Disclaimer: Still the same, not affiliated with Buffy or Angel!

Chapter Two: Agony

Sitting down to a cup of tea, Willow and Buffy looked at each other and smiled. Willow had been very busy with class and, with no new demons lurking about, they hadn't really had much time together over the last week. Buffy looked horrible and Willow felt guilty. She remembered how angry she was when Oz left and how much she had needed her friends to help her through things. Feeling like a total hypocrite after her Oz meltdown, Willow mentally berated herself for not being more available to Buffy during her time of darkness after losing Riley.

"Not been sleeping well, Buff?" Willow asked with an air of (very noticeably fake) nonchalance.

"Just last night," she replied with a half smile. "I had a dream about Riley. It kind of gave me the wiggins."

"Oh that's great!"

Buffy stared at her blankly. She almost laughed at Willow's outburst. Willow was very smart and had a tendency to burst out thoughts that she had completely worked through inside her head, not realizing that no one else would get it. Willow must have seen the look of confused amusement on Buffy's face because she grinned and impish grin back at her.

"Sorry. What I meant was, if having a dream about Riley gave you the wiggins, you must not be dreaming about him as much as when he first left."

"Oh! Gotcha. No, the thing is I never really dreamed about him that much, so, yeah, I'm completely off guard, but that isn't where the creeping comes in."

"It's not?"

"No. Remember those dreams that Angel and I were having when the First was after him? Well, it felt like that. . .like maybe we were having the same dream."

Quietly, Willow leaned in and whispered, "Was it like those dreams with Angel? Were you- I mean did you. . .you know?"

Buffy laughed outright at the look on Willow's face. She was so funny. She had lost her virginity to a were-wolf, become one Hell of a witch, and come-out as a lesbian, but she couldn't utter the word sex out loud to her best friend. Willow laughed, too, knowing that she was always going to be who she was and taking great joy in the fact. The two friends hugged, but pulling apart something strange happened. Buffy didn't quite want to let her go. They had friends for so long and she had felt so alone over the past years. As they pulled apart, Buffy felt agony inside. After Willow had come out, Buffy had always felt a terrible nagging in the pit of her stomach, like maybe Tara had moved in on what should have been hers. She had never considered the possibility that she, Buffy, might be a lesbian. The pieces had never quite fit together. It wasn't women that Buffy felt the attachment to. She liked men. Except she sort of happened to maybe like Willow, too.

"Will, can I ask you a question that's going to sound completely ridiculous?"

"No."

"No?"

"I'm just kidding, of course you can."

Buffy bit her lip nervously. The thought of asking Willow what she was about to ask her made her feel sick. She had no control over it, though. It was strange.

"Willow, when did you first start having feelings that you might like girls? Did it really start with Tara?"

'Shit,' Willow thought. 'Does Buffy know?' Willow hadn't started liking girls when she met Tara. She remembered the first time she had been attracted to a girl like it was yesterday. She and Buffy had been sharing a dorm room for about a week and they were watching movies together in Buffy's bed. Neither of them thought much of being that close together, they had been friends for years. Buffy was in boxers and a t-shirt, Willow was in purple flannel shorts and a thermal tank top. Nothing about the scene was overtly sexy. They were dressed as they were always dressed, nothing was different. It wasn't like in some male fantasy where they engaged in a passionate pillow fight. They had looked at each other and Buffy had kissed Willow tenderly on her lips. They fell asleep holing each other, but nothing else had ever happened. Neither of them acted as if it meant anything. It had been innocent enough and they had no idea that they had both craved much more.

"No, not exactly. . ."

"Willow, did you ever have thoughts like that about me?"

"Why do you ask?" willow answered, feigning innocence.

"Because I have those feelings about you sometimes."

Her heart beating wildly, Willow kissed Buffy on the lips. Their mouths were closed, there was no tongue. It could seem platonic if taken out of context, but they both knew it was an invitation. Even knowing that Buffy wanted her, Willow couldn't bring herself to initiate sexual acts. Following her lead, Buffy began to kiss Willow deeply. Willow smiled as she pulled away, gazing deeply into Buffy's pale blue eyes. She yearned for her. She began to kiss her again, but a figure entered her peripheral vision. It was Tara, tears streaming down her face.

"I- I should have knocked. I just knew W-willow was here and I brought you two some m-m-muffins." She dropped the wicker basket she was carrying to the floor, blueberry muffins scattering everywhere. "I thought they'd be good with your tea," She said before turning and running out the door.

Willow ran after her. 'This has to be a dream,' she thought to herself. She was running as fast as she could, but she couldn't catch Tara. She gave up and jogged back to the Summer's home, dreading the look she feared she'd find on Buffy's face. She knew that Buffy would be sympathetic and considerate. She hated that look. She wanted to see that look that Buffy had made right before they kissed. That was a good look for Buffy. It hurt her that Tara was in such pain, but she had to follow her heart.

Buffy met her at the door. There was no look of sympathy. It was there! The look of lustful craving, of passion and hunger! Willow wrapped her long, slender arms around Buffy's petite frame and kissed her again, right there on the stoop. Her and wondered down to the Slayer's tight, firm ass and groped. She felt like silk, like heaven.

Divine.

Buffy didn't care if the neighbors saw her kissing a girl, but she knew she had to get willow inside. She couldn't satisfy this craving with a kiss, she couldn't be fulfilled by lips touching. She had to be with Willow. She wasn't sure what all that entailed and she didn't care. She remembered sex, of course, and knew that she wanted to hear Willow make all those familiar moans as Buffy touched her in the right places. She wanted to kiss the other girls smooth thigh, feel her hand between the other girl's leg. She wanted to taste her. Picking her up with ease, she carried Willow up to her bedroom and laid her down gently on the bed. Unbuttoning Willow's pale blue shirt, she felt as though she could float.

TBC