I still do not own Mortal Kombat.

Syzoth stared at his audience. "Family can be a great thing that you miss when its gone. Just ask me, just ask Hanzo Hasashi. On the other hand, family can suck. Our next guest has a homicidal undead brother and an apprentice who is distant relative with a superiority complex. Give it up for the Grandmaster of the Lin Kuei, Sub-zero himself, Kuai Liang!"

The blue-clad Cryomancer walked onto the set to tremendous applause, freezing the moisture in the air behind him to create the temporary effect of a small icy blizzard that quickly dissipated.

Reptile reluctantly put forward his hand to shake Kuai Liang's. Surprisingly it was the average human body temperature, just slightly warmer than a Zaterran's.

Syzoth motioned to the first guest chair and Kuai Liang took his seat.

"So, Kuai Liang," Reptile began, "How is the Link Kuei these days?"

"A bit of both good and bad," Kuai Liang said, "Our alliance with the Shirai Ryu is holding and we've got Cyrax back, but we've lost Frost and Sektor has started a rival clan called the Tekunin."

"Yes, didn't Ketchup used to be your Grandmaster?"

"The Clan's yes. I was fortunate enough to be a revenant during his time as Grandmaster."

"I've never heard anyone call being a revenant 'fortunate' before."

"Speaking as someone who has been both a cyborg and a revenant, being a cyborg is far worse. As a revenant you are mostly numb. Cyborgs feel all the technology sticking in our bodies, are constantly nauseous from no solid food and go to the bathroom in our armor."

"Gross," Reptile said, "And Sektor actually wants to be one?"

"He's a well-known sadist. I think he's also a closet masochist."

"Speaking of cyborgs, how's Cyrax doing?"

"Well he spends most of his time offline. I made a promise not to wake him up until we find a way to turn him back into a human."

"That's a tall order, considering you had to go through being a revenant before you came back."

"You're talking to the organization that founded the Cyber Initiative. We can afford it—probably."

"Yes, well the timeline's about to be reset, so I guess it doesn't really matter,"

"On the whole, this timeline has not been kind to me. I lost my brother, my best friend, and my apprentice."

"None of them are dead, you know."

"Actually, Bi Han and Smoke are undead."

"Right, sorry."

"And Frost left me to become Sektor's apprentice."

"How's that supposed to work? He's an extreme egotist who can't tolerate what he sees as imperfection and she's an extreme narcissist who believes she has no imperfection."

"It will probably end with her becoming Grandmaster of the Tekunin standing atop Sektor's smoking body."

"You're confident she'll win."

"No, I'm confident he'll have more patience and she will crack first. Rage can impower you to do all kinds of things. Do you know what a persistent enemy Grandmaster Hasashi was over the years?"

"Pity the way things keep working out for him in every timeline. He, your brother, and I were the first stealth assassins to compete in the Tournament so I try to keep up with each of them."

"I've actually forgiven Scorpion for killing my brother. It was Quan Chi that turned him into Noob Saibot."

"Yes, I'll have to interview Quan Chi someday. We keep bringing him up all the time. But more relevant than him, I've got a second guest tonight who actually requested to be booked for the same night as you and for you to go first."

"What? Who?"

Reptile swiveled his chair to face the audience. "Folks, please give a welcome to the original Sub-Zero, Noob Saibot!"

A shadow moved from the wall, came up to Kuai Liang's feet. Sub-Zero then stood, knowing full well what to expect next. First, the shadow solidified into a viscous black fluid before further solidifying into a black garbed stealth assassin.

"Greetings, little brother," a voice seemed to whisper, yet speak loudly enough for everyone in the audience to hear…well, everyone who hadn't gone mad with cheering anyway.

"What are you doing here, Bi Han?" Kuai Liang asked.

"Here to expand my fanbase, brother."

"What use does a dead man have for fans?"

"They are all a dead man has, Kuai Liang," the wraith said, "Plus I get to feed on the darkness within their souls. Do you know how many goths like me? People who just stand around being depressed…delicious," Bi Han licked his lips.

"You've become exactly like Sektor," Sub-Zero said.

"Please don't compare me to that second-tier antagonist,"

"I thought both you and he were third-tier, doing the work for Shinnok and Shao Khan's henchmen."

"Actually, if I can point something out," Reptile said before the Cryomancer brothers looked at him, "Shinnok is actually Quan Chi's henchman rather than the other way around. He just doesn't realize it and it works better for Quan Chi to let the former Elder God think he's the boss."

"Are you insane, Reptile? Shinnok is the ruler of the Netherrealm, with his amulet-"Kuai Liang began.

"—Which is a fake. I stole the real one from a monastery in Nepal for Quan Chi. No one has seen it since," Bi Han interjected.

"But Shinnok's corrupted form—the Jinsei Chamber," Kuai Liang sputtered looking for an explanation.

"Never said it wasn't a powerful fake."

"So, you work for Quan Chi now?"

"Why not? Out of all the faction leaders, he has the best grip on what he's doing."

"I thought you didn't work for anyone."

"That will take care of itself in time,"

"Implying subtle threats against the owner of Shinnok's amulet on interrealm television isn't wise."

"Scorpion got away with worse."

"And why couldn't Quan Chi defend against him, if he had said amulet?"

"Do you really think he'd be stupid enough to keep it on him. I was hoping to find it after his death, but with all of Kronika's craziness, Quan Chi has come back from the grave."

"Didn't he kill the woman you love?"

"Sareena? We broke up. She's with undead Kabal now. Besides, I'm with someone new now."

"Really? Who'd be desperate enough to go out with you?"

"Your ex-apprentice."

Frost threw back the curtain behind Syzoth. He quickly spun his chair to face her and demanded, "How did you get in here? We book appearances on this show!" Then Reptile said more to himself, "Honestly, what do I pay those Tarkatans to just…agh!"He screamed as Frost encased him in a solid block of ice.

"Frost," Kuai Liang, said "So you've left Sektor for Bi han?"

"No, I'm still Sektor's apprentice. Bi Han and I just serve each other's physical needs. The Tekunin have a strict abstinence policy, which I'm abolishing a soon as I kill Sektor."

"You do know that you're going about it all wrong. Sektor loves this shows, so he knows your coming after him now. Your advantage was in surprising him and overwhelming him with your rage—the only constructive thing you could do with it."

"Do you really think Sektor can stand against me and Bi Han?"

"And after we take down Sektor we're going after Shinnok and Quan Chi," Bi Han added.

"I don't believe this!" Kuai Liang said.

"You never believed in my talent! Sektor only saw it as an extension of his own! At least Bi Han sees me as an equal."

"Yes, whatever you say, dear," Bi Han said, trying to dismiss Frost's statement.

"He's just using you to get control of the Tekunin for him, you know?"

"So? His reasons for helping me can remain his. Soon I will be grandmaster of my own clan."

"And what will you do with it? You know he's going to expect you to use it against Quan Chi as soon as you're in command."

"I suppose fair's fair. He did help me get it after all."

"But once he has the amulet, he'll just be another boss over you."

Frost looked back at Noob Saibot.

"Don't listen to him, baby. He's just jealous that we have a plan to rule the timeline that can actually work!"

"But," Frost raised her cybernetic hand and pointed one finger to Bi Han, "Only one of us can wear Shinnok's amulet."

"We can take turns?" Bi Han suggested, before realizing that there was no hope of winning. "Crap, yes I want it for myself. You practically already knew this. Look, we can stick together until we get the amulet then betray each other. We both need help to take down Sektor, and we both need his Tekunin to stand a chance against Quan Chi."

"Really," Frost said growing impatient, "Johnny Cage took Sektor down no problem, and Kuai Liang did too, before the timeline got reset."

"My brother and the actor both have far more experience than you do. I have far more experience than you do. I could easily take Sektor by myself, but I need a cyborg to control the Tekunin."

"How dare you!" Frost said. "No one uses me!"

"Kronika did, so did Sektor. Really the only one who hasn't is my little brother over there," Noob Saibot pointed to Sub-Zero.

"But, he-" Frost kept trying to find words. "He always-"

"Criticized you? That's part of being a sifu."

Kuai Liang stepped forward, "I pushed you hard because I always saw great potential in you, Frost. Really, I still do. Come back to the Lin Kuei"

She seemed desperate for acceptance, but something held her back. "Can I resume my training to become the next grandmaster."

Sub-Zero's words shocked, "Well, I just don't see how it's possible anymore."

"What?" Frost said, not quite believing what she heard though she herself had been expecting it. "Why?"

"Because no one trusts you anymore, and even I don't trust you in a position of leadership."

Frost stared at the floor, eyes smoldering. She formed an ice blade and slowly turned her head to look at it.

"So I'm not good enough for anyone's clan. Fine," She turned her eyes toward Kuai Liang, "I'll become grandmaster by killing you!"

Frost drew her blade back only to fall to the ground listless when a shard of eyes flew in to her skull.

Bi Han and Kuai Liang both turned to see a hyperventilating Syzoth standing amidst broken chunks of ice.

"Never freeze a cold-blooded lifeform! I can't generate my own body heat as it is!"

The angry Zaterran glared at Bi Han. "Why did you bring her with you? You know how unstable she is."

Bi Han shrugged his shoulders as he was about to speak, but Reptile shut him off. "I know you have a score to settle with your brother, but I thought we were square."

"Is this any worse than the time you had two Sindels on?"

"They didn't both plan ahead with me to fight each other. I'd have expected something like this from Shao Khan or Mileena, Noob, but not you."

"Can the Lin Kuei keep Frost?" Kuai Liang asked.

"Sure, just don't let her escape, or I'll kill her."

"Assuming Sektor doesn't first," Bi Han said.

"You actually don't want a go at her?" Sub-Zero asked his brother.

"She never crossed me, just grew disillusioned. I'm really angrier with you for this, little brother."

"I only sped things up. She'd figure out you were just using her eventually."

"But hopefully by then, I would have had Shinnok's real amulet. Now the only one who knows where it is is Quan Chi."

"Are the realms really worse off with the amulet in his hands than yours, big brother?"

"Probably not, but I am. I could have been the boss…"

"Now you sound like Frost," Kuai Liang said.

"Fair point," Noob said, "but I've worked to get where I am today."

"Worked?" Kuai Liang snorted, "Scorpion killed you."

"I killed him first, so technically he and I are even."

"And you are now what he used to be—a revenant working for Quan Chi."

"I'll have the last word on the albino Oni before this is over."
"Unfortunately, this program is over," Syzoth interjected.

"But we've barely said anything!" Kuai Liang said.

"Your brother should have thought before he brought along your apprentice. Our agents can talk if you the two of you want another go at it, but next time no apprentices."