Disclaimer: See Chapter One, "Broken Wings" lyrics from Alter Bridge album One Day Remains
A/N: I'm trying very hard to keep this from reading like a soap opera, but I don't think I'm succeeding – it's all good though! I promise more A/R but it's going to stay subtle for awhile, after all the man has bigger problems to work through right now!
Spoiler Warning for "33"
Alas Rotas
Chapter Four: Mentiras
Fight the fight alone
When the world is full of victims
Dim is a fading light in our souls
Day One
Colonial One
A new terror had settled over the fleet. It was different from that initial fear that gripped them as their homes and families were wiped from existence. This was terror. Whatever sense of safety they'd taken with them as they fled was violently violated as the Cylons continued to find them. The initial attack had been frightening but they quickly Jumped away to safety and the fear subsided once more. But then, there they were again and again, no rest, just Jumping over and over again. Their first day of exile was coming to a close but they were haggard and weary – how long could they live like this? The doubts easily settled over Laura Roslin as she looked out the small porthole of Colonial One, the once-comforting sight of the massive battlestar Galactica only veiled the darkness that grew in her mind. She tried to think of home – then sun would be setting over Caprica City right now – whatever was left – the darkness returned as she thought of her neighbors and friends laying in heaps where they worked and played. She angrily shook the image out her mind and glanced to the clock that was counting down the thirty-three minute cycles that now ruled their lives. Maybe this time. She thought to herself as the clock began to buzz furiously. She felt the cabin's passengers collectively hold their breath as they waited for the alarms. She felt their hearts sink as the signal that they were still hunted sounded and the kind passenger liner's captain warned of the imminent faster-than-light jump. Maybe next time. She thought, the words seeming false as they formed in her mind. She felt the displacement of the Jump and braced herself against her desk even though it wasn't necessary.
Battlestar Galactica
Cassandra walked quietly through Galactica's corridors. She'd been allowed out at the beginning of the cycle on the promise that she'd be back in Sickbay before the Jump. She missed Laura and Billy. She felt very alone on Galactica despite the fact that there were two thousand people on board. She'd been sedated for nearly two days and almost felt guilty as she pushed past the exhausted crew members in the corridors. The constant attacks had seemed to drain everyone. She easily found her way to CIC and located Commander Adama standing over charts on the Situation Table. "Commander Adama?" She asked, approaching him.
He looked up long enough to identify her and returned his attention to his charts. "Ms. Clark." He responded shortly.
She couldn't help but feel a stab of pain at his almost unfriendly greeting. "I was wondering -"
"I'm sorry, but you can't leave Galactica yet – it's just not safe." He interrupted.
"I know that – I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help."
You can stay out of the way. He thought almost viciously. He didn't mean to be unkind, but the woman had made a bad impression on him the moment she stepped off her transport a year ago. Maybe she was trying to help though - and he couldn't turn that down. He sighed slightly and finally looked at the woman and was surprised when his eyes connected with gray-blue ones. They seemed so familiar the words caught in his throat.
"Are you ok?" She asked.
He didn't answer but glanced over her face. He noticed for the first time that she wasn't a blond, he could see the dark roots in the part of her hair. The funeral. He thought suddenly. She was at the funeral.
"Commander?" She asked , searching his eyes for an explanation of his behavior.
"You were at my son's funeral." He blurted out.
Her heart nearly stopped. "Really?" She choked out.
"I remember seeing you talking to Saul."
Her mind raced, searching for something, anything to throw him off this line of conversation. "I'm sorry Commander, but I think you've mistaken me for someone else." She replied, trying to sound sincere.
"Maybe." He said after a pause, looking back down to his charts. "Do you know anything about Galactica's computers?"
He'd changed the subject but her heart still pounded in her chest. "Yeah – I know the system well." She said softly, the sound of her own voice seeming to roar in her ears.
"Lieutenant Gaeta," He began, pointing to a dark-haired man leaned over a console. "has been having trouble with our Jump computer, I think a fresh perspective on the problem would help."
"Absolutely, I'll see what I can do Commander."
He didn't look up but heard her walk away. I know her – I'm sure of it. He thought. Every detail of Zak's funeral was burned into his mind, as if he wasn't allowed to let it go. She was there; there'd been something about her face that, even from a distance, he'd found strikingly familiar – he'd dismissed the feeling for two years, it was just another painful detail meant to torment him. Now here she was again, close enough for him to touch.
"Commander?" Dee's voice jerked him back to the present.
"Yes?" He responded.
"Major Cottle's on the line – he's looking for one of his patients – a Miss. Clark."
"Tell him she's assisting us in CIC."
"Yes, sir."
Cassandra looked up at the mention of her name and watched the exchange before turning her attention back to Lieutenant Gaeta.
Day Two
Galactica CIC
Cassandra shook her head slightly, trying to clear the fog from the screen before her. She'd been up all night trying to rewrite the Jump computer's subroutines. It hadn't been designed for continuous use and the program was beginning to corrupt, vastly reducing the speed in which it reacted to commands. It was taking her much longer to complete because she only had thirty minutes to complete a few lines of code and restart the system so the ship could Jump. She was almost done. She glanced at the clock – six minutes, plenty of time. She typed quickly, racing against the Cylons and at one minute remaining she entered the final lines of code. She'd have to reboot the entire system for the new program to take effect, something she didn't have time to do, but it could wait until the next cycle.
"Done" She said out loud glancing sideways at Lieutenant Gaeta.
"With the whole rewrite?"
"Yep"
"You rewrote the entire Jump program in one night?"
"Yep." She couldn't help but smile at his surprise.
"How?"
"They tell me that I'm some kind of genius." She winked at the Lieutenant causing him to flush slightly. The moment didn't last long as the timer ran out and alarms began to sound. Cassandra quickly jumped into action – she'd been having to nurse the old program for the last few Jumps. She was horrified to find that the computer hadn't accepted the Jump calculations. "Oh, my Gods." She breathed.
The ship was rocked by a missile hit and she gripped the console to keep from tumbling from her seat.
"All civilian ships away!" She heard Dee call over the alarms. Commander Adama began to call out the system checks.
"FTL!" He called.
She typed faster. Error. Shit.
"FTL!" He called again.
"Negative!" She called back trying desperately to get the program to work.
"What!" He'd crossed the room and was over her shoulder in what felt like a second. "What the hell did you do?" He hissed. The ship was hit by another missile.
"Nothing – the program won't accept the calculations." She felt Lieutenant Gaeta at her other shoulder.
"We'll have to input them manually." Gaeta added.
"And how long will that take?" Adama asked, turning his attention to Gaeta.
"Thirty minutes" Gaeta choked out.
"We don't have thirty minutes Lieutenant."
"I know that, I -"
"It won't take me that long – gimme the numbers." Cassandra interrupted, halting the argument.
"But -" Gaeta began to argue.
"NOW!" Cassandra roared turning heads throughout CIC despite the din of the battle. Gaeta quickly grabbed his calculations and brought them to Cassandra. Her fingers flew over the keyboard as she entered the data.
"What if you – if you're off by just -"
"Shut up Lieutenant!" She snapped. She closed her mind to the noise. There was only the code before her. Jump coordinates accepted. System ready.
"Done!"
"Execute Jump!" Adama ordered, casting a harsh glance at each of them before walking away. Cassandra held her breath as the ship folded into space. The only sounds of battle left were the various alarms.
"Dradis contacts – Colonial signals confirmed." Gaeta reported, the relief obvious in his voice. Cassandra sighed deeply.
"Start the clock."
Cassandra felt a hand heavy on her shoulder. "Take a walk with me Miss. Clark." Adama said sternly. She felt like a child in trouble. "You have the deck Colonel." He said as he exited CIC with Cassandra in tow.
"Commander I didn't -"
"Don't talk, just walk." He silenced her quickly and she walked in silence beside him. He seemed diminished to her, more than just age and grief, but then again all fathers seem larger than life to young children and she'd missed a lot. They stopped in front of the hatch to his quarters, she'd guessed that was their destination. During the year she spent aboard she'd never been inside and couldn't help but look around.
"Have a seat." He said. She obeyed it like it was and order and stared at her hands in her lap.
"I want to know exactly what you did just now."
"It might take longer than thirty minutes to explain."
Anger rose in him, this woman had endangered his ship and she was coping an attitude. "I suggest you figure out a way." He snapped.
She sighed, she partially understood his anger, from his point of view in looked like she'd done something that endangered Galactica. "I assume Lieutenant Gaeta told you that we were rewriting the entire Jump program?"
"Yes."
"It wasn't designed for excessive use like this and the program began to degrade with each use."
"He explained that to me."
"I spent most of last night and this morning writing a new program that wouldn't degrade, I finished just before this last attack so I didn't have time to reboot the system and implement the program."
"You still haven't told me what happened."
His impatience got to her and she stood and replied more sharply than she meant. "What happened had nothing to do with my program – it was the old one failing – if you had Jumped you could have re-emerged in pieces, or in the middle of a planet." Her eyes flashed. "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go install the new program before we have company again." She brushed past him and exited the room. What was it about her that got under his skin? Although he'd probably been a little too hostile with her – she was trying to help and, according to Lieutenant Gaeta, she was brilliant.
Day Three
Colonial One
Laura felt her head become heavy in her palm and jerked it up, closing her eyes quickly to slow the room's spinning. Two days with nearly no sleep, it was a limit she'd rather not have tested. She could barely concentrate and jumped when the phone buzzed.
"Madame President?"
"Yes, Billy?"
"It's Commander Adama."
"Ok." She picked up the line "Yes, Commander."
"How are you doing Madame President?"
The question caught her off-guard. "I'm, uh, good considering, how about you Commander?"
"Good considering."
He fell silent and she began to wonder if called for another reason besides to ask her how she was.
"Your aide, Miss. Clark has been a great help."
"I'm glad to hear that."
"She's quite a handful."
Again he caught her off-guard. "Excuse me Commander?"
"Frankly, she's got an attitude."
"Really, I've never noticed that about her." Maybe she just doesn't like you. She heard him exhale. "Commander, she's only twenty years old, she's still a child, but she carries adult burdens."
"Yes, I know that she's very intelligent – ."
"What exactly did she do?"
"It's not about one thing it's about her attitude as a whole – I just wanted to know more about her."
"I can understand that, she's trustworthy, dependable – I've known her for about four years and I consider her a friend."
"Thank you, Madame President, I'm sorry to have bothered you."
"Anytime Commander." She put the phone down with a slight smile. She felt like a parent giving someone permission to discipline her child. I wonder what she did. She thought with another smile.
Day Four
Galactica – Commander Adama's quarters
It had to be the exhaustion that was driving his mind to rehash the past but he couldn't get the funeral out of his head or Miss. Clark's presence there. The image of her talking to Saul became clearer the more he fixated on it. She'd been dressed for a funeral. Her waist-length brown hair blew back away from her face in the breeze. She'd glanced his way before she walked away and there had been something so familiar about her.
"What's on your mind Bill?" Saul's voice brought him back to the presence.
"Does Miss. Clark seem at all familiar to you?"
"What?"
"The woman who designed the museum, she's works for Roslin now."
"To be honest I never really paid that much attention to her. Why?"
"She looks like a woman I saw you talking to a Zak's funeral."
Saul was suddenly paying complete attention to him. He didn't think Bill had seen Cassandra. "That woman was a brunette." He said, recovering quickly.
"Miss. Clark isn't a natural blond."
"Bill, you've barely slept in four days and your eyes are playing tricks on you."
"No – it's the same woman I'm sure of it." Adama got up and stormed out of his quarters leaving Saul behind. He followed after a few minutes resolving to take a good look at this woman that was giving Bill so much grief.
Day Five
Galactica CIC
Cassandra's head dropped onto Lieutenant Gaeta's shoulder. He gently shook her off.
"Wake up." He said softly. It was taking both of them to just make the Jump calculations now.
"Sorry Lieutenant."
"Call me Felix." He blurted out.
"Ok, then call me Cassandra" She gave him a smile that made him blush a little. He liked her and, although he'd never admit it, he was wildly attracted to her.
Colonel Tigh watched Gaeta and Cassandra from across the CIC. It was definitely Cassandra and she was flirting with the young Lieutenant. How did he not notice her? What he did know was that it was time for part of Bill's grief to come to an end – it was the end of everything, he had a right to know his daughter and she had a right to be with her father. He was willing to pay the price for his actions two years ago.
The clocks counted down their final seconds and the fleet prepared for jump 236. It had become so routine that no one really gave instructions anymore, everyone knew what to do. They hadn't had a night's sleep in five days now. The Cylons attacked, as usual, and, as usual, Galactica held them off while the civilians Jumped away before Jumping away herself. Civilian ships were accounted for. The clock was restarted. They were getting slower though. It took them longer to react and many of the civilian ship were experiencing engine trouble. Cassandra had stopped leaving the CIC to rest, she just folded her arms and lay her head down on the panel before her.
Laura sat in the large seat of the passenger liner, her feet tucked beneath her. She looked lost and alone.
"Laura?" Cassandra smiled warmly at her before taking the seat beside her. "I guess it's Madame President from now on." She added, elbowing her playfully. Her face fell when Laura failed to react.
"What am I doing Cass?" Laura asked without looking up.
"Your duty." She replied, hoping Laura could find comfort in a simple answer.
It never ceased to amaze Laura how driven by duty and honor the younger woman was. Cassandra sighed heavily – frustrated by her friend's unwillingness to tell her what was going on. She placed her hand lightly over Laura's causing the older woman to finally show her tear filled eyes.
"You still have a choice Laura, no one would blame you if you decided to step down, but that's not you. You could become emotional and overbearing and loose all objectivity – no one would blame you for that, but that's not you either. If I were you I'd stick with what you know."
Cassandra's head shot up. "I have an idea" She said looking around for Adama. He wasn't in CIC so she got up and practically sprinted out and down the corridor towards his quarters. She knocked on the hatch.
"Come!"
She heard from within. She opened the hatch and found Adama in his rack.
"I'm sorry to disturb you Commander – but I have an idea for the next Jump."
"What's that." He replied, not getting up.
"What if we split up into groups and Jumped to separate coordinates and then met up on the second Jump?"
She had his attention. "That's good – have you talked with Lieutenant Gaeta about this?"
"No I kinda just thought of it, he wasn't in CIC – I was afraid I'd forget – I'm sorry."
"No, it's ok – discuss it with Gaeta – I want a plan when I get back to the CIC."
"Sure."
He listened to her leave and slipped back into shallow sleep.
They hadn't quite re-emerged from Jump 237 before Cassandra's head was against the console. She listened to the activity around her but her brain seemed slow in processing it. She was suddenly wide awake as Dee called out 'negative' when asked if all civilian vessels were accounted for. Her head shot up and she listened intently.
"Who's missing?"
"The, um Geminon Traveler."
Cassandra's hand went to her mouth, she remembered reviewing the passenger manifest for that ship, there were over thirteen hundred people on t. She only grieved briefly before replacing her head on the console, she was too tired to dwell on anything. Adama had been satisfied with her plan and she was waiting for his order to implement it.
Saul was watching Cassandra again, the weight of what he had to do bearing down on him. Not now – I can't break this to him right now. He watched her eyes close and crossed the distance between them to wake her up – she was working.
"Hey, wake up." He said, pushing her arm. She didn't move. He craned to see her face and found her eyes open and blood coming out of both nostrils. "Oh, gods." He gasped, panic rising in his chest. "I need a medic!"
"What's wrong?" Adama asked, quickly crossing the room.
"I don't know – I can't wake her -"
The medic pushed past him. They began to work on her and she still didn't move. Her blood had formed a crimson puddle on her arm that was threatening to spill onto the console.
"I'm going with her to see what's going on – contact the President and tell her what's going on." Adama said as they loaded her onto a gurney. He followed as they rushed her away. He noticed as he walked quickly alongside the gurney that the color had washed out of the woman's face. The blood continued to flow slowly from her nose leaving red trails down her cheeks. Adama was pushed out of the way in Sickbay and watched the techs work on her, trying to stay out of the way. When they were done she was hooked up to tubes and wires of all kinds – she wasn't even breathing on her own anymore. Major Cottle approached him, taking his gloves off.
"Her brain is bleeding."
"Why?"
"I'll need to do a thorough scan to determine that."
"Keep me posted." Adama replied before heading back to CIC, they were still in the middle of a crisis after all.