Biography of the Damned Chapter Eight Idiosyncrasies, a gundam seed fanfic

After I got kicked out of Yzak Joule's office, I decided to go to the park. (He told me to "go check out the reports in the archives" if I "wanted so badly to stick my nose where it doesn't belong.")

I was busy admiring the sakura trees – and cooling my temper in the process – when someone suddenly bumped into me. I felt something cold splash down my shirt and my annoyance returned. "Watch where you're going!" I glared at the orange-haired man, who in turn gave me a curious look.

I expected him to apologize, but instead he gave me a playful punch on my shoulder as if we were long-lost buddies. "Shinn! Good to see you again!"

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"It's Vino – Vino Dupre! You know, the guy who used to suffer a lot because you kept busting the suits?"

I didn't recognize him because of his full-orange hair. Vino had always been known for his obsession with his hair. After he yapped about his girlfriend, his job as a technician at Maius Military Industries, the latest gadget that he was planning to buy, and almost everything about his life; he finally asked me. "So, what about you? What are you up to?"

What -am- I up to?

I'm not chasing after a girl. I'm not working as a top pilot in the military. I'm not even planning to replace Mayu's – no, my battered pink cell phone.

"I'm… writing something."

Vino laughed. "You? A writer? You're really weird, Shinn!"

I stared dryly at his bright orange head. "Says you."

Chapter Eight – Idiosyncrasies

He stared at the figures written in his notebook and a slight frown made its way into his features. Something was wrong with the equation. The result was lower than what he expected, after all. It was easy to tell whether an answer was wrong or not, but to figure out where the equation had gone wrong was where the actual problem lay. For simple equations, it would have been an easy one, but not with complex equations such as the one giving him headaches lately.

"3x7y should be cubed, not squared," a soft voice corrected from behind his desk.

Gilbert smiled as he leaned back on his chair and surveyed the owner of the voice through amused eyes. When Rey first arrived at his house, his blond head barely reached the table. Now, he was at least a good one-and-a-half feet taller.

Rey raised an eyebrow and tapped the aforementioned monomial with a finger. "It should be cubed," he repeated.

With a nod, Gilbert complied and wasn't surprised at the least when he finally ended with the expected result. "I've always known that you were smart."

Rey averted his eyes bashfully and muttered a small "thank you." He tilted his head curiously after taking another look at the complex equations written in the notebook, but otherwise said nothing. Sensing that Gilbert probably needed his privacy back, he went back to browsing through the vast reading selections in the library.

For a moment, Gilbert stared at the teenager pensively. He was growing up… but not in the conventional sense. How many times had parents used that phrase when describing their children? But then again, how many of those parents had children who aged twice as fast as normal?

As expected, Rey was just like -him-.

'And just as intelligent, it seems,' Gilbert thought wryly. He had always wondered whether the mind had aged along with the body – or if it was delayed somehow. But it was obvious that the former was the right answer.

Rey was not a child anymore.

Rau had never liked dark places. They held a kind of gloom in them that even someone like him could feel. He hated that room in Mendel. He hated the PLANT Supreme Council building in Aprillius One. He hated Patrick Zala's office. He hated Gilbert's office.

Gilbert was smiling that annoying know-it-all smile of his. "You could have just visited me at my house."

The irritation and annoyance that Rau felt did not show on his face. After all, how could he be a manipulating villain if he did not know how to control his emotions? "That statement does not warrant a reply," he said dismissively. "How is he, by the way?"

"Rey's doing fine. I think he might have taken a liking to people-watching."

"That shows that he's more sociable than I am," Rau muttered inaudibly.

But Gilbert, ever the observant one, still heard it. "It does?" He shook his head. "He just watches them, he never -joins- them."

Rau shrugged. "It's…different." Gilbert wouldn't understand – or he was choosing not to. Either way, it was a topic that he was in no mood to discuss at the moment. He opted to steer the conversation to safer waters. "I heard that Talia just gave birth."

The smile was still on Gilbert's face but his grip on the pen that he was currently holding tightened considerably. "Oh? So you're keeping track of her life now?"

Rau smirked. 'Now, we're even,' he thought, amused at his friend's predictable reaction. "Her husband's brother-in-law, Frederik Ades, is a colleague of mine. But…" and this was where it was bound to get interesting, "it seems as if the marriage is on the rocks."

If Gilbert was surprised, happy, angry, or excited, he never showed it. The smiling-poker expression was fixed on his face. "And what should I do? Offer my shoulder for her to cry on?" he asked with just the right amount of sarcasm on his tone. The smile was wiped from his face and his gaze became hard. "Act as if nothing happened? Scorn her for choosing the wrong person? I understand that I could've done something to prevent this from happening… But not everything is under my control."

But no matter what Gilbert said, the regret was evident in his voice. Even after all those years, Rau was right into thinking that Gilbert still hasn't forgotten…or moved on.

Rau shook his head. "You'll only lose precious time thinking about it like that. The path you didn't choose is the same as the path that doesn't exist. 'That time, if only I had…' No matter how many times you turn and look back, you can never go back. You can never change anything. You can always only go forward towards a future you can't see. Some day beyond the 'now'… Some place beyond the 'here'… It must be there – something wonderful. And seeking that, you will wander eternally on the path of blood, won't you? All of you." He scoffed arrogantly. "It's tragic."

After a few moments of silence, Gilbert spoke up once more. "You sound awfully detached about this. What makes you so different from us?"

Rau stared impassively at his friend. Then, he sneered. "I am different because I -can- see my future."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And what do you see?"

There was a time when he thought he had a future, but that 'future' disappeared the moment he knew what that 'future' was. Rau smirked. "I see that I have no future."

The park had always been some sort of a place of solace for Rey – even if the sakura petals did sometimes make him sneeze. He went there during the times when Gilbert would be out of the house; working, it seemed.

Rey learned from his mistakes, and after that little 'lost' incident, he never bothered to venture forth into the deeper part of the park. There will always be other people around, no matter what he did. They never bothered him anyway, so what was the point of staying away from them?

It was the sounds that bothered him at first, he had to admit. Every child's laughter, every mother's whisper, sounded unusual to his ears. But the more he was exposed to it, the more he found them to be somewhat musical. The scenes that he observed may have passed as mundane for other people, but for him – someone who was not given a chance at the mundane – it was special.

It was his only chance for a glimpse of what it was like to be normal.

Sometimes, he could see boys and girls his age, walking past and talking about school, what clothes to wear, what games to buy, Lacus' Clyne's latest single, and other nonsensical stuff. None of them talked about telomeres, about seizures, or about blue-and-white pills.

After several more years, they would be discovering scientific breakthroughs, leading political factions or maybe just plain living the simple life.

But Rey… after several more years, would he still be able to go the park and listen to the sounds of life? Or would he waste away in Gilbert's house, reading books, correcting mathematical equations, and playing the piano?

He had so many questions…

…but he was afraid of the answers.

He was old enough to know about life and death. He knew that by the rate that he was going, he would soon die. Would he die without knowing the answers to his questions? Why he didn't have a mother or a father; why he spent the first years of his life in isolation with only scientists keeping him company; why he had the misfortune of having this condition; why Rau left him. He thought about it night and day, but he still didn't have the courage to ask them out loud.

This, it seemed, was what was normal for him.

He looked at the picturesque scene in front of him.

Rey concluded…that he would give anything to be abnormal.

Gilbert stared inconspicuously at the impassive face of Rau Le Creuset as he amused himself with the chess pieces on the coffee table on the other side of the office. His face had the hardness that Rey's face lacked – the face of someone who had seen many things in his life. Whatever his friend was thinking, Gilbert was sure that it had something to do with that plan of his. He knew that Rau was plotting about something, but the details were kept from him. It didn't bother him, of course. Everything had boundaries, as did their unusual friendship.

Nevertheless, it did not keep Rau from telling him things about the military. For example, Rau spoke of his subordinates a lot of times. He had high hopes for the young soldiers – especially for one Athrun Zala. Gilbert knew who Athrun was, of course, as he was the one who had analyzed his genes and partnered the young Coordinator with Lacus Clyne. From what he had heard from Rau, Athrun was quite the perfect little soldier, doing everything that was expected from him.

Rau had disclosed that they would be leaving for a reconnaissance mission in Lagrange point 3 where a new Earth Alliance military satellite was reported to be under construction. It could lead to something big – a skirmish, even – or maybe it would lead to nothing at all. Either way, their departure was in two days.

The current page on the notebook from which Gilbert was writing on fluttered, catching the black-haired man's attention. It held all the research that he had done so far, for the project that he had been working on. It was supposed to be something to while the time away but it had led to something bigger. It had piqued his curiosity – marital arrangement through genetic analysis – and he had wondered, whether other information could be pre-determined from genes.

Rau's voice cut through his line of thought. Gilbert gave the man a curious look – he honestly did not hear what it was that his friend had said. It was a fortunate thing that Rau was naturally perceptive and as such, he repeated his previous statement. "I asked you if you were up to a quick game."

A chuckle escaped from Gilbert's lips. "I am… that is, if you are up to losing."

"Don't be so arrogant." Rau smirked confidently.

Within minutes, they were engaged in a game of chess. Gilbert had captured three pawns, a knight, and a bishop whilst Rau had captured five pawns and a rook. Every piece had a strategic position, every move carefully calculated. It was hard to tell which of them would win. The 'quick' game was hitting the two-hour mark.

"Why the sudden urge to challenge me, anyway?" Gilbert asked after moving his king to avoid being captured by the white bishop.

Rau smiled – a genuine smile, not unlike the ones that Rey showed him on a daily basis years ago. "I just felt like doing something normal today."

"Something normal?" Gilbert echoed thoughtfully. "Or a break -from- the normal?"

"What is normal? Is it having a nine-to-five job? Is it having family and friends? Is it watching football every Saturday?" Rau's breath hitched, his voice became hoarse and his hands trembled as he reached for the prescription drugs on his pocket. He clenched the clear box half-filled with blue-and-white pills so tightly that his knuckles were almost white. "Or is it ageing twice as fast as a normal human? Experiencing seizures? Taking these damned pills? Plotting against everyone? Leading a war? What is normal, anyway?" He popped two pills into his mouth and forcefully swallowed them without water.

Gilbert stared at his friend, speechless. It wasn't often that Rau showed his weakness. Even when he expressed his hopelessness in Rey's condition, he still managed to maintain a somewhat poker façade. He knew how much Rau abhorred human nature, but he could never fathom how deeply it ran. "Is it why you hate the world so much? Because they are normal?" he couldn't help but ask.

Rau glared at the box still clenched tightly by his left hand. "Evil is normal in human nature."

"Oh, so you're the holy savior then that would purge the world from evil?"

After Rau had regained his composure, he laughed mirthlessly – it almost sounded manic. "I am neither holy nor am I a savior… All I am is a failed experiment." His lips curled up in a disdainful smile and pointed at the chessboard. The black king was trapped by the white bishop, queen, and knight. "Checkmate."

Rey's eyes shot open and he was greeted by the harsh fluorescent lighting in his bedroom. He had been having the same dream for days now. Dreams… or maybe nightmares. Someone was laughing… it was familiar and, yet, unfamiliar at the same time. It sounded so hysterical that it was hard to tell whether it was laughing or crying.

He had no idea who it was, of course. And he surmised that maybe it was just a product of his subconscious. But the thing that unnerved him the most, was that it felt like it was resounding inside his head… even after he had woken up, he could somehow hear echoes of it in his head.

Rey glared at the ceiling as if it was the one at fault.

But what else did he expect?

It was, after all, just a normal day in his life.

Author's Notes: First, this chapter was inspired by a chapter in koyuki-san's Minerva Three drabbles (go read it now!) entitled 'Normalcy'. The main idea and plot is very different but it was one of my inspirations for writing this chapter.

You might be wondering about the sudden shift in Rau's attitude. There's a reason why he was the villain in SEED, you know. Yes, I will show his good points, but I won't hesitate to show his flaws as well. Everyone has a breaking point, and he just reached his. We are nearing the start of the series, but I assure you that I won't write about stuff that you've seen already. I won't turn this into the novelization of Gundam SEED or Destiny.

Do you think I should continue inserting a considerable amount of Rau or do you think I should shift the focus -entirely- to Rey?

THANK YOU:

koyuki-san, Jigoku Tsuushin, purple1, WillTheWatcher, MapleRose, elven-girl10 and Clingy. And of course, the best beta-reader around, Lia lostsmile.

For those who did not notice, I edited the first chapters. Why? Because according to an interview, Rey is a decryogenized cloned fetus of Al La Flaga. There are a bunch of them, but Rey was the only one that was 'awoken'. And Gilbert worked for Patrick Zala.