I still do not own Mortal Kombat.
Syzoth knew that he would loath tonight's guest. He hated him almost as much as he hated Raiden for driving the Saurians out of Earthrealm, or Raiden's half-brother Shao Khan for mering Zaterra with Outworld. In fact, he hated him more than he hated Onaga for the instance of soul-rape in the previous timeline. Tonight's guest was his old boss, Shang Tsung. But this was a Shang Tsung from a future timeline where he had taken control of Kronika's hourglass and was the undisputed Emperor of Time.
Reptile hated everything about his old boss—the way he flirted with women that were obviously decades younger than himself. More like millennia, Syzoth thought; the way he thought he had a sophisticated sense of humor that everyone else just found macbre—and of course the way that he had experimented on the last few surviving Zaterrans.
Oh well, Syzoth thought. Milk the hate. The fans love it when you are sassy in your interviews.
Shang Tsung may control time in his own timeline, but on this show, Reptile called the shots. Payback would be sweet.
"Folks, we have a verry special guest tonight—one I have been looking forward to interviewing ever since the show began. Please give huge Kombat Chat for my former boss and personal nemesis, Time Emperor Shang Tsung.
A green aura flashed into existence above the above the audience and solidified into a handsome clean-shaven, long-haired, human male from Earthrealm's East Asia. He wore a black trench coat and Kronika's temporal crown.
After hovering and laughing over the audience for a moment he turned and descended to Reptile's interview chair without any body movement-other than with his jaws which would not stop the megalomaniacal laughter.
"Ah ha ha ha HA! It has begun!" he said as he took his seat.
"And now the rehashed corny one-liners start," Reptile said.
"Come now, Syzoth," the time emperor said, "allow me a bit of fun."
"No, you have had too much already…creating hybrid clones of Kitana, combing every soul you've ever stolen in a warrior with multiple personality issues, your torture sessions, and the systematic destruction of my species…No you are here for my viewers to have fun at your expense."
"All that was work, not pleasure. You should be angry with Shao Khan, not me. And we can't be too angry with him either…after all he was controlled by the disembodied will of his grandfather Norbert, the One Being."
"I thought Norbert was Onaga."
"Oh, please. Norbert wanted to possess the Dragon King, but his will was too strong. That's why he prompted Shao Khan to poison him and become Khanum in the first place. He only got to him eons later, after Onaga was disembodied himself. You should really be blaming Norbert for Onaga possessing you."
"But the Elder Gods were certain that…"
"Onaga was a vessel for the One Being's will. Like I said, the Elder Gods were mistaken. His favorite vessel has been his grandson Shao Khan all along."
"Soul raping your own grandson? Norbert must be worse than Onaga."
"Does any of this surprise you? You should really be thanking me seeing to all of Norbert's potential hosts in my timeline," Shang Tsung said.
"And how do we know Norbert isn't using you?" Reptile asked.
"For one thing, I don't want to merge the realms. I do rule them all, but I keep them separate. There is no chance that Norbert can come back as long as that is the case."
Reptile shook his head, "Okay we can blame a lot on Norbert, but Shao Khan already had to be sick and power hungry for his grandpa to use him like that, and you—"
"—Had to be sick to work for him?" Shang Tsung altered his shape to appear identical to Syzoth. "You too, Reptile. You too." He shifted back to the appearance he started with.
"I worked for him for my people," Syzoth protested, "You did it for power."
"No, I did it for girls!" Shang Tsung insisted, "Sweaty, naked, young girls. Shao Khan promised me my pick of the sexiest girls in all the realms if helped him. Liar. He made Kitana his daughter, so I could never get her, never wanted that slut Mileena—kept his word about Li Mei, and Skarlet, and Nitara, and Jade before she hooked up with Kotal—never would have met Sonya, Jacqui, or Cassie without him. Khameleon was nice." Shang Tsung smiled contentedly.
"Another word, Sorcerer, and you die."
"I was only kidding, Reptile. I've never had a Saurian female before, though I must, she looks enough like a human female, and a pretty one at that, that I am tempted. Just not sure how the different anatomies would work."
"You are a pervet, Sorcerer!" Syzoth hissed.
"Of course I am! And Shao Khan needed a pervert in his service."
"And you made Mileena—this actually explains a lot."
"Are you blaming her insatiable libido on me?" Shang Tsung said in mock hurt.
"That's right. You're both perverts. Sounds like Shao Khan kept his word to you then. Why did you betray him during all the Kronika business?"
"Because he tried to trick me that one time with Rain. Honestly the man is bloody effeminate. That was unforgiveable! So I decided to betray Shao Khan, take power for myself, and have any woman I wanted in all of spacetime! Of course, first I needed to betray his grandmother Kronika by creating her crown and then taking it for myself millennia later."
"That's where the most recent timelines diverged," Reptile said.
"Yes. One where I won, one where Liu Kang won. I have mine and he has his, so he can back off!"
"Are you official renouncing any claim to the Fire God Liu Kang timeline?"
"Why fight for something you can't win. He has his, I have mine—it's that simple."
"You mean you had yours," a voice said from among the audience. Quan Chi arose, wearing his own copy of Kronika's crown.
"Ah, Quan Chi! My sometime coconspirator. What brings you hear?"
"I just wanted to rub it in your past self's face after I stole your throne in the future of the next timeline."
"Impossible!" Shang Tsung said. "I took every precaution!"
"But you had to undermine yourself by bringing me back," Quan Chi responded. "Face it, Tsung," Quan Chi addressed his fellow sorcerer by his given name, "You missed plotting with me too much."
Green vapory energy glowed around Shang Tsung's hand, and he stood. "A mistake I intend to rectify now!"
Quan Chi assumed a fighting stance and Shang Tsung did the same, before blurting out, "Oh crap!"
Quan Chi arched his eyebrows.
"This is the first time two copies of the crown have ever been in the same place. I don't want to risk what could come next, if either or both are destroyed."
Quan Chi, who valued his own existence as much as Shang Tsung did, also relaxed, albeit with a more dejected look on his face.
"How do we proceed?" The sorcerer from the Netherrealm asked.
"It is clearly too dangerous for two copies of the crown to exist in one timeline."
"Why do you need to proceed anyway?" Reptile interjected.
"He has a point," Shang Tsung said.
"Since every possibility spawns a new timeline, there is a reality out there where I take your place as time emperor, and another where you keep your position," Quan Chi realized.
"Finally!" Shang Tsung said, "Each of us has an entire universe to rule without having to worry about the other getting in the way."
"We can still collaborate on evil schemes from time to time though, right?" Quan Chi said. "It gets boring without another diabolical genius to plot with."
"As long as we collaborate by astral projection and never have our crowns physically present in the same timeline, we should be good," Shang Tsung said.
"Why don't we both go back to our own timelines and continue this discussion via astral projection?"
"I concur."
"Wait!" Reptile screamed, throwing out an open palm. "We are still in the middle of an interview!"
"And I'll finish by astral projection. Quan Chi can join too."
"I think I will," the albino Oni sorcerer said.
The two sorcerers blinked out of existence and then reappeared as translucent projections, each seated in one of the interview chairs.
"Great," Reptile said. "We'll we've heard why Shang Tsung betrayed Shao Khan. Now Quan Chi, tell us why you keep betraying Shinnok?"
"Its no mystery really," Quan Chi said. "I want to control and undead army, just like Onaga did. Look at my work so far: Kia, Jataka, Sareena, Noob Saibot, Scorpion, the revenants. Imagine if I had everyone in every realm as an undead minion bound to my service. The Netherrealm could rule all realms without having to merge them."
"So, you're a Netherrealm patriot. That I get. But isn't Shinnok your emperor?"
"I'm going to pretend we are having a serious conversation," Quan Chi said while Shang Tsung snickered.
"Shinnok would ultimately destroy the Netherrealm and all realms in his effort to bring Daddy Norbert back."
"So let me get this straight. Far from being the boss to whom everyone excluding you is loyal, Shinnok is actually the biggest threat to the Netherrrealm."
"I wouldn't say biggest. He's fairly pathetic and incompetent and I'm actually able to turn all of his schemes to the Netherrealm's benefit. Shang Tsung is actually our biggest threat."
"I'm flattered," the human sorcerer said.
"Shang Tsung?" Reptile said, not believing it.
"Why not? He is the only one who can match me when it comes to weaving insidious webs of treachery, and we have already seen his endgame."
"But if Shinnok actually succeeded in bringing Norbert back…" Reptile started.
"My dear Saurian, that has only happened in one timeline, which Mama Kronika immediately rewound."
Reptile nodded, and looked to his other guest, for whom he felt more hatred.
"You know he really has you beat, Shang Tsung. He, never in any timeline, had to kill Shinnok in order to control, but you could never control Shao Khan. You had to kill him before you seized power in every timeline where you won."
"He did have to kill Shinnok once."
"Just once. He annoyed me to the point of blowing my cover that I'm really my own boss."
Reptile nodded. "He has a point, that was just in one timeline."
"Don't vex me, Saurian!" Shang Tsung snapped.
"You vexed me often enough."
"We have already established that I was just following Shao Khan's orders. Really, you should thank me for killing him so often."
"Oh, please. You destroyed most of my species," Reptile said.
"But not all of it," the sorcerer from Earthrealm said. "In fact, I kept certain Saurians alive for future research. Two escaped."
"Yes, I know. Khameleon and Chameleon."
"I located one of them before this show."
"Which one?"
"Khameleon."
"I repeat."
"With a 'k.'"
At that point a translucent grey skinned female Saurian stood in the audience. Feathery white hair, bright white eyes, a green mask over her mouth….she was more beautiful than any female Zaterran Reptile could remember.
"Syzoth," she said.
Reptile stood, walked to the platform's edge, hopped down, and walked into the audience.
"I want to get to know you," he said, slowly, mesmerized by her beauty.
"And I you. I feared I was the last Zaterran."
"We never have to fear that again."
"Ahem," Shang Tsung cleared his throat.
"What now, Sorcerer?" Reptile turned his attention back to the stage.
"Don't I get a 'thank you?'"
"Well, yes, I mean…"Reptile choked on his words. "Thank you for saving my species," he forced the words out quickly.
"And I know a perfect corner of my timeline where the two of you can rebuild the Saurian race."
Shang Tsung was plotting something, but he had made the crucial mistake of leaving the two Saurians behind in their own timeline before he'd returned to his own.
"I think you'll have to take that up with Liu Kang and the Elder Gods of this timeline. After all, we don't want you getting in trouble for breaking any treaties," Syzoth said.
"And as a loyal citizen of this timeline, I wouldn't want to anger its protectors, but thank you for introducing me to Syzoth," Khameleon added. "I'm sure will become very close, in this timeline."
Syzoth and Khameleon left the studio, the cameras still rolling.
"Well, you handled that poorly," Quan Chi said.
"Oh, shut up."
AN: And I feel like anything after this chapter would really be anti-climactic. Hope you enjoyed Kombat Chat.