Chapter nineteen – Be a man
They were still standing in the lobby of the movie theatre. She was trying to get him to talk but didn't quite succeed. All that she got from him was "Hmmmh.". It was then she decided to do it.
When Sesshoumaru felt the female so close to him, he froze. Shizuki didn't seem to notice nor care. The warning growl that was forming deep in his throat never got out for she closed their distance and pressed her lips on his at that moment. They stayed like that for quite a while because Sesshoumaru got the urge to rip off the head of this woman who so outrageously insulted his person. Luckily, before he even raised his claws, he remembered who she was. She was Shizuki, daughter of Shikikaya who had been his father's general and also a very close friend with him. Tearing his daughter's head off wouldn't exactly be the most polite thing to do.
Sesshoumaru took a firm grip of her shoulders and pushed her away from him.
"Tadachi Shizuki. What do you think you are doing?"
"Sesshoumaru. We're supposed to get mated. Why shouldn't I kiss you?"
'Yeah. Why shouldn't she kiss you?' the inner demon inquired.
'This Sesshoumaru does not wish to be kissed so abruptly.'
'I'll say, you even wanted to rip off her head!'
'Well, she did insult this Sesshoumaru's person.'
'Curious indeed,' the inner demon chuckled.
'What is?'
'That when that inu-bitch Shizuki kissed you, you wanted to tear her head off. But...'
'But?'
'But when earlier today the miko kissed you, just as abruptly as Shizuki now, you did not wish to tear off her head but to rip off something completely different of hers...'
'Shut up, nuisance.'
'Like her clothes...'
'Silence!'
The inner demon was now openly laughing at Sesshoumaru.
'You're falling for the miko, pal.'
'Am not! Now, be gone!'
The inner demon obeyed his orders though his laughter lingered hauntingly in Sesshoumaru's mind.
"Because," Sesshoumaru started out loud, finally answering Shizuki's question, "I think you are proceeding too fast."
"Hmmmmh? Tell me, Sesshoumaru, do you have someone you like?"
"This Sesshoumaru likes no one."
"I should have guessed," Shizuki sighed. "You've always been so boring."
The next morning Sesshoumaru went to work, as usual. Though, which was less usual, he was greeted by an oppressive, cold silence instead of a cheery: "Good morning, Takeo-chan!"
Sesshoumaru quirked his eyebrow.
"Something wrong?"
The two women turned to look at him. Both were glaring at him, and it was a glare that promised death.
Kagome then hissed and turned around, storming out off the room.
"Now what was that about," Sesshoumaru wondered out loud.
"Like you wouldn't know!" Kayade snapped, glaring daggers at the demon lord.
"Explain."
"Very well, Lord of the Western Lands. We saw you last night."
"Hmmmh?"
"Tell me, Sesshoumaru." Kayade said, narrowing her eyes and showing off her fangs. "Who is that inu-bitch you were with?"
"Ah that... She's Shizuki. Just my fiancée," Sesshoumaru replied in a bored tone.
"Just your fiancée?" Kayade repeated, now yelling and growling openly.
"Oh, I see it now! You always were just playing with her, right? Not for a one moment were you serious!" Kayade now was standing right before him, her clawed finger furiously prodding his chest.
"Hitachi was right about you," she spat out, eyes gazing at him full of disgust and antipathy. Sesshoumaru noticed that her free hand, the one that was not sinking into his chest, twitched anxiously as if it wished to punch him. For awhile Sesshoumaru really thought that the raged wolf demon would beat him into a pulp. Instead she spat at his feet and stomped off, using the same door through which Kagome had vanished earlier.
'Way to go, pal,' the inner demon snickered.
'You keep your mouth shut.'
'Now they both think that you're a two-timing jerk.'
'I said be silent,' Sesshoumaru snarled.
'I doubt she'll ever speak to you again.'
'...'
'This is just great. How am I ever to mate her now? We gotta win her back.'
'This Sesshoumaru – '
'Oh come on, twit! Don't give me that crap that you don't give a damn about her, 'cause neither of us is buying it!'
'...'
'Admit it! It disturbs you that she's so upset, doesn't it?'
'Hmph,' Sesshoumaru replied, ignoring the twinge in his heart.
'Feh, suit yourself, snowball!' with that snap the voice of his other self was gone.
Great, Sesshoumaru sighed to himself. Everyone's sulking and hating me now and it's all Shizuki's fault. Well, at least Kayade was able to control her anger and did not insult my person by hitting me.
A couple of days later Sesshoumaru thought that it would have been best if the wolf princess had just beaten him with all of her anger... But no. She had to go to extreme.
"You have a guest waiting for you in your office, Sesshoumaru-sama."
"Again? Why did you let the guest into my room?"
"It would have been impolite to make her wait here?"
Her, is it? I just hope it's not Shizuki..
The woman was dressed in traditional silk kimono. Its colour was rich royal red and it had pure white stars embroidered in it.
"What is the meaning of this," Sesshoumaru demanded to know.
"Hisakata Sesshoumaru, the Lord of the Western Lands." she greeted him bowing.
"I am Shirakawa Kayade, the heir of the Northern Lands. I am here to speak to you on the behalf of my father Shirakawa Kouga, the Lord of the Northern Lands."
Sesshoumaru gazed at the wolf princess, frowning. She took out a scroll of parchment and cleared her throat.
"Lord Sesshoumaru, hear Our words. The miko Higurashi Kagome has for a long time been a close friend and ally to the Northern Lands. Thus we now declare that any insult towards Lady Higurashi Kagome will be seen as an insult towards the Northern Lands. Hereby We raise Our voices now, to tell You that We do not agree with Your decision to mate this Tadachi Shizuki. We are being serious with this statement.
If You wish to ignore Our declaration, know, that the times of war may fall upon us. This is what We have wished You to know.
Remember Our words.
Lord Shirakawa Kouga & Lady Shirakawa Ayame of the Northern Lands."
Sparkling green met burning amber. Then Kayade lowered her head in a bow. She set the parchment-scroll she had just read aloud on his desk.
"I have thus fulfilled the task my father has appointed to me," she announced.
"Farewell, Lord Hisakata Sesshoumaru of the Western Lands." she bowed for the last time and then walked out of his office, her white tail swinging in the pace of her footsteps.
Once he was alone, Sesshoumaru sighed. Now this was going to be messy. Truth to be told, he'd rather take the miko as his mate than the dog demoness. But his pride and honour bound him. He couldn't forsake nor ignore his father's will without bringing shame upon himself. He couldn't disobey his father's will even if it would cause a war.
And then the happenings took a twist to worse. On that same evening when he returned to his home he found there was someone waiting for him.
"I told you this before, Lord of the Western Lands: Once you go too far I will come to stop you."
"What is it that you want, Hitachi."
"A revenge for her."
"Why such affection towards plain ningen girl? You're not even friends with her."
"You really have no heart."
Hitachi's hollow words met silence. He inhaled deep before he spoke again.
"That girl faced with her companions the feared hanyou Naraku. She had to watch all of her friends to fall. Her memory was taken from her, a piece of her heart was taken from her! And then due one lapse her fiancé left her and now this poor pregnant woman must stand in responsibility for all that she has done. And now you wish to play with her affections and break her heart. She has suffered enough, Sesshoumaru. She has suffered, she has struggled... Yet, do you see her tears? No, she smiles widely and is happy... Happy!"
Silence fell again. Hitachi shifted a little bit.
"It's still not too late, Sesshoumaru. You can seek for your heart. If you find it, listen to it. You can learn to love that plain ningen girl. You don't have to hurt her."
Sesshoumaru answered with a snort.
"But know this: If you keep on hurting her, if you ignore her pain and pair up with Shizuki, then you are doomed. The war will seek you out. I will crush you. If the fight would be just between the two of us, then true, you would win. But I am not alone. You are. You stand alone in this fight, Sesshoumaru. All the others have abandoned you. No one will be standing by your side. No one will defend you. Not even Rin."
After saying these final words the Lord of the Southern Lands rose and left Sesshoumaru's apartment.
"You haven't done anything rash... have you?"
"I was yesterday on a date with Yorukawa Rennosuke."
"That guy who's the head of the Yorukawa corp.? Sesshoumaru-sama's business partner?"
"Yep, that's the guy."
"You... Are you angry at Sesshoumaru-sama?"
"Furious. I can't believe he did that to me!"
He sighed, a gloomy expression on his face.
"I was afraid of this all the time..."
"What is it, Hitachi-san?"
The demon focused his bright green cat-like eyes into hers.
"I'm sorry to say this, Kagome-san. But I think that it might be that he never was serious with you. That he only played with you."
Kagome's eyes widened.
"But Hitachi-san... Why?"
"I do not know. But I've known him long enough to know his recent behaviour isn't quite the one he's known of."
"Well.. yeah..." Kagome bit her lip.
"I am sorry," Hitachi said.
Kagome heard from the tone of his voice that he truly meant it.
"It's all right," she replied with a weak smile. "I just need a little time to get used to it..."
"Take all time you just need," Hitachi said gently.
"You look stunning, Kagome!"
"Why thank you, Rennosuke-san." she flashed him a smile. She was wearing the lavender evening gown Sesshoumaru had given to her that day he had took her with him to Italy.
"Where are we going again?"
"It's a business party, my dear Kagome. An anniversary to be exact."
"Hmmh, Sounds quite fancy. Are you sure that I fit in?"
"An angel like you will fit in without a doubt."
"Thank you, Rennosuke-san... Shall we get going?"
"Why yes."
As she saw them she heatedly cursed in her mind. Oh, why her?
She wanted to back away now but she had no choice, Rennosuke escorted her onward, towards the couple. The man was wearing a black suit. The woman beside him was breathtaking in her red dress.
As they reached the couple Rennosuke stopped.
"Congratulations, Hisakata-san," he said, shaking hands with the demon-lord. "Soraji-corp.'s 10 years old now."
"Thank you for your congratulations Yorukawa-san..." it was then when his nose picked up a strong sweet scent he immediately recognised.
"And I see you too have a lovely companion... Hello, I'm Yorukawa Rennosuke, the head of Yorukawa corp."
"Pleased to meet you," the woman answered with a melodic voice. "I'm Tadachi Shizuki, Sesshoumaru's fiancée."
Kagome was glad that she didn't slap Sesshoumaru then.
"And here's my girl, Higurashi Kagome."
Sesshoumaru had to grit his teeth to bite back the growl that had nearly escape from his throat when he heard this man claim the miko his.
Kagome leaned to Rennosuke's arm a bit more than was necessary as she extended her hand to shake Sesshoumaru's.
"I'm glad to finally meet you, Hisakata-san. Rennosuke-san has spoken only good of you." the miko awarded the human male with a tender smile.
Oh, he was Rennosuke-san now, instead of "that Yorukawa-guy"? When had this happened? Deep in his mind Sesshoumaru pondered whether the miko was doing this on purpose.
With a forced smile for the bitch standing by the traitor's side, Kagome allowed Rennosuke to walk her further, into the actual party.
As she twirled on the dance floor she felt his eyes on her. She couldn't tell how she knew that the gaze that prickled on her skin was his, she just knew. She wondered why he was so fondly staring at her anyway; after all, he did have his beautiful fiancée right by his side. A heated thought of revenge was burning in her mind. Well, if he was watching, better give him something to watch!
In the middle of the ball-room, in the middle of the waltz Kagome stopped and wrapped her arms around her partner's neck and tilted her head upwards, locking her lips with his.
After kissing Sesshoumaru, the kiss with Rennosuke wasn't that wonderful and pleasant but it wasn't a bad kiss either. She had experienced way worse kisses...
"Darling? Are you all right?"
Sesshoumaru did not answer. He continued to glare the pair boldly kissing on the dance floor, fighting against a strong urge to storm off at them, rip that Yorukawa into tiny pieces and then claim the miko's sweet lips himself, and telling to the whole hall of people that the miko was his woman.
"Sesshoumaru, you have been growling non-stop for minutes," Shizuki pointed out, nudging his arm. "What displeases you so greatly?"
"Nothing," Sesshoumaru barked out. "Care to dance?"
"Why sure!" Shizuki smiled brightly and the two inu youkais walked over to the dance floor.
Cursed, Sesshoumaru thought. I just didn't think of her as my woman...
'Told you you were falling for her.'
'Silence!'
'Still in denial? Fool.'
Kagome was no fool. As she watched the demon pair gracefully sweep over the marble floor her heart ached. It couldn't even be called 'dancing', what the two inu youkais did was even more beautiful, it was something divine. She felt a sting of jealousy. She wanted to be the woman who got Sesshoumaru's attention. She wanted to be in his arms. He was the one she really wanted to kiss... Sesshoumaru's betrayal for her had forced her to realise how deep her feelings for the cold demon lord were. She had not realised them grow but now the pain she felt in her heart, as she watched him holding his fiancée in his arms, proved it and there was no point denying it for those feelings certainly were there. Deep affection, something she could maybe even call 'love'...
But it would not matter now. He already had another woman. He had a fiancée. And Hitachi probably was right. The demon lord was incapable to love. He had been just playing with her. And that fact hurt her the most. Had he ever just wished to make her fall in love with him... Well, it seemed that he had succeeded.
"Poor girl." Shizuki whispered.
"What?" Sesshoumaru asked.
"That girl in that lavender dressing gown a few yards to the left from us."
"What about her?"
"Can't you see it in her eyes? Can't you sense it in her aura?"
"Sense what?"
"That deep sorrow. It seems to veil those pretty hazel eyes of her... I pity her."
"She seems to be enjoying herself if you ask me," Sesshoumaru grunted, glaring Kagome's dancing partner.
"Maybe it's because you're male that you can't see it as I can," Shizuki said as she kept observing Kagome's face.
"I know that look she has in her eyes... I know that look that's on her face. Her face is a face of a woman whose love has betrayed her."
Sesshoumaru was struck by Shizuki's words.
"How can you tell?"
"I've seen a face of that kind a thousand times. I've lived long. Humans may change but on a primary level they're still the same. Really a shameful thing. Poor, poor girl..."
Sesshoumaru now watched Kagome more closely. She did not shed a tear but nor was she smiling. Was he to be blamed of this change..? No. He shook mentally his head and grimaced. He was not the one to blame. Probably there was just some quarrelling between her and her dear Rennosuke.
Oh how he wanted to kill the man on the very spot.
Oh and how easy it still was to deny one's own feelings and lie to oneself.
Shizuki was pacing before the window of her hotel-room. It was a clear night, no trace of clouds on the sky but yet her mind seemed to be in turmoil. It all seemed hopeless. He was so cold and distant. Well, she had known him for long so she knew how he was. He had always been like that. Maybe she had just thought he would have changed during the centuries... But no. He was still as much Sesshoumaru as ever. And still, something in him felt different. The only option she could think of was that he actually had found a woman worthy of his love. This irked Shizuki much. She was getting desperate! She needed... she had to abide her father's will. Somehow. She had to teach that icy demon lord to love her... Maybe, if enough time given... But how much time? She didn't have forever. Shizuki stopped her pacing and threw herself on the soft bed, sighing. Something ought to be done. By the cold look he had given to her she knew he didn't like her. What was that she lacked? She knew his dislikes and she was nothing like them. She'd be his ideal mate! So why... Why did he refuse her? Couldn't he understand? She needed him to love her... Why couldn't Sesshoumaru see? Together they'd make a perfect match! Just like their fathers had planned. She had to come up with a plan of some sort. No matter what it would take... Sesshoumaru WOULD learn to love her.
Shizuki rose, a determined expression on her beautiful face. Yes. She'd have to do something extreme. Somehow she had to show him, to make him see, to convince him that she'd make a good mate... That together they'd be perfect. He would see.
Oh yes. Shizuki smiled. After this night there would be no way he'd refuse her anymore. She reached for her phone and dialled Sesshoumaru's number.
"Darling? It's me, Shizuki. I know it's pretty late already, but would you come over? There's something I want to show you..."
"How curious to meet at a time like this."
To her surprise it was he who spoke. Well, there really was no much choice since he was the only one there besides her.
The subway moved forward its bright lights making it hard to believe that it was already 1 am as they travelled through the tunnels.
"Time runs fast when you're having fun," she replied, watching out of the window. She really didn't want to face him. She still was angry at him. She still was hurt. But that wasn't all. She still loved him.
The scent of sorrow heavily hung in the air in that little train compartment. What a conflict is what between those words of hers and her scent.
"I suppose you were with Yorukawa Rennosuke then?"
"Yeah... We were on the country side near Tokyo on a walk."
"Why walk there?"
"Because there you could see stars. They were beautiful."
"So they have always been."
"I take it that you also were with Shizuki then?"
"Oh, yes. I went to pay her a visit."
Kagome clenched her fist. So paying her a visit late in the evening? She knew just too well what kind of visit that must have been...
The silence fell. Neither was sparing the other a look. The both were deep in their own thoughts. Neither of them couldn't speak out the words they wanted to. Kagome wanted to tell him about her feelings. Even though she knew he'd probably not care. But she thought if she could just tell him, then maybe the pain would ease a bit. Sesshoumaru would have wanted to tell her that Shizuki did not mean anything else than an annoyance to him. That no matter how hard the demoness tried no matter how desperate she was, no matter how extreme she went, he did not care.
"Kagome..."
She raised her head abruptly, staring at him wide-eyed. Never before had Sesshoumaru used her first name when speaking to her. It made her shiver to hear her name passing those lips.
"Kagome," he said again, "do you... enjoy being with him?" his voice was soft but it betrayed no emotion. His face held as blank expression as always. Sesshoumaru didn't want her to see how much the answer to his question would mean to him.
Kagome was startled. Was Hisakata-sama feeling quite all right? First he used her name, and then asked such a question... How could she be happy with Rennosuke? She only was with him to tick Sesshoumaru off... which seemingly wasn't working; after all, the demon lord was just on his way home in the middle of the night after paying a visit to his fiancée. She would have wanted to feel happy for him, to find himself such an ideal mate. But somehow... She couldn't. No matter what, she didn't want him to know about her rash, childish plan to make the demon lord jealous with Rennosuke. Especially when it wasn't even working.
But then again, going back to his question... It wasn't unpleasant to be with Rennosuke. He was a considerate gentleman who was very nice and listened to her. She enjoyed talking to him. Truth to be told, she even liked him – not in any romantic way, though. Funny how she had thought he was creepy just a week ago.
She flashed a smile.
"I do."
He stiffened. She wasn't lying. He could sense it; he could smell that she was speaking the truth.
'Why do you care if she's happy with that guy?' the inner demon asked tone filled with sarcasm.
'I do not care,' Sesshoumaru replied automatically, but his words were weak, his tone was meek and he didn't believe those words even himself.
Inner demon left him in peace. Even though little, it still was a progress. He hadn't yet admitted but maybe soon... Maybe... Hope was a good thing to count on.
"And you, Hisakata-sama?"
"I think we've been through much enough together, Kagome, for you to quit on being so formal with me."
His golden eyes held her amazed gaze steadily.
"Se... Sesshoumaru..." the name rolled unsurely from her lips, a little blush on her cheeks.
"Better," he stated nonchalantly, his face free of all emotions.
"And you, Sesshoumaru," she continued, "Are you happy with her?"
"Happy?" No. I'm annoyed with her... "Yes."
Once again silence fell.
And then the train began to shake. The whole world shook, they flew from their seats to the floor, Kagome landing softly on top of Sesshoumaru.
The lights of the train flashed on and off for some minutes and then the trembling and shaking stopped and darkness swallowed the two of them.
"Wha-What's happening," Kagome asked in a trembling tone. The heavy scent of her fear filled Sesshoumaru's senses.
"I think that was an earthquake," he calmly replied. "And now if you'd please get off me..."
"Oh right, sorry..." Kagome rose up; happy it was so dark that Sesshoumaru wouldn't be able to see her blush.
His gold eyes glimmered in the darkness as he got up and slowly walked onto the door of the subway. He examined it for awhile.
"My unfortunate duty is to inform you that it badly seems that," he took a pause just to add a bit of dramatic effect. "We're stuck."