Chapter 20: Dangerous Deceptions

Solas left in the evenings for a full week and not one lead produced a result. By the time he came home on the seventh night, early in the morning, sweaty and tired, his patience had worn thin. Someone was working against him. Each time he had a meeting set up to speak with an informant, something would come up and the informant had been scared away or never showed in the first place.

Typically, when he came back to Mercy's Rest late into the night he could slip into bed without waking his sleeping partner. But tonight she stretched and turned as he came through the eluvian, making soft sounds. She propped herself up on her elbow when she saw him. "Mmm… You're back late again. No luck this time either?" she asked.

He shook his head, pulling off his boots with a heavy sigh, flexing his toes. "No. Nothing. Informant never showed."

Pushing herself up, she slid across the bed and snaked her legs around his waist. She kissed the back of his neck. "Do you want me to use my contacts?"

He shook his head.

"Because you don't want me to know what you're up to? What happened to honesty?"

"I don't want you involved, vhenan. Anything that could be dangerous is a risk. And in your condition-"

"I'm pregnant, not useless. And I'd be less stressed if my partner told me where he was going, or better yet, took me with him. Come now, my love, we used to do everything together. Let me be there to help. I can be very… persuasive." Her fingers trailed along his ear and she nibbled his earlobe.

A smile spread across his lips as she kissed down his neck. He twisted and leaned her back down to the bed. "Are you not occupied with your own missions with the Inquisition? You haven't been telling me much of your activities."

"Isn't it frustrating?" she said in a low voice, pulling the covers up over her torso. "When someone is keeping something from you that you want… desperately?" She watched his eyes roam over her form, feeling the soft pulse of his desire grow as he hovered over her.

That coy smirk of hers was enough to overtake his self-control. He lowered his lips to her neck, embracing the warmth of her skin through the sheet. "Maddeningly so. But why not give in, when it's what we both want?" He teased along her neck, hovering just above the sensitive skin there. He could practically feel her pulse quicken below his lips. "Did you forget? The bond connects us both. I can feel you… wanting me." His lips brushed along her collarbone and her breath hitched. She suppressed a moan, but her desire spoke to him without words. His fingers trailed down to the edge of the sheet covering her, playing along just above her skin. "If you let me, I can show you…"

She kept her grip on the sheet and shook her head, though she felt herself buck in response to his hardened length between her legs. She did want him. A small fire burned in her core, aching for him to touch her. "Not until you tell me what you're doing."

Her minxy grin stoked the embers of his arousal as he lowered his lips to her neck once more. "You want to know what I'm doing? I'll happily tell you," he breathed against her ear, sending an enticing shiver down her spine. "My hand is waiting, patiently, to touch your skin, to pull these covers away, leaving you bare beneath me so it can travel down, roaming over your body, touching you in every way that you like, until you call out my name. And then, when your body is ready and wet, I will descend upon your neck where my lips will claim your skin. Then I will slip inside you and give you all that you crave. Because unlike you, ma vhenan, I will not withhold myself from you when you want me so… desperately."

The heady blend of desire and attraction in his voice drew her in and she pulled his face down to her own, kissing him fiercely.

He ripped the sheet away, clasping one of her breasts in hand, swirling around her nipple with his thumb as he kneaded and massaged her. His hand barely lingered between her legs for a moment before she pulled it up over her head and angled her hips, beckoning him to join his body with hers. When he sank into her, he let out a groan of ecstasy. She pulled him close, biting into the muscle of his shoulder as he thrust, caving to his need. One hand gripped her wrist and the other tangled in her hair as he lost himself in his lust for her. She moaned beneath him and as he drew near his end he buried his face in the crook of her neck to suppress his cries.

He stayed, looking down at her parted lips, still catching her breath, hair splayed about on their sheets, radiant in the moonlight. And yet there was something more to her, the way she glowed, her breasts swollen and the gentle swell of her stomach as she grew round with his child that drew him to her. He kissed her lips and trailed kisses further down to her stomach, pressing his forehead gently to her bump. Thinking of their growing child, he could not contain the smile that came to his face. This was their child. And he was determined to give it a future worth having.

It was raining. Normally, Solas did not mind the rain much. But today he was waiting. In the rain. As he had been waiting for the past two hours. Something had gone wrong again. The informant who was supposed to meet him never showed and this time he had sent out a small batch of his own spies to scope out the city and none had returned as of yet.

The cityscape of Minrathous was a bustle with nightlife and the seedy area below the rooftop on which he stood was as lively as any. Gamblers and drug dealers didn't seem to mind the rain. Nothing mattered for them except the next high.

A familiar figure leapt across from a nearby roof and approached. The yellow hood would have been rather distracting in anywhere but Tevinter. Or perhaps some more ostentatious places in Orlais. A scared, freckled face poked out from beneath the hood, panting. "Sid and Crasitus were taken away. I saw it happen! I was lookout over in the bayside risers, but they went to meet the contact and someone knocked them out and took them."

"How many were there?" Solas asked, his voice level.

"At least half a dozen, I'd say. Maybe more."

"Did you learn anything else?"

"It has to do with slave shipments. We tracked them down to the docks near the warehouses. But when our folks got close, they knocked 'em out. I was on the roof, between two older buildings, and I just barely got away."

"The slavers took them?"

"I think so. They were dragging the others out of sight before they hit the ground."

"Show me where they were taken."

When they arrived at the spot in question, the stench of fish, seaweed, and piss welcomed them. Several shady warehouses were situated along the docks over in these parts of the bayside. Unlike the city center, however, this section remained quiet. A few shifty characters roamed the docks and waterfront, but other than that this section was practically a ghost town. Solas observed for a few minutes, listening as his scout, Tren, pointed out the spots where hooded figures had emerged.

"There!" Tren hissed, ducking down to avoid being seen as a figure on the roof slipped inside an upper window of the warehouse, closely followed by another.

But that didn't make sense. "Why would they be breaking into the warehouse?" Solas wondered aloud.

"Maybe they're stealing something?"

"Stay here and keep a lookout. We'll know soon enough." With that, Solas followed until he too stood where the hooded figures had slipped into the warehouse.

He had just reached the window when he sensed the presence of magic. Sure enough, a moment later purple lightning and unnatural blue light filled the room as shouts came from inside. Solas wasted no time, dropping down onto a storage loft from the window. If those were his people in there, he needed to get them back safely. Several scuffles took place just below his feet, but when he reached the edge of the loft and peered down, the fighting was already over. For the most part, several dockhands and thugs lay unconscious or dead. A few of the hooded figures bound their hands and feet to a support beam.

"Wouldn't it be better if we just killed them?" A low voice grumbled.

"You damn Crows always want to kill people. But sometimes keeping people alive is useful… say for information, which is the whole reason we're here," an irritated, yet familiar voice said. Solas tried to peer closer at the person speaking, to confirm visually that it was in fact Dorian Pavus who spoke.

"Oy! Rafters up there! We missed one!" A voice cried.

Solas's heart seized and he pulled back, preparing to fight, when a voice came from behind him. "Not another step."

The tip of something sharp poked him in the back and he cursed himself for allowing his guard to fall enough that someone could sneak up on him.

"Raise your hands. Slowly." Solas obeyed, not that it posed much of a threat to him if he did. He was still a powerful mage, after all. He didn't need a weapon when he was one. His hand began to glow.

"Mage!" One of the voices below shouted out.

"Oy! Don't try anything stupid!" A voice from below called out, hurrying up the stairs.

"You don't want to do that," the voice warned behind him, pressing the weapon's point against his back. "Ma vhenan."

He turned his head to peer over his shoulder and saw her there, a confused and suspicious look on her face as she dropped her weapon down.

Sera reached the loft's landing and skid to a halt, arrow aimed. "What the-?"

Solas turned around completely to face Lavellan, heart hammering in his chest. "What are you doing in this place?"

"What am I doing? What on earth are you doing? Why are you here?" she replied indignantly.

"Holy shite, guys, it's fucking Wolfy," Sera called down to the others.

Without any more provocation, the rest of the hooded figures hurried up the steps. A few he recognized from days gone by: Dorian, Sera, and Iron Bull (who didn't bother with a hood due to the horns). Some of the others he didn't recognize, but two surprised him: Loranil, a Dalish elf, and Zarrak.

"You told him where you were going, boss?" The Iron Bull asked, a growl in his voice.

She shook her head. "Nope. Which is why I'm surprised he's here. Why are you here, vhenan?"

"And more importantly, what on earth are you wearing on your head? It looks like a squirrel died and fell between your ears," Dorian commented, crossing his arms.

Sera laughed. "What's a matter, Wolfy? 'Fraid someone will recognize that shiny head of yours?"

Solas ignored their comments. He was more irritated to see his pregnant partner out fighting thugs than by anything they had to say. "What are you doing out here?" he asked, a coldness in his voice.

She crossed her arms defiantly. "Officially, I'm not. Nor are any of us. Especially Magister Pavus over there," she said coolly. Dorian gave a mocking bow behind her. "We're investigating disappearances. Plenty of slaves have gone missing and we think these people are somehow involved. But it's worse than that," she grimaced and then kicked off the lid of a half-open crate to reveal a red glow inside. "Someone is bringing red lyrium into the city and experimenting with it using slaves. Or others that they can kidnap off the street. People no one would miss."

"But why are you here?" he hissed.

She made a face. "Well I thought someone should do something about it."

Solas could not believe his ears. Waving his hand, he resealed the crate of red lyrium. "Have you lost your sense? You're sneaking off, fighting, all while surrounded by red lyrium? What were you thinking?!"

She balked at him. "That someone had to do something to save those people. The same as I have always done. Besides, it's not like I'm ingesting the red lyrium or taking baths with the stuff!"

"If you had been caught and hurt I wouldn't have even known what happened to you! Did you even think about the baby? Who knows what-"

"Hey, back off, both of you," Iron Bull growled, inserting himself between them. His imposing figure was thankfully enough of a deterrent that the two managed to stop sparking and pause for breath. "Look, we know boss is pregnant, but she's still damn useful and this is her mission, which is why she's taking point and acting as lookout while we go in after the big guys, right? We're not taking chances here. These Vints are bad news, but her experience with the Wycombe incident involving the Lavellan clan is very similar to the lyrium experiments and abductions happening here in the city. We need her expertise. And it doesn't hurt to have a little back up magical support here. But we're not putting her in danger any more than can be helped."

But Solas didn't care what The Iron Bull had to say. His fury was directed at his partner. "You didn't even tell me where you were going! You said you were at Skyhold," Solas accused, his temper still high.

She raised her chin. "Yes, because if I told you the truth, you would never have let me go without an armed escort of a dozen Sentinels! This is a mission that requires stealth and secrecy."

"Because I'm worried about you and the baby!"

"There's no need to be worried. We are fine. There haven't been any problems," she tried to explain.

"Yeah, except when she has to hurl," Sera remarked.

"Also," Dorian said, cutting in. "The Inquisitor, while fully capable of handling herself against multiple foes, does have an entire team to support her, I might add. Including a very talented and handsome mage," he said, indicating himself. "If she was in any real danger, we would never have let her come along. And besides, her pregnancy doesn't impact her ability to lead."

"Nor does it impair her ability to communicate her location and plans with her partner," Solas retorted, turning back to her with a scowl.

"Oh yes, let's talk about that, shall we? Since we're talking about honesty, what the hell have you been up to out here in Tevinter? Why were you sneaking around a building full of slavers and red lyrium?" she fumed.

Solas stiffened. "Reconnaissance. Or at least that's what I've been attempting, but apparently you and your merry band of saboteurs have been kidnapping my scouts!"

"We haven't kidnapped anyone! Weren't you listening? We've been following the slavers and the kidnappers to these docks. They're the ones taking people, not us. Now it's possible they took your scouts or…" she trailed off, looking a bit guilty.

"Or we might have hypnotized them with a spell or two. Nothing to worry about, I assure you. We only used it on suspicious persons. Just a little spell that made them forget where they were and what they were up to, followed by a strong desire to return home and take a nap," Dorian explained.

Things were starting to add up now. "Is that why my scouts are missing? And perhaps why my informants haven't been appearing to deliver their reports?"

She bit her lip and something in him eased at the familiar gesture. "It's possible," she murmured. But then her brow furrowed. "What were you searching for out here, anyway?"

Solas pressed his lips together in a thin line. He didn't want her to know. Telling her would cause her to worry… All at once, that thought echoed her words from only moments ago and he realized he had done the same thing she had. Ashamed, he hesitated over whether or not to tell her the truth. His gaze flicked over the others present, several of whom he did not know. He certainly didn't want to share that information with them.

"Come now, we're all friends, aren't we? Surely there's no need to keep secrets, right 'Solas'?" Dorian said, a note of resentment and disapproval in his tone.

Solas turned back to his partner's expectant look. "I was following the red lyrium smugglers. My search led me here." That was enough. He knew from her look that she expected more of an explanation, but for the time being, that was all he was willing to share.

"Well then care to help us destroy it?" The Iron Bull asked, cracking his knuckles.

"I would rather take my partner and our unborn child away from it instead."

She narrowed her eyes at him, but turned to address the others. "We're nearly done here anyway. Bull, make sure all of the red lyrium is destroyed and disposed of safely. Dorian and Zarrak, help free the slaves. Use the usual channels, but make sure you stay hidden. Sera, make sure those thugs," she motioned to the men tied up down below, "Stay unconscious. Wouldn't want them to have overheard anything," she said irritably, flicking her eyes back to Solas. "We will talk back home."

It wasn't exactly talking, though. No, it certainly wasn't that. Instead, it was mostly shouting. And angrily tearing off wigs and cloaks and boots. Solas, who rarely let his passions get the better of him, was enraged at her for lying to him. And she, in turn, was equally as infuriated by his own deceptions and attempts to dodge around her questions.

"If you had just told me where you were going, we wouldn't have had a problem!" she argued, pacing angrily back and forth with her hand balled up into a fist.

"If I had told you I was in Tevinter, would you have been any less worried? How do you think I feel, finding you there with a bunch of kidnappers and slavers?! What if they had taken you? Or hurt you?"

"I could very well say the same! In case you failed to notice, I had several capable people helping me and like they told you, I was the lookout! I didn't participate in the fighting. The most I did was stun and hypnotize a few people to make them wander away. You, on the other hand, were actively searching for red lyrium smugglers?! Why? For what purpose?"

"That is none of your concern!"

"Bullshit! I am your partner, bonded to you, Solas. I bear your child, yet you have the audacity to say it isn't my concern what you're after? Especially when it concerns red lyrium. Don't you know how dangerous that stuff is? In the wrong hands it could…" Her words died in her throat as she looked at him, a cold chill growing up her spine. She shook her head, too scared to even hold the thought in her head. "No. No, please, Solas, tell me you weren't planning on using red lyrium. Tell me that is not a part of your plan that you have kept from me."

The fearful, disbelieving look on her face felt like a stab to the heart. His rage left him, replaced by something far colder. "That is not why I was interested in the red lyrium shipments."

She searched his face. "Then why? What are you looking for?"

He bit his tongue. He did not want her to know. She would not understand.

She saw his resistance and stepped closer to him, pleading with her eyes. "Please, Solas. Tell me. You swore you would be honest with me about your plans. You promised," her voice cracked at the end as something in her broke. She had trusted him. She had believed him. And yet she had heard rumors. Rumors that she prayed were false.

Where previously their spirits had warred in their anger, now Solas felt her hurt, her heartbreak, her fear. He found himself shaking his head and wanting to reach out to her, to take her in his arms and promise that everything would be alright. But he had promised not to lie to her.

He looked at her solemnly, his heart constricted. "An ancient, powerful item, from before my time. A small statue made of red lyrium."

"What is it for?" she whispered, sensing the anguish within him and growing more afraid of the answer. But she had to know.

"Vhenan-"

"-Don't lie to me. Please, Solas."

He looked at her, a crushing weight bearing down upon his shoulders. Every bone in his body rebelled against him, but he had promised to be honest with her. He could not lie. He shook his head, unable to look at her.

She covered her mouth, unwilling to accept this. "You mean to use it, don't you? Solas, you know what red lyrium does to people! You've seen what they become! How it corrupts everything it touches. How it changes people into monsters. How it makes them lose their minds. How it kills…" She clamped her mouth shut and turned away as a sickening revulsion rose in her stomach. Pressing her hand to her mouth and shaking her head in disbelief, she staggered back, fighting the wave of nausea that overcame her. "Why?" she finally managed, her voice cracked and hoarse as she felt tears burn in her eyes.

"It must be done. Even now, I am not strong enough to defeat the Dread Wolf, much less the Evanuris. Even to bring the Veil down alone, I must-"

"-But you're not alone! You're not alone anymore, Solas. You have me, you have us," she said, taking his hand and putting it to her bump. "Please," she whispered. "Please, you cannot do this. Red lyrium isn't safe. I saw what it did to you in the future at Redcliffe. You were dying, please-" she choked off, stifling a sob. She couldn't breathe. The air had been stolen from her lungs.

"I told you before that I did not wish for you to see what I become, vhenan…" he whispered, his voice strained, as if the words were glass within his throat. He could feel the tiny flicker of a heartbeat beneath his palm and the warmth of his partner's skin, the tightness with which she held him.

"You promised me," she breathed, air rushing into her lungs. "You promised me that you would find another way. But the Dread Wolf and now red lyrium… Ma vhenan, it is too dangerous. I don't want to lose you. I can't-I'm not-I'm not strong enough to lose you again." She hung her head against his chest, hating the weakness in her admission.

Solas froze, biting down on his lips in anger, hating himself. Hating that he was the cause of her pain yet again.

"I don't understand… You said you wanted a future with me, a family. Was that all a lie?"

He shook his head, his throat dry and scratchy, like a sandstorm. "I want that, vhenan. I want a future with you. With our child. But I cannot promise a future like that will come to pass if the Veil falls before I have the power to take it down myself. I am not strong enough, vhenan. I wish that I was, that I alone was enough…"

"You are enough. You are my world. Is that not enough? You are not alone, not ever. Not while I still breathe." Her fingertips dug into his shirt, gripping it tightly, afraid he might slip away.

"Vhenan…" But he did not know what to say. He had hoped to find another way. A better way. But sundering the Veil and restoring two realities was magic on a scale no mortal alone could stand. He had hoped for a life beyond, with a world made whole again, without fear from gods or greater evils. But even that would take time and a fool's hope. He had hoped for a future where he could raise his child and be with the one he loved. But he knew the price he would have to pay to create such a world.

"What were you going to do?" she asked, pulling back to look him in the eye, tears staining her cheeks. "Were you going to send me away or did you think I wouldn't notice the red lyrium's effects until it was too late?" She shook her head at him, trying not to sob. "And you had the audacity to lecture me about getting close to red lyrium? What about when it's consumed you? Should I keep myself and our child away then too?"

"Yes," he whispered, in a voice that did not sound like his own. "If it comes to that, you must stay away from me. I will not have you see what I become. I will not let you get hurt."

She stared at him in disbelief, then shoved herself away. Wrapping her arms tightly around herself she backed away from him. "You have already hurt me, Solas." With that, she grabbed her cloak from off the desk and stormed towards the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked, his voice constrained in anguish. His heart pounded in his chest, afraid.

She turned back and looked over her shoulder, a tear cutting down her cheek as she looked at him. "Where you want me to go: away." Turning on her heel, she left the room, the castle, and him behind.

Solas watched her leave, his heart begging him to call her back, to beg her to stay. But he did not. He remained silent, frozen in place, as she walked away from him.