile like that… what for?"

"My great aunt enchanted the journal," smiling slightly again as I decided to tell the truth. "Only I can open it."

"Yeah right," he rolled. "You probably just don't want people snooping."

"Oh really?" I locked the journal with another satisfying turn of the key and pushed it towards him. "You try it then."

With a smug smirk, he grabbed the key. Placing it in the lock, he gave a turn. It didn't budge. Greta trying to open it last night had been fun, but that had nothing on this. Watching Sirius try to open the journal was like watching someone gain their balance on a broom for the first time. He positioned his body every which way, even practically standing at one point, to try to open the lock at different angles.

"Alright, don't break the key," I giggled as he tried from a particularly daring approach.

I pulled the journal from his grasp, our hands noticeably brushing one another as I took the key from him. Placing it in front of me, I once again simply turned the key in the lock and it opened. He stared at me in annoyance.

"Fine, fine," he said gruffly, moving closer once more so he was now leaning over my shoulder. "So what's in it then?"

"That's the odd part," I started, a little distracted by the smell of his cologne, given our proximity. I tried to focus as I continued, flipping through pages while I talked. "Everything at the beginning is normal. Plant diagrams and potion recipes. Some scattered entries about working here…"

"She worked here?" He held out a hand to stop me from turning the page so he could look at a recipe of basic principles for Felix Felicis. I proceeded to the next page so he wouldn't get any ideas.

"Yeah, just for a year," I said as casually as I could. "Looks like she did a lot of Herbology research while she was here and then… this."

I landed on the first page of the founders' research. The first four entries were laid out with beautiful drawings of each of them, all based on portraits that were stationed around the castle. Each was accompanied by detailed descriptions of their lives. Even after analyzing it earlier, I was finding so many new things on the pages. It was like it revealed more information to me the more I looked at it.

"And what is 'this'?" He asked as he leaned over me to read about Godric Gryffindor. Typical.

"She became obsessed with the founders, particularly about their heirlooms. I mean the rest of the journal is just pages and pages of diagrams and information about them."

"Why would she care?" He finally leaned back and I released a breath I didn't realize I was holding in. "No one's seen those things in forever."

"Exactly," I said, flipping through the entries once more.

Rereading some of the notes, it was more information about the objects than I had seen anywhere else. The diagrams were abundant and extremely detailed. And she hadn't just gathered intel about the origins of the heirlooms and their time with the founders. She tracked where they landed after they were gone in meticulous detail. All leading up to pages upon pages of possibilities of where they were now.

"I think she was trying to find them," I finally whispered.

"But why would she want to?" I hadn't noticed Sirius had gotten so close until I felt his breath on my neck.

"Haven't the faintest idea," I replied simply as I urged my body not to move.

"Any leads that seem credible?" He was still breathing over me. I knew he was trying to get close to the journal but I couldn't help but blush at the closeness.

"Not sure… But I think whatever her main theory was had something to do with these," I traced a finger over the runes in the margin.

"Hmm," he moved a little closer and I felt like I couldn't breathe. Any closer and he might as well have been on top of me. "You should look into it, you know?"

I couldn't help the small fit of laughter that escaped me at his words. It was shocking how similar they really were and I bet they didn't even know it anymore.

"What's got you going?" He asked playfully.

"Your brother said almost the exact same thing, word for word," I said as I wiped away a happy tear from my eye.

At that, his face dropped and he put a noticeable distance between us. Great. I should have known that his brother was probably a sore spot for him. They weren't really on speaking terms before Sirius left home and that rift had only gotten noticeably worse since. Thankfully, they kept it cordial. They mostly just ignored each other, sending cold glares whenever their paths rarely crossed in the hallways.

"You know," I said, pivoting towards him. "You two really have a lot more in common than you think. In fact, he says 'hello.'"

He scoffed, fists tightening in annoyance for a moment before he relaxed them.

"I have nothing in common with that blood purist," he grumbled. "He's just like them."

"Well," I sighed sadly. "You haven't talked to him in a while, you know? Maybe he's not actually like that… You were both so young and to grow up in a house like that. I mean, it's just awful."

"You don't know anything about how we grew up," he snapped, turning his head so violently towards me that I actually jumped back a little in shock. "You know, in comparison to mine, your life was pretty you spoke out, you might have gotten a 'stern talking to.' Me? Every time I said something that went against their ideals or put one toe out of line, I got a hex to the face. So sorry, but it wasn't exactly comparable."

His words echoed around the room until we landed in silence. This wasn't exactly new information to me. Everyone knew the wrath of Walburga Black if someone crossed her, especially if it concerned the promotion of anything other than pureblood mania. There had been several times she had used her contacts in the Ministry to get assault charges dropped after having 'accidentally' cursing known Muggle-born wizards while out in Diagon Alley.

However, I would have hoped that she would have had at least some compassion towards her own sons. She was known to be strict, sure, based on the way she would chide them in public. But to have insight on what happened behind closed doors was both shocking and heartbreaking at the same time. It painted a completely different picture of why the Black sons came out the way they did. Without realizing it, I gently placed a comforting hand on one of his own.

"Sorry," I said softly. "I didn't realize… I just shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't my place."

"No, I shouldn't have been so prickish," he now spoke much more calmly. "It's just a sensitive subject. Especially these days."

He flipped his hand and squeezed mine. That was usually a sign to end the interaction but we didn't move positions, our hands oddly fitting in one another's perfectly. It felt comfortable, safe even. I was once again conflicted by the emotions I was feeling. But then I remembered who this was and decided to pull back anyhow, occupying my now free hands with flipping the page corners of the journal.

"Want to talk about it?" I asked.

"Not particularly," he said. "But I am curious to know if you're mates. Because, if so, this might not work out."

He indicated between the two of us as he said it, a smirk forming on his features.

"And what is that?" I asked and he chuckled at the incredulous look on my face.

"You know," he bumped my shoulder playfully with his own. "Us. Hanging out and solving your aunt's mystery together."

"Oh, yeah?" I raised my eyebrows at him but there was something serious about his words beneath the fun of it all. "I don't know if that's going to work out. Regulus seems to want in on the action as well."

"Ugh, Reggie always did have a knack for stealing the fun…" It took a moment for his mind to catch up with his words and he turned back to me. "You didn't hear me say that."

"Reggie?" I giggled. "Oh, that's good."

"Don't say a word. Especially to him."

"Eh, we'll see," I gave him a cheeky smile before turning back to the book in front of me.

Did I really want to do this? I mean it seemed to take over my great aunt's life and then she went missing. There had to have been some connection there. It was far too much of a coincidence. My life wasn't great, wasn't even sheltered anymore, but it was for the most part safe. If I dug into this, it would surely change everything and probably for the worst as it concerned me… But it would also be the first time in my life that I would be doing something for myself, completely on my own.

"It's great aunt," I said with finality. "If you're going to help, you have to at least get the basics right."

"Excellent!" His face burst into a wide smile.

"And!" I stopped him with an index finger hovering in front of his face before he could continue. "If Regulus wants to help, he can help."

He groaned. "So you guys are close then?"

"I wouldn't say that," I shrugged. "I don't even think we're friends but… We're both 'victims of circumstance' is I believe how he put it. It's kind of been nice talking to him actually. Knowing we're both on this side of things and mopey about it."

"Just be careful with him, Beth," his serious tone shocked me a little. "He's smart. Deviously so. He looks out for himself and himself only."

"So I've learned," I looked at him carefully. There was a certain pain in his eyes as he looked off into the distance. "Did you two hate each other even when you were growing up?"

"Hate?" He turned sharply back to me. "I don't hate him. Never did. In fact, we were the best of brothers from what I remember… Always there to pick each other up whenever our mum punished us for our nonsense. It wasn't until I was sorted into Gryffindor that things went downhill. My mother turned all her anger on me and he kind of just… Stood by. He became the golden boy of House Black. My mother was always doting on him and taking him to all those pureblood galas. He had her complete attention and he went along with it all."

He paused to let out a long sigh, picking up a leaf nearby that he then began to twiddle between his fingers. They even had the same distraction methods.

"It's odd, though. I always thought we shared the same views. We used to laugh at the maniacs when we were little, thinking the pomp and circumstance was all so silly. But I guess we were just kids who really didn't know what was going on. And then when things got, you know, real, I guess he found out where he truly belonged."

"Or," I offered when he didn't continue after a few moments. "And keep this as the opinion of someone who doesn't want to step on any more toes… But maybe your mother put too much pressure on a young boy who was scared and impressionable. She put all her eggs in one basket and that might have, I don't know, broken him a bit. She's not exactly the most gentle person out there. And your brother's not a Gryffindor. So he doesn't have as thick of a head as you."

Thankfully my joke landed this time and we shared a small chuckle.

"True that. He did always have more sense than me. Knew when to keep his mouth shut," he finally continued, having torn his leaf to shreds. "Which, granted, was usually all the time. But I guess he was better off for it. I knew I didn't have a chance anyway when I 'tarnished the family name' so I lashed out more often as time went on. Which in hindsight probably pushed her more towards him. And then I just left him there. All alone. Merlin, I'm a rotten brother, aren't I?"

"I don't think that's fair. In the end, we're all kids. And we were meant to just be kids. But we happened to be born into the wrong families."

"Cheers," he said dully. Propping an elbow on the table, he leaned his head in his hand at the perfect angle to analyze me. His grey eyes were bright tonight, maybe even illuminated by some tears. Either way, there was some serious suffering behind them. "Do you think he hates me?"

"Not at all," I turned so we were face to face. "He's smart like you said. When he saw what was happening with your family, he knew how to play his cards. Kept to himself and just… Watched. But now that this has turned to war, to actual violence, I think he's beginning to realize he can't do that anymore. Can't let them just keep trying to hurt others. Hurt you."

"You think so?" He asked sincerely. He straightened up, our faces getting dangerously close. But I found I couldn't pull away.

"Yeah," I said just as genuinely. "In fact, I think he really needs someone particularly right now."

"Why?"

"I can't say," I said hesitantly. "Because honestly, I don't know the details. But it might be nice for him to have someone to lean on again. Might be nice for both of you, really. I know you've got the Marauders but I'm not really sure he has anybody. So maybe just talk to him, you know?"

He simply nodded, eyes vacant as he pondered everything. I let him take his time. It was a heavy subject to broach. I'm sure his mind was racing with a million thoughts that he was trying to emotionally file in the appropriate places. I would be doing the same if this conversation had been about Byron and me. But I couldn't even think about my brother right now. I had this odd feeling of needing to be here for Sirius right now. Perhaps even wanting to be.

"You're not wearing it," he said quietly, pulling my consciousness back towards him. "You never do, actually."

"What?" I followed where his eyes had landed. "Oh, my engagement ring? I try not to wear it whenever I'm not around Lucius or our housemates. And I would never tarnish the holiness of the greenhouses with the presence of it."

"He made such a fuss about it…" He leaned back on his hand. "It is quite pretty, I must admit."

"But it represents something really ugly," I sighed, my fingers subconsciously twiddling with the spot where the band usually rested. "It's not really my style anyway. Too extravagant. Belongs on the hand of someone like…"

"Like Narcissa Black?"

I gasped excitedly, happy that the topic had changed to gossip. "Have you noticed too?"

"'Course I have, sweetheart," he smirked at me. "You forget that I run the romance ring around this school. I know who everyone fancies. Even in the snake pit."

"I don't know how much I trust your intel considering how delusional you are to think that every girl around here fancies you."

"Ha," I barely missed the twig he had playfully thrown my way. "I'm right about it ninety-five percent of the time."

"Well hopefully the other five percent gets you a proper slap to the face," I said and he joined me in a hearty laughing session.

"Well," he said with a gleeful sigh. "I guess it's time to call it a night, yeah?"

"You go," I waved him off as an unfortunately timed yawn escaped my lips. "I'm just gonna finish up some -"

"Nope, not a chance."

Before I had time to react, he was standing right over me and closing the journal with a loud click of the lock. Pulling me up by the hand, he grabbed it as he led me to the door and shoved it in my bag. Then in a fluid motion, he snatched my coat off the rack and handed it to me. When I didn't make a move to grab it immediately, he stepped up behind me with a huff and slid it on. His hands rested on my shoulders for what seems like too long before he stepped away.

"What are you doing?" I asked as he went back to pick up my bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he began, pushing some strands of hair that had come loose behind his ear. "But no amount of makeup can hide the fact that you're exhausted these days. I've seen you in class. You can barely stay awake when you used to be adamantly taking notes like the top student you are and all that."

"You're watching me?" I said playfully but was definitely blushing a little.

"Not the point," he smirked. Shit. Maybe he had noticed. "The point is, you can't keep camping out here all night. You have got to get some rest... If I find you sleeping in here one more time, I swear I'm going to talk to Professor Puffywood myself."

"Fine," I gave in to the finality of his tone. "But only because I don't want you to embarrass me in front of River."

"That's my girl," he said with a smile.

He grabbed my hand once more as he led me out of the greenhouse and we began walking up the hill. I didn't realize we hadn't let go until we had almost reached the castle doors.