Chapter 3: My knight in shining…loo water?
"Wow. That was great!" Sirius gasped as he stumbled out the door of the defense against the dark arts classroom. He clutched his side to stop the pain laughing caused and his cheeks began to hurt from the constant laughter. James, Remus, and Peter followed close behind shaking their heads in agreement because they could not break their own laughter to admit another sound. Shouts and screams issued from the room behind them and a loud splash sent the boys off down the hall still laughing but aware that the trouble they caused could still come back to haunt them.
"Who ever knew that pixies were so cool?" James replied as he finally caught enough breathe to answer.
"Pixies are terribly ferocious beings not to be trusted or allowed freedom in any circumstance. Upon encounter flee." Sirius said in a shaky, feeble voice mimicking their rather pathetic teacher.
"I think their fascinating." Remus replied finally calming himself. Within a few seconds he had transformed back into the calm, controlled marauder that everyone thought him to be.
"Moony." Sirius looked over at his friend with a smirk, "You think everything you discover in that learning concept of yours fascinating. I think it's rubbish but whatever floats your boat mate.
As the boys continued their lighthearted conversation Professor Meatles staggered to the door of his classroom, drenched and entirely put out at the trouble pressed upon his otherwise calm day.
"Those boys will be the end of this school," he muttered as he shook his head, "I shudder to think of the havoc they will wreak."
Unfortunately the professor had reason at that moment to shudder at the spectacle in his own classroom. One of his students ran toward Meatles and leaned against the wall for support. As the boy caught his breath the professor observed his torn robes and singed eyebrows. The fact that the boy was also covered in loo water did not escape the professor who wrinkled his nose in revulsion. Then, wondering at the cold dampness he felt all over, the professor realized with horror that he was also covered in loo water. He lifted his arm and took a whiff to realize that he smelled worse and had considerable trouble keeping consciousness.
"Umm. Professor," The boy asked, bringing Meatles back to his senses, "Don't you think you should.." The boy was cut off when a loud crash was heard from within the classroom followed by a few gargled screams.
"Yes. Right." The professor answered as he rushed back into the classroom to defend the poor souls who had not escaped the pixies and were currently huddled in the corner being drowned by a waterfall of loo water from the floor above. The pixies were behind it of course, with the help of peeves. The professor cursed the boys for letting the pixies loose in the first place before diving into action.
"but squirrels have much cuter tails." James was explaining as the boys made their way to the great hall and the luring smell of food. The boys quickly got over the excitement of the previous class though they had left it mere minutes before. These things do not withstand in a young boy's mind for long. Now James and Peter were consumed by talk of fuzzy animals, of which Peter seemed to find bunnies to be the fuzziest creatures on earth. James strongly disagreed.
Sirius walked alongside his quarreling friends failing to figure out why his friends insisted on talking about something so girly. He was personally repulsed and warily watched them from the corner of his eye. A shocked expression appeared on the twelve year olds face as a thought occurred to him. He couldn't help but wonder if his friends were indeed straight as he had so thought. (they are straight by the way) That would explain why James couldn't stand Evans and why he went bonkers at the mere mentioning of his crush on her.
Sirius glanced at James shiftily before moving a few steps away. James appeared to not have notice for his voice had risen considerably, causing Sirius to reluctantly return his attention to the slightly disturbing conversation taking place.
"But have you SEEN their little footsies?" Peter cried in indignation. Remus who appeared to share Sirius's concerns began to smack his forehead with his hand repeatedly.
Sirius was about to laugh when he heard giggling behind him just as Marlene and Lily brushed past whispering behind their hands and giggling as they glanced back at the boys.
"Oh. Er. Hey Marlene!" Sirius called after them, stuttering slightly and grinning. Marlene glared at him over her shoulder before hurrying off. Sirius sighed as he watched her turn the corner. Unfortunately this stole his attention away from more pressing matters which included the obstacles ahead of him, the worst being those vicious suits of armor.
Sirius's head collided with cool metal causing a gong to echo through the halls to be followed by a crash as Sirius tumbled to the floor in a pile of scattered armor. His friends stopped their disturbing conversations and head smackings to watch armor roll down the hall. They gaped at the pile of rust in front of them for several minutes before the helmet popped up through the mound and began looking around frantically. It just happened to be attached to the neck of a first year wearing dusty Gryffindor robes. Loud laughter announced that the others had realized what had happened.
"Merlin! I'm Blind!" Sirius's shout was slightly muffled by the closed helmet. "All I can see is the dark abyss! Put there is no light at the end of the tunnel. That's good news! There's hope for me yet. Remus! Help!" Sirius stood up and began groping through the air for his friend. Unfortunately his foot landed on a round arm brace and he was sent sprawling to the ground once more.
Remus clutching his side from laughter, stumbled over to his friend. He lifted the eye guard of the helmet ad grinned at the rather surprised face that looked up at him.
"Good morning sunshine. Welcome back." Remus Grinned. Sirius jumped up and shouted for joy at his newfound sight. Then without hesitation he began yanking at the cursed helmet. After a few seconds of struggle he looked up horrified and exclaimed that the helmet was indeed stuck.
"I shall come to your rescue valiant knight!" James shouted dramatically. He took hold of the helmet and put his foot on Sirius's shoulder. He gave one mighty tug and was surprised to find that the helmet was stuck fast. He began tugging more violently creating quite a comical scene.
"Ow! Are you bloody insane!" Sirius yelled, yanking his head back.
"Sorry mate." James shrugged, "I guess you're stuck like that. At least you have a helmet for when life gets tough, eh?"
Sirius glared at James through his eye hole. James smiled and declared that it was to early for jokes and set off down the hall.
"If it makes you feel any better I have the perfect prank for our dear mate snape." James said . Sirius perked up at the mention of a good prank and seemed to find his situation more tolerable.
Sorry it took so long! I lost this and just found it and decided to type it up. Rather short I know but I will do my best to get another chapter up soon. Farewell!