Disclaimer: Not mine and never will be. No making money and never will be… the title I got from a song that can be found from Lord of the Rings – Fellowship of the Ring soundtrack (track 3, if I remember right...) :)

Chapter fifteen – The shadow of the past

He was leafing through the blue-covered diary. The handwriting was slender and easy to read. It was all written on blue or black gel-pen. The bit he was reading now was dated little over four years ago.

"-- He's a selfish, annoying jerk! He only thinks about himself and hunting down Naraku. I should get back home, I have few more tests coming up. Sango-chan and Miroku-sama are tired too of the constant running around after that filthy hanyou Naraku. But he won't listen to our words. I want to get home soon... I feel like it would have been ages since I last was at home. --"

Mostly it was just that, complaining about Inuyasha. It felt like Inuyasha would have been the main theme of the whole diary. He felt a little twinge in his heart.

'You know... You shouldn't be doing this.'

'Oh, it's you again,' Sesshoumaru replied to his inner demon in a bored tone.

'These matters are truly private to her. She would wish to keep them as they are. She wouldn't want you to read this diary.'

'Too bad for her, hence I'm reading it.'

'You're going to use it against her, aren't you?'

'Of course I'm not. I have my honour.'

'Indeed, honour in reading a book that's meant for no one to see.'

'...'

'Why do you read it then, if not using it against her?'

It was a good question. Why was he reading the miko's diary?

Because you're curious, the little honest voice replied.

No. That couldn't be the answer.

With a soft "meow" Sesshoumaru was brought back to Earth. Kirara was sitting in front of him, her head askew.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Meow."

"Come here."

The little demon-cat jumped up and took a comfortable position in his lap. Sesshoumaru smiled quietly to himself and put the diary aside. He would think about it later.

His eyes were on her all the time. It was really freaky. The guy was dressed neatly, he was wearing a black suit and glasses. He had short black hair and very intense gaze. Kagome started to really feel uncomfortable. His brown eyes seemed to register every single move she made. Kagome squeezed the handle of the tea-pot so tightly that her knuckles were all white. She forced a sweet smile on her face.

She reached his table and filled his empty cup with tea.

"There you go sir," she said flashing a smile.

He stared her in the eye as he said his thanks.

When Kagome was turning away, the man suddenly grabbed her wrist.

"What is it, sir?" she asked, puzzled.

"Excuse me. I was just wondering... That if it would be possible.. Maybe..."

"Yes?"

"I... I was just wondering what's your name?"

Sesshoumaru watched the scene standing behind the counter. He knew who that man was. It was the same business partner with whom he had once had lunch in this very restaurant, the same guy who had concentrated on watching the miko rather than listening to his suggestions. Was he trying something? Sesshoumaru didn't like the way that man's eyes were always on the miko. He straightened himself.

"I am –" Kagome's words were cut in a little gasp. An arm had just wrapped itself around her waist.

"Sweetie, I need you for a minute."

"- Higurashi Kagome," the black-haired girl answered.

With an apologetic smile to the persistent customer Kagome allowed Sesshoumaru walk her off. They both disappeared behind the door leading to staff's room.

"Phew," Kagome breathed out the air she didn't even know she had been holding.

She was more relieved than she had thought to be now that she did not have to be under his constant gaze anymore. But no matter how relieved she felt, something still felt wrong... Something...

A blush slowly rose on her cheeks as she realised that Sesshoumaru's arm was still wrapped around her waist.

"Thank you, Hisakata-sama. That guy really gave me creeps."

"Yorukawa Rennosuke."

"Huh? You know that guy?"

"I once lunched with him here, we were supposed to have a lunch where to talk about business matters. But you were the only one getting his attention."

Under the intense gaze of his amber eyes Kagome's blush but deepened.

"Uhh... Could you... Remove your hand please?"

"Does its current location trouble you?" he asked as he raised one silver eyebrow.

"Well, not exactly, but.."

"Then good," he declared, not moving his arm.

Kagome just stared at the ground. Why was he being like this now? He really had seen trouble for saving her, noticing her in an awkward situation...

Or had it bothered even him? Had he felt jealous of the attention she had got from that guy?

Kagome didn't know the true reasons. But the result was here: They were standing in the small dimly lit room just by the two of them, quite close to each other. Sesshoumaru's arm was gently resting on her waist, like it would be the most natural thing in the whole world...

Kagome side-glanced Sesshoumaru only to find that those glowing golden orbs of his were gazing at her. She turned hastily her head aside. She knew he was Takeo-chan for everyone else in the restaurant but she knew the truth. She saw his true self.

"Look at me," he called quietly but firmly.

Kagome complied and turned back to watch him. Gold locked with brown.

"Are you afraid of me?" he asked frowning.

"Maybe... A bit."

"Why?"

"Because I don't understand you. And you're a demon, you're dangerous and you could kill me in a blink of an eye..."

"If I wanted to kill you," he replied slowly, "I would have done so a long, long time ago."

Silence fell upon them as they continued staying close to one another, their gazes locked.

What was it in her that influenced him like this?

Kagome's heart leaped as she noticed his bright eyes starting to turn red. Her heart started to beat faster as she watched him bending his head down, moving closer to her...

When their faces were just mere inches away, Sesshoumaru's eyes flashed. They were again golden. He was once again himself.

Kagome's heart pounded hard against her ribcage. What would he do now? Being himself and finding himself suddenly so close to her... Would he throw her away? Would he just turn around and leave? Would he...

Sesshoumaru leaned in, closing their short distance. His soft lips found hers. The kiss took her by a total surprise. Why was he doing this? He was being himself. Never before had he actually kissed her when not being controlled by his demon self. Kagome's mind was in turmoil.

But then she closed her eyes and was lost in the moment as she felt his tongue sweetly tracing her lower lip. His arms moved to embrace her, pulling her even closer to his body. The kiss deepened, his tongue slipped into her mouth when she automatically responded opening her lips. His tongue wandered in her mouth, playfully nudging her tongue.

The door opened and they both heard a muffled gasp. The kiss was broken as they both hastily turned to look upon their interrupter.

They met bright green widened eyes.

"Oh, sorry!" squealed Kayade and slammed the door shut.

They were once again standing in the dim room just by the two of them. An awkward silence fell upon them.

"Well," Kagome said meekly as she turned away and took some steps towards the now closed door, "I think we should probably already get – "

She fell back against him due the powerful tug on her hand. Sesshoumaru's arms were again wrapping around her, imprisoning her efficiently against his form. And Kagome soon found her mouth being occupied. His tongue slipped into her mouth and challenged hers. Eventually he won their little battle Kagome felt weak on her knees and she would surely have fallen to the ground had not his arms been holding her and keeping her up.

The kiss finally broke and Kagome's head fell to rest against Sesshoumaru's broad shoulder. She breathed heavily, trying to get some air for she had forgotten to breathe during that kiss. Sesshoumaru still held her in his arms.

He spoke nothing to her for the rest of the day and never bothered to explain his sudden gestures – which of course made Kagome even more confused. For the rest of the day he was as ignorant towards her as always. Like they would never had ended up into that room together, like he never had kissed her so fiercely...

"Look, I'm really sorry I walked up on you two... I had no idea that you two could.. That you could.. wow."

"It's all right Kayade-chan," Kagome reassured, blushing furiously at the memory.

"So... When did you change your mind? I think you just said you don't like Takeo-chan that much."

"Well what happened really wasn't planned. It all just sort of.. happened.."

"Ahh.. I see."

For a moment or two Kayade examined Kagome with her gaze.

"What about Hisakata-sama then?"

"Huh?"

"He wouldn't be too happy to hear that you were just making out with your fellow worker."

Kagome bit her lip.

"I don't know what he would think about it..."

A mischievous smile had risen on Kayade's lips.

"So... Did you enjoy it?"

"Umm... Yes, I guess I did," Kagome answered blushing again.

Kayade giggled.

"I'm happy for you two."

'If you only knew...' Kagome muttered in her thoughts.

Had Sesshoumaru not known that he was far above such a petty feeling as fear, he might have said he was a bit afraid of the reaction the miko had caused in him. He had no idea how he had ended up kissing her. Suddenly they had just been so close and... And he hadn't been thinking, he had just went on and kissed her. It was not like him. He always carefully considered every possible aspect before he acted... Then why? Why had he cast off any possible thought and...

There just had to be a valid explanation... Hmm. Probably it all was that Yorukawa-guy's fault. His intense interest in the miko had stirred some ancient feelings inside him that had affected his actions even though his inner demon had been firmly under his control. Some kind of an urge to prove and show this was the woman he was courting. A gesture to make the woman forget all about the other males. Yes. That had to be it. After all it was true; he was courting the miko and would not allow anyone to meddle in his plans.

... That was probably why he yearned to kiss her again.

He sighed to himself. What was the spell the miko had put on him? This wasn't how he usually behaved. There was something about her...

He did not like it. It felt as if he was not in a total control of himself.

'Are you starting to understand my point of view?' the inner demon quietly inquired.

'Hmph. I'm simply wondering why I reacted so strongly.'

'Well, let's face it pal, it has been quite a while since you last time were courting someone. You're lust has been sleeping for a long time... If someone knows that it is I.'

'Nonsense. I do not lust after a petty human bitch.'

'Well of course you do not,' the inner demon complied sarcastically. 'You just crave for her for fun.'

Sesshoumaru shut the annoying voice out of his head and picked up the miko's old diary. He opened the notebook from where he had left.

Kagome didn't feel sick in the mornings anymore. She had gone to see a doctor and had had the typical check-up. Everything seemed to be fine, the embryo was healthy – and luckily it had not been spotted that it wasn't fully a human. Kagome felt finally at peace as she cleaned the empty table after the restaurant had been closed. Yes... Everything was fine, except –

"Ohh how I want some strawberries right now."

"Huh? What was that, Kagome-chan?" Kayde asked turning to look at her friend.

"I want strawberries," Kagome repeated.

Kayade frowned.

"Why?"

"I don't know... Just suddenly it hit me... irresistible crave for strawberries..."

Kayade started to giggle.

"You know, I think I know what it is."

"Ohh?"

"Yeah, after all I have three younger siblings... My mother always wanted peaches when she was pregnant."

Kagome flashed a faint smile.

"Does is scare you?" Kayade asked sharply, reading the feelings written on the miko's face.

"A bit. I mean.. I don't know what kind of a future this child will have.."

Kayade walked over to her and hugged her tight.

"Do not worry, Kagome-chan. I'll be always there for you. And so will be others. You shouldn't be afraid. You're not alone."

Kagome smiled and wiped out one single tear from the corner of her eye. Had it appeared there out of fear, sorrow or gratitude, she couldn't tell.

"Thank you, Kayade-chan."

Kagome was peacefully resting on her sofa, watching TV, when the doorbell rang. She got up and walked over to open the door. She was met by a bouquet of red roses.

"Are you Higurashi Kagome-san?" the delivery guy asked.

"Uhm.. Yes?"

"Good, these are for you then. Sign here please..."

Kagome signed the delivery document and then took the flowers.

"Thank you."

"Good day!"

She closed the door and looked at the flowers in awe. There weren't too many possibilities of who could have been the sender...

She noticed a card among the roses and picked it in her hands and opened it.

"For Higurashi Kagome who caught my eye the moment I saw her,

I want thus to announce that I have grown quite fond of you in case you could not have noticed that already. I know that these flowers are a rather petty way to show you my adoration towards you but I suppose that they're better than nothing – although they look pale against your wondrous beauty.

Yours,

Yorukawa Rennosuke."

Kagome's hands started to shake and the card fell on the floor. She looked back at the roses, her face now pale and eyes wide.

"What is it?" calm, collected and nonchalant voice questioned.

Kagome turned her head and gazed at the demon lord.

"The Yorukawa-guy. He.. He sent me flowers."

Kagome could have sworn she heard him growl.

"And... Here's the card he wrote."

Sesshoumaru looked at the white piece of paper the miko had picked up from the floor and was now offering to him. He took it and read it through.

This time she was sure that had growled. The card fell on the floor again, this time in ripped pieces.

She yelped as she was suddenly pulled into his arms. With his long finger he lifted up her chin and for awhile her confused brown eyes stared into his burning amber ones. And then his lips were once again glued on hers. He scooped her up in his arms not breaking the kiss. She moaned softly into his mouth, waking a response in Sesshoumaru's mind.

Damn that Yorukawa-guy! He would show. He was courting this miko. The woman belonged to him! He would prove it to her..

Inspired by these thoughts his kisses grew fiercer, more passionate..

They were halfway through her bedroom doorway, Kagome still up in his arms enjoying the feel of his tongue in her mouth when Seshoumaru suddenly froze and broke the kiss.

'What am I doing?'

'I'd say you're on your way to claim our mate.'

'Shit! Why would I do that?'

'I don't know, I have nothing to do with this.'

'What is this mysterious force that is controlling my actions?'

'I'd probably call it "lust" or maybe "passion", pal,' the inner demon noted dryly.

'Impossible! She's not even attractive, I mean, why would I –'

'You're still holding her,' his demon self noted.

Sesshoumaru coughed and let Kagome down. She blinked for awhile trying to clear her head and come back down to Earth. When she realized what had just been about to happen she blushed furiously.

'Every time he kisses me like that I lost my mind completely,' she thought. 'Those kisses are like a drug to me... Ohh, I just hope I don't get addicted... He's using some kind of a sly demonic power,' she muttered in her mind, 'I'm sure of it.'

'Damnit,' Sesshoumaru cursed to himself, 'she's using her spells on me again.'

"My apologies", he mumbled, not looking at her, his face once again wearing the emotionless mask.

"Wait... How did you get here?" Kagome asked sharply. Great. How come she had not realised to wonder that earlier? She hadn't questioned his being in her apartment at all. Just what was it about him? Maybe his presence influenced on her. Making her stupid.

"I used the door," Sesshoumaru stated, his appearance totally calm unlike the tumult going on inside him.

"So you didn't even bother to knock, did you?"

"Well the door was open," he shrugged.

"So... Why did you come in here in the first place? Or did you just want to, uhh.." her voice faded away and her gaze flew to stare at the floor. He noticed her cheeks were again reddened.

"I came to get you," he answered as he walked over to the entrance door.

"Oh?"

"Grab your coat, darling, we're leaving."

"But... umm... Where are we going?"

"To my place. Now come."

Kagome frowned but obeyed.

Once they were out on the street Kagome glanced at Sesshoumaru.

"So what now?"

"You speak too much, woman. Now we will walk."

"But why?"

"Because I feel like it. Ask no more questions."

He started to walk. His sharp ears caught her "Hmphm!" which was soon followed by soft footsteps behind him.

And they walked like that, in silence, Sesshoumaru leading the way and Kagome following close by.

"Sit in that chair. Take the book from the table and open it in your lap. Now, look out from the window."

Kagome did as she was told to and settled herself to a cosy position in the corner of the armchair.

Sesshoumaru gave a curt approving nod and then started to sketch her figure.

He had thought that maybe if he painted her down on canvas she would disappear from his thoughts. For he had been thinking about her a lot lately. And he didn't like it. It wasn't appropriate for him, the ruler of the Western Lands to be thinking about a human wench who once had been following his idiot half-brother.

The sketch was now ready and he reached for his acrylics. The pale delicate hand was holding the slender brush that danced on the canvas, bringing the sketch to life.

Kagome sat still, looking out of the window, a small smile grazing her lips. She hadn't been a model for a painting before. Knowing how talented Hisakata-sama was, she felt really honoured to be his model.

"Finished," he said nonchalantly and straightened himself.

Kagome stretched and got up. She walked over to the demon and look at the painting.

She gasped aloud. The girl in the painting was sitting in the chair like she had been sitting, she had an open book in her lap like she had had, she was looking out of the window smiling to herself like she had been doing... But still Kagome didn't recognise herself from the picture.

"Is... Is that really me in that painting?"

Kagome watched the piece of art in awe. The young woman in it was so beautiful, so pure and fragile and at the same time powerful. Although she was clearly a human, she felt as if there would be something more, a mysterious aura circled the woman in the painting.

Sesshoumaru's intense golden gaze fell on her.

"Yes, that is truly you."

Kagome blushed.

"It can't be. She's so beautiful."

Sesshoumaru didn't answer. It was true; the woman in the painting was beautiful. When Kagome had been sitting on that chair, when a small smile had risen on her lips, Sesshoumaru's eyes had widened and for a moment. For a moment he had seen someone else sitting there, someone else who had still been her. He had seen the ghost of the true miko, the one with whom he had encountered several times in the age of Sendoku Jidai. He did not know if the sudden vision had been just hallucination, provoked by the diary of the miko. For he had continued reading the diary, finding himself wanting to know more about the girl and her life, how had it been for her to travel along with his idiot brother, finding the Shikon shards..

And she was the one in the painting. The powerful miko who had not faltered even when facing him, the taiyoukai of the western lands.

Sesshoumaru's thoughts shattered abruptly as a pair of arms shyly snaked around his body, wrapping him in an embrace. Kagome buried her face in his chest and had he not been a demon, he wouldn't have heard the muffled mumbled thanks.

"I've missed you," he said in a raspy voice.

Now puzzled Kagome raised her head and met crimson eyes.

Well now, there he went again.

Sesshoumaru raised his long clawed finger and gently traced the side of Kagome's neck. Her eyes fell shut as a shiver danced along her spine. She felt his hot, wet tongue taste her skin, he licked her only once but it was a long lick, he started from her temple ending up at suckling lightly her collarbone. It sent new shivers down her spine and a moan escaped her mouth. The demon-Sesshoumaru smiled to himself and claimed her lips into ever so soft kiss, totally different from the passion-filled ones the other Sesshoumaru had been giving – but yet as intoxicating a kiss it was, making her yearn for more...

He broke the kiss. Kagome opened her eyes slightly and through half-closed lids she saw the gentle crimson eyes changing into a burning amber gaze. Sesshoumaru stared down on to her flushed face. Her smell wrapped itself all around him, it over poured him.

Taking the woman's face between his hands he latched his lips on hers. His tongue dipped into her mouth, and she moaned in response. His tongue dwelled in the sweet taste of her mouth as if it would want to stay there forever.

Mentally Sesshoumaru shook his head.

'I'm doing it again... I'M DOING IT AGAIN!'

He pulled quickly his head back, breaking the kiss and turned slightly away of the woman, breathing rather shallowly.

It had been happening again. Losing the control over to the strong yearning. Damn the miko! Damn the sweet scent of hers! It was all her fault!

The reddish haze in Kagome's mind started to fade away. Her still closed eyes shot open. She breathed heavily, in order trying to clear her head completely.

'He did it on you again,' she groaned in her mind. 'He once again swept your feet under you. Totally. Really, woman, what's your problem? All he has to touch you in a certain way and you will... And you will...' Kagome blushed at the sudden realisation. 'And you will feel desire for him. A desire for more.. Oh Kami!'

"I guess I should be going," Kagome said as she pulled away from him, her shocked voice squeaking a bit in the end. Her words met no response and Sesshoumaru didn't even turn his head to watch her go.

"Ohh... I'd give my right hand for a good bowl of grapes," Kagome announced to her blonde friend as they were cleaning the tables, only about ten minutes before opening the restaurant.

"Aha, grapes today, aren't it?" Kayade winked.

"I'd give anything for some grapes."

"Anything?"

"Yeah, anything."

Kayade giggled.

"Oh, you poor thing."

Kagome dropped to sit on a chair.

"Grapes..." she mumbled.

Kayade giggled again as she walked over to her and sat down next to her.

For awhile they sat there, in a cosy silence, then, Kayade tilted her head.

She bent down closer to Kagome and inhaled.

"Wha- hey, what are you doing, Kayade-chan?"

"Nothing!" Kayade replied, pulling back hastily.

"Nothing? Ha! You were so sniffing me!"

"I was not! Why would I be sniffing you?"

"Yeah, why would you?"

Kayade "hpmhed" and got up. She turned to look at Kagome and rolled her eyes.

"You're imaging things, grape-craver."

As she was walking towards the kitchen a frown formed on her face. Well, wasn't this just curious. Very, very curious.

Why had Hisakata-sama's scent been all over Kagome-chan?