Monica and Phoebe hurried to wrap the guys in blankets and warm them up in front of the makeshift fire. The women were very mothering and murmured that the guys shouldn't have stayed out on the balcony so long.

Even if they had a chance to, neither Joey nor Chandler knew whether they should mention the kisses that occurred on the balcony.

Sitting with Joey's head in her lap, Phoebe shook the snow out of his hair and rubbed his back soothingly. "Forget about Rachel. Soon it'll all be just a distant memory."

"Right," Monica agreed. "This time, next Christmas, we'll all be like one big happy family again. You'll see."

Joey miserably cast a glance at Chandler, and said, "No, we won't. We can't be."

"Why not?" Phoebe asked. "You told me last month that you were over her. This is just a relapse."

Joey shook his head and winced. "It's something else. Chandler--"

Chandler interrupted, having decided that they were better off discussing the kisses in private. "Joey, um, Joey said that we're all coupled off now, and he's the only one left out. We're becoming more and more like separate families, not one. He said he wants to move to L.A. to get away from it all."

"What?"

"Really?" Phoebe and Monica were both surprised.

Joey nodded. "You're all better off without me."

"What? No!" Phoebe couldn't understand where he'd get such an idea.

Monica agreed. "We love you, Joey."

"Yeah, we'd miss you if you left."

"Do you really have to go?"

While Monica and Phoebe tried to talk Joey out of leaving New York, Chandler sat there silently and wished he could discuss this whole "home wrecker" idea in private.

"I have to," Joey insisted. He felt awful, but decided to follow Chandler's lead and keep quiet about the kisses. Since he was leaving anyway, it would be best that Monica not think that Chandler would kiss somebody else like that. They should stay a happy, intact family. "Besides," Joey added with a shrug, "I-I can work on my movie career, and maybe meet somebody too."

Monica sighed and could see the logic in that argument. "But we just always hoped that you'd settle down with somebody around here. We could fix you up with girls."

Phoebe nodded. "Yeah, I know lots more people than just the six of us. And, I can check them out when I massage them."

Joey shook his head. "That's the point. I should know more people too. I should... stop wanting people I can't have. I should get away. Start over."

"But--" Monica shivered and noticed the time on her watch. "It's getting really cold now, and it's late. How about we just sleep on it for tonight?"

"Yeah," Phoebe agreed. "These guys are going to catch pneumonia or something from being outside so long."

Getting up from the floor, Monica put out the fire in the wastebasket and grabbed the few remaining candles in the living room, while Phoebe grabbed all the blankets with Joey's help. Then the women led the men toward the master bedroom, and Chandler asked bewilderedly, "We're all going?"

Monica nodded. "Yeah, while you guys were out there, Phoebe and I decided that all four of us should share our bed, to maximize our body heat."

"Yeah," Phoebe smiled. "It'll be fun, like a sleepover."

Joey frowned, and Chandler protested. "But if we're all together, won't that make you guys sick too?"

Monica shrugged, "Maybe. But Ross and Rachel won't be. If the four of us get really sick, they can have Emma stay with one of her grandparents for a while, then take care of us."

"My boyfriend will take care of me," Phoebe said proudly. "I can't wait to get home tomorrow." It was a novel experience for her to have a steady boyfriend who lived with her so long. She had real hopes of getting engaged soon.

Monica set down the candles and asked Phoebe, "Do you and Joey want to borrow any pajamas, or would you just be more comfortable keeping on all those sweaters we lent you?"

Phoebe shrugged, "I guess I'll keep this stuff on. It'll feel weird, though, because I usually sleep naked."

"Even when it's winter?"

"Yeah, I either have an electric blanket or a boyfriend to keep me warm."

All through this chatting, Monica and Phoebe didn't notice the odd silence of the guys. But then the four of them approached the bed, and Chandler asked apprehensively, "Wait, how are we doing this?"

Monica shrugged, "Well how about you and me on this side of the bed, and Joey and Phoebe on that side?"

Chandler got into bed, closely followed by Monica, only to discover that he'd misunderstood the sleeping arrangements. Phoebe didn't want to lie in the middle next to Chandler, and she told Joey to get in first.

Joey glanced at Chandler and was reluctant to get in beside him.

"Come on, none of that macho crap," Phoebe said. "You guys have shared a sofa-bed before."

Chandler sat up nervously. "Why can't it be boy-girl-boy-girl?"

Monica didn't see what the big deal was. "Actually, it's better that you two guys stay in the middle, since it'll give me and Phoebe a chance not to catch a cold from either of you."

Phoebe backed up Monica's opinion and insisted that Joey get in bed already. "Come on, I'm getting cold out here."

Joey reluctantly crawled into the bed beside Chandler, then Phoebe got in after him and pulled the covers over her with a sigh, "Ah, this is warm and cozy!"

Joey stared at the ceiling and tried not touch Chandler with any part of his body, while Chandler curled up as close to his wife as she would let him.

It wasn't that Chandler feared that Joey would try to kiss him again; it was just that they hadn't had a chance to talk about what had happened, and they didn't know how to be close to each other now.

Monica and Phoebe chatted for a while about Christmas and how they used to be roommates, but the tense silence between Joey and Chandler continued. After a while, everyone fell asleep.

***

Later that night, Joey woke up and realized that he was snuggling up to Chandler. He quickly drew back and felt awful. Joey turned around and tried to crawl around Phoebe, but she woke up and glanced at him questioningly.

Joey lied, "I have to use the bathroom."

"All right." She was a bit irritated at being woken up, but moved out of the way.

Joey got out of the bed and headed toward the door, but Chandler woke up too and turned around. "Joe?"

Phoebe answered sleepily, "He's going to the bathroom."

Chandler started to leave too, but ran into Phoebe trying to get back into bed. "I, uh, I have to go too."

Phoebe moved aside and let him go. Then she returned to bed and commented to herself, "I thought only girls went to the bathroom at the same time." She decided to snuggle up to Monica, to avoid being woken up again when the guys returned.

Out in the living room, Chandler closed the bedroom door and followed after Joey. "Wait! Where are you going?"

Joey whispered back, "I'm--I'm going back to my apartment."

"But it's freezing!"

"I can't stay here, with you."

Chandler caught Joey by the arm before he could leave the apartment. "No, please. We--we at least need to talk about that kiss, don't we?"

Joey shook his head. "Just pretend it never happened."

"No, I can't!" Chandler clung to him. "If it was just a New Year's kiss, it would be one thing, but--"

Joey pulled away from him. "You're married, Chandler. You belong with her."

"But that kiss! If, if it means I'm gay, then how can I stay with her?"

"You've got to! She's having your baby. And you never even wanted me until I kissed you. It was just... the moment."

"Don't go!" Chandler insisted. "Don't go to L.A. I couldn't tell Monica tonight, on Christmas, but we have tell her tomorrow when the others are gone. We have to talk about this, figure it out."

"There's nothing to talk about. I'm leaving, and you'll be happy without me."

"Joey!" Chandler pulled him close and kissed him again, passionately.

Joey surrendered for a moment, but then firmly ended the kiss. He looked at Chandler sadly. "I wish--I wish we'd done that years ago. Before Monica. Before--" He shook his head and sighed. "It's too late now. I have to go."

Chandler shook his head desperately. "It's not too late. My parents got divorced long after I was born."

"Yeah, and look how that screwed you up!"

"Well, Ben's not screwed up. Carol left Ross before Ben was born, so he never knew the difference. It worked out."

"No, you can't leave her, Chandler! You're just confused now, but you love her. You're meant to be together. I don't belong here."

"Joey, you can't leave now. Not like this." He hugged Joey tightly.

Joey hesitated, then kissed Chandler's cheek very softly. "I have to." He put an arm around Chandler and led him back to the bedroom, for the cold air was really starting to make them shiver.

When they saw that Phoebe was sleeping next to Monica, they didn't snicker like they usually did at lesbian moments, having other things on their minds. Joey tried to tuck Chandler under the covers, then leave, but Chandler refused to let go of him.

Joey gave up, since he didn't really know how he'd keep warm all alone in his apartment, with no heat. So Joey lay down beside Chandler but turned away from him, just staring at the wall.

Chandler wanted to touch him, but realized how inappropriate that would be, with his wife and Phoebe in the same bed. He just lay near Joey and worried about the kisses. How could he ever forget them? How could Joey just up and leave him? All he knew for sure was that he'd always loved Joey as a friend, and maybe now, he was starting to love him as more than a friend.