PRISONER'S DILEMMA

Joss Carter: "So... let's start with your name."

Sounds like a conversation they've had already – Donnelly, and anyone else watching them, doesn't know that, of course. Not really. They may have read the report, but they don't know what any of it implies. John and Carter do. And once again, he'd have to ask – if they could be honest, if they didn't have to lie: which one? Just because a name is his doesn't mean it's the one he was born with – though it would be funny, in a burn-the-world way, if he answered "John Sullivan", right now.

John Reese: "I was meeting clients. I'm an investment banker. When I heard the explosion, I saw smoke coming from a stairwell. I used to be in the military, so I went down to see if I could help. I could hear shots fired, then your SWAT team knocked me to the ground, cuffed me before I could even explain. Basically from that moment on, treated me like I'm some kind of terrorist. Look, I don't know why I'm here, or who you think I am, but I have a life I really need to get back to. And if they won't let me see a lawyer, you're my only hope. Please. I just want to go home."

It's a play, not for Carter – not anymore – but for the ones watching. For Donnelly, who is right but can't know it.

Kara Stanton: "The look on their faces. I should have brought my camera."

That's something about Kara John can't agree with. They've barely started working together, and while he can appreciate her effectiveness, the way she knows how to work... Those little jokes put him on edge. It's obvious that Kara Stanton actually finds it funny, that it's not just a coping mechanism. And while John doesn't feel much guilt – not about that, not about killing people who made the active choice of betrayal while aware of the risks, not about getting rid of a threat – he doesn't find any of it funny. They are dead – whether they deserved it or not – and maybe that's a good thing, but John and her killed them, and they shouldn't laugh about it.

John Reese: "It's my first triple homicide. Didn't know I was supposed to prepare jokes."

Not the first time he killed, of course. But none of the preceding times were quite so clear-cut, premeditated murder with no extenuating circumstances. It is their line of duty, now, he guesses – he took the job, so he can't complain – so it is, perhaps, justified. But it remains an assassination.

John Reese: "Yes. In the army in '95. I was in Bosnia for the IFOR peacekeeping mission."

It's not even a lie. John Rykes was in Bosnia in 1995, and that Serb man is the first person he killed under that name.

Byron: "Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. You know, this is the bastard that stole my dog."

He saw it coming. Had it not been this guy, it could always be another. One he sent here. One who would recognize him – the worse would be, one who knew him before, who'd recognize not the Man in a Suit, but John Sullivan, former NYPD with a problem with the Irish mob. So he needs to be careful, to make it seem like a usual jail altercation. Not to give Donnelly any reason to go and interrogate the Aryan asshole.

Carl Elias: "And lose Harold as a chess partner? I was pissed for a while, but the truth is, John, you'll always be the man who came out of nowhere and saved my life. I want you to think of me as a friend, and when I see my friends in trouble I want to help, so..."

Great, Elias calmed down. He's almost – almost – reasonable, now. Which means he might actually become likable, which is probably not a good thing overall, but John has other priorities right now. One of the few people on Earth for whom vengeance does work, apparently.

Joss Carter: "You moved around a lot."

John almost smiles. His identity, right now, is a world-weary ex-soldier who finally made a life outside of the military. He's not angry – like he suspects the other three to be playing it – both because it aggravates interrogators, and because his character is used to following orders, because he's a bit tired of it all and doesn't want to make it harder. He can't appear to be that adjusted to civilian life, not if he wants to sell it – so yes, saying he finally managed to get out, but it took some time? It's efficient.

Kara Stanton: "Time to decide. Which man do you want to be? The boy scout or the killer? 'Cause I'm sick of working with both. Nobody made you do this. You chose this life, remember? But if this isn't you, if you want to be a nice man with a nice job, all you have to do is ask."

It's not about what he wants, though. John wants a normal life, without guilt or the need to help over anything else, the need to be useful. He wants his brother, his niece, his parents. He wants to be normal – but he isn't, and he never quite managed to pretend he was, not for long. He rarely feels fear, and he doesn't know disgust, he doesn't know horror – but he can do slow anger. He looks at innocent victims, and he's angry at those who did it. He also knows, coloring within the lines doesn't always work – so he will be one of those who don't, those who put an end to what can't be contained within legal means. He'll ruin himself – the small part of him that is normal – if that means others can not. But Kara can't understand that, and he won't try to explain it to her. He'll just lie, then – it's easy, lying. Especially to someone who is both on his side, and one of those who generally get him into a cold rage.

John Reese: "But when I looked at her, I saw this whole other life. A life I knew I'd never have if I went back."

A life he didn't take, in truth.

John Reese: "It's funny how the choices you make change who you become. Pick one path or the other. Hear an explosion at a bank and try to help, and suddenly- all these years later I still wonder... if I had re-upped when the towers came down... Who would I be now?"

The answer is right before their eyes. The one Donnelly is looking for.

Byron: "Are you scared, fish?"

Not really, no. John doesn't really do fear – he's not certain he was ever truly scared. He has a general idea of what it should feel like, but it sounds too vague, even to himself, to be genuine. The worst he's known is probably the crippling feeling of uselessness, the knowledge that what he can do will never be enough. So no, the Aryan asshole might think himself terrifying, but he really isn't. Though, John is going to have to let them beat him up... He never was very good at that. Not for long. But it's to protect Harold and Lionel and Carter, so he will.

Joss Carter: "So was any of it true?"

A lot, yes. Not quite like he told it, not quite with those choices, but...

Nicholas Donnelly: "Oh, I sincerely doubt that."

No. No, no. Tired, barely slept, not an excuse, how did he... Donnelly followed her, he realizes. He saw something, not in him – or he'd have kept him jailed, he'd have found a way – but in her, and he figured it out. John isn't sure how, but somehow... Somehow...

Nicholas Donnelly: "Actually, John, it's not. This little game you two have been playing, you didn't give it away. She did."

It's still his fault. He involved her – more so than she involved herself, in the end – he let her too close, and she will pay for his mistake. And the worst... The worst is that despite everything the FBI agent got wrong, well. He's still right. With what he knows, he is doing the right thing. John isn't angry at Donnelly, or at Carter. They aren't the ones who weren't good enough, who should have known better.

John Reese: "Listen, Kara, there's something you need to-"

He doesn't love her – not quite, no – but she's something akin to a friend, after all those years. There's something wrong with her – but there's also something wrong with him, something else, not the same way, but still wrong, and they found a way to make it work, they found the lines and lies each should not cross to be able to continue, and they've pretended they wouldn't cross those lines after they got to know each other a bit. He doesn't believe she did what they said – Kara is a psychopath, but she also has convictions – and John isn't in this to do the wrong thing on purpose. They can find a solution. They ca...

Nicholas Donnelly: "Wake up, Carter. Your friend is nothing more or less than a highly trained murderer. You don't wind up with that job by accident. He chose that life. He chose to become the monster he is. And now you've made your choice too."

Once again, Donnelly is right. It's all the truth. John made that choice, and then Carter made a choice, too. But it's not the whole truth, because the agent doesn't know everything – and yet, he's almost perfectly pinned John's true self. Almost.

Kara Stanton: "Hey, lover. Miss me?"

Only slightly. Certainly not enough to counterbalance the disadvantages of her presence. Carter bleeding in the seat next to him, and Donnelly dead. The future he can imagine, the reasons she's here now – he won't like any of it. But John is injured, and they've learned, the two of them, not to tell the other the whole truth.