Soooo you'll probably notice a lot of not-canon (but, again, canon-compliant) things in one particular moment of this "chapter". That's basically me giving you a quick summary of the things I've hinted at before, concerning John's past (you know the drill, with John and Finch, don't ever assume anything they said out loud is the truth, not until you've seen proof - let's take John's sessions with Iris: I'm sure there was a great deal of the truth in what he said, but I wouldn't be surprised if he edited some things out, just enough that he could actually talk about it, without endangering anyone, or himself). You can find most of it (haven't finished writing it all yet, obviously) in some of my other works: "Hope lies in a shallow grave" (only the first chapter for now, but hey, that's background if nothing else), "You always leave the villain" (the time of his... failed marriage) and most of my OSs collections "Missing Books".

As you might remember, those things also come from Jim Caviezel's other roles, that I've adapted to fit into PoI (and with one another) so if you recognize anything...

FIREWALL

John Reese: "She's a lot prettier than Fusco."

Not that it's particularly difficult to be a lot prettier than Fusco. Fusco just isn't pretty. This young woman, on the other hand...

(Hans Friedrickson): "I've been open. I laid myself bare to you."

Clingy... and melodramatic. If this turns into a greek tragedy, he wouldn't be surprised – greek tragedy usually entail one – and possibly more – murder, the occasional suicide, and a good deal of barely justified revenges.

Lionel Fusco: "Yeah, I know the target. You do too. It's that lady shrink you asked me to look into. 48 hours and she's dead."

Oh. For a moment John thought Lionel was implying something about him having something to do with it. Like, it's happening because of him, of a possible connection between him and the target, that the detective just found out about – he'd like to say it's impossible, but it's not; at best, it's unlikely. There's a reason he stays clear of the very few people he has left.

John Reese: "Rooney. I'm a – a consultant. It's complicated. Not really important."

Complicated certainly is the word. Not really important, on the other hand... not so much.

(Caroline Turing): "You're highly observant, hypervigilant, aware of your surroundings."

Why, that's exactly what he's been aiming for. Thank you for appreciating the performance – no, but, seriously, it's not exactly easy to let what he always hide back to the surface. He has spent so much time and effort into not looking hypervigilant while still being so, he's just a tiny little bit worried that allowing – forcing – himself to let it show will also result in other things coming through... Things that he'd rather not let anyone see. Especially not a therapist.

Harold Finch: "Tread carefully, Mr. Reese."

Because he totally intended to be open and honest with Caroline Turing, yes. He should probably start with his father's death during that fire, when he was eight. Then go on with his mother's murder, back when he was thirteen. His foster mother's accident and consecutive death four years later. The fact that he went and enlisted under a fake name to get away from it all, and somehow ended up as one of these soldiers suffering from side-effects because of problematic medication, which cost nine civilians lives, and had him ditch said fake identity. How he's not particularly bothered with the act of killing. That he came back to NYC and joined the police, to find his mother's murderer, which ended up with him on the Irish mob's hit list, a slit throat – not his, obviously – and relocation into WITSEC. That "John Rykes" enlisted again, to the Marshals' displeasure, found love and quit just before 2001. That he left her and enlisted, again, because of 9/11. That he somehow and secretly investigated defective bulletproof vests during his time as a Green Beret, under yet another alias, and managed to get married during that time, only to be found out as that-guy-who-murdered-nine-civilians-in-Salvador, for his unborn child to be killed when they went after Claire, for the trial to go south – partially because of his own choices, but not only – and for him to fake his death while pretending to be the villain to his widow – and no, he's not getting his words mixed up here. Then, of course, there is the matter of him becoming a CIA executioner, of the CIA launching a missile at him to silence him. And now he's a vigilante criminal who spends his time saving innocent people – and shooting kneecaps. Ah, maybe he should mention that he hasn't seen his brother in, oh, about twenty years, not since WITSEC, in fact, and there's a high chance Frank believes him dead? Caroline Turing would probably label him as a very problematic pathological liar. Even he can't always believe that's his life, after all.

Zoe Morgan: "Good to hear you're getting some help, but I don't think there's a woman out there alive that could fix you, John."

He's trying not to react to her use of the word "alive". After all, Zoe doesn't – couldn't – know. She's just more perceptive, more in tune with him than most. She guesses... and he's not going to confirm.

(Caroline Turing): "John, I – what are you doing here?"

Probably freaking her out, to begin with.

(Caroline Turing): "Will these help to produce an adrenaline response?"

Why do science people always need to make it all about science? Of course there's a scientific explanation behind everything, but sometimes you just need to go with "it'll make you feel better".

John Reese: "I promise... I will tell you when it's time to panic."

In other words, he won't. Whenever someone panics, things get out of hand. It's never time to panic – though, obviously, you can't always help it.

Harold Finch: "I know you're good at stealing cars. How do you feel about helicopters?"

Well, for some reason, he doesn't have even half as much experience. Probably has something to do with the fact that people don't usually park their helicopter on the street for him to steal.

John Reese: "Who said I had issues?"

Not him, that's for sure. He does think he has issues, but he would never say it out loud. Mostly because he's aware of them, and able to live with them – unwilling to part with them, perhaps, too.

John Reese: "Actually, they're after me."

He hopes that'll make her feel... better. Kind of. Having crooked cops after you is one thing, having the freaking FBI on your ass is another. And, well. Assassination Targets Club.

(Caroline Turing): "The guys who were trying to kill you or the guys who were trying to kill me?"

Well, sorry. Next time he'll wait until there's no one trying to arrest or to off him before coming to the rescue. Obviously that might result in him not being there on time to save the number, but you can't have all the advantages and none of the drawbacks, can you?

(Caroline Turing): "I diagnosed you as paranoid."

She's not exactly wrong about that. Except he does have reasons to be paranoid.

John Reese: "I have to say, Harold, we've been working together for some time now, but you continue to surprise me."

Not only can the man hack, but he can also think on his feet – figure of speech, because Finch's most likely behind a computer's screen right now, but you get it; Harold Finch can have ideas when they need it, that's what he means. John's not complaining, that's for sure.

John Reese: "Trust is complicated, Lionel. For example, I'm sitting in a police car with one cop who tried to murder me and another who spent six months trying to lock me up. So you'll forgive me if I take things one step at a time."

After all, Carter and Fusco didn't trust him right away, just because he told them to – to be fair, he didn't say that to Fusco. They gradually came to appreciate that, maybe, he's doing some good. If they get to take things one step at a time, he gets to do just the same. Especially since being careless in who he trusts could cost him a lot more than it might cost them.

John Reese: "He's in danger now because he was working for you. So you're gonna help me get him back."

It's not that he refuses to continue without Finch, or that he's doing it only because of Finch, far from that. If there was no hope to save Finch, he'd probably go on – not right away, of course, not without some anger, or some grieving time. But that woman barely took Finch, and if she took him, it's not to kill him right away. There is still time for John to act, for him to retrieve his friend. He deserves to be given a chance, if anything. And Finch... Finch is just like another number. Even if his life doesn't matter more than another number's – that's left to discussion, but anyway – it still matters just as much as any other life. He deserves a chance to be saved, just like anyone else.