Warning! This chapter has not been edited. I'll get around to it eventually haha.
Long time no update! I've missed you all dearly. I've decided that it's time to continue this story, as it really does hold a dear place in my heart. Though, I'm pretty sure it's a mess at this point... Anyway, I still hope you all like this chapter! Please bear with me as I get everything back on track.
I think I was placing too much pressure on myself to release massive chapters for some reason. Moving forward, the goal is to post shorter chapters more regularly. Hopefully weekly!
Please follow, fave, and review if you enjoy! Hopefully, I haven't lost too many of you... Thanks for the patience! 3
- CHAPTER 17: AN EARLY CHRISTMAS PRESENT -
"They've decided they want you in there."
I'd heard the sound of his feet crunching in the snow before Sirius spoke up from just behind me.
Albus Dumbledore had made his grand reappearance at the Potters just after the dessert plates were picked up. Euphemia's roast had been delectable, the truffle that followed swoon-worthy. But the mood quickly soured when the old wizard stepped through the front entrance.
I had immediately felt unwelcome, like everyone around me was in on a secret that I had no right to listen to.
Euphemiaa had prepped some hot chocolate–enchanted as to never cool–before gently nudging me out the back door. A fire was raging in a pit on the far side of the garden, the blaze emitting a billow of thick smoke into the stars. The moon was nearly half full and I spent my time thinking of potential substitutes for ingredients so as to extend the shelf life of wolfsbane potion.
"Who's they?" I asked, rotating the empty mug in between my cold fingers.
"Dumbledore, mainly… The Potters," he continued as he sat next to me on the bench. He took the mug from me, wrapping his free warm hand around my frigid digits. "And me, of course." He leaned over and placed a long kiss on my forehead. I let my eyes slip closed, taking in the moment of calm. "Ready?" his lips whispered against my brow.
"Do we have to?" I asked genuinely, my eyes remaining closed as I leaned into him. "I kind of like the fire."
More than the fire, I knew that this would be it. This would be the last real moment before all of this was painfully real.
The last moment where I picked my side and stuck with it.
And in doing so, I would be picking the side that was against my family, against everything I'd ever known. It made me sick to think that, after I walked through those doors and into the living room, I'd have to consider my own blood my enemy. I'd go on living with them, but I'd no longer be their perfect pureblood princess.
It made me even more sick to admit that it felt right. For once, I felt like I was doing something both for me and for the good of wizardkind.
"How many are there?" I asked, finally pulling back and looking into Sirius's dark eyes.
"Twenty?" He scrunched his brows. "Give or take. And recruiting every day."
I looked at the fire and watched the flames dance around in the dark. That was a lot of wizards who probably hated me and everything my family traditionally stood for. My cheeks felt hot but not from the raging fire in front of me.
Sirius stood, not letting go of my hand as he tugged to get me to stand with him. But I just sat there, not budging as I continued to watch the fire.
He let out a sign. "Don't worry, they'll love you just as much as the rest of us."
My head shot up towards him, his eyes going wide as he realized what he said. It wasn't exactly THE three word sentence, but it had been close enough. Being with Sirius was all I'd ever dreamed it would be and more, but I couldn't say it was love. At least, not yet.
An awkward cough escaped his lips. He tugged on my arm one more.
"Shall we go?" he asked, tilting his head towards the house.
"Fine," I let out a sigh, standing up. "But I'm fully using you as a shield when these guys try to off me for being a part of the enemy team."
"Like I've said," he smirked, "I won't let anything happen to you."
He leaned in for another peck on the forehead. Instead, I tilted my head upwards, meeting his lips with my own. He smiled into it, his stubble tickling my cheeks as his arms wrapped around my waist. The kiss deepened for a few seconds before, painfully, we parted. The cold winter air suddenly nipped at my heated cheeks.
"Doesn't mean nothing won't," I repeated, but there was a smile on my face.
"But as long as we're together, we'll be fine."
"As long as we're together," I repeated in confirmation.
Without another word, Sirius led me back towards the house. We didn't speak, the only sound being the the crunching of our feet as we walked through the snow. In no time at all, we were through the back door and into the kitchen of the Potters. We took off our heavy jackets and I took a deep breath.
Sirius nodded, grabbing my hand before taking us into the large living room at the front of the house. There were no games of CARD GAME going, no raucous laughter and chatter like the night before.
Instead, the room was deadly silent. There wasn't a single lamp lit, the only light coming from the giant fire in the fireplace on the opposite wall. It cast a bleak shadow over everything and everyone, as if the darkness would help hide the secrets being kept within the confines of that room. The air was heavy, thick with anticipation as Sirius and I
Beyond those I'd been staying with the past few days, the only other wizard I recongnized was Kingsley from that horrible day at the Ministry. Merlin, that felt like centuries ago.
The rest of the Marauders stood in the corner, with Frank, Alice, and Lily close by. The last of them sent me a small smile of encouragement. The remaining wizards were an eclectic group. Some were dressed in fancy attire befitting that of the Ministry, while some looked like they'd been traveling for days just to get here. All of them clearly didn't like the looks of me. Their frowns etched deep lines into their brows as they eyed me up and down.
The only wizards that stood out were a redheaded couple dressed in shabby linens and patched jackets. But it was their smiles that stuck out the most, the woman grinning ear to ear as I met her gaze. Her partner mimicked her smile when I moved my sights over to him.
And then of course, there was Dumbledore. He didn't look up as we entered, facing the raging fire as he leant on the mantle. His face gave nothing away, his face pensive as he stared into the flames.
"You didn't tell us it was Ledoux's child!" A man to my right exclaimed. He wore a purple robe, his beard graying at the tip. "Him and his son are some of the worst–"
"Not to mention their proximity to the Dark Lord–"
"How do we know she's not relaying everything we're saying at this very moment–"
It was like once the door was open, everyone came rushing through. My eyes prickled unwillingly, moisture gathering at the edges of them. I didn't let go of his hand as I tucked myself behind Sirius on instinct. All I wanted to do was back out and leave–the frigid air of the garden had to be warmer than this welcome.
I hated how embarrassed I felt at the want to hide away. But as they continued to point out every reason why I shouldn't be here, I began to believe what they were saying. Sirius squeezed my hand hard.
"Now, hush!" The redheaded woman spoke up, her smile fading. "Do you all honestly believe that Albus would bring her here if it wasn't safe."
"Molly is right," rang Kingsley's deep voice.
"She's sent a child to Azkaban for them," a bony wizard dressed in red said. He looked no more than five years older than me. His words brought back painful memories of the look on Mulciber's face as he received his sentence. "We can't trust her."
"You weren't there," Kingsley continued. "So best not to speak on matters you know nothing about, Benjy."
"She sent a child to Azkaban to survive," Dumbledor finally spoke up, the light from the fire illuminating half of his face in a warm light. His eyes scanned the room, landing on every wizard one by one. "We need all the help we can get. The sooner we have information, the sooner we can get this over. Meaning," he set his eyes on Benjy, "the sooner we can free Mr. Mulciber from his imprisonment."
"And what information does she have that we don't?" The question came from an older woman who dressed as if she'd just come back from a long hike in the woods. The boots she wore doubled her feet in size, while her pants had rips from some unknown creature. "She's a child."
"So are we," Sirius's deep voice startled me when he suddenly spoke. "And we've proved well enough that we're capable. Elsbeth's no different." Another squeeze of the hand. "She might even be better."
"Alright, let's settle down," James muttered.
"Miss Ledoux and I took a trip to St. Mungos today," Dumbledore began, turning all the way to face me.
"So that's why those Death Eater twats swarmed the place?" The old woman spoke up again. "I have friend there–a nurse–tell me about it. Said it was a nightmare."
"How'd we fare?" Fleamont asked, his arm around Euphemia's shoulders from where they both sat on the couch.
"Just some minor injuries," Kingsley reported. "Main headache was doing damage control for the Ministry, really… They didn't send too many."
"How did they even know we were there?" The question flew out of my mouth before I realized I even wanted to ask it. The room slammed into silence as if a dementor had entered.
"It would appear Karin's nurse was acting as an undercover agent for the Dark Lord," Dumbledore replied. "Keeping tabs on patients that he considers potentially volatile."
"Aunt Karin would certainly fall under that category, then," I grumbled, stepping out from behind Sirius. In the open, I felt exposed. It was like they could see into my soul, see all my wrongdoings, as I stood before them.
"What did she tell you, Elsbeth?" The headmaster's voice was commanding but soft. The room dipped into quiet, except for the crackling of the logs in the fireplace.
"She, um–" My voice hitched with nerves as I felt all the eyes on me. I looked a Sirus and he gave me a nod, another squeeze of his hand in mine. With a deep breath, I turned back towards all of the wizards. "She said he mustn't get his hands on the founders objects. That he wants to do terrible things to them."
"What things?" Dumbledore prodded. "Any specific details?"
"No, she got…" My face blushed, remembering how my conversation had promptly turned to Sirius before she was able to tell me anymore. "She got distracted and then her nurse came in."
Benjy scoffed. "Not too much more information to go off there, eh?"
Dumbledore didn't respond and a weight of disappointment settled in my gut. I had a feeling that I'd let them all down somehow.
"Well at least we know for certain that's what he's looking for," the redhead said lightly. She sent me another warm smile. "Well done, deary."
I didn't return her happy facade, my mind scouring every word that my aunt said. There had to be something else there… Some of her words floated into my mind, followed immediately by red eyes on a balcony.
"She also said she would kill him…" I began, mentally double checking what I remember both my aunt and Voldemort saying.
"That's what we all are saying," Benjy scoffed.
"No, she said she would kill him for good," I continued. "And a while ago… After Mulciber's trial… He sought me out." Sirius went rigid at my side, his grip tightening until my fingers hurt. It seemed like no one was breathing. "He's trying to cheat death. That's his long game. He wants to become–"
"The master of death," Dumbledore answered for me. As he spoke, his fingers twitched to the breast of his vest where I knew his wand was hidden away.
"Yes," I nodded. "What if he needs the heirlooms to help him do that?"
"How would they help him?" Kingsley asked, not unkindly.
"Perhaps their magic will increase his own?" The wilderness witch mused.
"Perhaps so" Dumbledore said, looking off into the distance and setting his jaw. "But perhaps not… Well, then!" He clapped his hand once, the sound ringing out like a bomb. "I think that's all for tonight. You all have your orders and I have some research to do." An odd smile split his face. "Goodnight and Happy Christmas, all!"
On a breath, Dumbledore pranced out of the room. It took a moment for others to gather themselves before they began filing out. Most walked by with a wary look in my direction before leaving the room. The whoosh of them apparating filled the air. As Molly walked by, she stopped and placed a loving hand on my shoulder.
Absolute cheer filled her voice when she spoke. "Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix, deary."
The next morning came quickly and with it a bright, cloudless sky. My breath came out in visible huffs as I trudged through the fresh layer of snow. It seemed to snow every night around here.
"I don't believe a word of it!" James spat, kicking at the snow as we all made our way towards the shed on the edge of the Potter's property.
James and Lily headed the front, Sirius and me not too far behind, with the rest of the Marauders trailing just behind. Frank and Alice decided to head back last night after the meeting, wanting to spend the last few days before Christmas with their families.
"Mother said it wasn't proper," I shrugged as we reached the door of the shed.
"So you've never flown?" Even Remus spared some surprise for his tone.
"No," I replied. "I took flying lessons in first year just like everyone else."
"Unbelievable…" James seemed more confused than anything else. And I couldn't blame him. As Gryffindor's seeker, he was practically married to his broom.
"It's true," Sirius said, throwing an arm around my shoulder and shooting me a wink. "Flying is a man's activity amongst the purebloods."
"That is so bleak."
"I mean, I got to learn other valuable things," I said, my voice laced with sarcasm. "Crocheting, calligraphy, lots of Cs."
"Catching a husband." James shrugged but the rest of us fell into a deadly quiet.
"James–"
I cut Sirius off with a laugh. Lily sent me a look as if I were crazy, the noise out of place with the sudden shift in atmosphere.
"Merlin, everyone lighten up," I said. "I'm really tired of my blood status killing the mood around here. Did you all act like this when Sirius defected?" I elbowed the scraggly boy for emphasis.
"Trust me, they did not," Sirius smiled. "If anything, it provided more opportunity to pick on my upbringing… Talk about hitting a man while he's down, eh Prongs?"
"What are friends for, Padfoot?" James responded, landing a light punch on his friend's shoulder before turning back to the shed. With a flick of his wand, the heavy padlock opened, the door creaking open with the weight of its old age. Inside was a multitude of things, but we set our eyes on the rack of brooms near the back. "Shall we?"
"Want to ride with me?" Sirius asked, bringing back just one broom. "You know, since you're a novice and all?"
"Oh yes, please teach me your ways," I said with a smile. "Since you're a pro and all."
"Here." He took his Gryffindor scarf from around his neck and wrapped it around, tugging on it to secure it in place. "Wouldn't want you to freeze when we're up there."
Lily slapped James on the arm. "How come you don't wrap me up like that?"
"What do you call what I did last night–ow!" James couldn't finish the question before Lily landed another blow on his arm.
Sirius mounted the broom and hovered in midair, testing it out before landing on the snow once more when he was satisfied. He held out a hand and I took it. I swung my leg over the broom handle and sat down in front of him. His arms looped around my waist before he secured his hands on the handle.
"Ready?" his voice rang in my right ear.
My stomach boiled with anticipation, the sky suddenly too far away for my liking. I gave out a shaky breath before nodding my head. Sirius's chuckle vibrated against my back as he kicked off the land and we rocketed up into the air. The wind pulled strands of my hair from Sirius's scarf, the cold biting at my cheeks like tiny icicles.
But even as I felt my face freeze, a wide smile split my face and I could help but let out a wild laugh. As the ground got further and further away, the more my heart raced with excitement.
"Wahoo!" James screamed as he flew past us, Lily in tow. Remus and Peter followed after, making loops with their brooms as we all bobbed and weaved.
We reached cruising altitude, all of us getting into loose formation to float in the sky. I yanked my hands off of the broom, letting myself balance up in the sky but feeling safe in Sirius's arms.
"Wonderful, isn't it?" Sirius was yelling but it came as a whisper on the wind.
"Fantastic!" I shouted back.
"We're heading towards the village!" James yelled towards us. "Coming with?"
"I want to show Beth something first!" Sirius yelled back.
The bespectacled boy nodded with a knowing smile. They continued on at the same height but Sirius dipped, sending us into a freefall towards the trees. I yelped, the evergreens coming towards us at much too quick a pace. But Sirius was indeed a pro, leveling us out just above the treeline. We moved on for a few more minutes before he began to sink us into the forest. Clear blue skies were replaced with green thimbles. Too soon, our feet met solid ground once more.
I wobbled on unsteady feet, Sirius looping an arm around my waist to steady me. But instead of letting me go, he pulled me closer. His warm breath tickled my cheeks before his lips met mine in an all too quick kiss.
"What are we doing down here?" I asked, my lips just barely an inch from his.
"Wanted to show you something," he said simply. "One of my favorite places around here."
After placing his broom against a tree, he began walking through the forest. I walked behind him, his footsteps paving a clean path for me. We didn't have to travel far before we reached a clearing, a frozen lake spanning about a Quidditch pitch's length in front of us. Just across, I could see a family of deer as they traipsed through the frozen landscape. The sun glinted off of the surface, the ice twinkling like diamonds in the light.
"It's beautiful," I whispered.
"James and I used to come here all the time," he said with a smile, his eyes thinking of something off in the distance. He took a step on to the frozen top and I yanked him on the arm. "Don't worry, it's inches and inches thick. We'll be fine."
With a hesitant step, I placed myself on the ice. It didn't even creak, feeling just as sturdy as the ground of the forest. Still, Sirius held on and we wobbled towards the middle of the lake. The water swirled underneath, schools of fish passing by our shoes. Some of them came up to the ice, nipping at the potential for food.
When we reached nearly the dead center, we stopped. Sirius turning to face me.
"When I was in second year, I ran away from home during Christmas break," he began. As he spoke, he grabbed my hands and we swayed gently on the slippery ice. It was like we were dancing atop the frozen lake. "Don't know how I survived the journey but I came here. To this day, it was the best holiday I've ever had. Because it was the first time I felt like I belonged. Fleamont and Euphemia took me in like they were expecting me. Even had presents ready for me on Christmas day."
I didn't dare interrupt him, the look on his face was so blissfully happy that it nearly brought me to tears. For the first time in a long time, it didn't feel like the world was ending. It just felt like I was enjoying stories with a boy I really, really liked.
It felt normal.
"We came out here, stuffed with Euphemia's cinnamon rolls and hot chocolate, and stepped onto the ice." He smirked, still deep in the thought of the memory. "Except it was a hotter Christmas than normal. The snow fell at night but day after day, the sun beat down on us. So when we stepped on the ice, it buckled. But we thought we were clever, invincible. So we continued to run about atop the ice."
"I thought you said we were safe out here?" I looked down nervously, my mind playing tricks on me to see cracks in the ice.
"We are," he said and continued to sway. "The Potters enchanted the ice for us from that winter on. If the lake is frozen, it's impenetrable."
"Merlin, they're about perfect, aren't they?" I smiled.
"They are," he said, twirling me about with a laugh. "Because, naturally, we fell through. I slipped underneath a sheet of ice, my lungs filling with ice water. I saw my entire miserable life flash before my eyes and I just knew I was about to die."
"So how didn't you?"
"James jumped in right after me," he said, his gaze finally returning to the present to meet mine. "Didn't even think twice about it as he plunged himself into the water to help me."
"He's a good friend," I said sincerely. "But don't let him know I said that."
Sirius let out a hearty chuckle. "He is… And I knew after that, I wanted to escape. Because I knew James would do anything for me, even risk his own life." His smile faltered for the first time. "And that's why I brought you here. Because I want to share important places and important things with people that are important to me."
I stopped our swaying, pulling him close and laying my head on his chest.
"You're important to me, too," I mumbled.
We stood there for a moment, basking in the warmth of each other.
"I also wanted to give you this," his voice rumbled against my ear before he gently pulled away. From his pocket he produced a small box wrapped hastily in craft paper. He'd tied an old shoestring around it like a bow. "Happy Christmas, Beth."
I scoffed in disbelief. "You didn't even know I was going to be here. And it's not even Christmas anyhow."
"I've had it for a while, if I'm being honest," he coughed awkwardly. His cheeks flushed a bright red as he held it out to me. "And it's Christmas Eve's eve, so close enough… Go on."
A giggle escaped my lips but I took the box nonetheless. Carefully untying the shoestring and removing the wrapping, revealing a small black box. I popped off the lid to reveal a necklace–a crystal charm as clear as the pristine ice beneath us. It was in the shape of a tiny wolf. My heart swelled as I sucked in a gasp.
"I know we can't always be together right now," he said and fidgeted, clearly anxious for my response."But I just wanted to give you a reminder that I'm always thinking about you." He smirked, his confidence returning. "Plus it would make me happy to see you wearing it around all those purebloods. Our little secret."
"It's beautiful," I said and meant it, looking into his eyes. "Thank you. For this and for today."
I reached for his scarf, itching to put the necklace on. But as my fingers grazed metal around my neck, I froze. A sad smile formed on my lips as my hands fiddled with the only birthday present I received this year that brought me joy.
"What is it?" he asked, worry lacing his tone.
"You Blacks and your necklaces…" I said somberly. "I've got an idea."
Pulling away Sirius's scarf completely, I unclasped the pearl necklace I always wore. Carefully, I strung the wolf charm onto the silver chain and it met the pearl with a satisfying clink. I held out the necklace to him.
"Can you clip it back on?" I asked. He took it in his hands and I turned. The charms shone in the light of the sun
"What is this?" he asked, grazing the back of my neck as he clipped the necklace back into place. His fingers caressed my neck gently as he prodded the chain.
"It was a birthday present from Reggie–" I began, frowning as I turned back around. The nickname didn't sound right coming out of my mouth, given I didn't know where I stood with the boy in question. "Regulus," I corrected myself.
"How is he?" Sirius asked, fiddling with the pearl on my neck. It clinked against the new charm and my skin prickled at his warm touch.
A deep frown set on my lips. "I don't know actually…"
"What do you mean?" His brow scrunched.
"We're fighting, I think."
"Why? Did he do something?" He stepped closer, caressing my cheek.
"No, no." I looked down, a fish passing by just below our feet. "I actually did something… But I didn't mean to."
He lifted my head to meet his gaze, his brown eyes deep with a sadness I couldn't comprehend.
"No matter what it is, I'm sure it wasn't your fault," he murmured.
"Do you ever think you put entirely too much confidence in me?" I asked sincerely. "And that I might not be worth it?"
"I know what's right and what's true," he said and moved a hand over my heart, "in here."
"That heart of yours is going to get yourself killed." I smiled. "Or at least thrown into Azkaban."
"And it would be worth it."
We spent what felt like a blissful eternity scooting around on the ice, laughing so hard that my sides hurt. Eventually, we laid on the glass-like ice and watched as all sort of woodland creatures visited the lake. We stole kisses as the sun began to creep below the treeline, casting the ice and trees into a dark orange. It was only when I let out a loud yawn and I couldn't feel my fingers that we decided to head back to the Potters.
We landed in the garden behind the Potter's and Sirius propped the broom up on the side of the house. The others must have already arrived, their brooms already lining the wall. We entered into the kitchen, removing our bulky outerwear through fits of giggles.
"You did not!" I exclaimed through a laugh after Sirius finished the story he was telling me about a recent Quidditch match against Hufflepuff in which he did a handstand on his broom. I never watched the house games but I was beginning to see the appeal.
We headed towards the living room, the light from the fire casting a warm glow in the hallway.
"I did! And you should have seen the look on their beater's face. Didn't know what to do–"
Our laughter immediately died when we stepped into the living room, the quiet deadly to any sort of cheer we had. The rest of the Marauders and Lily were sitting on the couch, Fleamont and Euphemia standing behind them. They were opposite a figure standing against the fireplace like he had last night.
What was Dumbledore doing here again?
All of their faces held varying levels of pity, and I frowned. A rock settled in my stomach, churning around and making me feel nauseous. Euphemia looked near to tears while Fleamont wrapped a comforting arm over her shoulder. All the other kids took nervous glances at me and Sirius pulled me in, encasing me with his arm as if to hold me back. The look on his face indicated that he had no idea what was going on either.
What in Merlin's name was going on here?
"Something's happened," I stated, no trace of a question in my tone.
Dumbledore took a breath before turning and stepping forward. His eyes were sad, full of pity. Not saying a word, he held up a piece of parchment.
I grabbed hold of it greedily. My fingers fumbled, the parchment too sleek in my nervous hands. Hastily, I unfolded it.
Immediately, I recognized Byron's handwriting. He didn't waste any time getting to the point.
Aunt Karin's dead. Stay safe until I send word. Love you, Bethie.