Pants
Chapter Four: Lost in the dark. . .
Hiei gets dragged into a dark room upstairs by Kichi, the lights are off and he can't see. (for the purpose of this story he cannot see in the dark. Poor Hiei)
Kichi slams the door once…
pauses…
opens the door again…
slams it closed again…
slams head against the door and promptly passes out in front of it.
Hiei: What the…?
Mysterious Voice: no one can move his bulk… not one…
Hiei: who's there!
Lights mysteriously switch on with a clapping sound. Hiei claps his hands to either cheek.
Hiei: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD SPARE ME!
The walls are covered in happy bunnies. The insanity. shakes fist
Hiei: THE BUNNIES! THE BUNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!
Shishi: never mind the bunnies!
Hiei: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-
Shishi: I said-
Hiei: SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS large breath SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS another breath ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss gasp ssss… sss… s… ugh…
Shishi: are you quite finished?
Hiei: BUNNIES!
Shishi: Bukkoroshite yaru zo-
Hiei: no I kid. I'm not going to start again. Wait what are you doing here?
Shishi: I'VE BEEN HERE FOR THREE YEARS! All I've had is hell in a basket!
Hiei: isn't it supposed to be box?
Shishi: how do you know that! Anyways, basket corresponding to the two basketcases that live here! Are you with them? like the panda (makes gesture to fat panda) god it's fat…
Hiei: hn…
Shishi: (shakes head) it is so fat…
Hiei: hn…
Shishi: I mean look at it! Those folds! And it has kankles! I've seen it pull cookies out of those folds! Even a squirrel, which it ate! I don't think it even knew it ate a squirrel, I bet it thought it was another cookie!
Kichi twitches in sleep and scratches butt. A flea jumps out.
(Quick and indiscreet scene change to PARTY CITY!)
Fishy and Dottie stood outside Party city, looking rather lost. Fishy and Dottie had acquired sunglasses somewhere. They were pink and purple.
Dottie: (puts hot pink bandana on head) How do I look?
(Another quick an indiscreet scene change to home)
Kurama pulled open the door with a squeak. It seemed like it had been rusted shut on the outside.
Kurama: That's odd. . .it looks like someone tried to lock me in but had no hands and couldn't operate the mechanism so they rusted it shut. . .
There is a loud Hiei-scream from upstairs. Kurama jumps. . .up the stairs. Or regardless, he does jump somewhere (twilight zone music)
Kurama: Hiei! Are you okay?
Hiei: GET THE FUCKING VACUUM AND HURRY!
Kurama: the vacuum? What?
Hiei: AaAaaaaaAaaaargh. HURRY!
Kurama decided that this had to be important and raced through the halls. It was like a frikkin' mansion, although it was so small looking on the outside.
He came upon doors that led to – horrors of all horrors – thousands of other doors that were papered with bunnies that frothed at the mouth.
Finally, he came upon a smaller door and yanked it open. He was very surprised to see what was in the closet. There was a vacuum.
Kurama: Who the hell are you?
Oh, and a girl. In the closet. Not the vacuum. It was there too, though. Just less important to this. Vacuum + girl. Two.
Photon: I'm your friend. Fotan.
Kurama: You mean Botan?
Photon: . . .yes.
Kurama: You're not Botan. Your hair is pink and purple. Not to mention that it's in pigtails.
Photon: What are you talking about Koenma?
Kurama: It's Kurama.
Photon: Yes of course.
Kurama: Is there a vacuum in there?
Photon: why, yes, yes, there is.
Kurama: May I have it?
Photon: you may BORROW it.
Kurama: um. . .thanks.
Photon steps out of the closet. Kurama is shocked by her manner of dress – she is wearing a poofy pink dress with stars all over it. A wand is taped to her left hand. He is reminded of a certain annoying American old movie.
Kurama: Do you. . .work for Fishy and Dottie?
Photon: No. Call me Glenda.
Kurama: So you're NOT Botan?
Photon: Yes I am. . .not Botan.
Kurama: (mutters) skitso.
Photon: Pardon?
Kurama: I'll be back in a second. (takes vacuum with him)
Photon waves goodbye happily. The wand falls off. Kurama walked faster.
Kurama easily came upon the exit door. How odd. When he returned to the base of the stairs, he found Hiei sitting there with a Bowie knife.
Hiei: What took you so damn long? And what's with the vacuum?
Kurama: . . .Fuck you, Hiei. Where were YOU?
Hiei: I was locked in a bedroom with Shishi Wakamaru.
Kurama raised his red eyebrows.
Hiei: What? It's true.
Kurama: Where is he now?
Hiei: Busy with that fat, fat, panda. And the folds of cookies.
Kurama: I'll take your word for that.
A/N: okay… optical nerve
Well, that's this chapter, have fun… or at least,
Wait it's over now so yes… let's see…
Bye now-
Next Chapter: lookout for drunk bunnies and mutiple Kuramas
Yes.