A/N – Don't revolt! Here's chapter nine! Love me, hate me, leave me feedback!

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Chapter Nine – Can't See Past You and Me

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Tom pulled his pickup truck into the driveway, putting it in park. It had been a long, silent drive from the hospital, and he was in no mood to deal with anything. Hopping out, he walked sluggishly to the door, slipping in quietly. All he wanted to do was go up to his room and process.

But Lady Luck was not on his side.

"Daddy!" Brigitte's chipper voice rang through the halls and she ran up to him, throwing her arms around his legs. "You're back!" She reached her arms up, begging to be held.

Tom shook her off and headed for the stairs. "Not now, Brige." The little girl's eyes filled with tears as she watched her father slink up the stairs without a word.

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Sadie and Kwest were sitting together in the hospital cafeteria, trying to get some food in their systems. Sadie was barely sipping her coffee and Kwest was holding a half-eaten bagel. Neither of them were in the right mindset to eat.

"Kwest?" she mumbled, not looking up from her Styrofoam cup.

"Yeah, Sade?"

"What's going on? With us, I mean."

Kwest glanced up at her, a little off-guard from her sudden question. He set down his bagel and looked her in the eyes. "I…I don't know," he admitted. "What do you want it to be?"

Reaching out, Sadie rested her hand on his. "Kwest, I like you. But, I don't know if it's just because you're the only one here for me, now. Because of Jude. And…I…I'm sorry…That didn't come out right. I…"

"Sadie," Kwest murmured, wrapping his hands around hers delicately. "I like you. A lot. If you want it to be something, then…it'll be something. If you don't, that's okay. But I want you to know, I'm not just doing this…I'm not here with you because of Jude…"

Sadie smiled at him. "Okay." Sighing deeply, she leaned over and rested her head on Kwest's shoulder. "Okay…"

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Tom settled himself in the sunroom upstairs, locking the door behind him. Walking over to the bar, he pulled out a glass and a fresh bottle of whiskey. "I can't believe it's come to this," he muttered, twisting open the cap and pouring himself half a glass. "Bottom's up."

Lifting the drink to his lips, he shook his head and quickly swallowed every drop in the glass. It burned the entire way down, but Tom felt nothing. Only a quick calm passing through his veins.

Reaching for the bottle, he poured himself another glass.

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Sadie lifted her head from Kwest's shoulder, a puzzled look on her face. "What were you and Tom talking about before? In Jude's room?"

Kwest sighed. "Do you know why he's here?" She shook her head. "He...he and Portia have a daughter. He just found out. That's why he left."

Sadie's eyes widened. "They what?" she screamed, causing everyone in the cafeteria to turn and stare. She ducked down, lowered her voice to a whisper. "He and Portia!"

"Yeah…and Jude came to find him and take him back to Toronto. But...he...he told her that he's staying here…"

Sadie furrowed her brow. "He's staying here? But what about Jude?" Kwest looked down, a guilty look on his face and her face fell with realization. "That's why she got in that accident. Damn him!" she fumed, trying to keep her voice low this time.

Kwest frowned, hating to see her so upset. "Sadie, I tried to stop him, but he says he has to be a better father than his own dad."

Sadie crossed her arms over her chest, a look of defiance on her face. "Well, screw him then. Jude's better off without him."

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Portia walked into the kitchen and saw her daughter sitting at the table, tears in her eyes. Rushing over, she knelt in front of her, her maternal instincts sending out warning signals. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"

"Mommy, is Daddy mad at me?" she asked, looking up at her mom with wide eyes. Portia felt her chest tighten as Brigitte's face twisted with sadness.

She wrapped her arms around her daughter, holding her close. "Aww, honey. Why would you think that?"

The little girl pulled back from her mother, her voice soft, "He wouldn't even give me a hug when he got home. He just ran upstairs…" Brigitte choked back a sob, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Brige, I'm sorry. I'll go talk to him, okay? I'm sure he's just worried about Jude." Portia kissed the top of her daughter's head. "Go to your room and I'll be there soon, okay?" Brigitte nodded and walked slowly down the hall.

Portia sighed and made her way up the stairs, praying to God that she knew what to say to Tom.

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Tom held up the glass, watching the light reflect through the translucent amber liquid. It was a mesmerizing sight. This was his…fifth? Sixth drink? He had lost count. His mind was as liquid as the whiskey.

He set the glass down and rested his head in his hands. Brigitte's disappointed face flashed before his eyes and he sighed. So far, he wasn't doing so great at being a good father. He wasn't even sure how to go about it.

To tell the truth, he wasn't even sure why he cared so much, anyway. He barely even knew Brigitte, but there was something about her that made her so hard to let go of. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he knew there was something special about his daughter.

Maybe it was his paternal instincts. He never really thought of himself as a father. At least not at this time in his life. Sure, he had imagined his future. He'd live in a big house, with acres and acres of land. He'd have his own studio and he'd make sweet music all day long. And he's always imagined a big family growing up there. But there was one thing missing from this perfect life. And that thing was lying on a hospital bed, hanging onto life.

At that moment, a scary thought crossed his mind. Does it really matter? Does any of it really matter? "Not without Jude," he muttered, picking up his glass and downing all the contents. He felt his mind go blank before his world went black.

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Portia stopped in front of the door to the sunroom. Tom had to be in there. She never shut the door. Reaching up, she knocked gently.

No answer.

She grabbed the knob and twisted, but it didn't budge. "You locked it?" she muttered, sighing. She stood on her tiptoes, reaching in the hanging plant next to the door, and pulled out the spare key. "Thanks, Mom."

Portia stuck the key into the door, successfully unlocking it. Taking a deep breath, she opened the door slowly, peering around. "Tom?"

Stepping in, she frowned. Where was he? Walking over to the windows, she gasped. "Tom!"

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A/N – Oh my God! What happened! Since I love you all so much, there is another update today! Go check it out. But leave me a review?