Note: Okay, folks, chapter ten. If you have played the game, you have a clue of what's going to happen here. This was an interesting one to write, actually. Enjoy.

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Chapter X

"I always thought that this would be easier somehow. I thought that everyone would help me, with all my new friends together beside me. I've been trying so hard," Yuna said sadly.

We were not on a lake, rather in it, standing in the water and walking even deeper.

"Maybe you're trying too hard," I suggested. "They told me...everything."

"Everything?" Yuna inquired.

I replied with a nod.

"Well, so then...you know."

Yes, I knew she was going to die.

"I'm sorry," I said.
Yuna turned to face me.

"It's just, you know... all those things I said. Like 'Let's go get Sin!' Or about Zanarkand... I didn't know what would happen to you, Yuna. I guess... I hope it didn't make you sad," I said. "Forgive me."

"I wasn't sad," Yuna told me. "I was happy."

I dived, and came up a few meters away from Yuna.

"That's right," I said. "Forget all about Sin, about being a summoner. Forget all that. You know, live a normal life. Come on now, Yuna, what do you say?"

She smiled.

"Maybe I will."

I swam to her.

"Wouldn't everyone be surprised?" she said with a smile.

"Yeah," I said. "Except Rikku. She'd be with you. Lulu and Wakka wouldn't hold out long."

Yuna went on with that thought.

"Kimahri would say yes, too, I know. But Sir Auron..."

"I'll make him understand, Yuna," I offered. "It's the least I can do for you."

"No, I should tell him. He deserves it," Yuna said.

Then she leaned back to float on her back in the water.

"What'll I do if I give up my pilgrimage?" Yuna wondered.

"Hey! Zanarkand! Let's go to Zanarkand!" I suddenly realised. "Not the one in Spira, the one I'm from. Yeah, we can all fly there. Everyone can go! Then we'll have a big party at my place!"

I know I sounded like a kid. I imagined having a big party in my place, with all my favorite drinks and all our bunch – and especially Lulu.

"And then we could see Blitzball!" Yuna got excited.

"Yeah!" I said, as if to support her.

"Your Zanaraknd Abes would play!" Yuna went on. "We could all watch you play, in the stadium all lit up at night! I'd cheer and cheer till I couldn't cheer anymore!"

"Right on!" I commented.

I was getting as excited as she was, thinking about my hometown and my old life. I longed to play blitzball again. It had been a long time since I last had played.

"Well, what about after the game?" Yuna asked.

"We'd go out and have fun!" I replied, thinking about the bars and the neon lights.

"In the middle of the night?" Yuna inquired, sounding confused.

"No problem! Zanarkand never sleeps!" I told her, getting all the more excited about the idea.

I had thought I was no more homesick, since I had realised there was no way back home. That had been when we had found a sphere that my father had left here for me to find.

"Let's go to the sea, before the sunrise," I went on. "The city lights go out one by one. The stars fade... Then the horizon glows, almost like it's on fire. It's kinda rose-colored, right? First in the sea, then it spreads to the sky, then to the whole city. It gets brighter and brighter, till everything glows. It's really...pretty." I paused, thinking about the image that I had just painted by my words. "I know you'd like it," I added, suddenly feeling a little blue.

"I'd like to see it, someday," Yuna said. It sounded more like a compliment than a sincere opinion, but I was too excited to notice.

"Well you can, Yuna. We can both go!" I assured her.

I saw a water drop hit the surface of the calm lake. I looked at Yuna, and realised she was crying. I was a little confused, for I was not used to crying women around me. I had no idea what to do.

"I can't. I just can't! I can' go!" Yuna said through the tears.

There was only one thing I knew I could do. I walked up to her, and took a grip of her shoulders, holding her, trying not to hold her too close. She leaned against my chest, burying her face in my shirt.

"Uh, Yuna..." I said, trying to express she maybe shouldn't be that close to me.

But before I could go on, she reached up to kiss me. I was startled, but somehow, just a little too tired to resist. I know that is a poor excuse, but that's really all I can say; I should have said no. I didn't.

Now, as always, one thing led to another. I'm having mercy on everyone involved in my story and not describe it any further in detail. Making love to Yuna was beautiful, so beautiful I felt it would break my heart to take her virginity. But that is what I did. And, she never discovered I'm not a boy.

Afterwards we got up from the lake and sat down on the shore. Yuna was the first one to speak.

"I'll continue. I must. If I give up now... I could do anything I wanted to, and yet... Even if I was with you, I could never forget."

"I'll go with you," I said. "I'm your guardian. Unless I'm...fired?" I went on playfully.

I had hardly any thoughts for Lulu at the moment. Yuna turned away from me to giggle, and I was glad to hear her do that. I was always happy to hear someone laughing at my jokes.

"Stay with me until the end. Please," Yuna pleaded.

"Not until the end," I said. "Always."

I thought this as my duty for her. She was feeling blue, and she needed me, so I said the best I could think of that would cheer her up. I'm not saying that I didn't mean what I said to her. Just that when thinking of what I'd reply, I didn't react to her words with my emotions, but rather with what I felt I should say.

"Always, then," Yuna said with a nod. "Maybe you should head back to camp first."

I saw her point at once. We should not return there together, looking like we would have been doing what we had just been doing. That was the first time I ever felt ashamed because of what I had done. But instead of showing anything of it for her, I said "Roger!" sounding awfully cheerful.

We stared at each other for a while, but then I got up and started to head back towards the camp. I couldn't go far before I stopped to look up at the sky, and the moving pyreflies that looked like shooting stars. I needed to set my thoughts in order, to consider all that had happened, but I got interrupted by Yuna. She whistled to me the way I had taught her in Luca. I glanced back at her.

"Wait," she said. "I'll go with you."

I was not sure if that was a good idea. But, I neither was I sure if it was my place to question the reasoning of my summoner. So I nodded, fear already gripping my guts.

Just before we got to see the others, Yuna grabbed my hand. I was startled, but before I could pull my hand free, we were already in the campsite among the others. I swallowed nervously.

Rikku got up and seemed to approach us, but when she saw we were holding hands she abruptly stopped. I saw her staring at me, then turning her glance to Yuna, and then back to me. She looked heart-broken. I dared not to even look at Lulu, but from the corner of my eye I saw her lift her hand to her forehead and then bow her head a little with a sigh. I could feel my cheeks turn bright red. I would have wanted to be anywhere else.

Yuna had a speech to give. He looked at each of them when saying their name.

"Sir Auron? Wakka? Kimahri? Rikku? Lulu?"

This sounded serious enough.

"Everyone, we leave at dawn. And...I'm sorry for putting you through all of this. And...um..."

"Enough. You need your rest," Auron interrupted her.

Yuna bowed her head a little.

"Yes," she simply said. "Good night."

We had to sleep on hard ground, except Rikku, who climbed up to a tree. When all the fuss had settled a bit, I glanced at Lulu, inviting her to come after me. She followed me, but looked reluctant. When we were out of earshot, I turned to face her.

"Lulu, look, I...uh. I'm sorry."

That was all I could come up with. Lulu just looked at me, and made me very aware of the fact she was taller than me.

"You're sorry?" she said, sounding like she couldn't believe her ears.

I looked at her, pleading her with my eyes to hear me out, to come down from her freezing cold 'I'm above you' – manner. She ignored that completely.

"Tidus, I can't believe that...after all we've been through...I just, I thought you'd be just a little bit better a person!"

"Lulu, please..." I started, but she interrupted me straight away.

"Are you completely unaware of that which you have done? I trusted you. I trusted you so much that I had sex with you just a few moments ago, and just a few hours before that I got raped."

I was startled to hear her say that aloud.

"And you were...so, so heartbreaking gentle to me...and I...I almost believed that you..."

Her voice died as she turned away from me, trying hard to hide her tears. I closed my eyes and rubbed my face. I was so tired.

"Lulu, I'm..."

She turned fiercely back to me.

"Don't you ever dare to speak to me again!" she hissed. "Get out of my sight! I never want to see you again!"

Then, she turned around and walked away, leaving me to stand there alone in the middle of a forest. I stared at her back, and felt tears running down my cheeks. So much for an everlasting love.